


Forbidden Fruits

by Angmar



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Boundaries, Church Girl, Colliding Worlds, F/M, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Feeling sinful, First Love, First Time, Forbidden Love, Love at First Sight, Motorcycles, Phone Sex, Secrets, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2019-10-12 03:23:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 65
Words: 227,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angmar/pseuds/Angmar
Summary: Just like most of their brothers, Juice and Happy only use women to entertain them. Their perspective on them changes as they fall in love; one with a sweet Christian girl who will never fit into the club life; the other with the charming daughter of the President, from who he is keeping a terrible secret since the day he met her. Both relationships appear to be doomed to failure, but will they ever accept the inevitable?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! A little note before the story starts; this story is a reshape of an RPG which I did with a friend. Because of the writing process there will be a omniscient narrator, which gives you some insight in the thoughts of different people within one chapter. English isn't my native tongue, nor that of my co-author, and because we first wrote it just for fun, I have paid a little less attention to my English than in my other works whereby I'm often cooperating with an editor. I hope you'll enjoy it nevertheless, we love the storyline enough to be willing to share it with you, despite the flaws (:

Faye stood in her room in front of the mirror and put on some make-up. Eyeliner, mascara and her slightly red lipstick. She made part of her hair into a braid and left the rest hanging curly over her shoulders. Actually, she looked like that every day, because she put a lot of emphasis on herself. She had definitely copied that from Gemma. In that respect, her stepmother was simply her role model. When she was done, she got her black, short tight dress from the closet and got dressed, plus her high heels. 

"Perfect," she murmured softly, turning once in front of the mirror before she went downstairs. Clay wasn't there anymore, only Gemma. "Did you already talk to the new neighbors ? Do you think we should help them?" she asked, looking out of the window to watch the neighbors carrying boxes into the house. 

"I'm right back." After those words, she disappeared and crossed the street. She quickly spotted a girl about her age, maybe a little younger. "Hey, we're neighbors now. I'm Faye Morrow. Who are you?" she introduced herself with a smile as she wrapped one of her strands of hair around her finger, looking at the girl almost excited. It would be great if they could hang out sometimes because there weren't a lot of girls of her age at the club and Faye really wasn't in the mood to spend all of her time with Croweaters.

* * *

Grace had just wanted to pick up another light weighing box as someone walked up to her and started talking. "Oh hey, Faye, nice to meet you! I'm Grace.' She shook the girl's hand, giving her a curious look. She was well-looking and there was something about her attitude that gave away she liked to push boundaries.

"Nice to meet you too, Grace!" Faye smiled and she shook Grace's hand. A polite one as it seemed. "You need any help?"

Grace glanced inside the cargo of the moving truck. The biggest furniture was already taken out, only a few piles of boxes were left.

"Nah, we'll manage." She smiled. "Some men from the church are helping us out. My father is the new minister, so I guess it's their way of welcoming us." She looked at the girl's black dress. "And that's a really pretty dress, it would be a shame if something happened to it."

Faye looked at the boxes and wouldn't mind to help. She wasn't one of those girls who started complaining when they had to help with something. "Okay, if you say so! But I wouldn't mind. Don't worry about my dress, it's not my only one". She chuckled briefly. So, Grace's father was the new minister? Could be interesting to have her around as a friend. Even though Faye was a sweetheart, she loved to provoke people sometimes ‒and the girl's parents probably wouldn't be happy if their daughter would hang out with a biker chick. "There's a party tonight. If you want I could show you around a little and take you with me ? They're all nice, I promise!"

Grace wasn't exactly a party animal. Her friends never had been interested in going out and neither had she. However, her friends were miles away now and she needed a new social life, even though she knew she had to be home at midnight. She however didn't want to admit that out loud, she definitely would sound boring.

"There's some guy inside who offered me to show around in town this afternoon, but I don't have plans for tonight. However, I'd like to keep it a bit early since it have been busy days, but sure, I can have drink or two. Hope you don't mind?"

The girl smirked as Grace mentioned a guy. "Oh, you already met a guy who wants to show you around ? That was quick," she laughed softly, teasing Grace a little. "Relax. You can leave whenever you want or need to," Faye nodded. She was sure that the girl's parents didn't allow her to spend the whole night at a club, but she didn't want to make Grace feel uncomfortable and didn't ask more.

Grace grinned back, shrugging her shoulders. "What kind of party is it anyway?" she continued, briefly looking at her clothes; a normal pair of blue jeans and a grey long-sleeved shirt with a smiley on it. What she was wearing now, was a perfect example of the clothes that could be found in her wardrobe – or in the boxes, right now. "Cause... better than this it isn't going to be..."

For a moment Faye studied the girl from head to toe. Her outfit was okay for her, but she'd definitely give Grace something out of her closet. If she'd show up like that some of the Croweaters would probably laugh at her, and Faye didn't want that. "Come over when you get back home, you can have a dress from me."

Grace started to feel a bit nervous. A dress? She had worn a dress to her graduation and on a few weddings, that was all. "Uh, okay," she hesitated, "but I don't wanna be rude, but you got uh, longer ones, right? I'm not really used to wearing dresses... like that." Her cheeks flushed and she hoped she hadn't offended the girl. She just wasn't as comfortable with her own body as Faye undoubtedly was.

Faye frowned, looking at the girl with crossed arms. She wondered what was going on with Grace. She had a great figure and was really pretty, but she probably hadn't much self-confidence ‒ which was kinda sad. "Yeah, I have enough. You can also choose a jeans and a cute top, that's fine too! Just come over later. It's that house", she pointed at their house. "And don't be nervous, there's no reason for that."

Grace smiled gratefully. "Okay, I will come by after dinner. Thank you for the invite!" Excitedly she lifted the box again and carried it into the house. She wasn't exactly a nightmare in making friends, but she had never expected she would come in contact with people of her age so easily and it gave her good hopes for the future. It hadn't been easy to leave everything behind, but her parents believed God wanted them to be in Charming. Even though it had been a bit scary to start over again, she also liked a new challenge. 


	2. Chapter 2

Faye went back to the house after saying goodbye to Grace. One thing she had to admit, was that she was really excited how the evening would go. However, she also hoped that Grace wouldn't be shocked once she saw the club and the people. It was definitely the opposite of her life, but that was the exciting thing about it.

"Sweetheart, come here!" Gemma shouted as Faye entered the house and quickly she went to the kitchen where Gemma was.

With a smile, Faye leaned against the kitchen counter and poured herself a glass of coke. "Yes?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, wondering what Gemma wanted from her.

"Can you get some stuff for tonight? I don't have time for it. Take someone with you and take the money you need." The older woman pressed a kiss on Faye's forehead and disappeared with her bag outside.

Faye looked after the woman and took her phone from her pocket, then dialed Jax's number. "Hey Jax. Mom wants me to get some things for tonight. Do you wanna help me?" she asked after her brother had answered the phone. Although she was old enough to go by herself, she was simply in love with company. She had always enjoyed having her family around her.

Just twenty minutes later, she got into the car with Jax and turned briefly to Abel. "Hi buddy," she said smiling, then she looked at Jax.

"Did mom tell you what she needs?" he asked with his usual charming smile.

Apparently Tara was just fine, according to his good mood. She could always tell when things didn't go so well between them. "Yeah, she gave me a list." She took the note out of her jacket pocket and let Jax know what they needed.

It took about two hours to get everything because they needed to go to different stores. In beween, Abel was a little hungry, which made the three take a break. Although Jax wasn't her biological brother, both loved each other like real siblings, and the age difference was no problem for their relationship. In general, Faye was glad that Jax and Gemma treated her as if she really was a full family member. Still she felt the need to know more about her real mom, but Clay never talked about her, never. No matter how many times Faye tried to talk to him, he didn't say anything. Jax and the rest of the club didn't talk about her either, which gave her a bad feeling.

On the way home, she pointed out that she would bring a new girl along tonight and asked him if he could make sure the boys wouldn't all rush to her new friend in one time. Hopefully they wouldn't flirt too much with her, after all, she didn't want to scare Grace.

"See you later," she pressed a kiss on Jax and Abel's cheek when she got home. She left the car and went inside. She had left the purchases with Jax in the car because he wanted to bring them to the club immediately. Arriving in her room, she put on some makeup again and swapped her sneakers for high heels. Then she sat down in the kitchen, putting a cigarette between her lips.

There was just one person buzzing through her head. Happy. Faye had been trying to get his attention for months without being overly constrained, but at every party he disappeared with one of the croweaters in his dorm instead of her. Often she wondered how his lips would feel on hers, or how his hands would feel stroking her body.

"But that will never happen," she said to herself, sighing softly.

* * *

Around midday Adrian showed Grace around in town. They walked past the shops and ordered a drink in one of the small bars, next to a boxing gym. They sat down around a table outside. She liked Adrian's company. Even though she never had real male friends, she felt comfortable around him. He was a few years older than she was and very good looking, with his golden locks and bright blue eyes. Despite his good looks she didn't feel attracted to him in a romantic way, which she was glad of. That would only stand a friendship in the way, and she was more interested in finding friends than in finding a boyfriend.

A few months ago Adrian had come back from a trip around the world, so there were plenty of stories he could tell her and she loved to listen to him and got to know him. He was a talented narrator, using different voices and playing with his volume. A smile adorned her face as he called up the longing to travel around the world as well. Two years ago she had been to Africa with some youth of the church, to do some voluntary work in an orphanage. She just wanted to tell him about her experience as four motorcycles raced across the streets. Adrian stopped talking immediately and she saw him tense. Grace caught a glance of the leather jackets they were wearing, with some kind of skeleton on the back.

"Is that... a motorgang?" she asked baffled. She had grown up in a safe neighborhood, she had never seen a gang member.

"Yeah, the Sons of Anarchy. Some dumb asses hanging around in a garage." He pulled a face. "Never liked them, they're all attention whores."

She raised her eyebrows as she heard his blunt words, but he shrugged. "You'll find out soon enough."

"I hope not," she muttered, feeling unsafe immediately. Her eyes were aimed at the street, where they just disappeared around a corner. She rubbed her arms, suddenly feeling cold. "Are they dangerous?"

"Nah. They have big mouths and like to punch faces, but they won't bother a girl like you. They'll definitely try to get into your pants, but they ain't rapists. Just let them know you're not interested if they start flirting with you."

Grace couldn't think of an occasion where she would meet bikers, but this was a small town. She nodded. Adrian continued telling about his adventures, but ever since she had seen the motorcycles she was a bit distracted and she was relieved when he offered to walk her home, so she didn't need to go alone.

* * *

At dinner Grace told her parents carefully that a girl had invited her to a party. Before they could object, she assured them she would be back before midnight and would take two drinks maximum. "I need this," she stressed. "Meet more people."

"What's wrong with the people you met today? They are well behaving people," her father said.

She shrugged. "There was only one of my age. And sure, we had fun. But Faye lives next to us and she's really nice."

"It's okay," her mother smiled. "We trust you." She glared at her husband. "Right?"

Grumbling, he nodded. "What kind of party is it?"

"Just hanging around with some friends of her at the bar. Nothing too wild."

With a sigh, he nodded. "Fine. But be careful."

She stood up and kissed his cheek. "Of course, dad." She squeezed his shoulder and went to her new room. There were tons of boxes and she had no idea where she could find her clothes. Instead of starting a long search, she decided to trust the girl next door, assuming she would have something in which she would feel comfortable enough to join her first party in Charming.


	3. Chapter 3

Grace rang the bell. Nervously she shifted her weight to her left foot and back to the right one, waiting until Faye would show up. 

When the door opened, it was a middle-aged woman who greeted her. "Hey darlin'. You must be Grace." She offered her hand, with a warm smile that reminded her of her daughter. "Gemma. Come in, Faye told me you would stop by. Have you settled down a bit?" 

"Not really," Grace answered, smiling, "but I'm glad everyone around is so helpful and friendly." 

They chatted a bit as they entered the house. The layout was similar to her own, giving her an impression of what her home would look like if they had unpacked their things. While walking to the living room, her eye caught a family picture, showing her Faye had an older brother. It was a handsome, blonde guy that didn't show many similarities with her new friend. She wondered if they could get along well. She had no brothers or sisters, and especially now she had moved to a new town she couldn't help but wonder how it would have been if she'd had a sibling to share the experience with. 

"Faye, honey! Your new friend is here!" Gemma yelled, laying a hand on her shoulder and giving her a light push. "You can go upstairs, it's the second door to the left."

Grace climbed the stairs and felt relieved when the girl stepped out of her room before Grace had to disturb her.

* * *

Faye heard Gemma call and grunted softly annoyed. Not because of Gemma, but because of her thoughts which she wasted on Happy, although there was no hope anyway. Of course he would fuck with someone else today, as always. It was only a matter of time before Faye finally lost control and would slap Happy's new toy in her pretty face, or worse. However, she would betray herself with that. As she walked out of the door, Grace was already standing in front of her. "Hey, there you are!" She reached for the girl's wrist and pulled her into her room. Faye had already put some outfits on her bed. "Choose one of them." She sat down on her windowsill and leaned against the window. On the bed laid a dress, a pair of jeans and a shirt and a skirt with a shirt, so Grace had a good selection. "And then we can go. You will certainly like it. But don't be scared, they are all bikers." A broad grin crept to her lips, but she wanted to "warn" Grace. "How was your trip to town?"

"They are all bikers?" Grace repeated with a shaky voice. Was this some sick joke? "You're kidding, right?" Her hand floated above the dark blue dress. It looked classy, not slutty at all, but she didn't know if she dared to wear it ‒ especially when those bikers for whom Adrian had warned her would be around.

"Yes, and their Old Ladies. We're not the only girls there. And my mom is there too, everything will be fine," she explained as she saw how nervous the girl was. "You should wear it. I'm sure it looks great on you!" Faye pointed at the blue dress. 

Grace held the dress in front of her. The fabric felt heavenly, it was probably expensive. Even though it looked classy, it was not too chic. And if this biker girl was usually wearing it, she wouldn't look out of place, right? A blush appeared on her cheeks. "I love it, but my parents are very old fashioned and I think my dad won't understand why I wear this instead of normal jeans. And I'm not staying long, so I can't change clothes here. I don't want to spoil your night." She put their former topic purposely on rest, she didn't want to offend the girl any further. She wasn't going to say another bad word about bikers until she had met them, even though the prospect squeezed her throat a bit.

Faye pressed her lips together, stood up and walked over to Grace. She rested her hands on the girl's shoulders. "Wear it. We'll take your normal clothes with us. You can change in the bathroom there then, okay? Your parents won't notice anything," she said, trying to convince the girl. Grace definitely needed a bit more fun in her life. "I'm waiting downstairs and I don't want to see you in other clothes," Faye smiled sweetly before she went downstairs, waiting with her mom for Grace. 

Grace took a deep breath and nodded, not wanting to spoil her friend's mood. The last thing she wanted, was sounding like a nag. As soon as Faye had left the room, she took off her clothes and put on the dress. Hesitantly, she looked into the mirror. It really was a beautiful dress. She stroked her hands across her bare arms while she kept looking at her reflection. The dress fell upon her knees and was shorter than anything she had ever worn, except for her bikini, and her legs were pale because they had seen so few sunlight. She walked up to the hallway. "Faye? You eh, you got thighs?" 

Ten minutes later they were ready to go. She still doubted it was a good idea to walk around in this clothes and she still felt uncomfortable, but Faye was really impressed about her outfit and she didn't take her for a liar. "Is it far? Should we take my car so you can drive back with your mom?" 

Faye shook her head. "No, we'll drive with my mom. And she'll also take you home, we already talked about that." It was totally okay for Gemma to drive the girl home later and probably Faye would even drive home with them. Faye had to admit that she really loved how the dress looked on Grace ‒  and probably everyone would try to flirt with the new girl in town. Hopefully Happy wouldn't ‒ that was her only worry. 

* * *

  
Happy tossed a towel in a corner and left the bath room. Rowena was gone, as she always was after a good fuck. He had to admit he was growing more and more fond of that girl. She just knew her limits and could sense perfectly well when he wanted her and when he didn't want her. He never needed to send her away, she knew when he had grown tired of her. She wasn't anything like her twin sister Melissa, who had more than once begged him to become his old lady. It was pathetic and had made him angry. He never hit women, but this one was really annoying and the last time she had declared her love to him, he had slapped her in the face and sent her away. Her grief had been brief, he had seen her disappear with one of his brothers a few days ago and he assumed she had found another victim. Good. Her sister was better in bed anyway. He put on his jeans and black SAMCRO shirt and went to the clubhouse. The prospects were still getting everything ready for the party and Happy walked to the dartboard. Last night he had embarrassed himself, losing from a dumb prospect, so he could use a bit more practice before the rest showed up.

Juice just went inside after another smoke and sat down on one of the sofas, watching Happy with a wide grin as he stood in front of the dartboard. "Trying to do it better tonight, huh?" he asked, still smirking. 

Happy glared at his younger brother, his wide grin annoying as always. Instead of answering him, he focused on the dart board again and kept staring to it until he had hit the bull's eye.

Juice chuckled as Happy didn't even give him an answer. He knew exactly how annoying his good mood sometimes was to Happy. "See, you're not that bad at all."  

Happy snorted. "Wanna take your chances?"  

Juice was just about to stand up and take the chance, as Faye came inside with someone he had never seen before ‒  and damn, that girl was a real beauty. She didn't look like one of the Croweaters or an Old Lady, that was kinda interesting.

 "Hey, you know who that is?" he asked Hap, nodding over to the two girls.   

Happy frowned at the sight of the girl. She looked around like she was in the wrong place, but Faye wasn't holding her hand for no reason. "I have no idea." He had to admit she was pretty, but too reserved for his liking – and probably half his age too. His eyes rested on Faye, who was looking good as always. He knew the Croweaters bored her sometimes, so he dared to bet she had taken someone more interesting to the party. "Doubt she's gonna like this." He snorted. "She looks scared man, as if she's trapped in a cage with hungry wolves." His eyes wandered to Juice, whose wolfish grin was suddenly very fitting. "Which she is, I guess." 


	4. Chapter 4

The whole place was overwhelming. Rock songs blasted out of the speakers, the floor felt sticky and the smell of booze, cigarette smoke, perfumes and sweat made Grace feel sick. Everywhere were scantily dressed women and the men were tall, loud and covered with tattoos. She cringed a little, even though she didn't want to be led by prejudices. For all she knew they could be really friendly. She took a beer from Faye, slowly sipping from it since she wasn't very fond of the drink. A bit shocked she looked around, feeling embarrassed as she felt how many men were looking at her. 

Faye raised an eyebrow, looking at the girl and chuckled. "Relax, just enjoy the party. No one will do anything if you don't want it, they're all nice," she told her again, trying to make her feel a bit more comfortable. Faye crossed one leg over the other, taking a sip of her beer. She looked around, noticing all the expressions on the guy's faces. And also the girls looked at Grace, but only after they noticed their "men" turned around to look at the new girl. "Guess you chose the right dress," she grinned briefly, looking over to Happy. Oh shit, she already felt this warm feeling in her stomach again.

"So eh, you ride a bike too?" Grace asked, hoping a conversation would distract her from her surroundings.

"Uhm no, I mean I can ride a bike but I don't have one," she answered, still looking at the tall man until she noticed that she was actually staring at him. Quickly, Faye looked back at Grace and cleared her throat. "Sorry."

"Sorry?" Grace repeated. "For what?" She had seen the girl had been a little distracted, but didn't know if she should push or not. She decided to do it, maybe it created a bond of trust. "At who were you looking?" she asked in a low voice, curious if there was an enemy around or if she had a secret crush.

For a moment Faye struggled. Should she tell Grace about Happy? She didn't think that Grace would walk over and tell him ‒ she was way too shy for that. "You see the man next to the dartboard? Him," she said, taking a deep breath. Even a girl she barely knew saw that something was going on. "He's great... like, really great. But let's talk about something else!"

Grace looked over her shoulder. There were two man standing there, both looking at them. One of them was really handsome, so there was no need to ask who she meant. The other looked old anyway. "Does he know you find him so great?" she asked, quickly turning her head back.  

"No, he doesn't know. It would never work between us. I'm too young for him anyway. I mean, I wouldn't mind, but... I think I'm not his type at all", she sighed. 

* * *

Juice looked at Happy. "Come on, man. She's hot... I bet I'm not the only one thinking like that," he said. But yeah, he noticed the almost scared look on the girl's face too. She probably never joined a party like this, or any party. "Maybe she's new in town and Faye wanted to be nice. She'll see that we aren't that bad." 

"You find her hot?" Happy asked with raised eyebrows. Sure, she had the right curves and a damn pretty face, but she lacked a sex appeal, although that might be because she didn't feel comfortable yet. "She's kinda cute," he admitted. "Maybe she's even a virgin." He grinned, suddenly more interested in her. He loved experienced girls, but being someone's first always gave a special feeling and truth to be told; if she was really a virgin she would be the only one in the clubhouse.

Juice smirked even more. Sure, her dress could be shorter, but he already imagined how her body looked underneath it. "You think? Damn, would be even better." In that case he saw it just like Happy. Experienced girls were great, but virgins had this little extra thing. He also noticed Faye staring at Happy, and that was not the first time. One day she had told him that she kinda liked the killer more than she should, but Juice never have said a word to anyone ‒ he had promised her that. 

Happy smirked back. "Maybe we should ask her." 

Juice frowned and thought about it for a moment. "Nah, don't want her to run away or something. But we should talk to her." The man walked over to the girls, leaning against the bar. "Hey, wanna tell us who your new friend is?" he asked Faye, where after he looked at Grace with a charming smirk. "I'm Juice." 

Faye looked up at Juice. "Yeah, that's Grace. She's new in town."

Grace glanced at the two bikers. They both looked ridiculous with tattoos on their heads; she had never seen that before. The one who had introduced himself as Juice however had a dazzling smile making her blush a bit. She had seen it well; he was really handsome and his strange haircut made him look both tough as easy-going. 

"This is Happy," Juice told her as the bald man didn't intend to introduce himself. He didn't look like a bright personality at all, if she was honest she found him a bit scary and couldn't really understand what Faye liked so much about him. She smiled hesitantly at Happy, who leaned on the bar with his elbow. It didn't take long before her eyes drifted back to Juice again. "You're born here?" she asked, trying to get a conversation going so she didn't look too shy. 

Now that Juice was closer to the girl he noticed how beautiful she really was. Her hair, her eyes, everything on her was just... perfect. Maybe she shouldn't even hang out here. Grace wasn't one of them, she was definitely different. But Juice was still glad that Faye had brought her here. "No, I was born in Queens but came here a while ago," he said, glad that she started a conversation. Even her voice was beautiful. "What about you? Where are you from?" he asked and he was really interested. 

"We moved a couple of times because of my father's work, but always around Portland. We never left Oregan until now." Even though California bordered the other state, it was still a 10-hours drive. Her friends would probably come over now and then, but eventually they would go their own ways. That was just how it worked. "But Queens... that's the other side of the country. What brought you here?"

"I'm glad your dad changed his mind. Otherwise you wouldn't sit here." Juice tried not to sound too flirty. He had already noticed that she wasn't one of those girls. She was a girl who wanted to have nice conversations and all that, so he tried. "When I was old enough to move out, I did it. And I heard from a few friends that Charming is a nice town," he answered. He didn't plan to tell her the truth about his past, he didn't even knew her yet. 

He did sound flirty, but Grace didn't mind much. As long as he wasn't touching her or kept staring into her eyes, she was fine. She was glad Adrian had warned her a bit, that was helping not to take his words too seriously. "You lived in Queens and you had friends telling you there was a cute little town on the other side of the country?" she said with a little smirk, not fully believing him. "Now I'm curious. What's the most interesting thing in Charming you can think of?"

"The most interesting thing? You're right here. Definitely this club." And that wasn't even a lie. At least not in his eyes.

Grace looked around. The clubhouse was crowded and everyone seemed to have fun, but it was hard to believe someone would move to this place just to become part of this. There had been a little spark of hope he would suggest he would take her to his favorite place, which would have been a bold move which undoubtedly had made her nervous, but she felt nevertheless disappointed he hadn't taken his chances. Although it was probably for the best. If her parents knew she would hang out with this people, they would freak out and it was better if she wasn't seen in public with a biker. "What's so special about this club?" she asked, shoving a little closer to him so she didn't have to raise her voice so much to shout down the loud music.

Juice wondered if he should take the chance to flirt with her, just a little. But it was hard because he had no idea how far he could go without her leaving or be scared or whatever. He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck. Was he really kinda nervous? What the hell was going on with him? She was just a girl. "Everything. But mostly the people. It's like a big family who's there for each other," he explained, looking into her beautiful eyes again. Maybe this would show her a little that the club wasn't that bad, that everyone here was just as normal as everyone else ‒ expect the killings, but Juice wouldn't mention that. He noticed she came a little closer and his his body tensed a bit. Did she want him to flirt with her? "You plan to come here more often? Would be great to have such a beautiful girl around."

His words didn't leave her cold, but Grace was still a bit annoyed by them. It sounded so trite, she was a bit disappointed by it. "Maybe you should have a better look around, I see plenty of beautiful girls." She held his glance for while, trying to tell him he better not told her she was more beautiful or anything cheesy like that. She wasn't used to words like these, but it was obvious he was getting back to his usual talk instead of moving on to a more serious conversation.

Her words made him think. Every other girl would've already jumped on him or one of his brothers. That meant he still needed to figure out how he could impress her. "Okay, that was a little... forget it." Juice just decided not to flirt anymore. Instead, he wanted to find out more about her, maybe that would be easier. "So, I heard your dad is the new minister. Sounds... interesting. You already know what you're going to do? Any jobs in sight?" he asked, hoping this wouldn't be too private. 

Grace quietly chuckled because he seemed to understand why she hadn't liked his comment. It had probably been a natural response, but she liked it better when he thought about his words. "Now we're going somewhere." She winked before she noticed what she was doing, and she felt her cheeks blush. Was she really flirting herself now? She couldn't remember she had ever flirted with anyone. Quickly she recovered from it, before he would notice this wasn't her at all. "I don't know what kind of job I want to do. I started studying history last year, but it wasn't what I expected, and I quit." She took a sip from the beer, which still didn't taste great and continued: "Two years ago I did some volunteer work in Africa for a few weeks, where we were building and helping out in a orphanage. It was so heart breaking to see all those poor kids without families, homes or a future and I don't know... Their faces haunt me ever since and I want to go back, to make a difference in their lives." She smiled sadly. "So I plan to find a job here, so I can save money do to volunteer work for a few months." She smiled at him. "And with what's left of it, I can make their future a little better."

Juice looked at the girl in surprise. Now it was a sure thing that Grace was completely different than any girl he knew ‒ and he started to like that. He could see how passionate she was about helping people in need. "That sounds interesting. I mean, you saw more of the world and even helped people. It must be hard to see that they have nothing expect their family." Sure, he realized that the people here all had a good life and others were happy when they got a little food and water. But it was still different. "I like your plan. Helping people and all that." 


	5. Chapter 5

As Happy saw a conversation unfold between Juice and Grace, he shoved his attention to Faye. He always found it hard to talk to her, to be close to her, since she reminded him so much of her mother. Sometimes her eyes turned into that of the woman he had killed, looking begging at him, desperately. Faye didn't know what he had done and there was no doubt she attributed his distance to his distant nature. Sometimes he dreaded that his behavior would make him stand out, so that he forced himself into a conversation with her. As he was doing now. "Where did you pick her up?" he asked, glad he had found a safe topic.

Faye looked up at Happy and tried to hide her nervousness as good as she could. She often had the feeling that Happy didn't really want to talk to her, but when they talked they sometimes had great conversations. However, such moments were always followed by one or two days of silence between them. "She's our new neighbor. Her dad is the new minister."  She shrugged and bit her lip. "I thought she could need a little fun, seems like she doesn't really know anyone here yet." She played nervously with a strand of her hair and looked around. "Where's your new toy? Rowena... right? Always forget her name." Faye didn't see her around, not yet. Hopefully she wouldn't come.

Grace was the daughter of the minister? Happy's eyes wandered to the girl again and he smirked. No wonder she felt uncomfortable. He wanted to ask why she had thought bringing her to a biker club had been a good idea, but he noted the girl was still talking to his brother and their was a hesitant, sweet smile around her lips. Well, if there was anyone who knew how to smooth things over, it was Juice. He turned his attention back to Faye. It took a few seconds before he realized what she was asking. The question was so out of the blue he frowned. Why the hell would she even start talking about a croweater? "Why you ask that?" 

Faye tensed at Happy's grunt and shrugged her shoulders lightly. "Just wanted to ask... that's all." Damn, she should keep her mouth shut sometimes. Her eyes finally met his after she had the courage to look at him directly. Ugh, those eyes gave her goosebumps. "Just forget that I asked, please." 

Happy scratched his neck, not knowing what to answer. Why the hell did she care who he was fucking? Even if there was some fight between her and Rowena he didn't know about, he couldn't think of a reason why she would have a problem with the fact that he was sleeping with her. 

He took a drink from one of the prospects, glad he had something to do, and glanced at Juice and the girl again, who had a more fun conversation than they had. He liked Faye, he really did, and she was so easygoing with everyone he just didn't understand why all their conversations felt so forced and strained. He suppressed a sigh, but her question didn't leave his mind. "You got a problem with Rowena?" he asked. Not on a mocking tone, rather genuinely curious. He wasn't the type of guy forgetting about conversations, he rather commented on the subject until it was bothering him no longer.

Faye just wanted to slap herself for even asking him. Why couldn't she just relax when he was around? It was almost obvious that she really liked him. But maybe he thought the complete opposite. Faye turned the beer bottle in her hand, looking at it if it was the most interesting thing in the room. "I just don't like her much, that's all. And it seems you spend more time with her than with anyone else. Just don't want you to get disappointed in the end." 

Faye hated herself. Really? That was her response? God, this was even worse than an awkward silence. 

Happy had never thought someone would notice which croweaters he favored, and especially not Faye. What made him cringe even more, was the fact that she was afraid that such a slut would be able to disappoint him. He shrugged. "If she's not satisfying enough anymore, I just get myself another one." 

Faye kept biting her lip. His sentence hurt, it really did. But what did she expect? If he wasn't satisfied anymore then he'd just get himself another croweater. If she wouldn't have feelings for him it wouldn't bother her at all. "Yeah, right!" she nodded, trying to smile at him. She looked over at Juice and Grace and they were fine so it wouldn't be a problem if Faye would leave for a few minutes. "Wanna take a smoke outside?" she asked Happy, looking up at him again. 

Happy nodded. There was no doubt she found the direction of this conversation strange too.   

Quickly Faye got up and looked over at Grace. "Hey, I'm outside. If you need anything just look for me or my mom." Hopefully Grace felt at least a little more comfortable now, but she doubted that. She put her beer aside and went outside with Happy, sitting down on a bench. "Sorry again for that stupid question. I have no idea what's going on with me." This time she gave him a honest smile, not a forced one. 

Happy didn't know that either. He took a long drag from his cigarette, staring in the distance. "Your mom was a croweater, right?" He didn't know why he brought that up. Maybe because he wanted to figure out why it was bothering her. Maybe she disliked all croweaters because her own mother had been a whore.

Faye looked up at him immediately as Happy mentioned her mother. That never happened before. She was the one who always started talking about her, but never anyone else. "Yeah, that's what dad and everyone else told me. I don't really remember her." With a sigh she lit her cigarette and took a drag. "Why does no one talk about her, Happy? Was she that bad or what is it?" 

Happy shrugged. "We never talk much about Croweaters, right?" Even though she had became an old lady eventually, everyone seemed to have forgotten about that since Gemma and Clay were a thing. "I was just done prospecting when she died, I didn't know much about her." There was a lump in his throat when the guilt started to eat him once more. Contrary to his brothers, he felt obliged to talk about the woman with her daughter.

"I know, but she's still my real mom, you know? That's kinda different. I'd love to know more about her," she sighed, playing with a strand of hair as she always did when she was thinking. Of course, she saw Gemma as her mother and loved her like a real mom; maybe they were afraid that would change when she found out more about her biological mother. "But you knew her. I bet she was beautiful... and nice." That was at least what she wanted to believe. "Thanks for the answer." 

His answer didn't help her to find out more, but at least he hadn't ignored her questions. At the moment it felt easier to talk to him, which felt good. 

Happy nodded, content the subject was done. He looked over his shoulder to watch Grace, who was still talking to Juice. "She nice? Surprised to see the pastor's daughter here."

Faye also looked over to Grace and Juice again. "She is. I bet her parents don't know what kind of party she is right now. But I think she kinda likes it here." She nodded and stood up, putting out her cigarette on the ground. "And I'm sure everyone's happy that I brought her here."  

Happy smirked. "It gives us at least something new to look at."

Faye swallowed softly, trying to relax. Hopefully he wouldn't want her, too. But Grace now knew that she liked Happy so there was a chance she'd stay away from him. "Yeah, of course that's what you guys think!" 

She laughed briefly, only to hide the jealousy.


	6. Chapter 6

Grace raked a hand through her long, blonde curls and smiled again. He smiled back at her and there was a nervous feeling in her stomach. She liked the way his eyes lit up and the way he looked at her when she was talking. It felt like he was seeing  _her_ now, instead of potential company to spend the night with. "What does a normal day in your life look like?" she asked. "Are you a mechanic?" She glanced at his hands, which weren't covered with smudge. There were many gold rings on them, lots of skulls, which reminded her of the fact he wasn't a God fearing person at all. She however was glad he wasn't teasing her with the fact that her father was a church leader, as had happened often in her hometown.

Juice couldn't stop looking at her, especially not as she ran her fingers through her blonde curls ‒ but he made sure he wouldn't stare. He almost felt bad that he wanted to get into her pants before. That kinda changed. Sure, she was hot and beautiful but he wanted to know more of her and her life. It had to mean something that he got nervous talking to her. Juice smirked briefly, taking a sip of his beer. "Yeah. But most of the time I'm sitting in front of my laptop, searching for... stuff. Nothing interesting at all, but part of my job," he explained. Again it wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth. "And Faye just asked you to come here?" Now his usual smile came back.

It gave Grace a warm feeling that he kept the conversation going now they had talked a bit. "I was helping to unload the moving truck when she came by and asked if she could help. So we talked a bit and then she invited me over." She hesitated, it felt too early to admit she was glad she had gone to this place. The night had just begun and even though Juice was nice, she didn't know what else to expect from tonight. "I really like her, she's very friendly."

"Yeah she is, and so are you. You're probably going to have a great friendship." He chuckled softly but really thought that the two girls could become good friends.

The prospect of having a good friend close by filled her heart with warmth. "I really hope so," she admitted. "Leaving my friends behind wasn't easy, you know. I know how that goes. We will visit each other one or twice a year and in the end we will forget about each other." She smiled again, raising the new glass as a matter of saying thank you quietly. "But I'm grateful I have talked to each least three nice people today. I never expected that."

"It always goes like that. There are a few exceptions but mostly you never hear of them again. But maybe it's different with your old friends. And if not, I'm sure you'll find enough new friends here." She was a great girl. If she wasn't super shy she'd probably find many people here. "See, almost everyone's nice in this town." He grinned. Of course, there were enough black sheep in Charming, but also great people.

Grace was glad he was honest to her, instead of smoothing things over and letting her believe everything would turn out well with her friends.   

* * *

Grace had attracted the attention of the prospects too. Rat was a bit jealous of Juice, who was talking to her since she had entered the building. Ever since he was prospecting, he was looking for a girl to become his old lady, but most Croweaters hadn't much more to offer than sex. He didn't want a whore, he wanted someone sweet, someone classy and someone beautiful. And Grace was all of them. 

"You want her?" Miles asked next to him, who must have caught him staring. 

"You don't?" He replied with a raised eyebrow. 

"Hell yeah." He smirked. "I would know what to with her." 

"What's that?" He scoffed. 

Miles didn't elaborate on the subject, but asked: "Why don't we take a bet. See who gets her in bed first." 

Rat looked up in surprise. "You ain't afraid to ruin your chances with... you know..." He said, obviously moving his eyes to Faye, who he could see right through the window. He knew his friend had a crush on her ever since the day he had seen her. Something the boy hated, since it was the President's daughter and the most forbidden fruit in whole Charming. 

Miles gave him a warning glare and then shrugged. "You in? Fifty bugs." 

"Fine." Winning from Miles wouldn't be that hard, he was an idiot around girls. 

"You're in too?" Miles asked Sack, as he handed them a drink. 

"With what?" 

"The first one banging that new girl." 

Sack glanced at the bar. "You think you can beat Juice?" 

"Yeah, they talk for what, half an hour now and he doesn't even touch her. I can do better." 

Sack chuckled. "In your dreams." 

"You're in or not?" 

The boy shrugged his shoulders. "Fine by me. I wouldn't mind to win." 

Rat didn't like the idea there would be so much competition, but if he kept it decent, she might just pick him over his friends.

* * *

Faye had seen how Miles, Rat and even Half Sack looked over to Grace. The expression on their faces showed her that they planned something ‒ and she had a good idea of what it was. "Ah shit, excuse me," she said to Happy, hating the fact she had to leave him for those idiots. Well, they were actually pretty cool and nice, but sometimes they acted stupid when it came to women and she had the feeling she could better keep Grace away from them. With a sigh, she walked over to the three and crossed her arms. "Leave that girl alone, okay? She's not like them." Faye pointed at a few Croweaters. Even though that was probably the reason they wanted her.

"Oh we know," Rat smirked. "We just want to give her a warm welcome. Nothing wrong about that, right?" 

"Those idiots took a bet who will sleep with her first," Half Sack said.

Rat turned his head to the side. "You're one of those idiots too, idiot." Shrugging, he looked at the girl. "You're joining us too? Fifty bugs. Or aren't you into girls?"

Faye frowned and wasn't surprised at all with that answer. "You guys really are idiots. Aren't there enough girls?" Faye chuckled as they asked her if she wanted to join as well. However, it wasn't even that stupid to say yes. No, she didn't want to get into Grace's pants, but she wouldn't be the first girl for Faye. "You know what? I'm in." Maybe she could 'save' Grace from these idiots. 

Half Sack chuckled and handed them another beer as the bottles were empty. "That will be fun. Let's see if she's more into guys or girls," he said, grinning. "Maybe some more will join, then it's harder for you two idiots."

* * *

Juice looked over for a moment and caught the prospects looking over to them. He was sure they talked about Grace, he could see that on their faces. For a moment he glared at them, hoping they hadn't any stupid idea in mind. But knowing Miles, he probably had. That's why he stood up and looked at Grace again. "Want me to show you around and get some fresh air?" he asked with a charming smile, holding out his hand to the blonde girl.

His question shook her up a bit. Sure, she wanted to be shown around and to be honest she craved for bit of fresh air, but were there no different expectations? She stared at the hand he was holding out to her. Suddenly the embarrassment was back. She had seen how his friends treated the other women, they were constantly holding hands, whispering, tugging hair behind their ears, wrapping arms around or just brutally laying their hands on their asses. Part of her really wanted to hold his hand, but not if it meant nothing, not if he saw her not any different from all the other girls. And if she allowed this, what would be his next move and when would it stop? "Yeah sure," she said, lifting up her drink, taking a sip and using it as an excuse not to take his hand.

Juice noticed that Grace struggled a little. As she took her drink, he put his hand into his pocket. It was okay for him, maybe she still thought that he was just like everyone else here. Well, he kinda was, but he didn't want to try to get her in bed anymore, not yet and not so soon. He gave her a smile and went outside with her, taking a deep breath before he lit a cigarette. "You smoke?" He held out his pack of cigarettes to her, although he could already guess the answer.

Grace shook her head. Neither did she like people smoking around her, but she felt like a baby for mentioning that so she kept quiet. Her hands glided down her hips, instinctively touching for pockets that weren't there. She quickly glanced at Happy, who sat on a picknick table a bit away from them. He didn't saw her, his thoughts seemed miles away. She was shivering a bit, the night air was a bit cold and it had been warm in the crowded clubhouse.

Juice made sure that the smoke wouldn't blew into her direction, even though many others smoked too, even inside. Grace didn't say anything about it. His eyes followed her hands as they glided down her hips. Shit, even that looked hot. Then he also looked over at Happy for a moment, wondering where Faye was. Well, not his problem tonight. 

"You're freezing?" he asked, looking back at Grace. "We can go inside again, I don't mind!" It was clear he wanted her to feel comfortable around him, which was new to himself. 

 "Oh no, it's fine, I like the quiet," she assured him with a smile. "I can handle the cold."

For a moment he stood there, just looking at her, but then he nodded. "Okay, but if you wanna go inside, just tell me, okay?" Juice answered, looking at her a little curious. "How long will you stay?"

"What do you mean? Here?" 

"At the party. When do you have to get home?" He smiled at her and was curious if she had to leave early ‒ which she probably would. Her dad was the new minister; church stuff and all that. Of course he still had his daughter under control. 

Grace rubbed her arms uncomfortably. She was twenty years old and still her parents decided how late she had to go home, and Juice just knew that without knowing her. "I'll see," she answered vaguely. "When I feel tired. And you?" she asked with a little smirk.

"Okay," he nodded, taking another drag of his cigarette. "I sleep here. We have our own rooms. Well, most of us," he added, blowing out the smoke and smiling at her briefly.

"You don't have a house yourself?" she asked baffled.

He chuckled softly. "I have an apartment. But after parties or after a long day of work I decide to stay here. It's easier." And he kinda felt more comfortable around the club.

"Sounds smart," she said.   

* * *

Sack had noticed the girl had left the party together with Juice and chuckled. "I think you already lost, guys. Seems Juicy already beat you." 

Rat knew he could better forget about the girl if Juice was really interested in her; he was a full patched member and probably much more interesting than he or his friends. On the other hand; she was no Croweater and might not even be aware of the hierarchy of a motorclub. "You really think you can get into her pants?" he asked Faye. The thought alone turned him on, but he knew better than saying that out loud. "I mean, I heard she's a church girl. Don't they hate girl girl things?"

Faye licked her lips and laughed briefly. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can. Good luck, guys!" She winked at them and walked to the bar. 

 


	7. Chapter 7

A silence had fallen, but Juice hadn't decided to leave her alone. For a biker she found him incredibly sweet and she dreaded the moment he would go back to his friends. "So, you were going to show me around, right? What's here to see?" She looked around and saw the motorcycles. "Which bike is yours?"

Juice motioned her to follow him and led her to his bike. "That's mine. Have you ever been on a bike before?" 

Grace let her hand slip across the cold metal. "I never even touched a Harley before," she admitted. "It's beautiful." She always looked over her shoulder as such a shiny bike passed by, she thought everyone secretly wanted to ride such a thing one day.

He shoved his hands into his pockets as he watched her. His eyes wandered across her face, then to her hand as she touched the metal. "Really? You missed something!" Juice was almost shocked, she definitely needed a little fun in her life. "Maybe I can give you a ride some time."

Her lips curled into a smile as she saw the bewilderment on his face. "I would like that, if you don't ride too fast." She wondered what her father would do if he found out. She really enjoyed Juice's company but she knew she would start a war at home if he ever showed up at her door.

"Don't worry about that. You don't have to drive fast to enjoy a ride on a Harley." He winked and leaned against the bike. Did she really said yes? Juice had to admit that he really liked it. "Just tell me when and I'm gonna pick you up."

There was something she really liked about his attitude as he was leaning against his bike. It made her arms tingle as she imagined herself on his bike, her arms wrapped around him. She looked at the ink on his arms and head again, giving him this bad boy vibe that both scared and attracted her. "I don't know when. My parents will freak out if they find out some biker guy is going to take me for a ride."

"Okay, I'll give you my number later and you call me whenever you have time," he offered her. Sure, it would be cool to have her number too but he rather offered her to give her his number, otherwise it could seem like a bad pickup. "I'm a nice biker guy by the way," he winked and again he studied the girl briefly.

"I can see that," she grinned, his wink sending tinglings all over her body. Again her hand glided across the cold metal. When she looked up again, his face seemed closer and their eyes locked for a brief moment. She didn't know if she was the one who leaned more into him or that he was the one, but suddenly she felt the longing rise to kiss his lips. She wondered what a kiss with him would be like, if it would be sweet or more intense, more rough. He seemed to have both sides. 

Juice felt a strange sensation in his stomach. Something that he never felt. Either he kissed a woman or not, but Grace was different. Somehow, he wanted to offer her more than something meaningless. In spite of this, he leaned forward slightly and could almost feel her breathing on his skin, but he knew that he could mess it up with a hasty kiss  

Grace quickly turned her head away before he saw this as some kind of invitation to kiss her, even though her cheeks blushed. He wasn't even openly flirting with her and still he wrapped her effortlessly around his finger. She looked around. "So eh, is there anything to do here, except drinking?"

He breathed in a bit sharper as Grace moved away from him and cleared his throat. Why was he so reserved with her? He wanted to know badly how her lips would taste. "Uhm, can you play billiard? We have a pool table in the club. Or darts?" He didn't know what else to offer her. "Otherwise we could sit on the roof and talk..." He pointed at the roof.     

Grace lifted the corner of her mouth as she looked up to the roof and nudged his shoulder with hers. "Is there a hopeless romantic hidden deep inside this bad ass biker?" There surely was something romantic about talking somewhere on the roof with the stars right above them en even though she would love to do that, she didn't trust herself alone with him. They would never be a thing, they differed too much, and allowing hope was just stupid and hurtful. "The last time I held a cue I must have been a kid, so playing pool can be fun? If you let me win?" She stuck out her tongue, wondering why she felt so comfortable around a man she just met. "Plus, I came with Faye so it feels a bit weird to leave the party without her, you know."

"Well, everyone has a romantic side, right?" he asked with a grin. It was good that Grace seemed to relax a little more in his presence. Maybe she wasn't so out of place here ‒ or maybe he just wished for it. "Then it's time for you to take a cue in your hands again." This time, he didn't offer her his hand, he didn't want to be too intrusive. The first time Grace had been looking for a way out ‒ that  probably wouldn't be any different now. 

They headed inside and confiscated a pool table. Juice broke open the game and sank a ball immediately. With an apologetic smirk he looked at her, she felt immediately he was too competitive to let her win. She didn't mind, she could lose a hundred rounds; as long as she could look at that wide smile she would be happy. He squeezed his eyes a bit every time he laughed, making him look even cuter. Despite his tattoos, manly built and mohawk he certainly had a sweet and maybe even sensitive side. She wasn't the only one who looked at him, she caught various scantily dressed women looking at him, sometimes even in a desperate manner. She however was the only girl he was paying attention to, making her glow from top to toe.

Grace had just scored her first time when they got company. Two other men gathered around the table, and a third followed on a small distance. A man that was probably in his end twenties, swung an arm around her. "Looking good seeing you bending over, baby," he said with a smirk.

Grace felt her cheeks getting red, she hadn't thought for a minute about the fact that she was wearing a dress. The provoking way he looked at her, made her man up a bit. He was just testing her, trying to scare her. "Your mama never taught you to introduce yourself before touching a girl?" 

The grasp around her shoulder weakened, and a look of surprise crossed his face. He scratched his neck. "Yeah, you might be right," he said, taking away his arm. "I'm Miles." 

"Grace," she answered shortly, turning back to the game before she paid attention to the guys again. From the corner of her eyes she could see Juice smirk. 

"You two wanna do a match?" another brown haired man asked. "I'm Rat by the way." 

Rat. Happy. Juice. Were that really the best names they could think of? It even became worse when the third seemed to call himself Half Sack. 

Grace glanced at the clock, she had a little more than half an hour before she had to go. "Sure." Teaming up with Juice, they restarted the game. Adrian hadn't lied; these men really were womanizers. She never had gotten much male attention before, and it felt like she was catching up the past years now. It did make her feel uncomfortable a bit, but after a while it even started to get funny. Sometimes they were so clumsy or just rude she wondered if they ever had success with the ladies. She stayed close to Juice, and when he laid a hand on her hip after a while as if he wanted to show his friends she was his, she felt warmth bubble up. Loving his protective attitude without attacking them verbally, she briefly stroked his index finger with her thumb to let him know she was him grateful.

"You're not that bad in the game," Juice murmured with a playful grin against her ear, gently stroking his hand over her hip. Damn, even that simple move felt so good he wanted to feel more of her, but he had to wait. 

"You all just should pay more attention to the game than to me," she answered. Goosebumps had arisen across her arms because of his breathing on her skin and she was glad it was too dark for the others to notice. 

"So, you're a church girl, I heard?" Miles asked, who seemed to have gathered some courage again. His wide grin told her what he was going to ask her, so she was at least a bit prepared. "You're really still a virgin?" 

"I am," she shrugged. It wasn't something she was ashamed of. 

Juice froze for a moment as he heard Miles' question. Were they fuckin' serious right now? Something was so wrong here. What shocked him however even more, was Grace's answer. He had already been afraid that she would leave, but no, she didn't. Instead she was totally relaxed and gave a simple answer.   

"Why?" Miles asked her. "Aren't you curious?" 

"It seems you're the curious one here," she winked. "But I want to give myself to the man I will marry. So if sex is really the thing you're are interested in, you better try someone else. I'm not going to marry one of you."

"Come on, guys. Leave her alone," Juice stepped in. "Not even a croweater would marry one of you." He smirked briefly. 

"We just asked, nothing wrong with that," Half Sack answered with a casual grin. "Church girls have deep waters, you know!" he added as if he would know everything about them. 

Juice rolled his eyes. 

"Hey I was talking about you to," Grace smirked, giving him kiss on his cheek because she just wanted to feel his skin underneath her lips. She was a bit shocked by herself, wondering how strong that one drink had been. She wasn't used to alcohol, so that would explain why she could laugh about them so easily, and why Juice's hand on her hip still didn't bother her. 

Juice couldn't help that he had to grin like an idiot. His hand wandered from her hip to her back, pulling her a little closer. Her lips on his cheek had felt like heaven and he was so close to press his lips against hers ‒ but he didn't dare.  

"You ever dated a church girl?" Grace asked Half-Sack. "Or don't you guys date?"

"He probably never dated any girl," Juice whispered amused against her ear, stroking her skin with his lips. 

"No, but everyone know how church girls are..." Half Sack answered, but this time he hadn't that much self-confidence anymore. It seemed that Grace could make everyone around her nervous.

Grace's shoulder touched Juice's now he had pulled her a little closer and she felt her stomach twist. She barely knew the guy, but feeling his arm around her felt so good she just wanted to disappear in his arms. When he whispered in her ear, touching her skin with his lips, her mouth became dry. She wanted to ask him how many girls he had dated, but spared herself the answer. Just for tonight she was going to pretend he wasn't holding a girl this way every other night, even though she was sure he did. She moved her eyes to Half Sack again. "And how is that?" she asked, her eyes shining because it was just amazing to see him insecure now.

"I... uhm... I don't really know," Half Sack answered and he cleared his throat. Almost nervously, he rubbed the back of his neck. That was the moment he realized that he probably already lost the bet. "Just...forget it!" 

Juice's fingertips stroked the dress. It was a long but thin dress, so she definitely could feel his touch. Not directly on her skin, but still. He rested his free hand on her arm and stroked up and down in a gentle way. Heat rose in his body. He would love to stand next to her and touch her the rest of the night. 

Grace barely heard Half Sack's answer and just nodded a bit as Juice's fingers trailed up and down her arm. Her own fingertips were itching to touch his skin as well, but the way they were standing here now was already a step further than she had wanted to. There had never been a man who had touched her this way, and man, she wished they could stand here for the rest of the night. She glanced at the clock again, feeling disappointment washing over her. She turned her head to Juice, moving her lips closer to his ear. 

"I need to go," she said quietly, softly sighing because she didn't want to.  
  
  


.


	8. Chapter 8

Faye drank five little shots of whiskey before returning to Happy. "Sorry! Wanna dance or something?" she grinned lightly.  

Ever since Happy talked about Faye's mother, he felt a bit gloomy. He just wanted to go looking for a Croweater to enjoy himself with when Faye returned to him, a bit wobbly, not sober at all. He wrinkled his nose as he heard her question, he never danced and she should know that. Still the guilt was diving upon his heart again. He would never be able to refuse her anything, even though he would feel uncomfortable to dance with her in front of his brothers. "You really think I'm the best dancer around?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, still hoping to find a way out of the situation without hurting her.  

Faye knew that Happy wasn't a guy who liked to dance, at least she had never seen him dance before. However, her mood got better and she became bolder as well because of the alcohol. "Okay, got it, you don't want to dance. Then at least sit down with me at the bar and let's have a drink." She looked at him with her green eyes and smiled sweetly. She had to take advantage of her chances. Her hands slowly slid over his chest, enjoying the feel of his muscles right through the fabric. 

Happy's eyes widened as she suddenly moved her hands across his chest. "What are you doing?" he blurted out, too shocked to respond in a normal way. He had never seen her flirt with his brothers, and neither with him. He thought back to the way she had asked about the Croweater and felt a nagging feeling rise. Had she been jealous? He shoved away the thought. That was ridiculous. He was fifteen years older than she was. She was young and beautiful, there was nothing he could offer her. And hooking up with his president's daughter? No, he had no death wish.

Faye looked at Happy and shrugged slightly. "Nothing..." she said almost innocently, but she took her hands off his chest. She often wondered if he thought she was pretty, or maybe even hot. On the other hand, probably none of the boys would admit that because of her father. Slowly, she reached for his hand, sliding her fingers between his. Before he could say anything, she pulled him with her to the bar and ordered two whiskeys.

Happy felt relieved when she let go of his hand again. It had just felt wrong, the only times he had held a girl's hand was to drag them to his room and mostly he just grabbed their wrists. It gave him a fragile feeling, as if he opened up too much. As he drank from the whiskey, he looked around. Quite a crowd had surrounded Grace, he saw to his surprise. "Never thought the church girl would feel so comfortable around those shitheads."

Faye leaned against the bar and looked over to Grace. "Yeah, it's cool that she likes it here." Well, Faye thought that at least. "Those idiots made a bet. But none of them will get into her pants, I'm pretty sure about that," she chuckled. That was a sure thing. The only one who might get into her pants was Juice, but even that would take a lot of time. She looked at Happy again, biting her lip. "Please tell me you won't join the bet."

"Why?" he asked, grinning. "You think I would beat them all and spoil your new little friend?"

"No, because I don't want you to be disappointed after I won." She grinned briefly. "She probably never had experienced anything, especially not with a girl. It's way more exciting." Faye came a step closer after she finished the next glass of whiskey. "And she's not your type at all," she whispered in his ear.

Happy was surprised to hear Faye say those things, and her last words made it even worse. Was she really insinuating something or was he imagining things now? She confused him and he looked around to see if there was a way out. When he couldn't come up with a good excuse, he decided to buy two more drinks to ease his mind a bit. Even if she was trying to get into bed with him, there was no need to panic. He just had to ignore her sugared whispers.

Faye knew exactly what she was doing. It wasn't the alcohol. Sure, it gave her a better feeling, but she wanted to show Happy that she was just as good as a stupid croweater. Actually she was much more, but at the moment she acted just like them. Otherwise she would never have a chance with  Happy. She got herself another drink ‒ otherwise she wouldn't survive this night. 

"You've been on my mind a lot today. And it's only 11:30 pm." Faye cleared her throat and brushed some of her hair behind her ear, looking up at him. 

Happy got the impression she was messing with his head now. "Do you feel all right?" he asked, suddenly wondering if someone had dropped something in her glass. "I get worried, Faye. This is not you."

Faye just hated herself right now. Usually she was good at flirting, but with Happy she completely failed. She couldn't and didn't want to compare herself to one of the whores with whom he usually slept. "Yeah... probably the alcohol, I hadn't got anything to eat today," she said a little more softly, blushing.

"You haven't eaten all day?" he asked shocked. "Why's that?"

"Well, in the morning I wasn't really hungry and in the afternoon I didn't have time because I got to get some things with Jax," she explained, taking another sip. They had taken a break with Abel but Faye wasn't a big eater anyway.

"That's not healthy kid. Come, let's find a Croweater or prospect to get you some food." He grabbed her arm so she wouldn't object and dragged her along.

"It's okay, Hap, really," she said, but already a few seconds later the man dragged her along. "A prospect please." It was only a whisper but she really wasn't in the mood to talk to a croweater who could maybe end up in bed with Happy tonight.

The crowd was to noisy to hear her words, and he walked over to some Croweaters. Rowena was one of them, but Happy had already forgotten about Faye's words about the girl. "Hey, can you get her something to eat?" he asked. 

She briefly looked at Faye and nodded. "Sure baby. Whatever you want." She quickly pecked his lips before she went to the kitchen.    

Faye petrified when Rowena stood in front of her. Did it really had to be her? Sighing, she crossed her arms and pressed her nails into the inside of her palms. She felt the urge to choke Rowena with her own hands, especially when she pecked Happy's lips.  _Stupid Bitch,_ she thought, putting on a fake smile. 

"Thank you!" 

Inwardly it just hurt, because she knew that Rowena would be the one who would make Happy feel good tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

Rat liked her. She wasn't as shy as he had imagined and she knew how to defend herself, making his fellow prospects even look dumb. He believed she could be nice to have around, and she was really, really beautiful. Unfortunately, Juice seemed to have drawn that conclusion too. Ever since he and his friends had shown up around her, he held her and now he was even brushing the skin of her arm. There was no tension on her face, she clearly liked his attention. He thought back to what Faye had said; that she believed Juice would win. However, he didn't know about their bet, so there was a chance he would take things slow – too slow. Who knows what he could achieve if he pushed her a bit. She had to be at least twenty years old, so she had to be curious what it would feel like to have sex, right? The thought that he could be her first, made him swell. Yeah, he wanted her. And he wouldn't give up on her so soon. Juice was popular with the girls, there was no doubt he would lay in bed with another girl tonight or tomorrow.

Juice didn't even pay attention to the others anymore. The only person who got his attention right now was Grace. "You really have to go?" He looked at the clock and sighed, wishing he could make her stay. He touched her cheek with the back of his fingers, stroking it gently. God, her skin was so soft. "Want me to bring you home?" he asked and his eyes met hers. He had drank only two beers and wasn't even a bit tipsy, so that wouldn't be a problem. 

Her breathing faltered as he stroked her cheek. Without realizing, she closed her eyes for a while to fully enjoy his touch. When she opened them again, she looked right into his eyes and blushed a bit. Quickly she looked away from him, watching the clubhouse to see where Faye was. She was still with Happy and she didn't want to disturb them, it looked like they were enjoying each other's company. "I borrowed this dress from Faye," she answered. "I have to change clothes before I go home." A bit ashamed she bent her head. "They can't see me like this."

"Do you have your clothes with you? You can change in my room," he offered, even though he had no idea what the two girls had planned for tonight. 

"Eh yes," she answered. For some reason she had thought they were still at Faye's home, but she remembered now she had taken them with her. She felt stupid; she could have changed in the bathroom or something. "Thanks. I'll get my bag." She felt a bit awkward because everyone would notice she had dressed herself up for this party, but she had no choice. She grabbed her bag that she had left close to the entrance and walked back to Juice, looking a bit nervously at him. She wasn't afraid to enter his room, she trusted him, but still it felt like a big deal for entering his personal domain.

"There is also a bathroom in it," Juice told her as he opened the door for her and let her take the lead. 

Grace looked around curiously, she had never been in a man's bedroom before. Part of her expected to see clothes everywhere and she had even pictured some bra's here and there, but it was really organized and clean. She glanced at his bed and felt her cheeks blush as she could see herself on it with him, his lips on hers and his hand moving up underneath her dress. Ashamed by her sudden sinful thoughts, she no longer dared to look at him and she slipped through the only other door and started to change clothes.

Juice didn't really know what to do and stood there like a shy fifteen year old teenager, rubbing his neck. "Take your time," he said through the door.  The only thing in his mind right now, was how her body would look like. How it would be to touch her soft skin, her breasts, her ass. Shit, he had to stop with those thoughts. For a brief moment he thought about taking one of the croweaters to his room to distract himself later, but when he sat down on the bed he immediately imagined what it would be like if Grace would be the one lying under him, moaning his name against his lips. With a low growl, he put his face in his hands. What was this all about? Was it because she was so reserved ? Did all that made her so interesting? 

Even the bath room was clean, Grace noticed. She glanced at the shower, suddenly wondering how many girls had been there with him. "Stop torturing yourself," she muttered to herself. She liked Juice's company and she wished that they could become friends, but it was stupid to expect anything more. How would that ever work? She had seen some of his friends tonight, their noses deep in girl's cleavages and their hands on places that had made her blush. There was no doubt in her mind that Juice would have done that with her too if she had given him the chance, and maybe he would get his pleasure with a girl as soon as she had left.

As she was dressed again, she leaned forward to look into the mirror. The clothes she was wearing now were boring, barely revealing a shape of her body and even though that had always made her feel comfortable, it was now the other way around. She raked a hand through her blonde curls to make it look less messy, but it wasn't helping. Her arms and legs were covered with a thick fabric now, and there was a gnawing feeling as she realized she would no longer feel his fingers upon her skin or right through the thin fabric of her dress. It was for the best, she knew it, but still the desire to be touched by him arose and she couldn't stop it. She shoved away her thoughts, she no longer wanted to keep the guy waiting, and left the bath room, giving him an insecure smile.

When he heard the door, Juice raised his head and studied Grace. The outfit was the opposite of the dress, but she was still beautiful. "Not bad either," he said and he meant it. A weak smile formed on his lips as he stood up and walked over to her. 

Grace held her breath for a moment as he stood still in front of her, looking up to him hesitantly. She didn't know what to say or do, she just didn't want to leave. He was so sweet, all this time he was trying to make her feel comfortable and she was him immense grateful. Their eyes locked and heat spiraled through her body, descending to a place where she had never felt such a thing. She gasped quietly, her lips getting dry.

* * *

Happy couldn't keep his eyes off Rowena's ass as she walked away to get Faye some food, already imagining how she would bent before him tonight. As he noticed Faye caught him looking, he remembered her words again and awkwardly scratched his neck. "She's really easy-going," he said, hoping that would take the tension away. "You should hang out some day. Think you will get along well."

Faye closed her eyes briefly and swallowed the lump in her throat. The thought of how the two would fuck was just unbearable. But with Happy's suggestion, she was speechless for a moment. "I... uhm. I don't think that's a good idea." Almost desperately she was looking for the right words and she had to be careful that she wouldn't tell Happy why she hated Rowena so much. "It's okay if you want to hang out with her, I'll find some company." Faye leaned against the wall and couldn't even look at the man.

"Oh I don't mean now." He shrugged. "I'll see her later tonight anyway." He emptied his glass and put it on a table. "Thought, I dunno, maybe you want to have a female friend." He looked around. "For I really have no idea where your new friend is."

Faye looked up as Happy mentioned Grace, who wasn't there anymore as it seemed. "Oh, shit!" She looked around nervously. Had one of the boys managed to get into her pants? Or was Grace still with Juice? "Maybe I should go looking for her. It's already late." She remembered that Grace should go home soon.

Happy nodded, not really in the mood to look around to find the girl himself. "They were betting to get into her pants right?" He smirked. "I guess someone succeeded."  

Faye played nervously with her fingers. Actually, she wanted to keep an eye on Grace, always be near her. But then she discovered Rat, Miles and Half Sack. Almost relieved, she breathed out. "She's probably still with Juice. The idiots are still standing there." She wasn't worried about Juice, even though he was a man with needs too. "Looks like nobody's got a chance to fuck her," she said with a grin.

* * *

Rat had seen how Grace and Juice had walked to the dorm rooms and was a little shocked. He told his friends what he had seen and asked: "You really think he's already, you know, bangin' her?" He just couldn't imagine, she had sounded so steadfast. But Juice really was a lady-killer, and what else would they do? He was glad his brother hadn't joined the bet, but he still didn't like the idea of losing so easily.

Half Sack stood next to Rat with his beer in his hand and sighed bitterly. "Of course. Why else would she be in his room?" he asked, looking at Rat. "But at least the bet is still running."

"It is?" Miles asked. "It was about taking away her virginity, right? Well maybe they're just doing the foreplay." 

Rat rolled his eyes. "He would be pretty dumb if he would leave it at that. Maybe we should disturb them." He knew Juice would probably kill him, but hey, he could really use some money.

Half Sack looked back and forth between the two. "Do you really want to disturb the two? Man, Juice will tear off both of your heads. Then you can forget about the money!"

"We're fucked anyway if he's the one fucking her first," Miles answered. "Maybe it should be something not so obvious. Pulling the fire alarm or somethin'." He smirked.

Half Sack shook his head and couldn't believe how far these idiots wanted to go, just to have their fun. Sure, Grace was hot and a forbidden fruit, but this was really idiotic. "Then do that, I bet it won't get you any further," he said with a laugh and he got himself another beer.    

* * *

  
When Juice stood in front of her, he just couldn't help it and stroked her cheek again, then he brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. All he wanted to do was press his lips against hers ‒ and he was really close to do it. "Do you really have to go?" he asked softly, his breathing brushing her skin. His forehead leaned against hers. Maybe he still had the chance to spend at least a few more minutes with her. This strange but good feeling in his stomach wouldn't go away, he knew that. 

Grace's heart pounded in her chest. His forehead was resting against hers, just another sweet gesture. His scent invaded her nostrils, making her feel dizzy. His lips were so close that she could feel his breathing, which made all the butterflies in her stomach dance. She wanted to kiss him. With everything she was, she wanted to kiss him. "I don't want to leave," she admitted, swallowing a sudden lump in her throat. 

"Then stay," he whispered against her lips and he gently took her face in his hands. His thumbs stroked across her cheeks.  

She looked into his brown eyes, saw the honesty in it. "You scare me, Juice," she said quietly, completely opening up. Her voice was shaky.

"Why?" he asked, looking directly into her beautiful eyes without taking distance. Instead he touched her lips with his in the most gentle way.   

Grace had the feeling her chest would explode as his lips stroked hers. They were warm and soft and she closed her eyes. How could this feel so good while knowing she had to stop this? His fingers on her face seemed to pull away all her hesitation, but still her last words drifted through her mind. She puckered her lips a bit, pressing two sweet kisses against his bottom lip. Looking up to him again, she felt her heart hammering even more frantically. She lifted her hand, stroking his cheek too. "Because of this," she whispered, once more kissing his lips without continuing to a real kiss. Her legs felt shaky, a shiver crept down her spine. She looked up to him again, a little lost in those beautiful eyes. "I want this so badly it scares me. But I see no future for us. No real future."

Juice felt his heartbeat stronger than ever. Too much he enjoyed the feeling of having Grace close. For a moment he closed his eyes and enjoyed feeling her breath on his skin, inhaling her sweet scent. "There is no reason to be scared. Let yourself fall, and we'll see where it leads us," he whispered in a low voice, laying a hand on her back. Gently, he pulled her close to him so he could feel her body better. 

His answer disappointed her, making her feel like her feelings and wishes were no big deal. Seeing where it would lead them, wasn't her way of life. She wanted all or nothing, and it was dumb to think he would give her all after they just met. She had no expectations, but she didn't want to roll with it either. However, as he pulled her closer so that they were standing body to body, she didn't object. She just wanted to enjoy his warmth and body pressure a few more seconds, before she had to break away.  

"But if you're right, at least I want to know what it feels like." Without thinking much longer, Juice put his lips back on hers. This time he kissed her right and let his tongue slide between her lips. It felt like everything inside him was exploding, something he had never felt before. After a few seconds, he broke away from Grace ‒ but only because he was afraid he really would scare her too much. "Sorry, had to", he said, clearing his throat awkwardly. Even he blushed a bit now. 

Suddenly his lips had been on hers again, and she had felt his tongue slip inside. She had not the slightest clue what to do with it, even though it called up an amazing feeling when he gently stroked her tongue. Just a few seconds later the kiss was over, even before she thoroughly realized they had been kissing. Sort of. He looked at her again, and hearing his apology made her tense. 

 _He had to?_  What was that suppose to mean? He just wanted his reward for hanging out with her all night? She stepped back from him, staring at him in disbelief. Physical contact, was that all that had been on his mind? She had told him her feelings scared her and that she saw no future for them, but he had kissed her nonetheless, claiming as much as he could get? 

"Right," she said shortly, feeling incredibly dumb. "So you got what you wanted. Hope you're happy now..." She turned around. 

Juice tried to stay relaxed, but now that he was going through his own words again, he realized how stupid that must have sounded. Damn, he could have chosen so many other words, instead, only that came out of his mouth. Her words hit him like a slap in the face, making him realize just how stupid his choice of words was. "Grace, no! I didn't mean to ‒"

He couldn't say more because the fire alarm went off.


	10. Chapter 10

Faye looked at Rowena in a condescending way as she came back with the food.

"Here, enjoy it," Rowena winked and she kissed Happy briefly. "See you later?" she asked with a seductive undertone, shoving her hand underneath his shirt.

Before Happy could answer, the alarm blasted. He looked around and took a deep breath, not seeing or smelling smoke. "Go outside," he told both girls. "Probably just a drunk ass foolin' around, I'ma check it out."

Faye jumped a little as she heard the alarm and put her plate aside. She looked at Happy and hesitated a second, but then nodded. "Okay, come on," she said to Rowena, and as much as she hated to stand next to her, the both left the clubhouse together. 

"I saw how you looked at him," Rowena said to Faye as soon as they were outside, crossing her arms. 

"Save your breath. He doesn't want my pussy," Faye answered annoyed.

* * *

Rat had giggled like a school girl as he had pushed the fire alarm button and disappeared in the crowd again, bumping his shoulder against Miles. Some people around them started to panic, but most just passed him because he wasn't sober at all. His eyes were focused on the corridor leading to the dorm rooms, and he was surprised to see Grace after a few seconds, still clothed, Juice only a few steps behind her. "Well he doesn't look very happy," Rat grinned. "Bet he was still trying to get to second base."

* * *

Grace pushed herself through the crowd. Some people were screaming, probably so drunk they were imagining things. The alarm was shut off, and a big man shouted it was a false alarm. Grace took a deep breath and looked around to see where Faye was, but she couldn't find her friend.

Faye rolled her eyes as she heard someone yell that it was false alarm. "Great," she mumbled under her breath, looking around and walking through the crowd. "Grace!" she called out as she saw someone with blonde curly hair and she pushed some people gently aside. "Where were you? I didn't see you anymore," Faye asked as she stood in front of her new friend. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she answered shortly, looking at the clock again. "But I really need to go now, I'm too late. Can you get your mom?" 

Faye nodded and disappeared into the crowd while Grace waited impatiently. It didn't take long before someone swung an arm around her shoulder. 

"Hey beauty. Lemme judge if you're a good kisser." 

It was one of the guys she had played pool with, but she didn't remember his name. Annoyed she pushed him away with her elbow, trying not to attract too much attention. "Go find yourself someone else, I'm not interested," she told him fiercely, where after he rubbed his chest where she had hooked him, looking at her with eyes glazing over. She tried to control her breathing, tried not to panic, but suddenly she didn't feel comfortable around here at all and it just felt like Juice had whispered lies in her ears the whole night, making her blind for all the drunken, boundless people around her who clearly lacked morals.

* * *

Faye went inside and searched for Gemma. After she found her mom, she told her that Grace had to go. 

"I'll bring her home. You stay here?" Gemma asked, stroking her daughter's cheek. 

"Yeah, I stay here. See you later, mom," Faye answered, looking around for Happy. Her face tensed as she saw Rowena had already found him. Sighing, Faye sat down at the bar and got herself a few more drinks.  

* * *

Juice had lost sight of Grace, but only a few minutes later he found her, and not just her. "Leave her alone!" he growled at Miles, pretty pissed. Not just because of him, he was also mad at himself. "Grace, can we... talk ? I didn't mean to be rude or something," Juice told her, almost looking desperately at the beautiful girl. What could he do to make her feel better again? He wanted her to believe him ‒ believe that he hadn't used her. 

"No, I'm going home." She looked over his shoulder and saw Faye taking a seat behind the bar. A moment later her eye caught Gemma, who laid a hand on her shoulder. 

"Ready to go, sweetheart?" 

Once more she looked at Juice. She saw the regret on his face, making her heart squeeze painfully. With a sigh she turned to the woman. "Give me a minute." 

"Sure baby, I'll wait outside." 

Grace turned back to Juice. The longing to be hold by him arose again, despite his actions, and she hated herself for it. For a moment she contemplated to talk here, but she knew they would have to shout. With her head she motioned him to follow her, which he did, his hands shoved into his pockets. 

As soon as they were outside, she sighed. "Look. I don't want us to leave in the way we just did." She looked into his eyes, searching for words. "I really enjoyed the night, Juice, despite the ending. So thank you for that." Part of her wanted to raise her hand, wanted to touch his face and hug him, but she didn't.

Juice was happy that she still gave him the chance to say something. "I'm really sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. It was wrong and it won't happen again..." he answered, grabbing one of her hands, stroking the back of it. "I enjoyed the evening too. If you still want to hang out some time, just call me. It's up to you if you want to see me again." He wanted to hug her so badly, but he didn't dare. If he'd mess it up again, Grace probably wouldn't give him another chance to explain himself.

Somewhere deep inside he had to know he hadn't done anything wrong, for it had been obviously she liked him. It made Grace doubt his words, it felt like he was just trying to smooth things over, to tell her what he thought she wanted to hear. She couldn't blame him, he had behaved himself and part of her had wanted to kiss him, just not so sudden after she had opened up to him. They just weren't made for each other. She could better accept that, before her feelings for him would increase. "I don't think we should do that," she said quietly. 

Juice had never been in such a situation before and he had no idea what he could say except what he felt. And he felt bad. A heavy feeling rose in his chest. "But..." he started but he shook his head. "Okay, if that's what you want. You still can call me anytime."   

She shortly laid a hand on his hip and kissed his cheek, cementing the sense of feeling his skin under her lips to her memory. "Goodbye Juice." She smiled a bit sadly, feeling a pang in her chest as she turned away from him.

Juice took a deep breath as Grace kissed his cheek. He could really slap himself in the face right now. "Bye Grace." 

He noticed her sad smile, his smile wasn't any different. He watched her leave, not moving forward or anything ‒ he just watched her. 

Gemma looked at the girl and gave her a smile. "Come on, sweetheart. I'm sure your parents are already waiting ," she said and  she got into her car.

Grace stared out of the window as they headed home. She could still feel his touches upon her arm, her hip, her cheek. If she closed her eyes she could even feel the pressure of his lips against hers, and all she wanted now was going back to him and burying herself in his arms. 

"Did you enjoy tonight, sweetheart?" Gemma asked, briefly looking over her before she aimed her eyes on the road again. 

"I did," she said softly, her thoughts and heart still with Juice. 

"You can stop by any time you want," the woman smiled. "If you ever need help with something; just let us know." 

Grace smiled lightly, glad for the offer. She however doubted she would ever go back to the clubhouse. Seeing Juice again would surely mess with her head, she could better forget about him. 

"Juice is a sweet guy. I believe I saw some sparks between you two, am I right? He could really use a sweet girl like you." 

Grace felt her cheeks glow. There had never been an adult speaking so openly to her about her love life. "I don't think we're meant to be," she sighed, more to herself than to Gemma.

The woman patted her knee. "I've never seen him forget about everyone else in the clubhouse before. That has to mean something, right?" She winked. 

Grace was happy as they stopped in front of the house, glad she could escape from this even more confusion conversation. "Thank you for the lift, Gemma," she said politely, stepping out of the car. "Sleep well." 

"You too, baby. See you soon!" 

Grace nodded, waved her hand and crossed the front yard to reach the door. She realized that she had no key of her house. Luckily the light was still on, although she couldn't imagine her parents would go to bed before she was home. She was ten minutes later than planned, but as her mother opened the door she didn't mention it. 

"You had a good time?" she asked curiously. 

She nodded. "I met some really nice people." She smiled, but she couldn't expel the sadness fully. "But I'm tired now, I'm going up." 

"Sure." Her mother gave her a kiss and Grace went upstairs and entered her new room that was filled with boxes. Luckily the bed was made-up, she could just move into it. She felt too tired to look for her pajamas. It was warm in her room anyway so she took off everything but her panties and disappeared underneath the blankets. Sighing, she turned on her side, reflexively cupping her right breast with her hand. For a moment she stroked her own skin, imagining it was Juice. 

A warm glow spread through her body, making her breathing falter. As she realized what she was doing, she pulled back her hand, staring with wide eyes in the distance. That was so wrong, so so wrong! She closed her eyes and whispered a little prayer, asking for forgiveness and for His help to make her feelings for the man she just met go away.


	11. Chapter 11

Faye now had her fifth drink and she already had some before. She felt dizzy but she didn't really care about it. 

"No, you won't get another one, you had enough, Faye," Kip said firmly, who stood behind the bar. 

"I'm not fifteen years old anymore, Kip," she huffed, but Kip stayed determined and shook his head. "Asshole," was all she said before she disappeared in the bathroom. Actually, she never acted like a bitch but Rowena really got on her nerves today. Maybe she should tell Happy the truth. 

She decided to go outside. Happy was still sitting and drinking with the guys. Some had buried their heads between the legs of some Croweaters ‒ which was nothing new. As she walked outside, she climbed up the ladder leading to the roof. Maybe not the smartest idea when you were drunk, but right now it didn't matter to her. However, she had not expected that Juice was also up there. 

"Hey, why aren't you with the others?" she asked as she sat down next to him, taking his cigarette and taking a few drags. 

Juice shrugged. "Dunno." 

Faye raised an eyebrow and handed the cigarette back to him. "Is it because of Grace? What happened?" she asked sensitively, laying her head on his shoulder. 

"I messed up. But maybe she'll give me a chance to explain myself some day. Or better not, otherwise I'll screw it up again." Juice sighed softly. 

Faye felt sorry for him. However, it was difficult to impress Grace, after all they were too different. "I can talk to her tomorrow," she offered him, but he looked a bit skeptical. 

"What are you doing out here alone? Haven't you been with Happy?" he quickly changed the subject, putting an arm around Faye's shoulder. 

The redhead bit her lower lip and shook her head. "Better if I'm not around. I'm just embarrassing anyway. Besides, he only has eyes for Rowena. I just can't stand her. Every time she touches him I want to slap her." With Juice she could talk about anything, after all, the two were good friends for ages. 

"Why don't you just tell him the truth? How long do you have feelings for him? Over a year, right?" Juice looked at Faye.

She sighed bitterly. "And then what ? He doesn't want me. Besides, no one would start something with the daughter of the president. And Rowena is in the way." Every now and then she ran her hands across her thighs, as she usually did when she was thoughtful or nervous. "God, why do I have to love this guy?" 

"I'll take care of Rowena if you want. Talk to him, Faye. You only torture yourself."

Juice was right, she only tortured herself. "You'd do that? I just need this night with him." She smiled briefly at her friend and was thankful to have him. 

"Yeah sure. And there she already is," Juice mumbled as he looked down and saw Rowena with another croweater taking a smoke outside. Damn, she was even more drunk than Faye. "This will be easy. But! If I do that, you promise me to talk to him, understand?" Juice said firmly, putting two fingers under Faye's chin, looking into her eyes. 

"I promise! Thank you, Juice, it really helps." She kissed his cheek and waited until Juice left to talk to Rowena. It took a while, but only a few minutes later they both disappeared inside.

* * *

The party started to get boring and Happy looked around to see if Rowena was around. She was nowhere to been seen, which was annoying him. He wasn't going to look for her, nor was he in the mood to pick another random girl. She would probably stop by later tonight, so he decided to wait for her in his room. A few minutes later he undressed himself and went into bed. Staring at the ceiling, his eyes started to droop quickly and it didn't take long before he fell asleep.

* * *

After another cigarette Faye decided to go back inside. It wasn't that cold but she was still freezing a little. Once inside, she noticed that Happy wasn't there anymore. Well, this was her chance. The girl went to the dorms, to Happy's room, and carefully opened and closed the door behind her. Her heartbeat felt heavy, but she wanted to feel his body next to hers. She took off her shoes, also her dress but she still wore her underwear. Slowly, she crawled into the bed and snuggled up to Happy. God, that felt so good.

"There you are," Happy answered sleepily. In the background he could still hear the music, the party wasn't over yet. Sounds never woke him, but the touch of a woman... He turned to his side, moving his hand across the curves of her side. He was a bit surprised to see she was still wearing a bra, but he always liked to get them off anyway. He felt her shiver underneath his touches, causing a grin on his face.

Faye rolled her eyes for a moment. Even drunk she knew who he meant. Hopefully she could change his mind, she wasn't that bad at all in bed. A soft moan left her lips as she felt his touch. It was the best feeling she ever felt. Without hesitation she let one hand glide across his chest and down to his stomach. Feeling his muscles and his skin gave her goosebumps.

Happy's hand moved to the clasp on her bra and opened it. Before he could rip something she removed the piece of clothe. Eagerly his hands slid to her breasts, kneading them with more passion now the sleep was gliding off him. They felt different than he remembered, smaller, and now he thought about it, her scent was different too. Recognizable nonetheless, so it surely was someone with whom he had slept before. He didn't care too much about it, still enjoying the feeling of warm skin underneath his hands and he rolled over to be on top of her. He never was much into foreplay, he rather had it his way a bit more roughly. Briefly he overlooked her face. The dark was concealing most of it, but still there was some hesitation to move on without knowing why.

The moment he touched her breasts made Faye moan softly again. Her nipples hardened immediately at his touch. Should she say something? Tell him that it was her? No, that would destroy everything. The girl wrapped one of her legs around his waist as soon as Happy was on top of her. She put her hand on his neck and pressed her lips against his ‒ hopefully he wouldn't notice... or wouldn't stop anyway if he would find out who was underneath him.

Her lips were soft and a bit hesitating, which he hadn't experienced often. The girls who were usually sleeping here knew he wanted only one thing from them. The way she moaned did something to him, it didn't sound excessive at all. He lifted his head a bit more to study her face, but it was still too dark. Again she tried to kiss him, while he never was much into kissing and most Croweaters knew that. Was she a new one? He kept his distance a bit more, even though his hand still cupped her breast, waiting for something without knowing what exactly. "Who told you to come here?" he asked with a deep voice. Something told him it wasn't Rowena who had sent him this substitute.

Faye froze for a moment. She had to say something ‒  and Happy would recognize her voice immediately. Her hand was still on his neck, the other one rested on his back. "No one." It was only a whisper but it was so quiet in the room that he definitely had to hear her. Before he could answer, her lips moved from his chin down to his neck.

Happy was too distracted to enjoy her kisses. There was a strange feeling in his stomach, like there was something bad going on. He moved his hand to the light switch, and a second later the room was filled with light.

His eyes grew wide as he recognized Faye's face, and he rolled off her, staring at her in disbelief. "Jeez, whatta hell are you doin'?"


	12. Chapter 12

Juice had been in his room with Rowena for a while. The woman was so drunk that she didn't even know exactly who she was fucking with ‒ which he didn't really care about. He certainly had no interest in anything serious with her, he just wanted to keep her away from Happy's room, which was definitely working. 

Still, Juice was pretty frustrated that he messed up with Grace. Grace. Just when he thought of her, what he had been doing all along since Rowena lay underneath him, he wanted to bring her back here. He couldn't even concentrate on the woman who he was fucking now. He imagined what it would be like if Grace was the one with who he was lying here. He already knew how her soft skin felt, but how would it feel to let his lips wander across every inch of her body? Her breasts, her thighs, her entrance. Would she like it? He thought about all the ways he could satisfy Grace and it didn't take long before he came to his orgasm. 

"I'm not done yet," Rowena whispered against his lips as they had caught their breathe again. 

Juice was done with her and he had no desire to please her. However, he still had to keep her away from Happy and Faye. "What about you show me what you can do?" he said, putting his arm underneath his head after he had laid down next to her. 

Rowena didn't hesitate, crawled between his legs and started to suck him. While she did, the woman started to touch herself. Juice was fine with it, at least he didn't need to do anything and got a blow job anyway.

* * *

Faye closed her eyes for a moment because of the light Happy had switched on, but opened them again after a few seconds. He knew who she was. 

"Shit," she mumbled to herself and groaned softly. "Don't you get it, Happy? Like, really?" she asked, almost sounding desperate. She sat up and looked down at the man, biting her lower lip. "Would it really be that bad to sleep with me ?"

Happy couldn't remember the last time he had blushed, but this time he really felt his cheeks getting warm. The whole situation was suddenly so awkward and confusing; he never believed to find Faye in his bed. Hell, he never ever thought about her this way. "I don't get it," he said. "You slept with my brothers too?" He never considered her as a Croweater and he couldn't think of one brother who would be willing to lose his dick in case Clay would find out, but he neither understood what she was doing in his bed, why she was offering herself this way like a cheap whore. He tried to keep his eyes on her face, but even without looking straightly at them he had noticed how firm her breasts looked and how badly he wanted to explore them with his tongue.

Her eyes widened at his answer. She was so close to slap him in the face! "God, no! What do you think I am? A whore? One of those Croweaters?" she laughed ironically. Her mouth felt dry, her stomach cramped at the thought of telling him the truth. But she still had to risk a look at his member. Immediately, she felt her panties getting wet. Was there even a chance that he'd touch her again? She slowly sat down on his lap, looking directly into his eyes. "The way you touch Rowena... I want this. I want you to touch me. I want your lips on mine, your tongue exploring my body..." she whispered against his lips while her hands rested on his chest. 

Happy stared her in the eye. It took some time before he realized what she was saying. She wanted him. Only him. It could be the alcohol talking, but her words turned him on and there was no way he was going to refuse her now. He held his breathe, for a second, before his hand moved to her face and caressed her cheek in a way he had never touched a woman before. But he respected her too much to just get his own pleasure. She wanted him to pleasure her, instead of solely the other way around, and he was going to do that. He leaned on his elbow, creating some space between their bodies so his hand could move across her skin, drawing circles around her breasts before kneading them. 

"You want this huh?" he asked, his voice dark, just like his eyes. He saw her lips part, heard her breathing as she tilted her head back, giving away she definitely liked this. He bowed over to her face, kissing her underneath her ear until she shivered.

"Yes, I want this", she breathed out. Her nipples responded immediately to his touch, as did her middle. 

"Good. 'Cause I never laid down with a woman I truly care about," he whispered. 

His words made her shiver, but in a good way. She knew that he cared about her, but hearing those words made her smile. "Then it's about time, huh?" Faye whispered against his ear, distributing gentle kisses on his neck. Her hands slid over his shoulders and automatically she began to rub herself against him, moaning softly.

Happy seriously doubted if going on with this was a good idea, but he couldn't help himself. Her skin was addictive, he didn't want to let go of it. He bent his head to suck her nipple, lowering himself a little more so his middle was pressing against hers. His tip already felt her wetness, making him grunt. She was hot. She was so hot and he had never even noticed. He wanted to get inside her, wanted to feel her around him, but not yet. Her nipple slipped out of his mouth as he glanced at her face that was still adorned by a sweet smile. He brought back his lips to her, kissing her in an intense way as his hand stroked her well formed body. His breathing sped up and he felt a deeper connection with her than he had ever experienced with someone else in bed.

Happy was certainly not her first guy, but by far Faye didn't have the same experience as the Croweaters. Still, she hoped that she was so attractive to Happy as he was to her. She put a hand on her breast and started massaging it while Happy took care of the nipple of her other breast. Pleasure rose inside her even more and again and again a soft moan or a heavier breathing left her lips. She could feel his tip  as it pressed against her panties. She wanted to feel him inside her so bad, wanted to feel her walls wrapping around his member. Never before she had felt such a desire for someone. As they kissed again, it felt like hundreds of butterflies were flying around in her stomach. Her breathing got faster, yet she deepened the kiss full of passion and lust. Their lips and tongues moved in a rhythm. Sometimes wilder, then more passionate.

Happy had never been a patient lover and it didn't take long before he wanted more than just the kissing and caressing. He lost control, rather following his instincts than his thoughts. His fingers curled around the fabric, ripping it away. She whimpered, but he heard a tone of pleasure in it. He moved his hand to her legs and he hummed satisfied as he felt how ready she was. Without a warning he shoved three fingers inside her, watching how her face tensed. He trusted his fingers in and out her, feeling her soft skin. 

It didn't take long before she saw Happy's true side when it came to sex. And damn, the guy was just hot. She whimpered briefly as he tore her slip from her body, but then gasped with relish. His fingers made her body tense a bit, but it just felt so good. Besides, she didn't want him to pretend because of her. She wanted him the way he was. "Oh fuck..." she groaned, pressing her nails into his shoulders. She began to move her hips to feel his fingers deeper inside her. Her clit was already throbbing and who knows how long it would take until her orgasm came over her, it would definitely not take long.  

After working up to her climax a bit, he took away his fingers and licked them so he could taste her. "Fuck, you taste good." He looked down at her again. "You want more?" he asked, moving over to her to whisper in her ear: "Beg me."

Her lips were slightly parted as Happy licked his fingers, which only turned her on even more, which she hadn't expected. Damn, the guy knew how to drive her crazy. Appearing, she looked at him and nodded eagerly at his question. Of course she wanted more, but she blushed a little when he wanted her to beg. Not that it was bad, she was just afraid to look stupid. "I want to feel you inside me, fuck me hard... make me scream your name... please..." she really started to beg, looking deeply into his eyes while she did. "Let me cum for you..." she added and pressed her entrance against his hard member, teasing him and herself with that.

Fuck, he wanted her. The realization flowed over him, making him forget about anything else. He grabbed her hips and lifted her up. With one swing he moved her to the wall, close to his nightstand so he could get his rubber on. She had wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands were gliding across his head and he felt how she left bite marks in her neck. He stood up straighter as he had protected himself and pressed her against the wall. For a moment he looked into her wild eyes, then he kissed her hungrily. She felt how she rubbed herself along his hard member, but he smirked, letting her wait a little longer. "When is the last time someone has been inside you?" he grunted against her lips.

Faye was panting softly. He really teased the fuck out of her. "A while ago," she breathed out. "Please... fuck me, Happy," she pleaded, looking him hungrily in the eyes, licking her lips.

"How long?" he asked, staring at her tongue but not touching it with his own.

"Around a year ago", she panted, wrapping her fingers around his member, then she started to move her hand forth and back, taking care that the rubber didn't slip.

"A year?" He asked in disbelief, holding back a little, even though it was hard to concentrate on her words while she was jerking him off. She had lived a year without sex, and had chosen to crawl into  _his_ bed? He caressed her cheek, gentler than he had ever touched a girl. "I'ma make it worth the wait," he promised her with a husky voice, positioning himself in front of her. A hand raked through her hair and he grunted as he felt how her hand led him inside her. He thrust inside her, grasping a handful of her red hair. There was no resistance, he glided deeper and smirked as she moaned.

With one thrust he filled her out completely, making her moan out his name. His grip on her hair turned her on pretty bad. She had always imagined how it felt if he'd touch her, pulling on her hair in a lustful way. Her hands slid down his back, then up again and a few seconds later her nails were buried in his skin.

Happy grunted satisfied as she moaned his name. He quickened his pace, letting every hesitation go, fully going up into the girl he had trying to avoid ever since he had met her. Never he would have expected her to hold her this way, enjoying the pleasure on her face as he moved inside her.

Her breasts slightly jumped up and down as he quickened his pace. Faye left some scratches on the man's back as he thrust harder. Her moans filled the room but they weren't super loud; she wasn't the type of girl faking loud moans just to satisfy a man. Instead she enjoyed it, showing him with her moves how much she liked this. Her hips rolled against his, her eyes filled with lust as she tilted her head back.

Even though there was no way she was as experienced as the Croweaters, Faye knew exactly what she was doing. Part of him wanted to grunt her name as he was about to come, but there was still a nagging voice in his head telling him he was banging the daughter of his President. He was afraid that speaking out her name would be some kind of curse, dragging Clay right into this room. So he just looked her in the eye as he gave a few lasts thrusts before he reached his orgasm. He grabbed her tits and squeezed them so hard he heard her whimper, before he slid outside her, his legs feeling a bit shaky. He tugged a strand of hair behind her ear, feeling a bit uneasy that he had came before she did. An apology lingered on his lips, but he didn't let it slip and moved his hand to her dampness to help her across the border.

Faye couldn't stop looking at Happy, especially when he came to his orgasm. His expressions didn't change much, but they were still different. As he moved his hand back to her it didn't took long before she titled her head back again, moaning and gasping his name. "I-I can't... fuck Happy!" she moaned loudly and shortly after her orgasm came over her.

"You can't fuck me?" he repeated with a smirk. "Girl, you were good." He moved his thumb to her cheek and caressed her skin. As he realized what he was doing, he lifted her up again and carried her back to the bed, laying down with her. He didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what this was. She was beautiful and he had enjoyed every minute of it, but the awkwardness started to rise now and he couldn't just send her away like some whore. He let his hand trail up and down her body, hoping she would stay quiet a little longer, for he wasn't sure if he wanted to have a conversation about this. Would she be satisfied now? Had she just been dying to get a good fuck? Or did she have feelings for him? The words "feelings" alone made his stomach cringe. He could never give her something like that. Not only because she was still his President's daughter, also because he was the one who had killed her mother. And he never wanted her to find out.

Faye was too much out of breath to answer so she just smirked. There was a different feeling in her stomach as he said that she was good ‒ happiness. A soft sigh left her lips as he caressed her cheek, enjoying every second of it. But ‒ what now? Happy still wasn't a man of big feelings. Should she really risk it to tell him? This could destroy the relationship they had now. For now he only knew that she had wanted this, had wanted to be touched, but not that she wanted to be with him. Without realizing, she snuggled up to him as soon as they were back on the bed. 

"I really enjoyed this" Faye mumbled, feeling her cheeks glow. "And... I really like you, it wasn't just about getting fucked." Why couldn't she shut up? Well, she hadn't told him how much she really liked him, but she still took the risk to destroy their relationship.

Happy sighed as she started to talk about feelings shit anyway. "I'm not... like that," he muttered, shoving a hand underneath his head and looking up to the ceiling. His answer was vague, and he didn't know how to elaborate. It felt like she had feelings for him, and he regretted sleeping her with now. He had rather hoped it had just been curiosity which had driven her into his arms. 

Faye nodded briefly, already regretting that she had said something. "I know... and that's okay," she mumbled, shrugging. Maybe it would be better to leave now, definitely.  

He sighed again, turning on his side and looking at her face. "Guess it's better if we don't do this anymore."   

Faye looked at him and swallowed the lump in her throat. Again she felt her stomach cramp. "Yeah, sure..." With a nod she stood up, picked up her clothes and got dressed quickly. She wasn't mad at him, she knew how this would end ‒ but she couldn't hide that she was a little disappointed in his answer. Or was she sad? Probably both.

Happy watched her leave, experiencing a strange feeling of disappointment in his stomach. He liked her, and she looked hurt. He had already inflicted her so much pain by taking away her mother from her that he hated himself for stamping on her heart once more. But what else could he have done? Sure, he wouldn't mind to fuck her more often, but then it would only be a matter of time before Clay found out. Plus, he might give her the hope that she could one day become more than just a fuck buddy, especially if she really had feelings for him, and there was no way that she would ever become his old lady.


	13. Chapter 13

Grace believed she had had every right to fear Juice.

His words, his touches, his lips... they had awakened something inside her, something strong yet confusing, keeping her out of her sleep. While she was tossing and turning in bed, there were flashes of dreams intertwined with sinful desires. They all started with the kiss in his bedroom, and this time Grace wasn't trying to stop him. She allowed his tongue, tasted him, felt every vibration in his mouth. 

One second later she found herself on her back on his bed, no longer wearing her dress; only a simple black bra and panties. He bent over her, kissing her jaw, her neck, her chest until his lips found the edge of her bra. His fingers wandered over the lacy fabric, pushing with his thumbs against her nipples until they evoked a soft whimper from her mouth that he caught with his lips. 

Again his tongue slipped into her mouth, circling tenderly around hers. His hand moved down, across her stomach, to her groins. Tinglings raced down as his fingers ran across her panties, stroking gently along her private parts until she arched her back. The fabric was so thin it felt like there was nothing in between and she wanted more, much more...

Grace opened her eyes and shot upright. The memories felt so real she felt hot immediately and she threw away the blankets, shocked by the shreds of the dream  _slash_ fantasy. She buried her face in her hands, feeling the heat of her skin. Her stomach felt twisted, there was a throbbing feeling around the places where Juice's imaginary fingers had been. She breathed out shakily, clawing with her fingers through her hair. 

Where was this coming from? She couldn't remember she ever had a sex dream before, but tonight one was following the other. The idea that these strong feelings were called up by a man she had only seen a few hours, was beyond understanding. Was this a warning? Some kind of vision of what would happen if she had allowed the kiss? 

She left the bed and walked to the bath room to drink some water. Her heart bounced in her chest frantically and again and again her thoughts shot back to Juice. Memories, both real and remnants of her dreams, overlapped. Looking into the mirror, she watched herself. The longing to hold her own breasts, kneading them and imagining it was Juice, shot through her head. Disgusted with herself she turned away from the sink, rushing back into her room and putting on her sweater again. Tears stung in her eyes. 

What was wrong with her? What happened to her? It felt like she had entered Satan's kingdom and was tainted and sinful now. Wiping her eyes, she started to pray again that God would wash away her sins and brought peace to her mind.  

* * *

Faye didn't even stay at the club. It was around 3 am and everyone was already asleep or fucking around. She didn't even know if Gemma came back here or stayed at home so she decided to go by herself. As soon as she came home she took a shower, put on a jeans and a top and made her hair in a braid. She knew she couldn't sleep anyway so it didn't matter if her clothes were comfortable right now. She just sat in the kitchen, thought about the time with Happy and took a smoke while and then. 

In the morning Faye still sat in the kitchen but Gemma nor Clay was around. Then she remembered that she had told Juice she'd talk to Grace. It was 8 am, maybe she was already awake. She put out her cigarette in the ashtray before she put on her boots and left the house. 

Only a minute later she knocked on the neighbor's door, greeting the new minister. "Good morning, is Grace already awake? I'm a friend of hers," Faye said politely. 

"I'm not sure, but come in,"  the man answered and let the girl inside. "Grace! Your friend is here," he called out. 

Faye noticed that the man studied her. It seemed like he wasn't sure if she was a bad influence to his daughter, but he wasn't rude at all to her. Instead he brought her a cup of tea and offered her to wait in the living room. 

* * *

Juice just woke up, Rowena was still lying naked next to him. Sleepily, he ran a hand over his face and sat up. "Hey, wake up," he said as he woke the croweater up. "Time to leave," was all he said as he heard her sighing. 

It however didn't take long before she got up, put on her dress and left his room. Juice watched her leave before he went to the bathroom and took a long shower. Grace was still in his mind, how couldn't she? At the thought of her alone he noticed that he already got hard. "Shit," he murmured to himself, annoyed. What the hell did she do to him? They had just spent a few hours together. He didn't just find her hot, no, he liked her, wanted her to feel comfortable around him. But he had definitely messed that up. Maybe she would still call him. 

Juice let out a bitter laugh. "She surely won't," he said to himself. But there was still hope that Faye would bring her here again. And this time he'd try everything not to mess it up. 

* * *

Grace had left her bed as the first sunbeams fell through her window. She still felt tired but lying there any longer wouldn't help her. She wanted to do something, maybe that would give her energy. She put on the pants she had worn yesterday and went downstairs to get herself breakfast. It didn't take long before her thoughts shot to Juice again and she sighed. Why couldn't she just forget about him? She just kept thinking about his smile, his touches, his voice... and it just drove her mad. It made no sense, he wasn't anything like the person she had thought to fall in love with one day. That was someone caring, someone who shared her love for God and treated other people with respect. Not someone in a motor gang, with a demonic emblem on his back and even a tattoo of it on his arm. Not someone whose life was one big party, who smoked and slept around and would probably do drugs now and then too.   

After eating breakfast she went upstairs again and started to unpack the boxes until she heard a call from below; her friend was here. Nervously she stood up. At first the thought crossed her mind that it could be Juice, but that was just ridiculous. First of all because her father wouldn't have called him "a friend" and second because... well, why would he ever stop by? She had told him yesterday that she didn't want to hang out with him anymore. The memory squeezed her heart. It was such a big lie. She wanted him around so much that it scared her, letting every red flag wave. She shook off her thoughts about Juice, knowing it was probably Faye or Adrian. She hoped the last one, she feared the moment the other would even bring up Juice's name. Unfortunately it was Faye who she found in the living room, and waving her hand a bit awkwardly she sat down next to her.

Faye looked up as Grace stood in the living room. Was there something wrong? Or was she just... shy? Or was it because of Juice? "Hey, slept well?" she asked, smiling. Grace's father looked at the girls one more time before he left the room. Faye stood up and searched for the right words. "Juice talked to me last night. Want to tell me what exactly happened? And I'm sorry that I didn't left with you." Faye really felt bad for not leaving with her, especially because it had been Grace's first party here in Charming.

Grace's eyes shot to the door. She had a feeling her father would stay close to hear them talk. "You eh, you mind to take a walk?" she asked instead of giving answers. A little later they left the house. "Sorry," she said. "I just... I don't want my parents to ask questions later. Me going to parties, that's new for them too." She shoved her hands into her pockets and strolled along the lane. "You mom brought me home, so that's fine. What eh, what did Juice told you?" Her heartbeat raced up at the mentioning of his name and she breathed in shakily.

"Just that he messed it up. I think he felt really bad. I'm not sure what exactly happened, but I never saw him like that. He wasn't even in the mood anymore to sit down with the others."

Grace bowed her head, feeling ashamed of the way she had treated them. "He scares me," she admitted. "I'm not afraid he will harm me," she added quickly as her friend looked up. "He just... he just calls up really strong feelings making me..." She blushed and bit her lip. "There's no future for us. I told him so, I told him I was scared for the tension between us, and his answer... was just kissing me nevertheless." She sighed. "It felt like that was all he wanted." She brushed a curl behind her ear. "I don't blame him, not really." Nervously she rubbed her upper arm. Not because she opened up to a girl she just met; Faye had already told her about her crush. But it all sounded confusing and unimportant.

Faye listened carefully to Grace's words. She had no idea how it was to live in a Christian family, but she noticed that Grace really had no experience with guys except other religious boys. And that's probably why Juice scared her. "Believe me, he didn't mean to disrespect you with the kiss. I have to admit that most of the guys only want a good fuck. And yeah, Juice has also slept with many girls, but he really likes you," she paused for a moment, grabbing Grace's arm to stop her from walking. "If he only wanted to sleep with you he wouldn't be so upset. Maybe you should talk to him again."

Grace sighed. "But what's there to talk about? Even if he likes me, then what? We should go dating? You think he would be fine with the idea of not having sex for years?" She shook her head in disbelief. "There's a reason the Bible tells us to find a partner who also believes in God, because if not, our morals will be too different. It won't work."

"No, you don't have to date right away. But... maybe you could be friends and find out what this is between you two," she shrugged briefly, although she had to admit that it would probably be super hard for Juice if he had to wait years to get in her pants. Faye raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "What about you listen to your heart, hmm? I get it, you're religious and all that. But... is it really better to ignore your feelings ?"

"I can't just hang out with him," she answered. "As soon as he's near I want to... I want to..." Bowing her head in shame, she bit her lip. She didn't even dare to put her sinful longings into words, not even to a friend who wouldn't find that sinful at all. "My heart tells me I should stay away from him, before he makes me sin. He is a temptation I need to resist."

Faye studied the facial expressions of Grace. She quickly realized what the girl was talking about, Grace didn't need to say it. "You want what? You want to feel his touch? Or even more? That's normal, Grace. It's nothing you have to be ashamed of." Faye sighed and felt bad for the girl. "I can't and won't force you to talk to him, but Juice is a great guy. If you like him, don't push him away."

Grace bit her lip. That was exactly what she wanted, to feel his lips and fingers, and not only at uncovered places. The heat flamed up in her cheeks again. "I barely know him. It feels wrong to... have fantasies about someone I don't really know," she said hesitantly. "I'm suppose to think about a man that way when he will become my husband, not after a few hours talking." She contemplated Faye's last words. There was no doubt Juice was a great guy, that was the whole point. "I won't push him away," she added softly. "I eh, I just don't plan on seeing him again." She looked at her friend, since that also meant she wouldn't go back to the clubhouse. "Sorry."    

Faye gently dragged Grace with her and sat down on a bench. In her eyes there was nothing wrong with Grace having those fantasies. "How old are you? Twenty or something? And you never had sex. Now you met a guy who's hot, nice and all that. What's so wrong to think about him? Relax and enjoy it." Faye really tried to understand her. "So, that means I won't see you much around the clubhouse, right?" There was a strange feeling that came up and Faye was afraid that Grace didn't want to see her anymore either.

"No, I don't think I should do that, but I hope we can still see each other a lot," she said, with a shy smile. She thought about Faye's words. For some reason it was easier to think now they were sitting still. "I'm twenty." She bowed her head and twisted with a ring. It was wrong, right? Longing for a man who was not her husband? Or was this just the first step in finding a husband? Not that Juice would ever fit that idea, but it might make the guilt go away a bit. "I don't know," she sighed. "It's just... sex shouldn't exist outside marriage. So thinking about it feels like a first step to... cross that line."

"I get that you don't want sex without feelings, which is totally okay. But you still can get to know a guy. And as soon as you fall in love, sex can be one of the most beautiful things you'll experience. It's not always just fucking around." Faye rubbed the girls arm briefly. "And you still can marry a guy after having sex." 

Grace dropped her eyes. She didn't understand. "We eh, the church believes it is sinful to have sex outside a marriage, no matter our feelings. If me and me future boyfriend want to have sex, we have to marry first and no other than a Christian boy is going to agree with that, I think. Certainly not one who's in a biker club and is used to... sleep around." Her cheeks flushed at the thought of Juice being her boyfriend, something that would never happen for a million of reasons.

"Well, then I'm gonna end up in hell one day. I think I can't change your mind about all that. But I can tell you that it will be hard to find a christian boy around here. There are only a few," she sighed, thinking about Adrian. He'd be perfect for Grace, but Faye wanted to help Juice. And it was clear that Grace liked him already. "Don't mean they're bad guys... they just love to have some fun," she shrugged, looking at Grace. "Really don't want to give it a chance?"

Grace smiled sadly. "What I want and what God wants, are two different things. I hope he finds a girl who makes him happy, he deserves that." She looked at her friend again. 

"Oh girl, this is sad. Really sad," Faye mumbled and she was shocked to see how much Grace believed in that. "Yeah, he really does..." Well, she had no idea what she could say to convince Grace. 

Grace decided to change the subject. "You, eh, seemed to have talked a lot with Happy last night. Any progress?"  

A big lump formed in Faye's throat. The whole night popped up in her head again. "I don't think so. W-we... ended up in bed, but he will never have the same feelings," she admitted, looking down at the ground. What would Grace now think of her? She just told her that sex before a marriage is a no-no. 

Grace's eyes widened, wondering how they had ended up there. She didn't know well how to respond, and after a hesitation she laid a hand on her knee. "Did you tell him how you feel about him?" Part of her was curious if she still would have wanted sex with the man if she had known that beforehand, but she didn't dared to ask.

Faye looked at Grace's hand, kinda relieved that she didn't judge her. "Not really. I told him that I like him but I didn't mention how deep my feelings actually are already. But I have to accept it, he's not the relationship type." She let out a ironic laugh. "And I really love my dad but sometimes it's hard to be the president's daughter. It will never work."

"I'm sorry for you," Grace said honestly. She thought they were a bit in the same ship; they both had to accept their current crushes weren't the one for them. 

"Nah, it's okay. I think a part of me already knew that since I fell for him." Faye knew Happy good enough to know something serious between them would never happen. But she couldn't let go of the hope.

"At least you know where you stand now." 

"Yes, I think you're right about that." But it still was hurting her, to hear those words. 

Grace shoved with her foot across the ground. "How was it? To finally ‒ you know," she blushed, not knowing if it was a too personal question to ask. But she never had had friends who were sexually active or at least open about it, and yes, she was curious.

The redhead looked at Grace, frowning. "Hm, it felt great. I mean... with the right guy. It feels like your body is exploding. There are so many feelings. It's hard to describe..." Faye smiled and also blushed slightly. 

Grace thought about how she had felt when Juice had brushed her skin, when his lips had touched hers. How much intenser must it feel to give each other... everything? The thought of it alone drove an enormous heat to her center and she quickly asked a question to keep her focus. "How old were you when it was your first time?"

Faye chuckled. "You really want to know? Don't want you to have a heart attack or something." And it would probably shock the girl, but for Faye it was... normal. "I was fifteen, almost sixteen." But a part of her now wished she had reserved herself for Happy. 

Grace chuckled. "Almost sixteen? I thought you were going to say twelve when you feared I would get a heart-attack." She laughed shortly. That she wanted to wait for the one, didn't mean that she was blind for the rest of the world and she would never judge someone for having different standards than her. "Were you in a relationship? Or did you...  I don't know how that goes within your club ‒ just get an offer, making you curious?"

"Hey, all this religious stuff is new for me, don't be hard on me," she laughed softly. Again she was glad that Grace didn't judge her. For a while Faye thought about her first time and had to smirk. "Yeah, I was in a relationship. You really think anyone from the club was hitting on me? They wouldn't dare. And I'm not a whore at all." 

Grace felt her cheeks glow. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say you were a... a whore. I just had the feeling sex isn't as special as it is for... other people. And of course nobody would openly dare to do such a thing but..." she shrugged "... Happy did it too, in the end."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean to call me a whore. But it's still something special for me. Well, it was yesterday. But I have to admit that I slept with guys I barely knew. That's... our life." Faye took a cigarette out of her pack and lit it. "He did, yes. But because I wanted it," she whispered. 

Grace wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "You're a great girl, Faye. One day he will notice, and if not he doesn't deserve you."

Faye smiled. It felt food to have someone to talk about those feelings except Juice. And she definitely couldn't talk with Gemma about it. "Yeah, when I'm fifty years old or what? Don't think he'll notice. But thank you. It's good to have someone to talk." Faye squeezed Grace' hand slightly, feeling bad about the bet. But when Grace wasn't around the club, nothing would happen anyway. 

Grace smiled back. She was really glad she had met Faye; despite their differences she had the feeling their friendship could grow really strong. They were quiet for a while, but she didn't mind. Her mind traveled back to Juice. She wondered how long the two knew each other ‒ she was curious about a lot of things about him, but she knew better than to ask. She had to forget him. Talking about him wouldn't help.

Faye enjoyed the silence but was glad still having someone with her. Her thoughts however were still with Happy and last night. Did it really meant nothing to him? The way he touched her, the way he caressed her cheek... That had to mean something, right? It drove her crazy not to know how he felt, but fact was that Happy didn't want her again. 

"I think I should go home... I still have so many stuff the unpack." Before standing up, she hesitated and asked: "Can you assure Juice it's not his fault that I need distance from him? If it ever comes up in a conversation? I don't want him to feel guilty."

A little surprised Faye looked at Grace and nodded. "I can do that. But maybe you should really think about all this one more time, maybe you will change your mind. I'm sure he'd love to see you again." 

"I'll keep it in mind," she promised, even though she knew she wouldn't change her mind. "But I would be relieved if he at least knew he didn't hurt my feelings."

Side by side they walked back to their homes. 


	14. Chapter 14

Happy needed some distraction, he still felt not himself. He remembered last night too well and it called up shame. Not a feeling he was very familiair with. He had made her beg. Yeah, he had surprised himself by some tender moves, but he had still made her beg like she was a fucking whore, and she had even behaved like one. She had begged him to fuck her, and she had told him more of that whore talk that was chasing away his appetite now. She had been drunk, and he wondered if she had always been this way in the bedroom. He didn't like it. She was the President's daughter, the last thing she had to do was acting like a Croweater. With a sigh he poured himself a coffee. He had barely taken a sip of it before Rowena showed up. 

"Where were you tonight?" he asked on a dark tone. Now he understood why Faye wasn't so much a fan of the Croweater, and it made him suspicious that the whore hadn't been around. 

"I eh ‒ one of your brothers needed my services." She smiled at him, an expectant look in her eyes, as if she thought he wanted her exclusively. He didn't, he didn't care who she was fucking, unless it felt like some kind of nasty conspiracy. 

"Who?" 

"Juice," she said with a slight blush. He wasn't surprised. Faye and he were close, maybe the closest friend she had around the club. He walked up to the booth where the guy was playing some dumb game on his phone. If his brother knew anything about his activities tonight, he needed to know. "You scared the church girl away?" he mocked, plopping down next to him and kicking his boot.

Juice hadn't been in the mood to leave his room or spend time with the others. They'd probably make fun of him because he messed up with Grace. But after a while he had decided to sit down somewhere where it was still quiet, focusing on a game on his phone. The only reason why he looked up was Happy who was now sitting next to him. "She just had to go home," he answered and he cleared his throat. It was obvious that Happy was right, but he didn't want to admit that to everyone. "How uhm... was your night?" Juice put his phone away, looking curiously at Happy.

Happy glared at him. That Juice had known what Faye had wanted to do, was written all over his face. He had asked for Rowena just to make sure the girl wouldn't catch them. "How do you  _think_ my night was, huh?" He glanced over his shoulder. "What the hell were you thinkin', talkin' her into somethin' like that? You want me dead?" he growled.

Shit, he knew. Of course Happy would find out. And he should've known that Rowena would tell him where she was last night. Juice ran a hand over his head and shrugged briefly. "I don't know, not so good as it seems?" Juice didn't know if they had came closer or that Happy had told her to leave. "Don't you see how desperate she's trying to get your attention since, I don't know, a year? Didn't she tell you?"

"She just crept into my bed and I mistook her for Rowena." He rolled his eyes. "But she was on your dick, right?" he scoffed. "I had no idea she was after me. Damn, for a year?" He shook his head, feeling incredibly dumb. He had never noticed. Which was ironical, since he always knew pretty well which girls were interested in him. 

Juice couldn't help but let out a chuckle before he became serious again. "I don't know what she told you and I'm not the one who should tell you about her feelings. But yeah, you really didn't notice shit." 

 "You should have talked it out of her head."

Juice shook his head. "No, not my job. You could've send her away. But now you know it, isn't that better?"

Happy rolled his eyes. "Yeah it is. Not gonna happen again."

Juice sighed. "You think this will work?"

Happy raised an eyebrow. "The hell are you talkin' about?" ‒ Really not having a clue what he meant with "this".

Juice shrugged. "Still seeing her. I mean, you two can't ignore each other now, but I have a feeling that's exactly what will happen."

"Nah, I can count the girls I haven't fucked around here on one hand. No need to ignore her for that. It was good anyway." He shrugged. Despite the fact that they were talking about Clay's daughter, he wanted to play it off cool and he kept his real thoughts ‒  that he was embarrassed as hell ‒ to himself.

Juice frowned as he looked at Happy, skeptically. "Okay, you're cool with that. But you think Faye will act like nothing happened?" 

Happy shrugged, he was done with the shitty feelings talk and rather moved the attention to Juice himself. "You joined the bet for the church girl?"

Juice looked up quickly. "What? Are you kidding? Who the hell made a bet?" And then he remembered how Rat, Miles and Sack had tried to get close to Grace. "Shitheads," he murmured.

Happy chuckled. "My 50 bucks are in it too, but I'm not going after her. Can't do that to Faye." He shrugged. "You should join. They will hate it," he smirked. "And 250 bucks is easy earned."

"I hope so," he answered and he was kinda glad that Happy wouldn't try it. Should he join? He had messed it up, but he still could protect her from the others. "Okay, I'm in. I just hope Faye won't freak out."

"Nah, she won't. She joined the bet too," Happy knew. "So, already 300 bucks now you join." He slapped his shoulder and stood up, going back to the kitchen to get some food.

* * *

After Faye had slept for several hours at home, she got up, changed her clothes and let her hair fall over her shoulders. She definitely wanted to talk to Juice and thank him, but first she ate with her dad and Gemma. 

"Dad? Can you take me to the club?" she asked, pushing her plate aside. 

"Sure, are you done? Then let's go," he answered after he had finished his plate. 

Once at the clubhouse, Faye got off her dad's bike and headed straight for Juice's room. First she wanted to talk to him before she met Happy. Without knocking she went in, as always. 

"Hey." With a smile, she dropped on his bed next to him and crossed one leg over the other. "Thanks again for last night," she said, biting her lip. She didn't have to ask how he had distracted Rowena. 

"No problem, for you always," he said with a wink and hesitated for a moment. "Did you talk to Grace?" 

He really wanted to know if Grace was angry or still disappointed, and Faye realized that too. "Yes I have. She wanted me to tell you that it's not your fault, but she wants distance. Nevertheless, I wouldn't give up if I were you. Give her time," she said in a calm tone, reaching for his hand. "Who knows, maybe I can make her to come here again." 

Juice smiled for a moment. The idea that Grace would come here again pleased him. Nevertheless, he hadn't much hope. Suddenly he remembered something else. "When did you plan to tell me about the bet, Faye? And damn, why did you join?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Faye shrugged and looked at him. "I wanted to make it harder for the boys. Besides, nobody has a chance anyway. Believe me, you're the only one who's on her mind." 

Grace had barely spoken to anyone but Juice. If someone had a chance, it was him. Although Kip was also the type of guy who knew how to treat a woman, that explained why he hadn't pushed so hard as the others.  

"Okay good. I just hope these idiots forget about the bet. And you? What about you and Happy, huh?" he asked. 

"It was really amazing, but he said that it wouldn't happen again." 

For Faye, the topic was over and Juice didn't ask more questions. Instead, they spent the afternoon together, talking about things and playing video games.

 


	15. Chapter 15

_Two weeks later_

Slowly, Grace started to get used to the town, to the people. She had found a job in a library, where she could work three days a week. In her free time she spent a lot of time with Adrian and Faye, but she never returned to the clubhouse. Not that she never saw a Son. After her first workday her path had crossed that of Half-Sack, where after he had bought her a drink. She had enjoyed his company, they definitely had a click, and after an hour of talking they had seen each other more often, but always away from her parent's house. She had asked him not to tell Juice about their encounters, since she didn't want to encourage him to get in contact with her. There was nothing romantic about the meetings with Kip, they were just friends. But Juice... Not an hour passed by without thinking about him. It felt like a disease, something that spread through her body and made her dysfunction. There were moments that she couldn't think clearly, or that she was feeling too sick to eat. More than once a day she got a mini heart-attack as a bike drove by – which happened a lot since Clay and Gemma we're living next to them. But it was never him. It was strange to miss someone who she barely knew. She could spent hours staring at the ceiling, calling up the few memories she had with him and wondering what he was doing on the moment and if he ever thought about her.

* * *

Grace was always in the back of his mind. No matter what he did, as soon as he saw a woman with curly hair he immediately thought of Grace ‒ or even if he was alone. However, he was able to distract himself well. Most of the time he worked in the garage, and since there was a new enemy, Ethan Zobelle, his laptop was his constant companion anyway. Zobelle was trying to gain power, threatening the club, but nothing had happened yet. The guy was however smart and knew exactly what he was doing and how he could harm the club. At such moments Juice was even glad that Grace wasn't around, otherwise she would automatically become a target too. From time to time, he had slept with other women, just to be satisfied. It helped, but he caught himself thinking of Grace during sex more and more often; how much he would like to touch her, or just talk to her. But he still hadn't heard from her, and the only information he got, was coming from Faye.

* * *

The last two weeks had been quiet, too quiet. Faye spent most of her time at home or with Grace and wasn't in the club that often. But when she was there, she was mostly with Juice or Gemma. With Happy she had tried to continue to talk normally, which worked well. However, it looked very different inside. From the outside it looked like she had no problem with Happy sleeping with other women ‒ but it still hurt, even worse than before. But she had to live with it. She often flirted with others, but only to forget her real grief. 

Among other things, her eating disorder was also getting worse. It was even more important for her to look good now, to have the perfect figure. Gemma had mentioned it several times, as had Jax ‒ even Tara. But Faye was old enough to decide for herself. 

She had found a new job in a kindergarten; her old job just didn't make her happy anymore, and she liked spending time with kids. Abel was there also for a few hours every day ‒ which she really enjoyed. 

Moaning, Faye turned aside as her alarm rang. It took a while for her to get up, take a shower and get dressed. She decided to wear a black, short summer dress, but not too short. At work she didn't want to look too provocative, but she didn't want to change her looks too much either. After straightening her hair and applying some make-up, she put on her sneakers and headed straight to work. She had no time for breakfast today. She walked quickly to her car and drove off. 

As always, the music was loud, which she needed to wake up properly. Just as the next traffic light turned green, she drove off. Suddenly a car came from the side and drove at high speed into her car. She didn't notice much as her head was banging against the glass and she lost consciousness. 

The next thing Faye noticed, were Gemma and Clay's voices talking to someone else ‒ and they both sounded worried, with her dad now and then getting louder. 

"Mom, dad?" she asked, but her words were barely audible.

Her eyelids fluttered, felt heavy, yet Faye managed to open them. Somewhat dizzy because of the painkillers that ran through her veins, she looked around. Juice sat to her right and Gemma and Clay to her left. Jax also stood in the room and Tara was telling him what had happened, but Faye was too confused to understand anything. 

"Hey baby," Gemma said as she realized her daughter was awake. 

"How are you feeling?" Clay asked in an unfamiliar soft voice. 

"Shit, you really scared us," Juice muttered, squeezing her hand lightly. 

Faye had no idea who to answer first, or what she should even say. "W-what happened? All I remember is that I was on my way to work," she said quietly before she felt a prick in her abdomen and stomach.Out of reflex, she put a hand on the spot and felt through the thin fabric a compress. Carefully, she sat up and hissed painfully. 

"Lay down, Faye!" Tara intervened and she stood in front of the bed. "You had a car accident. Your ribs are broken and you have a slight concussion. But that will heal without problems. However, there is something else..." 

Tara couldn't continue because Gemma interrupted her. "Not now," she said, confusing Faye even more. 

"What the hell is going on here?" she asked firmly, even though she felt like she was hit by a truck.    

No one said anything. Instead, Gemma and Tara left the room, followed by Jax. What the hell was going on here? "Can one of you explain me what's going on?" she asked quietly, her hand still resting on the compress. Tara had said something about broken ribs and a concussion, but there was definitely something else. Juice couldn't even look her in eye, which meant he knew what was going on. 

Clay sighed and stood up, leaning against a wall. "Let's wait for you mother and Tara." 

* * *

Grace was reading a historic novel as her phone buzzed. She frowned as she saw the caller: Kip. 

"Hey," she said, pressing the device against her ear. "Everything all right?"

He had never called, he had only sent her a text now and then to ask where to meet.

"No, not really. Faye has been in an accident and it's pretty bad. Thought you might want to know. I can take you to the hospital?"

Grace moved a hand to her chest, in shock. "Oh Lord, how bad is it?"

"Dunno, still waiting for news. Ya want me to pick you up?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind..." She tried to shake off the fear, but her breathing sped up. She wouldn't lose her friend, right? Quickly she blinked away the tears. 

"I'm with you in five minutes."

Grace nodded, put away her phone and dressed herself while sending silent prayers, which she continued to do until a car stopped in front of her house. Without telling her parents what had happened, she left the house and sat down in the car.    

* * *

Grace was so nervous she could barely walk straight when they crossed the hospital. Kip asked a nurse in what room Faye was lying and with shaky legs Grace followed the direction that was pointed to them. 

"She'll be all right," Kip assured her, laying a hand on her lower back. "If not, they would have told us to wait." 

Shakily, Grace nodded, incredibly grateful he was with her. Otherwise she would probably have collapsed before finding Faye's room.

A few minutes later they reached the room. It was a bit crowded, but Grace ignored everyone in it and ran to the bed. "Faye? Are you okay?" Her voice broke, the tension had been too much and a couple of tears ran down her cheeks. "I was so scared when Kip called. Are you in pain? What happened?" she rattled.

"Yeah... I think so. I don't even really know what is going on." She smiled weakly at Grace, trying to relax a little, which didn't work. "I had a car accident, broken ribs and some other stuff. But no one's telling me the truth," Faye sighed and she closed her eyes for a moment. She wasn't tired at all anymore, but the pain in her body made everything worse. 

Juice felt bad for Faye and she deserved to know, but he wouldn't mess with Gemma at the moment. He still held her hand, trying to comfort her a little. As the door was opened and Grace had come in, a big lump had formed in his throat. And why the hell was Kip with her? He had even called her! Was it because of the bet? Was he trying to get into her pants? Juice wasn't sure if he was pissed that she was here with Kip, or that he was glad to finally see this beautiful girl again.

Grace reached for her hand and squeezed. Broken ribs were painful, but not too dangerous. She would surely survive. "Give it some time," she said, "maybe they can't predict the damage yet and is that the reason the doctor is holding back a bit?" As Faye closed her eyes, she let her glance wander through the room. Only now she saw Juice sitting on the other side of the bed, his hand in Faye's. Not for a moment she had thought to see him here. Of course she shouldn't have been surprised, but Faye's health had been her only concern. She briefly nodded at him as their eyes met, too stunned to do something else, and did the same to Faye's father as she recognized him, leaning against the wall.

"I don't have a choice, right? I have to wait until they decide when they're gonna tell me," she mumbled, squeezing Grace's hand. She was really grateful that she was here. "Thanks for coming." Faye smiled briefly. As Grace noticed that Juice was here too, Faye looked at both of them. 

Juice cleared his throat, not sure what to say. "Hey," was all he could say after Grace nodded at him. Why was it so hard to find words? "I'll get us coffee," he said to Clay, then looking back at Grace. "You want something too?" He wanted to give the girls some time, or was it just an excuse to flee from the situation?   

"Eh no, I'm fine," she said quickly. "Thank you." There was a nervous twist in her stomach and she doubted she could keep anything eat or drinkable inside. Grace tried to ignored the turmoil inside; none of it was important now. Her friend was the only thing that mattered. "I should have bought you some flowers," she told her. "Or a big teddy bear," she smiled a bit sadly. "I get you something later, I just freaked out." Of course she knew Faye would care about something like that at all, but she just wanted to fill the silence. 

"I'm glad you're here. Don't need flowers when I can have a visit from my friend." Faye smiled at Grace and let out a soft laugh. She grimaced and took a deep breath. "Shit, even that hurts." 

Faye was annoyed. She had kept her eyes open at the road, just waiting for the green light. She had done nothing wrong but still she was the one who was in hospital now. 

When Tara came in, Clay left the room because Gemma wasn't with her. Tara let out a sigh and seemed almost happy that she had a few seconds alone with Faye ‒ it didn't bother her that Grace was still in the room. "Listen, your mom wants to wait for the right time... but I have to tell you. Otherwise I'll get into trouble if I don't inform you," Tara started, searching for the right words. "A metal object was pierced into your abdomen during the accident. The surgery went well and only a thin scar will be left behind. However, the metal injured your ovaries, we couldn't save them. And this means you can't have kids. I'm sorry, Faye."

Grace widened her eyes as she heard the news the doctor brought her friend. A lump appeared in her throat and her eyes flashed to Faye's face. That was horrible, so horrible! She felt so sorry for her friend and she covered her mouth behind her hand. She didn't know what to say, there was nothing comforting to say in a situation like this, and she just squeezed the girl's hand. Again a few tears escaped her eyes and rolled down. The knowledge hurt, even for her, and she couldn't imagine how awful the girl herself must feel.

Faye stared at Tara. For a few minutes she didn't say a word. Sure, she hadn't thought about having children at the moment ‒  but she always wanted a big family. And now she wished she could have had at least one child. The first tears ran down her glowing cheeks. She felt Grace squeezing her hand, but right now Faye was too shocked to do anything. Instead, only a soft sob left her lips. 

"I'm really sorry. If you need something, let me know," Tara said a little more softly, gently stroking Faye's leg and giving the two girls a sympathetic look before she left the room.

Grace wrapped her arms around Faye, as good as she could since there was still a hospital bed in the way. She said nothing and pressed a kiss in her red hair, holding her tightly and stroking her back. There were other options to still have children, but she would never see similarities, she would never give birth to any.

Faye closed her eyes and buried her face against Grace's shoulder. Now she let out all the tears and sobs. Something inside her literally screamed for revenge, but she had no idea who had hit her car. 

Still no words left her lips. What should she say? Desperately, she raised her head a little and looked at her friend. "I always wanted kids..." she whispered.

Grace blinked her own tears away, still holding her. She looked down in Faye's watery eyes and bit her lip. She didn't dare to say that she could always adopt one, that sounded brutal, as if that could replace the loss she was feeling now. It was so cruel ‒ this morning the girl had woken up all merry and happy, and a few hours later her whole world had crumbled down. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I just don't know what to say. Sure, there are others ways. But..." She trailed off, having the impression that it was better to stay quiet. "It's not the same," she whispered in the end, still feeling the need to finish her sentence.

Sure, Faye's first thought was that she still could adopt a kid or be a foster mother, but she'd never give birth to her own flesh and blood. Her whole body was shaking slightly, her lips trembling. "I know... there are a few other ways... maybe in a few years I'll choose one of them. But... I always wanted to know how it feels to have your own baby under your heart," she swallowed, looking at Grace again. 

Grace stroked the girl's hair. "Is there anything I can do for you now? Do you... wanna have Gemma around? Or your dad... or Juice?" she asked. She wouldn't mind to stay with her friend, but after all they knew each other for only two weeks and she could imagine she needed the support of someone who knew her better.

Faye shrugged briefly. "No, but you can do me a favor. Talk to Juice, Grace. He'll be around me a lot now and I want you to be around too. I don't ask you to become his best friend now, but you two already got nervous when you see each other," she mumbled, hoping Grace wouldn't be mad at her for this favor. "But it's okay if you really don't want to talk to him." Actually Faye just wanted to help them. "And... maybe you could ask someone if they know who hit my car. No one will tell me anyway."

Despite the horrible situation, Grace blushed. Still she nodded. Her friend was right: she needed both of them. "We'll be okay," she assured her. "And I'll tell them that too." She crossed her arms a bit unsure. She could imagine Gemma, Clay and Jax were dying to comfort their daughter and sister. "I think it's for the best if I give you and your family some room. This affects them too..." She squeezed her hand one more time. "Are you okay with that? I will be around, I just think all of you should be together now."

A weak smile formed on Faye's lips as she saw how Grace blushed. "Okay, thank you." She didn't want anyone to worry about her that much, that's why she tried to hold her tears back. She had enough time to let her feelings out when she was alone. Who knows how long she needed to stay here. "Yeah, I'm okay with that. But if you want to go home, or have something else to do it's okay. I don't want you to waste your time on me." Faye pressed a kiss on Grace's cheek, squeezing her hand gratefully.

"I don't have to go anywhere today," she answered. She let go of Faye's hand, not knowing what else to say and waved awkwardly before she left the room. Faye's family was waiting outside. Grace felt guilty because she had taken their place, but the expressions on their faces were grateful. "I think she needs her family now," she said to Gemma, with a sad smile. She waited until the family had entered the room and looked around to see were Juice and Kip were. The coffee couldn't be that far away; maybe they were taking a smoke outside. She walked to the entrance of the building and felt the tension rise in her chest as she saw the two guys standing outside, both staring in the distance. She took a deep breath, remembered her promise to her friend, and walked up to them.

 


	16. Chapter 16

Juice had left the room quickly, taking Kip with him. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he thought about the news Faye would hear soon. Then his thoughts wandered to Grace and he rubbed his neck. The girl still made him nervous, especially after those two weeks distance. The fact that Kip had brought her here, was bothering him. 

"Gonna tell me why she was with you?" he asked Kip as they were having a smoke. 

"I uhm... thought she'd like to know about Faye, so I went to her house," Kip explained and he looked definitely nervous. 

"She said you called her. Man, you don't do this because of the bet, right?" Juice asked, now looking angry at the other guy. 

"No! It's not about the bet." His eyes fluttered around until he looked at the entrance. "There she is. Think you should talk to her yourself." 

Juice's body tensed as he saw Grace. "Is Faye asleep?" he asked as she came closer, not knowing what else to say.

"No... Tara told her about the real impact of her injuries." She sighed. "I figured I could better give her some time with her family, they will have to bear this together."

"Oh, so she knows..." He also sighed. "Yeah, I think Gemma won't leave her side anyway. Are you staying?" A big part of him wished that she would say yes.

Grace felt panic rise as she heard his question. Yes, she had intended to stay, but something in his voice told her he would stick around too. Being alone with him again scared her, especially now she felt so fragile. Sure, Kip was also still there, but their awkwardness must be sensible for him too and she had the feeling he would leave soon, since he wasn't so close to Faye himself. "I don't know," she said, keeping a way out open. "It doesn't feel right to go home now and I want to know how she feels a little later today..."

"I know what you mean. But if you really can't stay, I can text you later how she feels... or Kip can do that." The last words sounded disappointed and he just had to ask her. "You spent time with him, right?" What was so different about Kip? He was a Son too. Well, a prospect, but still.

"We did," she answered honestly, peeking to the prospect who was clearly feeling uncomfortable.  

"I eh, I'll give you some space. I'll go to the clubhouse anyway to see if there's anything I can do. Just give me a call if you can't find a ride." 

She nodded and mumbled: "Thanks." Uneasy she looked at Juice, messing with the string of her black hoodie. She hadn't counted on seeing him today; she wore just a black hoodie and a grey sweat pants because that had been the clothes closest to her when Kip had called. It was quite a difference with the dress he had seen her in. "We grabbed coffee a few times," she explained to Juice, since there was still an expectant look in his eyes. "When we ran into each other on the street."

Juice watched Kip leave. He hated it, but he was kinda pissed off. Sure, he wouldn't start a fight with Kip because of it but it annoyed him. "And why him? You wanted distance, which is fine. But all I asked was one more chance, to show you that... that I didn't mean to scare you..."

"Oh Juice..." she sighed as she turned a bit more towards him. Her hand was itching, she wanted to cup his cheek to make sure that he would understand her this time. "I thought Faye had explained to you why you scare me, so that you would no longer blame yourself for my choice..." She bit her lip, knowing this probably wasn't helping him much. But admitting right into his face that she considered him as her greatest temptation to sin, was something she didn't dare.

Juice nodded briefly. "Faye did. But that's why I want to show you that I wouldn't do anything before you are ready..." He wasn't stupid and he knew exactly how much she had enjoyed his touch at the party. But that was a thing she couldn't allow; he was still the opposite of a Christian guy and that would never change. His eyes fell on her lips and immediately he remembered how they had tasted, how soft they were. But damn, he wouldn't dare to kiss her again.

Her heart beat raced in her chest, and despite what had happened with her friend, the look in his eyes filled her with warmth. "You're too kind..." she whispered. She couldn't control herself, her hand moved to his cheek and with her thumb she stroked the stubble. "I just can't," she said softly. "I can't be around you and constantly fight that longing, that longing to..." She breathed out shakily.  _To be touched by you in inappropriate places,_  she thought, but she didn't dare to say it out loud. "It's driving me crazy.

When he felt her hand on his cheek, touching his skin, it almost drove  _him_ crazy. The same feeling in his stomach came back. He longed for more too, but he knew that she was right, that it wouldn't work. Even though he wanted it to work so badly. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he replied. Grace didn't need to say it, he knew what she meant because he felt the same. He longed for her touch or to touch her. Slowly, he put his hand on the back of her neck and caressed her jawline with his thumb.

Tinglings spiraled through her body. His touch was so intense, so overwhelming. He felt like a magnet from which was no escape. She closed her eyes, felt his thumb travel along her jaw. Could something that felt so good really be so bad? Maybe she just needed to get used to him, giving him and herself tiny pieces of a deep intimacy before they would really choose each other. And even if it didn't work between them ‒ she just wanted to have tasted him. She wanted him to be the first to kiss her, because there never had been someone else who had called up such strong feelings, and there was no guarantee she would ever meet someone like him again. "I'm weak," she whispered against his lips, brushing them softly with her own. Her hand moved to the back of his head and she leaned into him, until her breasts were softly touching his chest. She dotted kisses at his lower lip and tilted her head a little as she felt his lips part. Her tongue slid inside, shyly touching his. An explosion arose inside her chest, hurling away all her reservation.

She enjoyed the touches of his tongue, the pressure of his lips on hers. However, after fantasizing for two weeks about this kiss, it couldn't meet all her expectations and he didn't taste as great as the last time his tongue had been in her mouth – even if it was for only a very brief moment. It made her wonder how he felt about it; if this was a disappointment for him or not. After all, she wasn't as experienced as the girls he usually kissed. Now her heart was no longer in it, she was distracted and their teeth bumped. A bit ashamed she broke away from the kiss, looking up at him with insecurity in her eyes and cheeks that were red by embarrassment. "I don't think you've ever met such a clumsy kisser," she whispered.

Again, Juice had loved tasting her lips, her tongue. And it had felt good, although the situation maybe wasn't the best. They still stood in front of the hospital. Here and there were people around them. As their teeth bumped Juice also broke away. It didn't made the kiss worse, this could happen all the time. He could see how her cheeks turned red. "You're not a clumsy kisser at all," he said honestly and he caressed her cheek one more time before he let his hands slip into his pockets.

Grace blushed, not knowing what to say. What now? How should they behave around each other? She felt so ignorant, this was all so new for her, she had no idea what to expect. She intertwined her fingers as she didn't know what to do with them and looked at him, still a bit over the moon that he still had feelings for her after two weeks of not seeing each other. He was so handsome and there so many pretty girls around the clubhouse that it was hard to imagine he liked her more than other girls.

This silence between them made him nervous again. It was like he had forgotten how to talk to a girl. But only because Grace was so different from the others. He still had no idea how he should say things and not mess it up again. "Maybe we can get a coffee tomorrow?" he asked almost shyly. 

"Coffee?" Grace's thoughts had wandered off and she tried to get them back to a conversation. Where else should they go? She couldn't take him home, she didn't want to hang around in the clubhouse and going to his home... that gave her an jittery feeling. "I don't know. It's just... If you don't mind to take off your cut or hide your head tats." She blushed. "I'm afraid what will happen if someone sees that I'm hanging out with a biker." It felt wrong to ask from him to hide who he was, but she didn't want her parents to ruin this, not now she was trying to give this a chance.   

Juice was a bit shocked when she asked him to take off his cut. It was okay for him to hide his tattoos, that wasn't a big deal at all. But he was too proud to hide his cut. Would she still go to town with him if he'd wear it? Sighing, he nodded. "Yeah, that's okay." If that meant she'd give him a chance, then fine. He wouldn't take it off, but he'd wear a hoodie or something to hide it, even if it felt like he had to change to be with her. She was afraid, that was the only reason why he gave in.   

It was not okay. She could read it in his eyes and she already regretted bringing it up. This wasn't going to work between them, she thought with a sigh. Things like this would always bother them and even if they would really get into a relationship, she had no idea how she should ever tell that to her parents. They would disapprove of it so badly. It felt like there would be a day when she had to choose between him and her family and that prospect was horrible. 

* * *

Faye had talked to her family for a while, hiding her real grief from them ‒ but they weren't stupid. After half an hour Faye couldn't stay in the room anymore. She hissed painfully when she stood up, her whole body felt so heavy and sore. 

"You shouldn't get up yet, Faye," Tara said with a sigh. The doc was done with her shift but Jax was still there so she had joined them. 

"I need a smoke. Otherwise I'll lose my mind in here," she mumbled and looked around. There weren't any clothes around and she still wore the surgery clothing. "Fuck it," she whispered to herself. It was long enough to cover her butt and it also covered her back. The only thing she put on were her shoes before she walked outside. It took her around ten painful minutes to reach the entrance. There she saw Grace and Juice. 

"Hey, you don't wanna go inside?" the girl asked them before she turned to Juice and asked for a cigarette.

Grace stared at it for a moment. At least that explained why he hadn't tasted that great this time... Right before she had kissed him, he had been smoking and she felt stupid for picking exactly that moment. "Yeah, we could go inside," she nodded. "I eh, the guys were just smoking when I found them."    

Juice's eyes wandered to Faye. "Uhm... shouldn't you stay in bed?" he asked worried but he handed her a cigarette. 

Faye took the cigarette and lit it. "Just let me finish then we can go back inside," she said before she took a deep drag. Shit, even breathing hurt because of her ribs. Should she ask what had happened between them? Both of them seemed embarrassed, but she decided to stay quiet about it. "Could you ask anyone from the club to bring me some comfortable clothes?" she looked at Juice and he nodded.

There was an uncomfortable silence as Grace waited until Faye was done smoking. They went inside again, and she found it hard to look at Juice, knowing the clothing thing was still bothering him. Instead, she focused her attention to Faye. "Any idea when you can leave?"

Faye shrugged. "Tara said I need to stay a few days, depending on how I feel. But I want to go home... I hate hospitals." Sure, she was glad that she got help, but the feeling here was so depressing. And she had no idea how to handle all the news by herself. And no one would stay over night except Gemma or her father, but they needed to sleep too.

"A few days, that's long..." She pouted her lips. "I can bring my laptop tomorrow so we can do a movie marathon," she suggested. That coffee-date probably wouldn't take long anyway, especially with their current silences. She peeked at Juice again, who was in deep thoughts.

Faye looked at Grace, a small smile on her face. "You would do that? I mean, if it's okay for your parents, I'd love to do a movie marathon," she answered. That would definitely distract her a little. 

Juice rubbed his neck. "I have to go back to the club for a few hours. Need a ride home?" he asked Grace and he remembered that Kip had offered her a ride too.

Grace hesitated. The only thing which she would do at home, was worry. But Faye's family was still around and she didn't want to be the fifth wheel. "If you can manage without us?" Grace asked, looking at her friend.

Faye would send her family home anyway. Jax had his wife and kids and the others had other things to do. But it was okay for her if Grace would leave with Juice. Especially because she hoped the two would have a chance. "It's okay. I see you tomorrow anyway. Take care, yeah?" Faye smiled weakly and hugged Grace, ignoring the pain that shot through her body.

"Please be careful, don't try too much," Grace said to her friend, taking a step back so that Juice could also say goodbye. Nervousness started to plague her again. For nights she had dreamed about how it would feel to be on his bike, to wrap her arms around him and give him all her trust.

"Don't worry about me", she said to Grace and then hugged Juice for a moment. "See you two tomorrow!" 

Juice hugged her back, trying not to hurt her. "Within an hour someone will bring your stuff. Be careful." He pressed a kiss on her forehead before he went outside with Grace. He had to admit that excitement rose inside him at the thought of feeling her behind him.

"Juice..." Grace started after a while as they left the hospital. The whole clothing thing was still bothering her. "I was thinking... Isn't here a place outside Charming where we can grab a coffee or have lunch or something. You know... so that you can be... just you?" It was no solution for their problem, they couldn't hide forever, but she wanted to see if there was even a possibility that this would work before she brought the topic up to the parents.

Juice turned to Grace and listened to her words. It was nice to know that she at least accepted him the way he was, but it was still bothering him. "No... it's okay, we don't have to leave town." He paused for a moment. "Sorry for my reaction, but the club is all I got and I'm proud to be part of it, you know? But one day with a hoodie and a cap won't kill me." Now a weak smile was on his lips; he didn't want to disappoint her.

"Okay," she said. She wondered what had happened to his family, but that was something she should ask about later. "I get it. It's just... Kip never bothered to take it off, so I didn't think..." She trailed off, shrugging. "I didn't know it was so important to you."

"Kip is a prospect, it's easier for them. But once you're a full member it's way harder." But he was still surprised that Kip took it off without hesitation. "It's okay, really. Don't worry about that anymore." Juice handed her his helmet because he hadn't a second one with him right now.

Grace fastened the helmet and watched how he sat down. Her cheeks got warmer as she looked at him, he looked so tough and for the first time in her life she dared to call a man sexy. Nervously she sat down behind him, her heart beating frantically as excitement flew through her veins. There was a nasty feeling in her stomach as she looked right into the grinning Reaper on the back of his cut but the uneasiness went away as she laid her hands on his hips.

Juice smiled as he felt her body so close to his. There was this feeling again that he had felt when they were in his room the first time. "Hold on tight, okay?" He turned his head so he could look at her once more before he drove off. This was the first time he really drove carefully, especially because of the accident that happend to Faye only a few hours ago. 

Grace slipped her arms round him until her fingers met each other on his stomach and held him tight. She turned her head to the left and leaned with her cheek against his back. Holding him in her arms, was one of the greatest feelings she had ever experienced. There was no fear as they rode back to town, she felt safe with him. Feeling the wind play with her curls, seeing everything going by in a rush was really exciting and she loved every minute of the intimacy she felt. The only thing that was bothering her, was the short duration of the ride.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Faye was back in her bed. It was hard to convince the others to go home, but they all looked tired. The girl grabbed her phone, which Gemma had given her before she left, and wrote a message to Happy.  _"Hey uhm... Juice already told most of the people what happened. Could you bring me some clothes and a toothbrush?"_   She didn't just want her clothes, she wanted to see him, to have him around. Especially now.

* * *

Happy had been away all day because he had an appointment with a drug dealer to get new medication for his mom. As he returned, he heard what had happened to Faye. Rumors were already spreading and the men who weren't at the hospital were all waiting for Juice to return, so he could look into the traffic cameras to see if the accident was recorded. He grunted as he received a text from her. She needed a toothbrush and clothes? What the hell did she think he was? A fucking prospect? As his anger faded away a bit, he realized it was probably just an excuse to see him. He had tried to ignore her love declaration, but it wouldn't make her feelings go away and he was probably the one she felt the safest around now, especially if she had a suspicion that the accident had been club related. "Go to the hospital and bring Faye some clothes and a toothbrush," he told one of the prospects. He didn't know when she needed them, but he didn't plan to visit her before the guy who had done this to her was dead. That would be the only way he would comfortable around her.

* * *

Faye waited for an answer, but nothing came. Sighing, she laid down and pulled the blanket over her body until it covered everything except her face. Now that she was alone, all the thoughts and feelings were back, tears were running down her cheeks and she cried herself to sleep for the first time in her life.

* * *

The ride didn't take long, maybe around ten minutes. But that didn't matter, Juice enjoyed every second of it. Feeling her fingers on his stomach, her head against his back. Sometimes he even turned his head to check if she was okay. It had been a while since he had felt this good. He parked his bike at the Teller-Morrow house, just in case her parents would look out of the window, and got off. "Here you go..." Juice said softly.

"Thank you," she muttered, leaving the bike and unstrapping the helmet. "That wasn't so bad." She smiled shyly, but for some reason she didn't dare to say how much she had enjoyed it. For him there was probably nothing special about it. She raked a hand through her hair to bring it into shape again after the windy ride and handed him the helmet. 

"Anytime," he said and he meant it. He would do this all over again, just to have her close. What should they do now? Should he kiss her? No, this wasn't the right moment nor the right place. 

Grace knew he had to leave and she didn't know how to see goodbye. "Can I eh, can we  share numbers?" she asked before he would take off. "Might ease eh, our date." Heat spread across her face again, not knowing if he considered this as a date at all. She had been drinking coffee with both Adrian and Kip and she had never considered that as a date.

"Yeah sure, wait..." He took his phone out of the inside pocket of his cut and gave her his number, so she could type it in her phone. That she called it date, made him smile like an idiot. "I'm glad we had the chance to talk again," he said.

Grace put her number in the device. When she left the contact list, she stared at the wallpaper at his phone. It was a blonde woman on a bike, wearing nothing but a thong, her head tilted back and her back curved in a way that was obviously meant to be hot. For a moment Grace stared at her almost naked body, knowing she could never ever compete with that. Quickly she returned the device, heat spreading across her face again. "Yeah..." she muttered, suddenly not so sure if that had really been a good idea. Her hand moved to her neck as she messed with the little crucifix. "I ‒ I should go," she whispered, tears itching in her eyes. She didn't know where they were coming from. The image had just shocked her, rubbing her face into reality. It was stupid to think that this would ever work between them. They were too different. She expected him to respect her, and she wanted to do the same. Even if he was living a sinful life, she didn't want to judge him for it. But their worlds were so different that it could never work if neither of them changed. All she could do however, was showing him God's love and she knew very well that wasn't the kind of love he wanted from her.

Juice frowned as Grace literally stared at his phone. What was going on? He took the phone back and studied the girl a bit worried as she messed with her crucifix. "Okay. Thank you... again," he said quietly and he looked into her eyes. What was going on with her? Briefly, he checked his phone because he got a message and then he realized what she had been staring at. His wallpaper. "Oh..." he mumbled under his breath. He grabbed her arm and gently pulled her closer to him. "It's just a picture, nothing more. I can change it if you want." 

Juice frowned about his own words. What was going on with him? Did he really just offered her to change his wallpaper because of her? If it was for any other woman he wouldn't have cared at all. "I have to go. They need me in the club. Please don't change your mind about the... date." Juice pressed a kiss on her forehead before he grabbed his helmet and got back on his bike.

Grace felt her skin burn where he had kissed her. His voice had sounded so gentle, he really was the most patient man she had ever seen. It gave her a little bit of hope. If he wasn't serious about this, he wouldn't have kept trying. "I won't." She briefly laid her hand across the hand that was resting upon the handlebar and stroked the back of it with her thumb. She didn't dare to kiss him, but just turning around now felt awkward too. She gathered her strength, still feeling the need to ease the mood a bit. "I really like you, Juice. I just have to find my way around all this." She longed back to that moment in his bed room after she had changed clothes; as his forehead was resting against hers and she had admitted she didn't want to leave him. Now everything felt different, it even relieved her a bit knowing she wouldn't have to look for words all the time. She pulled back her hand and hooked her thumbs in the pockets of her sweatpants as she waited until he would leave.

Juice smiled briefly. It was hard for both. She had no idea how his life was, and he had no idea about hers. Never before he had been in such a situation, but he wanted to give it a try. Grace's hand on his gave him a warm feeling and it showed him that she wanted to try this too. "I know, we both do. But we'll figure this out," he answered. Once more he caressed her cheek. "I like you too by the way." Now his usual grin formed on his lips. Only a few seconds later he was back on the road, turning around for her once more before he disappeared out of her sight.

His last words and grin brought a hint of a smile on her face and she waved as he turned around one more time before he rounded a corner. She walked back home, hoping nobody was there. She needed some time alone, a lot had happened today. Faye receiving that horrible news and her kiss with Juice ‒ and the fact that she was going to give him and herself a chance, which was so different from how her day had begun... Despite the awkward silences and their differences that had been stressed once more today, she felt happy about it. Nervous and scared, but also a strange kind of happiness she had never felt before.


	18. Chapter 18

Around half an hour later Juice was at the clubhouse and hacked the cameras around the place where the accident had happened. Grace was still on his mind and there was a small smile on his lips when he thought about her. But as he saw who hit Faye's car, he got way more serious. "Nazi prick. Looks like one of Darby's guys... but I'm not sure," he said to Clay, Jax and Happy who stood around the table. Tig, Chibs and Bobby just joined them. The picture on the camera wasn't even blurry, so it would be easy to find out who it could've been. It probably wasn't an accident at all, someone had crashed into Faye's car on purpose ‒ which meant the war had just started.

Rage filled Happy at the thought of the car crash not having been an accident at all. What sick motherfucker attacked an innocent girl to prove a point? – The same ones that wanted to wipe out everyone with a different skin colour, he thought. His own mother was brown, there was no way all this didn't feel personal and the fact that Faye had became a victim of their disgusting believes even made things worse. "They need to go," he grunted. Zobelle and his little friends had just shown up in town and it was better to kill them off before anyone would care about them. He didn't care if it would lead him straight to jail. He glanced at Juice's screen again. "Got an address? Need to see blood."

Juice looked at Happy, nodding. "Gimme a few sec," he answered, grabbing the laptop and disappearing into his room. It was always better to work alone when it was something important, so that he could concentrate better. 

Juice handed Happy a note fifteen minutes later. "This is the address. I hope it's the right one... but I think it is." Juice really wanted to see this guy dead. Sure, the guy they actually needed to kill was Zobelle, but that would be too obvious and would only cause way more trouble ‒ they needed to be smarter. But this guy on the picture would definitely die today. 

"I'm going with you. Let's kill this fucker," Jax said, checking if his gun was loaded and going outside. 

Ten minutes later they stopped in front of the right house. It was broad daylight, but Happy wasn't in the mood to wait and neither was Jax. "Whatcha want? Just ring the bell and put a bullet in his head?" He was Faye's brother, it was up to him to take revenge, no matter how badly he wanted to do it himself.

"Nah, too good for this asshole. Do whatever you want, but I wanna be the one killing him," he said to Happy. 

* * *

When Faye finally had her stuff, she called for a nurse to help her get dressed. She had tried it with a pair of jeans, but the waistband pressed directly to the fresh wound, so she had no choice but to put on a sweatpants and a sports bra. It wasn't the nicest outfit, and certainly not to her liking, especially since Faye always paid attention to her figure and all that, but right now she didn't care. She let her long red hair fall over her shoulders and then went outside with a prospect, who stood in front of her door, to take a smoke, even though the nurse, as well as Tara before, advised not to walk so much. But Faye needed it. 

Twenty minutes later, she was back in her room, brushing her teeth and getting back to bed. Of course, she was a bit disappointed that Happy hadn't brought her the stuff, but now she felt really stupid. Why had she ask him that? He wasn't a prospect, now he was probably even pissed at her.

* * *

Happy peeked inside, mainly hoping there were no kids around. "He's working on his computer, earplugs in. Perfect." Right after those words he put the silencer on his gun and nodded to Jax. The backdoor wasn't locked and the men stepped inside.

Jax also put the silencer on his gun and looked around. The chance was big that he had kids, but he didn't hear anything. "Couldn't be better," he said with a low growl as he followed Happy inside, knocking the man on the laptop out with a hit on the back of this head with the gun. Again, he looked around and searched for something he could put in his mouth to keep him quiet.

Happy planted his boot on the man's throat as he waited until Jax had found something to gag him. He looked over the man's body. What would be the best way? His thoughts shot to the girl again, and he decided to give Faye a call. "It should be her call," he shrugged. "She could have been dead." He had seen the car; it was a miracle there were just a few broken ribs. Jax nodded, seemingly agreeing as Happy waited until the girl picked up the phone. Hopefully she was stil awake.

It only took a few seconds before Jax found something to gag the man, which he did immediately. All he wanted was to see this fucker suffer. "Yeah, part of her probably is," he mumbled. Jax had seen how hard the bad news had been for his sister, so he was okay with Happy's decision that it should be Faye's call. 

* * *

Faye couldn't sleep at all, that's why she picked up only a few seconds later. She was surprised that it was Happy who called her. "Yeah?" she asked quietly.

Happy hated her weak, broken voice. Unintentionally he moved his weighed to his left foot, so he already almost snapped the man's neck. Just when a crack could be expected, he lifted his toes again. "Got the motherfucker under my boot. Whatcha want me to do with em?"

Faye needed a moment before she realized what Happy meant. So it hadn't been an accident, it had been on purpose. And there was this feeling again ‒ she wanted revenge. "I-I don't know. Just... hurt him, please..." her voice was only a whisper before tears appeared in her eyes again.

"I will hurt him," he promised her. "Just tell me how. You need your revenge."

Faye swallowed softly. "Does he have a wife? Do you know anything about that?" Maybe this was brutal, but she was so hurt that she didn't care. "If yes, hurt or kill her in front of him. Take the most important thing away from him. Then let him feel the pain." Her own thoughts scared her if she was honest. 

Happy would do it, for her. He owed her that. He owed her everything she wanted from him. But Jax was with him and he wasn't a big fan of killing innocent people. He looked around the room, but there were no family pictures. "Jax is with me. Don't think he'll let me kill an innocent woman. Ain't one around anyway."

"I can't have kids anymore because of this asshole and I was innocent too," she said firmly. Okay, maybe she wasn't the most innocent girl on earth but she never really hurt someone. "Okay fine... sorry. I don't know... I never thought about suffering methods. Just let him feel it." Now her voice was softer again. 

"You – you  _what_?" Compassion was an emotion Happy rarely felt, but this time the phone was shaking in his hand. However, he managed to get himself back in control quickly. "I'll make him pay," he promised. "I'll skin him alive for you. You want Jax to film it?"

Her lips trembled and her voice sounded shaky, but she didn't dare to start crying on the phone. "I-I don't know. But you don't have to do this if you can't..." she answered quietly. Of course Happy could do that, he probably wouldn't do this for the first time. 

"I'll take care of it. You can always decide later." He was silent for a moment. "Take care, Faye. We got the bastard." 

Faye nodded briefly, even though he couldn't see it. "Okay," she paused for a moment and suppressed her tears. "Thank you, Happy," she whispered before he hung up. Now she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. But at least this asshole would suffer for this. 

Happy pulled away his phone and looked at Jax. "Film it. Maybe it will give her some peace. Maybe his nazi brothers will like it too. And get me a knife." 

A moment later Jax handed him a knife from the kitchen and Happy tied the man to the kitchen table and started with his messy vengeance.

Jax searched for a better camera than his phone and he found one quickly. "Yeah, they shouldn't mess around with us again." Leaning against the fridge, he filmed every single second of the blood bath. 


	19. Chapter 19

Grace wasn't alone when she entered the house after Juice had left. Her father was working on his laptop, her mother was nowhere to be seen. Her father looked up as she entered the room. "Where did you go?" he asked, looking conspicuously from under his raised eyebrows. "Who picked you up?"

"Just a friend," she muttered. "A friend from Faye. She eh, she was in a car accident."

The expression on the man's face changed immediately. "Is she all right?"

Grace shook her head. "No. She has a few broken ribs and they had to remove her ovaries." With a sigh she sat down at the table. "It was horrible. She is devastated. I have no idea how to comfort her."

Her father sighed, a sad expression on his face. He reached over the table and took her hand. "Just be yourself. Be the one she can talk to. The only one who can take that pain away, is Jesus."

Grace knew he was right, but Faye didn't want His comfort and it felt too easy to do nothing herself. She stood up and made a cup of tea for herself, hoping that would calm her stomach down a bit. There were so many different feelings she was just feeling sick.

"I'm taking my laptop to the hospital tomorrow, so we can watch some movies," she said as she sat down at the table again. "I don't know how late I will be back."

"Of course." He smiled. "I'm sure she thinks you're a great friend, Grace."

She smiled slightly, still wishing there was more she could do.

* * *

Grace's mother was at the grocery store. She wanted to make something special for dinner tonight. Just before she was about to leave, the woman's eye caught a blonde man. "Hello, Adrian. Nice to see you," she said with a soft smile. He was one of the first guys around that had helped and welcomed them in town and he was also a Christian man, which was perfect. Sure, he was a little older than Grace, but she already knew that they would marry one day, they were a perfect match.

"Hello Miss. How is Grace?" Adrian asked nicely, picking some groceries from the shelf.

"She's fine. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? I'm sure Grace would like to see you." And she would definitely like that too. Her daughter was in an age to find a nice, loving man. She wouldn't force her into anything, but why not helping her a bit?

"Yeah sure. Want me to bring something?" he asked, a polite smile on his lips.

"No it's fine, we got everything. Dinner should be ready in around three hours. See you there," she smiled, patting his shoulder briefly before she paid for everything and drove back home.

* * *

"I asked Adrian over for dinner," Grace's mother smiled as she got home. She put two bags with groceries on the kitchen table. "I thought you would like that." 

Grace widened her eyes. Sure, she liked Adrian. But having dinner with him was something different than hanging around with some other church members and having a coffee or beer. She squeezed her eyes. "Are you trying to pair us up?" she asked suspiciously. 

"Of course not," her mother answered innocently. 

Grace snorted. "Thou shalt not lie." 

Her mother looked briefly at her before she gave in. "I would like to know him. I think it might lead to something beautiful." 

Grace shook her head, sighing. "I'm not interested in him. Not in that way." 

"Feelings like that need to grow." 

She wondered if her mother really believed that. Her feelings for Juice had just mercilessly rushed over her. She was almost about to tell her mother about the date she had tomorrow, but she knew better. She complained enough about the neighbors, the fact that they were in a motor club hadn't escaped her attention. There was no chance she would give him a chance. 

"Whatever," she said. "Just don't make him feel uncomfortable. The age of arranged marriages is over," she reminded her with a slight smirk. She couldn't help there was a provoking tone in her voice and she quickly turned her attention to her laptop again. She had wanted to use Netflix for their marathon tomorrow, but she had just discovered there was no download option on the desktop version and she doubted the wireless connection would be good in the hospital. She had never downloaded a movie in an illegal way, but this time it was to help a friend out, and she thought about asking Juice if he could download some movies for her. She however lacked his number, so she would have to wait until he called or texted her about tomorrow and she had the feeling he would be busy enough today.

* * *

As soon as Adrian was home he took a shower and got dressed. He chose his usual jeans, a normal white shirt and his jacket. Grace's mom had said that he didn't need to bring anything, but he still bought flowers for them. He really liked Grace, she was a nice girl and he liked spending time with her. But coming over for dinner was something else and he had the feeling that Grace's mom wanted to pair them up. But they were just friends ‒ or could this change? He checked his clothes in the mirror one last time, grabbed the flowers and left the house. 

Minutes later he reached Grace's house, got out of his car and knocked on the door. It wasn't that late yet, and he was probably a bit early, but better than too late. 

Grace's father opened the door and greeted him friendly. "Adrian, always great to see you!" the man said, laying a hand on his shoulder and softly pushing him inside the house. "Darling? Grace? Adrian's here!"

Grace closed the laptop and walked to the hallway, suddenly feeling insecure now her parents were around. They wouldn't allow them to go to her room and it would take at least half an hour before dinner was ready. They would be around all the time. "Hey," she greeted him, shyly smiling.

"Hey, your mom invited me over," he informed her, although she probably already knew that and now he felt embarrassed, but he didn't know what else to say.

Grace nodded. "Yeah, she told me. Well, come in, it's a bit changed since the last time you were here," she winked. She brought him into the living room, where they sat down on the couch. Luckily her parents gave them some privacy after greeting the man, so that they could talk a bit in private.

"Oh, I'm sure. You still need help with something?" he asked. The house was already beautiful. Some people needed months to get everything together after they moved, but not this family. "Oh and... here," Adrian gave her the flowers and rubbed his neck. He was glad that her parents gave them some privacy. Not that he didn't like them, but he always felt a little uncomfortable when more people were around he didn't knew that well yet.

Grace took the flowers, it was making all this even more uncomfortable. She gave them to her mother who was in the kitchen, looking at her with a way too wide smile. She already considered him as the perfect son-in-law and for some reason it made her a bit sad. She returned to Adrian. "How eh, how was your day?"

Adrian looked at the girl and he had to admit that she was really beautiful. Plus, she was just like him, he thought. His parents would love her. "A bit boring, but now I'm here. How was your day? Anything exciting happened?"

Her whole day had been a big wave of excitement, but she couldn't tell him about Juice. Instead, she focused on her friend. "Faye, my friend who lives close by, got into a car accident and it was pretty bad. She's... broken." She sighed softly, thinking back to the tears she had shed.

Adrian's mouth dropped open as he heard what Grace said. "Faye Morrow? Holy... is she all right? I mean, is it life-threatening?" he asked hastily, running a hand across his head. "Are you okay? Where you with her?" Of course it shocked him, they had been together for months and they had always been good friends in school.

"No, I wasn't. You know her?" She didn't know why she was surprised; they were of the same age and Charming was just a small town. Their worlds just seemed to be too different. "She has broken a few ribs and her ovaries have been damaged." She sighed softly. "She'll never have children. It's so horrible." She didn't know if her friend was okay with sharing the information, but she couldn't hold herself back. It was just so awful, it still shocked her.

"Yes, we were in school together and we also were a couple once," he explained and he couldn't believe what he heard. "That's horrible. I hope she has enough strength to go through this." He laid a hand on Grace' shoulder because it probably wasn't easy for her either. "I'm sorry... that this happened to one of your friends."

They had been a couple? Grace couldn't believe her ears. Why had she never said anything? She had been in a relationship with a Christian boy ‒ someone like her. It clearly hadn't worked out as planned, which made her fear for her future with Juice again. She laid her hand on his and smiled gratefully. "I just wish I could make her feel better." She sighed and looked at him again. "So you were a couple? When ‒ and for how long? Why did you two break up?" Her cheeks flushed, it felt like she was interrogating him.

He squeezed her hand slightly. "We were a couples for around four months and broke up a little over a year now. She told me that she had feelings for someone else." A soft sigh left his lips. "I'm just glad that she was honest. Is she with someone now? I don't know who it was, but one of those bikers."

"She's with no one," Grace answered. "She still has those feelings, though..." Maybe it wasn't up to her to tell him, but she felt sorry for him that Faye had had feelings for Happy when she was with Adrian and she wanted him to know that hadn't changed, which would make their break-up a good decision. "Did it never bother you?" she asked. "Being around the club? She eh – took me to a party once. It was... Something else," she entrusted him on a soft tone, quickly peeking at her parents. Her mother was giving them brief glances and her eyes were shining. Grace became aware of her hand still covering his on her shoulder and she moved her hand away before she created a wrong impression.

Adrian was over her. Sure, sometimes he regretted some things, but as it seemed Faye still had those feelings for this guy. "I wasn't much around the club, she respected my wish to meet at my house or in town. I was there only two or three times. But it bothered me that she was part of the club. It's just... dangerous." He didn't want to say anything bad or sound rude, but he didn't like the fact that Grace had been at one of their parties. "You will be there more often?" Adrian asked and he also moved his hand from her shoulder. 

"I don't know. The only time I was there I didn't feel very comfortable, but I've met some of her friends now and they're no bad company," she asked. The thought of Juice made butterflies race in her stomach again and she couldn't stop the pink glow that she felt spreading across her cheeks.

"No, not all of them. Just be careful, okay? You're a nice girl and I don't want you to get hurt," he said seriously, but then he smiled again. Adrian noticed her rosy cheeks very well. "Don't tell me you met a guy," he chuckled and he looked around if her parents heard anything, but they didn't. 

Talking about another guy surely took away some of the tension between them, and she had to admit it would be a relief to talk with someone about it who really understood her opinion. "Maybe I did," she admitted with slight smile, squeezing her hands because saying it out loud was exciting.

Adrian had to think first before he'd answer. He couldn't judge her at all. Faye wasn't a member, but still part of the club and he had been with her. "Seems like you really like him. Who is it?" It was a pretty private question and of course Grace didn't need to answer, he'd understand that. 

Grace toyed with the little crucifix around her neck. Should she tell him? Juice was Faye's best friend, they would know each other. But he was such a sweet guy, she couldn't imagine Adrian would have problems with him. And if she needed real advice one day, he should at least know about who he was talking. "Juice..." she said after a while. Speaking out his name in her own house increased her body warmth and her heart beat raced higher.

Oh great, Juice. Did it really have to be him? Maybe he wasn't a bad guy, but he often had made fun of him. Sometimes Juice had looked at him like he was from another planet. "Oh, well..." Adrian wasn't sure what to answer, but it felt good that Grace had told him. "I know him, Faye's best friend. I think he's okay!" He rubbed his hands together. Why were those biker guys so exciting for everyone?

He didn't look all too happy about it, Grace realized. Before they could say another word about it, her mother called. "Dinner's ready!" 

They sat down around the table. Grace wondered if Adrian realized that it was the first time a male friend had come over for dinner, but probably not. She knew she couldn't elaborate on their current topic now her parents were sitting here, and the silence was making her nervous. It didn't take long before her thoughts wandered to Juice. Would he ever sit around this table, with her parents? She tried to picture him at Adrian's place, who was now talking to her father about some renovations of the church that he wanted to discuss with the church board, but she couldn't think of even one common interest. She pricked in her food, wondering with who Juice would be now. Had he gone back to Faye? Was there a chance he would be with another girl tonight? There was nothing serious between them, maybe he wanted to enjoy sex as long as he could. 

"Don't you like the food, Grace?" her mother asked. 

"I'm just not hungry," she muttered, sighing. "It was a tough day." 

Her mother nodded silently, probably realizing she had chosen a really bad timing for her Cupid moves. 

"You're going to the hospital tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Yeah. You know... all her friends are male and sure, I'll never really know what she's going through, but I might relate better to her loss than the others..."

Grace's father looked at his daughter. "She only has male friends ?" he asked a bit restlessly. He knew with which people Faye spent her time and he wasn't happy about it. Although the girl next door was nice and polite, he was afraid that she might have a bad influence on his daughter. "Then maybe it'll be good for you to keep her company. But you'll be alone with her, right?" He just didn't want her to mess with the bikers. Faye was okay, but they didn't want Grace to hang around with the others. Just because they liked Faye, didn't mean that he had to accept the rest of the biker family.

Grace had never lied to her parents. She had kept things from them, but she had never lied straight to their faces and she hoped she never would have to. "I can't control the others," she answered. "I don't know if anyone will stop by. But they will be there for her anyway." She didn't like her father's tone. Something had definitely changed since Kip had picked her up earlier today.

Grace' father sighed. He didn't want to argue with his daughter, they never had any problems. "I know, sweetheart. But I don't want them to be around you. Those guys..." he broke the sentence because he noticed how rude that sounded. He was the minister, a church man, he shouldn't judge other people.But this was a different situation, this was about his daughter. "Please just stay away from them. We're okay if you want to meet Faye, and she can come over whenever she wants."

Grace stared at the table top. His words hurt, even though she had expected them. "Some of them are truly friendly," she said softly.

"Some of them are really nice," Adrian said quickly as he looked at Grace briefly. It must be awful to like someone when your parents didn't. 

"It's okay. I'm just worried about you, Grace. I'm your father, I always will be worried," the older man said to his daughter, sighing.

There was a grateful smile around Grace's lips, because of both men. She knew her father just wanted the best for her, and he might even be right. It was dangerous to be around Juice, sometimes he still felt like the doorway to Satan's realm, but he was also sweet and understanding and different from the other guys she'd seen there. "I know," she said, looking up. "But I'm careful. I just want to be friendly and not judge them. That's what Jesus taught us, right?"

Her father nodded briefly, proud to hear those words from her. "Yes, that's right. I'll give my best not to judge any of them," he replied with a smile. But if anything would happen to his daughter, not even Jesus could help those bikers anymore. 

Grace smiled thankfully, even though she had the feeling that would change as soon as he found out she had kissed one of them today. She focused on her food again and tried to participate a bit in the conversation as the hour passed by.

When dinner was over, she wanted to help to clean things up. However, her mother waved her away and suggested they could get some fresh air if they wanted. Grace, already relieved she could be relieved from her parents for a while, muttered that might be a good idea. She picked up her phone from the coffee table. A bit nervously she checked if Juice had already sent her a message, but he hadn't. Trying not to feel disappointed because there was absolutely no reason to, she shoved away the device in her pocket and turned to Adrian. "You want some fresh air?"

"Yeah, why not! Maybe we can go to the park?" he asked her, smiling briefly. Maybe he could help her to think about something else than Juice. Maybe she'd even forget him soon, that'd be the best. 

Grace nodded, and a while later they walked through the park. She tried to drift her thoughts away from Juice, asking questions about Adrian's work and telling about her own new work.

Adrian listened to her words, glad that she had found a job here. But who wouldn't give her a job? "You like it there? Or do you want to find something else one day?" 

"It's fine for now, I don't know what I want to do in the future. I want to work in an orphanage for a few months of maybe even years, somewhere in Africa or Latin America, so I'm saving all the money I earn now."

"Oh, sounds great! Don't the church help people with such plans? Maybe you don't even need go work for years to get there." He liked her plan, that was something he'd love to do, too. And she'd be away from the club. 

Grace thought about that. "You might be right. Maybe we can organize a fundraiser or something. We could go with a part of the church youth," she answered enthusiastically.

"Yeah! That would be awesome. I'm pretty sure a few people would be interested to join, including me!" He was excited about this. Could they really do this? Sure, why not? "I could talk with the other church members later or tomorrow." 

A bright smile adorned her face. Doing something like that on her own had scared her a little, but she had still wanted to pull it through. But setting up something like this with other people, she definitely liked that. "That would be great!"

Seeing her smile like this gave him a warm feeling. He was glad that he had mentioned the topic, otherwise he maybe wouldn't have seen that beautiful smile. "Okay great, let's do this! Can't wait for the result." Adrian smiled at the blonde girl. "I have a question: did your parents actually invited me to pair us up?" There was a soft chuckle leaving his lips. 

Grace felt a bit relieved when he asked that question, so they could talk openly about it. "I think so," she admitted. "They have never done something like this before. I told them I had no such feelings for you, but my mom didn't seem to care much." She sighed. "I'm sorry. Sometimes they are so nosy."

Adrian couldn't even be mad at them. It was even kinda funny that they made it so obvious. "I think they're trying to do the best for you. I'm sure my mom would've done that too." He squeezed her shoulder briefly. "Don't apologize, it's okay." 

* * *

Juice sat in his room. He already knew from Jax what they had done to the guy and he definitely had deserved it. Every now and then he considered to distract himself with some croweater, but all he could think about was the date. With a little hesitation, he pulled out his phone of his pocket and send Grace a message. _Hey. When do you have time tomorrow?_  He looked at the message again before he sent it. Hopefully she still wanted this. 

* * *

Grace smiled gratefully. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she apologized to Adrian, telling him it could be Faye. With all her heart however she hoped it was Juice, and her cheeks flushed as she opened the text from the unknown sender. It was a simple massage, which even disappointed her a bit. Part of her had hoped for a bit more flirty text, even though that was stupid to think. She wouldn't even know how to do that herself. But that last grin he had shown her... it had made her think of the confidence he had shown her when they just met. _I think I'm going to Faye around 1 AM, maybe around 11_? she texted back, where after she looked back to Adrian again.

"Was it Faye?" he asked, worry in his eyes. 

She shook her head. "No. I eh, I'm going to grab a coffee with Juice tomorrow," she admitted. "But he would still text me the time and place."

* * *

Juice smiled as Grace texted back so fast. Okay, they still had their date.  _Sounds good. Can't wait to see you again_ , he answered, adding one of those wink smileys. He didn't want to flirt, or did he? Yeah, he actually wanted to, but he was also afraid that it would be too much for her. 

"What's going on with you?" he quietly asked himself, shaking his head. He would take off his cut for her and he was afraid to flirt,  _afraid_! Grace wrapped him around her finger and he had no idea where it would lead them. 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey uh, I saw I forgot to update a chapter, number 11, so it might be wise to check it out. ;p

Happy had removed various strips of skin from the man's face, arms, chest, legs and genitals. He was bleeding out of countless wounds, but they were surface wounds and it would take some time before he bled to death. "Wanna finish it?" he asked Jax.

Jax put the camera aside when Happy was done. The guy looked really... awful. Nevertheless, he still deserved it. Most of the time the guy had moaned and screamed in pain and he was glad they'd gagged him. "Yeah," he nodded, grabbing his gun and shooting the guy right in the head. There however was one other thing that was on his mind since Happy had talked to Faye. "Haven't seen you that pissed in a while."

"They never messed with our girls before huh?" Happy shot back. He indeed was pissed and he didn't feel ashamed for it. Faye was part of the club, of his life, and her future was crushed now because of some dumb Arian dick.

 "Relax. Was just askin'." Jax put his gun away. "Everything's recorded." He handed Happy the camera, put on his gloves and started to clean everything up. "You can go if you want, I'll call Tig or Ope to help me." He was glad the guy was dead and it hadn't been a quick death. This shit however meant war.

Happy hesitated. There was nothing wrong with burying bodies, but Jax's remark to relax annoyed him and he still felt obliged to talk with the girl in the hospital. He grabbed the camera so he could give it to her, it wasn't something she should do alone, even though he was the worst comforter he could think of. He said goodbye to Jax and took off to the hospital, hoping there were still visitor hours now it was around dinner time.

* * *

Faye still sat in her bed, sometimes a nurse came by to give her more painkillers or water. She really needed those pills right now, and not only because of the pain. She was nervous, so nervous. Were Happy and Jax all right? Had everything gone well or had they got caught? She shook her head as the nurse asked her if she wanted to eat. She wasn't hungry at all, especially not after the news.

Happy didn't know if he should knock or call her name or whatever, but in the end he just rushed into the room and kept standing a few steps away from her. Seeing her bleak face and her red eyes just squeezed his heart. "Hey," he said, his voice raspy.

Faye looked up when someone opened the door. When she saw it was Happy her heartbeat got faster. Good, they didn't get caught. Almost relieved, she looked at him. His raspy voice was all she wanted to hear right now. "Hey..." she said quietly as she sat up.

Happy moved closer to her. He didn't know what to say or do, he wasn't good in this emotional shit. What the hell did one say to someone who had just lost her dream to ever have kids? There was no use in asking how she felt; he could see that very well. "They good to you?" he asked, briefly looking around in the room. There were two other people, but they both seemed to sleep.

Faye neither knew what to say. All he had to know, he knew. "Yeah, they are. But I still wanna go home. I don't like hospitals." She shrugged briefly. "Thank you again for... you know..." The girl played with some strands of her hair. "Sorry that I asked you to bring my stuff. Guess I just wanted to have you around." She felt really bad about it, that's why she decided to tell him the truth. Happy knew about her feelings for him anyway.

Happy felt stupid for not having thought about that. All he did, was feeling pissed off because she'd asked him something like that. "'s okay." He handed her the camera. "Here's the vid. Hope it's worth it."

She took the camera and patted with her hand on the bed for him to sit down. She really didn't want to watch the video alone. The other two people in the room were asleep and full with painkillers, they wouldn't notice a thing. "I just hope they won't mess with the club again," she muttered.

'We'll make sure they won't," he promised her, taking a seat next to her. He felt uncomfortable sitting next to her. Despite her current situation his thoughts shot back to the last time they had been close, to the way he had made her beg to be fucked by him. Shame churned his guts, even in a heavier way than before. He wondered if she could ever have sex again without being confronted with the fact that she couldn't have kids. 

Faye nodded briefly. When he sat down next to her, those butterflies in her stomach were back immediately. She hesitated but after a few seconds she leaned against him and pressed the play button. Holy shit, that was something she had never seen before and it scared her that she didn't feel bad for the guy who was suffering a lot. Her hands trembled slightly while a lump formed in her throat.

Happy noticed how she tensed. Not because of what he did to the man, but it had to be hard to see the one who had caused her so much pain. Even though he had never laid an arm around a girl to comfort her, he just knew she needed it as she leaned into his shoulder. He swung his arm around her, holding her, as he also looked at himself reshaping that asshole. 

Faye relaxed a little as his arm was around her shoulder. Without noticing she snuggled into him. She just needed this right now. Happy did everything she had asked for. He had let this asshole suffer in some brutal ways. This guy was gone for good and she felt relieved. But the feeling of revenge was still there. Since she had found out that she couldn't have kids anymore, there was a big hole inside of her. "Is it wrong that I don't feel bad for him at all? Like... he deserved it, right?" The girl turned her head to look at Happy. 

"You know he deserved it," Happy answered bluntly. "He deserved a lot more than what I did to him." He wouldn't have mind to have stretched his suffering across the whole evening, but the chance of discovery would have been too big.

"He did," she agreed and she put the camera away after the video was over. Those images wouldn't leave her thoughts so soon. "It's so unfair. We haven't done anything to them. And now... they..." Faye shook her head, tears forming in her eyes again. No, not again ‒ she never cried so much in just a few hours. The girl leaned her forehead against his jawline and buried her face into his neck.

Happy felt like shit, still not knowing what to say or do. But she seemed to find strength by leaning into him and he rubbed between her shoulder blades.

Faye closed her eyes. His closeness, his scent, his presence ‒ all this made her feel a bit better. She rested her arm on his stomach and slowly she was able to fall asleep. But she knew that as soon as he'd be gone, she wouldn't be able to sleep again and that's why a part of her hoped that he'd stay with her this night.

From the corner of her eyes he looked to the side. Her face was a little more relaxed and she had closed her eyes. He had no idea how he had done it, but she still seemed to draw strength from his presence and it gave him a satisfied feeling.

* * *

Faye actually slept pretty good, but as a nurse came in a while later to check on her wound, she couldn't fall asleep again. "See, that's why I don't like hospitals. They don't even let you sleep," she murmured softly, being glad that Happy was still there. "Thanks for staying by the way. I thought I could handle it alone... but I can't," Faye admitted softly and she leaned against him again, looking up at him. Her fingertips slowly wandered to the back of his neck. There was this silence again and the urge to be even closer to him rose inside her.

Happy had actually wanted to leave a couple of times, but only because she made him feel insecure and he just wanted to flee from that strange sensation. However, he had been afraid to wake her up and after hearing those words, he realized he had done the right thing. She needed him. He should ignore everything else. He breathed in sharply as her fingertips moved across his skin. He looked into her eyes, saw the longing in it. He couldn't give her that, right? He felt the urge to kiss her, to ease her pain with his lips. It was the last thing he could do to help her, to make her feel a little bit better. Carefully, his thumb brushed her cheek. His lips felt dry, and then hers were upon his and he gently slipped his tongue inside her mouth, between her slightly bruised lips.

For a moment Faye forgot everything what had happened today. She could even ignore the pain in her body. Her hand rested on his neck, her fingers still stroked the back of it in a gentle way.

* * *

Miles had bought a bouquet of flowers at the hospital shop and was on his way to Faye. It was his turn to stand guard and relieving Rat. He was a little afraid the flowers would be too much; on the other hand she was his President's daughter and she was injured pretty bad. He felt a bit guilty for looking forward to spend some time with her alone, it was just an occasion that rarely happened. He greeted his friend who was sitting a bit away from her room, with clear sight on who entered the building. Rat told him that Happy was around too, which gave him a twisted feeling in the stomach. That guy was always hitting on his nerves. Still he decided to go inside, there was nothing wrong about asking how she felt and giving her flowers, right? He walked up to her room and just rounded the corner as he saw the two, kissing. He widened his eyes in surprise, not for a moment he had counted on an encounter like this. What should he do? Clear his throat, walk away? His eyes were just glued to their faces and all he could think of, was how badly he had wanted to be the one inside her mouth now.

* * *

Faye still enjoyed the kiss as they both had deepened it. After a few more seconds she broke the kiss. Her lips wandered to the corner of his mouth to place another soft kiss there before she pecked his lips one more time. She didn't move. Her feelings for him got deeper every day.

Happy couldn't remember he had ever kissed a woman without the intention to have sex with her, so this was kinda new for him and he was a little shocked to discover that he wasn't just doing this for her, but that he really enjoyed it himself too. Suddenly he heard footsteps. Immediately he pulled his head back and looked at the doorway. A prospect was standing there, his eyes wide. "Fuck," he grunted under his breath.

"What?" Faye she asked confused, but then she turned her head a little. "Shit..." She ran a hand across her face as she saw Miles in the doorway. This was a very bad timing.

Happy glared at the man. "If you tell this to anyone, I'ma cut your eyes out." He knew it might be a dumb move to threaten him to not tell their President something, but it was just the first solution that came up in his mind and Miles' pale face already told him he would keep his mouth shut, at least for the time being.

"Seriously, don't tell this to anyone, Miles," she said and she looked at the man in despair. She knew that Clay wouldn't be happy about this, not in the beginning at least. And the last thing she wanted now was Happy to have problems. But Miles' face was now probably paler than hers, so that had to mean something.

Miles quickly nodded and turned around. Happy swallowed a sigh. This was just great. "I better go," he said to Faye. He had been stupid; what if Jax or Clay had been the one stopping by? Everybody could just walk in!

Faye let out a sigh. "Yeah... maybe for the best." Her own words hurt her. The girl wanted him here, with her ‒ but it was better, he was right. "Could... you come tomorrow again? I just feel safer when you're here." She looked at him almost desperately with her green eyes.

Happy hesitated. If he made her feel safe, he wanted to be here. But he was no fool; it would look suspicious. They had never spent much time together. "I'll stop by," he promised. "Dunno know how long I should stay, however."


	21. Chapter 21

Grace and Adrian kept talking about their plans to organize a fundraiser for quite some time, until Grace felt tired. It had been a long day; a good sleep wouldn't be so bad. If she would even be able to sleep, the thought that she would spend some time alone with Juice tomorrow was already keeping her thoughts occupied. Adrian walked her home and said goodbye to her parents, and Grace took a shower and laid down on her bed where she wanted to continue to read her book. She thought about Juice's text again, which she hadn't answered yet. She opened it again and smiled as she read that he couldn't wait to see her. With a big smile she hugged the pillow on her lap on which her book had rested. Should she send an answer? More than two hours had passed since she had received the message, wouldn't it be weird to answer so late? And what would she say? Just that she wanted to see him too? Suddenly she remembered another question that she had wanted to ask him; if he could download some movies for her which she could watch with Faye tomorrow. Should she text it? Or would she dare to call him? Now she was sitting here all alone she wanted nothing more than hearing his voice, even though the prospect to call him made her very nervous. But still, she wanted to cross her boundaries, try some things, for she had the feeling that Juice was the only one who was trying to make this work. Calling him so late however also dreaded her. What if he wasn't alone? What if he was together with another woman right now? Or hanging out with his friends? Sure, the call wouldn't take long, but maybe he would find it weird that she called. On the other hand; she needed a fast answer. If he had no time to do it for her, she had to find another way to take movies to the hospital. She took a deep breath, pushed away her nerves and called him.

Juice sat in the club, drinking a beer with the others. Not many were around at the moment, only two prospects, Clay and Gemma. Piney and Bobby just joined them. They all again talked about what happened and about the guy who was dead now. Everyone was relieved, but they also knew that Darby had more than just one guy. Who knows what they'd do to the club ‒ all of those nazipricks had a sick mind. As they changed the topic, his thoughts drifted off to Grace. He had sent the text around two hours ago and there was no answer yet, but maybe she was already sleeping? It had been a rough day. When he however heard his phone buzzing a couple of minutes later, a smile formed on his lips even before he knew who it was. Quickly, he checked screen ‒ and it was Grace. Juice stood up, went to his dorm and picked up. "Hey..." He said, running a hand over his mohawk. The smile was still on his face.

Grace felt heat radiating from her stomach, the moment she heard his voice. Immediately she felt nervous ‒ and stupid. "Hey," she said. "I eh ‒ wanted to ask you something." She focused on the things she wanted to say, pretending it was just Adrian she spoke to. "Since... you're good with computers. I wanted to watch some movies on my laptop tomorrow with Faye, but I don't know how to eh, download them," she said with a slight blush. She knew half of the world was doing it, but it still was illegal and even though she wanted to do it out of a good heart and would remove them tomorrow night, it still felt wrong. "I thought, eh hoped, that maybe you could do it for me?"

Juice had sat down on the edge of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees. His smile turned into a grin at her question. It was kinda cute that she asked him, and this meant they could spend even more time together. It was something illegal and he wasn't surprised that she never had done something like that. "I can do that, no problem. Bring your laptop with you tomorrow, okay? Or would you mind coming here?" he asked carefully. He knew that she wasn't a big fan of being around here, but it was better and easier to do it here.

Grace had actually thought that he would just put some movies on an usb-stick, but apparently it didn't work that way. The thought of going into the clubhouse alone was already dreading her, but she assumed they needed internet and having a coffee date while there was a laptop between them on the table wasn't exactly wat she had in mind. "No, I eh, I can come by," she said. If she wanted this to work, she would have to get used to his friends anyway. And he would hide his motor jacket for her, so it felt like a small sacrifice to make herself.

"Okay cool. And after that we can have a coffee." He wanted to make sure that she still wanted this date. "Are you okay, Grace? It was a rough day and... it wasn't easy for you either." Juice really cared about her, cared about how she was feeling.

Grace's lips turned into a smile as she heard his question and his worried tone. Even if she had felt horrible, this would have made her feel much better. "My mom asked a friend from church over for dinner. She was obviously trying to pair us up, which was awkward, but in the end I was glad he was around to distract me." Maybe Juice had no interest in how her evening had been at all, but she didn't want to hang up. The thought that he would talk to her instead of one of those girls who wanted to sleep with him, just eased her mind a little.

His body tensed as Grace mentioned that her parents tried to pair her up with someone else, but it seemed like Grace had no interest in that, which made him relax again immediately. Almost a sigh of relief left his lips. "Wow, I'd freak out if my parents would pair me up," he chuckled. But at least she still had parents who cared about her, that was a thing she could be glad of. "I'm glad there was someone who could distract you."

His answer made her chuckle. She didn't exactly know how old he was, but she estimated him around his thirties and it would have been really weird if his parents would still have a say in his love live. "Yeah, I'm happy about that too. He eh, was shocked too. Apparently Faye is his ex girlfriend."

"Poor guy, was probably completely overwhelmed. But I think he ‒" he broke the sentence and stopped laughing, instead his face was turning pale now. "Was it Adrian?" Juice asked, his voice sounding a bit shocked.

"Yes, Adrian! I already figured you knew each other." She smiled.

"Yeah, we do..." he answered. "But not very well."

A silence fell, and Grace didn't know what to say. Adrian wasn't an interesting topic at all. "How was your day? I hope I wasn't disturbing you?" she asked, a bit nervous. Maybe he just wanted to end the call.

Juice was lost in thoughts for a moment but he quickly pulled himself out of them. "No, you didn't. You can call me anytime! And well, we found out who hit Faye's car... some random guy." He cleared his throat and didn't like it at all that he had to lie.

"Oh... Was he injured as well?" she asked, biting her lip.

"No, he wasn't, not a bit." At least that wasn't a lie. "I'm not sure what happens next, but probably nothing."

"Okay! Luckily no one else is in pain," she sighed in relief. Twisting a curl around her finger she realized how much she enjoyed his voice, even when the topic was so tough. She tried to picture him. Was he in his room? She heard no other voices. Was he sitting on his bed? Maybe he was just done showering and shirtless. Her cheeks got warm, shame was suddenly waving over her, making her breathing speed up. Did she really just think that?

"Yeah..." was all he could say. This fucker deserved what he got, but when he'd tell her that, she'd probably never call or look at him again. There was a silence again, but not an awkward one. Juice closed his eyes, imaging her pretty face, her beautiful curls hanging over her shoulders, her perfect body. It would be nice having her here, holding her in his arms, kissing her... His thoughts drifted off more and more.

Grace toyed with her necklace while listening to his breathing. It was a comforting sound, especially when it was getting deeper. "What are you thinking about?" she asked after a while, her mouth feeling dry. Her fingertips tingled. It was a very personal question and she didn't know if she would dare to be honest about it herself, but asking it gave her an exciting feeling and he made her forget about Faye's sadness for a moment.

Now his mouth felt dry. Her question made him swallow. Should he tell her the truth? Well, no risk no fun. "Right now? I'm thinking about you." He breathed out, heat rose in his body. "What are you thinking about, hmm?" Deep inside he was hoping for the same answer.

She laid a hand against her chest, where her heart was beating like crazy. Was that the answer she had wanted to hear? Yes, it was. There was something intimate about it, thinking about each other while they couldn't even see each other. What had he been thinking? She had pictured him without his shirt and how it would be to feel his skin under her fingertips and she had wondered if there would be ink on his chest. Something told her his mind might have gone a step further, which gave her a twisted feeling in the stomach. She however didn't dare to ask it, even though she was dying to know it. "I ‒ I was thinking about you too," she said softly, feeling both shame and a strange but comforting warmth swirl through her body.

Oh shit, this girl would be the death of him. She said exactly what he wanted to hear. Hearing her soft voice, speaking out those words made him shiver. How would it be to go further, to hear her soft moans through the phone? He took a deeper breath and tried to stay cool. "Yeah? What are you thinking exactly?" He made sure that his voice sounded nice and soft, he didn't want to mess things up again.

Grace closed her eyes for a moment. Was this wrong? Sharing her fantasies with someone? Or was this normal, was this something people did when they were interested in each other? Tension arose inside her. "I ‒ I just tried to picture where you'd be. I heard no voices so I thought about your room and then I just..." She bit her lip, breathing shakily. "I pictured that you were just done showering and still shirtless. And..." Her voice trailed off. She held her breath. This was stupid, right? Her cheeks felt hot ‒ no her whole body felt hot and she folded back the blankets.

Juice listened to her closely, and he had to swallow a few times. Was that really Grace? Yes, he could hear the uncertainty in her voice.  "And what?" he asked, his voice now a little darker, quieter. She was certainly alone in her room, otherwise she would never have talked to him like that. What was she wearing? Pajamas? Her normal clothes? Or maybe she just slept in her underwear and already wore it? Shit, it was getting tighter in his jeans.

The tone of his voice gave her goosebumps all over her body. She swallowed, closing her eyes, imagining she was there with him. "Then I would be there, straddled on your lap, my lips gliding down your neck... and my fingers... my fingers would caress your chest. And I... I would wonder how your skin and your muscles would feel and if there are tattoos..." She opened her eyes again, swallowing hard. Insecurity crept back in her mind. Would he laugh at her? Nervously she bit the finger nail of her pink, waiting his response while sweat drops were itching her neck.

Juice just sat there on his bed, his lips slightly parted. Holy shit, the girl really knew how to drive him crazy. He clamped the phone between his ear and shoulder, sat more comfortably on the bed and leaned back against the pillows. He simply had to loosen his jeans because it was getting too tight. "You would do that, yeah? Well, while you're straddled on my lap, my fingertips would glide across your soft skin, across your chest, your thighs. My lips would touch your lips, our tongues would dance together..." He breathed into the phone, rubbed his crotch briefly and he couldn't suppress a slight groan. "Wanna tell me what you're wearin'?" he asked, his voice still dark but also soft.

Grace felt how she tensed, how there was a pounding, strange feeling in her lower abdomen. She had heard a barely audible groan, and his voice was different now, lower, hoarser. Her fingers traveled across her pajamas to the places he had mentioned, imagining it was him. "I'm eh, I'm wearing my pajamas. A plush checkered pants in red, white and blue... and a dark blue knit top," she answered, bowing her head a bit because there was nothing sexy about it and it would certainly not be what he wanted to hear. Should she have made up something?

Juice laid there, his hand snaked around his member, which was pretty hard already. A small grin formed on his lips as the girl described what she was wearing. Sure, it wasn't something super hot, but he didn't care at all. "Maybe you can take off your top, then run your fingers across your chest..." He almost panted at the thought. "Because I'd let my fingertips run over your soft skin, your breasts ‒ while my lips would place kisses on your neck..." At his own words he started to move his hand up and down in a slow rhythm.

The nerves were plaguing her again. Was this wrong? Part of her knew it was, and another part of her was just... fascinated. She had never done anything like this before and it was so thrilling. The way he talked, it was just... mesmerizing. Her hand slipped underneath her shirt, her fingers stroked the curve of her right breast and pushed against her nipple until it got hard. She imagined his lips gliding down her neck, his fingers playing with her breasts, and before she realized it, she let out a soft moan, followed by a sigh. Tension built up inside her, filling her with little flames everywhere. "Are you..." She didn't know how to formulate her question. What if he was just leaning back, chuckling because she was stupid enough to do it?

Everything in him tingled as he touched himself, just because he pretended it was her touching him. He closed his eyes, the phone still pressed firmly to his ear. When he heard her soft moan, he breathed out shakily and also a soft moan escaped him as he built more pressure and moved his hand a little faster. "Am I what?" he asked in a hoarse voice, a mischievous grin on his lips. He enjoyed this, hopefully it wouldn't destroy anything between them.

Grace bowed her head. Her hand moved away from her skin and suddenly she felt cold. "Are you... Am I making a fool of myself?" she whispered, not being able to imagine what he would be doing himself. Where was the fun for him? Just listening how her breathing changed? "Is this a joke?" She couldn't imagine he was caressing his own chest as well and she just felt dumb for doing it herself.

Juice frowned. Well, this conversation changed quickly. "What? No!" He shook his head even though she couldn't see it. He sat up quickly, took away his hand from his crotch and sighed deeply. "Why would I do that? You really think that of me? Shit Grace, since the moment I saw you I can't get you out of my head. And you know that," he explained, trying not to sound too disappointed.

Grace sighed, suddenly close to tears. The hurt in his voice didn't go by unnoticed and even though she didn't know the man too well, she heard he was honest. She took a deep breathe. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just... I have never done this before." Which he obviously knew. "And..." She trailed off, contemplating her next words. "I just... I just couldn't imagine what you would like about this. Since I'm the one... touching myself and imagining you and..." She swallowed. Her head was a mess, she had a hard time focusing her thoughts. "I just... I don't know how this works," she admitted softly.

Now he almost felt sorry. Sure, he wasn't rude to her or something, but he also knew that she had never done this before. "Yeah, I'm sorry too. But I don't understand why you would think that I'd make fun of you." His voice was quieter now, way softer again. "Why wouldn't I like this? It's... great to hear how much you liked it. Imagining how you touch yourself is enough to get a man going." He was completely honest about that, even if he'd scare her with his words. His features softened and he leaned back again.   
  
"Okay," she said softly, still feeling embarrassed. She just wished she had never mentioned it, the mood was definitely killed now. It was hard to imagine that listening to her and imagining things was really something that he rather did than spending time with the tens of women who were willing to have real sex with him. "Sorry," she said, "for... ruining this." She wrapped the blanket a little tighter around her. Suddenly she just wished he was here. Not to be touched by him, she just wished he would be here to hold her, to cuddle.

Juice sighed. The mood was definitely killed, but he was glad that she didn't hung up, that she told him how she felt.  "Maybe you'll feel a little better when I tell you that I've never done this before either," he told her and now he was the one blushing. He really never had phone sex before. 

"You... You didn't?" she asked overwhelmed. She hadn't thought there would be anything that would be new for him too and his words made her smile a bit. "That eh... does help," she admitted.

"Yeah it was new for me too," he answered as the corners of his mouth lifted up a little. "I hope we still have our date tomorrow, let's just... not talk about this again," he suggested, hoping that would help her not to be that embarrassed.

Grace thought about the date tomorrow, which she had forgotten, it seemed. Would she dare to look him in the eye tomorrow? She had her doubts, but she needed to see him because of the movies anyway. "Yeah, let's just pretend this never happened," she muttered, even though she knew she would never forget about it.

That she still wanted the date made him sigh in relief. Thank god. But he'd probably be a little embarrassed, too. "Sure, let's do this," he said but he knew as well that he wouldn't forget her voice, her soft moans as she touched herself. "And now get some sleep, okay?"

Grace feared the night, feared the dreams that she would have. Still she nodded. "Okay. Goodnight, Juice."

"Goodnight, Grace. Sleep well," he said softly before he hung up. Juice smiled like an idiot. It was a great feeling that rose in his body. Now he just hoped he wouldn't mess it up tomorrow.

He tried to fall asleep for a while, but it didn't happen. First, because he kept thinking about Grace, and second, because he still had a boner. But today he wouldn't even think about getting one of the whores that he used to take to his room, he would rather finish it himself and think of the girl with the blonde curls. Said and done, he slipped his hand inside his boxers and gave himself a hand job. He thought about how he would have loved to hear her moan live, to watch her touch her breasts. Groaning and closing his eyes, he imagined that Grace would be the one giving him a hand job now. He pictured her fingers around his hard member and it made him shiver and grunt. "Fuck." With a gasp, he released and he felt how his body completely tensed. 

After he had cleaned himself, he let himself fall onto the mattress and closed his eyes satisfied. Tonight he would definitely be able to sleep well. And now he wanted Grace even more, he wanted her to be his Old Lady. No matter how long it would take.


	22. Chapter 22

Happy had returned to the clubhouse. The whole Miles-thing was still bothering him, but he didn't know what to do about it. Threatening him once more might only make things worse. He cursed himself for being so careless; everyone could have stepped in. What if it had been Clay or Gemma? With a deep sigh he ordered a beer and took a few sips. This whole thing with Faye was confusing him. On the one hand he wanted to make her feel better, he felt obliged to do so, on the other hand he knew he would only hurt her in the end. But wasn't it better to spread the pain a bit? She could barely feel worse than she was doing now and he had told her very clearly he wasn't looking for a relationship. Maybe she didn't even want that. Maybe all she wanted, was being distracted. His eyes wandered across the Croweaters. He was in for some distraction himself too, but when his eye caught Rowena he felt revulsion. It felt disrespectful, blowing off steam with a whore right after kissing Faye. Maybe he could better stick to a hand job himself while calling up memories of the only night they had spent together. He knew she wouldn't feel ashamed of that, she'd definitely like it better than that he would lay down with another woman.

* * *

Faye stared at the ceiling because she just couldn't sleep, so she would probably spend the rest of the night awake. Her eyes fell on the camera, which was still lying next to her. With her fingertips she stroked it and swallowed. This man had managed to break her, and she didn't know how long it would take until she would feel well again. But the thought of Happy who distracted her made it a little better. The kiss had felt so lovingly and she knew that Happy never  kissed anyone when he wasn't looking for sex. Had he  enjoyed it, just like her? She smiled at the thought.

* * *

Before visiting hours started, Happy let himself inside Faye's room. Before he started to work, he needed to know if she was all right – and he rather did that before anyone else was around. Spending too much time around her surely would be noticed by the others and he wasn't in the mood for making up excuses, nor could he just pretend to be her new best friend. As soon as he entered the hospital room, his eyes shot to the nearest bed. Her eyes were shut, but he wasn't sure she was sleeping. From a small distance he watched her peaceful face – yeah, she definitely was asleep, no longer plagued by the horrible news that she had heard yesterday. Seeing her so fragile, so easy to harm, caused a lump in his throat. Never before he had realized how vulnerable she was, how easy to hurt. She could have died yesterday. He took a step closer, his hand slipped inside his pocket as he sighed. For some reason he didn't want to wake her, he didn't want to drag her away from a world that might be the last place where she could be truly happy. Instead, he sat down on the chair, just waiting. He gave himself twenty minutes, if she still hadn't woken up he would leave, but he didn't mind much whether she was sleeping or awake.

* * *

Faye had finally been able to get some sleep. The nurse had given her a pill that helped her but that wouldn't knock her out for hours. She could even sleep without having nightmares. Maybe it was because she knew someone always was in front of the door. The nurse didn't wake her up in the morning, she just put the plate with the food on the little table next to her bed. It was the smell of coffee and food that made the girl wake up. With a soft groan she ran a hand across her face. Where was she? Oh right, hospital. 

Sighing, Faye sat up carefully. The pain that shot through her body again made her grimace. "Goddamnit," she murmured. Her eyes wandered through the room and a weak smile formed on her lips as she saw him. "Hey. Since when are you here?" she asked Happy. 

Happy smirked as the first things that left her lips, was a curse. "Not too long," he answered. "Didn't wanna wake you up. How'd you sleep?"

Faye bit her lip briefly and blushed.  Not that bad, the nurse gave me something. Did you get some sleep last night?"

"Good. Yeah, I slept well," he admitted. It was the first night since a very long time that he had been alone and it felt better than he ever could have expected.

"You have anything to do today?" she asked quietly,playing with her hands a little nervously.

"Just the regular work," he answered. "But I won't stay long. Cause... you know." He shrugged, admitting that he didn't want to be seen together with her sounded rude, even if it had nothing to do with her. "You expect any special visitors?"

It made her sad that hecouldn't stay just because of the others. "Yeah... I know," she mumbled. She longed for his touch, for his lips ‒ she just wanted to be close to him.Why was it so forbidden to fall in love? "Grace will come over... and I'm gladabout that." For a moment she stayed quiet before she looked at him directly. "Can you pick me up tonight? I don't want to stay here. Please..." she pleaded.

Happy was a little surprised that she was  still in contact with the church girl. Bringing her to the party had seemed a friendly gesture of Faye, but a few weeks had passed now and it seemed their different lives hadn't drifted them away from each other. Happy sighed as he heard her question. "How am I gonna explain I'm the one picking you up?" If she wanted to be around him ‒ and he had to admit, he wanted to be around her too, to keep her safe ‒ Clay and Gemma (and his brothers) needed to be eased into the idea of them being friends.

Faye scratched her neck and shrugged briefly. "Maybe you can tell them that I didn't want to bother anyone else and you were already close to the hospital?" she suggested. It was definitely complicated, but would the other really question it if he'd pick her up?

Happy sighed. "I don't know where I will be at the end of the day. Maybe Clay sends me out." He would definitely do it if he knew Faye wanted him to pick her up. His president didn't want him around his daughter, for more reasons than she knew. This was just stupid, he was only making things worse for her. "I gotta go," he said.

"It's okay, I-I will ask someone else." She swallowed softly and stood up as he was about to leave. "Wait..." She girl walked over to him, faster than she actually should. Hesitating, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him for a moment.

Briefly, Happy slipped his hand through her hair. He hated to leave her, knowing that she wanted him around. He pressed a kiss in her hair before he realized it. Confused he let go of her, a strange feeling in his stomach.

Faye sighed as he raked his hand through her hair. It felt so good and she really could get used to that. When he let go of her she looked up at him and pecked his lips before she sat down on the bed again, blushing. "What is this... between us?" She had to ask, even if it was hard for her too.

Happy shrugged. He honesty didn't know. Something had just changed, that night they slept together. Or maybe after discovering her feelings for him. "Dunno," he replied with a harsh voice. "But there can't be something real between us. You know that."

Faye closed her eyes briefly and ran a hand through her red hair. "But..."  She wanted to say something, but annoying him wouldn't make anything better. "I know." She tried to be not that hurt by those words, but she was.

Happy nodded, glad she wasn't coming up with excuses. "Gotta go now," he said. He really should. Not because there was someone waiting for him, rather because he could see how this affected her and the way it affected him was nothing but confusing. He gave her a simple nod before he left her room, deeply sighing. What the hell was he doing? He better cut off his own lips if they ever neared her face again.

"I-I'm in love with you." The words just slipped her mouth as he left the room,and a soft sob followed. She had no idea if he had heard it, but it should have been loud enough. Sure, Happy knew exactly how she felt about him, but she never had said exactly those words.

Happy gritted his teeth as he heard her almost desperate words. Still he acted like they had been too soft to reach his ears. What did she expect from him? She only made things harder for them. He wasn't in love with her. Sure, he liked her, but he wasn't in love. He had never been in love and he probably would never be. And he was fine with that. He hated the fact that she didn't do the same. He had known she liked him, but now he was getting the impression she was head over heels and she forced him to break her heart. He didn't want to, he had already broken her heart more than twenty years ago, and ever since he had been trying to make up for it. But this – this ruined all his efforts.

Faye sat on her bed, her nails clenching in the bed sheet. She tried to breathe calmly, but there came no reply from Happy showing her what he thought. But what had she expected? That he would come back to start a happy relationship with he? At the thought, she laughed bitterly and swallowed hard. She just had to get out of here and be among other people, to distract herself ‒otherwise she would go crazy.

 


	23. Chapter 23

It was a horrible night, even worse than the night after she had seen him for the first time. Parts of the conversation kept racing through her mind, complemented with flashes of imagines she would turn her head away from if it had been on tv. But this time, she couldn't turn away her head. And this time, she was the main character. Somewhere in the middle of the night she suddenly realized what Juice himself had been doing. His heavy breathing, his soft moans... he had been playing with his – thing while encouraging her to touch herself and it just made her feel sick. It was sinful – every thought about him was sinful. Touching her breasts had been so intense that she hadn't even thought about touching other private parts and she had never thought he would, despite all the experience he had. Would he have finished the job later, still fantasizing about how she touched herself, pretending it was him? Or would he have imagined how she touched him, did those things with him? Feeling awfully hot, she got up and opened the window, standing in front of it as the wind blew inside. She shivered. Why couldn't she forget about him? Look what he had made her do! She never ever even considered to talk with a man like that but they had been fantasizing about each other for what – twenty minutes? She felt filthy, as if he had really touched her in inappropriate places. Why kept those thoughts bothering her? Why didn't God take them away? "I – I can't do this," she whispered into the dark, tears burning in her eyes. "I know I can't resist him." 

'You don't  _want_ to resist him,' a nagging voice told her in her head. 'You're weak, you're a shame. You want him to touch you, you want him to call you again and pick up where you left off.' 

Grace bowed her head, shame pushing down her shoulders. Not a single word of it was lied.

Next morning, Grace wrote a text in which she wanted to cancel their meeting twice, but she never sent it. She had made her friend a promise; she would be there to watch movies this afternoon and she wanted Juice and her to act normal. She couldn't avoid him forever and the longer she would wait, the more stressed she would feel. She was already not able to eat, let alone if this dragged on for days. They hadn't picked a time for her to stop by; they had only decided to have coffee at 11 and she had no idea how long it would take to download some movies. Restlessly, Grace looked into her wardrobe. She had no idea what to wear. She wanted to wear something nice, something he would like. After picking different clothes, she chose a grey skinny jeans and a black and white chequered T-shirt made of polyester that covered her upper body in a more revealing way than most clothes she usually wore. In front of the mirror she put on some make-up, trying to hide the fact that she had barely slept tonight. Then she put her laptop in her bag, told her parents she would go to Faye and took off to the clubhouse. Her hands were sweating as she parked the car at the lot. Various men were already working and a bit hesitating she left the car, hoping to see Kip or Juice, or even Gemma. She however saw none of them. Should she give him a call? Or could she just walk inside?

* * *

Juice had woken up early and the first thing he had done was taking a shower, like always. He had to admit that he was nervous, pretty nervous. When was his last date? Damn, when he was a teenager. But it felt good that Graced had asked him for help. Did that mean that she trusted him? With his usual grin when he was in a good mood, he left his room and got himself a cup of coffee from the little kitchen. 

"Morning," he said to Gemma. 

The woman grinned briefly and patted his shoulder. "You're in a good mood. The new girl the reason for that wide grin on your face?" she asked as she put her cup aside. 

"Maybe," Juice winked, his grin growing even bigger. Yeah, Grace was definitely the reason. 

"It's great to see you happy, sweetheart." After those words Gemma left the kitchen. 

Juice finished his coffee before he went outside. Just as he wanted to put a cigarette between his lips he noticed Grace. "Hey, you're already here?" he asked, now a more charming smile formed on his lips.

Grace had been so wrapped up in deciding if she should stay or wanted to leave that she was a bit overwhelmed when Juice stood suddenly in front of her. "Hey," she said, not daring to look straight into his eyes. Nervously she fidgeted with the crucifix around her neck. "I had no idea how long it would take to get those movies on the laptop, so I figured it was best to be on time. But I – I can wait if you have to do other things first."

Juice noticed that she didn't look into his eyes. He assumed that it was because of the phone call yesterday. "No, it's okay. I don't have anything to do at the moment," he answered. God, he wouldn't dare to send her away just because it was early. "Do you wanna go inside? Did you had breakfast already?" Maybe they could eat something together. He really wanted to do everything right. 

"No, I eh, I'm not hungry," she said. She would surely throw up if she would eat something now. "But yeah, we can go inside." She didn't exactly look forward to go inside and be surrounded by his friends; even though she was sure Juice had told nobody about their phone call, she had the feeling everyone would just... know it. However, they couldn't keep standing on the parking lot the whole time . They walked inside. Grace kept her eyes aimed at the ground, all though she looked now and then to the side to see where Juice was going. Memories invaded her mind as she entered the clubhouse again. She remember how he had made her feel comfortable that first night ‒ it was such a difference with how she was feeling now.

"Do you have any special movies in mind?" Juice asked, trying to start a conversation. And well, he needed to know what movies she wanted to watch with Faye anyway. He laid a hand on her upper back and gently shoved her inside his room. It was only a small touch, but it felt good. Immediately his thoughts shot to yesterday again, but he tried to suppress them. 

The moment he touched her, she tensed. It felt like his hand was burning right though her shirt, even though it was just an innocent gesture. She tried to focus on his words, but suddenly being inside his room freaked her out a little, knowing he had been lying here yesterday while calling her, probably playing with himself. And even worse ‒ in her thoughts she had been many times in this room, with less clothes than she was wearing now. The memory of it made her cheeks flush and she quickly forced her thoughts back to his question. "I eh, I don't have something in mind. To be honest I haven't seen much movies, my parents find most of them inappropriate." She blushed. "But you're Faye's best friend, you know what she likes, right?"

All he wanted to do right now was pulling her close, feeling her body against his, feeling her lips. He however also imagined to lay in bed with her, cuddling. And that was a thing he hadn't done in years, but he wanted it with her. Even he blushed a little at his own thoughts. "Uhm, really? Well, now you have the chance to watch with Faye." Juice sat down on his bad, offering her to sit down, too. "I don't think you're a fan of horror movies." A soft chuckle left his lips. "Is action and comedy okay?"

Grace sat down on the bed too, with a little more space between them than might be normal. She just didn't trust herself, not on this bed, not with him. Images of the past night, from the phone call and from her dreams, shot through her head and she folded her hands on her lap. "Yes, that's okay," she answered softly, still avoiding his direct glance. Why couldn't that longing just disappear? She just wanted to have a nice conversation with him, instead of continuously imagining how his hands would shove underneath her shirt, how it would feel to kiss him again and... She was almost about to stand up and say she couldn't do this, but she kept herself from doing so on the last moment. She had promised her friend to give him a chance. She just didn't know how to do that if she kept thinking back to last night. They'd decided not to talk about it, but that didn't make her thoughts or the shame go away.

She suddenly realized that she still had to give him her laptop and a blush spread across her cheeks. Quickly she picked up her bag, pulled the device out of it and opened it. Happy to focus her thoughts on something else than the handsome man next to her, she entered her password and handed the laptop to Juice.

Why was it so hard to keep or even start a real conversation with her? Was it even harder because of yesterday? Definitely. He hadn't a problem with it ‒ but it seemed that Grace struggled a lot more with the situation than him. "Okay good. I just need the ‒" He stopped his sentence when Grace gave him the Laptop. "Right." A soft laugh left his lips. Should he offer her to make herself comfortable? Or would she take that the wrong way?

As he laughed, butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Her eyes shot to his face. There was a hint of a smile around his lips, but she sensed that he felt uncomfortable too. He had probably never been around such a complicated girl before. His eyes were aimed at the screen als he typed away on the keyboard, in a quicker pace than she had ever seen anyone do that. Grace looked around as she waited, noticing some posters very similar to the wallpaper on his phone. Besides the rattling on the keyboard there was a deep silence and Grace was desperately looking for something to say. Why did it feel this way? She remembered the first time she had stand in this room, her forehead resting against his as she had whispered that she didn't want to leave. Now she just couldn't wait to leave, and the prospect that they had to take a coffee together just petrified her insides. "Will it take long?" she asked. "Should I ‒ should I come back later?" she asked with a shaky voice.

Juice tried to focus on the screen, which was hard, although it made it easier that he really had to do something on the laptop. There was a lump in his throat like always when he saw her or when she was close to him. And right now they sat on his bed and images were haunting him; of her lying underneath him or close to him with his arms wrapped about her beautiful body. 

As she started to talk, he looked up, right into her eyes. God, those eyes. "No, only a few minutes. You already have one movie," he told her. Did she want to leave? Did he do something wrong? "No, you can stay. I mean... if you want... but you don't have to." His voice sounded almost sad, but he tried to hide that.

Grace had not the slightest idea what she wanted. Leaving this room felt like an easy way out, not something she really wanted. Being here was more private than being in a lunchroom, but that was also the thing that scared her. "No, I can wait," she muttered, turning away her head and staring at her knees again, so her long curls took her face away from his sight. She thought about what she had told him yesterday. That he would sit here and that she would straddle on his lap, kiss him, let her fingers wander across his chest. She felt stupid now, she would never ever dare to do something like that.

Juice put the laptop aside. As long as the download was running, he couldn't do anything anyway. It took a lot to overcome this issue, but he just had to do it. He cleared his throat and turned to the side to look at Grace a bit better. "About yesterday... I thought it was really nice, even if it didn't end like I thought it would end," he said honestly, smiling briefly. He took her hand into his, stroking the back of it with his thumb.

Grace still didn't dare to look at him. Instead, she stared at their hands. It felt so good that he held her hand that there was a weak feeling in her arms and legs. Even though it was embarrassing, she was still glad he brought up the topic. It had been quite a happening for her, they couldn't pretend it never happened. "How eh, how did you think it would end?" she asked, carefully directing him to that nerve racking thought that he had been satisfying himself. She just needed to know if he had really done that, or that her mind what just poisoned with such sinful thoughts.

Holding her hand was enough to give him the comfort he always had when Grace was around him. "Well, that we both would be satisfied in the end... or something like that..." His words sounded almost more uncertain than Grace's and his heart beat like crazy. "But I wanted to tell you again that I would never be joking with something like this."

"Satisfied..." she repeated softly, knowing what he meant with that. Had he really believed she would have done that? She swallowed with difficulty. "I never... I wouldn't even know how to do that," she whispered, with flaming red cheeks, barely paying attention to his other words anymore.

"Yesterday you knew how to do it," he replied quietly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know that all of this is new for you. For me too, believe me..." Juice swallowed softly, not really sure what he should say. 

"Not really," she said, "I just did what you told me." She bit her lip, touching her breasts was something else than the way he had been satisfying himself. Goosebumps spread across her neck and arms as his fingers touched her face. She still couldn't look at him, but she closed her eyes as his fingers brushed his skin. "Which I liked," she muttered, before giving him the idea that he had made her do something she didn't want. "And I... I'm happy it was your first time too."

"Well, that's how it works, right?" he asked with a weak smile. Immediately the thought of her touching herself was in his mind again. The man looked at her hands, her fingers ‒ and imagined how they touched her breasts and nipples. A quiet, shaky breath left his lips at the thought. "I could hear that you enjoyed it, and I liked it too." He looked into her eyes again. "Maybe... we can, you know... do it again."

For the first time in what felt like an hour, Grace looked up to him. He looked beautiful, and she could feel how nervous he was by suggesting that. "I don't know," she said, her voice shaking. "It felt... sinful. Every... every thought about you feels sinful." Suddenly there were tears burning in her eyes and she bit her lip, fighting off the sudden sadness.

Now Juice felt bad for her. Was it really so hard for her? Sure, she believed in God, but her words made him think. Could she ever be truly happy with such thoughts? That everything is sinful? The man took her face in his hands, gently caressing her cheeks with the tip of his thumbs. "It's not sinful, Grace, it's normal. Having needs and desires for another person is a great thing," he said softly, not breaking eye contact. 

Grace had the feeling that she was melting as he cupped her face. No matter what he would tell her now; she would believe it. Every word he said. He was intoxicating her mind and she stood up, broke away from every physical contact. "It is. But not... not for someone like you." Not someone who would never marry her, but she didn't dare to explain that. Bringing up something like marriage was just strange, they shouldn't talk about this now. Part of her wanted to agree with him, to just see what would happen between them. In silence, she just stood there in the middle of the room. She should leave, but the way he looked up to her just cut her heart. She had promised him a real chance. Why couldn't she keep that promise? Why was she so afraid? As long as she left her pants on, nothing really bad could happen, right? The doubts seemed to drown her. And all that time he just kept looking at her, trying to understand her, trying to get a glimpse inside her confused head. He was so patient, so sweet, so handsome. She had fallen so hard for him. What if he would be the only one she would ever have these strong feelings for? Should she just throw that away because she was afraid? Because all of this was new? Maybe he was right. Maybe this was normal when you were in love. There was only one thing she wanted now, and that was being with him. She had tried to forget about him, but their paths had crossed again. Was there a chance that this was God's will after all? Had he sent her to show this man not only her love, but also His? She let go a shaky breath. She looked at the door again, her way out. Back to cowardness, to feeling lonely, to be tormented by silent desires. It just felt like they had both swallowed a magnet. She couldn't walk away from him. Instead, she turned back to him and sat down on his lap, her knees on both sides of him on the mattress. Just like her fantasy had started yesterday. Nerves were racing through her body, but she still forced herself to look him in the eye. Surprise lit up his eyes. "I can't... I can't ignore this," she whispered. She moved her hand to his cheek, caressing his skin. "You are... you are just..." She couldn't put into words what she was feeling, and instead of trying it, her hands glided to his neck and she kissed him.

Juice had really believed that he had screwed things up again, so he was completely overwhelmed as she suddenly sat down on his lap. Automatically, he put his hands on her thighs, breathing against her skin. "Then don't ignore it," he whispered in a harsh but still soft voice against her lips. His throat felt dry, his chest heaving up and down faster. When he felt her lips on his, he put his hands to her back and pressed her gently against him, his tongue slipping between her lips.

It felt like a relief, for a moment not thinking about whether she was sinning or not. His lips sucked away every thought and a mighty feeling arose in her stomach as his tongue swirled around hers. She leaned more into him, deepening the kiss. Her breasts were pressed against his chest and she could feel his heartbeat, that beat just as fast as hers. She was aware of his hands on her back, keeping her close to him, but there was not one cell inside her body that wanted to go away now.

He was tender, sometimes even careful, but also a bit urgent. Still, he wouldn't force Grace to do anything she didn't want. He let her decide how far this whole thing should go. Still he stood up, holding her close to him and then laying her down on the bed,  so that he was now leaning over her. He had not interrupted the kiss, and he was careful not to lay his full weight on her. Instead, Juice propped one hand beside her head and buried the other in her hair.

When Juice crawled on top of her, it was the best feeling she had ever had. He was so close, his body pressing against hers without hurting her. Their kisses became intenser, one hand moved underneath his cut and laid on top of his shirt on his back, the other laid in his neck, brushing his skin. They kept kissing until they were both out of breath and with blushes on her cheeks she looked into his eyes. A bright smile adorned his face and she smiled back, her forefinger slowly moving up and down his spine.

He had never enjoyed a kiss more than this one. It was perfect. After a while he let his hand ran down her waist, using his fingertips to satisfy her even more. "You're so beautiful," Juice whispered honestly against her lips, his hand resting on her cheek.

Grace pressed two soft kisses against his whispering lips. She felt his fingers pressing in her side and oh, it felt so good. Biting on her lip, she looked at him. "I... I really think that I'm falling in love with you," she whispered. Closing her eyes, she kissed his lips again. She knew he liked her, but he got female attention all day long for years, so she understood if his feelings for her weren't so clear at all and she didn't mind much. Not so soon. She just wanted to honest, wanted him to know that all this was very special and precious for her. Her one hand was still on his back, with the other she glided across his mohawk.

Her words made him speechless. Not because he didn't like her, rather because he couldn't believe it. Only a few minutes ago she had asked if she could leave, and now this. The smile on his lips grew bigger and a tingling sensation spread through his body. Was he in love too? Probably, yes. Juice knew it because he had never liked a woman that fast, he never even let a girl so close before. "I think I fell for you too," he mumbled under his breath, letting out a soft sigh at her touch. His fingers slipped under her shirt, just a little bit.

She held her breath for a moment as he said those words, and even a little longer as his fingertips disappeared beneath her shirt. Her skin tingled wherever he touched her. Her right hand moved to the edge of his shirt as well so she could feel his warm soft skin, just a few inches away from his waistband on his back. Softly she brushed his lips, but she didn't kiss him again. Instead, she asked curiously: "How many... relationships have you had?"

Juice closed his eyes for a moment, so he could focus on her touch more. Slowly, his fingertips glided upwards, stroking her soft skin gently. With the back of his fingers he brushed her ribs. He kissed the corner of her mouth before he opened his eyes again, looking into hers. "Actually... only one when I was still in school. Since then I haven't had a real relationship," he explained with a brief shrug. "What about you? Did you ever had... something like this?"

Grace smiled as he closed her eyes for a while, her face fully relaxed. As his hand moved upwards, hers did too, curling around his vertebrae. As he reached her ribs, she breathed in sharply, feeling a sharp, almost stinging sensation between her legs that was pleasant in a strange way. It should worry her, scare her maybe even, but the way they were talking just made it relaxed and she could only enjoy his touches. "Only one girlfriend?" she asked stunned. "How is that even possible? You're not shy at all." She looked into his beautiful eyes. His face was so close she could barely see anything else. "I never had a boyfriend, I hadn't even kissed." A blush appeared on her cheeks. "You're my first."

Slowly, his hand slid to the beginning of her breasts, where he already felt her bra, but he didn't dare to shove his hand underneath it, even though he was sure that her breasts would feel good. The thought of cupping her breasts made him hard, simply because the situation was nice and he enjoyed it not just to fuck someone. "Well, it just haven't met the right one," he said with a mischievous smile. He wasn't surprised when Grace told him that she never had had a boyfriend. Slowly a knot formed in his stomach, he just didn't want to do anything wrong. His forehead still leaned against hers as he pecked her lips. 

Grace kissed him back, slowly, aware of his finger tips right below the underwire of her bra. Part of her was glad he left it at that; it was too soon, he wasn't even her boyfriend yet. The other part was just dying to feel his touch on her breasts ‒ curious if it came anywhere close to how it had felt in her imagination. Her other hand slipped underneath his shirt too as their kiss intensified, gliding across his back, touching his muscles, unintentionally rolling up his shirt a bit so a small strip of his bare stomach touched hers. Feeling his warm skin against hers was driving her crazy, pushing every other thought out of her head.

Was it wrong to do this with her, Juice wondered? Could she possibly hate him when she realized what they were doing? All those questions popped up in his head, but this was too great to interrupt it. As soon as her fingers touched him so softly, the man couldn't stop this. There were butterflies everywhere in his stomach, a feeling that was also new for him. Slowly, Juice's lips trailed kisses from the corner of her mouth down her neck, the tip of his tongue touching her skin, making a soft grunt leaving his throat. 

Grace had the feeling that she had caught a glimpse of heaven. The feelings he called up inside her were so intense that they just overwhelmed her. A content sigh left her as his lips trailed kisses to her jaw, to her neck. Every inch he touched, seemed to boil. Her breathing sped up, her skin was getting hotter with every second passing by. Her hand slipped away from his shirt and she moved it to the back of his head, stroking the edge of his strange hair cut and keeping his head down because she didn't want him to stop. Underneath her shirt his thumb glided across the underwire of her bra, yet he didn't went further. She knew all she had to do to feel his hand covering her breast was telling him she wanted it, but on the same time this created a tension that forced her to take little gasps now and then, sometimes even turning into a soft but weird squeaking sound. She bent back her head so he could explore the rest of her neck until he reached the neck of her shirt.

Heat spread through his body, his breath shaky. God, he wanted this woman for himself, only for himself. As he reached the collar of her shirt, his lips moved up again as his fingers slid slowly across her bra and gently stroked the skin of her breast. Slowly, really slowly, he slipped his fingers under the bra and let his thumb circle around her nipple. He'd love to see them, look at them and knead them. Instead, he looked at Grace's face, a smile on his lips. 

Grace closed her eyes for a while as his fingers caressed her breast and his thumb played with her nipple. His touch was soft and careful and when she opened her eyes again, there was a surprising insecurity in his eyes, as if he was afraid he was going to far. He probably did ‒ well not only him, both of them. She let him touch her this way, and she loved his caress, no matter what she had learned about sexuality. Raising her head a little, she let her lips slide along his neck, to his ear, and whispered: "This feels so much better than I imagined last night." She bit her lip as she looked at him again. Her cheeks flushed, because it felt like a bold move to bring up yesterday's phone call again, even though she knew he would love to hear those words.

Juice felt her nipple getting hard under his touch, causing him to keep caressing it gently. He felt relieved that she didn't pull away from him. Seems like he hadn't done anything wrong yet. But still, he was so nervous ‒ especially because she could feel the elevation in his jeans now. Her lips on his neck and her words almost drove him crazy ‒ that was something he wanted to hear. "Does it?" he asked in a hoarse voice, pulling up her shirt a little more to reveal more of her soft skin. 

She moved his shirt higher as well, so that more of their skin was touching. It felt so good to feel the pressure of his body against hers. Her hands ran down his back and found his back pockets. They slipped into them, gently pulling him closer. Suddenly she felt something hard pressing against her groin, making the blush return to her cheeks. Before she could ponder about it, her nipple became so sensitive she let out a soft moan. Embarrassed, despite his own growls, her eyes shot to him, her hands still in his back pockets.

Juice swallowed softly as he heard her moan. As much as he enjoyed this, and he really did, he had to slow things down. He wanted to show her that he would wait if that's what she wanted. Sure, it was hard for him to wait, especially now, but he needed to. "I-I think we should wait... you know.. until you really want more of this," he whispered against her lips, his hand still resting on her breast, a slight blush on his cheeks. 

Grace stared into his eyes, almost shocked because he was the one who didn't want to go further. Slowly she nodded. He was right. They needed to stop, she actually had the feeling they had already gone too far since they weren't a real couple yet. At the sight of the blush on his cheeks, she smiled, kissing the tip of his nose. She didn't know what feeling was stronger; the gnawing sensation because she hadn't stopped this herself and she didn't know how far she would have allowed him to go; or the love she felt for this man because he respected her wishes ‒ or what should be her wishes ‒ so much. "I think you're right." Her hands slipped out of his back pockets and she sat up a bit straighter.

He felt stupid. Why did he do that? She wasn't mad at all at him, so why had he done that? Because her feelings were more important than his? Shit, he really fell for that girl. "Yeah? I mean... you're so beautiful and your body feels amazing against mine..." He cleared his throat and sat up too. "But I know you wanted to take things slow. Wanted to respect that..." He looked right into her beautiful eyes. 

"Thank you," she said. "You're really sweet." She smiled, but in her stomach there appeared a knot of nerves. "But maybe we should set some boundaries indeed. Just a bit of stroking for now, until eh, we know whether there's a chance that this will work at all," she suggested, dropping her eyes. When would they know if this was working? She found it hard to picture their future. When did you date long enough to decide to get into a relationship? When should she introduce him to their parents? Would they give him a chance at all? And would he still be with other women as long as they weren't a real couple?

"Don't think that it's this easy. I want to be honest: it's really hard to keep my hands away from you. Not because I want to fuck you but because you're... amazing." He shrugged briefly, running a hand across his mohawk. He already regretted his choice to stop, but right now he couldn't take it back. "I want this to work, really." Juice gave her a small smile, taking her hand into his. "Want me to pick you up later?" 

Grace flinched a bit as she heard his blunt words. She hated that word, it made the deed so... loveless. Everything else he said however was sweet, so she tried to just forget about it, telling herself this was just how he was and he was already trying so hard. She smiled back as he took her hands in his. His fingers on his breast had taken her breath away, but the impact it had on the rest of her body wasn't that different. "I got here by car," she reminded him. "So I don't really need a pick up."

Juice was definitely overwhelmed with this situation. Shit, why hadn't he just keep doing and enjoying it? He had already changed in that case. His thumb caressed the back of her hand as he looked at her. Great, now there wasn't a chance that he would see her later. "Okay." Or was there a chance that she'd stop by anyways? And then he had an idea. "Hey uhm... would you like to come over later? Not here, we could meet at my apartment." Maybe she would feel more comfortable there, being alone with him. 

A smile crossed her face. There was nothing she wanted more than being with him and being in another room than a bedroom would surely help her to drift her thoughts away from wanting to be touched by him the whole time. It also gave her a feeling that she was special, she doubted he invited a lot of girls over. "I'd love that." 

"Really? That's great!" The excitement in his voice couldn't be overheard.

Her face grew somber. "But my parents would want to know where I am." She hesitated for a while. "But I could tell them that I am with Adrian, they'd definitely like that." He no longer lived with his parents, so they couldn't deny that she wasn't there. "I'll give him a call to see if he's fine with it." A blush spread across her face. This was so wrong, lying to her parents! But they wouldn't give Juice a real chance, that wasn't her fault, right? If this was going to work, she just had to ease them into the idea of having a biker boyfriend.

Juice swallowed a sigh; the fact that her parents would love to see her with Adrian kinda pissed him off. Would they ever give him a chance, or only a Christian boy? "I hope he'll do it," Juice muttered, knowing  that Adrian wasn't a fan of him. Softly, he ran the back of his fingers over her slightly red cheek. 

"Up to know he has been a great friend, I think he'll do it for me." 

"Let's hope you're right," he winked, trying not to put too much hope in that plan. But yeah, Adrian was a guy who cared about his friends, maybe he'll help her.

She leaned into him, pecking his lips and looking up to him, fluttering her eyelashes. "You think you'll be able to deny me anything?" she whispered with a slight grin.

A smirk formed on his lips. "Never," he whispered back, pulling her closer again. 

Grace allowed herself one more sweet kiss before she pulled away her face and stood up, glancing at his alarm clock. "I think we'll have to save the coffee for another day."

Juice grabbed her face gently after he stood up too, pressing a soft kiss against her lips. "Sounds good. And you tell me later if you come by tonight," he said, still grinning like an idiot. 

Grace slipped her arms around him to pull him into a hug and held him close. She wanted this to work, she wanted it so badly. Her whole body seemed to fizz every time he was around. "I'll find a way," she promised, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

"I'm sure you do," he nodded, letting out another soft sigh as he felt her lips touching his skin again. Juice backed away slowly and wrote down his address on a piece of paper. Then he checked the downloads and handed her the laptop. "I hope there are enough movies on it now," he smirked, handing her the piece of paper. 

"Without a doubt. Thanks for helping me out."

"Anytime, just give me a call," he replied. Grace could call him anytime and he would help her. 

Grace took the laptop and put it in her bag. Hanging the bag over her shoulder, she shoved the note inside her pocket. "I think I'll be there at 8," she said as they left the room. Juice put a hand on her back."Is that all right?"

"8 is good. I'll be home," he nodded, smiling at her. 

His smile made her knees feel weak, but she managed to keep on walking as they crossed the clubhouse. She felt her cheeks glow as she saw all the men around, some whistling or making comments about them. She leaned a bit more to Juice, feeling safer when he was close, but still she enjoyed having been seen together with him, especially because this was the only place she could think of where they would accept them.

Juice rolled his eyes at his brothers and chuckled, luckily no one said anything stupid. "Sorry," he mumbled against her ear, placing a soft kiss on her neck before they went outside. "Drive carefully, okay?" Juice looked at her, after what had happened to Faye he had gotten a bit anxious. 

For a moment Grace was lost in his eyes again, those beautiful brown, lively eyes. "I will," she said, giving him a quick kiss because she didn't want to give him a real kiss in front of his friends ‒ or anywhere public. "See you tonight!" His hand slipped off her back as she sat down inside her car and she gave him one more smile before she took off and headed for the hospital. 

 


	24. Chapter 24

Adrian was a little nervous as he walked across the hospital, heading for the room where Faye was lying. They hadn't split up in a fight, but they neither had stayed friends. He however still cared for her and what Grace had told him yesterday, had crushed his heart. He knew how important family was for her. With flowers in his hand, he stepped into the room. She was awake, staring at the ceiling. He swallowed as he saw her pale face, her grief filled the whole room. He cleared his throat to attract her attention; he didn't want to startle her. "Hey Faye," he said softly, slowly approaching her.

Faye turned her head to the side when she heard someone. Surprised she looked at Adrian, not sure what he was doing here. "Uhm... hey..." she mumbled, sitting up a little. They weren't best friends or something, but she had to admit that she was glad that someone was around. Being alone just made her feel way worse. "Didn't think to see you here..." Faye smiled weakly.

"No... I get that..." Adrian sat down on the edge of the bed and handed her the flowers. "I was with Grace yesterday... and she was pretty shaken up by what had happened to you. I too... I just needed to see you, pretending I don't care about you didn't feel right."

Thankfully, Faye took the flowers and smiled briefly. "They're beautiful. Thanks, Adrian." She looked at him again and put a hand on his. "I'm okay, don't worry. They have great doctors here. I hope Grace isn't too shaken up anymore."

"Okay, good... I'll think she'll manage, she told me yesterday that she was having a date before she would go to see you." Adrian tried to smile, but he didn't like it at all. He liked her, he cared for her, and he didn't want her to get hurt by a prick who thought he was a hero on a bike.

"A date? Really?" Faye couldn't help but smile. She guessed it was Juice ‒ and she'd be really happy for them if this would work out. She however also noticed that Adrian wasn't that happy about it. "You don't seem to like that. You like her? Or is it just because it's one of my people?" she asked carefully.

Adrian sighed. "Come on, Faye. You know that guy slept with every girl in town. Don't you think she deserves someone better?"

"Stop, Adrian. Please stop talking about him like that, you know he's my best friend," she sighed deeply. This wasn't the first time they argued about Juice. "He likes her. I know you're not a big fan of him... but he wouldn't do anything to hurt her."

"He wouldn't even know he's hurting her," he objected. "Come on Faye, I know he's your best friend, but do you really think he can stay faithful to her? You think he'll even survive one week without sex? He always bragged about the fact he'd been inside every woman around."

"That's not true! He's not an asshole," she mumbled, trying to defend Juice at her best. "He... he can stay faithful, I'm sure about that. Plus, they aren't even a thing yet, Adrian." Sure, Juice had slept with plenty of women, but that didn't mean that he'd hurt Grace. "Let's not talk about that... not again. You know that was one of the reasons why our relationship didn't work."

"What was the reason our relationship didn't work?" he asked, since it had been her feelings for someone else who had destroyed it.

"Because we're too different, because I'm in love with someone else and because... this would've never worked," she muttered, looking at the flowers which were still in her hands. "I'm sorry for breaking up with you. But please let Grace decide by herself who she wants to date."

Adrian sighed. "I just don't want her to get hurt like I was. We knew it wasn't going to work and we still tried. I know it won't work for her and Juice either, and deep down, you know it too. She's a good girl, Faye, how will she ever fit into a world dominated by violence, free sex and drugs? I don't think one can find bigger opposites!"

Faye listened to him. Yeah, Grace was a good girl, but Juice wasn't bad... just a little criminal. "I told you so many times that I'm sorry. If there hadn't been feelings for someone else, we probably still would have been together, trying. But it's better this way. All of this is new for Grace ‒ but if you truly love someone you accept the person and the lifestyle, no matter what. Were you ever so much in love that you'd do anything for that one person? Maybe she isn't yet, but they deserve a chance."

Adrian didn't like the fact that she was putting so much emphasis on their own relationship. That was not his point. "Do you think any of these men will ever abandon the club for a girl?" There was no mocking tone in his voice, he was really honest. It felt like Faye was just blind for certain aspects of the biker life. He didn't blame her, he couldn't imagine how it was to live among people who were criminals, but Grace wasn't blind. She would find out and she would decide she didn't belong there.

Faye frowned at his question, shaking her head. "Why would they? Would you stop believe in God because of a woman who isn't religious?" she asked, also not in a mocking tone. "Did you try to talk her out of this already?"

"No, I didn't. Her parents will already disapprove, I won't tell her what to think, but I know her way of life good enough to follow her thoughts. But you hit the nail on the head, Faye. Don't you see that? She will never be able to turn a blind eye to the club's illegal businesses because she's learned to stay away from illegal matters. They'll never have a life with the club and Juice isn't going to give up his club for her either. Don't you see it? They live in opposite worlds, just like we did, and maybe even worse because she's the daughter of a minister and he, well, is a criminal and not only the daughter of one."

Faye played with her hands, looking at them while listening to Adrian. How did they ever end up together? Again she noticed how different their opinions were. "Stop! She won't give up her faith and he won't give up the club, I get it! But let them enjoy the moments they can have together. And yeah, the guys are criminals but most of the time they're protecting their loved ones. Not one of them is a cold-hearted asshole," she said firmly, pressing her lips together. The last sentence hurt her, but she didn't want to show it. "Let's not talk about this please..."

Adrian sighed as he saw he upset her. "I never said they are cold-hearted assholes, Faye, don't put words like that in my mouth. I know you love them, and I know they love you. But you are one of them, and Grace..." He shook his head. "She isn't. The guys have killed people, have been in jail, they are always armed. They sleep around, they're cursing half of the time... Can't you imagine how much that will shock Grace if she finds out? You can't keep her ignorant about stuff like that..." He dropped his eyes. "She's such an innocent, sweet girl... She won't see it coming."

Faye bit her lower lip and looked up at him again. "Of course it will shock her, I never said that it wouldn't. But what do you want me to do? Tell her everything?" she asked with raised eyebrows. "You know that I'll lose her too as a friend then. And I can't lose anyone right now, especially not the only female friend I have. I know that it's wrong to keep those things from her. And I can't do that to Juice either, I just can't."

Adrian's shoulders slumped down. She was right. There wasn't much she could do about it. "I know," he admitted, rubbing his neck. "Just..." He shrugged, feeling stupid. "I don't know. I'm just worried about her."

Slowly, Faye reached for his hand, resting hers on his. "I see that you care about her, and I do too. I just need her and one day she'll find out everything ‒ then it's her choice what she's going to do." She smiled weakly, caressing his skin with her thumb. "It's all gonna be fine, you'll see."

Adrian squeezed her hand. "Sorry for bringing it up, I didn't want to upset you. I'm happy you two are friends, you are both wonderful persons."

"No, it's okay, you're worried," she nodded, blushing slightly at his words. "Thank you. I'm sure she's happy to have you as her friend." She swallowed softly. "Do... do you think we could be friends again? Because I really miss you." And she really did. She missed him as a friend, nothing more.

Adrian hesitated. "I don't know if I can," he said honestly. Although it would be easier now Grace was around her too; it would make him less of an outsider. "I'm over you, but if my feelings return, it might be better to not see each other. But we can try?" He smiled. "Maybe they'll stay away."

Faye nodded quickly and understood what he meant. "It's okay. We will see if it works, but we should give it a try." She was glad that he was honest with her, that was one thing she had always appreciated. "I never wanted to hurt you, you know that, right?"

Adrian nodded. "I know that. I blame myself more than I blamed you, I just knew it wouldn't truly work out between us." He bent his head. "And that's also why I have this feeling that Grace will end up like me."

Faye moved closer to him, suppressing the pain in her body. God, she felt so bad for him. "Please don't blame yourself... don't do that," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him into a hug. "Grace will be fine, and you will too."

* * *

In a good mood Grace entered the hospital, smiling dreamily, for a while forgetting about Faye and the horrible news that she still needed to deal with. She stepped into the room. "Hi!" Surprise took her over as she saw Adrian. "Oh, hey! Hadn't expect to see you here." 

"I just wanted to pay her a quick visit," the man said, coming over to her and kissing her cheek. "But I'll leave you two alone, I have to go to work anyway." 

Grace nodded. "I wanted to give you a call either way today," she said, feeling the red color creep back to her face. "Can you eh, be my alibi for tonight?" As she realized how that sounded, she got even hotter. "I mean, not tonight, but for the evening?"

Faye looked at Grace. The smile on the girl's face said more than thousand words. "Hey," Faye answered softly, looking back and forth between the two. Yeah, Adrian definitely liked Grace ‒ everyone did. Some really liked her, others wanted to get into her pants. But as soon as the girl with the blond curls entered a room, all eyes were on her. "Your alibi? For what?" There was a slight grin on Faye's lips. 

"Yeah... for what?" Adrian asked. "I mean, yeah, sure. But, are you in trouble or something?" Deep down he however already knew the reason. 

Blushing, Grace stroked a strand of her curly hair behind her ear. "Juice asked me to come over to his apartment, but I can't tell my parents I'm with him." She looked at Adrian. "They know you, they trust you. They won't ask questions if they think I'm with you."

Faye's mouth dropped open. Juice never invited a girl to his apartment, except for her or Gemma. She couldn't hide a big smile, even though she knew that Adrian wouldn't like this.

Adrian sighed deeply. Exactly, her parents trusted him and he would risk to betray that trust because of a biker. But he saw in what good mood Grace was and he didn't want to destroy it. "Fine, I'll do it, but only for tonight, okay?" 

"Thank you!" Excited as she was, she hugged him. "It won't happen again!" Next time Faye would have left the hospital and she was sure her friend would be willing to help her out.

Adrian hugged her back, inhaling her scent. "Just... be careful," he whispered in her ear, not wanting to upset Faye again with those words. "Call me if you need anything," he said to both of the girls before he left the room.  

Grace waved him goodbye, placed her bag on the hospital bed and sat down. "So, I asked Juice to download some movies that we can watch. Some comedies and action movies, you can pick one you like."

"Thank you! Uhm... Comedy!" She loved action and all that stuff, but at the moment she preferred more funny things, and Grace probably too.. "You spent more time with him, huh? It's good to see you smiling," she said honestly.

Faye shoved a bit to the side so Grace could climb on the bed. She put down the laptop on her legs and started the device. "We did spent some time," she admitted, unable to hide her smile. Her cheeks were still red. "I... I think I really am falling in love with him." Memories flushed through her head, of their kisses, his touch. Part of her wanted to tell her friend how all that had felt, how he made her feel, but there was still some restraint inside her, feeding the shame, convincing her it wasn't appropriate to talk about things like that. Sure, her former friends had talked about the boys they'd kissed, but never anything more private than that and Grace was wondering now if they had ever gone further or if their boundaries had been much more firm than hers.

Faye bit the inside of her cheek. She wanted to know if there had happened something between them, otherwise Grace wouldn't be in such a good mood. "Of course you are. Even a blind person would see that!" she said. "Did something happen? You know..." Faye asked, her smile turning into a grin. 

"A lot happened since yesterday," she said, bending her head as she thought back to the phone call and how awkward she had felt yesterday. "We talked, as I had promised you. We shared a quick kiss in front of the hospital and then we decided to have a coffee today. Then I called him yesterday to ask if he could help me with downloading some movies and then we..." She swallowed, twisting her ring. Faye had been very open with her, talking about having sex with Happy, but it still felt wrong to say out loud what they had done. "Then we were pretending the other was around and what we would do and..." She peeked to the side. There was a wide grin on her friend's face. "And then I panicked because I was afraid he would just laugh about it and then it just felt too weird. I didn't even want to go to him this morning but I had promised you movies... So I did. And we talked about it, and then kissed again." Without realizing, she touched her lips, it was still hard to believe that had really happened. "And he laid me down on the bed and... Oh Faye he was so sweet and patient! He was the one suggesting we should stop after he had stroked my breasts and I... I just can't stop thinking about how it felt when is hand was there and how he tasted and..." She stopped her rattling, blushing. "Sorry. It all feels so... surreal..."

Faye let her friend talk and didn't interrupt her, she was too excited to hear what had happened. However, she couldn't stop grinning, sometimes she couldn't even believe that it was Grace who was sitting right next to her. The two had had some kind of phone sex? Wow, Faye would never have expected that. But well, still waters are deep, right? "Holy shit, seriously, Grace? I mean, that sounds great, and you look so happy," Faye said, nodding eagerly. "Stop apologizing, I'm happy for you... and for Juice. I told you he's great."

"He really is..." she said with a happy sigh. "I just hope it will lead to something real, even though it scares me. My parents will be so disappointed that I fell for a guy who doesn't believe in God..."

Faye sighed, shaking her head. „But... isn't it enough for them that he's a nice guy? Juice knows how to treat a girl, your parents should be glad you got a guy like him. But you don't have to tell them yet, just wait what happens between you and Juice." She smiled briefly. "But I'm sure you two will have something serious in the future." 

"Oh no, I won't tell them anytime soon, but I can't hide it forever, right? I mean, he can't even wear his cut around me now." She sighed. "But maybe I'm mistaking. Maybe I underestimate the power of that charming smile of him." The thought of it made her smile too. 

"No, you can't. One day you have to be honest, but not so soon." She winked. "He would never hide his cut for a girl, you can feel honored." 

Grace blushed. "But how are you? Have you slept?"

"Yeah, a little bit. Happy was here this morning and I told him for the first time that I'm in love with him... don't know if he heard it tho," Faye told her, scratching her arm. "I leave the hospital today by the way. Maybe you could give me a ride home? Don't think it's good if Happy does that."

"Yeah, of course," she nodded. "Why not Happy? Because you're afraid he heard you?"

"No, because it can't work and spending more time with him makes it worse," she whispered, shrugging. "Guess I have to live with that."

Grace sighed softly. She didn't know the man and had no idea if she was right. "I feel sorry for you, especially since Juice and I... do like each other." She blushed. "I already told him that I'm falling in love with him, even before a proper date."

"No, don't feel sorry, it's okay! I'm glad you and Juice got closer, really," she replied honestly and she smiled briefly. Sure, it was hard to know that she'd never have this with Happy, but that didn't change the fact that she was happy for her friends. "You really told him? Maybe I should start planning your wedding." She chuckled softly.

"Well, I didn't say that I loved him, hope he knows the difference," she said softly. Her lips turned into a small smile. "A wedding... You think he's the type who wants to marry?"

"I don't know. But I think if he really loves a girl, he'd marry her one day."

Grace knew that the chance that she would be the one he would marry was very very little, but a warmth spread through her body either way. "And you?" She asked. "You think you wanna marry someday?"

"Yes, definitely. It has always been my dream. Getting married, having... a family," she breathed out shakily. Both things wouldn't happen anymore. "Doesn't matter..."

"Of course it matters," Grace said, a bit severe. "And there's no need to give up on your dream to marry. You are still young, there is plenty of time to meet the perfect man." For if she was completely honest, she rather saw her friend with someone else than Happy; with his grim face and deadly stares.

"The problem is that I don't want anyone else. And I don't think Happy will ever marry anyone." No matter how sad this was, there was still a weak smile on her lips. Grace always tried to think positive.

"I understand you can't imagine wanting to be with someone else now, but you'll get over him one day, Faye. You're going to meet a wonderful person that makes you forget about this guy, I just know that will happen."

"I really admire you for your positive attitude. You're welcome to give me some of it," the girl chuckled softly. "But maybe you're right... maybe I will get over him one day."

"Just look in the mirror at least twice a day and tell yourself how great you are and that somewhere on this earth walks the perfect match for you, who will be just as great," she chuckled. She typed the password and opened the map on the desktop where Juice had saved the movies.

"Wow, you're a really good friend." She smirked at the blond girl, leaning back against the pillow. "Let's watch a movie and then... they hopefully set me free!"

"Wait, not yet." She turned to her friend, deciding to tell her what was bothering her a bit. "Why did you never tell me you were with a Christian boy? Did it... did it not work out because of the... staying virgin thing? Apart from, you know, your feelings for someone else?"

Faye sighed deeply and ran her fingers through her red curly hair. "I knew I'd hurt him sooner or later. Not just because I had feelings for someone else, but because we're too different. It's hard to explain. I really liked him, but a part of me knew that I would never be like him," she sighed, looking at her friend. "But that doesn't mean that it will be the same for you and Juice."

Grace stared at her hands. That was exactly the answer she had feared. She still wanted to try it with Juice, but deep down there were so many doubts. She was just ignoring them but she knew that wouldn't help her in the end. "In what way were you too different?"

"In so many ways. Smoking, drinking, parties, sex... and he was just such a nice guy." She looked at Grace and rubbed her back gently. "You'll find out if you fit in this lifestyle or not, give him a chance."

"I won't fit in," she said, softly sighing. "We both know that, Faye. There's no use in pretending that will change, that will mean that I'll lose myself. But maybe, maybe Juice and I will find our way in this." Blushing, she added: "If we ever get that serious. I eh, have no idea when something is serious. For me it already is." The thought that he would sleep with other women after today would crush her heart, but she didn't dare to tell him that. Not when he would have to abstain from that kind of deep intimacy the moment he really became her boyfriend.

"I know, you won't. But you both don't have to change. You like him the way he is and he definitely likes you." That was all they needed. Sure, both of them would have a hard time sometimes. "I think it's not only serious for you. Juice cares about you, that's something you can appreciate." Faye smiled briefly. "And I can assure you that it won't be easy, but you'll find a way to live with each other's lifestyle. Just don't ask him to go to church with you." A playful smirk formed on her lips.

It sounded like a joke, but for Grace it was a really serious matter. "The church is just as important for me, as the club is for him. It's not a one way thing, if I'll be around the clubhouse for him, he should also visit the place where I feel home. If that's already too much of a sacrifice, it definitely isn't going to work between us." If Faye had never went to church with Adrian, she understood very well why it hadn't worked out between them.

"You really think they'd accept Juice? They would stare at him like he is... a killer or something. The club however would never judge you. I don't have problems with churches, but we will always be the bad people in their eyes." She sighed. She should have known this matter was so important for Grace. "Seems like we both will never get what we want, huh?"

"They'll have to accept him. God's love is for everyone, also for bikers. I am not the only Christian who believes that." She sighed, it made her sad that Faye believed neither of them would get happy with their current crushes.

"So your parents would give him a chance? Do you really believe that? You're already afraid to tell them, Grace. How should this work then?" She sighed, regretting her own words. Great, she probably just ruined their friendship. "Forget it, one day it'll work."

"But I'm their daughter. They will look in a different way at him than my church friends," Grace persisted, refusing to believe otherwise. They couldn't judge him as a person. "And people are always staring, in and outside the church, right?"

"I just hope you two won't have too many problems," she murmured. And yeah, Grace was right, people would always judge, no matter if they were religious or not. "Well, that's true."

Grace gave her an encouraging smile. "Now, lets watch a movie now, we can't change the future anyway. You can pick one, I have never seen any of these."

"You're definitely right, we can't change it ‒ we can just wait and see how it goes," she nodded eagerly, grabbing the laptop and choosing one of the funny movies. "I'm glad to have you here," she said with a soft smile before she started the movie.

"I'm glad you gave me a chance to become friends, despite our differences." She laid her head against Faye's shoulder as the movie started.

"Of course!" Faye answered quickly, leaning her head against Grace's head. She tried to focus on the movie and sometimes she really concentrated, but most of the time her thoughts were somewhere else.

* * *

Since the moment Miles had seen Happy and Faye making out, he was in a terrible mood, feeling a tendency to smash everything to pieces. When he saw Juice walking out the church girl, he felt even worse. He just couldn't handle the idea that his brother got his way with her. "How's that goin'?" he asked, lighting up a smoke as Juice entered the clubhouse again. "You haven't claimed your money yet. Was her pussy so boring you lack the courage to talk about it with us?" he huffed. "Or is she still in the cuddling mode huh? Think I'm gonna take my chances soon, can use the money."

Juice was just about to go back to his room when Miles started talking to him ‒ and his words pissed him off. The fact that he talked about Grace like she was a whore made him angry. "Maybe I just don't need the money," he huffed, taking a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. "Just don't talk about her like that, got it?" He took a step closer, looking into his brother's eyes. 

Miles lifted the corner of his mouth. His brother sounded like she was more than just a girl to fuck. "Fine. Just gotta find a way to meet her." He shrugged. "You really think you still have a chance to win if she didn't let you into her pants yet? She's been at your room twice now, huh?"

"Find a way to meet her? Good luck with that, wouldn't show up at her door if I were you," he replied with a grin on his lips. Not even Miles was stupid enough to do that. But Half Sack had also found a way too to meet Grace and it bothered him. "Don't know, but I think I still have better chances. You just have to know how to do it." Juice sat down on the black leather couch, resting his legs on the small table.

"Nah, I won't scare her parents. I'm not the one with an idiot haircut and tattoos on his head." He shrugged.

"And I'm still the one the girls chose over you, even with that stupid haircut," he replied. 

"Doubt you know how to do it by the way. Seems she's just too sweet to turn you down, if she really saw something in you, you two would have fucked by now. You're just trying to restore your honor." He smirked, satisfied he was driving his brother into a corner. 

Miles really got on his nerves right now, especially because he still talked about Grace like that. "You think? Well, she's coming over tonight. Not here, my apartment." He shrugged as if it was the most normal thing in the world, but he was still nervous.

Miles hated the fact that the man was right. Maybe he should do something stupid with his hair too, apparently girls liked it. At least both Faye and Grace had a thing for tattooed heads.He raised his eyebrows as he heard Juice's remark. Was he serious? Was he going to take her home? "Thought you didn't care about the money, but this sounds pretty serious. Is there someone in love here, huh?" he grinned.

Juice groaned. Now he was definitely annoyed by Miles. This man really knew how to annoy someone. "I'm not... in love..." he said through gritted teeth. Sure he was, but that was no one's business. First he wanted to know by himself if this would work with Grace.

"Yeah... If you say so," he smirked, knowing there could only be one reason why he was responding so grumpy.

"Just shut up..." he muttered, finishing his smoke. "If anyone needs something I'm in my room." After those words he stood up, otherwise he would probably punch him in the face.

"Yeah... We all know what you'll do there." He made a jerking motion in front of his crotch.

Juice slammed the door behind him and sat down on his bed, taking a deep breath to calm down a little. "Asshole," he muttered.


	25. Chapter 25

It was a nice movie, with no shocking things at all, making Grace wonder why her parents were so against mainstream movies. There had been a little romance in it, which unfortunately hadn't improved Faye's mood. A few minutes before the ending a doctor came in and discussed some matters, where after they were allowed to leave. Finally there appeared a smile on the girl's face; her being home would surely made things better. She gathered the few things that were around and moved to the car. The movie had kept her mind busy, but now the nerves returned to her stomach; she would have to lie to her parents about what she was going to do tonight. Hopefully they wouldn't ask too much questions; maybe she didn't even need to tell them to who she was going. "You want me to bring you home or to the clubhouse?" Grace asked.

Faye thought for a moment. "Uhm, it would be great if you could bring me to the clubhouse, I don't want to be alone," she explained. Yesterday had been hard enough, she needed some people around to distract herself. 

"Sure!" Grace answered, where after they drove to the clubhouse. As she parked the car, she doubted for a moment. Should she go inside to see Juice? She couldn't wait to see him, but she didn't want to suffocate him. Plus, dinner would almost be ready at home, so she couldn't stay here long anyway. "Can you tell Juice that Adrian helped me out for tonight?" she asked, since she was sure the two would see each other soon.

"Yeah sure, you have to go home?" she asked, looking at her. Her parents probably just wanted to see her for at least a few hours. "I'll tell him. And thank you again, also for the drive." Faye pressed a kiss on Grace's cheek before she got out of the car and got her bag. Faye waved at Grace and went inside where Gemma stared at her for a moment. 

"What do you think you are doing here, young lady?" the woman asked, her eyebrow raised. 

"They allowed me to go home. I'm fine, really!" she told her stepmother and went to her room. The scent of cigarette smoke and alcohol filled her nostrils.

After the smoke, Faye brought her bag to her room. First she took a shower, being rather careful. After drying her hair, she put on her underwear, socks and a hoodie that was long enough to cover her butt. Although she always paid attention to her looks, she had currently an emotional low where she didn't care what she was wearing. She quickly straightened her hair with the straightener and then walked down the hall to Juice's room. Without thinking twice she went in and smiled briefly.

"Hey," she said softly, sitting cross-legged on his bed. 

He looked at her in surprise and reached for her hand. "Hey, I didn't expect you here today. Are you feeling so good again that you are allowed to go home?" he asked a bit skeptical and a worried look was on his face. 

"I'm fine. For the pain, I got pills and... well, with the rest, I just have to deal somehow. By the way, Adrian is helping Grace," she said , briefly squeezing the hand of her best friend. 

The radiance in his eyes didn't escape her, she saw how happy he was about tonight. "Okay good. I'll have to leave. Are you getting along? If you need anything, call me, understand?" Juice looked at her seriously, after which Faye nodded briefly. 

"I will. Just enjoy the evening and don't mess it up," she replied with a slight grin, though she was already scared to be alone. Nevertheless, she didn't want to destroy their evening. 

"See you tomorrow!" Juice got up at his words, helping Faye to her feet. 

Faye, on the other hand, gave him a kiss on the cheek and left the room again to sit down at the bar. "Hey uhm... is Happy here, mom?" she asked Gemma, nervously biting her lower lip, which Gemma also noticed. 

"I don't know, just came here about half an hour ago. Why Happy?" Gemma asked curiously, slapping her daughter's hand away when Faye reached for the whiskey. 

"Mom, I'm old enough and I can really use that right now!" With a desperate whine, she reached for the bottle again and poured something into a glass. 

"Mhm, sure you are, sweetheart." 

"I just wanted to... talk to him," she said softly and shrugged. There was uncertainty in her eyes. Should she talk about it with Gemma? "He just did a lot for me and... I really like him," she explained and then she emptied her glass of whiskey all at once. 

"You wanna tell me that you fell for a club member? You know how your dad will react, right?" Gemma sighed deeply, shaking her head. 

Now she really needed the whiskey.

* * *

"How was Faye feeling today?" Her mother asked as they sat around the table for dinner. 

"Okay, I think. At least she wasn't crying, but it's still a lot to take in for her." 

Her mother nodded, a sad expression on her face. A silence fell. Grace tried to eat her spaghetti without spilling, but it didn't take long before the first stain was on her shirt. She just felt too nervous about tonight. What if there would be too many awkward silences? She was just afraid he would find out that she wasn't as nice as he thought she was. "I'm going to a friend tonight," she told her parents without looking at them. 

"Some friend we know?" her mother asked on a suspicious tone. 

"Adrian," she muttered, quickly peeking at her face. 

Her lips turned into a satisfied smile immediately. "How nice. What are you going to do?" 

She shrugged. "Just watching a movie I think, and talk. We talked about the voluntary work I want to do and he said he would like to join me. We want to organize something with the rest of the church youth, some charity event to collect money." 

That was an idea they still needed to work out anyway, so it was a safe topic. Her mother's eyes were shining, Grace had a feeling she was already planning their wedding. She swallowed a sigh. She would be so disappointed if she found out with who she was actually dating and once more it hurt that Juice would never get a real chance because of his tattoos and leather jacket. 

After dinner, Grace took a shower and washed and dried her hair. A wide smile adorned her face, she couldn't wait to leave the house. In her bedroom she looked inside her drawer with lingerie. Even though they had agreed they wouldn't go further than they had done this morning, she chose the only bra that wasn't just plain black, but had pink ruffles on the side. She just wanted to feel confident and this was the less boring bra she had. Quickly she put on the garment, where after she looked for a blouse of which she let the two top buttons open. She couldn't help it, but she still thought about all the competition in the clubhouse and even though she wouldn't give him everything, she just hoped to keep his attention. And maybe... maybe he would open the buttons one by one and... 

Grace squeezed her eyes. "Stop it," she hissed to herself. "That's not the kind of person you are. Just keep it civilized." Warding off whatever other fantasy, she brushed her teeth and left the house, just as nervous as this morning, as she drove to the address he had given to her.

Grace was nervously playing with her hair as she rang the bell. It didn't take long before Juice opened the door and showed her a warm smile. 

"Hey," he said. 

"Hey!" A little awkwardly they stood in front of each other; Grace didn't know if she should give him a hug or a kiss and in the end she just stepped over the threshold so he could close the door.

There she was, the girl that he admired so much, standing in front of him. He tried to stay cool, like always when she was around. "You want something to drink?" Juice asked, clearing his throat; his mouth felt so dry. Before Grace could answer, he laid a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her close before kissing her gently.

His soft lips on hers gave her the feeling there was a swarm of butterflies racing through her stomach. Her hands ran up to his chest as she answered his kiss and let her tongue slide between his lips. For a moment they were caught in a tender kiss and when they ended it, her forehead rested against his and they stared each other in the eye. Without having to look away from his eyes, she knew he was smiling and the knowledge that she was the one making him smile gave her an incredible feeling. "Something to drink sounds good," she answered. She pecked his lips one more time before she looked curiously around, through the door leading to the living room.

"Okay... you can look around if you want," he whispered against her lips before he went into the kitchen and filled a glass with coke. "How was it in the hospital?" Juice asked as he came back to her, handing her the glass.

Grace sat down on the couch and looked around. It was a clean, organized place without much decoration apart from some Harley Davidson related things. There wasn't much personal stuff, no pictures, no magazines, no unnecessary things which made it feel more like a hotel room than a house, giving her the impression he didn't spend a lot of time here. "Faye was doing better," she answered. "Adrian was there when I arrived, so she hasn't been alone for a long time, and she told me Happy had stopped by too." She had hesitated a bit if she could tell him that, but then she remembered that Juice was her best friend and if Grace did know about Faye's feelings for the guy, Juice would surely do that as well. 

"Yeah, I saw her in the clubhouse before ‒ didn't think they'd let her leave the hospital so soon," he nodded, but it was good to know that Faye was home again, more people could keep an eye on her there. "Happy was there? Guess she was happy about that," the man smiled briefly. Maybe they would have a chance one day. 

Grace decided not to keep the focus on Happy and Faye; her friend should tell him himself what had happened between them. "How was your day?" she asked, sipping from the coke.

Juice sat down next to her, resting his elbows on his knees. "My day was good... better than any other day since a while," he said honestly. The fact that Grace had been with him today made everything better. "How... was yours?"

 Grace turned a bit more sideways so she could look at him while talking. "I enjoyed the movie," she said. "And I didn't find it easy to lie to my parents, but they believed that I was going to Adrian." She tilted her head a little as she looked at his face, a little worried. "You sound like you weren't very happy the past weeks or maybe even months. Something happened?" She knew it was a very personal question, but she wanted him to open up to her, she wanted to know who he was and how he felt about certain things.

"I'm sorry you had to lie to them because of me." He meant what he said. The last thing he wanted for her was to get into trouble with her parents. "But I'm glad Adrian helped you, it's nice of him." After clearing his throat Juice leaned back and carefully dragged her back with him. His fingertips glided up and down her arm. "No, nothing happened... it's just..." He had no idea how to explain his feelings, he always had had a problem with that. "It's just great that I met you, makes everything better." Juice shrugged briefly, pressing his lips together.

Grace leaned into him, enjoying his fingertips moving up and down her arm. His touch was so light it caused goose bumps. His words made her smile, he was just so sweet it made her shiver. "That sounds almost romantic," she said with a grin. "You don't think that will hurt your bad boy image?"

His lips curled up. "Oh, you're afraid my bad boy image could be hurt?" he asked teasingly, pulling her closer to him. "But yeah, I can be romantic." A soft chuckle left his lips.

Her head was resting against his chest as she looked up to him, his arm around her. It felt so good, as if she belonged in his arms. "You do? Convince me."

"Now? Nah, don't wanna hurt my biker image," he joked, chuckling softly. For a few moments he just studied every inch of her beautiful face before he softly pushed her so she was laying on the couch. He bent over her, resting his elbow next to her head.

Grace's heart jumped up. His face was really close, she could feel his warmth ‒ or maybe it was just the heat radiating from her own face. She pouted, looking up to him. "I'll tell no one," she promised.

Heat spread through his body again, the feeling of her skin under his touch felt even better than before ‒ maybe because they were really alone now and no one could interrupt them. "Mh fine, maybe I'll show you my romantic side," he smirked at her. Gently but yearning he pressed his lips on hers, slipping his tongue into her mouth.

Teasingly, she bit his lower lip. "This is not romantic, Juice, you kissed lots of girls." Caressing his cheek, she looked into his eyes. "Make me feel special." She grinned, kissing his lips briefly once again. 

"Don't expect too much from me. I've never really been romantic to anyone," he said with a quiet laugh, but he was really a bit overwhelmed. What would she like? He kissed her lips briefly and let his fingertips slide across her neck to her cleavage, where he began to play with the buttons of her blouse.

"Hey, you were the one stating that you can be romantic." The way he was toying with the top button of her blouse, called up a strong feeling inside her belly. She wondered why he was doing that, because the topic made him uncomfortable or because of what was underneath it was all he could think of. She longed for his touch again, but she also wanted this to become more than just physical. "When is the last time you've been slow-dancing with a girl?" she asked. The music she had heard at the clubhouse surely wasn't fitting for romantic dances, but Grace imagined standing very close to him, her arms around his neck and looking deep into his eyes would create a different intimacy than he was used to.

"Yeah well, I think I just wanted to impress you," he laughed softly. Juice looked at her cleavage and really wanted to touch her breasts again, running his fingers over her nipples just like a few hours ago. But no, he wanted to make it right with her, showing her that he was serious about this. "I uhm... think in high school," he answered, blushing slightly. Damn, when had he turned into such a womanizer, he thought for a moment before he stood up and reached for her hand. "But we can change that." He wasn't a big dancer, but the imagination of them dancing together made him curious. 

Grace took his hand so he could drag her on her feet. "I think I was fourteen," she said with a smirk. "And slow-dancing wasn't cool at all, so there was a meter between us." She laughed. "You know any romantic songs at all?" She stuck out her tongue.

"Who can possibly stay a meter away from you? Can't do that at all," he gave her his usual smirk and shrugged. "That's what YouTube is here for." He grabbed his phone and searched for a romantic song. He chose the first one he saw and put his phone aside after he pressed the play button. "Well, I hope I'm not too bad." He grabbed her hand, pulled her close to him and rested his other hand on her lower back. His forehead leaned against hers. 

Grace had to chuckle as John Legend started to sing "All of me". At least he had picked a real love song. "Never thought this would be your music taste," she grinned, laying both of her wrists over his shoulders. "Well, you can't do much wrong. Just hold me close, move a bit and show that breath taking smile of yours." She bit her lip, chuckling. "And I should probably shut up." She didn't know why, but being silent made her a bit nervous. She intertwined her hands and with her thumbs she brushed his neck as she looked into his glistening eyes.

"I just chose the first song that was displayed," he grinned. "But that doesn't sound so bad." Now he wrapped both arms around her waist, his hands resting on her lower back, close to her bottom. "You can always have that smile," he winked and he thought it was pretty cute that she kept talking. It didn't bother him, on the contrary. He tarted to move slowly with her and it felt good to do something like that with her ‒ although he never thought he would enjoy dancing one day. 

Grace smiled, but kept herself from talking. They danced for a while and looking into his eyes gave her a peaceful feeling. She loved his arms around her, the pressure of his hands on her back, his breathing against her skin. Before the song was ended, her eyes had wandered to that beautiful smile of his. Softly, she kissed his lips, allowing him inside. Gently their tongues played as her fingertips ran up to the back of his head.

This moment was just amazing. Everything was perfect. Her fingertips on his neck, her breathing against his skin, her scent. Juice didn't even notice when the song came to its ending. 

The intensity of their kiss increased as his hands slipped underneath her blouse and stayed on her bare back. She wanted to feel his skin too, but she didn't move her hands away, knowing it would even feel better as she kept waiting, and longing, a bit longer.

"Is this romantic enough for you?" he whispered against her ear, trailing soft kisses down her neck but barely touching her skin. He didn't just tease her, it was hard for him too.

Grace breathed in sharply at the feathery light touch of his lips across her neck. "Yes," she whispered, her hands gliding away from his head, along his shoulders down his sides, until they settled on his hips. She had wanted to make a smarter comment, but all she could think of now where his lips and his hands on her back. "I just... love the way you touch me," she whispered with a dry mouth, barely noticing she said the thought out loud.

His breathing trembled at her words. Oh how much he would love to touch other parts of her body. "Yeah, you do? I would love to touch every single millimeter of your body," he whispered in a darker voice against her skin, gently biting the crook of her neck. His hands returned to the buttons of her blouse, slowly opening the first one. 

His words made her knees feel weak, and even more as he started to unbutton her blouse. She laid a hand against his cheek until he looked up and swallowed a sigh. Her stomach was almost hurting because she wanted him to go on with this so badly. "Juice..." she said softly, gathering her courage. "I... I know all this is in a very early stage and I'm not asking you to become my boyfriend, but... I just... I just want to know if this," she pointed between him and her, "means that you won't sleep with other women. Even if... If I can't give you everything." Nervously she looked at him, afraid she ruined things now. But she had to ask it; if this was just fun for him, she didn't want to go to the next phase now.

Juice frowned, but there was still this typical smile on his lips. Gently, he brushed some of her curls out of her face, looking down at the girl. "Since I saw you, I only slept with one other woman, and only to keep her away from Happy. Since then I couldn't even think about any other women except you," he replied softly, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I know you can't give me everything and I don't have a problem with that. And who knows, maybe one day you'll want this too." Juice looked into her eyes. It would be hard to wait, who knows how long she wanted to wait ‒ but he wanted her so badly.

Her chest was swelling with love as he said those words to her. Had she really been the only one on his mind, even in the two weeks they hadn't seen each other? She however didn't take him for a man who would lie about that, not now. She had expected him to sleep with others until yesterday, she just didn't want him to do it after today. But that he had kept all the women away because he liked her so much... She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling her heart beat faster. "I really, really like you a lot," she whispered, kissing his lips.

It was so wrong to lie to her, to tell her what she wanted to hear ‒ so wrong. But Juice wanted to see her smile, wanted to see how happy she was. And she probably wouldn't be very happy if he told her with how many women he had slept the past days. But at least he had always imagined that she was the one underneath him, who touched him, moaning his name. His breathing trembled as his thoughts drifted away again. His fingers under her shirt moved up to her spine. "I really like you, too," he said in a hoarse voice, deepening the kiss immediately, closing his eyes as he pulled her close. 

He had already told her that he really liked her, but hearing it again filled her with warmth. Her hands glided up to his chest as they kissed, although she kept away from his direct skin. It was hard, she wanted to feel him, but she didn't think it would be good if they would spend the evening as they had spent the morning. She wanted to get to know him, wanted him to get to know her, because for a healthy relationship was much more needed than just enjoying each others touches ‒ although she loved the feeling of his fingers running up her spine, making her sigh softly against his lips.

After a while Juice broke away from the kiss, but his lips were still close to hers. His other hand stroked the skin over her cleavage and wandered down to her blouse and the buttons again. He had already gone further this morning, so she already knew how it felt when he touched her skin, her breasts. 

Very lightly his finger stroked her cleavage, making her long for more. When he moved his hand to the second button, she stopped him by covering his hand with hers, even though it felt like she was betraying herself. "I don't know if we should do this," she said softly. "Again. Don't get me wrong, I love your touch. It's just, all your... contacts.... with girls are like this. Touching and kissing. And I want more, Juice." She looked up to him, stroking his cheek very lightly with the back of her forefinger. "I want to know who you are, what you like, what you dislike. I don't want us to connect only physically, but also... mentally."

When he felt her hand on his, he stopped immediately, looking into her eyes. First he didn't understand, but the rest of her words made clear what she wanted, and that was okay. "Why don't you just ask me those questions, hm? I want to know you, too," he whispered, nodding briefly. A small grin formed on his lips. "Just ask me something..." 

Grace hooked her index fingers through his belt loops, her thumbs following the bare skin of his stomach right above his pants. There was a playful look in his eyes that made her heart sing and she could no longer resist to touch him. Not when he looked at her like that. "Okay," she said. "I'll ask you a question and you ask me a question and we have to give honest answers. You okay with that?" 

He smirked, his finger gliding down a button. "And for every honest answer I can open one of these?" 

"You're not giving up huh," she said, shaking her head, softly chuckling. Part of her was glad he didn't, for she wanted him to unbutton her blouse. There was no point in lying to herself; that had been the whole reason she wore this now and that she had picked her most beautiful bra, even though the thought that he would see that made her nervous. "Okay," she answered, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "A button for a question to both of us, starting with the lowest one before you already get the jackpot." Grinning, she tied the upper button again. "Are there any topics I should avoid? Can't expect you to trust me with all you secrets so soon." She winked.

Immediately, Juice went through hundreds of questions that he could ask, but for most, she would probably stare at him with her mouth open so he decided to choose other questions. "I'm surprised such an idea would come out of your mouth, but I like it," he said with a grin, studying her briefly. "Just ask me something. If it's too private I can still say no," he winked at her, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the couch. After sitting down, he gently pulled her on his lap. "You wanna start?" He looked at her with a mischievous smile. 

"Okay." Her knees were resting on the couch as she sat on his lap, his face towards him. She had to admit she was surprised too, but she just felt comfortable around him and the whole idea was just thrilling. She thought for a moment, studying his face as she thought about a question. "What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?"

He was excited as a little kid at Christmas when he looked at her blouse and waited for the moment he could open the first button. "Oh wow... wait a minute," he said thoughtfully, sinking briefly into his mind before looking at Grace with a grin again. "So there was a party a few years ago and I was pretty drunk. And there was a woman I liked and she was also interested in me. Well, after about an hour we disappeared in my room where I realized that there was not a woman standing in front of me." That was the most embarrassing thing he could remember, but he found it now quite amusing. "Am I allowed to open the first button now, huh?" he asked with his wolfish grin.

Grace laughed. "Wow, that must have been awkward. What did you do?" She looked into his shining eyes. "And no, you have to come up with a question first." She tapped his nose.

An almost sad look appeared in his eyes as she said no. "I stood there and stared at her... his... thing." He cleared his throat and let out a soft laugh. "She wasn't mad at me at all, it was kinda funny but in the first moment it was totally embarrassing. So, my question... Have you ever tried to take a sexy pic of yourself?"

"Did you two... still do things?" she asked, slightly blushing, but she had no idea where drunken people were capable of, and she just wanted to know it now he had brought up the topic. "I think the sexiest picture I took was one with puckered lips, but I doubt that's your definition of sexy," she grinned. He held her glance for a moment and she felt heat flowing through her veins. Would he ever ask her to take a picture like that? And even more ‒ would she do it? 

"Well... yeah..." He looked down for a moment, his cheeks turning slightly red. He had never talked about it, but he had been fucking drunk and curious. "Don't tell anyone, please." Juice looked at her again, his grin was back now. "Everything about you is sexy." But yeah, he'd love to see some sexy pictures in the future. Slowly, he opened the first button, running his fingers across her skin.

His words echoed through her head. She couldn't help it, but the thought that he might have had sex with a man was just disgusting, making the good feeling now he was touching her skin just disappear. She just stared at him, part of her hadn't expected that he had really done something like that. He looked so manly, there was nothing gay about him and she couldn't help it that she was shocked. "I eh... I need a drink," she muttered, standing up and walking to the kitchen to fill her former coke glass with water.


	26. Chapter 26

Juice stood up quickly, hating himself again. Since he had met Grace there were many moments that he wanted to slap himself in the face. Why was he so good in messing things up? "Grace, I was fucking drunk," he said softly, grabbing her arm and turning her into his direction. "I mean... there are many bisexual people out there ‒ nothing wrong with that." He had thought that she wouldn't judge him, but as it seemed he was wrong. "I'm not... but... like I said; I was drunk."

Grace sighed, running a hand across her head. Laying with a man was a sin, but no less than all the women he had slept with. Or being drunk. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She knew she shouldn't judge him, but the thought he'd been up in a man's ass or mouth just made her feel sick. She just couldn't help it. She took a deep breath, there were tears stinging in her eyes. "How long is it ago? Do you... remember things?" She bit the inside of her cheek, wondering if she even wanted to know the answers. But there was no point in keeping things from each other. She wanted them to stay together and she wanted to know him inside out, even if that meant that she would have to swallow confessions like this.

Was it so hard for her because of her religion? Or was it something else? It wasn't easy for him either, but it was okay for him. "No, it's okay. I just didn't want to lie," he shrugged and he wasn't mad at all, he was more mad at himself. "Years ago, Grace. I don't even remember much anymore but... we haven't slept together, that's a thing I can tell you." And that was the truth, not a lie to make her feel comfortable again. "Why is it so hard for you?"

"I'm glad you didn't lie." It was inevitable that they would discover sides about each other that they didn't like. She was relieved they hadn't slept together, but the other things still bothered her. With a sigh she dropped down on the couch again, rubbing her arms. "I don't know," she admitted. "It's just not how it's meant to be, even though I know most people disagree." She bent her head. "It's just... not something I'm used to, I guess. The idea just disgusts me, I'm sorry. I can't help it. Maybe... maybe because I'm just not experienced with anything myself." It wasn't just the fact that it was a man who had... touched him, it just referred to forms of sex she had never thought of and she felt embarrassed now. Having oral or anal sex wasn't exactly something she looked forward to and the thought of it already brought shame to her cheeks.

"There was no reason to lie," he shrugged briefly, sitting down next to her again. For a moment he stayed silent, having no idea what to say. "I don't get it, really. Doesn't God accept everyone? Also gay people? I know, you're not used to it ‒ believe me, I'm definitely not gay, but I was curious... and drunk," he emphasized once again. He put a hand on her thigh but immediately pulled it back because he was afraid to make it worse. Had she never kissed a girl? A friend to learn her how to kiss? Wasn't that what all girls did when they were teenagers ? Probably not.

"God loves everyone. No matter our race, our sexuality or our age. He loves people, but that doesn't mean that he is happy about everything we do. He hates lying, cheating, cursing, violence, and yes, also sexual outbursts." She dropped her eyes. "I don't even know if you touching my breasts is violating a rule," she muttered, suddenly feeling the shame wash over her.

"Holy shit, Grace..." he mumbled under his breath, running his hands over his face. There it was again ‒ the topic he hated. "Don't you get sick of it? I mean, you want to enjoy your life, right ? Getting intimate is one of the best feelings, why should it be wrong then?" Juice pulled her onto his lap again but this time her back was leaning against his chest, his arms wrapped around her body tightly. "I really want to understand your faith, but it's hard. Just don't think about those 'rules' for a few hours."

"I can't just forget about it Juice," she sighed, laying her hands over his and leaning with her head against his chest. She loved to sit in his embrace. Was this really wrong? No, she knew it wasn't, but what touches were okay and which ones weren't?

"You can, Grace. Enjoy your life for at least an hour, you're twenty and you never experienced something sexual. No one forces you to fuck around..." He paused and took a breath. How could he convince her to relax? "But do whatever you want. Only then you can find out if it's wrong or right." What the hell were the people and priests telling her in church?

"It's not that simple. You can neither forget about the constitution for a few hours and just go out and kill and steal. That's not how rules work." Her thumb stroked one of the golden skulls around his fingers. "Getting intimate isn't wrong," she said after a while. "It just belongs within a relationship. But what we already did... I think that belongs within a relationship too."

"You don't have to be in a relationship for that, you just have to feel comfortable around the person you get intimate with." His thumb stroked the back of her hand, his chin was resting on her head where he placed a soft kiss on her hairline.

Tears filled her eyes and she bent forward, leaning with her elbows on her knees. She took a deep breath, fighting the tears. She didn't want to cry. Not now, not with him. But again she knew this wasn't going to work. "I can't do that," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I already know it's the right thing to do those things within a relationship and not with anyone with whom it feels comfortable. I should stop lying to myself, stop looking for excuses because it just feels good. That's not a good measure."

Oh no, he didn't want to make her sad or overwhelm her ‒ that hadn't been his intention at all. "Hey, look at me," he said softly, turning her around and putting two fingers under her chin. Juice looked into her eyes, cupping her face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disrespect your faith, I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid every single time I touch you because I really don't want to mess things up again." He sighed, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "I want you to feel good, to find out how it feels if you let yourself go."

A tear had slipped her eye, which he wiped away with his thumb. "I don't blame you. I know it is difficult for you to understand, just like I find it difficult to understand your way of life, and I am really grateful that you are so careful." She moved her thumb to his cheek and rubbed his skin, looking into his worried brown eyes. "Maybe we should take a step back. I think it's for the best if we limit ourselves to kissing until eh, you know, you're sure you want a relationship with me." She blushed, nervously biting her lip. Maybe he never intended a long term relationship. Maybe he just wanted this because it felt good, for as long as it would keep feeling that way.

"It's just hard for me to change, you know? And I don't even want to change... and I don't want you to change either. I just want this to work," he answered in an almost desperate voice. It couldn't be that hard to make this work, right? "I can try, but it's hard to resist you, Grace. And I haven't had a relationship in years. I think it'll take a while..." Sighing, he laid down on the couch, dragging her along. At least he wanted to hold her in his arms.

"I never even had a relationship," she muttered, but maybe that was what made it easier for her. She found it hard to tell what would be the difference between what they were doing now and when they put a label on it. He had already told her he didn't want to be with other women. "I know I want you," she said, stroking his cheek. "But you can take your time, figure out what you want." She hesitated. "We can even stay friends first. You know, in case it will really take a lot of time before you're ready for something serious. Then eh, you could still be with other women, if you like, or maybe even need that." She dropped her eyes as she said those words, but she didn't hold them back. It would hurt, but she couldn't deny that kind of pleasure if that was so important for him.

He wanted a relationship with her, but it was new to him. And how long would it take before she would trust him enough to sleep with him? How should they have a relationship when her parents couldn't know about it? Having her as a girlfriend would be the jackpot, but he still needed to hide in public with her. It shouldn't work like that. "I don't want other women, I want you! And if we have a relationship I don't want to hide, Grace. I want to show everyone that you're my girl then. But you know that your parents won't accept this."

Grace buried his face against his chest as he snuggled closer to him as they were both lying on their sides. She inhaled deeply, taking in his scent. Her body pressed against hers felt so good, she didn't want to give him up. But he was right. There was no point in hiding it, not if they were really serious about it. She looked up again. "Then we won't hide it."

Juice had to admit that it also felt good just to lay next to her, holding her. He loved her touch and loved to touch her, but that this was more brought them even closer. Surprised, he looked down at her. "You would do that ? I mean... tell them?" he asked and he was quite surprised.

She kept looking at his face, her thumb tracing the line of his lower lip. What she felt for this man was real. "I would. If you are serious about me like I'm serious about you, I wanna do everything to make this last. And yes, that means telling my parents and start a war at home until they can look past their own wishes, but if you will be mine, it's worth it."

"I am serious about you, otherwise I wouldn't be here with you," he replied quickly, the words just blurted out. He had never been so serious about a girl, but he still had to figure out how a relationship worked. "I would love to show the whole world who my girlfriend is... but I don't want to be the reason why you and your parents start a war."

The fact that he wanted to show the world that she was his girlfriend, made her heart do flipflops. She wanted to be his girlfriend. She wanted him to be her first boyfriend. His last words however shook her up; she didn't want him to feel bad about himself. "You are not the reason, Juice. They are. They should trust me with making my own decisions and I know they are just having a hard time letting me go."

It was a good feeling that she would risk a big argument with her parents just because of him. It showed him even more that she wanted him, no matter how often he had messed up already. Juice ran his fingers through her blond curls and smiled weakly. "You have no idea what a great girl you are..." he whispered.

"I'm just as great as you are," she answered, pecking his lips. "Are we really going to do this? You really think you're ready? Since you... said before it could take a while?" She didn't want to rush it , not if he wasn't fully into it.

He chuckled softly and pulled her head even closer to his. "I mean... we can try, right? If it's not working we can still end it. But I think it could work," he said honestly. "We can still take it easy."

"Perfect." She draped one leg over his and looked at him, her head supporting with one hand. "You know... I don't even know how old my boyfriend is. Think my parents would like to know that." She wiggled her eyebrows.

He rested his hand on her leg and stroked her skin. "Oh right... we didn't even talk about that," he laughed. "I'm twenty-eight, is that too old for you?" he asked, smirking.

"Way too old," she stuck out her tongue. "If I'd known that..."

"Oh shut up," he laughed, pressing his lips against hers. His tongue slipped into her mouth, but only for a few seconds.

Grace chuckled, reaching for his lips again. Her hands slipped underneath his shirt, caressing his warm skin as she kissed him, more passionately than before.

It seemed like he finally had done something right ‒ and it was a great feeling. He deepened the kiss while his hands slipped under her blouse to touch her skin.

His touch felt even better now they were together. She trailed kisses from his lips to his ear, whispering: "Think we have answered enough questions now."

"Yeah, I think that too," he whispered back, his lips and the tip of his tongue gliding up her neck. "You have no idea how bad I want to feel you..." he whispered.

Her index finger curled around his navel, along his ribs to his chest. "Then touch me," she said with a soft sigh, looking into his eyes again.

He didn't hesitate at her words and started to open her blouse button by button. When he saw her bra and how perfectly her breasts fitted in, it got immediately tighter in his pants. "Damn girl, you're so perfect," he whispered to her.

A bit nervously Grace pressed her lips together. Her curls were partly covering her bra, but she still felt the urge to cross her arms in front of her chest. She had wanted him to see this, but suddenly she felt insecure and she remembered how many naked girls he had seen.

He looked up at her, seeing the insecurity in her eyes. "We don't have to do this now," he told her, his voice soft and calm while his fingers were wandering across her skin. He didn't want to force her to do anything.

Maybe it was better to wait, but part of her just wanted him to touch her. It wouldn't change a thing to wait with this anyway; the first time she would always be nervous. Furthermore she just wanted to give him something, show him she trusted him, for he had just agreed to start a relationship with her, despite the fact that he found it hard to commit himself to someone. "It's just... You have seen so many girls in this way and I... I'm just afraid you'll compare me to others and get... get disappointed," she said softly, but completely opening up to him.

He was glad that she opened up to him, told him what she was thinking ‒ that helped a lot. Juice smiled at her, looking into her eyes. "I have, yeah... but I'd never compare you to others. You're so different from them and you know that, right?" He put a hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. He knew that she wasn't experienced with any of this, and that was exactly what it made it even better. He was her first one.

"Well, I'm glad you've noticed the difference," she muttered, still too nervous to make it sound as lightly as she had meant to. His thumb stroking her cheek calmed her down a little, even though her heart was still racing in her chest. Her thumb stroked the wrist of the hand cupping her cheek, and somehow made her feel a little more comfortable that he looked into her eyes and touched her face instead of her bra. "Can you eh..." She blushed a bit, biting her lip. "Can you take off your shirt too?"

And again, he enjoyed her soft touch. No woman had ever touched him that way, he had never wanted it. That's why it was even more great to be touched like that. "Of course," he answered with a slight grin, sitting up and taking off his shirt. "You can always do that too if you want," Juice winked and he bent over her, for a moment just looking into her eyes.

Again his wink made her blush. She looked away from his eyes to watch his bare chest. She spread her hands across his warm skin, feeling the muscles, his smooth, tan skin. "You're so handsome," she whispered with a dry mouth as her thumbs moved upwards, stroking rib by rib, too absorbed by his beautiful body to think about her own insecurity.

"Am I?" he whispered against her ear, trailing kisses down her neck until he reached her cleavage. Each touch felt like a small electric shock, but in a good way. He pulled her gently up so she sat in front of him and brushed her blouse from her shoulders, kissing her free skin. God, she looked so beautiful and hot in her bra.

"Y-yes," she said a bit shaky because the touch of his lips on her skin was so heavenly. "Never before I wanted to touch or be touched by a man so badly." He chest heaved up and down as he dotted kisses from her shoulder down, until he stopped right above her bra.

"I'll touch you," he breathed against her skin. Oh, he would touch her. With a quick but gentle move he pulled her closer to him, his fingers slipping under her bra and only a moment later he brushed the fabric away from her left breast, taking her nipple between his lips.

Grace's eyes widened. She hadn't seen it coming at all and she gasped for breath. Her body tensed as the heat gathered in her belly. With a slightly opened mouth she stared at his face, at the way the muscles in his face moved as he sucked.

Affectionate but also demanding he sucked her nipple, which quickly became hard between his lips as he swirled his tongue around it. A soft, excited sigh left his lips. His hand wandered from her cleavage over her stomach, gently stroking her skin.

Grace's breathing left her lips in little jolts, louder than before. She leaned over to kiss the top of his head as her hand ran to his neck, massaging the muscles a bit roughly. "Oh... Juice..." she panted as he stopped after a hard suck, where after his tongue circled around her too sensitive nipple before he went on.

It didn't took long before he got hard, but who could blame him for that? He played with her waistband. "Tell me what you want, Grace," he whispered in a harsh voice against her lips, sucking briefly on her lower lip.

Between her legs, the muscles tensed as she heard his heated voice. "I ‒ I don't know," she muttered, her cheeks flushing. "I just... I just like it this way, with you taking the lead. What... what do you want?"

A wide grin formed on his lips. She looked so cute when her cheeks were flushing. "I want to feel you, touch you... I want all of you," he answered, his voice even darker now. No, he didn't need sex, he just wanted to feel her.

"You can get almost everything," she said, kissing his lips. "Just the... treasure for later."

"Got it," he replied, still grinning. He wanted to know how excited she was, how much she liked it. Slowly his hand slid over the inside of her thigh, up to her middle where it got a lot warmer.

Part of her felt insecure as his attention shoved to her lower body. She had thought he wanted nothing more than taking off her bra, but he had only uncovered a small part to suck her nipple. Had he been disappointed by their seize? Or anything else? Or was his mind just occupied by the only thing that was still forbidden? She felt how his hand slid higher, painfully slow, from the inside of her thigh higher until two of his fingers ran up her groins and his middle finger moved up along the stitching of her pant legs. The slow, pressing movement of his middle finger made her tilt her pelvis and she let out a soft sigh. The longing to touch him arose again. Although she had been lying on her back, she sat up straight now, on her knees, as she leaned over to him and starting kissing his neck, his shoulder and the upper part of his chest. Her hands reached for every piece of skin they could find, enjoying his soft skin and tensed muscles.

Juice sighed with relish, his hands moving to her back, searching for the clasp of her bra. With two fingers, he skillfully opened it and stripped the straps of the bra down her shoulders and put it to the side. He breathed in a bit sharper as he could now see her breasts. His muscles tensed, his whole body did.

Nervously, Grace swallowed. He placed both of his hands on her hips and moved them up, to the side of her breasts. He pressed them together, where after his fingers spread across her breasts, squeezing, while both of his thumbs pushed against her hard nipples until it hurt. Something between a whimper and a soft moan escaped her lips and she curved her back. His hands felt rough, his numerous rings cold against her skin. She closed her eyes as they started to knead, tilting her head back a little. It felt amazing, so much better than she could ever have imagined. He called up intensive feelings everywhere, making her skin so sensitive it felt like his touches were covered in warm oil.

"Does that feel good, huh?" he whispered against her ear, pressed his lips to the spot below her earlobe. "You want more of that?" His voice turned more hoarse than before. With lust in his eyes, he looked into hers.

The look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, his touches on her skin... He just drained all thoughts out of her head. Her fingers climbed up his neck, caressed his face, her lips still slightly parted as she breathed out. "I do," she whispered in a deep voice. "Just don't stop." She held his glance. There was a dark gleam in it, one that chased shivers through her body ‒ but in a pleasant way. Her lips brushed his again, the tip of her tongue sliding along the curving of his lip.

Her words made him smile, which turned into a grin a moment later. She didn't want him to stop, that was a good sign, right? "I won't." It almost sounded like a promise. His thumb touched her lower lip before her tongue slid along his lips. An almost shaky, soft moan escaped his throat while his hands glided down her body until he reached the bottom of her jeans.

His soft sighs and moans encouraged her to deepen the kiss, to pour all those intense feelings into it. She laid her hands on his shoulders and pushed him backward, until he laid down on his back. Their eyes met when the kiss broke and she leaned over to him, until their bare stomachs were touching. The pressure of his body against hers felt so good it made her gasp. Again she kissed his lips, but before his tongue slid back into her mouth, she trailed kisses down his chin, his neck, his chest, slowly moving lower and lower, past his navel, until she reached his waistband. She pulled it down just a little bit, just enough to feel the heated skin underneath it. Slowly she sucked his skin, her hand moving across the bump in his pants. For a moment there was that nagging feeling in her stomach again, whispering that she went too far, but she pushed it away. Feeling how much he enjoyed it, how much she enjoyed it, was enough to silence her conscience for a moment.

He wanted her to try things out, to gain experience ‒ but from what it looked like, she knew exactly what she needed to do to get him out of his mind. His chest heaved up and down faster as she spread kisses all over his body. He leaned on his elbows and watched her, every single move. Everything felt hotter as her lips touched his skin. But when Grace began to suck on his skin and moved her hand across his bump, he let out a groan and buried a hand in her hair. Now he was the one who didn't want her to stop, contrary, he wanted more.

Her curiosity got the best of her as her fingers stroked the swelling in his pants, determining its outline. Juice's fingers had entangled in her curls, brushing her hair out of her face as she slowly moved her face upwards, again leaving wet kisses on his stomach and chest. She purposely kept a little distance between their bodies, so that her lips, her nipples and her curls were the only things tickling his skin. Her path of kisses ended right underneath his left ear. "What do you think?" she whispered. "Am I going the right way here?" She knew she did, his body language made that all too clear, but she wanted to hear that dark, steamy voice of him again.

It wouldn't be long before he lost control. How could a man hold back with such a woman? His member pressed hard against his jeans, his grip in her hair becoming more demanding, but he didn't hurt her. Grace knew how she could tease him. Her nipples and curls that tickled his skin gave him goose bumps. "Hell yeah, you do," he whispered against her ear, his voice dark and almost sounding as if he was out of breath. He rolled her over so she was back under him. He looked her deep in the eye for a while and then opened the button and zipper of her jeans, his fingers touching her skin. "Want me to make you feel good?" he whispered in her ear. He wasn't about to sleep with her as long as she didn't want it, but there were other ways to please her.

There was no panic when he opened the button of her pants and her zipper, when his fingertips brushed her underwear. Part of her even longed for the continuation of his touch, wanted to feel something new, something that would make her forget about everything else she had ever experienced before. But if he got into her pants, the border would be shifted further and further. No touches below the belt felt safest, especially so early in their relationship. She knew she had to be the one indicating when they had to stop, for he wouldn't do it. And it was hard, it probably would always be hard, but it was something she had to learn. She flung her arms around his neck and looked into his stormy eyes. "I already feel really, really good," she whispered against his lips.

"Do you?" he asked, a smile on his lips at her words. He pressed a gentle kiss on her lips and then slid down so he could take off her jeans. Slowly, he brushed the fabric down her legs and laid them on the floor. His hands brushed her legs, then he leaned forward, letting his lips slide over the inside of her thighs, up to her hips, her stomach, and then her breasts. He didn't want to devote himself to her private parts, who knows how Grace would react. Instead, he placed himself between her legs, kissing her neck and jaw, but his bulge pressed against her middle.

Grace hadn't succeeded in stopping him. She just couldn't, as soon as he had started to peel her jeans off his fingertips and kisses had just mesmerized her. His lips on her tights, her hips... it still made her shiver. Now he was lying on top of her, his jeans still on while she was almost naked. She looked for his eyes and brushed his cheek, softly sighing. "If you would only wear your boxers now, do you think you could control yourself?" she asked.

He thought about her question, and yeah, the answer was clear. "Probably not, can you blame me for it?" he asked, smiling briefly. "And I don't want to ruin this... I really don't," Juice admitted quietly, running his fingers through her blond curls. "But we can try... if it makes you feel more comfortable."

"If not I'll just slap you in the face," she grinned. "No hard feelings. Cause, you know, I rather feel your bare skin." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"How nice," he laughed briefly, but that would maybe be the best to get him down on earth again. Juice nodded, a playful smirk on his lips. "Why don't you take care of it then?"

"I'm comfortable lying pressed underneath you," she said with a smirk. "Don't wanna get cold."

"Now I have to do all the work, huh?" he chuckled but he managed to put down his jeans without moving much. "Hope you didn't get too cold," he winked and now she could clearly feel the excitement down there.

Grace bit her lip as she looked up to him. "Think you need to warm me up a bit." Her hands moved across his back, kneading his muscles. He leaned on his elbows as he crept a little higher, kissing her again. His erection pressed between her legs, right through the fabric of their underwear she could feel how warm and hard he was, making the muscles in her lower regions contract.

"That shouldn't be a problem," he breathed against her skin, relaxing completely as she started to knead his muscles. Feeling her middle against his hard member made it even harder for him to resist. Slowly, really slowly, his hand slid down her body and between her legs. "You tell me if it goes too far," he mentioned again and he let his fingertips glide across her slip.

She breathed in shakily as his fingers stroked the thin fabric. She shivered as she looked into his eyes. There was still a sweet look in it. "It's hard to decide what's too far," she muttered. "I never wanted you to take off my pants but I just... couldn't sto- ah," she moaned as his finger put pressure on a very sensitive spot. In a reflex she widened her eyes and rolled her hips. Her mouth felt suddenly dry and she looked almost desperately at him. "Kiss, kiss me Juice."

This went much further than expected, but he couldn't stop ‒ this time he couldn't back down, not like in the morning. A grin formed on his lips as she started to moan, which turned him on pretty much. "With pleasure," he whispered, pressing his lips on hers, exploring her mouth with his tongue again. He couldn't resist and let his finger slide under the fabric. As he felt how wet she was, he let out a soft groan.

"I... I think you should stop," she panted, even though her voice lacked any conviction. It seemed like her body acted independently from her brain, with her hand she led his head to her breasts again, hoping to feel his lips once more around her nipple. His fingers seemed magical as they did whatever they were doing down there, finding exactly the right spots and knowing just how long to touch or stroke her to make her go crazy.

"Come on... you're also enjoying this," he whispered, his lips trailing kisses down her neck again to her breasts. Well, Grace led his head to her breasts, another sign that she wanted this, right? He took her left nipple between his lips, swirling his tongue around it. The tip of his middle finger pressed against her entrance, with his thumb he rubbed her clit softly. Meanwhile his lips softly pressed against her ear again. "Don't you wanna know how it feels? Let me love you, Grace... let me show you how good it feels when I'm inside you," he whispered, nibbling on her earlobe.

The whole area around his fingers was throbbing. It felt so amazing it draped a veil over her thoughts, until his whispers pushed the mist away. "We can't," she whispered. "I'm - I'm sorry," slurring the words because it was hard to think while he was teasing her. "But this... this already feels amazing." She swallowed, spreading her legs a little more.

She was so ready, he could feel it around his fingers. This would be the perfect moment to go further. Something told him she wanted it too, but he could mess it up again. But it was never so hard for him to resist. "You're not curious how it feels when I'm fully inside you? Sucking on your nipples while I thrust into you?" his voice got darker, it was full of lust. Slowly, he pushed his finger deeper and he felt how tight she was.

"Just shut up," she hissed, not remembering she had ever said that to someone before. Eagerly she kissed his lips again. But yes, she was curious, she felt his finger slid inside her and she imagined it was something thicker, something longer.

A chuckle left his lips at her words. He hadn't expected that, but he found it amusing that she could no longer resist him. He started to thrust his finger deeper into her and slowly he felt her widen a bit, so he added a second finger. Even he couldn't hold back some gasps. "You feel so good, so tight," he growled softly. His member would probably explode soon, but he wanted to satisfy her, show her how good that could feel.

Her skin felt flaming hot, and her breathing became heavier as he shoved his fingers back and forth inside her, while his thumb drew circles around the most sensitive spot. It didn't take long before she couldn't kiss him anymore, before she just focused all her attention to his movements inside her. She rolled her head from left to right, and back, not able to lay still while arching her back. "Oh Juice," she moaned, panting, her voice shaky but dark. "What are you doing to me?"

Juice couldn't stop looking at her, her features, her slightly parted lips and the moaning was like music in his ears. "You tell me..."

His words, the tone of his voice, his fingers ‒ it was getting too much for her. Tension built up in her belly and she tilted back her head. Without purposely steering her hips, they started moving as if that could help him get deeper inside her. Her voice changed, sounding higher as a moan slipped her lips. Her nails dug into his shoulders as if she would fall if she would let go of him now.

As her hips moved, his fingers glided automatically deeper into her but not too deep so he wouldn't take away her virginity. "Cum for me..." he whispered. Watching her cum under him made him almost come, too. The nails in his shoulders gave him a sweet pain that he enjoyed, a wide grin was on his lips while he started to rub her clit even more.

Suddenly waves of pleasures were rolling over her, spreading a tingling heat across her body, even to her toes. They dragged her to a corner of her mind were a satisfying quiet was embracing her, filling her with an unknown joy.

As the storm inside her passed, she turned away a little so he stopped touching her, since it was so sensitive now it was almost starting to hurt. Closing her eyes, she let out a shaky sigh. Her whole body felt clammy and Juice's skin was sticking against hers. "That was amazing," she whispered. Her cheeks flushed as something dawned on her. "Was that really... an orgasm?" she wondered out loud. "Or did it just feel... great?"

As she turned away Juice pulled his hand back and cleared his throat. The bulge in his boxers wasn't smaller yet. He just studied her, giving her time to breath and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "I'm glad you liked it," he replied softly before he smirked. "Well, you should know... but I think it was definitely an orgasm."

Her face still felt hot. "Never thought I would experience that when I came here," she said softly. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close even though he felt a bit heavy. "You're something else, Juice," she said, kissing his forehead, and then his nose, and the corner of his mouth. "I find it hard to believe we really did this. That you managed to get a good church girl who had never kissed before yesterday, to lie underneath you almost naked." Her fingertips stroked his sides, she just couldn't keep her hands away from him.

"Sometimes things happen that you least expect," he nodded, still not leaning on her with his full weight, instead resting his arm next to her head. A warm feeling spread through his body as she spoke and kissed him, something he had long wanted to feel again ‒ and Grace made him feel that way. "I didn't think you'd trust me so quickly, but I'm glad," he caressed her cheek and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"Neither did I. But I feel so comfortable around you, it feels like we know each much longer." With her thumb she stroked his bottom lip, sighing. "I'm afraid I have to go soon."

"You can stay... or we can see each other tomorrow. I mean, if you want."

"I want to stay," she said, "Just here in your arms. But there's no way my parents will allow me to stay the night away."

He wrapped his arms closer around her, her head resting on his shoulder and his chin resting on her head. "I know, even though I don't want you to go..." he whispered.

She kissed him again, slowly. "You could come by tomorrow night to meet my parents?" she suggested.

His eyes widened. "Are you serious? You already want to start the war between them and you?" he asked. But why not? He had no problem meeting them. "But if you really want that, we can do that."

"We'll have to tell them anyway," Grace shrugged. "I'd just be relieved if we'd gotten over it. If we wait for days while still seeing each other I would be lying to them about where I am and that will only make things worse."

"Makes sense..." He sat up, pulling her with him. "I know how hard this is for you, all of this ‒ but hopefully they'll like me one day." Of course they wouldn't, but he'd say anything at the moment to make Grace feel good. 

"I'm sure they will like you," Grace said, and she really believed that. "As soon as they really get to know you and are able to look past their prejudices, they will see what a great man you are." She moved to the right to pick her bra from the ground and started to dress herself again.

"I hope so, I really do,"  and that wasn't even a lie. If he wanted this to work between them, he needed to get her parents on his side. Juice studied her body once more before it was covered again. "When do you want me to be there tomorrow?"

Grace finished the last buttons of her blouse and put on her jeans. "Around 8? That's around coffee time."

Juice stood up and got dressed again, too. "Sure, sounds good," he nodded, wrapping his arms around her from behind, kissing her shoulder. 


	27. Chapter 27

Faye spent the last hour in her room with the whiskey bottle from before. When she saw Abel she couldn't stay with them, it just broke her heart. Sure, she felt bad because it was her nephew, but Jax understood. Half of the bottle was emptied by now and her head already hurt, so she stopped drinking. Sighing, she stood up and left her room. Her knees felt weak and she felt dizzy.

Miles' Faye-radar started to beep as he saw a movement from the corner of his eyes. For some reason he always sensed when she was around. She wasn't walking straight, obviously anything but sober, and a little worried he walked up to her, before one of his brothers ‒ especially Happy ‒ would do that. "Hey," he said. "You okay?"

Faye stumbled over her own feet, dropping the bottle to the floor. "Oops..." she murmured and then she saw Miles standing next to her. "Yeah, I'm fine. I think I just drank too much... and the painkillers plus the alcohol were probably not the smartest thing I've ever done." She nodded eagerly.

Miles wrapped an arm around her. "You need to sit before you break your neck," he said, leading her to the couches. "Didn't they tell you to stay away from booze?"

She raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'm really fine, Miles." She smiled at him but there was no chance that he'd leave her alone to drink more. "They did... but I needed something." With a deep sigh she sat down on the couch and ran a hand through her hair.

Miles nodded. "So you still aren't feeling much better?"

Faye cleared her throat. "Not really," she admitted, but Miles wasn't the person she wanted to discuss her problems with. "Thanks for the flowers by the way... and for not saying anything." She wasn't sober, but she still remembered things.

Miles felt a bit stupid for the flowers; none of his brothers had done that and he hadn't even given them in person because her kiss with Happy had shocked him. He had just left them on the table when she was asleep. "I know when to keep my mouth shut," he said. 

She had to admit that she felt a little bad for him. He had wanted to be nice, but he had came at the wrong time. "Yeah... I'm glad about that," she mumbled under her breath.

"So... was that a one time thing?" he asked as casually as he could.

She nodded briefly. "It was." Well, that was a big lie, but Happy would probably be so pissed off if she'd tell Miles the truth. And it was way too risky to do that.

Miles wanted to believe her so desperately that he decided just to do it. "Well, if I can do anything for you the next days, or if you ever want to eh, hang out with me, you can always come to me."

"Thanks, Miles, that's really nice," she said politely, and she was really thankful. It was a nice gesture. "But I'm better off alone for a while I think. I don't want to spoil the good mood with my problems."

"Oh, don't worry about that," he winked. "Solving problems is a daily business around here."

Faye chuckled briefly as she had the feeling the whole place was turning around her. Yeah, whiskey was definitely great. "Well, maybe I'll take the offer one day!"

Miles smiled satisfied. From the corner of his eyes he looked at her. Damn, why was she so hot? Even with that sad look in her eyes she drove him crazy. He wanted to make her feel better, wanted to make her forget about the pain for a while. Wasn't that what Happy had been doing? His lips longed for a kiss as well, his hands were dying to feel her skin. He however didn't know what his next move should be. He just kept sitting next to her, partially hoping she would fall asleep against his shoulder so he could carry her to her room, stroking her hair from her face... let his fingertips glide down her neck, to her breasts... His pants became tighter around his crotch. He knew his thoughts were wrong, he knew he would lose his patch if he ever did that, but he just couldn't stop his lustful thoughts.

Faye studied Miles, who was seemed to be lost in thought ‒ though she was too drunk for a profound conversation anyway. Nevertheless, she wondered what was going on in his head right now. "You look thoughtful. What are you thinking about?" she asked curiously, turning slightly to the side to be able to look at him better, while laying her arm on the back of the couch.

Miles shook off his thoughts, feeling the heat spread to his cheeks. If she only knew... "There's just... a girl I like and about who I was thinking," he admitted, before she would somehow sense he would lie to her.

Faye looked at him surprised. "Really? That's great! Why are you sitting here with me then?" she asked with a smile on her lips. 

Miles shrugged his shoulders, suddenly feeling very stupid that he brought up the topic. "Because... it don't think she has feelings for me."

"Well, you will never know if you don't try to find out. Talk to her, show her how much you like her." She nodded eagerly. Wait ‒ since when did Miles have feelings for a woman? He never was the relationship type. "Why did you join the bet then? Oh my god, is it Grace you like?!"

"Grace?" he said, wrinkling his nose. "No man. I love hot chicks. Not... that. Sure, don't mind to do her if I earn 400 bucks with it but that's all."

 "Hey, she's hot! Hotter than some other girls here," she replied quickly. "But you think you can impress the girl you like when you start such a bet? Show her that you only want her!"

"The whole bet is just a joke, she'll get that," he answered. It was ironically that the girl he was talking about had even joined the bet herself.

 "Okay fine! Do I know her ? Is she from here?" She looked at him with her green eyes. Her eyelids felt heavy and she was tired, but she didn't want to sleep.

Miles hesitated. Should he just tell her? She was drunk, there was a fat chance she would remember anything the next morning. But still... He didn't want Clay to know. "I don't know," he answered vaguely. He bit her lip. No, this was stupid. This wasn't helping him at all. "Maybe you do, she's working in a kindergarten." He swallowed, wondering if the penny would drop now.

Faye didn't understand why he was so nervous, it was just about a girl, no big deal. But she became more curious every second that passed. As he mentioned a girl who worked in a kindergarten, she had to think for a moment. But then it hit her like a truck. "Holy shit, you serious?!" The words blurted out of her mouth.

Miles stared at her, his heart suddenly pounding in his throat. Did she know now? Or was this just a drunken hunch? "Serious? About what?" he asked as calm as he could.

"Is it me?" she asked. God, she would feel so stupid if it wasn't her in the end! But this wasn't better. On the other hand, it would all make sense. The flowers, why he had asked if this between her and Happy had been a one time thing...

"No," he answered with a growl. "Why'd you think that?"

Faye's eyes widened as she heard him growl. "I-I don't know... because of the kindergarten maybe," she mumbled. Her face was red because she felt so embarrassed. "Sorry..."

Miles tried to swallow the nerves, but they just seemed to be everywhere inside his body. "But if I'd said yes?" he asked, on a less loud tone than he usually spoke.

Now she was hella confused. Was it her or was it some other girl? "You know this could never work. I'm Clay's daughter, he'd probably beat the shit out of you and you'd lose your patch." She didn't mention that it was because she had feelings for someone else, Miles would know immediately that she meant Happy and she couldn't risk that.

"Of course I know it will never work," he muttered. "And I never said you're the one I have feelings for. I was just curious if you.... I don't know... feel attracted to me." He shrugged, trying to create the impression he asked that every girl.

Faye sighed and looked at her hands, playing with the upper part of her grey top. "No, I'm not... I'm attracted to no one around here." She really didn't want to hurt him or something, that's why she slowly stood up. "I should go home..." She stroked her hair back and looked around. "Have you seen my bag? I need my car keys..." 

"You can't drive now, Faye," he sighed, feeling disappointed as hell because of what she had said to him. "Let me take you home."

"I can, really..." she assured him, swallowing the lump in her throat. She couldn't even walk straight, but she had the feeling that she had disappointed him. "I - uhm... okay..."

"Come on, let me take you home. When was the last time you saw your bag?"

"Okay..." she nodded briefly. "Oh right, behind the bar..." Faye remembered. Should she really let him drive her home?

Miles stood up, walked to the bar and looked around for her bag. He picked it up from a corner and walked back to her, glad she trusted him enough to take her home.

"Thank you," she muttered, breathing out shakily. She felt sick because of the alcohol but didn't want to puke. "Let's go please..." she walked out.

Miles laid a hand on her back as they headed for the exit, only because she walked so wobbly he was afraid she would fall otherwise. He helped her in his car and drove her home. Before she left, he cleared his throat, thinking about her kiss with Happy again. "If you ever need anything, just let me know. I wanna help you. Even... even in the way Happy helped you yesterday."

The whole ride Faye had to focus on something, otherwise her breakfast would be everywhere except in her stomach. As they reached the house, Faye leaned her head against the window and looked at Miles. "Thanks, but I don't want to bother you..." His words made clear what he had actually meant her before, when he talked about the girl. "Miles? I am the girl you talked about? Please don't lie to me..."

"There's no girl. But no, I wouldn't mind to kiss you. And you told me you had feelings for no one and you still kissed Happy, so why wouldn't we?"

Great, she had no really good answer to his question. It was a damn smart one. "Well... I-I don't know," she whispered, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Miles' fingers itched to touch her face, but he didn't dare. "So...." he said, clearing his throat. "If you seek some... distraction, I can always help you."

Faye scratched the back of her neck and swallowed. "Uhm... thanks but... I don't think that's a good idea," she murmured softly, grabbing her bag an getting out of the car quickly.

"And you think doing it with Hap was a good idea?" he asked, suddenly feeling both angry and desperate.

Faye leaned against the car and breathed in shakily. The anger in his voice kinda scared her. "I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry..." she answered loud enough for him to hear her.

Miles rolled his eyes. "Yeah. OK. Never mind. I'll get a whore at the clubhouse then." He closed the door of the car and drove away, still angry.

Faye's mouth dropped open at his words. What the hell was wrong with him? She shook her head and walked inside. She ignored her dad and Gemma who were sitting in the living room and went to her room.

* * *

Miles had taken a few drinks at the clubhouse, but he kept feeling horrible. He had been so stupid. Why did he say those things to Faye? With a grim face he looked around. Part of him wanted some distraction, wanted just to fuck, but at the same time he knew he would only feel disappointed in the end. No one would touch him in the way he wanted to be touched by the President's daughter. As Miles sipped from his drink, he noticed that all his brothers were around, except for Juice. He remembered the man's words; that Grace would come to his apartment. The idea of it pissed him off even more. Why did Juice get what he want, but didn't he? He didn't care for the saint, but he just couldn't bear the thought that anyone felt happy with a girl now.And he knew the perfect way to ruin it. The prospect to see the girl's face, and that of Juice, brought a grin on his face. He opened his wallet, checked the money everyone had added to the bet and saw it was quite a sum. Putting the thing in his pocket again, he walked out, climbed on his bike and rode to Juice's apartment. On the sidewalk, just out of sight of the window, he sat down on his Harley and waited for the couple to come out.


	28. Chapter 28

For hours now she was lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling. What the hell was this with Miles? Whatever it was, she felt really uncomfortable. Was she the girl he had talked about? Why had he offered her to do the same as Happy had done for her? And then her thoughts turned to Happy again. Slowly, she closed her eyes and imagined him lying next to her, holding her in his arms. Would that ever happen again? Should she tell him that she is back home? She hesitantly reached for the phone lying on the bed next to her. 

 _Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I'm back home. Thank you again for the visit in the morning, you were really a great help,_  she sent the text and sighed softly. Could she ever be his Old Lady ? No, but she could still dream. 

There were so many thoughts buzzing through her head, but most of all the fact that she couldn't have children anymore. Without even realizing it, she put a hand on her stomach and ran her thumb across it. The thought of never being pregnant broke her heart. She would probably quit her job tomorrow and look for something where she wasn't surrounded by children. That was the best for everyone.

* * *

Happy was just having his way with Rowena as his phone buzzed. The times he got messages that were not club related were countable on one hand, so he couldn't ignore it. With a grunt, he pushed the girl away as he grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He opened the text and stared at the words for a while, immediately thinking back to her love declaration that morning. Great. What should he answer? He couldn't think of more than _No problem, take care_  and tossed the device away. Rowena's fingers glided down his hard member and a moment later he felt her lips around it. He however was no longer in the mood because he knew it would hurt Faye if she knew what he was doing now. "Leave," he told the whore. 

A little confused she looked at him, but instead of asking questions she nodded and started to clothe herself. Right before she left the room she looked over her shoulder, hopefully, as if she hoped he would change his mind, but he didn't and she walked away. 

Sighing, Happy leaned back on his bed, thinking about the time he had been here with Faye. Part of him knew that shouldn't happen again, but deep down he also knew that it definitely would make her feel better and that was worth something as well...

* * *

Faye quickly checked her phone when she heard it buzzing. It was a short reply, maybe he was with someone else or club business. Or he wanted to stay away from her. Sighing, she took all her courage and dialed his number.

Happy stared at the screen. She was calling him. Why? Was there something wrong? A minute ago everything seemed to have been fine. Was she drunk again? Then it was probably wiser to ignore her, but the little, little chance that there could be really something wrong, made him pick up the phone.

Faye was hella nervous, but she needed to tell him what had happened between her and Miles. He was pretty pissed as he left, so who knew what he would do. And yeah, she wanted to hear his voice. "Hey uhm... I don't want to bother you but it's about Miles." She told him every single detail of what had happend. "And now I'm kinda afraid that he could say something to Clay because I rejected him."

"He won't," Happy assured her. "He knows I'll kill him, but I'm gonna pay him a visit to beat some sense into him. Has he lost his fuckin' mind? He can't say those things to you." He gritted his teeth.

"Yeah, he probably won't... but if he does, we both have a problem. But don't be too hard on him, otherwise he'll be even more pissed," she murmured softly. "I think he just said it because I was drunk and thought that I wouldn't remember his words tomorrow."

"You won't have a problem," Happy assured her, knowing it was true. Clay would never ever do something to his daughter. "And I don't care what he was thinking, this was off limits."

"I know, but you'd have a problem and I don't want that," she replied quickly. A smile formed on her lips when she listened to his voice, his words. "What are you doing right now?"

"Eh not much," he said. "I was in bed when you called," he answered, not entirely sure what the meaning of that question was.

"So you don't have anything to do right now?" she asked, sitting up, running her fingers through her hair. "Maybe... uhm... maybe you want to meet somewhere? I can't sleep and I'd like to be with you..." she said quietly.

Happy sighed. "I don't think we should, Faye. I think we should keep our distance until your feelings for me are gone."

Faye swallowed, tears itching in her eyes. "You really think my feelings for you will ever go away? You know that won't happen. So... we'll keep our distance forever now?" Her voice trembled.

"Don't say stupid things like that," he grunted. "Or course they will go away. You'll find the right guy, I'm sure of it."

"Stop! Grace said that too, but you all don't get it, right ? I love you Happy, I do since... I don't know, months? You're the person I think about before I fall asleep, when I wake up. It's not that easy!" she sobbed, trying to keep her voice down because of her parents.

"Months?" He couldn't help but laugh. "Girl, that's barely worth mentioning." He had been afraid she had been in love with him for years, but this gave him good hopes that she would get over it.

"I mean... I fell in love with you around two years ago but I love you since... a few months," she said through gritted teeth. "You know what? Fuck you. Keep fucking your stupid whore." She hung up before he could notice that she started crying.

Happy sighed. That had been harsh. But maybe it was for the best, maybe she would forget about him when she would hate him.

Faye threw away her phone, stood up and got fully dressed again. She felt sick, was hurt and wanted to get away from here for at least a few hours. Maybe Grace had a better evening with Juice than she had.

* * *

With the back of her head Grace leaned against his chest, feeling content in his embrace. Her thumb glided along his knuckles. They kept standing there for a while, until Grace realized she really had to go. Going away wouldn't become any easier anyway. She freed herself from his arms and walked to the hallway. Right before she opened the door, she turned around and gave him another long kiss and a brief hug. "This was an evening I will never forget," she said with a slight blush.

"I won't forget it either," he told her, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. He put on his shoes and followed her outside, it was dark and there was no way he would let her go alone, especially not now.

Grace frowned as she saw a man sitting on his bike, who had been playing on his phone and put the device away now he saw them. He had clearly been waiting for them. It was too dark to see who it was, and she looked over shoulder to Juice.

He laid an arm around her shoulder and looked at the man on the bike, immediately recognizing him. "What are you doing here?" he asked Miles, stepping closer. 

"You won the bet, right? Thought I'd come and congratulate you in person, have a beer to celebrate it. You won 350 bucks by getting into the church girl's pants and you told me you would do it here tonight, so I figured it was a hint you wanted to get paid immediately." With a smirk Miles pulled his wallet out of his pocket and took out the money, waving with it. He looked at their faces. Both their eyes were wide, they were clearly in shock. Oh, this was wonderful. This cheered him up immediately. 

Grace could only stare at Miles. What... what was going on? Had they bet on who would get into her pants? Tears jumped into her eyes as she turned towards Juice. "Was this... was this only to earn money? Some sick game with your friends?" She stepped away from him. Her whole body was shaking. He had played her and she had been unbelievably stupid that she had fallen for it! How could she have been so naive?! "Oh I've been so stupid," she sobbed, rubbing her eyes because she didn't want to show those assholes how hurt she felt. 

"Yeah, you were," Miles smirked. "We already took the bet the first day you showed up. Rat, me, Sack, Hap, Juice... even Faye." He laughed. 

Grace stepped away from the two men, her legs wobbly. Even... even Faye? None of them had truly liked her, it was all about the money??

Juice stared at Miles, his body tensed and the urge to beat the shit out of him arose in him. "You stupid asshole," he growled, pushing him so hard that Miles almost lost his balance. He wanted to beat him, yell at him, he even wanted to see him dead on the ground right now, especially after he looked at Grace. There was so much sadness and even anger in her eyes that it broke his heart to see her like that. She was an innocent girl, she had trusted him and Miles destroyed everything with a few sentences. "Grace, listen, I'm sorry, okay? Yes, there was a bet but I only joined to keep the others away from you. I thought they'd give up if they saw that you're with me..." he tried to explain, grabbing her face. "And Faye... she joined because of the same reason, that's a thing I can promise you." 

"Don't touch me." Grace slapped his hand away from her face. "That lame excuse is even worse than the whole bet. You think I'm really that stupid? You could have told them that I was with you without joining the bet." She shook her head, anger and pain were rushing through her. "I can't believe you did this to me," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. She turned away from him and wanted to walk to the street.

Miles was still leaning against his bike with a smirk on his face. "Asshole," she hissed. The look in his eyes filled her with anger and after a small run-up she ran into his bike so that it fell over, the man still on it. He fell backwards on the ground, his bike partly on top of him and for the first time in her life Grace wished someone was hurt. Rubbing the tears from her eyes so she could see were she was walking, she headed for her car.

"We're not done here," Juice hissed to Miles as he ran past him, following Grace to her car and grabbing her arm. "We just met for the first time, Grace! I-I didn't want to seem like... I don't know but I'm sorry!" His voice sounded desperate and he had no idea what he could say to make her feel better, to believe him. There was nothing he could do about it. "Shit Grace... you can't believe I really just wanted to get into your pants! I was about to meet your parents, would a guy really do that if he wasn't interested in a girl?" A big lump formed in his throat, he tried to swallow it but he couldn't. "You can hate me, I get it... but please let me take you home, you can't drive like this." He looked at her worried. 

"No, I never want to see you again, Juice. And stop acting like you care so much about me all of a sudden, 'cause you hurt me more than a car crash would do." She breathed in heavily. "But fine, I'll wait in the car until I've calmed down."

When she said the words 'car crash', it immediately reminded him of Faye and especially Zobelle and his guys. It hurt him, it really did, but maybe it was for the best if they wouldn't see each other right now. "Yeah, you're right... I shouldn't prentend like I care." He tried to control his voice, making it sound firm, but internally he wanted to beg her to forgive him. 

Grace stared at him in disbelief. Against her better judgement, she had hoped that he was really sorry. "I don't even know who you are," she whispered, tears stinging in her eyes. Sniffing, she opened her car, got into it and slammed the door shut. The moment she sat in the seat, she started crying. She had wanted to wait until he was gone, but she couldn't control herself any longer. Tears streamed down her face and she bowed over the steering wheel, clinging to it. She felt so stupid. She had really believed he wanted to be her boyfriend, that he had wanted to meet her parents, even though they barely knew each other. She should have known that could never be true, that he had only given her illusions so she wouldn't stop him undressing her, touching her... The thought that his fingers had been inside her, made her feel sick and her stomach cramped. He had been  _so_ close to taking her virginity, he had almost begged for it. How was it possible she had let it come that far? Why was her resistance crumbled down as if she had no dignity at all?

Her reaction hurt him. He might not know her for long, but he just didn't want to lose her ‒ which he currently had. "I'm sorry," he muttered, and he couldn't watch her being so hurt. Instead, he approached Miles, grabbed him by the collar and held him against a car standing next to him. "Do you realize how stupid this move was?" he growled dangerously, hitting him with his fist in the face. "You idiot mentioned Faye, she's going to hate you... and I don't think Clay likes this!" A second hit followed before Juice let go of the man whose nose was bleeding now. "You better stay out of my sight the next few days!"

Miles snorted, wiping his nose to his sleeve. His back hurt because that stupid bitch had pushed over his bike and there was even paint damage. He looked at Juice again. "As if Clay would care about that dumb church whore."

"No, he doesn't care about Grace, but he does care about his daughter. You really think Grace will hang out with her again?" he shook his head and put a cigarette between his lips, taking a few deep drags, but it didn't help to calm down. 

Miles shrugged his shoulders. "She's a church girl man. I bet Clay is happy she's gone. It's your head she's in man. You should be glad I saved you from her, before she drags you into a church and forces you to kneel down before a pile of wood."

"Shut the fuck up. She didn't force me to do anything. But now she thinks I forced her to something!" 

He chuckled at Juice's words. "Well, was she good? Was it worth the drama?"

Juice turned his head to look at him. "You really wanna do this, huh?" Juice put out the cigarette on the ground and stepped closer again.

Miles took a step back. His back hurt like hell, so he wouldn't win a fight. "Okay, I get it. She definitely wasn't."

Juice turned Miles around, grabbing him by the neck and slamming his head against the car. "Say it again..." he growled in the man's ear, slamming again. 

Miles screamed as his face hit the car. He heard his nose break and a flaming pain spread across his face. "The fuck man!" he yelled. "It's just a bitch man, calm down!"

Juice felt satisfied as he heard Miles' nose break. He deserved it. "She's not just a bitch, asshole," he replied coldly, slamming his head against the car one more time. "And now you leave, otherwise you won't be able to walk home again."

Miles spitted out a blob of blood at Juice's feet and gritted his teeth. He wanted to yell at him for doing this, but there was still a little bit of sense left convincing him he was still a prospect and that he would really fuck that up if he kept pushing this way. Without saying anything, he climbed on his bike and rode home.

"Wise decision," Juice muttered angrily and he went back to his apartment where he slammed the door behind him. His eyes fell on the sofa on which he had been lying moments ago with Grace. Anger, disappointment, all these feelings rose inside him. And he had been stupid enough to let Grace go. He got a beer from the fridge, opened it and took a long sip. He didn't know what to do next. He had lost her for the time being. Faye had lost her.

* * *

It took almost ten minutes before Grace was able to drive home. As soon as she'd entered the house, she went to her room. The moment her body hit the mattress, she started crying again. She had fallen so hard for him, he had completely blinded her.

"Grace?" A soft voice sounded after a while. Grace didn't answer, but her mother came inside anyway. "Sweetheart, what happened?" 

She could hear the shock in her mother's voice and felt how she sat down on the bed. Her fingers stroked her hair, but Grace slapped her hand away. She didn't want to be touched be anyone. 

"Did something happen with Adrian?" 

Grace took a deep breath, trying to man up. She didn't want to cry so much because of a man. "I wasn't with Adrian," she muttered, still lying with her back towards her mother, staring at the wall. "I had a date and it ended bad." 

"Oh baby..." Her mother sighed, stroking her shoulder. "Why didn't you tell us?" 

"Because he was a biker and I knew you wouldn't want me to go. But guess what? You were right. He was just an asshole who was trying to win a bet by... kissing me." Sniffing, she turned around. "I really liked him, mom. It really felt like... he was the one." 

"You thought a biker would be the one?" her mother asked disapproving. 

"He was sweet. I know it was stupid, okay? But I felt so happy around him and he just..." She shook her head. "It was all a stupid game for him." 

Sighing, her mother stroked her back. "You'll get over him. Be glad you saw through him so soon. You'll find a good man, Grace. One that respects you. Try to consider this as a lesson." 

Grace stayed silent. She knew her mother was right, but she had hoped to find more comfort in her presence. The hurt was much deeper than she had shown her mother: she had thought that they would start a relationship together and she had been willing to jeopardize the relationship with her parents just for him. She had been willing to give him so much, she had already given him so much, and the only thing he wanted the whole time, was having sex with her. "Can you... can you please leave me alone?" she whispered. 

Sighing, her mother stood up. "Okay. Just... don't worry too much about it, child. Feelings like these will pass, I bet you will feel already much better tomorrow." 

Another tear dripped down her cheek. She knew her mother was wrong.


	29. Chapter 29

Grace took a long, hot shower, scrubbing every part of her body where Juice had touched her. She felt used, violated, and it had all been her own fault. This was God's punishment for her lustful feelings. Her sins. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I should have known better. Please forgive me. Please make this pain go away, please wipe these memories." She couldn't even look at her own body without seeing his fingers gliding across her skin, without feeling his lips. Suddenly her whole body cramped and she threw up. Sniffing, she leaned against the shower cabin. She glided down until she was sitting, ignoring the puke floating around, wrapping her arms around her knees. His whispers went through her mind endlessly.  _'Don't you wanna know how it feels? Let me love you, Grace. Let me show you how good it feels when I'm inside you.'_  Crying, she covered her ears with her hands, but there was no way to escape his voice.  _'You're not curious how it feels when I'm fully inside you? Sucking your nipples while I thrust into you?'_  "How could I be so stupid?" she sniffed. "How could I not see it? He said disgusting things, why was I so deaf, so blind?" Hugging her knees even tighter, she leaned with her head against them, pulling on her wet hair until it hurt.

* * *

"How could he do that? I mean, I'm sorry, Juice," Faye muttered softly, looking apologetically at him. She was sitting in the kitchen of her best friend, smoking one cigarette after the other. "If I wouldn't have pissed him off he would never have thought of destroying that with you and Grace," she added softly, feeling incredibly guilty. 

"Stop it, it's not your fault, we just shouldn't have joined that stupid bet, that was our mistake, and I have no idea how to apologize for that," Juice said softly, refilling their glasses. The two of them had now emptied almost a whole bottle of whiskey. 

Faye had told him about the conversation with Happy and slowly she was becoming afraid to turn into an alcoholic. Happy wanted to distance himself from her and Grace would probably never talk to her again. Now she had only Juice, the only friend she had left. "Apparently, the universe doesn't want us to be happy," she whispered, standing stood up, wobbly. 

"Probably not," Juice nodded, getting up as well. Unlike her, he wasn't drunk yet. "Faye, go to sleep, I think that's for the best," he said worried and then he dragged her into his bedroom and gave her a slight push so she was lying on the bed. For safety, he got her a bucket from the bathroom in case she had to vomit, which would be no wonder with so much alcohol. 

"He hates me... and she hates you... and everyone hates everyone..." Faye mumbled, playing with a strand of hair as she pushed her head into the pillow. 

"I don't hate you," he replied. 

"Love you, Juicy", she said. 

"Love you too", he answered and he sat down next to her, his thoughts still with Grace.

* * *

"Do you think I can seduce him with this?" Faye asked Juice, turning around slowly. She was wearing lingerie fitting her body perfectly, the bra was of a black lace fabric and the panties were the perfect match. The two were recently at Faye's house. It didn't bother her that Juice saw her like this, the two had been best friends for years. 

"I don't know what Happy likes, but if you don't wrap him around your finger with this, I can't help anymore," Juice said with a grin. 

"It has to work, it's easy. And you, behave yourself with Grace's parents," she said, also grinning, but looking seriously at him. 

"I will, don't worry." By now he already had some alcohol in his blood, but he felt reasonably good and hopefully Grace would listen to him. For his sake, he didn't even put on his cut, just a black hoodie. "Can I leave you alone?" he asked Faye, who nodded. 

"Yes, I'm leaving soon too." 

He nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead, putting his pack of cigarettes in his pocket and rubbing his neck. "See you later, or tomorrow." 

It was just a very small distance with the bike from Faye's to Grace's house, so he took it despite his not so sober state. As he stood in front of her door, he knocked.  

* * *

Grace had spent most of the day in her room after she had called in sick at work. She really felt sick; her head pounded and there was a cramping feeling in her stomach. Her mother hadn't said much to her, but the way she looked at her gave her the feeling she found that Grace should just get over it. Around tea time she had gone downstairs to sit down at the couch with a cup of tea. Her father had been working at the table, her mother was reading a book and there was a heavy silence until it was disrupted by a few knocks on the door. 

"I'll go," she sighed, since she was the only one not being busy with something. Part of her hoped it would be Faye. She hadn't heard from her all day, which had clearly shown that their friendship hadn't meant anything to the girl. Barefooted she walked to the hallway, wearing just a simple sweatpants and a wide T-shirt. As she opened the door, her eyes grew wide. It was Juice. He wasn't wearing his cut and his eyes were glazing over. "What are you doing here?" she asked with crossed arms.

Juice looked at her, a smile forming on his lips. God, she was so beautiful, no matter how tired she looked. "I wanted to see you, and your parents. I want to show you that I care about you." He nodded eagerly, caressing her cheek.

"It's too late for that," she answered, bending back her head to get away from his touch. "Go away, I don't want to see you."

"No, please, give me a chance!" He was almost begging and stepped closer. "You'll see that I'm serious, I want you, Grace. I really do." 

"I don't want you anymore. You wanna know how I feel about all this? I feel used and violated and deeply, deeply hurt.. Just stop with this game, Juice. You won your money, you had your fun. Leave me alone now."

"And I'm really sorry about that. I can't take back the bet, but I never wanted to get into your pants," he said, shaking his head. "Well, I mean... I wouldn't have mind... but I really like you." He looked at her desperately. "Would I still try to get you back if it was only about the bet?" 

Grace stepped outside and closed the door so her parents wouldn't hear their conversation. "You never wanted to get into my pants?" she answered bitterly. "Stop lying, Juice. You couldn't wait to get into it, bet or no bet."

Juice searched for the right words, but it seemed like no matter what he'd say it would be wrong. "I know what you think of me and I can't change it, but I won't leave until you give me a second chance," he said firmly. 

"But why would I give you another chance, Juice?" she said, a bit annoyed now. "What makes you think you deserve one?"

"Because I know you like me, and I like you. I fucked it up... again," he sighed. "We ‒ we talked about a relationship, right ?" 

"I don't like you anymore. Why is that so hard to understand? You took a bet with your friends who would get in my pants, like, two weeks ago, and today, right after we made out for the first time, you tell that stupid Miles that you would take me to your apartment that night and have your way with me. How is that not being serious about that bet?" She shook her head, breathing in heavily. "And then we are making out and you kept pushing me to go for the real deal... How stupid do you think I will be if we just move on from here? You want to pretend this never happened? I rubbed my skin for hours last night because I felt so filthy, I have thrown up because I disgust you so much, so don't say I like you 'cause I don't!"

There was a heavy feeling in his chest as Grace started to say all these things to him. He had hurt her, in her eyes he had used her, though he had done none of these things. All he had wanted, was to protect her. "I don't want to just move on, I want to show you that I'm serious and that I'm sorry. Faye and I didn't want to get you in bed, believe it or not!" Desperately, he looked into her beautiful eyes, his mouth feeling so dry even though he had drunk so much. 

Tears slipped her eyes as she heard the despair in his voice, saw the defeated look in his eyes. It messed with her head, gave her the hope that he was truly sorry, that there really had been something between them and she didn't want to get hurt again. "Then why did you tell him you took me home, Juice? Why did you tell him you were going to..." She couldn't even finish her sentence because her lips started to tremble.

He wanted to wipe away her tears, but he didn't dare to touch her right now. Never had he thought that he could hate one of his brothers, but he really hated Miles for this. "Because I thought he'd give up then, the bet would've been over... and no one would've tried to get in your pants anymore," he mumbled, shrugging his shoulders and looking down as soon as her lips started to shake.

"So... so you knew he would be there and you still didn't inform me?" she asked quietly, still trying to understand it. But she didn't. She didn't understand why he had joined the bet in the first place. Her legs felt heavy and she dragged herself to the sidewalk and sat down on the curb, staring forward. "No one ever tried anything, Juice. No one but you." 

"No, I didn't thought he'd come over. What would you have done if I told you about the bet? I was afraid, okay? I didn't want to look like a pussy and joined the stupid bet." He looked at her again and leaned against the wall. He felt sick right now but he had no idea if it was because of the alcohol or because of the situation ‒ probably the situation. "I know that it was wrong."

Grace heaved a deep sigh, bending her head and raking her fingers through her long curls. She had seen how these men treated each other and she had known it had been a long time ago since Juice had been serious about a girl. But still... what guarantee did she have that he wasn't lying again? He had played her before. "What would you think I have done, Juice, if you had told me this morning that there was a bet? You think I would have freaked out? I'm not even surprised there was a bet, it's just shocking to find out there was one right  _after_  you won that bet. I trusted you. I gave you things..." She rubbed her eyes again. "I gave you things of myself that I never gave to someone before and you..." she shook her head. "I don't trust you anymore. How should I know you aren't lying again? You might as well be still fooling me. Even after I knew about the bet, you yelled that you didn't care about me. For all I know, you could still be seeking to take my virginity away and I'm not going to take that risk to get hurt again."

"Yeah, I thought you'd freak out. I mean, who wouldn't? It's humiliating. I know you gave me things and I enjoyed every minute of it. I don't care about the bet, about the money but I care about you," he said, eagerly looking around, thinking about what he could do. "You can't know if I'm lying but I can tell you that I don't, it's up to you if you believe me. But I can show you that I'm serious about this." Juice knocked on the door again, waiting excitedly for one of her parents to open the door, and that happened pretty quickly. A woman now stood in front of him, eyeing him skeptically. "Hey I'm Juice, Grace's boyfriend!" he said politely, holding out his hand. 

The woman's face turned a little paler. "Excuse me?" she asked shocked.

Grace's eyes grew wide. What was he doing?! She pushed against his shoulder and he had to lean against the wall to keep himself from falling. "You're not!" She aimed her eyes at her mother. Despite the fact dat Juice wasn't wearing his cut, his haircut and head tattoos gave away that he wasn't just a normal guy. "Please Juice, just go," she said, not knowing what to say to her mother. She knew about the bet, it probably wasn't that hard to realize who he was and what he had done.

Juice knew it was a bold and risky move, but it showed her how serious he was. "I am your boyfriend, we talked about it. You wanted something serious and... and I want that too," he nodded.

Grace's mom just stared at the man for a while, still not sure what to say. Now she wasn't sure anymore whether it had been the right choice to move here. "Grace, could you explain this, please?" she asked, looking at her daughter. "Is he the guy you talked about?"

Grace didn't even know why she was even still trying to talk to him; he was clearly drunk. Still the whole situation made her angry, especially now he was embarrassing her in front of her mother too. He wasn't only a biker, he was also a man showing up drunk in front of her door at 8 PM. "I thought that was over when you said you never cared about me. But fine: I'll be clear. We're done, we 'broke up', if you want to hear those words literally. Now go home and sleep off the booze. This was the last time we have seen each other." Grace quickly looked at her mother and nodded, not wanting to disrupt her conversation with Juice because she was afraid her words wouldn't get through to him otherwise.

"I had a reason for saying those words, Grace..." He swallowed, rubbing his neck. He however didn't want to mention Zobelle's name in front of her mother, even though he had already messed it up. "You can't do that... come on..." He almost begged her, but suddenly he realized that he wouldn't get another chance, not right now. Sighing, he ran a hand over his mohawk and nodded. "Fine, I'll go. Take care, okay?" he leaned over and kissed her cheek, waved at her mom and walked to his bike, repeatedly stumbling over his own feet.

Grace sighed as he tripped over his own feet more than once. She couldn't let him leave like this, he was too drunk to ride. It was a miracle he had made it to her house in one piece. "Juice, wait! You can't ride now, let me take you home." 

"Excuse me?" her mother said with wide eyes. "You are not going anywhere around that man." 

"He can't drive now, mam. I will never be able to forgive myself if I let him ride like this. If something happens to him..." 

Her mother grabbed her arm. "You won't be alone with that man, Grace. Let your father bring him home." The grasp on her arm was compelling. 

Grace sighed. Maybe she was right, maybe she shouldn't be alone with Juice know. She was way too emotional anyway. "Fine," she said. "I'll ask dad." She walked to the living room, where her father was still preparing his sermon for next Sunday. "Dad? There's a man at the door that I know and he's too drunk to ride. Can you give him a ride home? Please?" she begged him. "Mom doesn't want me to be alone with him, but I won't let him ride a bike now." 

Her father wrinkled his nose at the mentioning of a bike. Grace didn't know if her mother had told him anything about the bet, but he knew definitely about the Sons. 

"Can't Faye bring him? He's a friend of hers, right?" 

"We eh, we are in a fight. Sort of. I don't want to talk to her right now." 

Her father sighed, but as a man of God he couldn't abandon a drunken man. Straightening his shoulders, he stood up and walked to the door. "You're coming with me," he told the man who stood at the edge of his front yard.

Juice stood there like petrified. Right now he just wanted to leave, without her father. Not that he was afraid, but he was drunk and it was weird. But he didn't want to disappoint Grace even more. "Okay," he said quietly, nodding briefly. He didn't like the grip of her mother on Grace's arm , but if he would say something right now it would make everything worse. With a bent head he followed her dad to his car, feeling like a fifteen year old teenager at the moment.

Grace's father shook his head as the man bumped his head while getting into the car. The smell of alcohol surrounded him, making him clench his fingers around the steering wheel. How could his daughter end up with a man like this? He had taught her better! There was no doubt that he could blame their neighbors for this, that house turned out to be a meeting place for gang members. With a grim face, he looked at the man. "Tell me how to get at your house," he grunted. From the corner of his eyes he looked at the tattoos on the man's head and his strange haircut. He really, really didn't understand what his daughter had been thinking while talking to this man. She should stay away from punks like him. 

As soon as they sat in the car, Juice leaned his head against the cool glass and looked outside. He quickly told Grace's father where he lived. He wasn't stupid, he knew what the man was thinking. "I know you don't like me and think I'm a bad influence for Grace, and well, maybe I am, but I like your daughter, she's amazing and you can be proud of her." He paused for a moment, turning his head to the side. "She's so caring, so sweet, she has a big heart... and loves God a bit too much I think. She wanted something serious before she let me touch her because of the guy up there." He pointed upwards.

Grace's father was anything but proud at his daughter for letting herself in with a man like that. He however petrified as the biker mentioned that he had touched her. He pulled the car on the side of the road and stared at him with a heated glare. "You touched her? What do you mean?" he growled, hoping with all his heart he had just caressed her cheek, or held her hand ‒ or kissed her at most. It had to be, he couldn't imagine his little daughter would allow anything else.

A bit overwhelmed Juice looked at the man as he stopped the car. "Woah, no need to freak out. I didn't sleep with her, don't worry. I just... you know... uhm." He scratched the back of his neck. It started to feel a bit too hot inside this car right now. "I-I don't think we should talk about this." 

"I think we should," Grace's father said in a dark tone. "What did you to my daughter??"

Juice sank further into the seat and just wished he could sink into the ground. "We just kissed and stuff like that... you know... what people do before they sleep together. I didn't force her to do anything, I swear!" 

Grace's father clenched the steering wheel so tight his fingers turned white. He hated his vague answer, that he still had to guess. But Grace was his innocent sweet daughter, he couldn't imagine she would let this man touch her underneath her shirt ‒ or even worse. "You're lying, just to piss me off. My daughter would never let herself touch by a punk like you."

"Can you not call me a punk?!" Now he was the one who was pissed. "I'm not that bad, okay? And I'm not lying. I like your daughter, I really do, and for God's sake, I enjoyed every minute of touching her. She's twenty years old, not thirteen anymore," he growled, sitting up straight. "Just because I'm not one of you doesn't mean I can't treat her right."

"You think you treat her right?" the man asked, his voice full of anger now. "She came home crying last night and now you show up drunk at her door, how is that treating her right?! You're a drunk, an outlaw, you're a failure who has nothing to offer my daughter!" He breathed in sharply, trying to calm down because he knew there was no point in fighting with a drunk man.

Juice closed his eyes and leaned back. He tried to control his breathing, his anger. There was nothing he hated more right now than people who treated him like shit because he wasn't the perfect son in law. What made it even worse, was the fact that he started to think about the man's words. Was he a failure? Could he offer Grace the life she deserved? Probably not, but that didn't give her father the right to say those words to him! "Yeah, she did come home crying because some else fucked things up for us, but before that she laid beneath me, a smile on her face while I touched every single part of her body. Maybe my dick wasn't inside her, but some other things surely were!" He glared at the man, his cheeks red because of all the anger. "So yeah, I'm probably a bad influence, but she was the one moaning my name because she wanted it too!"

Something snapped inside the man's head. "You filthy beast!" he snarled, grabbing the man's collar and pushing him to the side. "Stop spreading those abhorrent lies about my daughter! You might have had those filthy fantasies with your drunken head, but my daughter would never do such a thing! Now get out my car! I never want to see you around my daughter ever again, you hear me?!"

"Keep telling yourself I'm lying, I don't give a fuck! But at some point I'll see Grace again!" He raised his voice, pushing the man away from him. "And don't touch me, asshole." Juice was so close to hit him, but he knew he would only hurt Grace with it, so he decided to get out of the car. Full of rage, he slammed the door and went back to get his bike.

It took a lot of effort for Grace's father not to go after him, to yell he would charge him for assaulting his daughter if he ever came near her again, but he pressed his lips together. Instead of going back home immediately, he drove on, afraid he would run over the drunk man if he saw him again now.


	30. Chapter 30

After Faye had put on her normal clothes, she had gone to a motel on the outskirts of Charming and had paid for a room. Now she was becoming increasingly nervous, despite the alcohol. Eventually Happy would no longer be able to resist her, right? She was at least as pretty as Rowena, and eventually Clay would accept them when he saw how happy his daughter was by his side. 

When she reached the room, she closed the door behind her and sat on the bed, dialing Happy's number and waiting for the voicemail. "C-Can you come to the motel on the outskirts? They won't let me go and I don't know who else to call. The room number is twelve," she tried to sound anxiously and hung up. Either he hated her for it, or he would realize how desperate she was. 

* * *

Happy grunted. What the hell was going on with that girl?? It was obvious that she was drunk and there was nobody around her; this was just a dumb move to get his attention and it really pissed him off. What was she? A desperate teenager? He had expected better from her. He considered to send someone else to get her away from that place, but that would call up too many questions. He would just pick her up and bring her back home. Sighing, he got into the car, not trusting her on his bike. Ten minutes later he stood before the right room and knocked. "Faye?"

Meanwhile Faye had taken off her clothes, except for her underwear. Hopefully he wouldn't bring someone else with him. When she heard a knock, she stood up and opened the door. "Hey..." she bit her lower lip, leaning against the door frame in a seductive way.

Happy breathed in sharply. Fuck, why was she so beautiful? He couldn't force his eyes to stay on her face, they had to take in every inch of that gorgeous body. "Come on, put on your clothes," he said nevertheless. "I'll bring you back."

Faye's index finger slid over his chest, down to his stomach and she bent over a little. "I don't want to go back," she whispered against his lips, grabbing his hand and putting it on her butt. "I'm sorry for being rude yesterday."

Happy's mouth felt dry as he felt the lacy fabric of her panties. Despite her drunken state he was getting hard while images of their last time in bed flashed before his eyes. Still he shook his head. "Come on, don't be so difficult. Get dressed."

Faye looked up at him and shook her head as well. "No I won't," she answered in a sweet tone, dragging him inside the room and closing the door. She laid down on the bed, resting her weight on her elbows while her fingertips wandered from her cleavage down to her pelvis.

Sulky, Happy stared at her, pretending her moves didn't do anything to him. "Get dressed," he repeated.

"No I won't," she also repeated, slowly sitting up at the edge of the bed where he was standing. Then she stood up, her body touching his and the cold leather of his cut giving her goosebumps. She kissed the corner of his mouth, then his lower lip.

Happy stood petrified. He didn't kiss her back, but he neither pushed her away. He just... did nothing.

"Don't you want this too?" she whispered seductively, pushing his cut off his shoulders.

"I don't," he said shortly, but with a little vibration in his tone. For it was a big, fat lie.

"Well, I don't believe you." She smiled at him, looking directly into his eyes while her fingers slid under his shirt. She breathed out shakily as she felt his skin and muscles underneath her fingers.

Happy laid his hands on her shoulders to push her away, but he just couldn't. He loved her touch, it did much more to him than a woman's touch had ever done. "Faye..." It was meant as a protest, but it sounded more like a begging grunt.

Faye knew this was the only way to get closer to him. As it seemed, there was no other way to get his full attention. The girl slipped onto her knees, loosened his belt and distributed kisses on his stomach and hip bone.

Fuck, her lips felt so good. He wanted to feel them around him, he wanted her to blow him. His fingers weaved through her red strands. He still tried to gather the courage to make her stop, but his head felt messy, as if the reason why he would do that was deeply hidden.

She didn't hesitate long and opened the zipper of his jeans too, brushing his pants off his legs, plus his boxers. "You wanna feel my lips, huh?" she asked as she looked up at him, her eyes full of lust.

Happy wanted to deny it, but his manhood already gave away how much he wanted that. Instead of answering, he twisted her hair tighter around his fingers.

He gave her no answer, so that was a good thing, right? She smiled at him briefly before his manhood got all her attention. Slowly, her lips snaked around his hard member and her tongue circled around his tip. She closed her eyes and enjoyed this moment more than she had expected.

Happy breathed in shakily when her wet warmth surrounded him. He brushed her hair away from her face so he could watch her. Her eyes were closed, her face slightly tensed but not in a uncomfortable way.

Faye tried her best to give him what he needed. She wanted him to feel good, satisfied. Her hands rested on his hips, her nails were softly buried in his skin while she moved her head back and forth in a slow rhythm. She opened her eyes again and looked up at him.

A loud moan escaped him as Faye looked up to him again, her eyes large and full of expectation. He didn't want to be done yet. "Get up," he grunted.

Once more she took him in completely, sucking the tip of his member before standing up, looking at him almost innocently. "Hm?" she smiled.

She was just the perfect mix between innocent and horny and it made him crazy. He wanted to tore her panties away and fuck her hard and ruthlessly, and on the other hand he wanted to be tender, wanted to push her over the edge really really slow. He swiped her hair off her shoulder en sucked the spot beneath her earlobe, smirking as she shivered. "Whatcha want tonight? Bein' the good or the bad girl?" he asked in a low voice.

A soft moan escaped her lips as he started to suck the spot beneath her earlobe. A tingling sensation spread through her body and his voice obscured her thoughts. "I'm always a good girl," she whispered in his ear, leaving some soft bite marks on his neck.

"Are you?" He placed his forefingers right beneath the clasp of her bra and traced a line until they met each other right beneath her cleavage. "And what does this good girl want now?"

"Most of the time." She smirked briefly, looking down at his fingers. He didn't even touch her breasts yet but her nipples already hardened under the black lace fabric. "She wants you to touch her, make her beg for you, make her moan your name..." she whispered, playing with the hem of his shirt.

Happy took one of his hands away to lift her chin. "I will make you moan, I will let you beg. Just tell me what you want me to do with you."

Faye bit her lower lip and looked into his eyes. "First I want your face between my legs, tease me until I beg for more." But first she wanted to feel his lips. Without waiting anymore she pressed her lips against his, her tongue slipped between them so she could explore his mouth.

His hands slipped underneath her panties as he hugged her ass and pulled her closer, answering her kiss until she was out of breath. Then he lifted her on the bed so that she was sitting on the edge, slowing peeling off her underwear. He hadn't gone down on girls often, he usually lacked the patience to do it and he didn't care that much if they were wet or not. Faye however was no whore and she had true feelings for him. That thought made him hesitate again, but it was too late to stop anyway now. "Been ages ago since I did this for a woman," he admitted, starting to kiss her knee and trailing more of them closer to her waist.

She shivered as his hands touched her ass and her cheeks turned slightly red. The butterflies in her stomach were back. She watched him while he took off her underwear, moisture spread in her lower area. She wanted to tell him that he didn't have to do it if he didn't want it, but she wanted it so bad that she kept her mouth shut. Instead, she panted as his lips touched her skin,close to her middle.

Happy lifted one of her legs over his shoulder, the other he pushed to the side. Even before his lips touched her labia he smelled how ready, how excited she was, which gave him a strange sense of satisfaction. His tongue slid through the notches on both sides before he sucked her clit. She tasted sweet, but nothing of the things he felt or tasted was as exciting as the way she moaned.

She sank into the mattress and rolled her head back as she felt his tongue at her private parts. Her clit swelled with excitement immediately as Happy began to suck on it. "Fuck," she said as her breath got faster. Gradually one finger after the other disappeared inside her until there was no place left for another one. Her walls literally sucked in his fingers. She clawed her nails into the sheet, the other hand she placed on the back of his head and she couldn't stop moaning. 

Happy felt that it wouldn't take long before she would come, so he pulled back his face, kissing the skin of her tights up to her groins again, waiting for her response.

As he stopped, she sat up a little und looked down at him, her green eyes were dark and full of lust. "What are you doin'? Let me feel you, Hap," she almost whined. 

Happy smirked. "You wanted to beg, right? Let me hear how much you want me to go on."

She pulled him up and put one leg around his waist, the other dropped aside. The tip of his manhood pressed against her entrance. "Please," she whispered against his lips. "Please fuck me, I need it, I need you. Fuck me until I scream your name so loud that everyone here knows your name," she begged, looking into his eyes. 

He laid her down on the bed and loosened her bra so he could kiss her breasts. Slowly, he started thrusting inside her. It cost him an effort to keep a slow pace, but he wanted to be gentle, he wanted this to be different than all the whores he fucked. "This good too?" he whispered, kneading her left breast.

Right now she didn't even care that she had had a surgery just a few days ago. It didn't hurt at all, maybe because he was so gentle, which surprised her, but it was such a great feeling. He filled her out completely, thrusting inside her slowly but still intense. "Yes..." she nodded, a smile forming on her lips. "So good," she added, not breaking eye contact. She didn't feel like a whore, no, it felt like he really cared about her. 

Something in the girl's attitude changed, making her face softer. He stroked her cheek as he kept looking in her eyes. They lit up every time he was buried deep inside her, giving him a strange feeling. He had never done it so slow, he had never looked the other in the eye and it did more to him than he ever could have imagined. He liked it ‒ but he wasn't going to admit it.

She took away his hands from his back. One hand now rested on the back of his neck, the other one on his cheek. With her thumb she caressed his cheek just as he did. Never had she thought Happy could be so sweet, so gentle. Slowly, she involved him in a loving and passionate kiss, moaning softly against his lips. 

As she started to kiss him, moaning against his lips, he sped up his pace. Not too rough, he still tried to be gentle, but more passionate, more intense. His hand disappeared in her hair and he really did his best not to pull it for a better grip.

The hand in his hair, his scent, his body... all this almost sent her over the edge already, but she wanted to give him more. She just wanted to try something, she wanted to give him something as well, so she shoved Happy gently away from her and sat down on him, his member immediately slid back inside her, making her groan. Her hands rested on his chest and her eyes met his again as she began to move her hips up and down in a pleasant rhythm. 

Happy watched her. First only her face, the lustful look in her eyes, her sweet smile. Then her breasts, wobbling as she moved on top of him. Then they wandered to her stomach, to the ink that he admired so much; the skull making her part of SAMCRO and the roses that now seemed to symbolize her, beautiful but dangerous. And he really was in dangerous waters now, being inside his President's daughter. His fingers stroked the ink, around the bandage covering her wound, her skin feeling soft and warm underneath his touch. He let out a deep grunt as she got tighter around him. His fingers touched for her breasts, squeezing them as she kept riding him until he couldn't bear it any longer. He moved his hips upwards, thrusting even deeper inside. He only needed to do that two times before his orgasm rolled over him, making him squeeze her tits so hard he heard her whimper.

His hands on her body gave her a safe feeling, she always felt safe with him, even when they had sex. She watched him stroke her ink and gave him a warm smile. The girl sped up the pace, her breasts jumping up and down and her nails were buried in his skin, leaving slightly red marks on his chest. Her moans became louder as he moved his hips upwards, getting even deeper inside her. "Happy..." she whimpered as he squeezed her tits hard, helping her to reach her orgasm pretty quickly. The redhead threw her head back, moaning in pleasure as he hit the right spot.

As he noticed she was almost coming, he sat up and pushed her down, so he was above again, so she would at least feel more of him before he would shrink after his release. Kissing her neck, he gave a few last thrusts until she calmed down again. Brushing her hair out of hair face, he looked at her. Her eyes were shining ‒ something that had felt impossible when he visited the hospital yesterday.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs around his waist again. She wanted to be close to him. The few last thrust sent her over the edge, again, and she let out another few moans and gasped at the last thrust. She tried to control her breathing as she looked him in the eye, her fingertips touching his jawline. Slowly, her body relaxed a little beneath him. ?Stay with me the night, here in the motel..." Faye whispered.

"You were in surgery two days ago," he answered. "Gem will be worried if you don't come home," he answered, leaning with one elbow on the mattress and with his other hand playing with her nipple..

"Yeah, she will, but I don't want to be home alone. I want to be herewith you, forgetting all the shit that had happened," she replied softly, closing her eyes as he played with her nipple.

"Well give her at least a call that you're with a guy," Happy suggested, not wanting the club to panic because they thought she was gone.

"Okay fine." She nodded briefly, pushing him aside softly and standing up to get her phone. She sent Gemma a short text message that she'd stay at a guy's house before she turned around to face Happy again. "I'm sorry for that stupid call before. But that was the only way to get you here."

Happy rubbed his neck, feeling awkward again. He still didn't know how to deal with this. He liked the sex, but the mentioning of the call reminded him of how immature she still was. Sure, that was also caused by the accident, by the fact she would never get children, but a part of her was still really young. "Yeah, was not the best thing you've ever done..."

Faye looked down, grabbing her bra and panties from the floor and putting the underwear on again so she wasn't fully naked. "I know. I don't want things to get awkward between us. Happend too often the last few days."

"How we gonna change that?" Happy asked, truly curious about it. He knew this wasn't going to be a recurring thing; as long as she was trying to get into bed with him, that would be awkward.

Faye walked over to the bed, pecked his lips and snuggled up to him. His skin felt so warm and immediately she felt comfortable again. "I don't know, I really have no idea. I should've never been so stupid and tell you my feelings about you. It destroyed everything," she sighed softly and buried her face against his shoulder.

"Why?" he asked.

"You know why. I love you but you don't love me, at least not the way I love you," she murmured.

"I know." He hesitated. "But if you can do this without having further expectations, I'm fine with it." He twisted a strand of her hair around his finger. "But I don't wanna disrespect you. You're not a whore like the others. So yeah, that gives mixed feelings sometimes."

"No, it's okay. I can accept it," she whispered. If this would mean he would stay with her, she would accept that they will never be a couple. "But I always act like one when I want you to be with me and this has to stop..."

Happy looked her shortly in the eye. "Yeah, it does."

"Then don't try to push me away anymore, please," she said, looking him in the eye briefly. Her fingertips wandered over his tattoos. A little curious she looked at him. "Who was the first smiley for?"

Happy tensed. Mentioning his first smiley was devastating his mood immediately. He however tried to play it cool, even though it was his only kill that kept haunting him. "Just a man," he said. "I just followed orders. Can't remember much of it."

Faye raised an eyebrow, shrugging. „Okay... thought it was someone special." She noticed that he tensed, maybe he felt a little uncomfortable.

Happy shoved a hand underneath his head and stared at the ceiling as Faye snuggled into him, resting her head on his shoulder. There was a weird feeling in his stomach that he hated and he tried to ignore it. He closed his eyes, stroking her side, realizing it had been ages ago since he had fallen asleep with a girl this way.

She put one of her legs around his legs and one arm around his waist, just like in the hospital a few days ago. I felt like he could take away all her pain, all her sadness. Slowly, she closed her eyes and inhaled his scent before she drifted off.


	31. Chapter 31

Ever since her father and Juice were gone, her mother was harassing her with questions. Grace kept giving her vague answers and in the end she backed off, hissing that this talk wasn’t over. In silence Grace stood for the window now, waiting until her father returned. What would that drive look like? Would they sit in silence, ignoring each other? Would Juice say more stupid things? After a while she saw a movement around Juice’s bike. Her eyes widened as she realized it was him, still stumbling over his own feet. Immediately she went outside, taking her keys with her. “What are you doing?” she yelled at him, running to him barefoot because he was already starting the engine. “Where is my dad? What happened?”

Juice clenched his hands around the handlebars and took a deep breath, trying to get a clear mind. Just when he was about to leave, he heard Grace calling, who had already come to him. “Ask your father what happened. But maybe he should learn how to talk to people,” he hissed, rubbing a hand across his face. Seeing her again didn't make things easier. “Why are you even wasting your time on me, hm? You wanna tell me again that you don't like me anymore?”

There was a pang in her chest as she heard his angry voice. Whatever had happened between him and her father; he was really pissed. She stood in front of his bike so he wouldn't leave. "Please Juice. Let me take you home. Please, I don't want something to happen to you..."

Juice shook his head as he looked away from her. “Go back inside, Grace. I'm sorry if I caused trouble, I really am,” he murmured, but there was a warm feeling in his body when she told him that she didn't want anything to happen to him.

She laid her hand on his, hoping that would convince him. "Please," she said once again, a worried look in her eyes. "Before my mom knows what I'm doing and tries to stop me."

Juice looked at her again, studying her face. “You don't even wear shoes, that's not really safe, Grace,” he said softly, taking her hand in his, stroking the back of it with his fingers. “I'm so sorry...”

"It's safer than riding back home drunk," she reminded him. Tears jumped in her eyes as he apologized, stroking the back of her hand. It made her shiver. Despite everything that had happened, she still had feelings for him. It was too soon to forgive him, but part of her wanted to give him another chance, one day. "Come." She gently pulled his hand until he got off his bike.

“Yeah, maybe,” he admitted. The tears in Grace's eyes hurt him more than he thought. As soon as he stood next to his bike, he laid a hand in her neck and pressed a kiss on her forehead. “You think I'm a failure? Please be honest...” His voice was only a whisper.

Grace pulled him to the side so they were out of sight of the window and let go of his hand. His words had just been a whisper and he sounded hurt. "A failure?" she said, confused. "I don't ‒ or didn't ‒ know if I can trust you again and I have a feeling you've done some really stupid things that destroyed something that could have been beautiful, but a failure... Why do you say something like that?" She looked at him, trying to understand the hurt look on his face. Being a failure went much further than just making stupid mistakes that were partly caused by the pressure of his friends. That went much deeper than just messing up a relationship that had only existed a few hours.

Juice laughed bitterly. “Well, I did some stupid things.” At the moment he couldn't stand still so he started to pace around. “Your dad said it after I told him some... things.” He cleared his throat, not looking her in the eye. “I'm sorry, but he pissed me off and the words just blurted out. Just tell him that I lied.” He raised his head a little to look at her again.

His words gave her a gnawing feeling, just as the skittish way he looked at her. Instead of answering, she walked to the car and sat down into it, before her father would return. As Juice had taken a seat at the passenger seat, she started the car. "What did you tell him? About what should I lie?" she asked, her eyes focused on the road as she took off.

Juice wasn't so sure getting into the car had been a good idea; it would cause even more trouble with her parents, but he had done it nevertheless. Sighing deeply, he said: “I told him what we did yesterday... Well, what I did with you...” he admitted, his voice becoming quiet at the end of the sentence.

"You ‒ what?" she stammered, moving her head to the side, but quickly returning her glance to the road. "Why would you tell him that, Juice? And ‒ and with what words?" She raked a hand through her curls, she couldn't believe he had really done that. Why on earth would he do that?! No wonder her father pushed him out of the car! Her stomach cramped at the thought of going home after this. Her father would be mad, he would be so incredibly disappointed! There was no chance he would leave her out of the house the next months, apart from going to work or church.

“I know, that was... the most stupid thing I could've done and I can't take it back,” he said. His head hurt, he felt even more sick now. How could he have been so stupid? “Well, I told him you laid beneath me, a smile on your face while I touched every single part of your body and that my dick wasn't inside you but some other things were,” he whispered. Now his whole face turned red as he repeated his own words. Of course her father had kicked him out of the car; he should be glad nothing else happened.

Grace was so shocked by his rude answer that she almost hit a parked car. She let the car roll out at the side of the road, her fingers trembling and she did no longer trust herself behind the steering while. With wide eyes she stared at him. He didn't look at her, he looked down awkwardly and his face was flaming red. "Why ‒ why would you say that to him, Juice?" she wiped her eyes when tears were filling them again. How could she ever explain this to her father? How shocked must he feel if a man he didn't know told him that? How could she ever convince her parents of Juice's sweet side if he told them things like that?!

Juice rubbed his face, it annoyed him ‒ everything annoyed him. “Because I'm not perfect, Grace! I'm not one of those Christian guys. I'm a biker, I do stupid things, I'm a criminal and I can't be the guy you want me to be!” He raised his voice word by word, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him. “Your dad is right, I can't give you the life you deserve, but I can give you so many other things.” He looked at her desperately, loosening his grip. 

Grace sighed deeply. How was that an answer to her question? She just wanted to know what had gone through his head, what had made him say those things. All he was telling her now, were excuses. "I never said that you have to be perfect, Juice. I'm just trying to understand you, the whole situation with my father. I'm trying to wrap my head around that conversation, it's hard to imagine what would make you say to my father that your dick wasn't inside me, but other things were. That isn't exactly a great opening sentence, is it?"

"Well, it feels like I need to be perfect. Maybe not for you, but for them. First I told him that I really like you, that you're amazing and that he can be proud to have a daughter like you.” He shrugged briefly. "That's how it started. Can we... can we just drive? Or let me go home, I can't do this right now...” 

Grace sighed, rubbing her face. "Okay," she said softly. She couldn't help she sounded bitter; he would really get her into trouble and he just said he couldn't talk about this right now. He had said a dozen dumb things tonight, but now they were finally having a honest conversation he just wanted to get away from her. In silence she drove to his house. Luckily it was just a few minutes of awkwardness, but she was glad when she was there. "Here you are," she muttered.

Juice could feel her disappointment, but it was for the best right now if they would go different ways. First, because he was drunk and said one stupid thing after the other, and second, because he didn't want to hurt her more than he had already done. "I know you're pissed, but you can call me anytime if you need anything,” he offered, looking at her. 

"I know," she sighed, staring forward. She leaned back into the seat, trying hard not to cry again. She just didn't know what to do with this anymore, how to handle all this. Yesterday she had been so in love, happy about the fact that they were going to start a future together and within a few hours that had turned out to be nothing but a joke, and now she had seen how much Juice regretted what he had done and she really believed he was sorry, but he had messed up more things now than he had done yesterday.

Juice leaned over a little, lying a hand on her neck and pressing a kiss at her forehead. "Take care, Grace," he said quietly before he left the car. 

As soon as he was outside, he took a deep breath and sniffed. Shit, he had messed up so many things and he had no idea what to do now. There was nothing he could do. He searched for his pack of cigarettes and put one of them between his lips. After he lit it, he took a deep drag, slowly letting out the smoke that filled the hallway of his apartment as soon as he got inside. He had just ruined her life; the relationship between her and her parents and the relationship between her an him ‒ only because of a stupid bet. How could he ever join? He had just wanted to protect her but the opposite had happened. 

His lips burned on her forehead. The moment he was gone, she felt cold. Wrapping her arms around herself, she started to cry, her head on the steering wheel. She didn't want to keep standing here in front of his house, but she neither wanted to go home. She couldn't face her parents. They would be so disappointed, so angry, she would never dare to look them in the eye again. She considered to go to Adrian's place, but she felt too ashamed of the things Juice had done to tell him. She had no choice, she had to go home. As soon as the tears would stop.

Grace kept in the car for at least five more minutes before she had regained control over her emotions. After glancing one more time at his house, wondering if she would ever get into that building again, she took off and drove home. Her father’s car was already in front of the house. On her bare feet she walked to her house, where she was greeted by silence. She tempted to go upstairs immediately, but she knew there was no way to escape this confrontation. With a heart that was pounding in her chest, she opened the door. Her mother sat on the couch with a pale face, her father paced in front of the farthest wall, although he froze the moment she walked in. 

For a moment nobody said a single word, then her father grunted: “Sit down.” 

She obeyed, staring at her feet. 

“Aren’t you going to tell us who that man was?” her mother asked, her voice fragile.

Grace cringed. Her tone gave away that she knew what Juice had told her father in the car. “His name is Juice,” she spoke softly. “I met him at the party, the first day we arrived here. We talked the whole night and played pool.” She sighed. “I fell for him almost immediately, but I knew we were too different. But he just didn’t leave my mind. After Faye’s accident I ran into him in the hospital and we talked again – and we kissed.” She couldn’t help it – she blushed. “We decided to have a coffee yesterday, but I needed help with some movies for Faye. We spent some time until there was no time for coffee left and he asked me to come to his house that night.” She swallowed, she could feel how her parents were tensing without having to look at them. “I told you I went to Adrian because I knew you wouldn’t want me to hang out with a biker.” Every other day they would have been angry because she had been lying to them, but that seemed to pale by everything else that had happened. ‘S-so I stopped by, and we talked and kissed and… danced. I really liked him, I told him I wanted something serious and he wanted that too, so we decided to tell you tonight. But when I left his house, I found out that there was a bet about… getting into my pants, and I was hurt and angry and I walked away.” Sighing, she raked a hand through her hair. “He knew it was over between us and he regretted the bet – he had only joined it to keep his friends away from me – and he got drunk because he felt like shit. And with his drunken head he thought he could just come over, prove that he really liked me and that we could be a normal couple.” 

The silence was very short. Apparently there was only one thing they wanted to know. “You two only kissed?” Her mother’s voice sounded so hopeful that she felt a pang in her chest. 

It was so easy to lie, to explain everything by Juice’s drunken talk, but it didn’t feel right. “No,” she said quietly, rubbing her thumb across her knuckles. 

“Do you have any idea what horrible, disrespectful things he said about you?” her father asked in a low voice. 

“He told me about it,” she said softly. “He was drunk, dad. He already regretted how he talked to you and tomorrow that will be even worse.” 

His father snorted. There was a nervous silence. 

“Was it true what he said, Grace?” her mother asked. “Has he… touched your private parts?” 

Ashamed, Grace stared at the floor. 

“Has he forced you? If –”

“No,” she said quickly. “He was really sweet.” She sighed. “I know it was too soon, okay? But it felt good and we didn’t have real sex. I just thought… that we would become a couple.” She wiped her eyes, it felt like a broken dream. Her lips started to quiver, but her father nor her mother was taking any efforts to comfort her. On the contrary. 

“It isn’t just the deed itself that is sinful, Grace. All sexual actions belong within a marriage,” her mother said on a harsh tone. 

“That’s not specifically written in the Scripture. I didn’t want to do those things outside a relationship so we… decided to get into a relationship.” 

“You started a relationship only so he could touch you?!” her mother yelled. 

“No! I really liked him.” She rubbed her eyes. “But it doesn’t matter anyway, it’s over. I just brought him home because I still care about him and I don’t want him to end up in a hospital or worse. I’m sorry about him showing up at the door, okay?” She wiped her eyes. 

“No, it’s not okay,” her mother said firmly. “I don’t want you to see him again, you hear me? You get house arrest for a month, you break up with him, with your friend Faye and with everyone else attached to that satanic biker club. They are evil, they pull you away from God.” 

Grace bowed her head, knowing raising protests was useless. As long as she lived under their roof, she was bound to their rules.


	32. Chapter 32

He saw her eyes, full of tears. Desperately her fingers clung around the collar of his cut. "Please," she whispered. "Please, don't kill me. I won't say anything. I will leave, no one will ever see me again." 

Happy breathed in sharply. The temptation to give in to her pleas was hard to resist. But he couldn't disobey the order of his President. He had chosen this path a while ago, there was no way back. 

 _You have killed before_ , he said to himself. But never a woman. Never someone he knew. Never without knowing the victim deserved it. Never for the club. He tensed his grip around the gun, looking once more in her green grayish eyes. Then he pulled the trigger. 

Breathing heavily, Happy sat up straight. His body felt clammy, he was soaked in sweat. It took a few moments before he realized where he was – and with who. It explained the memory immediately. Carefully, he freed himself from Faye's embrace and walked to the bathroom. It was still early, but the small window showed him it wouldn't take long before the sun came up. He bent over the wash basin, splashing water in his face. Unrest had settled down in his stomach and he had no idea how to remove it. With a sigh he stepped into the shower cabin and turned on the cold water, hoping it would freeze every memory, every sensation of guilt.

* * *

Faye had slept well, but she hadn't expected anything else. Happy's presence just gave her security, especially when he was holding her in his arms. No nightmares, no fear, there was nothing. When she felt that it was getting colder next to her, she startled and looked around. She let out a relieved breath when she saw his clothes and shoes. So he was still here. Her heartbeat slowly returned to normal and she stood up and went to the bathroom, where she heard the shower. She watched Happy for a while before she joined him. She didn't care if her underwear would get wet. The cold water made her freeze, but she ignored that. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, taking his face in her hands.

Happy felt anything but okay, especially when her hands cupped his face. The look in her eyes was worried and it made him angry. He looked vulnerable – and he hated it. He was the Tacoma Killer, no one should ever ask if he was okay. Instead of giving her an honest answer, he pushed her against the side of the shower cabin.

"Happy, what –" She couldn't finish her sentence since his lips crashed down on hers. A soft gasp left her lips before she kissed him back passionately. 

Happy lifted her, backing her up against the cold tiles, allowing his passion until she had forgotten about her questions. He enjoyed the wet strands of her hair sticking against his skin, and the passionate way in which her lips met his. Slowly it dawned on him that he always grew tired of Croweaters; he didn't even want to see them in the morning. But not Faye, he just couldn't get enough of her touch, her body, her kisses.

Faye pressed her body even closer against his and took advantage of the fact that he apparently wanted her closeness – at least now. She put all her feelings into the kiss; also her lust. Again the girl forgot everything around her, that her life was currently in shards. She didn't care about that as long as she was healthy and with Happy. "Seems like you can't resist me anymore either," she whispered, almost a happy smile forming on her lips.

Her smile did something to him, causing a strange feeling in his stomach. Was he falling for her? No – he wasn't. He never had. He never would. He doubted that he was even capable of having feelings like that. He loved his unbound life, he always had. But he couldn't deny that this was different than the other sexual contacts he had. Was it just his guilt? No, it felt too good for that alone. "You're just the hottest thing around," he said with a smirk, pushing his thoughts away.

"Show me how hot you think I am." She looked at him with a playful grin and snaked her legs tighter around his hips. With her fingertips she traced the tattoos on his chest and let her tongue slide over his lips. She wasn't shy at all at the moment, all she wanted was him in any way she could have him. Maybe one day he'd fall for her.

Happy grabbed a bottle of soap, put it on his hand and started to spread it across her body, slowly massaging her skin, making sure he didn't skip a single inch of it. Deep inside he felt a little insecure since this was different than just banging a girl, but he didn't show it, creating the impression he did this every day.

Faye leaned her head against the tiles and closed her eyes. She enjoyed every second of him massaging her skin. Her whole body reacted to it and her heartbeat got faster. The smile on her face grew even bigger as she looked at him again. "Feels good..." she whispered, also taking the bottle so she could give him the same feeling. 

"Thought so." Her soft hands gliding across his body turned him on, but he resisted the urge to let it all end in a fuck again. He was still a bit worried about her injury, he had a feeling she had had enough physical exercise for today.

Her hands slid across his body and she made sure that she also stroked every inch of it that she could reach. Her lips trailed soft kisses from his neck up to his jawline. "Can you bring me to Grace's house later? She should be working now so we still have time. But I need to talk to her," she asked quietly, looking him in the eye. She hadn't told him yet about what had happend, but he would find out soon anyway. 

"Sure..." he said. "Although I didn't plan on staying here much longer, they expect me at the clubhouse. Don't think she'll be back from work." He stepped back so the water flushed away the soap. "You two got problems?"

"Oh okay, if you have to go it's okay! I don't want to be the reason why you aren't there," she replied quickly. Club business was something she'd never stand in the way of. She rubbed the last shower gel from her body and got out of the shower. "Yeah, don't think she'll talk to me again."

"Why?" He asked. "Isn't she supposed to be the forgiving one?"

"Yeah but... she found out about the bet, and that's my fault," she sighed. "I was the reason why Miles was so pissed that night and I just hate myself for it. If I would've let him in or whatever, then Juice wouldn't have had a problem with her now. And now I gonna lose the only female friend I have."

 "What does Miles being pissed has to do with Juice and Grace?" he asked confused. "And I don't know that girl that well, but I can't imagine she would blame you for Miles' dumb behavior."

"I told you on the phone what he said to me last night, right? He brought me home and offered me to do the same for me as you did... but I said no and that's why he probably needed something to ruin." She shrugged, trying to stay cool, but the fact that she could lose Grace, hurt her. "We joined the bet, Happy, she thought Juice was different and I... I should never have done that either."

"Oh come on, it was just a joke. I get that she's pissed at Juice, but why would she by pissed at you?"

"Not for her, she's a church girl! Because I joined too. Maybe she's pissed that I even brought her to the club that first night."

"Nah, you shouldn't worry too much about her. That girl has no one else, I'm sure she'll get over it." He took a towel and started to dry himself.

"I hope so..." she nodded, taking off her wet underwear and starting to dry herself too. She pecked his lips before she went back to where her clothes were and checked her phone. "Ah shit..." she murmured as she saw Juice's messages.

Happy raised an eyebrow. "What is it?" There was a weird feeling in his stomach; somehow he was afraid Gemma or Clay knew he had spent the night with her.

Faye gave him the phone so he could read the messages and got dressed. "I think we can say goodbye to Grace. Don't think she'll forgive him. I'm sure her father is pissed as hell."

Happy read the texts quickly, feeling not very comfortable about it because he didn't give a fuck about Juice and Grace; the only reason he wanted to know more about it, was because Faye was stressing because of it. "This has nothing to do with you," he shrugged.

Faye frowned. "Maybe not exactly this, but I'm his best friend. It will be hard for her. This friendship shit is harder than I expected," she sighed, drying her hair with the towel.

Happy put on his boxers and his pants. "You knew from the beginning there was a good chance she would never understand our life, right?"

"Yeah, I did. But I just had the wish to have a female friend, I never really had one in my life. And you know I can't stand our Croweaters much," she mumbled, hoping he wouldn't get pissed at her for that sentence, especially because of Rowena.

"Well, that saint is certainly the opposite," he smirked. "Although... According to Juice's texts she sin't exactly a saint."

She slapped his arm with her hand. "She's twenty, of course she wants to experience something," she grinned, taking her phone back.

"Maybe she'll become a Croweater one day," he joked. "Wonder if that would make you change your mind about them."

"Sure, and I'll become a church girl." She rolled her eyes with a grin on her face. "No, she would be the only one I like!"

"Well, that's a start." Happy looked around the room to see if there was still something belonging to him around, but there wasn't. 

Slowly, she walked over to him, standing on her toes and kissing him. Again it was a soft, gentle kiss. "You have to go?" she asked.

Happy had no specific reason to return to the clubhouse, but he had a feeling it would be better to leave now. "Yea, got to," he answered.

She nodded briefly. Part of her wished that he'd stay or take her with him. "Yeah okay. See you around, I guess?"

"You stay here?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "How did you even get here? You didn't drive drunk, right?"

"Uh... no... I didn't drive." She cleared her throat and looked at the man. "No, I'll go back to the club, don't want to be alone." And maybe she would visit Grace later.

Happy nodded. 'I'll drop you at your house so you can take your car." They couldn't get there together, that would raise questions, and he didn't want her to go out alone, not after what Zobelle had done.

"That would be great, yeah," she nodded quickly, playing with a strand of her hair. "I really don't know what to say... but I hope we see each other later?"

"Well, we'll be both in the clubhouse so that wouldn't be that hard," he answered, even though he knew damn well that wasn't what she meant. He however didn't know what else to say. Did she expect him to keep her company every night from now on? They were no couple, there was no point in pretending they were or could ever be. Even if he'd wanted to.

"Yeah uhm...  right," she answered. What did she have to do to make him fall for her? Damn it, it couldn't be that hard to make him fell for her, right? She wasn't ugly, she was no bitch, she had a good heart – what was so bad about her? Was she boring? Faye took her bag and hung it over her shoulder. "Okay, you ready?" 

Happy nodded and led her to his car. He didn't drove the vehicle often, but he had thought he had to pick up her yesterday night and she had sounded too drunk to sit on his bike.

Faye followed him outside and raised an eyebrow when she saw his car. "Wow, that's something new. You and and a car," she grinned briefly before she got in and closed the door.

"Didn't want you to fall off my bike with your drunken head," he answered with a smirk.

"Shut up, I wasn't  _that_ drunk," she answered with a smirk, letting him drive her home. "See you later," she mumbled, leaning over and pecking his lips. Quickly, she got out of the car. Maybe it was better if she wouldn't annoy him 24/7. She slammed the door behind her, a smile on her face, but before she could get to her room Gemma was already waiting for her. 

"Where the hell were you, Faye? I was worried," the woman said firmly, looking fiercely at her daughter. "I texted you, mom. I needed another place to go, sorry. We'll take later!" Before Gemma could say something again she ran upstairs and threw her bag in a corner.


	33. Chapter 33

Grace couldn't sleep. Shreds of conversations floated through her head, now and then alternated by images. Of Juice's smile. Of his lustful eyes. Of the expression on his face as he caressed her breast, her nipple in his mouth. She could still feel his hands all over her body, and contrary to the night before, it didn't disgust her. Not really. And that was what was calling up the guilt again. Was her mother right? Had those things been sinful? Had she only wanted to be with him so that she had an excuse to be touched by him? To feed her curiosity? Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew her mother was right. She had given Juice too much. She had tried to be persistent, had tried to keep his hands away from her pants. But she hadn't tried very hard; a single touch, a single kiss or maybe even a single look had crumbled her defense, her being lost in her feelings for him. He had been her temptation, her forbidden fruit from Eden and she had eaten from it before she knew it. Not the whole fruit, but a large part of it. She was no different from Adam and Eve, who had betrayed God's trust. And God had been angry, had banished his creatures from Paradise. What did that mean for her? Would he deny her path to heaven? Forgiveness was her only redemption – but what if she didn't really regret it? She had loved the things Juice had done with her, she couldn't deny that, he had made her feel things she had never felt before. She hated herself for it; but she couldn't change how she felt about it. No matter how often she told herself it had been wrong.

* * *

After a few hours he had calmed down a bit and the effect of the alcohol subsided. Nevertheless, he still felt sick. The words he had said to Grace and her father were buzzing in his mind. Fuck, how could he do that? He just wanted to prove to Grace that he was serious, that he wanted to be there for her, that he really wanted her ‒ but it all turned into a disaster. What should he do now? Maybe her father was right, maybe he was a failure, a loser who couldn't give Grace the life she deserved. The words hurt him more than he wanted to admit. He thought too much about it and sank into a small, black hole full of bad thoughts. With a shaky breath he got up and went to the kitchen, where he poured himself a glass of water and emptied it with one sip and a few pills to calm down. For a moment he thought about calling Grace, but he was sure she would hate him. Why couldn't he just forget about her and look for another girl? Why was it so damn hard? Sighing, he leaned against the kitchen counter, picking up his phone and telling Faye in a message what had happened. He didn't want to call her, who knows what she was doing right now. His thumb slid to Grace's contact. Should he do it? Give her a call? Ask her if she was okay? Her parents were Christians, but that didn't mean that they were saints. What if her father had freaked out? Juice remembered the way he had grabbed him by the collar, the almost bestial look in his eyes as he yelled at him ‒ what if he would do something to his own daughter?  _Are you okay?_  he texted her. It was a simple question and he needed an answer, otherwise he'd go crazy.

No answer came, not even after an hour. Okay, maybe she was asleep but the nagging feeling that something was wrong bothered him.  _Grace, I'm sorry, you know that ‒ but please answer me_ , he texted. 

 _Just one word and I won't text you again,_ he sent ten minutes later, getting even more nervous. 

A few texts followed where he told her that he was sorry, how scared he was that something had happened to her. But still no reply. 

* * *

Grace woke up early. Even though she still felt tired because of all the thoughts that had kept her awake for the largest part of the night, she left the bed. Staring at the ceiling would probably cause that she would start overthinking everything again. In an attempt to find some peace, she opened the Bible on her nightstand and started to read a random chapter, hoping to find an answer, a way to make peace with the new restrictions of her parents. It wasn't just Juice she could see no more; she would also lose the few friends she had made – except for Adrian. The words however couldn't keep her attention and with a sigh she closed the voluminous book. 

She reached out for her phone, and her eyes widened as she saw at least ten messages from Juice. She opened the conversation and scrolled upward to find the first one. He had been texting her for hours, clearly worried. It brought a sad smile on her face, for it showed her that he really cared about her. His behavior was however totally exaggerated; he sounded as if he thought she could be murdered, but she blamed his drunken state for it.  _Hey_ , she texted back.  _Sorry I had silenced my phone when I went to bed._

* * *

Grace had eaten breakfast in silence. Around 10 her father left the house to lead a bible study and Grace retreated into her room, trying to read a book. After half an hour, her mother knocked on the door and went inside. Smoothing her long skirt, she sat down on the bed. "Please, sit down," she said with a compelling voice. 

Grace swallowed. Nervously she sat down next to her mother, folding her hands in her lap. 

"How do you feel?" 

Staring at her knees, she shrugged. "Locked up." 

Her mother sighed. "That's not what I mean, Grace. I know your sins or weighing on your mind." 

Grace said nothing and fidgeted with the crucifix around her neck. 

"Have you confessed your sins and asked for forgiveness?" 

"I did," she muttered. 

"Did you mean it?" 

Grace bit her lip. It felt like her mother could see right through her. 

"Grace..." Her mother took her hand. "Don't feel ashamed of it. Sexual sins are very common and a lot of people don't even consider them as sins. Sometimes it is hard to focus on what God wants from us, instead of focusing on what we want." There was a silence, then her mother squeezed her hand. "I have been young too, Grace. Before I met your father, there was a boy who was sweet and gentle, but who was also pushing my boundaries. I know how curious you are, how nice it felt... but you can't rely on your feelings, those are treacherous. Our acts have to be based on what God wants from us – and that is difficult. It calls for commitment, willpower. There is a darkness inside you – in all of us – that gives you these lustful feelings, that wants to tempt you to give in to your desires. You have to tame it, expel it." Her mother took a deep breath, and a moment later she handed her a belt. "Self-flagellation is a means to purify our mind and body. It will help you to control your thoughts, to keep them pure." 

Grace stared at her mother with wide eyes. "You want... you want me to hit myself?" 

"I don't, dear." Her mother squeezed her hand. "God knows how much I hope you won't need it. But I have a feeling you do – just like I needed it, in the past. I'm sorry, my child, I'm afraid this sin passed on from me to you. But it has made me a better person. Pain purified my soul, brought me closer to God. And that is where we all should long for." 

Grace stared at the belt. The thought that she should hit herself, every time she had an inappropriate thought, made her shiver. But wasn't that the whole point? Pain was awful, it would help her break this new, wicked habit. 

"If you punish yourself for a sin, you will know that you are truly sorry," her mother explained. "It will bring peace to your mind." She laid a hand against Grace's cheek and stroked it, sighing. "You were such a good girl, Grace. I never thought you would need this. The influence of those bikers reached further than I ever imagined and I am sorry I didn't step in earlier. But it isn't too late. You can still learn how to purify yourself, how to control your thoughts." 

Grace picked up the belt. Her thumb stroked the leather. "Does dad know? That you suggested this?" 

She shook her head. "He wouldn't be able to live with the thought that you would hurt yourself. I find it hard too Grace, believe me, but I know where this path leads to. To salvation, to happiness. I went down this road too. This is something between you and God, you shouldn't bother others with it. They won't understand. It's an old tradition, rejected by many, but harsh methods aren't always bad. Jesus learns us how to deal with suffering. He will give you strength and wisdom." 

Her mother bowed toward her, kissed her cheek and left the room, leaving Grace alone with her confused thoughts.

* * *

His phone was lying on the kitchen counter as he paced up and down. When he heard it buzz after such a long time he quickly checked the message. He felt relieved as he saw Grace's name on his display. She was okay, she texted back, maybe she didn't hate him that much.  _No, it's okay_ , he texted back, chewing on the inside of his cheek.  _Do you ever want to see me again? Please be honest._ He had to ask it, he needed to know it.

* * *

"Oh Juice..." Grace sighed. She could just see the look in his eyes, the tension he had to feel know. Part of her still refused to let him go, but she had not much of a choice; he had ruined things really badly yesterday. She however wasn't going to explain things by phone. _I don't wanna talk about this by phone_ , she texted back.  _I have to work within an hour and a half. Can you come to the library cafetaria?_

* * *

Juice impatiently waited for her to text back. Maybe her parents were texting, just pretending it was her. But that would go too far, right? Even for them. He looked at her new text, hope spreading through his body. Maybe she would forgive him.  _Yes, of course! I'll be there,_  he texted back quickly and he felt already better.

Quickly he took a shower, changed his clothes and brushed his teeth. All of this took him twenty minutes, then he left and headed for the library. His bike still wasn't here, so he had to walk now and get it later. 

* * *

Grace told her mom the truth before she left; that she would meet Juice and tell him they could no longer see each other. First she didn't seem too happy about it, but when she said it would be in a public place, even at her work, she agreed. Nervously she drove to the library, knowing this wasn't the message he was hoping for. When she arrived at the cafetaria he wasn't there yet. She chose a table in the farthest corner and waited until he showed up, nervously picking at her hair.

Only a few minutes after Grace, Juice walked into the cafeteria, looking for Grace, finding her immediately. Slowly, he went over and took a seat. He felt guilty, embarrassed and sorry. "Hey..."

"Hey..." She had folded her hands in her lap so he wouldn't take them; she was afraid the conversation would only be harder if she felt his touch again. Still the greeting felt awkward ‒ which wasn't that strange after everything that had happened. "You want something?"

Juice gave her a weak smile. He wanted to reach for her hands, hold her, kiss her ‒ but there was a bad feeling in his stomach. "No. I want to talk to you now that I'm sober. I'm so sorry for yesterday. I can't tell you how stupid I feel, Grace," he admitted, bowing his head.

"I know," she answered. "You're, uh, torrent of messages this morning made that pretty clear." She smiled briefly and stood up. "I'm going to get a cup of tea. Are you sure you don't want anything?" She was still nervous, holding a cup in her hands would probably help her to stop picking on her clothes. She wanted to take the time for this ‒ especially because it might be the last time she would talk to him.

"Sorry about the messages, I was worried..." He cleared his throat. His stomach cramped as she smiled. Would he ever see that smile again in the future? They now lived in the same town. How was he supposed to see her but not talk to her? But maybe she would give him a chance. "No, thanks." 

Grace wanted to say that she thought it was kinda cute, but she was afraid it would sound flirty and she didn't want to create the wrong impression. Instead, she nodded, walked to the bar and asked for a cup of tea. She sat down again, dropping the tea bag in the cup and turned to Juice again, her hands wrapped around the warm glass. "Have there been other things you weren't honest about?" she asked.

Juice leaned back and took off his cap. "In the period between we met for the first and the second time, I slept with one or two other girls, besides Rowena," he admitted. "But I always imagined it was you. And since you wanted something serious... I wanted, want, that too." No matter how hard it was, he had to look her in the eye. 

Her cheeks flushed at the thought of him thinking about her while having sex with someone else. She stared into the red brown water and sighed. At least he was honest now, she told herself. And it didn't matter anymore anyway, but she just wanted to know it. "Okay." She studied his face for a while, taking in those beautiful eyes, the stubble on his jaws, the tattoos on his head. Would she ever meet a man again that called up the strong feelings he did? She tried to find the courage to tell him what she had to tell him, but she was afraid that he would leave and she wanted him around her just a little longer.

"I know it's not cool to hear that, but I wanted to be completely honest, I've messed up enough things." He sighed deeply and ran a hand across his face. "Grace... I-I don't know what to say, I'm not good in this, I'm not good in relationships as it seems and I'm not sure if I'm good in anything expect club business. So... please just say what you wanna tell me. It's torture not to know what's gonna happen." His voice sounded almost shaky, but he still tried to control it. 

Grace's heart broke as she heard his fragile voice. Despite her earlier plans, she reached out for his hand and took it. "My father told my mother what you said to him in the car. I don't think this will come as a surprise for you, but they don't want me to see you ever again after... this conversation." She let out a shaky sigh. "They were really shocked by you behavior."

Baffled, he stared at their hands and he quickly took her hands in his, pressing a soft kiss on her knuckles. He had known that these words would come and he wasn't really surprised after what he did yesterday. "What about you? Do you still want to see me?"

Grace bowed her head and stared at their hands as well. The touches of his lips made her shiver and called up tears in her eyes. "I just want to pretend yesterday and our goodbye the night before never happened."

"Then let's do that! I don't wanna lose you, Grace. I can give you time, space, whatever you want. And we won't tell your parents. And I'll never do such a stupid thing again," he promised her, almost begging her. 

Grace bit her lip. "I don't think I can do this without my parents knowing about it. I can't use Adrian as an excuse all the time." She sighed, his hopeful tone didn't go by unnoticed but she really had no idea how this could work. "But maybe you're right. Maybe time will... smooth things over a bit."

Juice sighed and got lost in his thoughts for a moment before he looked at her again. "Okay, maybe... they'll forgive me one day. I don't believe it, but if I can make you happy, maybe it's okay for them then." She was right, she couldn't use Adrian all the time to see him. 

Grace nodded. They had to forgive him one day; forgiving other people was part of their daily prayer. But how long before they could try it again? With her free hand, she rubbed her face. "I know you're not experienced with relationships, but I honestly have no idea what we should do now," she admitted. "Break contact for a few months and start dating again after that?" She sighed.

Juice looked at her as if she was joking, but she was serious. How should he wait a few  _months_ without calling her? What if he would see her on the street? Should he ignore her? He could never do that. "We can try that. But if I see you, I won't ignore you. Is that what you want? 

"I don't want any of this," she said, and she couldn't help she sounded bitter. "But I don't know what else we should do. And you don't have to ignore me, of course not, we just shouldn't do, you know, romantic stuff." Like holding hands. But she didn't want to let go of him yet. 

Her almost bitter voice showed him that she didn't want this either, but it was probably their only option. With his thumb he stroked the back of her hand, her knuckles. "What if you find another guy?" 

"If we fall in love with someone else... I guess we weren't supposed to be, right? I don't think you have to worry about that, I never met someone who called up such a strong feelings like you do."

A smile formed on his lips at those words. "And I've never met a girl like you before." 

Grace smiled a little but she knew he would be with lots of other girls in that time span and she could barely handle the thought. 

"And do you think we can do that? Not touching each other when when we see each other? Because I'm not sure if I can keep my hands off you. Even when I'm trying." Juice shrugged, looking at her a bit skeptical. 

"Well, I don't think we will run into each other that much. They neither want me to see Faye, she won't be the cause we see each other." She pulled back her hand, placing her elbows on the table and buried her face into them. "I hate this," she said with a shaky voice.

"Please don't be mad at her. She really likes you, she was so glad she finally found a friend. Please don't let Miles ruin things," he said softly. If he could at least save their friendship, he would do it. Juice swallowed as he heard her shaky voice and looked down. "Me too..." The fear that Grace could find another guy was big and he didn't even want to think about it.

"This has nothing to do with Miles. This is about you showing up drunk in front of my door and that stupid conversation in the car. They want me to break with the whole MC, not just you. I'm not angry with Faye, not at all. But my parents consider her as the one with the bad influence, no matter what I say."

"Okay, me showing up at your house wasn't Miles fault, but he was the one why it ended like that," he shrugged. Still, he wanted to beat the shit out of the man, he even had the urge to kill him, but that would shock Grace even more. "Think this is going to be complicated. But I still want you, I don't care how hard it will be."

Grace nodded and took the last sip of her tea. She glanced at the clock. Ten more minutes before she had to work. "Come," she said softly, feeling the need of a bit more privacy now some of her colleagues were around too. She took him to the library, switched on the lights and grabbed his hand. She needed one more moment. One more moment with him. She led him to a far corner with reference books nobody ever paid attention to and wrapped her arms around him, pressing his body against hers. Closing her eyes, she cemented the feeling of it to her memory. "You're a good man, Juice," she said, looking up to him again. He could have responded whole differently, he could have claimed that her parents were idiots, that she shouldn't listen to them, that she was acting like a child; all to get his way. "Don't forget about that. You made mistakes, but those are forgiven." She sighed softly. "At least by me." Her hand stroked his stubbly cheek, her breathing brushed his lips. Looking into his brown eyes, she wondered what was best. No contact at all? That would be hard, but speaking each other on the phone would only make her miss him more. It was best if they tried to forget about each other for at least three months. Three months without him... Her stomach cramped at the thought. But she needed to gain her parents' trust again and if they tried to be together again within a few months, it would show them how serious they were about each other.

Juice held her tight, as if he could lose her any moment. Her sweet scent filled his nostrils. "I want to be... I wanna be a good man for you, Grace," he whispered, running his fingers through her curly hair. He leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes for a moment. "I try to do better, you'll see." As he felt her breath on his lips a shiver ran down his spine. His hand stroked up and down her back. How should he stay away from her for three months? "I'm gonna miss you..." he said softly, his lips briefly touching hers. 

A tear glided down her cheek as Grace kissed him back. If he hadn't been drunk yesterday, if he hadn't said those things to her parents, how would things have been then? Her parents wouldn't have liked her choice, but she doubted they would have forbidden her to see him again, not until he gave them a reason to distrust him. But he had given them exactly that reason. She buried her face against his chest, knowing she would miss him too. She had already missed him those first two weeks, and that was before they had kissed, before they had gotten intimate, before they had expressed their feelings for each other. Taking a deep breath, she looked up to him again. "Three months is a long time," she said softly. "I'm not going to ask you to stay faithful to me until we are back together again. So, don't feel guilty if you're with other women." She hated the thought that he would do that, but celibacy for three months would be a fight for him that she didn't want to put him up with.

Juice felt weak, sick, even sad. This was so wrong. Why couldn't they just be happy together? Was it too much to ask for? He never really had such feelings for a girl and now he finally found one, and then... this? He had messed up everything. He said nothing for a while, but as she looked up at him, he took her face in his hands, listening to her words. 

"Grace I... I don't think we should talk about this. You know how much I like you and... I don't think it'll be hard to resist other women," he answered honestly. Sure, it was a long time and maybe it would be hard, and he also didn't want to promise her things ‒ but he would do everything in his power to stay faithful. "But the same goes for you. If you find a better guy, don't waste your time and go for it." His own words hurt him, but he wanted her to be happy. 

His words made her smile. "Well, I wouldn't mind if you only want me." She stroked his cheek. "If I meet someone else, I will let you know." With a deep sigh she buried herself inside his arms one more time. "I miss you already," she muttered.

"How could I want another girl if I can have you, hmm?" he asked, smiling. At least she would give him a chance after those months. She could have hated him for the rest of their lives, but she didn't. He pressed her softly against him and hugged her tightly. "Me too..." he mumbled.

Once more she was tempted by his lips. She gave him one last, long kiss before she stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself. "Well, I guess that's it then," she sighed.

A long sigh left his lips as she backed away from the kiss. Seems like this was their last one. He took a step back, bowed his head and nodded. "Yeah..." He couldn't stay any longer and left the library and the café quickly. It was too hard to resist her and now he had to stay away from her for three whole months. 

Grace took a deep breath as she watched Juice leave, once more taking in the site of him. She knew he really liked her, but would it be enough to be still interested in her within three months? They had no guarantee that it would be any different then, maybe he would realize that. Sighing, she walked to the counter and started up the computers. It didn't take long before Polly showed up next to her. Grace knew her from the church group; she was also the one who had gotten Grace this job. Their friendship was still in an early stage, but Grace had good hopes for it. Polly wasn't that long in Charming herself too, which had immediately created a bond. 

"What was that Son doing here?" she asked surprised, but with a dark, disapproving tone. 

"We have dated for a while," she admitted softly. "But my parents weren't too happy about it, so we've just broken up." 

"Aw, that's hard." Polly laid a hand on her shoulder. "But I think your parents are smart. Those guys..." She shook her head. 

Grace's jaw tensed. The last thing she wanted, was hearing from another person how much of a mismatch they were. "You don't know him. Don't judge him." 

"I know his type," she shrugged. "A friend of mine is hanging out a lot in their clubhouse. How do they call those groupies again?"

 Grace shrugged, even though she knew the answer. 

"I dare to bet she slept with him. She knows them inside out. Maybe she can help you get over him." 

"No thanks," she answered shortly. "Please stop talking about him." 

Polly looked her briefly in the eye, but did as she asked and left the library. She was working in the cafetaria; Juice had been the only reason she had came into the library itself. 

The day went by slowly. Her thoughts were with Juice and it was hard to concentrate on anything. More than once she had to resist herself so she wouldn't send him a text. When she got home, there was a tensed expression on her mother's face. 

"How did he react?" she asked. 

"How do you think he react?" she answered moody. 

Her mother shrugged. "I assume he complained about your parents." 

"He didn't. He regretted all the words he spoke yesterday and he was hurt. Just like me. I'm glad at least dad and you are happy about it." 

She turned around and walked to her bed room, diving down on her bed and hugging her pillow. This felt so unfair. For the first time in her life she had fallen for someone and her feelings didn't even get the chance to grow.


	34. Chapter 34

Juice didn't go home, instead he went to the club. A few hours had passed since he had met with Grace and the girl had been in his thoughts the whole time.

"Juice, I need some more information about Zobelle, his family and any other shit you can find," Clay told him while he got himself a beer.

Juice jumped briefly as Clay tore him out of his thoughts and nodded quickly. Great, he was so in thoughts that he couldn't even really think about Zobelle right now, but it was important for the club so he had no choice. He took the laptop which stood next to him and started his search for more information. Again he thought about the three months. Was it safer for Grace this way? It definitely was, and that was the only reason why he could accept the distance between them.

* * *

Faye took her phone out of her pocket.  _Hey Grace, I'm not sure if you want to hear from me, but I'm sorry about what happened. I'm sorry about that stupid bet and I really don't want to lose you,_  she texted her friend.

Grace read the text and sighed. She had wanted to talk in person to her friend but she still felt emotional because of her goodbye to Juice. _It's okay, I'm not angry. But my parents are, since Juice showed up at my door drunk, telling them what sinful things he had done with me, and they forbid me to see him or you again. I'm sorry._

Faye sat down on her bed, the phone still in her hands. Grace's message hurt her. So, her parents forbid her to see her? Great, couldn't be better. What kind of shit was that?  _Yeah_ ,  _Juice texted me what happened and he feels really bad about it. I can even understand your parents. But I didn't do anything to them, don't you think there's a chance they'll allow me to see you?_  Faye really wanted to be there for Grace, and she needed her too.

 _You introduced me to him, they believe you dragged me into that world_. Grace bit her lip. It felt so wrong, especially since Faye needed her.  _Maybe I can sneak out of the window once a week, at night. Just to talk?_  Her parents would probably flip if they found out, but abandoning a friend in need, that couldn't be God's will. There was a fire stairs close to her window, so it shouldn't be that hard.

 _Shit, makes sense. But I don't want you to get into more trouble._ Faye swallowed at the thought that she could be the reason why Grace would have even more problems with her parents. Was she selfish because she actually liked her plan?  _But if you're sure about this I'd be glad to see you at least once a week._

 _I'd be glad too. It feels like I have lost all my friends in one day :(_ She also had to inform Kip. She hadn't spoken to him since he had taken her to the hospital, but he had been good company and she missed his funny stories. She had spent more time with him than with Juice, but every moment with Juice had been much intenser. She didn't even know what to say to Kip, there was no way she would tell him the real reason she could no longer hang out with a biker.

 _Hey, you didn't lose anyone, okay? You can always come to me and to the others, we are here for you!_ And that was the truth. No one would abandon her, not in a hundred years. And no matter how bad she felt, there was always a place for Grace if she needed help.

Her words made her smile. She wished she could welcome everyone too, but that wouldn't be possible before she could buy or rent her own house. _I know, but I just feel a bit lonely now. It's just hard if someone decides for you who you can meet and who not._

 _Are you okay? I mean... your parents. I don't want to judge but_ ‒ _did they do something?_

Her answer gave Grace a bad feeling, especially because Juice had been afraid too. Her fingers floated above the keyboard.  _They were really disappointed in me because of the things I had done, but to be honest I had expected more angry screaming._

The girl was relieved when Grace told her that her parents didn't do anything.  _Okay, at least they didn't scream at you the whole time. Maybe they aren't even that disappointed in you but more in Juice and the rest of us. She_ chewed her bottom lip.  _Why don't we meet outside when your parents are asleep? Or I can come over. I always loved to climb through a window!_  She didn't, really, and with her wound it would be even harder ‒ but she wanted to see her friend.

 _No, they are definitely disappointed in me. I was the one sinning. I think they are even happy Juice showed up like that, it was the perfect example of how a boyfriend shouldn't be. G_ race considered her offer. There was a risk that they would be heard, but Faye could easily hide here.  _Okay, they usually go to sleep around 10 so if you come an hour later we should be fine. :)_

 _I'm sorry that this happened, must be hard when your own parents are disappointed in you._  Faye sighed. Her parents never were disappointed yet, but maybe it was because they were so easy. Smiling, she looked at the screen.  _Anyway, I'll be there!_  Faye put her phone aside and changed clothes. She really had to pay attention to how she dressed again, that's why she chose

* * *

 

It felt like the evening had no end. They ate in silence and drank tea with just as few words. She counted down the minutes until it was 11 and unlocked the window. She was already wearing her pajamas, so she could pretend to sleep any moment.

Faye had talked to Gemma again and spent some time with her before her mom headed to the club because she would sleep there with Clay tonight. At eleven, Faye left the house with only her phone and keys. She was careful and tried to be as quiet as she could while she climbed up the fire stairs which were close to Grace's window. With a lot of effort, she managed to climb into her friend's window and pressed a hand against her wound. "Man, next time you'll come over," she whispered with a smirk on her face.

"Isn't it as cool as you thought?" she asked with a slight smile, shoving aside so Faye could sit down on the bed next to her, with their backs against a pile of pillows against the wall.

"It was cooler when I was younger," she chuckled softly, sitting down next to Grace, leaning against the pillows with her back. "I was so afraid that you would hate me... you have no idea, but I'm glad you don't." She however still felt bad about all that shit. "I didn't join because I wanted to get in your pants, okay? I mean... you look good and I wouldn't say no to you ‒ but my heart belongs to someone else," she winked.

"But why did you join?" she asked softly. She still didn't understand it, not from Juice and not from her. Unless they really wanted to win, but why couldn't they just say so? She fidgeted with the corner of the blanket, feeling a bit awkward because Faye had just told her she was also into girls and wouldn't say no to her.

"I thought I could keep them away from you then. I even thought about telling them that I was in bed with you. Not because I needed the money but because they maybe would've stopped trying." She shrugged briefly. "I think that's the same reason why Juice joined ‒ and because he didn't want to seem like a softie. But he learned from that, believe me." Faye looked at her friend. "You okay?"

Grace sighed. It sounded just stupid. "I know he really likes me, but I just... can't forget about Miles' words. I mean... We really went far and he even wanted more, but the moment I left the house I learnt about the bet and that he had told his friends what he had planned to do with me. It was just... Such an unbelievable timing."

"No one wants you to forget about Miles' words, that's almost impossible. But I know how pissed he was that evening, which was my fault. And yeah, the timing was really... shitty," she admitted, sighing. "Give you and Juice some time, you'll see what happens then. It can't get worse, right? We just need to think positive, especially you."

"Well, I want to forget about it," she sighed. "We said goodbye to each other this afternoon." With her index finger she slalomed between her knuckles, thinking about Juice's touch. "For at least three months, hoping things have settled down a bit after that with my parents."

"Oh wait, really? Three months? That's a long time," she mumbled, running a hand through her hair. "That's not fair, you two were so cute." Faye turned her head to look at Grace. "I hope your parents can forgive him one day."

"Tell me about it. I don't even know if we will really try again after such a long period. Maybe he will realize how much a relationship with me asks from him. I wouldn't blame him." She leaned back in the pillows, sighing. "I really hope they will give him another chance ‒ and that he won't blow it this time." 

"I think he knows exactly what he ran into, don't underestimate Juice. If he really likes you... he'll accept all of this." She smiled briefly. "And he won't do such a thing again, I can assure you that." 

Grace studied the girl's face. "I hope you're right... But how are you? What happened with Miles, what did you do to piss him off that he wanted to ruin whatever it was that Juice and I were having?"

Faye looked at the ceiling, folding her hands in her lap. "He caught Happy and me kissing in the hospital. When he drove me home that day, he offered to do the same for me so it would make me feel better. I told him no and that kinda pissed him off. I have the feeling he likes me a bit more, but maybe I'm wrong."

"Sounds like he does, indeed," Grace mused. "Guess that's the reason he wanted nobody happy that night." She studied Faye's face again, smiling slightly. "So... you two kissed? How did that happen?"

"I'm so pissed that he really needed to destroy your evening with Juice, never thought he'd do something like that. She shook her head but immediately a smile formed on her face at Grace's question. "I think he wanted to comfort me. I don't know, it just happened. And today we... slept together again..." she blushed, her smile growing even bigger.

"Oh... wow," Grace answered ‒ but a little reserved. She wanted to be happy for her friend, it was clear she felt better, but somehow she was afraid the man was just taking advantage of her vulnerability. "Do you think his feelings are changing?"

The smile faded away slowly. "I don't know to be honest. It really was different this time, it wasn't just a fuck. It seemed like he really wanted to be gentle, wanted to show me that I'm not a whore. But no, I don't think he will fall for me," she answered honestly even though it hurt to say those words. "But I won't give up so quickly."

Grace played with the end of a long curl, thinking about her words. "Aren't you afraid that you will get hurt? Isn't it better to... let him go, if you don't think he will ever love you in the same way?"

"Of course I am afraid," she answered, her voice sounding a little fragile. "But I just can't let him go. Every time I see him there's this tingling and warm feeling in my body."

"Yeah, I recognize that," Grace sighed. She loved that feeling, and she knew Juice for only a few weeks. She wanted to say that she should be careful that her life wasn't going to stand still because of a man who didn't want to go further, but she kept the words to herself. "I'm glad to hear that he's at least not treating you like... a whore," she said softly, not exactly knowing how whores were treated. Had Juice treated her different from all those girls he had slept with?

"Same with you and Juice, huh?" She glanced at her friend. It must be so hard for her to stay away from him, especially since he was the first one who called such feelings up in her. "Yeah me too. Maybe...  we'll have a chance one day, I don't give up hope." She took Grace's hand and looked at her. "Did you talk to your parents? At least to one of them? I mean... did you explain your feelings for Juice? Don't they understand?"

"I talked about it. I think my mother understands me, she told me she was in love with a not christian boy too but it didn't work out for them." She sighed. 

"If she understands you, she should give you the chance to make your own decisions. I know that sounds hard and I like your mom, she's nice ‒ but you're old enough." That was at least her opinion, and parents wanted their kids to be happy, right? 

"You know... I do understand them. Juice made me do things I didn't want in advance." Her cheeks flushed. "He didn't force me into anything, but I couldn't stop him either. Maybe... maybe it's for the best. I don't want... I don't want to keep sinning. Maybe I need to grow stronger before we can try it again."

"No, stop. He didn't force you, you felt good, that's what matters. And I don't think it's a sin enjoying things ‒ unless you turn into a whore but I'm pretty sure that will never happen. You can't tell me you don't think about him and his touch, so why only think about it?"

"I shouldn't think about it either," she muttered. "But Faye... Not everything that feels good  _is_ good. Some people feel good while torturing other people, or even murdering people. Feeling good is not a measurement, that's why God gave us the Bible. That tells us what is good and what isn't." She really wanted her friend to understand, but they had such different standards that she doubted she ever could.

Faye wanted to say something, but Grace's answer wasn't even so wrong. "I understand what you're trying to say, but you can't compare sex to killing or torturing people. Sex is natural, normal, amazing." As it seemed, she still had no idea what the club members did sometimes and she wouldn't tell her, not now. "The Bible can't tell you what's good for you or not, only you can make that decision ‒ or you'll never be truly happy. No offense to the Bible," she raised her hands briefly and smiled.

Grace smiled sadly because her friend was really trying to understand it. "I don't deny that sex is amazing, that's exactly why I want to keep it as a gift to my future husband. I want to offer him not only my heart, but my whole being, my whole body. It's just... the most precious gift someone can give to another."

"Okay, let's just forget about sex, I mean, it's not the most important thing in the world. I just want to understand it. You two didn't even have sex. I know, foreplay is a part of it, but it's not a big of a sin, or is it? And who knows, maybe he'll be your husband one day," she smiled. Faye could already imagine that, the two of them together.

"The Bible isn't that clear about foreplay," she said with red cheeks, still feeling uncomfortable about the subject but also glad that she had someone to talk about it. "But I don't know, it's like I'm already giving away pieces of that great gift and I don't think that's supposed to happen." 

"Oh great," she murmured softly before she sat up a little. She would never understand this lifestyle and she actually didn't want to ‒ it was like a prison. "Then don't do it anymore if you don't want to, if you feel too ashamed after it." Maybe it was better if Grace would find a church boy. Not because Juice was bad for her, but because it may be better for the both of them.

Grace dropped her eyes. Faye's words hurt. Not because she was wrong; on the contrary, she was right. She shouldn't do things like that anymore and she felt weak because she hadn't resisted harder.

Faye saw how the girl's face changed and she quickly moved to another subject. "But your parents won't send you off to a church school now, right?" That was a serious question. She knew religious people often did this.

Grace shook her head. "No, I think I'm too old for a church school, but I wouldn't be surprised if they would eventually sent me to a nunnery to bring me closer to God. They won't do that yet, but if I keep misbehaving they might find the need to send me away."

"A nunnery, really? You don't have a say in that case? Don't get me wrong, but I think that's a thing parents shouldn't do. Whatever, let's change the subject."

She tugged on her curls and listened how Faye also waved the next subject away. "Maybe it's better if you go," Grace whispered. Every subject just seemed to lead to a discussion, making her wonder how this friendship would ever work. She wanted to talk things through, understand every point of view, but it seemed that Faye was the opposite; she brushed it off when she didn't like the subject.

Faye sighed deeply, running a hand across her face and standing up. "I just want to help you, but it seems like you don't want help. The only thing you see is the Bible and God. You're my friend, and I want you to be happy, you know?" she said in a calm voice, meaning every word she said. "I don't want to be rude and I'm sorry if my words hurt you." She swallowed and walked over to the window. "Call me if you need anything." After those words she climbed out of the window and went back to the fire stairs.

"Great," Grace muttered to herself as she dropped down on the bed. There was a nasty feeling in her stomach. She was focusing so much on her own problems that she was barely interested in those of her friend. Maybe she could better go to sleep, forgetting about all the people she had hurt today.


	35. Chapter 35

Faye didn't leave his mind since he had dropped her off, and it didn't change much the day after. It was starting to annoy him and when the night fell he summoned Rowena, hoping she could erase the girl from his mind for a while. The sex was good, just as he was used to, but the next morning Faye was still the first one who crossed his mind and it was really pissing him off. What the hell was this? Was he falling for her? No, he never fell for anyone. This was just his guilt forcing itself upon him in new ways. Still he started the day with a bad mood, and he pushed Rowena out of the bed because he could no longer bear another presence in his room. "Get out," he grumbled. The whore stood up, a little confused, but quickly dressed herself before she fled his room.

* * *

Faye just entered the clubhouse with a coffee to go in her hand. Her thoughts were still with Happy, Grace and Juice ‒ it was hard to focus on something else, but most of the time she thought about Happy; the sex, the way he treated her last time. It was different. 

"Morning," she said with a smile, looking around. The others waved at her or said hi. Her dad and Gemma were nowhere to be seen. Just as she wanted to take a sip from her coffee, Rowena came from the dorms. Faye wasn't stupid, of course that girl had been with Happy. It felt like someone stabbed her heart with a knife at the thought that he had slept with Rowena only hours after they'd slept together. Jealousy arose in her. It wasn't the first time, but it was worse than ever. 

Slowly, she passed Rowena and tipped the cup of coffee over her clothes. "Bitch," she murmured under her breath, ignoring the Croweater and going straight to Happy's room. "Are you serious?!" she hissed, slamming the door behind her.

"What?" he asked annoyed. Sure, he knew she was pissed because of Rowena but she had no right to ‒ they were just friends with benefits.

"Was it so bad that you needed to fuck her only a few hours later?" she looked at him furiously and disappointed at the same time. It hurt her so badly that it was hard to suppress a sob. 

"What the hell is your problem? I just wanted to fuck and she was around. It's simple as that."

"Yeah... right..." she laughed bitterly and came closer, looking into his eyes. "What my problem is? You know my feelings for you! And there is always a little more hope after we slept together... but no, it's always that bitch. Why is it only Rowena and no other chick? Maybe you like her a bit too much?" 

"You know those feelings are not mutual, having hope is just stupid. Rowena is just good, you'd be happier if I fucked others?' He asked, his chin upward.

"It's not stupid. And no ‒ why don't you call me? I mean... you... God!" she couldn't hold back the sob anymore. "Why do you have to be such an asshole? And look at me!" 

"Why the hell would I call you every time I want a fuck? You're no whore, right? Stop. Acting. Like. One."

"No, I'm not, but am I so different from them to you? I don't think so..." she muttered, looking down at the floor. Wow, this was so awkward. 

"Well you certainly don't act different," he grunted. 

"Yeah, because I want your attention. Isn't it sad that I have to act like a whore to get it?" There was a sad smile on her face, but at least she wasn't furious anymore. 

"I don't get it. What is it you wanna hear from me, Faye?"

"You know what I want to hear, and I slowly start to think that Grace was right. Maybe I should try to forget my feelings about you."

"Yea, you should indeed listen to that church girl of yours. She definitely knows what's best for you."

"So, what now? I can't stay away from the club forever and neither can you. How are we gonna do this?"

Happy shrugged. "Just pretend I'm not there."

Faye raised an eyebrow. "You really never were in love, huh? Oh wow, this is..." She didn't know what to add.

"No, I've never been in love. With anyone. I just... don't do stuff like that. I told you this before, why is it different now?" he asked, crossing his arms before his chest. He wanted her to grow up, to stop being such a desperate teenager.

"Don't you want to have an Old Lady one day? A family? Something you can be proud of except your cut?" she asked quietly. And there it was again ‒ she couldn't even give him a family. "Uh... forget it, I'll do what I can to just forget about my feelings, okay?" She stood up and headed to the door, taking a deep breath and leaving the room. 

"Faye..." Happy sighed before she left the door. She turned around and with his eyes he gestured her inside. He didn't want to open op to her, but he felt the need to. He had seen the hurt look in her eyes when she talked about a family and he remembered again how broken she was. "Look, it isn't that I don't want those things, okay? I just... I don't think I'm able to have an Old Lady or a... family. Some persons just... don't develop such feelings. I can't help it. Some people are just better off alone."

Faye's expressions softened and a lump formed in her throat. "You don't even give it a chance. What about your mom, hmm? You love her, you take care of her, you're worried about her. See, you're not a bad person without feelings. I don't want to force you into anything, but maybe you should give it a try. Family gives you strength, Happy, it's not just a burden."

She was drawing so much conclusions that weren't true, Happy didn't even know if he should explain himself. "I know I care about people, Faye. About my mom. My brothers. About you. But caring about friends or family isn't the same as having romantic feelings for someone. Some people are just aromantic and I know for a long time I'm one of those people."

Faye swallowed and bowed her head. Maybe he really couldn't develop such feelings, maybe he wanted it but couldn't. Then all the trying was for nothing. "I think I have to accept this..." she murmured softly, looking at him again. "Like I said ‒ I'll try to forget about my feelings for you. Please just be patient with me because they won't change so fast."

Happy nodded slowly; that sounded like a wise plan. "I shouldn't have slept with you again. I'm sorry. I just have to get used to women who want more from me than just a fuck."

"No, it's not your fault, I provoked it ‒ why should you say no then?" She gave him a weak smile, stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for being so honest." After those words she slowly turned around and left the room. Of course she was hurt, but it was time to get rid off her feelings.

This time Happy let her leave. There however was a strange feeling in his stomach. He had never talked about his sexual orientation with anyone before. He had always convinced himself that he didn't care about it; he was glad with the way things were; but there had been days that he had felt lonely, that he hated the fact he couldn't get what made so many other people happy.

Faye took a deep breath when she saw Rowena after she had gone outside. The woman took a smoke and looked around. She had treated her wrong, it wasn't her fault that Happy wanted her. Slowly, she walked over to her and cleared her throat. "I-I'm sorry for being a bitch to you since a while now, you didn't do anything to me." Faye mumbled, almost whispering the words. 

Rowena raised an eyebrow, looking at the redhead in surprise. "I'm not sure what happened to you but... it's okay. Just don't do shit like that again." 

Faye nodded briefly, glad the woman wasn't pissed. "I won't."

* * *

Miles was still pissed, especially because Juice had beaten him because of a girl. Sure, Grace was hot and forbidden, but that he had fallen for her? No way. And then there was Faye who didn't want him. He had a cut, was in a biker club, drove a Harley ‒ wasn't that what she wanted? He still had a need for a revenge because of the beat up so he decided to ride to the place where Grace worked. It wasn't a secret and a few people in the club knew the place. He parked his bike in front of the café, got off and went inside. It didn't take long before he spotted her. "Hey, wasn't cool of me last time..." he said as he neared her, his voice sounding friendly. 

Grace was busy with flipping through the catalog to have a look at the new books that were offered when she heard an apology. She couldn't immediately connect the voice to a name, but when she looked up it was all too clear. Her eyes grew wide as she saw Miles' face; there were bruises everywhere, his skin was swollen and there was a deep cut across his jaw. It looked like he was hit by a car and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Miles... what happened to you?"

He looked at her as if he didn't know what she was talking about, but he knew exactly what she meant. "Oh, this?" He pointed at his face and shrugged briefly. "Juice, he was really pissed that evening. But it's okay, I understand." He put all his efforts to sound super friendly, a weak smile on his face.

"Juice... Juice did that?" she asked with a shaky voice. There was a twisted feeling in her stomach because he was apparently able to become so violent. "It's not okay... That's no way to solve things."

Miles shrugged briefly. "Nah, it's okay, that's how we solve things. Don't worry, it's not that bad at all." His smile almost turned into a grin when he heard her shaky voice. The club life wasn't made for that girl at all. "But I'm here because I wanted to ask you if I can make amends?"

Miles acting like it was the most normal thing in the world to beat up each other, only made things worse for her. What were they, cavemen? In disbelief she shook her head; but her surprise increased as she heard his question. He wanted to make things right now? "Uh, you don't have to," she said quickly. "Its okay, really. I know it was just a stupid joke."

Miles took a deep breath and thought about how he could convince her to drink a coffee with her. "I know that I don't have to, but I want too. It was a stupid joke but I saw it hurt you. And that wasn't okay."

Grace's fingers went to the crucifix around her neck, as always when she was nervous. If he really wanted to show his regret, she felt the need to give him that chance. For he was right; he had hurt her. Deeply. "Uhm, what did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, just a coffee? Or can I do you a favor?" he asked curiously, hoping he could do something which would piss Juice off.

"Uhm, a coffee is okay. Just here in the cafetaria?" She was ready for a break anyway.

"If you want, but we can also go to another place, I don't mind," he offered her. But to be honest, he wasn't up for a big conversation, although he couldn't show her that.

Grace hesitated for a while, but in the end she decided she would feel more comfortable if she wasn't around her colleagues. "There's a coffee corner on the other side of the road. We can grab a coffee there?" She had been there with Kip a couple of times too; it was a nice place.

Miles nodded. "Yeah, sure, let's go there," he smiled briefly and looked around. "Uh, want me to wait outside or can you leave already?" 

Grace glanced at the clock. "No, I can go now. I have about fifteen minutes." That should be enough, she wouldn't know what to say to him anyway. She announced at her supervisor that she was going to take her break and followed Miles outwards.

"Fifteen minutes are fine, I think we can finish a coffee in that time," he replied before they already walked outside. "Did you talk to Juice again?"

Her hand went back to her necklace. She had spent time with different Sons now, but she definitely felt the least comfortable around Miles. Talking about Juice was something she neither wanted to do, but she hadn't much of a choice. "Yes we did, he convinced me that I wasn't just... you know... a price." They shoved at a table and nervously Grace waited until someone would take their orders. 

He noticed that her hand was around her necklace again. Man, that girl was so shy and boring that he almost felt bad for ruining that for Juice. As if she'd ever sleep with him. "Oh, that's nice. You know, we guys just do stupid things sometimes, don't take it too serious." A woman came up to them to take their orders. He just ordered a normal coffee and one for Grace too.

Grace didn't like coffee that much, she rather had a cup of tea, but she said nothing and nodded as a response to Miles' words, happy he didn't contradict Juice's words. Apparently he was really sorry. She looked to his beaten face again, imagining how Juice had been smashing at it. There was a weak feeling in her stomach, she didn't like the thought that he was capable of hurting another person like this. She took the coffee from the waitress and folded her hands around it, not knowing what to say to this man.

Miles had no idea what to say either, but he would definitely tell Juice that he had talked to her and that they had drank a coffee together ‒ just to piss him off. He took his coffee and turned his head. "You plan to come back to the club one day? Or is this over with you and Juice?"

Grace stared into her drink. She didn't want to discuss the situation with Juice with him, nor did she want to give him the feeling that their break-up was his fault. "I don't know," she said honestly. "We need some space for now."

"Oh, I understand. If that was my fault, I'm really sorry," he lied. He didn't regret anything. If he couldn't be happy, no one should be ‒ even though that was childish. 

"You were the trigger, but it wouldn't come as a surprise to you that Juice and I aren't exactly the same type of people. We need time to figure things out." She shrugged, stirring in her coffee that had cooled down a bit. She drank from it while there fell an unpleasant silence. A few more minutes, then it would be wise to go.

"That's true, you're completely different, but I think that's what everyone likes about you," he replied and shrugged. It wasn't forbidden to say that, right? The man leaned over a little and smiled. "I'm glad you talked to me." 

His words made her smile. She had the feeling that everyone had been judging her because she was different, not that they would like it. "I'm glad you apologized." She stood up, and looked at his battered face once more. "And I wished Juice hadn't beaten you up that much. You didn't deserve that."

When she smiled, he understood why Juice liked her. Not that he wanted her; there was an other girl, but her smile was beautiful, and so was she. He stood up as well and shrugged. "Nah, it's really okay, I definitely deserved a few hits." 

Grace didn't know what to add and waved him goodbye a bit awkwardly, before she turned around and went back to the library. Having seen his cut and talking about Juice, made her miss him all of a sudden and for the rest of the day she couldn't get him out of her mind while she brought books to the right places and helped visitors find the right works.

* * *

Juice sat in front of his laptop for hours until he finally had enough information. When he finally sat back and drank his beer, Miles came into the club with a wide grin on his face and a good mood. 

Juice grinned briefly when he saw the face of the man, after all, he had deserved it. However, when Miles came directly to him and sat down next to him, his grin disappeared. Now he was rather annoyed, he really had no desire to talk to that guy. "What do you want ?" he asked annoyed when Miles still smirked. 

"I had a coffee with your new girlfriend and it didn't take much time to persuade her. And she didn't like what you did to my face," he told him. Just when Juice was about to say something, Miles continued: "But don't worry, I put in a good word for you." 

Juice's body tensed, every single muscle. Had he been really so bold to drink a coffee with Grace? His stupid fake grin pissed him off even more. "You asshole just did that to make me look bad, right ?" he asked, clenching his jaw. He got up and glared at Miles. "If you bother Grace again, it won't be just a few bruises on your face, you get that?" He was so close to beating him again, but he thought of Grace. How had she reacted? They had just talked things out, and now Miles probably made her feel insecure again. "Get out, now,"Juice growled.

Miles didn't move. "Man, it's just a chick, calm down." 

A bitter laugh came from Juice. It was true, he _had_ to calm down, he couldn't beat up his 'brother' again ‒ he doubted Clay would like that. "Shithead," Juice hissed and he left the clubhouse, knowing things wouldn't end good otherwise.


	36. Chapter 36

More than a week had passed since Grace had said her goodbyes to Juice. Since that moment there hadn't been a single genuine smile on her face. She missed him. She wanted to see him, hear his voice, look into those beautiful eyes, she wanted to feel those butterflies in her stomach as he smiled at her. More than once she had been on the verge of sending him a text, telling him she missed him, but she had resisted the temptation to seek contact. It was almost driving her crazy – and this was only a week. It was more than just missing someone. She missed her friends in her hometown too, but this was different. She didn't know if that longing to him would ever be answered again, she had no idea if they could have a future. And worst of all: this hadn't been their own decision. Neither of them had wanted this. She tried to be busy as much as she could, for the days she was at home were the worst. Most of the days she was working and in the evening she hang out with Adrian, preparing the fundraiser. Their plan had been received with enthusiasm, and her parents had been very proud of her. Her mother couldn't stop talking about Adrian, he was just the most perfect human being on earth, and Grace knew she only said that in the hope that she would forget about Juice. But every time she was alone, every time there was no distraction, her thoughts shot back to the biker. She feared the nights, that were filled with dreams where they were together; sometimes just talking, but often kissing, cuddling or even making love. 

It was one of those nights now; she sat on the edge of her bed, her pillow wedged in her arms as her heart was racing in her chest. Shreds of the last dream were gliding through her mind. His lips had been around her nipple, his fingers inside her panties. Closing her eyes, she tried to remember how it had really felt. Her hand glided across her pajamas bottoms, pressing her fingers across the inside of her thigh, to her crotch. For a moment the idea to touch herself crossed her mind, a second later she felt disgusted by herself. "This has to stop," she whispered to herself. This was getting worse by the day. She put the light on the lamp on nightstand on, left the bed and knelt down in front of a drawer. Thinking about what her mother had said, she took the belt from it and kept sitting on her knees. 

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned," she whispered. "Purify my thoughts, make these feelings go away. Let the pain be the hand that guides me back to You." Her fingers were trembling as she took off her shirt, but she was still determined. She trusted her mother. This had helped her to find back the right way, to stay faithful to God. She took the buckle in her hand, stretched it forward and flipped the belt over her shoulder. She gasped as the leather hit her back. "Harder," she whispered, repeating the act. The second time there was a slapping sound and she flinched because of the sharp pain. Tears were burning in her eyes. Was this enough? No, the first time had been too soft. Again she whipped herself. Her body jolted and a whimper left her lips. Her whole back seemed to be burning, not only at the part that she had treated with the leather. A tear escaped her eyes. Carefully, she put on her shirt and laid down on her stomach, biting her lip. It helped. For the rest of the night, the pain was all she could think of.

* * *

A week has passed and in that time a lot happened to Faye. She had quit her job because she found it too hard to work with children ‒ even though it was her dream job. Who knows, maybe it would work again some time, but not at the moment. She had barely spoken to Happy during that time, generally speaking she had kept aloof from the club unless she wanted to see Juice.

The only one who knew more about Faye's feelings was Gemma, though she had promised Faye nothing to say anything, and she believed her mother. Still, it wasn't easier. Happy was still in her mind all day, but she had to deal with the fact that he wasn't the type for a relationship ‒ and she certainly didn't want to lose him as a friend. In order to distract herself she had looked around for a new job and was allowed to work on a trial for two days. It was in a small bar, she hadn't found anything else in a hurry. 

Right now she was just leaving a store in town, throwing some bags of new clothes into the trunk before getting into the car. Sighing, she leaned back, took her phone out of her pocket, and wrote Grace a text.  _Hey, we haven't seen each other since last time. How about we meet tomorrow? I miss you._ Hopefully, Grace wanted to do something with her. Sure, the two were different, but Faye really missed her. 

Faye went home, telling Gemma that she had the new job now and would start working there tomorrow night. The woman was happy for her daughter, especially because she felt that it would be a good distraction from Happy and all the other things. And she was right. 

Faye put her cup of coffee aside and turned to Gemma. "I have to be at a friend's house soon, don't wait for me tonight. He shows me some tricks on how to make the job even more fun," she explained, looking forward to it. 

"Or he'll show you some other things. But be careful," Gemma grinned, giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

"Mom, I won't talk to you about such things." Amused, she looked at her mom and then got her bag, looked at the mirror in the hallway and went outside to her car. It was already late, but that didn't bother her. The guy lived twenty minutes away, so it wasn't a long drive.

After she had gotten into the car, she started the music and relaxed, enjoying the silence. She was curious to what her colleague would show her. Was her mom right? Was he expecting more of the evening? Maybe, but tonight she just wanted to make  new friends. 

After about ten minutes she realized that a car behind her was getting faster and closer to hers. Faye stopped at the side of the road and waited for the car to drive past her, but it didn't. Instead, a young woman got out of the car, a few seconds later knocking on the window. 

A little skeptical Faye opened the window and then the woman began to talk in panic. "You have to help me, my baby has swallowed something and I don't know what to do!" 

A bit overwhelmed, Faye got out, having no idea what she should do now, but she couldn't just drive on, maybe she could really help the baby. The woman was so desperate that it would be inhumane not to help. 

"Where is it?" she asked, trying to stay calm. 

The blonde woman opened a door to the car and pointed inside, causing Faye to lean into the car and pulling the blanket away from the child. 

Quickly, it became clear that it wasn't a real baby but a doll. Before Faye could turn around again, she felt a heard hit on the back of her head.

* * *

Clay had told him to tail Faye, just like the days before. Ever since she had been in the hospital he wanted someone around her. Thanks to their last conversation, Miles had kept into the shadows, so that she probably didn't even know that he was around. When a woman ran to Faye's care and started to yell some hysterical things, he was immediately alarmed. He sped up his pace and rode to the van. The moment before he reached the girls, the blonde hit Faye against the head. Miles didn't hesitate. He pulled his gun and aimed it at the girl. "Step away from her!" he shouted, while Faye's unconscious body dropped on the ground.

The blonde stared at him with eyes wide. Miles didn't know what to do; should he keep her at gunpoint or should he focus on Faye? There was a head wound from which she was bleeding steadily. More people had gathered around them and the girl started to get nervous. Suddenly she slipped back in the car, before Miles could convince himself to shoot her. There were so many people around and she was unarmed; he was afraid she would press charges at him. He rode his bike to the side of the road, lifted up the girl and carried her to the sidewalk. "Faye?" he asked. "Can you hear me?"

As she heard a familiar voice she slowly opened her eyes. Her head hurt, she felt dizzy and everything seemed to turn around. "Y-yeah..." she mumbled, holding on to him tightly. "What happened? W-why are you here?" She barely looked at him, her eyes were closing again.

"Clay sent me after you to keep an eye on you," he answered, lowering her a bit so she could stand. "That girl knocked you down, I guess she's with Zobelle and tried to... kidnap you or something."

Faye shook her head, letting out a gasp. "Ah shit... my head..." she growled softly. "That stupid asshole... why me?" At the moment it really wasn't great to be the president's daughter. She was the easiest way to hurt Clay, that was just great. "Can you ‒ can you bring me home, or to the club? But away from here please." Her head still hurt and all the people around them annoyed her.

"I will take you to the clubhouse." He parked his bike on the sidewalk, picking that up later. Faye's car was still in the middle of the road, causing a traffic jam. "Let's get into your car." He laid a hand around her elbow as they crossed the road and let her go as they approached the seats. He sat down behind the steering wheel, the key was still on it and drove back to the clubhouse.

She didn't say a word, just let him help her. No matter what had happened over a week ago, she was thankful that he was here to help her. Who knows what would've happened otherwise. "Thank you," she girl whispered, pressing a hand against the wound in her head. It wasn't a big one, it would probably be better tomorrow, but the fear was back. They already took the most important thing from her. What did they want? Break her completely? 

Miles just nodded, even thought it had been nothing but his duty to keep her safe. As soon as they arrived at TM, he went inside and told Jax what had happened, who turned to his little sister immediately.

Faye stared at the ground and took a smoke. When her brother came outside she raised her head to look at him. 

"You okay?!" the man asked worried, taking her into his arms after she put the cigarette out on the ground. 

"Yeah... I am," she answered with a shaky voice, burying her face on his chest. "But this is too much! What comes next?!" she looked up at him again, tears in her eyes.

"Nothing, because this asshole is dead soon!"

It didn't take long before everyone knew what had happened to Faye. Before they went to chapel, Clay walked towards Happy and told him to keep his daughter close and away from the clubhouse until the bastard was dead. Happy nodded, ignoring how he really felt about being around Faye, and  walked up to the girl. "Ima take you home."

 Jax nodded at Happy's words. "Yeah, you won't come back here until we took care of the problem." He kissed her forehead and went back inside to talk with Clay. 

Faye swallowed and wiped away some tears. "No I ‒ I can go alone, really," she looked at him. Shit, she had tried so hard to stay away from him, but now her feelings hit her like a truck.

"Not gonna happen. Come on, you got your own personal lock down at my house. I'll make sure no one will get near you."

"Wait what? For how long? What about all my stuff? I was just about to start a new job!" She couldn't stay inside forever, especially not in Happy's house. There however was a tingling sensation in her stomach.

"I'll escort you to your work," Happy shrugged. "And we can get your stuff."

"Well, that sounds like a good plan actually..." She had to admit that, but there were still her feelings. "You know this is going to be hard, right? You really want to do this?" she asked softly, wrapping her arms around her body.

"I'm just doing what I'm told," he answered shrugging. "This is just about keeping you safe." As long as they kept their clothes on and she wasn't getting drunk, they should be fine.

"Eh... sure..." she replied, her voice sounding insecure. But what should she do? She could do nothing about it. "Okay then, let's go. I want to wash that blood out of my hair."

Without thinking, Happy grabbed her face and looked at the wound to assess if it should be stitched. "Looks ugly. Let Chibs take a look at it."

Faye sighed. "Oh great. I swear, if I find that bitch..." she mumbled. She had actually no idea who that woman was, but there was no doubt that se was linked to Zobelle. 

* * *

Adrian just left his apartment to visit Grace. They had spent a lot of time together the past week and he enjoyed it. But he wasn't stupid and he knew that she missed Juice, she barely smiled. When he reached her house, he knocked on the door and only a few moments later her mom opened the door. "Adrian, come in!" she smiled happily and stepped aside. "Grace, sweetheart, Adrian's here!"

There were red welts on her back, Grace had seen as she had dressed herself this morning. Her bra was crossing one of them, making it hurt even more. She however didn't regret what she had done last night; the pain was a constant reminder of what she had done wrong and it helped to ward off any inappropriate thoughts about Juice. When her mother called that Adrian was there, she started to get a little nervous. What if he would see that she was hurt? She would have to pay attention to herself, to every move she made. 

"Hey, you can come up," she said. By miracle her mother was fine with Adrian and her being in her bedroom; she clearly believed Adrian was a fine young man who would never do anything with her. She however didn't complain, being  glad they could be alone. They had a lot to discuss; their fund raiser was already within a week. They had spread leaflets to welcome all citizens of Charming, and they would organize a yard sale, there was a bouncy castle for the kids and there would be a stage were some bands would perform. They had a few more ideas, which they would discuss today.

Adrian smiled friendly at Grace's mother and went upstairs to Grace's room. He closed the door behind him an smiled at the girl. "Hey, I'm sorry that I'm so early, but I thought you'd be already awake." For a moment, he studied her before he sat down on the bed. "How did you sleep?" 

"It was okay," Grace answered. The first half of the night she had slept well, the last part the pain had kept her from sleeping. But at least she wasn't telling him lies. "You slept well too?"

"Yeah? Okay good," he nodded. Was she telling him the truth? He'd probably never find out. "I slept good, thanks! So, are there more ideas for the event or do you think we have enough? I mean, I'm not sure."

Grace stood up and took her notes from her desk, looking them over. "Hmm, maybe some kind of activity?" She sighed, she lacked a clear head. "Maybe some games? Fishing ducks, trowing cans, you know, for children. Paintball for teens? A football cage? Or something creative, some workshop that old women like?" She smirked. "I don't know... so many different people, so many different interests..."

Adrian listened, and he had to admit that she definitely had way more ideas than he had. "Wow, I like all of them, but we can't do all of it. The old women thing is great", he grinned. "But for real, it's great, also the football cage and fishing ducks." The kids would have much fun there, so why not? 

"Okay, I'll look for a place where I can rent the ducks and the football cage. You know someone who can do the creative thing? Or wait, I'll ask my dad if he can announce Sunday that we are looking for someone to do a creative workshop. I'm sure someone will respond." 

"My mom could do the creative thing, I'm sure she'd love it, she always loved stuff like that," he said smiling. 

Grace was really excited about the fundraiser, and the corners of her mouth curled up a little. "Polly and Hank are taking care of the food, and I have found three bands that want to perform. I think we're really well on the way!"

"Really? Three bands? That's amazing, didn't thought that." Now he was even more excited for the event and it seemed that Grace was too. 

"Yeah, I found a new piano teacher a few days ago and he knew enough musicians who want to help us out." She flipped through the notebook again. "I think we should meet up later this week with the others to make a scheme, to divide the tasks on the day itself." She clicked with her pen. "Oh, you know what will offer us a lot of money too? If we're doing a lottery with sponsored stuff." It might be a bit late to set it up, but Charming was a small town and everyone already knew about the fundraiser. Finding sponsors wouldn't be that hard, she hoped.

"Yes, good idea. I'm free the whole day." He ruffled his hair. "A lottery would be great, I'm sure many would join."

Grace glanced at her watch. The shops were already open. "Should we go to town now and approach the different shops?" she proposed. 

Adrian nodded and she stood up. She took her phone from the night stand and discovered that she  had an unread text message. In a flash she hoped it was Juice. Of course it wasn't, she thought with a inward sigh, they had decided not to contact each other and this time he wasn't stepping boundaries. She however still felt nervous as she opened Faye's message; they hadn't spoken since their last fight and Grace hadn't known what to say to her. She still believed in the words she had spoken to her friend. A slight smile appeared on her face as the girl told her she missed her. Grace however had to admit she was glad they hadn't seen each other, for she was sure the girl would have reminded her of Juice. Still, she hadn't forgotten about everything Faye had gone through and she still wanted to support her, despite her own messed up feelings.  _Sure_ , the texted back.  _My parents go visit some people from church tomorrow night, we'd be safe for at least two hours._

* * *

Faye felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. When she saw that it was a message from Grace, a smile formed on her lips, no matter in what situation she was right now. The last week there had been a strange feeling in her stomach because they hadn't talked.  _Sounds good, but could you  come over to Happy's house? I'll give you the address,_  she texted back.

Grace tensed as she saw Happy's name. She hadn't forgotten about his cold glance, and she still had no idea what Faye liked about him. He treated her like a toy ‒ at least, that was what Grace thought when Faye talked about them. Were they are couple now? Could that be?  _Why?_  she texted back.

 _Because my dad wants me to stay at his house until the problem with Zobelle is solved. Some blond woman tried to kidnap me, but Miles was there_ , she texted. There was no reason to lie, she was sick of lying and pretending that everything was a fairy tale.

Grace stared at her phone. What? Had her friend almost been kidnapped? And did she mean Ethan Zobelle ‒ Polly's father? No, he was always so friendly and polite, that must be based on a misunderstanding!  _I'll come over now,_ she texted back.  _I'll figure something out with my parents._  That wasn't that hard, she didn't even have to say something. Her parents would think that she was with Adrian. 

Faye stared at her phone for a few seconds. "Well, that was fast..."she murmured to herself. But was it a good time for her to show up now? What if she'd be the next target?  _Okay, but be careful please,_  she texted and put her phone away. 

 _I will._ Grace shoved back the device in her pocket and walked to Adrian, who had given her some space after he had seen that her text was serious. "Faye has almost been kidnapped," she said to him as she reached him outside her room. "I'm going to her now. Can you visit the shops by yourself?"

Adrian looked at Grace with wide eyes. "What? Kidnapped?! What is going on there?" He could have saved this question. They always had enemies, a reason why it wasn't the best idea to hang out with the club. "Yes sure, but do you really want to go there alone? I can come with you."

Grace hesitated. Kidnapping was a serious crime, but why would she be a target? She wasn't connected to the club, not like Faye, as the daughter of the President. It was clear the bikers had pissed someone off.  _Not someone,_ a voice whispered in her head.  _Zobelle. Ethan Zobelle.'_ What had been his plan? Did he just want to scare off the Sons? She didn't understand, she couldn't see how such a friendly man would do such a thing. "She texted Zobelle was behind it. Do you think she meant Polly's father or just someone with the same name?"

Adrian frowned. No, he couldn't believe that Polly's father would do such a thing. Sure, many people hid their real personality behind a mask, but Zobelle? "I don't know, maybe there is another Zobelle. But Ethan? He's way too nice for it. Why should he ruin his business and connections with things like that?"

It was a relief that Adrian thought the same about Ethan. "It has to be a coincidence," she nodded. "I think I'm good, I can't think of any reason why someone who want to hurt me, but if you feel happier about it you can come too? Or at least make sure I'll get there safe?"

"Well, you know... Juice. They could have seen you with him. But let's not talk about him, I'll get you there." He smiled briefly and got with her into his car. "As it seems, Faye is okay. At least she's not in the hospital again."

"Yes, that's a relief," she sighed, even though she started to wonder now if that really had been an accident. She sat down and fastened the seat belt. Would she really be in danger because of Juice? She couldn't imagine, they had barely been outside the clubhouse or his house together. But Polly did know about them...

Adrian parked his car in front of the house. "Want me to wait ?"

"Uhm no, I plan to stay for a while. I'll give you a call if I want to leave, then you can try to get some items for the lottery in the meantime, okay?"

"Okay sure, I'll do that. See you later." He smiled briefly and waited until she got inside. Only then he left and took care of the things they'd planned.


	37. Chapter 37

Faye was sitting on the couch with her knees pressed to her body and deep in thoughts she chewed on her fingernails, which she usually never did because her looks were too important for her. But right now she just didn't care. Someone had tried to kidnap her. Would they stop now? Probably not. Her feelings for Happy were killing her, but on the other hand she was glad to be here. 

Happy had switched his mind to club modus, so that he was no longer bothered by Faye's feelings or the strange tension that was there between them. She was sitting at the couch and staring at the tv, although he didn't believe she really saw something. She seemed still in shock by the fact that someone had not only caused a car crash by accident, but someone had tried to kidnap her now too.

His thoughts were cut off when the bell rang. Pulling his gun, he walked to the front door. The only one ringing the bell in this place, was the pizza deliverer. And he had ordered no pizza. He opened the door on a crack, looking through it. Stunned, he saw the church girl standing there, looking at him as if she was looking at Satan himself.

"The hell you doin' here?" he huffed.

Grace stared at the man with wide eyes. The look in his eyes was so cold she wanted to turn around and run away, but she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "I"m here for Faye," she said. Despite the fact that she was trying to man up, her voice was shaking. Her gaze shot to the gun his hand. It was a real gun... although it wasn't pointed at her. Would he ever have shot someone? Killed someone? Something told her he had, but at the same time she brushed off the thought. No, Faye would never fall in love with a man who killed people.

"How'd you know she was here?" he grumbled.

"How do you think," she asked a bit annoyed. "Let me in, please."

The man raised his eyebrows. For a moment she thought he would keep standing there, challenging her, but in the end he stepped aside. Grace stepped into the house, leaving behind the hallway to look for her friend. She stood up from the couch as Grace stepped into the living room.

"Hey," Grace said, giving her friend a squeezing hug.

Faye let out a soft sigh. "Hey, thank you for coming," she murmured, sitting back down on the sofa. "How are you? I didn't hear from you all week."

"Well, we didn't part in a very friendly way," Grace sighed, thinking about the fact that all their subjects had ended up in a discussion.

"We just had different opinions, that's normal. Next time we'll talk about this before we don't talk for a week or more, okay?" She looked at her friend almost desperately.

Grace agreed with a nod. "I didn't know what to say to you. But I'm good. Adrian and I are organizing a big fund raiser next week, to raise money for the orphanage we want to erect in Kenya. That took a lot of time."

"Oh, that's cool. Maybe I'll come by!" She'd love to get some distraction from all this shit.

Grace smiled. "I'd love to see you around, it's open to anyone so..." She shrugged. "But my parents are there and I'm mainly working, so we can't really hang out." She looked briefly at her friend's face, that was still pale. She didn't look good at all, there was no point in asking how she felt. "But what exactly happened to you?" she asked.

"Oh uh, a young blond woman tried to kidnap me but Miles was there to stop her."

Grace sat down on the couch. "Miles?" she asked confused. "Why? And why would someone try to kidnap you?"

"I think that my father sent him after me and this time I'm glad he did. And well, maybe someone doesn't like the club. Are you thirsty?"

Grace shook her head, even though she was. She however had a feeling that Faye was trying to turn away from important topics again ‒ and there was still something she needed to know. "You said Zobelle... It isn't Ethan Zobelle, right?"

"You know him?" Happy's deep voice sounded.

Grace startled a bit, looking over her shoulder. She had completely forgotten that he was in the same room. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the door frame.

"He's in my church, it's a very friendly man... He can't... He can't be the one who wanted to kidnap you, right? I mean... he's my friend's father."

With a sigh Happy looked at the girl. Great. This was just great. The church girl was befriended with Zobelle's kid. He glared at her, leaving a further explanation to Faye.

Faye swallowed softly. Great, now she had to tell the truth, which would give Grace more insight in the club life. But she had never expected that Grace would know Zobelle. She glanced at Happy before she turned her attention to Grace again. "Yes, I talk about Ethan Zobelle. He's not that friendly as it seems, Grace. And his daughter is probably just like him," she murmured, knowing this would probably lead to their next discussion. "You should be careful around them." Faye sighed deeply, stood up and walked over to the window to look outside.

"Do you... you think Polly was the blonde girl?" Grace asked, shaking her head in disbelief. No, that couldn't be true. She had no reason to do such a thing.

"I can't say it for sure, but it would make sense. She was my age, that would fit." The girl shrugged and bowed her head. Seems like Polly wasn't the perfect friend for a church girl either.

"I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding."

"No, it's not, Grace. They tried to kill me in a car crash, because of this Ethan guy I can't get kids anymore, and now his precious daughter tried to kidnap me because his men were too stupid for it."

"But why? Why would he want to kill you?" Her voice cracked, tears jumped into her eyes. The whole situation was upsetting her more than she had thought, the fact that the father of her friend had tried to murder her other friend was just... insane.

"I don't know, I really have no idea. But I've never done anything to him. So maybe he likes it to see people suffer? Or he judges everyone who doesn't wear a suit ? Ask him... or Polly." Maybe her words were a little harsh, but Grace was blinded by them because they seemed to be nice, because they believed in god or whatever. "But it's better if you don't mention that you know us. I'll be right back." Sighing, she went to the kitchen and got herself a glass of water.

Grace sighed, rubbing her temples because of a sudden headache. It just made no sense. She would definitely go to Polly to ask her, maybe she could help solve things. It had to be one big misunderstanding, she was sure of it. "Polly knows about Juice," she sighed as Faye got back. "But that's over, so I don't think that will be of influence."

"She knows about Juice? Perfect. Let's hope she believes it, because it isn't really over, right?" she asked softly, trying to stay calm. "But I'm glad you found a friend. Maybe she understands you better," she added quietly, sitting down on the sofa again. Maybe she sounded jealous, but she wasn't, she was just worried about Grace.

Grace shrugged, her heart feeling heavy again now she thought about Juice. "It feels like it's over," she whispered. "There's no reason Polly would think it isn't."

"And why is it over? You wanted the distance, Grace. Just call him if you miss him." She sighed, Juice still couldn't think about anyone but the blonde girl.

"I have considered that many times, but what's the point of it? We can't be together, not now." She peeked at the doorway, but saw that Happy had given them some space. "We just have to forget about each other."

"What the point of it is? Uhm... I think you know that. You can't let him wait for months, Grace. Do you have any idea how much he misses you?" She looked at her friend, but at the moment she wasn't sure if Grace was a big fan of this friendship. "If there really isn't a chance that you go back to him, just tell him right away. Otherwise it's torture for the both of you."

Her heart hurt as Faye mentioned how much Juice was missing her. Would he have told her that? Or was she just guessing? "We decided to see each other again after three months," Grace answered. "And then we will decide if we want to try to be a couple again. He knows that, he agreed with it."

"I know that he agreed, did you ever ask yourself why? Because he really likes you. But it's hard for him. He's even afraid to text you because you wanted distance." She smiled weakly and shrugged her shoulders. "But that's none of my business."

Grace raked a hand through her hair. "I know that, Faye. I know he likes me and that's why I want things to work between us. But he showed up drunk at my house, told my father very, very private things about us. He was the one ruining it. I wanted him to introduce him to my parents properly, showing him that he is a sweet and friendly man, despite his cut and tattoos. But then he just... blew it all up!" She shook her head; she was still mad about it. "What do you suggest I do? Meeting him in secret? He doesn't want to keep it secret, he already told me that. And what if my parents do find out? They'll lock me up and I have betrayed their trust forever. Taking a break, that was the only solution I could think of, so we can try again later. And I hate it, I really really hate it, but I have no choice. I just have to pull through this another eleven weeks."

"I know that he messed it up, Grace, I don't say this was you. And he knows that too. He still feels so bad about it. Since that day he is different, quieter. He's not that happy person with that goofy smile anymore," she told her, looking her in the eye. "You're twenty, your parents can't do shit. They can't lock you up. All they can do, is give you a bad feeling, they want to make you feel guilty for the most normal things. Tell me, is this how you want to live? You think those three months will change anything about their opinion about him? It won't."

"They will. They have to." Her voice trembled. "I have to believe that, okay?" Suddenly she started to cry. All this was making her so tired, Faye saying all those things about her parents, and her parents saying all those things about Juice and Faye. She just wanted them all around her, wanted to disappoint no one, wanted everyone to be happy. She bent over, burying her face in her hands. Her back hurt now it was curved, the welts stung. "I hate this. And I miss him so much, staying away from him just feels so wrong and I... I just don't know what is wrong and what is right anymore and I hate it, I hate it," she sobbed.

"No, please stop. Don't you see what this is doing to you?" Faye was mad because she just couldn't understand it, but she also felt so bad for Grace. Yes, her words were hard, but her parent's where the ones who forbid her to talk to her and Juice. Faye pulled the girl into her arms, wrapping them tightly around her. "Shh... it's okay. I'm sorry for being so brutal, but you can't only do things to make your parents happy. What feels right to  _you_ , hmm? What do  _you_ want?" she asked softly, rubbing her back gently. It felt strange as her hand glided across the fabric, but Faye couldn't tell what it was.

Her back hurt underneath Faye's touch, causing more tears in her eyes. But it reminded her of the promise she had made to live a better, purer life. "They just want what's best for me," she said quietly. "What I want?" She wanted to put her own wishes to the side, she needed to do what God wanted her to do. But Faye would never understand that. "I just want this three months to be over."

"I'm sure they want the best for you, but they don't see what makes you happy and what doesn't. I don't say your parents are bad people... but they have to let you make your own decisions," she explained with a soft voice. "Maybe... if you want, I can bring Juice with me to the fundraiser. Only if you want. If not, I promise to keep him away," she offered the girl. Faye just wanted to help, but she had no idea how she could help Grace. 

"No..." she said with a shaky voice. "No he can't... he can't be around. I can't... I can't deal with that." 

"Okay, that's okay, I won't bring him," she assured her and she really wouldn't do it, this would only cause more problems. "Hey, you okay? What's wrong with your back? It feels... strange," she asked carefully as she kept rubbing her friend's back. The tears were still coming. Grace just seemed so desperate and sad that it almost scared her.

She flinched again under Faye's touch. "I fell from the stairs," she muttered, "yesterday."

She pulled her hand back as Grace flinched. "What? Did you let a doctor check on you? But... you're not lying to me, right?" Faye was a bit skeptical. Maybe Grace said the truth, but falling down the stairs would give her bruises and she definitely felt something else under the fabric.

Her skeptical look made Grace sweat. What should she say? Lying was forbidden, but she couldn't tell her that she was hurting herself. She felt too ashamed of that for she knew Faye would never understand. "No I just slipped when I went downstairs," she said, a little agitated.

Faye looked at Grace and she had the feeling that she was lying to her, but she didn't want to sound rude and ask more questions. "Okay.." she nodded briefly. "Do you want to stay a little longer? Or do you have to go?"

"Ehm, I have to help Adrian with some preparations for the fundraiser," she answered. "We were just on our way to do that when you texted me." It wasn't a lie; they had really been doing that, even though she just felt uncomfortable around her friend after the difficult conversations they had had. "Sorry."

"Oh, I wish you could stay a little longer, but that's okay. Just have a little fun with Adrian and don't think too much, okay?" She smiled briefly and kissed her cheek. She really wanted this friendship to work, even if it still felt difficult. "Thanks again for stopping by."

Grace smiled, but her lips were still trembling. She had the feeling she could start crying any moment and decided to go home instead of going in town with Adrian. "How eh, do you feel about... being here?" she asked before she left, feeling bad because there was so much emphasis on her feelings while she'd come here for Faye. "With him?"

"I want to run away... far away. It's so hard to stay away from him, but I have to accept how it is," she told Grace, swallowing softly. "But at least they don't forbid me to work." Because if she'd be twenty four hours around Happy, she would go crazy.

Grace gave her hug. "I really hope you'll find someone else soon," she said. "Someone who's really into you too."

"Yeah, maybe." Faye also hugged her friend and smiled weakly. No, she'd never find someone like Happy, but she had to, she knew Grace was right. "Thanks."

Grace said goodbye to Faye and left the house. Instead of giving Adrian a call, she decided to walk home. Google Maps told her it was at least a 30 minutes walk, but she wanted to be alone for a while, focusing her thoughts and coming clean with herself. The first hours of the day it had been quiet in her head; the pain had absorbed all thoughts, but now she had spoken about Juice again, it felt like their was an itching inside her skull and she just couldn't scratch.

* * *

Happy had been sitting on the stairs in the hallway, waiting until Grace would leave again. Luckily it didn't take long. "What's going on?" he asked as he walked into the living room again, seeing Faye's face. It was clear that she was upset.

"Nothing, just a rough time," she answered and she tried to smile, but it was hard to fake happiness all the time. "I think I'll go get some sleep until I have to work. You don't have to watch me all the time, there are prospects out there." Of course she would feel safer with him, but she needed to stay away from that man.

"Yea, not gonna hand your life to the hands of a prospect," he snorted. "There's a reason they're not patched in yet."

"I think they are smart enough and know how to pull the trigger, right?" This time she gave him a real smile. "Thank you." Faye hugged him tightly. Of course she'd love to feel his lips, his touch, but right now she just wanted to say thank you. After a few seconds she let go of him and laid down on the couch to get some sleep.

Happy had never seen the prospects shoot, so he had no idea how good they were at aiming. He however didn't want to worry her and just nodded, a little overwhelmed as she suddenly hugged him. He didn't know what to say, so he sat down in a chair and played with his knife while watching her trying to fall asleep.


	38. Chapter 38

Faye had spent the past days at Happy's house, just like her father wanted her to. It wasn't so bad at all. Sure, it was still hard but she decided to do her best to have a good friendship with him, that's why she hadn't tried anything to get him into bed again. Every evening he brought her to work because she didn't just want to sit around like a prisoner. Jay, her colleague, was the one who showed her everything, who introduced her to the other two colleagues and who cheered her up when he noticed that she wasn't in the best mood. It was a really nice guy and Faye was glad she didn't had to work with assholes around her. Right now she had a shift again and mixed some easy cocktails behind the bar, she couldn't do the super fancy ones yet. 

"You like this job so far?" Jay asked curiously.   
  
"Yeah, it's great. I mean, I miss the kindergarten, but this is also fun," she answered with a sweet smile. Her shift would be over soon anyway, she had only five minutes left. 

"I'm glad you found your way to us," Jay chuckled softly and he took care of the guests again. 

* * *

Juice spent the last days with a lot of work. He needed the distraction to forget about Grace ‒ but it didn't work. It was like everything reminded him of her. Faye had called him to tell that Grace and Polly were friends, and he didn't like that. Maybe Polly seemed nice, but she wasn't. But he couldn't just call Grace and tell her to stay away from Zobelle's daughter, that would just scare her or piss her off. 

He was often close to texting her, calling her or showing up at her work, but he also knew that that would destroy everything again, keeping him from doing it. How was he supposed to wait for such a long time? It was torture at its finest. Faye had told him about the day when Grace had been at Happy's house, how sad she had been, which made him feel even worse.

* * *

Grace started to wish they had never moved to Charming. It was all just too much; the unstoppable thoughts about Juice, her forbidden friendship with Faye, the tension at home, the fear that Polly had really wanted to hurt her friend... She just didn't know where to go to with all her feelings, it felt like nobody truly understood her. Even God was silent. She hadn't dared to whip herself again, since Faye had noticed the wounds. Instead, she was piercing herself with needles in her thigh, just small clusters of almost invisible wounds that only bled for a few minutes. The pain was short, it was no constant reminder, but for now it helped a little to keep her thoughts focused. 

It was Saturday night, and Polly had asked her to come over to watch a movie. Grace had agreed, and as they were sitting on the couch, she decided to ask the truth about Faye. "You know I'm friends with Faye, right?" she asked. 

The girl's eyes shot to the side, she frowned her eyebrows in a silent question. 

"She told me you tried to kidnap her." She felt nervous, she could no longer look her friend in the eye and bowed her head, staring at her hands. 

Polly let out a cynical laugh. "Oh yeah? And you believe that?" 

"I don't want to believe it," she muttered. "But she's pretty sure about it. Says your dad and hers have some problems." 

"Well that's certainly true. Those bikers ruined my father's shop a few days ago and they killed a work associate of my father because he had been in a car accident with the President's daughter. That was just a stupid coincidence." 

Grace tensed. "W-what? They killed someone?" 

The girl looked up, there was a hateful glare in her eyes. "You really have no idea what horrible things they do, huh? All of them?" Suddenly there was a grim expression on her face. "You know what? Your biker friend is right. We tried to kidnap her, tried to lure those assholes out of their stinking hole." 

Grace flinched. "W-what?" 

"Yeah. I've been raped by one of them, okay?" she said through gritted teeth. "Happy to hear the truth? My father wanted to make them pay, wanted them to deliver that pig to us." 

Grace covered her mouth with her hand. "W-what?" It felt like it was the only word that she could still remember. "Who – who did that? When?" 

"A few days before you came here. I don't know his name, he's a creep with tattoos everywhere, even on his head." She was silent for a while why Grace's eyes went wide. "No, I don't mean the guy you were dating."

Grace almost wished she had mentioned Juice, for then she would have known the girl was lying. About who was she talking? She hadn't seen a lot of Sons, but at least Happy had tattoos on his head. A shiver crept down her spine. She could see him do something like that, if she was honest. He was just... not all right. She felt it all the time when he was around. 

"But Faye... she's innocent..." 

"We were never going to hurt her. I just wanted that guy dead. She was just leverage." Polly sighed. "I know they are showering you with attention, Grace, but they are outlaws. They hurt people." She shook her head. "They even hurt you. I have never seen you smile ever since you broke up with that guy. Just be happy your relationship lasted just a few hours. He won't ever make you happy. Their life will destroy you." 

Grace bent her head, blinking away the tears. Was she right? She didn't want to believe her – but why would she lie?

* * *

The day of the fundraiser arrived. The day before there had been so many preparations that Grace had been dead tired last night, sleeping without waking up until her alarm clock went off. Grace left the bed and started to dress herself in a jeans and a top that showed the name of their project. She felt nervous. Would all their efforts be rewarded? What if nobody showed up? If they had forgotten important things? And there were other, more personal worries. What if Faye and Polly came across each other? She still didn't know what to think of the situation. She had considered to tell Adrian wat Polly had told her, but it hadn't felt right. She didn't want to spread rumors about Happy being a rapist if she wasn't 100% sure of it, and if she was honest there was still something off with Polly. She just had a bad feeling about it. However, she couldn't forget about the words she had spoken, they had nestled in her head. Was it true? Had they killed a man – the man who had caused Faye's car accident? Had Juice known about that – had he been there? And Faye? How had she felt about it? Had she wanted this revenge – had she wanted to take a life because she would never give birth? But it had been an accident, right? Everyone could have been in that car... Grace pushed away the thoughts, focusing on the day itself, the money with which they could finance an orphanage, the many children that would find shelter, food... That was what this day was about. Everything else were worries for later.

Adrian and Grace had made sure there were volunteers at every activity or boot, not having fixed tasks themselves so they could jump in whenever they were needed. They had transformed the plaza in front of the church into a fair and the weather was good. 

"There are so many people!" she said with a smile to Adrian. 

Everything went well, they hadn't crossed any problems. She was holding a pile of lots in her hand, which they had to sell. Within half an hour the first lottery round would start. Suddenly she heard the rumbling of bikes. Immediately her heart leaped into her throat. She shouldn't be surprised – Faye had told her she would be there, but her eyes went wide as she saw that at least ten Sons walked up the lot, all walking around like they owned the place. A lot of people were glaring at them, and she could feel the aversion of some people from her church, which made her feel ashamed. They were just here to sponsor the event, right? Or would they be here to mess things up? 

Suddenly her eye caught Juice, who was looking around. "Oh no," she said, holding her breath, feeling how she almost paralyzed. In a reflex she grabbed Adrian's hand. She had been so convinced that Juice wouldn't show up that she had the feeling her knees could collapse any moment.

Adrian looked at their hands, his lips parted but he didn't say anything. Instead he looked in the same direction, sighing as he saw Juice. "Just relax, we wanted to have fun today, right?" He looked back at Grace, smiling.

Juice froze when he saw Grace, holding hands with Adrian. What kind of shit was this? Were they a thing now? Was that why she wanted the distance? No, she would have been honest, she hated lies. But it pissed him off, he had to admit that to himself.  _Just ignore it_ , he thought. If he would mess this up today, they would never have a chance together. Slowly, he walked over to them. 

"Hey, you two did a great job," he said as friendly as he could, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Grace's eyes shot around, knowing her parents were around. "What ‒ what are you doing here?" she asked bluntly. She didn't look him in the eye, she just couldn't. Adrian let go of her hand and she noticed that her fingers were shaking. Quickly she pressed them together.

"Gemma wanted to come here and it's an event for everyone, right? Is there a problem? Maybe you two wanted to enjoy the time alone?" He glared at Adrian before Grace got his attention again. "I actually just wanted to know if you were okay, so, how are you?" Juice tried to look into her eyes, but it seemed like she couldn't.

There was an angry tone in his voice, which she understood. She couldn't forbid him to go to a public place like this, but... she just wished she could have prepared herself for this. "I'm fine," she said shortly. But she wasn't. She felt weak, she wanted to feel his arms around her. She just wanted to be alone with him, wanted to forget about everything else. Crossing her arms, she buried her nails in the skin underneath the short sleeves and scratched herself. "Please go, Juice," she whispered, without looking at him, again close to tears. "Just go." She knew he couldn't just leave; all his brothers were here and he would never admit that a girl had sent him away. But it was the only thing that slipped her lips.

Adrian looked around, Grace's parents were close to them but they hadn't seen Juice and Grace yet. He didn't want his friend to get into trouble, so he decided to distract them with an interesting conversation and left the two alone. 

Juice watched Adrian leave, not sure if he left because he felt uncomfortable or because he couldn't stand him. Whatever, now he had the chance to talk alone to Grace. "You want me to leave? And what do I tell the others? I promised Gemma to stay here." His voice sounded much colder than before. He was hurt. He understood that she was still mad, but if he'd leave now, it wouldn't be better after three months. "What is your problem? I'm not doing anything. I just wanted to see you."

"I can't see you," she answered, tears gathering in her eyes. "Don't you get it? It hurts to see you, Juice. I... The past two weeks were hard, really hard, and I missed you more than you can ever know, but it's still better... It's still beter than seeing you and not being able to touch you or look at you or..." she took a deep breath, trying to control herself. Quickly she wiped the tears from her face, looking around. "I can't cry here," she sniffed. She started to walk to the church, not really caring if he was following her or not, she just needed a minute away from everyone and she had the keys to every room.

Juice followed her, but he gave her a few moments to get a clear mind again. After that, he grabbed her arm and turned her into his direction. "I know, Grace. It hurts me too. Do you think I don't miss you? I do, I really do. And I mean it." He sighed deeply, pulling his hand back. It hurt him to see her like that, he wanted to comfort her, pull her into his arms. "We shouldn't do this three months thing, it'll only make it harder for the both of us and you know that."

Grace looked around before answering, since there were still people near. She walked further, opened the door where she was keeping the prizes for the lottery and locked the door as he was inside, so that she was sure no one would find them. With a sigh she sat down at the table, looking at his hopeless face. He was right. This was breaking the both of them. "You're right," she sighed.

Juice leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets again. "I know," he replied, nodding. "So, what are we gonna do about it? Live our own lives or give it a chance? I just want to know it, I'm not mad if you chose the first option." And that was the truth, he wouldn't be mad; just hurt.

She let out a long sigh, thinking about her parents. "How do you picture the second?"

"I don't know. You know my opinion about it. I don't want to hide, that's not how I want to have a relationship. But if this is the only chance to have you around me... I'd do it." Juice stepped closer to her, sitting down on the table too.

Grace bent her head. Keeping a relationship secret from her parents... It was wrong, it wasn't something that God would want from her. "I don't want to hide it either. I don't think I can." She chewed on her bottom lip. "So I guess... I guess we should just live our own lives."

Juice scratched his neck and swallowed. "Okay, if that's what you really want, I have to accept it ‒ and I will. But please don't change your mind and come back to me after a few months, because this will probably happen again," he told her, his voice firm. He couldn't let her play with his feelings, and he should stop forcing her into something. "So then... it's completely over?"

His question kept racing through her mind. Over... Did she really want this to be over? What if it was a mistake, what if she would regret it later? He was right, she couldn't come back later. She bent her head, burying her face in her hands, trying to fight off the tears. She thought about all the things Faye had said, about finding her own happiness. "I don't know," she whispered. "I just don't know what to do anymore."

"I want to hear a yes or a no, Grace. I mean, it can't be that hard as it seems we be both want this, but you can't and I won't force you to anything." Juice chewed on the inside of his cheek. Seeing her so desperate wasn't easy for him at all. "Think about it again, I'm probably here the whole day," he told her, pulling her closer and into his arms. After a while he took a step back and cupped her face. "But I don't want to see you sad, I wanna see your beautiful smile today, even if I'm not the reason for it." He smiled weakly.

Grace knew she wouldn't smile again today. Nor the week, or even month after. Not if she let him go. She leaned into the palm of his hand, his skin felt warm. She slid off the table so she could hug him, she wanted to feel his arms around her, just one last time... She buried her face against his shoulder, her arms slid around him and her fists clenched around the hem of his leather cut. Right through their layers of clothes, she could feel his heartbeat. She thought back to that evening on his couch, when their bodies had been pressed together without a piece of clothe between their stomachs. It was the last time she had felt happy. "Please, just hold me a little longer," she whispered.

Juice swallowed and wrapped his arms around her body to pull her even closer. His chin rested on her head, his eyes closed. At least she was the one who hugged him again. But was it a goodbye? Right now he didn't want to think about it. All he wanted to think about was the girl he was holding in his arms. "I won't leave," he whispered.

Grace breathed in deeply, taking in his scent. Swallowing, she looked up to him, to his confused eyes that were dying for an answer. Leaning into him, she caressed his cheek and reached out for his lips. One more time, she told herself. She wanted to lose herself one more time to him, give herself one lasting memory of her first love before she had to put an end to this.

Feeling her breath on his skin gave him a warm feeling, the feeling he always had when she was with him. How was he supposed to let her go? Now that he really was in love with a girl for the first time in his life, he couldn't even have her. As she came closer, he pressed his lips on hers. Even before he touched her lips, it was enough to make him want to fight for this girl.

As soon as his lips brushed hers, she just wanted to forget about everything else. Leaning with her head against his forehead, she listening to his breathing, only to his breathing.  _Follow your heart,_  she said to herself.  _Step back from him ‒ and if you can't... then fight for him._ And she couldn't step away, on the contrary, she leaned into him, kissing his lips more fiercely, hungry; all those days without him just turned into a passion she could no longer control. She laid a hand against his neck, with the other she pulled him closer. She sighed softly as he answered her kiss, as he gave her what she had been longing for ever since that day that she walked away from his house.

His hands let go of her face, instead they were now resting on her hips. The kiss turned into a passionate and lustful kiss. Juice lifted her up and put her down on the table, placing himself between her legs and pulling her closer again. His breathing got faster, and so did his heartbeat. "I won't give up on you, sorry," he whispered against her lips.

Grace pressed her knees against his hips as he stood between her legs, her hands moving up to his chest. His words touched her, and she whispered: "I don't want you to give up on me."

"Well, that's good to know." He smiled briefly and leaned with his forehead against hers, looking her in the eye. He was still a little out of breath. "So, it's okay if I'm staying, hmm?" 

Grace nodded silently. Her thumb stroked his lips as she kept looking at him. "I really missed you. And I... I'm sorry, Juice. I know I asked a lot from you."

He gave her a warm smile and shrugged. "It's okay. I think no other girl would've given me another chance after I messed up more than just one thing. We both can do it better now," he whispered, running his thumb across her hip. 

"Well, then they would have been very stupid," she muttered. She caught his hand as it ran across her thigh and laced her fingers with his. It was probably better to go back outside, but on the other hand; Adrian knew what to do and she just wanted to be alone with Juice a little longer.

Juice pulled her back into his arms.  "But we shouldn't tell your parents today, huh? Don't wanna ruin the fair. You and Adrian did a great job." He cleared his throat and looked at her a little awkwardly. "I'm sorry for acting like a jealous boyfriend. But as I saw you two holding hands..."

"I was just so shocked to see you that I needed to hold him," she said with a slight blush. "And I was too wrapped up in my own feelings to notice that you were acting jealous." She brushed his jawline, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Adrian is great... but he's not you." With her other hand she played with his fingers. 

"For a moment I was afraid that there was more... but I guess there wasn't." He smiled, caressing her cheek with his thumb. Her finding another guy had been his biggest fear. 

"No, there wasn't. I would have told you if I fell for someone else, remember? But you were the only one I could think about, Juice. And Adrian knows that." 

"Right, you told me..." he nodded, remembering her words. 

She stroked both of his hands and moved her fingers higher, caressing his arms, his shoulders, up to his neck. "About my parents... I think we should stick to the old plan and not telling them within the next couple of weeks. We'll just have to find ways to see each other, don't you think?"

 "Yeah, we can do that. I think that's the best for now, even if I hate the thought to hide," he replied honestly, enjoying her touches. Everything she did just felt so good.

"It will be difficult," she admitted, "and there will be days that keeping the truth from them will break me."

"I know, I think it'll never be easy. But I don't want to be the reason why you're broken, Grace. Faye already told me how sad you were when you visited her."

Grace dropped her eyes. "I was a wreck, the past two weeks," she admitted. "It just felt so... unfair that I couldn't be with the people I care about." She leaned back at the table, her hands spread on the table. "I think I'm going to tell them I want contact with Faye again. She's going through a tough time and she needs me, I feel like they would understand. So if they agree with that... things should become easier for us too."

"I wish you would've called me. Maybe I wouldn't have been a big help... but... I don't know," he answered and again he swallowed. But yeah, it was unfair, all of it. They just wanted to be happy together ‒ but it was his fault, he said all those things to her father.

"I wanted to call you, text you... but I thought keeping our distance was the only way." She sighed, feeling stupid now. With her ankle she rubbed against his lower leg, she just needed to touch him.

"Maybe I just should've send you a text or something... to make you feel better. But I wanted to respect your wish." He sighed deeply, running his fingertips up and down her arms. 

"No, it's good you didn't," she sighed. "Maybe I just needed this. To realize how much I lo- like you," she said with a blush on her cheeks. She looked at her arm, where his touches were causing goosebumps. "I feel... It's just that I felt numb all those days without you but now..." Her arms snaked around his chest and she pulled him closer in a hug, still sitting on the table and he standing in front of her. "Now I feel so much," she whispered.

Juice smirked briefly. "I really like you too," he whispered against her ear, trailing soft kisses down her jaw ‒ not in a sexual way at all. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "I know how you felt, wasn't different for me," Juice admitted. It wasn't a secret that he had also felt sad. He ran his fingers through her curls, inhaling her scent. 

Grace wanted to slip her hands underneath his shirt, wanted to feel his warm, soft skin, but she knew she had to go back. "I think I should go back outside," she sighed. "Although I'd rather stay here with you." Forgetting about everything else, that was what she wanted to do. To no longer worry about her parents, no longer worry about the things Polly had said about Happy and the club... she just want to pretend that everything was perfect ‒ but deep down she knew the situation was anything but perfect.

Juice nodded briefly. He had known that this moment would come, and before she got into any trouble with her parents, he needed to let her go. "Okay, you go back and maybe we have a little more time later again, hmm?" He put two fingers under her chin, raising her head a little and kissing her gently. 

"Yes, I'll fix that," she said, pecking his lips. Her hand stroked his side as she walked to the door and unlocked it. "You should go first, I'll wait a little longer and get this stuff to the lottery." She pointed at the boxes that were standing against the wall.

"If you need help, just look for me," he said, pressing one last kiss on her forehead. Of course she wouldn't ask for help, that was impossible, but he still wanted to offer her his help. "See you." Juice smiled before he left the room and went back to his brothers.

 


	39. Chapter 39

Faye still spent her time with Happy, and so far there had been no news about Zobelle. Her father and Jax thought they had to do it in a smart way ‒ which wasn't stupid. But slowly, she had the feeling that she was watched all the time and it drove her crazy.

But today she could finally relax a bit; Gemma wanted all the Sons to go to the event. Faye had asked her colleague if he wanted to come along, and he had agreed. Maybe it was wrong to give him false hopes, but she knew Jay liked her and he would be the perfect distraction.  
  
After she finished showering, she dried her hair and a few minutes later it curled across her shoulders. Then she put on a short light yellow dress and her white sneakers.  
  
"I'm done, we can go," she said to Happy after she had came out of the bathroom. She was cautious not to look him in the eye since she was here. "Juice texted me earlier, the others are already there," she explained as she quickly applied her eyeliner and mascara in front of the mirror in the hallway.

"Okay, good." 

They left the house. The situation was a bit more relaxed between them; the past days they hadn't kissed or slept together and Happy started to believe that the worst was over. He gave Faye a helmet and sat down on his bike.

She shook her head as he held out the helmet. "Jay picks me up any second, we'll stay close, I promise," she mumbled. She just couldn't sit behind him and wrap her arms around him, this would make everything worse. That's why she had asked Jay to pick her up.

"Fine," he answered shortly. He however wasn't too happy about it; why didn't she want to come with him? Were her feelings still in the way? He'd hoped that she had gotten over them. Or was she actually forgetting about him, had she an interest in a new guy? For some reason he didn't like that either. Happy looked suspicious at that Jay-guy as he picked Faye up. She had told him it was her colleague, but he still had a bad feeling about it. It could just be one of Zobelle's puppets and he decided to ask Juice if he could look into the guy.

* * *

Happy didn't like fairs, but he had to admit it looked organized and the place was crowded. He was standing on the side, smoking a cigarette, while looking at some kids that were tuning their instruments on the stage. Regularly, his wandered off to Faye to see where she was, to make sure she was safe. He had seen Zobelle's daughter behind one of the food trucks, but right now he could do nothing, even though he wanted to beat the shit out of her. His eyes shot from the blonde girl to the redhead, who was smiling and having fun with her collegae. They were obviously flirting and he should be glad about it, but he just wasn't. He just didn't like the site of them together and she could surely get better than him.

* * *

Faye spent the whole time together with Jay and they already checked out the whole place. They however she didn't see Grace or Juice, which could be a good sign. Maybe they had found a quiet place to talk. A smile formed on her lips as she thought about that.

"Am I the reason for that pretty smile on your face?" Jay asked, grinning.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but no." She chuckled softly. She tried to relax and it worked, just not completely. Polly and Zobelle were around, how could she ever be relaxed?

Jay pouted playfully before he handed her a drink from one of the stands. He picked at her hair while listening to the first band that entered the stage. From the corner of his eyes he looked at her pretty face. She wasn't totally relaxed, she never was it seemed since he met her, but maybe that was normal for being part of a biker world. Maybe they always had to be suspicious, alert. He didn't know much about the Sons, but he never liked them much and just like the rest of town he knew they were outlaws, making him wonder if she had a criminal record to. "You living among these bikers... did that ever made you do anything... stupid?" he asked with a grin.

She turned her head so she could face Jay. "Stupid things? I've done enough stupid things as a teenager," she answered with a grin, but she knew exactly what he meant. "We aren't so different from others, Jay. But no, I've never done something stupid, nothing big at least. I'm a nice, boring girl," she smirked, turning towards him completely.

Jay shrugged. "I know those guys have criminal records. Thought you might have one to." He moved his eyebrows up and down. "Kinda got a thing for bad girls."

"Oh, is that so?" she chuckled. "Well, I only was once or twice arrested because I stole something. Told you I did stupid things when I was a teenager." 

"What did you steal?" he wanted to know. 

"One time I stole cigarettes, the other time clothes. I mean, I had the money, but we all had those friends around who you're trying to be cool, right?" She looked up at him, a small grin on her face. "What about you? You ever got arrested?"

"I'm only arrested for stupid things," he laughed. "Running around town naked after losing a bet and hitting on a cop when I was drunk."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "The cop thing... okay, can happen. But you really ran naked around town? Too bad I wasn't there!"

He smirked. "Bet some videos still float on the internet. It shouldn't be that hard to find." He winked.

"Oh, I definitely will check it out. Or you just do it again some time," she joked. "Want another drink?"

"Maybe if you join me," he teased, then he nodded. "Yeah, a drink is fine."

"Oh you have to get me hella drunk if you want me to join you. Except when we're alone," she grinned. It was easy to flirt with him, maybe because she wasn't in love and acting like an idiot or a horny whore. 

Faye got them two more drinks, her eyes wandered around.

* * *

A few minutes after Juice had left the room, Grace did the same with a box in her arms. They had hired a wheel of fortune to do the lottery with, and she laid down the prices of the first round on the table. It didn't take long before she felt Adrian's presence and she looked up to him, a smile adorning her face. "Thank you," she whispered. "For distracting my parents."

Adrian smiled mischievously as he saw Grace smiling. "Seems like someone is a little more happy again," he said. "It's good to see you smile. Your parents didn't notice a thing by the way."

"Okay good," she gloated. She peeked at her watch, it was time for the first round. "You want me to do the first round?" Speaking to an audience made her nervous, but she knew she could do it.

Adrian scratched his neck, nodding. "Yeah, if you want. I always get nervous doing such things." He laughed briefly. "But I promise I'll do the next round." 

Grace gathered her courage, took the microphone and announced that the first round was about to start. People swarmed around them and her eyes wandered across the audience. Her parents stood in the middle, looking unbelievably proud and she smiled to them while thanking everyone for coming and giving a description of the project where the money would go to. Right after that, she picked up one of the prices, a dinner cheque at one of Charming's restaurants and nodded to Adrian so he could spin the wheel.

Grace's father was proud that his daughter had organized such a big event. There were a lot of people and everything was well regulated. He looked at his wife, who had a tensed expression on her face while she stared a bit to the right. As he followed her gaze, he saw the group of bikers. The man that had shown up drunk at their door, stood a little to the side, watching his daughter with a smile on his face. He looked proud, as if he knew Grace wasn't very comfortable speaking to crowds. There was a look of admiration on his face, and he remembered what the man had told him, that night in the car. He had told him that she was amazing, caring, sweet, had a big heart and he that should be proud of her. He had focused so much on the man's filthy talk that those sentences had slipped his mind, but suddenly he remembered them again. He knew Grace had had two difficult weeks. He had seen the empty look in her eyes. Now her face was shining, she was smiling, and although he had thought that was because of the success of the event, he had a feeling that seeing that tattooed man also had a big influence on how she was feeling. He sighed softly, wondering if he should have done things differently. His eyes wandered to his wife again, whose face was still grim. He nudged her elbow, so she looked away from the group of bikers. Contrary to Grace, he knew that the biker reminded his wife of a dark period in her own life, by which she had made a mistake that she had regretted the rest of her life. In an effort to distract her, he kissed her cheek. "Just enjoy the day, my love," he said. "You can't chase the man away, just be happy those men want to help our daughter to built an orphanage," he winked.

Juice stood aloof from the others just because he had a better view of Grace. He didn't want to approach her too much, otherwise he might cause trouble with her parents. On his face there was a contented smile all the time as he looked at the blonde girl and just listened to her. 

"Hey, you're staring at her," he heard Faye say and he looked at her for a moment. 

She grinned. "I suppose it went well between you two, huh?" she asked softly. 

"Yeah, I think it went pretty well, but we still have to be careful about her parents. I just have to accept that," he replied with a shrug. 

When Faye looked into their direction, she smiled and waved. 

"Why are you waving at her parents? I thought they didn't want you anywhere near Grace either," he said confused, looking at his best friend and raising an eyebrow. 

"I know, but I just hope they give me a chance when I'm friendly. In addition, Grace will be happy if we try to get along with her parents. But you better just stay here quietly," she advised him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Then she disappeared again so that her date wasn't alone. 

Adrian did the first rounds with Grace and tried to help her as good as he could. Her parents looked proud, well, her father. Her mom kinda had a grim face but she tried to smile once in a while. "You're good in this," he said to Grace. 

"Thanks," she said with a smile. Talking things out with Juice however had just given her wings, she felt amazing. Adrian decided to take a break while Grace and another girl tried to sell the lots for the next round. She watched the other girl for a while, who walked with a wide berth around the bikers. Grace chuckled softly and walked up to them. "I know you like to bet guys," she said. "So come on, I got lots of these to sell." She waved with the pile of papers with numbers on it. "It's for a good cause."

As Grace came over to them, Gemma broke away from Clay and gave Grace a warm smile. "Just give us a few, sweetheart. That's why we're here. For the good cause." Gemma replied, taking  money out of her pocket. 

"And I want some too," Juice joined the little round but he only had eyes for Grace.

Their fingers touched as she took the money and gave Juice the lots and for a moment their eyes locked. She however felt her mother's stare in her back, so she gave him a quick smile and turned towards the prospects. "Come on, of all people you have some making up to do." 

With a guilty grin Kip bought a few lots, and the other two followed. She looked briefly at Miles, whose face was were back to normal. She still didn't feel very comfortable around him. 

Juice couldn't keep his eyes off her. All he wanted to do was spend time with her, enjoying the fair, but he noticed Grace's parents who looked into their direction. He had actually thought that her father would be the super pissed one, but he looked more relaxed than her mother. 

"You know what, give us all a bit more of them," he pointed at the lots. 

After a glare from him, Miles took a few more lots, as did the other Sons. 

"Oh she knows how to wrap you all around her finger," Gemma said, smiling. 

Grace smiled briefly, thanked them and walked to the next group of people, all though most of the lots were gone now. She looked around to see if Faye was around too; she hadn't seen the girl yet, but she couldn't find her this quick. She walked back to Adrian, who was eating a sandwich and sat down next to him, tapping on his knee. "Everything goes well, hmm?" she smiled.

Adrian put his sandwich away and smiled. "Thanks to you! I think the people love you. It's like you're made for this," he grinned briefly. Sure, he knew that she was actually more the shy, quiet girl, but today she really did a great job.

"I have to admit I'm proud of myself," she said with a slight grin. "And I'm proud of you too. Without you, none of this would have happened." She leaned with her head against his shoulder. "You're a great friend, Adrian. I know I wasn't the easiest the past days."

He put an arm around her shoulder. "Hey, I understand why. You were sad, and now you aren't anymore and I'm glad about that. I'm not a big fan of Juice, but it seems like he's the only one who can make you smile." 

She smiled a bit sadly and looked at him. "What exactly is it what you don't like about him? You can be honest, I know he has his rough edges." She knew it wouldn't change how she felt about Juice; if he had done really bad things Adrian would have told her that before. She was just curious and after all, Adrian was a good friend and Juice her... boyfriend. Her cheeks flushed at the thought; she only realized by now that they were really going to fight for each other.

"I don't know, I really don't. I just don't like the way how they handle things and all that. Juice isn't even a bad guy at all I think, but they all probably did things we don't even want to know," he replied, trying to sound nice, but the Sons were a topic he didn't like much. "But it seems that he can make you happy, that's what counts, right?" 

Grace shrugged. About what kind of things was he talking? Juice himself had also said that he was a criminal ‒ why did he think that? She however didn't ask her questions to Adrian, she rather talked about it with Juice one day. "That depends on the things they do," she said softly. 

* * *

Jay let his fingers slip up and down Faye's arm to attract her attention, since she had been staring forward for a while. "Is there anything you want to do?" he asked, pointing to the different activities.

Faye bit her lower lip, looking around. "I don't know. How about we do all of it? Except the bouncy castle, we're too old for that," she chuckled.

"Oh come on, nothing is more fun than a bouncy castle!" Jay pouted.

"You really wanna do this? Okay fine." She grabbed his hand, let her fingers slide between his and dragged him to the bouncy castle.

Jay showed her a wide grin and took off his shoes. "Playtime is over, kiddo's," he said to the few kids. "Just a wait a minute outside." 

Faye raised an eyebrow, watching all the kids leave the bouncy castle. Laughing, he pulled her into the bouncy castle and started to jump. "We just kicked kids out of here, we're cruel," she laughed softly.

"What do you think? Wouldn't I be a bad ass biker?" he smirked. 

"Totally! Kicking kids out of a bouncy castle would make you the most bad ass biker in town," she winked.

Jay tried to jump higher. He bounced against the wall and stumbled, where after Faye tripped over his feet and fell on top of him. She laughed, trying to get up again, but he wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her close and as she turned her face towards him, he kissed her.

For a moment Faye tried to forget everything, which worked pretty well as she kissed him back. She however started to laugh as she heard a few kids yelling 'Eww!'.

Jay chuckled as he sat up again. "Hope you paid close attention, kiddo's. One day you'll benefit from it." He winked at a couple of parents that were standing aside, not knowing if they should send them away or not. He took Faye's hand and with wobbly steps they left the bouncing castle.

* * *

Happy had gritted his teeth without realizing. He had seen them go into the bouncing castle, had seen how they kissed... For some reason it really pissed him off and he wanted to give the guy a good beat up. He however kept his face straight, pretending he hadn't seen their kiss and was just keeping an eye on her surroundings, as was told him to do.

* * *

Faye hit him playfully and shook her head in amusement. "Stop or their parents will kick us out of here." Faye followed him outside the bouncy castle and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Seems like you're a funny one. I like it," she whispered in his ear, the grin still on her lips.

"Hmm, I like you whispering things in my ear," he said with a crooked smile, giving her a wink.

"Yeah, I bet you do." She gave him a sweet smile. "Hey uhm... can I stay at your apartment tonight? Don't worry, I'll take the couch." She didn't want to be watched anymore, it annoyed her even if it was for her own safety. And being around Happy 24/7 just hurt her ‒ it was torture. 

"Eh, sure," he said. "I don't mind to share the bed either. I can keep my hands above the blankets," he joked. "But why?"

"Can you? Well, I guess then we can share a bed," she chuckled. What should she tell him? The truth? Could she trust him? Probably she could. "First someone tried to hurt me, or kill me, who knows. I was in hospital for days. And over a week ago this blonde girl," she pointed at Polly "tried to kidnap me. And since then I have my own bodyguards and I just need one night alone, you know? I just need to breathe," she sighed softly, looking away. "I'm sorry to pull you into this... but you're the only person I can stay around without five other people around."

Jay's eyes widened in shock as he heard Faye's words. He looked over his shoulder to the girl Faye had mentioned and frowned. If someone had tried to kidnap him, there was no way he could have been this easy as Faye was. "That's tough man." He wrapped an arm around her. "Sure, you can stay the night with me. But your bodyguards, will they agree?" He had his doubts.

"Thank you, that's really nice of you," she smiled briefly. "Nope, they won't, which means... I just have to leave without them knowing."

Jay shook his head. "No, I can't do that? What if something happens to you while you're with me? I'm not a muscled biker that will beat the shit out of them."

"Pleeease, Jay. They won't let me go. Not one of these people will know that I left with you. Believe me, nothing will happen," she looked at him pleadingly.

"Hell no," Jay shook his head. "I don't wanna get lynched because the biker princess has disappeared."

Faye closed her eyes, sighing. "Okay... then it won't work because they won't allow it. But thanks anyways..." She smiled weakly.

Jay squeezed her shoulder. "Wish I could have helped. You're always welcome when you no longer need to be guarded." He winked.

"Oh, I'm not sure if my dad will ever let me out without bodyguards again. But thanks for the offer," she grinned briefly. "Or... what if I talk to my dad and you introduce yourself? Maybe he says yes then."

"And what will I say?" he said with a smirk. "Hi I'm Jay, you wanna test if I'm strong enough to protect your little princess?"

"Well, doesn't sound that bad," she chuckled, grabbing his hand again and looking around. "There he is," Faye muttered and she went to her father who was talking to Gemma and a few others. 

"Dad? This is Jay and I'd love to stay with him tonight. He's my colleague and a really nice guy. Just one night, please?" She smiled at him, looking at him with puppy eyes. 

"Yeah... no, forget it. I don't even know him. No offense to you," he turned to Jay and winked. 

"I'm twenty-four years old, dad. It's just one night, I need some distance from all this," she sighed.

"Maybe someone can make sure nobody is tailing us as we drive home?" Jay suggested as he saw how badly the girl needed a break from it all.

Clay looked at both of them and was just about to say no again, but Gemma joined them. "Give her a night. We'll send two prospects after them," she suggested, caressing her husband's cheek.

Clay sighed. "Whatever. I want you to be back at Happy's house tomorrow morning. I'll make sure someone picks you up. And answer your phone when I call you," he said to his daughter, still not sure if he liked this. 

Faye smiled happily and clapped her hands. "Great, thanks dad... and mom!" She gave her mom a smirk. Gemma probably knew how hard it was for her to stay with Happy. Plus bodyguards.

Jay felt surprisingly satisfied as her parents agreed that she could stay with him, he couldn't help it that he puffed out his chest to look tougher. "Your parents are really cool," he said as they walked away from them, heading to the stage where the second band of the day was going to give a show.

Faye frowned. "They can be, but they treat me like a fourteen year old right now. Not cool at all," she chuckled, walking with him to the stage. "And I'm pretty sure that they'll call me at least seven times to check on me."

"I can't blame them," Jay shrugged. "This is serious shit girl."

"It is," she agreed, sighing. 


	40. Chapter 40

Grace stood up, stretching her back. She looked around and saw that Polly was behind the food truck. "I'm going to help Polly out for a while." She turned around and walked to the blonde girl, helping her to prepare the food. 

"How do you feel?" Grace asked softly. "I understand  if you want to leave." 

The girl frowned. "What are you talking about?" 

Grace looked her in the eye. "Well..." Her eyes shot to the bikers that were standing a little to the left. 

"What about 'em?" Polly sounded even a bit irritated. "They stay away from me. Not all of us have the wish to get into their pants." 

Shocked, Grace looked at the girl. 

"What?" she shrugged. "I'm not blind. I see how you look at him, I can see how you are unclothing him in your thoughts" 

A blush appeared on her face. "I'm, I'm not..." 

"Oh come on. Don't pretend to be the good behaving girl now." 

Grace looked at the girl in confusion. "Why... why are you so hostile all of a sudden?" 

"You really need to ask that? I told you what happened to me and you still hang around with that trash. That hurts, Grace." 

"But..." Grace bowed her head. She didn't know what to say. "I just try to be nice to everyone." 

"Yeah, except to your own friend." 

Grace rubbed her neck. The girl's rapist was walking around here; the reason she had wanted to check-up on her, but she didn't seem to be scared of him at all. Before she could put her thoughts into words or could explain herself, the girl continued. 

"At least I know now where your loyalties lie. Please, go away Grace, before I'm going to tell your parents about your intimate encounter in the conference room. I'm not stupid. If you act like a bitch, I can be a bitch too."

 The look in her eyes was hard, making her freeze. Tears jumped into her eyes because the girl's words hurt her and she walked away, pushing herself through the crowd until she found a wooden bench that was taken from sight by the stage.

* * *

Juice had a good sight of Grace and Polly. He still didn't like it that they were friends. Polly was a psycho, who knew what she was planning. As he saw Grace leave, he was immediately worried. He no longer cared what her parents would think; he decided to go after her. It took him a while until he found her on a bench. 

"Hey, what happend?" he asked, sitting down next to her and turning her head to him. The tears in her eyes told him that there was something going on with Polly for she hadn't been sad before. "What did Polly say?"

Grace sighed, but she was glad that he had found her so soon, once again it showed her how much he cared about her and that this between them was real. "Faye told me Polly wanted to kidnap her. Then I asked Polly if that was true, and she told me she had been raped by one of your brothers and that it was payback." She bent her head, staring at her fingers. "And I believed her, and since the man is around I thought she would be scared or something, so when I went to her and asked how she was feeling, she became angry because I had talked with you and your friends for a while and she felt betrayed. And she ‒ she saw us going inside and threatened to tell my parents." A tear glided down her cheek and she bit her lip. "Why is everyone constantly lying or keeping things from me, Juice?"

Juice didn't say a word for a while, for longer than a while. He was so pissed that everything would sound rude if he'd say something, that's why he had to take a few deep breaths. What the hell was wrong with the Zobelle family? The father hurting other people and the daughter telling such lies. 

"Grace, I swear to God that no one of us would ever rape a woman. No matter how criminal we look or are, forcing a women into something like that isn't what we do." He looked at her seriously and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. "Who was she talking about? Damn, please stay away from that girl." Juice almost begged her, especially now that Polly knew that she liked him. "And if she tells your parents, she'll have one problem more than she already has." He wouldn't let Polly ruin Grace's life, not over his dead body. He pulled her into a hug and rubbed her arm gently. "I don't know why people aren't honest to you. I wish I could give you an answer to that."

Grace leaned into his embrace. She knew she should pull away; there were too many people around but right now she didn't care. "She said it was Happy. And to be honest I find him scary so it wasn't that hard to believe." Her cheeks flushed; maybe it would hurt Juice hearing her talk about his friend like that. 

Yeah, her words hurt her, they really did. But it seemed like Polly was really convincing. "He... he wouldn't rape a girl. You don't believe her anymore, right?" he asked quietly. 

"I don't know," she said softly, being honest. Would anyone ever suspect their own friends to be able to rape someone? She doubted that. "I just... I just can't see why she would tell such a lie to me."

"Why? Maybe because she's just like her father. You saw her real character a few minutes ago, Grace. She judged you because you like me, she threatened you to tell your parents..." He looked down at her, trying to show her what a snake Polly was. 

"But she was angry, if I had been the one raped I neither would have liked it as my friends would hang out with his friends," she reasoned.

"So you believe her? Then tell me why you're still sitting next to me, letting me hold you, hmm?" he asked, trying to sound not too mad. 

"Whatever Happy did or didn't do with her; it hasn't anything to do with you so why wouldn't I want to be hold by you?"

"Because he's one of my brothers? And if shit goes down we all, including me, will stand by his side." 

Grace didn't like the thought that he would support his friend, even when he had done horrible things, but she kept silent about it. "I think I should go back," she muttered, pushing herself up against the bench.

"No, Grace! See, we just..." he paused, standing up. "How should this ever work between us? Do you really think I'm lying to you? Why would I do that?" 

"Come on, Juice, don't put words like that in my mouth. I don't think at all that you're lying to me, I just try to take into account that there is a possibility that your friends can keep secrets from you too."

"But they don't. But now you said it; there is a possibility that your friend is lying. And Polly lied. But I think you have to find that out by yourself." His hands slipped into his pockets. "See you, I guess..." 

He hated to walk away, but he had to tell the others, especially Happy, about this. 

Grace sat down on the bench again, staring forward. Why was she constant fighting with everyone? With her parents, with Faye, with Juice, with Polly... She usually could always find the right words, she never had had heated discussions with her friends back home but here every conversation seemed to end bad and it made her miss her former life, were she hadn't had the feeling that she was constantly disappointing everyone.

* * *

The fact that they already had a discussion again made Juice even more angry. And all of this because of one girl who was telling lies ‒ bad lies. Of course he was disappointed. How could Grace think he'd spend his time with a rapist? How could anyone judge them without really knowing them? But it was all Polly's fault. Juice walked over to Happy who was alone at the moment and told him everything Grace had said about Polly. 

Happy narrowed his eyes at the blonde girl. He couldn't care less about the lies of that stupid cunt, he was about to kill her anyway because she had wanted to hurt Faye. He just waited for the right time ‒ and for the order of his President. "You better keep your girl away from that psycho," he stated. "She's gonna die soon and I doubt the church girl can handle such a brutality."

"Isn't that easy. She thinks Polly is a nice girl," he shrugged. "But I guess you're right. She was already shocked when she saw Miles' face." 

Happy smirked and shook his head. "You know it's never gonna work between you too, huh?" He had noticed his brother cared too much about the church girl for just a fuck and Juice really was the type of guy who'd want to try the impossible until he just got stuck.

"And you know that I'm gonna try it anyway," he smirked. Happy wasn't the first one who told him this, but Juice wouldn't give up. Instead he would show them in the end that it would work ‒ hopefully. 

"Idiot," Happy said, shaking his head. He looked around to see where Faye was, but it was crowded and he had lost sight of her. "Shit," he muttered. "You seen Faye?"

Juice looked around, too, trying to find Faye but he didn't. The place was too crowded right now. "No, I didn't. She was with a guy before." He quickly checked if Polly and Zobelle were still there, and they were,  but he had his guys.

Happy gritted his teeth. If something would happen to her under his watch, he would never forgive himself. "Go look for her," he said shortly. He pointed to the stage, were a large

* * *

 

Grace stood up and dragged herself back to the fair, knowing she still had three hours to go while she already felt tired and needed some time alone. She could still feel Polly's heated glare and it made her feel very uncomfortable. There was something dark around her. Or was she just imagining things now? Because Juice's words were affecting her? A little lost she looked around, not knowing were she could help or what she should do.

Faye had spotted Grace and walked over to her. "Hey, Grace!" she smiled briefly at her friend, pulling her into a hug. "You did amazing! All this here is great, really. But I'm going home with Jay, the others will stay and my dad will donate some money," Faye explained, but she quickly noticed that her friend wasn't so happy anymore. "You okay?"

Grace nodded, although she was starting to get a headache. "I just feel tired," she said, "the past days were stressful." Of course she wasn't okay, but she wasn't going to tell her friend that a part of her feared that her crush was a rapist. She wasn't exactly looking forward to a repetition of her conversation with Juice.

"Oh, sit down a little, just enjoy the fair. Don't work too much, Grace," she replied, her voice sounding a little worried. "If you want, I can stay longer and help you and Adrian." All she wanted was to be away from the crowd, but if Grace needed help, she'd stay.

"No, we'll be fine," she answered. "There are many people who are helping us but in my head... it's just full. I'll get my rest tomorrow," she winked. "By the way, I think I'm going to tell my parents that I disagree with them about you." She sighed. "I should have done that earlier, but they were just so pissed... things are a bit calmer now."

Grace's words made her happy. It was great that Grace wanted her fully in her life again. "You still don't have to, but it would be great if we could see each other again without hiding. And you won't have to lie to them anymore." She knew how much Grace hated lying to them.

"Not about you at least," she sighed. Although; maybe Juice was really mad at her now, so that he didn't even want to be her boyfriend any more. She showed the girl a shaky smile, feigning the strength she wasn't feeling. "I talk to you soon, thanks for coming." She gave her friend a hug.

"I'm sorry that it's so hard for you an Juice," she said honestly. The smile Grace gave her wasn't a happy smile at all, but Faye didn't want to make her mood worse so she decided to leave it that way. "Sure, it was great." She also hugged Grace, rubbed her arm briefly and went back to find Jay.

Jay let his hand slip into Faye's hand as she returned to him. "Ready to go?" he asked. "Where are the two guys who will make sure nobody follows us?"

Faye stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. "Believe me, they'll follow us. We don't have to tell them," she smirked, heading with him to his car. 

* * *

Happy felt relief wash over him as he found Faye, back with her date. He didn't exactly like the site of the two, but at least she was safe. 

A prospect told Happy that Faye had permission to spend the night with her date and that they would make sure no one tailed them to his home, by which Happy was relieved from his assignment. The thought that she would sleep with that fucker, itched in his mind. She was clearly letting him go, had set her eyes on someone else and he had never expected it would bother him so much. Looking around, his eye caught Juice. He walked to his brother and asked: "Have you already looked into that guy that's leavin' with Faye now?"

Juice had been staring had Grace in the middle of the crowd, contemplating whether he should walk over to her or not when Happy dragged him out of his thoughts.

"Ah shit, no, not yet. But I think the guy is okay. If you want I can go back to the club, look into him." Why was it bothering Happy so much? Was he just worried?

"Yeah, you shoulda done that the minute he showed up," he answered annoyed.

"Got it," he muttered. "Keep an eye on Grace, please," Juice told him before he left the event to get back to the clubhouse.

Happy huffed. He was done with keeping an eye on girls and he was sure Grace had nothing to fear. If Zobelle had wanted to hurt he, he would have done it earlier and certainly not in a public place like this.

* * *

After an hour, Juice had checked on Jay and also Polly. They knew much about Zobelle already, but not about his daughter. She however hadn't much on her back, so it was hard to prove to Grace what kind of person she was.  _The guy is actually pretty okay. Haven't done much in his life, don't think he's a danger to Faye'_  he texted Happy.

* * *

Grace was relieved when the fundraiser met its end. She tried to be happy about all the money they had collected, but there was a nagging feeling in her stomach because of the whole Polly thing. Juice had left the event a few hours ago without saying anything, giving her the impression that he was still angry. She let him be, not knowing what she could do about it right now. She walked up to Adrian, who was dividing tasks to the other volunteers to clear everything up. With a sigh she rested her head against his shoulder as he was done talking. "Do you feel so tired as well?" she yawned.

Adrian put an arm around her, studying her face with a smile. "Not as much as you are. But I have to admit that you've done way more than I did," he chuckled and sat down on the bench behind him, dragging Grace with him. "But we made much money. It was worth it."

"Yes, we've done a great job." Grace enjoyed his arm around her as they sat down and kept leaning against his shoulder. At least there was someone who was happy with her. She realized Adrian and she never had fights; he understood her and if they disagreed with something they could just talk calmly about it. From the corner of her eyes she saw how her mother was watching them with a wide smile. For a moment she wondered how it would been if he had been her boyfriend. Wouldn't that have been better for everyone? Everyone in church thought they would get together, she could see it in the way they were looking at them. But no matter how comfortable she felt with Adrian's arm around her; he wasn't Juice and she knew he would never make her feel like he did. Or was that only because Juice had touched her in different ways? If Adrian had touched her breasts too, would she have enjoyed it likewise? Her cheeks got warm with shame at the thought and she didn't dare to look at him.

Adrian was completely happy with how it worked out today. It was stressful but great, and both of them got many compliments. "Why's your mom smiling like a little kid on Christmas?" he asked with a grin, but the answer was clear, even to him. He knew that her parents, especially her mom, wanted them to be together, but this would never happen. Sure, Grace was an amazing young woman, beautiful and just like him ‒ but she liked Juice way too much, he wouldn't stand a chance at all. 

"You know why," she sighed. It hurt her that she would never look at Juice and her in such an approving way. "Sometimes I'm just wishing I had the same feelings for you as I have for Juice. Would have made things so much easier," she muttered.

"Of course it would make things easier, but you can't force yourself to feel something like this, it will just hurt you more." He smiled sadly. "I think they're just in shock. Maybe they'll change their mind in a few months... or years..." 

"I hope," she sighed. "I wouldn't know what to do if they keep rejecting him." In the end she would have to make a decision herself. She didn't want to end this with Juice because of her parents, but the fear that she might have to choose between him and her parents made her feel cold.

"I think you just have to wait. Or you can talk to them again. Not now, but when you're ready for this conversation," he told her. That was the only thing she could do: talk to them, tell them how important Juice was to her. 

She nodded. "Yeah, I will do that. Think it will need a lot of conversations." She stood up. "Shall we help the others? The sooner I can get into bed, the better."

"Yeah, probably. But don't give up, Grace. And I'm always here for you," he assured her, standing up and nodding. "Sure, I'm tired too." Adrian laid a hand on her upper back for a brief moment before he started to help the others. 

* * *

Happy read Juice's text and put his phone away, for some reason still lacking that satisfied feeling. There was just something off with the guy. He walked to his bike, no longer feeling the need to stay around and went to the clubhouse to find some distraction.

* * *

It took almost two hour to clean everything up. When Grace got home, she dropped down on the bed, exhausted. She checked her phone to see if she had a message from Juice, but he hadn't texted her. For a moment she considered to send him a text, but she wouldn't know what to say and laid her phone away. It was too early to sleep, it was around 8 PM, but she lacked the energy to go downstairs and talk about Faye. She would save that conversation for tomorrow.

* * *

Jay took two beers from the fridge and handed one to Faye as they sat down on the couch. "So, how does it feel to be freed from your guards?"

Faye thankfully accepted the beer and sat down on the couch, taking a sip of the bottle. "It feels great, but also strange. I start to miss them," she laughed softly. Actually she just missed one person, but he probably enjoyed his free time with Rowena already.

"Well, I can always stand in a corner and stare outside with a super deadly glare," he said with a smirk.

"No, would be hella creepy if you'd do that, please don't," she smirked. "But what you can do is distract me."

"Yeah? How you want to be distracted?' He showed her a wide grin.

"Mh, seems like you already have something in mind," she bit her lower lip, turning to the side after she set her beer aside.

"Not at all. I'm just open for suggestions. Just make me do something you wouldn't ask of your guards," he smirked.

"There's only one thing I wouldn't do with them." She rolled her eyes, grinning. She wanted to forget Happy, right? Why was it so hard then to not think about him? Slowly, she crawled onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Hmm, poor guys. They have to be around you all day long and they can't even get this?" He cupped her cheek and gave her a kiss.

"They have other chicks, they don't need me," she whispered against his lips, before he started to kiss her. The redhead closed her eyes, moving her lips in one rhythm with his while her hands glided across his chest.

Jay raked his fingers through her hair as he deepened the kiss. She was good ‒ definitely experienced. His other hand glided down her back, the tips of his fingers just underneath her waist band. He wanted more, but didn't know how she felt about that and gave her the lead.

Her tongue slipped between his lips, stroking his. She didn't know if she could sleep with him, Happy was still too much in her mind, but at least she wanted to distract herself a bit and started to play with the hem of his shirt. And it felt good, it wasn't bad at all, but different.  _It is more for fun, without any feelings,_ she told herself.

Jay twisted a strand of her red hair around his finger as they had ended their kiss. "So... that enough distraction for you?"

Faye nodded briefly, looking at him with a smile. "Mhm yeah, I think so..." she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Jay caressed her cheek. "So... you wanna watch a movie? Or do you just want to sit on my lap for the rest of the night," he smirked.

Faye bit her bottom lip, shrugging. "Uh, both?" she chuckled. The girl slipped off his lap and sat down next to him again, leaning against his shoulder. She wished that she could do this with Happy one day, but there was no chance that this would happen.

Jay switched on the tv and opened the Netflix app on his phone. "So, what do you wanna watch?"

"A good horror movie would be great." She nodded eagerly. That's what she needed now. If they'd watch some romantic shit she'd probably start crying.

Jay typed 'horror' in the search bar and picked the first movie that showed up; 'The Boy'. "Now, lets hope we don't get nightmares tonight," he smirked.

It however didn't took long before Faye fell asleep. She loved movies, but she was so tired that she couldn't keep her eyes open. 

* * *

Slowly, everyone returned to the clubhouse ‒ most of them. It seemed like it ended without a fight because everyone was in a good mood, which was good. Some of the guys were greeted by croweaters who waited for them the whole time. Sighing, Juice shoved his laptop aside and got himself a beer. He hadn't even said goodbye to Grace, what did she think now? Of course, he wanted to text her, call her, see her, but what should he say? That he was still not happy about her being friends with Polly? No, that would only cause another discussion. But he did want to know if they had earned enough money for their dream, so he got his phone and dialed her number.

Grace had just dozed off a little as her phone rang. Her heart leaped into her throat as Juice's name appeared. "Hey," she said softly.

A smile formed on his lips as he heard her soft voice, giving him goosebumps.""Hey," he replied. "I'm sorry for today. I just missed you so much that I was afraid I could already lose you again."

Grace squeezed in the blankets, suddenly wishing she was with him so they could lie in each others arms. He was so sweet it made her glow from top to toe. "It's okay," she said. "The whole day was just so stressful for me, so much happened..."

"I know. And I just shouldn't have left, but I was afraid that your parents would see us. And I wasn't sure if you wanted me to say goodbye," he sighed, running a hand over his face. "Sorry that I ruined it with the Polly talk..."

"I don't think there was a way around it," she sighed. "She hurt me before you tried to comfort me. And it's okay you didn't say goodbye, think it was for the best indeed."

"Maybe", he shrugged to himself, walking to his room. Once inside he closed the door and sat down on his bed. "I'm just worried, but I also know she's your friend. Just want you to be careful." Juice leaned back against a pillow. 

"I'll keep my distance from her if that makes you feel better," she promised. "At least outside church." She drew circles on the blankets as she listened to his voice and breathing. 

"I don't ‒ I mean... that would be great if you could do that", he replied. "Just for a while." Maybe Polly would show her real face then. "Did you make enough money?"

"I think we did, we're going to count it tomorrow."

"Good. Do you have time after that?"

"I have to work by day, so we agreed to evaluate things in the evening. I don't know how long it will take but it won't be longer than an hour I guess."

"That's no problem. Just call me when you two are done. But... where should we meet? I can't just show up at your door again," he muttered.

"Well, Faye climbed through my window," she grinned. But she knew that was not an option; if her parents found out about it they had really ruined everything. "I can go to your house, they will think I'm with Adrian anyway, they won't even ask."

"Yeah, not going to do that. I'll be probably so clumsy and wake up everyone," he smirked. Juice knew how clumsy he could be when he was nervous, so that wasn't an option, and he wasn't in that age anymore where he had to climb through windows. "Yeah, sure, if you want. You can always come over, you know that."

"I know," she said, smiling, glad they had at least one place where they could be together without anyone around. There was a silence, but Grace enjoyed it, knowing he was on the other side of the line, listening to her breathing. "Wish I'd been there now," she admitted on a whisper.

"Me too. Wish I could just hold you in my arms and kiss you..." he answered in a soft tone. The thought of her being with him right now was great, but she wasn't here at all. 

"Hmm tomorrow," she promised, leaning back in the pillows and closing her eyes. She lifted the corner of her mouth. "Tomorrow I'm all yours again."

"That's what I wanted to hear," he smiled, listening to her breathing. What would they do tomorrow? Just talk about things? Or doing the same as last time? "Get some sleep, okay? You need it." 

"I will," she said, even though she didn't want to hang up. "Good night, Juice. I'm... despite everything I'm really happy I know you and that you want to give us another chance."

The man smiled even more at her words. "I'm happy you gave me another chance after I had messed up so many things. This time I'll make it right", he promised, closing his eyes. He also didn't want to hang up, so he decided to stay in the line until she'd fall asleep or hang up.

Grace closed her eyes as he didn't hung up, listening to his breathing, pretending he was with her until she fell asleep only a few minutes later. 

* * *

Happy felt restless now Faye wasn't around. Would everything be okay? Could they really trust that guy? What if Juice had been wrong? In his thoughts his brother was so deep inside that church girl he didn't even know if he could still trust his judgment. He felt the urge to check up on her, but he knew better. She was no longer his responsibility, not tonight. It had been his President's call to give her some space and Happy could do nothing but obey. In an attempt to distract himself he took two Croweaters to his room; new ones since he wasn't in the mood to be with Rowena, but ever since he had been with Faye inside that hotel room sex just felt different and it frustrated the hell out of him.


	41. Chapter 41

Next morning Faye and Jay woke up on the couch together, the TV wasn't on anymore and she was covered with a thin blanket. Smiling, she stood up without waking Jay. It was a good feeling that no one watched her, but she really had missed Happy. She searched in her pocket for her phone and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. 

"Oh shit," she muttered as she saw four missed calls from her father and three messages from her mom. "They're gonna kill me." 

Quickly she called her father, surprised that no one had dragged her out of this apartment by now. As soon as Clay answered, he yelled in her ear. 

Faye swallowed. "Good morning to you too, dad. I'm sorry, I fell asleep and my phone was on silent. I'm fine and ‒" 

He cut her off, still hella pissed. "I want you back at Happy's house in an hour, you got that? As long Zobelle is still breathing you won't be alone anymore." 

Faye rolled her eyes, sighing. "Yes sir, whatever you want!" 

After that, she hung up and searched in the shelve for toothpaste. She had to use her finger to brush her teeth. It annoyed her that her father treated her like a ten year old at the moment, but on the other hand she could understand him.

* * *

Juice had fallen asleep while being on the phone last night, but in the morning there was no one on the other end of the line anymore. 

The rest of the day he spent at the club, working on some cars. As he checked the time, a smile formed on his lips. Quickly, he changed clothes and rode to his apartment. He hadn't been there since over a week , so he didn't need to clean up because everything was clean. Excitement spread through his body at the thought that Grace would be here soon. Should he order a pizza or something? Yeah, she probably hadn't much time to eat today. He ordered two pizzas and sat down on the couch, a smile on his lips.

* * *

Grace had intended to tell her parents about her plans for Faye's friendship tonight, but at dinner she still postponed it. She didn't want to cause a fight, didn't want to lose her good mood, being frustrated at Juice's house because it had led to the umpteenth discussion at home. Although she was looking forward to tonight, she could barely eat; still nervous that things would go wrong between Juice and her again. Right after dinner she went to Adrian's but she didn't stay long. She told him that she was going to Juice after counting the money and discussing the last things, but in the end he just told her to go so that they could spend as much time as possible. Kissing his cheek, Grace said goodbye and headed for Juice's house, ringing the bell nervously.

The pizza guy had already been there, so when Juice heard the bell he knew it was Grace. He opened the door, looking right into her beautiful eyes. "Hey, come in." He stepped aside and closed the door after she came in.

Grace stepped into the hallway and turned towards Juice to give him a hug, holding him tight. "This day seemed to endure forever," she muttered with red cheeks.

Juice wrapped his arms tightly around her body, pressing her softly against him. "But now you're here," he whispered, cupping her face. "How was your day?"

"Other then that it went by slow, it was good," she said. "We earned a lot of money, almost twice as what I'd hoped for!"

"Really? That's great," he smirked. Juice was proud that his girl had done all of this alone ‒ well, together with Adrian, but still. His hand glided across her back and gently he pushed her into the kitchen. "I don't know if you already had something to eat. But if you're hungry, there's pizza."

"I ate a bit, but I was nervous," she admitted with a shy smile. She liked to eat together; they hadn't done that before.

"Then you should eat something," he told her and sat down with her. "And what are you gonna do now with the money? What's the next step?" Juice asked.

Grace put one of the pizza boxes on her lap and pulled away a slice. "We will have a meeting with an umbrella association that will help us to draw up the budget, in a partnership with a local contractor who will take care of the construction material. And when we have made plans for that, we have to focus on the more practical things; a place to sleep and things like that," she smiled.

"Sounds... complicated, kinda. And I think this is much work, but it's great that you two are doing it anyway." He smiled and took the other box.

"Yeah, but luckily we don't have to do everything ourselves," she said. "And we don't know yet how long we will go. I thought about a month first, but maybe two is better. I'd like to do more than helping to build alone, I'd love to share some love with these kids too."

"Sure, that's why you wanted to do this, right? But this means you won't be around, and I'm  definitely gonna miss you."

Grace rather didn't think about the weeks or months she would have to miss him, but it was still far away. "You should come visiting me after a month," she said, a smile crossing her lips. "Bet you've never been to Africa."

"I can do that, I've never been to Africa," he nodded. If it was okay for her, he'd definitely visit her, if there was no club business at that time. "You already know when you'll leave?"

"Next summer, so within ten months or something." She laid a hand on his knee, following the edge of his kneecap with her finger. "So you don't have to worry that you will miss me too much anytime soon." She stuck out her tongue.

Juice looked at her hand, smirking. "Mhm, I'm already happy that you're here now." He bent over a little, took her chin between his thumb and index finger and pulled her face close to his.

She brushed his lips slightly with hers, and the light touch gave her already an amazing feeling. "Bet you do," she whispered, pulling back her face. "But you shouldn't let your pizza get cold."

Juice let out a soft laugh. "You're teasing me again," he said but he kept eating the rest of his pizza. "Your parents didn't notice anything yesterday?"

"At least they haven't said anything about it. My mom only has eyes for Adrian, so one hug with him is enough to let her walk on clouds. And my dad... Hmm, he didn't mention anything either."

"I think your mom will be super disappointed if you don't choose Adrian, huh?" He knew exactly how much her mom, and probably everyone else, liked Adrian. 

"If I don't choose him?" she asked with raised eyebrows. "There's never gonna be a choice and you know it." She piled up the pizza boxes and placed them on the table. Then she snuggled up to him, slipping both arms around him and resting with her head on his shoulder. 

"I know. But I saw it myself ‒ he'd be perfect for you and I hate to admit that," he said, sighing. His arms snaked around her hips. 

"Hmm, maybe. But he's just cute and not as hot as you," she said with a grin, letting her hand glide across his fingers. 

"Then I don't have to worry," he smirked, glad that she wasn't into Adrian. "I should apologize to him for what I said."

"About what?"

"Well, not the part that he can be proud of you, but the other things."

"I actually can't remember what you said to him," she shrugged. "I don't think you need to worry about it."

Juice pressed a soft kiss against her jaw. "We'll see..." 

Her fingers moved to the hem of his shirt, stroking one finger along his stomach. His skin was so smooth, so warm... "We never talked about your family. Can you tell me about them?"

Juice let out another sigh. It felt so good to feel her fingertips sliding over his skin again. A little overwhelmed he looked at Grace, shrugging. "There isn't much to say. My mom lives in New York. I'm not sure if my sister still lives there too."

Her whole hand disappeared under his shirt and settled on his flat stomach, softly brushing his skin. She looked up to him. "I wanna know you, Juice," she said. "What are their names? I assume you aren't very close, why's that? And what about your dad?" She blushed because of her many questions, but it was true. She barely knew anything about him.

He could barely concentrate on anything at the moment, he was fully aware of her touch. No one ever really asked questions about his family. "Kathryn, and my sister's name is Brianna," Juice told her. "We aren't very close. I mean, we never were the perfect family. I do miss my sister sometimes. And my dad, well, I don't really know him." 

"When is the last time you saw your sister?" she asked. She pressed a kiss against his jaw. "I'd like to meet them one day, even though they live on the other side of the country. But it can't be much worse than your first meeting with my family," she smirked.

There was a strange feeling in his stomach. Why would she like to meet his family? He wasn't even excited to see his mom again. "It's eight years ago that I saw her. I'm not sure if you meeting them is ever going to happen. I don't even know if I'll see them again." 

"Eight years?" she asked with widened eyes. That was a horrible long time, and he definitely didn't want to introduce her to his family. It made her sad; meeting his family had really been something she had been looking forward to. She however noticed this was't his most favorite subject and that he wasn't as indifferent about it as he wanted her to believe, so she decided not to ask further questions.

"Yeah, it's a long time. I'm sorry that I can't give you the answers you wanted to hear. It's just... complicated." Was she disappointed now? 

"One day I want to know more about it," she said. "I mean it, Juice. Maybe it's hard for you, but your past is a large part of who you are and I want to know you inside out." She laid her left arm around his shoulder and with her thumb she stroked one of his head tattoos. "But we don't have to do that now."

"Seems like I have to tell you everything one day." He was okay with that, but not now, he didn't want to ruin the evening. Juice stood up and dragged her gently to the living room. Sitting down on the couch, he pulled her onto his lap and in his arms. 

Grace nestled herself against him, her ear against his chest so she could listen to his heartbeat. She had wrapped her arms around him, underneath his cut. There was a silence, but she didn't feel the need to break it. 

He pressed a kiss on her hairline and let his hands slide across her body. With one hand he moved up and down her back, the other hand rested on her thigh. He enjoyed the silence, her presence, holding her in his arms. 

The way his hands moved across her body, made the heat in her body flame up. Her fingers were itching to slip underneath his shirt again, but she doubted it was a good idea. Could it be good if their relationship became too physical? They should also get closer emotionally, right? She knew he wasn't good with relationships and she had no experience with relationships at all, so it was hard to estimate if they were following the right path. "What do you want to do tonight?" she asked him, her hands resting on his chest. "Watch a movie? Play a game or something?"

Right now he wasn't sure what else to do. Sure, he enjoyed the silence and holding her, but shouldn't they talk or something? That's what people did in a relationship, right? He always knew what to say, that's why he was surprised by himself that he didn't know what to say now. Luckily, Grace did. "Game sounds good. What kind of game? Anything in your mind?" he asked, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I doubt you are the board gaming type of guy," she said with a grin, although he might surprise her. "I don't know what you got around here."

"Well, I'm full of surprises," he chuckled. But really, he hadn't any games here. "I only have video games and a playstation, that's all." 

"Okay. I haven't done that often so I'm probably no match for you, but we could play a videogame?" she suggested.

"I'll let you win," he smirked, standing up and getting the controllers, handing one to Grace. "What games have you played already? I got a few."  

"It's at least three years ago I did that," she said. "With a friend. Can't remember much of it, it was called Rayman. Some adventure game or something." She took the controller, her thumbs stroking the buttons.

"Don't think I have this one here," he muttered and he chose one of the games that weren't so bloody. He sat down next to her and turned on the tv. "You know how to use this?" he asked with a smirk, pointing at the controller in her hands. 

"I absolutely have no idea," she admitted. "You have to teach me."

Juice smirked even more. He put his controller aside and pulled her onto his lap so her back leaned against his chest. Then he grabbed the controller again and kissed neck, breathing against her skin. "Sure..."

Her breathing faltered as she felt his lips in his neck. His chin rested on her shoulder and she leaned with her temple against jaw as she looked down to the controller in her lap. "Okay," she whispered with tension in her voice.

It was hard to concentrate now on the game. He just wanted to be close to her but this would end like last time and he was kinda afraid of it. His lips touched her skin two more times before he tried to explain her how the game worked.

Juice navigated to the main screen and started the game. He had told her with what buttons she had to run, jump or attack, but it had been hard to concentrate on his words since his lips had been wandering across her neck. They picked characters and started the game, swords in their hands why they went looking for the mythical creatures they had to tame. "So this is what you do in your free time?" she said on a chuckle.

Juice's eyes were focused on the screen, but his body was still tensed. "Well, not just that..." he chuckled, not wanting to look like world's biggest gaming nerd. "But yeah... if I don't have anything else to do."

Grace tried to focus on the screen, but his hands were resting on her lap as he was holding the controller and every time their fingers accidentally touched, her skin tingled, being the most exciting thing of this whole game.

Juice was close to throwing the controller away and turning her around, but he kept focusing on the game. After he had let her win, he however grabbed her face gently and turned it. "I'm in the mood for something else now..." he whispered against her lips.

"Yeah, what's that?" she whispered back, feeling heat bubble up because she knew very well what he meant.

"Let me show you." There was a slight grin on his lips as he laid her down on the couch, bending over her. He still couldn't believe how beautiful she was. His thumb slid over her lips, and his lips trailed kisses down her neck again.

Grace shivered a little, turning her head to the left so his lips had a better access. It was a little tight on the couch and her arm was pressed against the backrest so that she couldn't lift it, but her other hand she laid against his side, feeling his muscles right through the fabric.

His muscles tensed at her touch, but this wasn't comfortable at all.Maybe he should just take her to the bedroom. But what if it was too much for her? Juice looked at her briefly. "Do you think Adrian would help you one more time? I want you to stay with me tonight..."

Grace chuckled. "The moment Adrian wants me to sleep there, my mother will be done with him immediately. That's a big, big no." She caressed his cheek; if there was anything she would love, it was falling asleep in his arms. "So, I'm sorry, but I can't do that." She bit her lip. "Wish I could."

"Mh, right, we can't do that," he agreed. But there was no one else they could ask. Grace wasn't allowed to see Faye and he surely wouldn't ask if Polly could help them. "Too bad..." he murmured, looking at her lips. Juice stood up, grabbed Grace's hand and gave her a smile. "Come. It's not really comfortable here." 

As they entered his bedroom, Grace suddenly started to get nervous. It was strange; they would have done the exact same thing on the couch but there things had been more playful and now... Now her whole body seemed to tense.

Juice turned around, studying the girl. He noticed how her body tensed. "Relax, I won't force you into anything." He smiled and sat down on the bed with her. "It's just way better here than on the couch." 

"I know, of course I know that." Her cheeks flushed. "I'm just a bit nervous. I don't know why." Well, she actually did. She was afraid she would cross her boundaries again ‒ she didn't even know what her boundaries were anymore.

"It's okay to be nervous, but there's no reason for it." He caressed her cheek with his thumb before he laid down and dragged her with him. His hands wandered over her waist, down to her hips. 

"I know," she whispered, leaning on her elbows so she could see how his hands moved slowly to her hips. She was dying to feel his touch directly on her skin, but she knew she had to be patient and the longing would only make it better.

"I'm still not sure how far I can go," he told her honestly.It was better to talk about his fears with her before he would ruin it again.

Her cheeks turned red, but she knew he was right. "I think... I just think we should stay away from each other's underwear," she said, convinced that that would keep the guilt away.

Juice frowned but then nodded. If that was what she wanted, he wouldn't push for more. At least he'd try not to do it. "Okay, I think I can do that. I mean, it'll be hard, I have to admit that." 

"I understand. I just... I just have to be strong and stop you if you can't." She looked up to him, holding his stare for a while. She wanted him, all of him. It made her blush again.  _No, you can do this Grace,_ she told herself. This was her responsibility, not his. She laid down on her side, laid a hand against his cheek and gave him a slow, sweet kiss.

"Good that we talked about it." He gave her that wolfish grin, glad she understood him. It was for the best if she was the one stopping him from going too far. Juice kissed her back gently, pulling her closer and closing his eyes. 

Grace laid a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat underneath it. During the kiss her nervousness slipped away, she enjoyed it more and more, now and then sucking his lip, teasing him a bit or holding back so she could look into those beautiful eyes.

Juice had a feeling that she was forgetting about her own words, but he wasn't able to stop. No, he wanted to touch her, tease her, satisfy her. He knew it was wrong and he shouldn't do it, but he wanted her so badly. His hand slid underneath her shirt, far away from her breasts but close to the waistband of her jeans. Feeling her soft skin again made him shiver. 

Grace sighed softly as she felt his fingers on her skin. Her hand slipped underneath his shirt as well, stroking his stomach, his chest. His body was so gorgeous, she wanted to take off their shirts, wanted to feel his bare skin against hers, wanted so much more but she pushed those thoughts away and focused on his lips again.

Juice pushed every bad thought away, especially when her hands slipped under his shirt as well. One of his hands was buried in her curls, the other one stroked her soft skin. His breathing became a little faster at her touch. "You have no idea what you're doing to me," he whispered before he gently sucked her lower lip.

Her breathing increased as his touch traveled higher, just a little bit. His whispers against her lips made her feel hot all over her body and she whispered back: "Then tell me. Tell me what I'm doing to you."

"I already told you once that you're driving me crazy..." he whispered, kissing the corner of her mouth "In a good way," he added in a whisper, trailing more kisses down to her jaw, his hand under her shirt moving higher.

Her thumb stroked the lowest of his ribs, her lips still close to his as she enjoyed his kisses. "But that's just an expression." Her lips glided down his neck and she pulled the collar of his shirt to the side so she could kiss the crook of his neck. "How does it feel to be driven crazy?" She grinned slightly, pressing her lips against his warm skin.

He laid back against the pillow and closed his eyes as her lips glided down his neck. A grin formed on his lips at her question. "It feels fantastic, like everything inside you is about to explode," he replied. Then he sat up straight and took off his shirt. He pulled her on his lap, his hands disappeared under her shirt again, moving from her stomach to her upper back.

Grace took off her shirt as well, looking at his eyes as he took in the site. She blushed as she noticed that he liked what he saw, and she gently pushed him on his back again, starting her trail of kisses between his collarbones, all the way down to his waistband, her hands gliding down his sides. His body was so perfect, so well-built that he almost looked like an artwork. "Your parents did such a great job," she whispered in a voice she had never heard before.

Juice couldn't help but stare at the girl for a long moment. Her bra fitted her well formed breasts and all he wanted was to touch and kiss them. After she pushed him down his hands glided over her cleavage, down to her hips and over her back until he reached the clasp of her bra, opening it. "I could say the same," he whispered back in a deep voice, noticing her voice. It was filled with lust, at least he thought it was. Slowly, he brushed the fabric over her shoulders, freeing her breasts.

Grace slid her bra straps from her arms and bent over him, looking in his eyes as his hands caught her breasts now they were hanging down. It felt like forever since he had touched them. "You have no idea how much I've missed those rough hands of yours," she whispered as he started to knead, the cold metal of his many rings cooling off her skin.

He stroked her nipples with his thumbs, caressing them as they hardened under his touch. "And I've missed to touch you... I really did," he said, and a soft growl followed. The bulge in his jeans got bigger and he wondered if there was a still a chance that they could go further than last time.

Grace lowered herself on top of him so their stomachs were touching and her breasts were pressed to his chest. Below her she could feel how much he enjoyed it and it made her blush, wondering if their relationship would ever last that long that she could feel it inside her. For some reason she didn't dare to look at him anymore and she started to kiss his jaw and his neck as his hands ran up and down her back, following every curve, making her press her body even closer to his as if they could melt together.

He enjoyed everything. Feeling her tongue, her lips, her breasts pressed against his chest. It however also made it way harder for him to wait and it was a real torture. His hands moved down, squeezing her ass. Damn, it felt so good, but the fabric over it started to annoy him. He wanted to see all of her body. With one move he bent over her, not breaking their kiss as his hand slid down to the button of her jeans.

Did she have to stop him? They had decided to not get into each other's underwear  **‒**  at least the lower ones, her bra she hadn't even taken into account  **‒**  but maybe they could still lie on top of each other without pants on? She just wanted to feel him through the fabric of his boxers; it was on the edge of what was still right, but it wasn't wrong, right? Her hand ran across the back of his head as she kept kissing him and she decided not to stop him, this just being the last line they would cross.


	42. Chapter 42

Grace didn't stop him. He remembered her words that she would be the one who would stop him if it was going too far, so he could continue, right? And nothing about this felt wrong, he saw that she enjoyed it too. He brushed the jeans off her legs but didn't dare to take off her slip, not yet. Juice started to kiss her again, this time with more passion and lust, swirling his tongue around hers, breathing into her mouth. Would they ever have the chance to sleep together? 

There was a turbulent sensation in her stomach, something that made her kiss him wilder, made her nails almost scrape across his skin, and it also encouraged her to flip him on his back, to trail kisses down to his stomach where she unbuckled his belt and opened his pants, pulling it off. Her cheeks flushed as she saw that his boxers had the form of a tent, but she tried to keep it cool and started to kiss him from toe tot top, starting with his left ankle and higher, along his tibia, across his knee up to the inside of his thigh until his boxer shorts blocked her way. She didn't dare to go further even though she knew he wouldn't mind and skipped that part, starting above his waistband again, around his navel, to his chest, neck and finally ending at his lips. He buried his hand in her curls, letting out satisfied sighs as their bodies slightly touched each other.

Juice had watched her kissing almost every inch of his body, and damn, it was so hard not to go further, even though he also liked the tease. And Grace really knew what she was doing, which kinda surprised him. "You have no idea how much I want you," he growled softly against her lips before he kissed her deeply, passionately. Why would he lie? Grace could see and feel how erect he was.

Her fingertips ran across the tattoos on his head as she kissed him back. The tone of his voice caused shivers going down her spine, but it was a pleasant feeling. "You want to stop?" she asked on a sweet tone, after a long kiss, looking him in the eye. She didn't want to, but if he was really afraid to lose control they should do a step back.

"No," Juice answered quickly. He didn't want to stop, he wanted to enjoy it as much as he could. Of course it was hard, but it was already enough for him if Grace liked it. "Just let us enjoy this," he whispered in a dark, husky voice, cupping her breasts and kneading them.

"Okay," she whispered back, searching for his eyes. He looked up at her as he kneaded her breasts and the lustful look made her throat dry. "I'm... I'm glad you don't want to stop yet." Her voice was shaky; his touch felt so good that it started to scare her again.

"Why would I ever want to stop, hmm? I'll only stop if you want it." He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, then her lower lip and her jaw, meanwhile kneading her breast while his other hand was playing with her nipple.

Grace gasped for breath; the way he treated her breasts just made it impossible to think. All those other things he could do with her, she just knew it would be amazing. "I... I want you, Juice," she stammered breathlessly, watching how he played with her nipples and feeling his lips on her neck.

Her words gave him a feeling he had never felt before. He was excited, like really excited. "What do you want, Grace? What do you want me to do?" he asked in a whisper, pushing her softly next to him so he could bend over the girl again, looking deeply in her eyes.

What she wanted and what she was allowed to want, were to very different things, and she was sane enough to still know the difference. "I want... I want to feel your lips everywhere," she said, and with a blush she added muttering: "Well, almost everywhere."

He listened to her carefully. He didn't want to push her into anything so it was important to know what she exactly wanted. "You can have that." He growled softly, starting to kiss her neck, down to her cleavage, her breasts and nipples until he reached the spot between her navel and pelvis. He wondered if she would stop him if he would take off her panties. His breathing became heavier as his lips were now kissing the inside of her thighs, and back up to her middle. 

Her fingers squeezed the blanket as she tilted her head backward. Her whole body tensed, there was an almost annoying throbbing feeling between her legs, and she thought back to how his fingers had played with her the last time. Was it really wrong to do that again? They had already done that, it wouldn't change much. She laid her fingers across the hand that was on her stomach and shoved it down. "I want more," she whispered. "Like... like last time."

That she wanted more drove him even more crazy. He wanted more too, he wanted all of it. "I'll do that," he smirked, his face still close to her middle. His hand slid over her thigh, to her hip. After a short hesitation, he brushed off the panties from her legs so she was fully naked. His throat felt dry, so did his mouth. "You're so perfect," he grunted softly as he looked up at her while two of his fingers slowly entered her. 

Grace felt insecure as he took off her panties, she hadn't wanted him to see her naked, but she didn't dare to say something about it, knowing that she was the one who hadn't been clear enough and she didn't want to ruin their mood. As he looked her in the eye and moved two of his fingers inside her, she could only stare at him, the longing in his eyes gave her a weak feeling. She breathed in sharply as she felt him going deeper, touching a spot that made a soft moan escape her lips. Her hips rolled back automatically and she closed her eyes, gasping, focusing all her attention to his touch.

Her lips were slightly parted as a moan escaped them. Juice couldn't stop to look at her as he was still between her legs. The feeling of how wet she was made him swallow. Heat rose in him while he moved his fingers in a slow but intense rhythm. He wanted to taste her, to send her over the edge. Without thinking he pulled out his fingers and replaced them with his tongue, letting out a satisfied groan. 

Grace was already drifting away, only being aware of the intense feelings he called up and the amazing job his fingers carried out. As his fingers suddenly changed in something warm and soft and above all wet, her eyes flew open and she looked down, seeing him with his face very close to her... thing. She wanted to raise a protest, wanted to push his head away, but as his lips folded around her bud and sucked, she couldn't say or do anything than holding her breath and feeling the pleasure rise inside her.

Juice flicked his tongue inside her, letting it glide trough her crevice before he took her clit between his lips, sucking on it in a gentle way. She tasted so sweet, so good and he wanted more, wanted to feel her inner walls tightening around his manhood. One hand rested on her stomach, pressing her upper body into the mattress. 

Grace had the feeling that she was about to explode as her fingers went back inside, without his lips leaving her. The combination was just overwhelming and she curved her back, pressing her head deeper in the pillow. "Oh Juice," she uttered, something between a moan and a sigh. "Oh... oh this feels so.. so..." There were no words to describe what she felt, and the pleasure took away her voice and breathe anyway.

He knew he couldn't hold back much longer. The urge to fill her out completely was overwhelming, but he kept fingering her and sucking on her clit until his breath was taken away. He kissed his way back to her lips, letting her taste herself while he freed his member from his boxers. "I want you, Grace..." he groaned into the kiss, looking into her eyes. 

Grace was a little out of breath, still recovering from her orgasm so that she hadn't even noticed that he had taken off his boxers. She had wrapped an arm around him, the other was stroking his face. "I know... I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Can I, can I help you in another way to... you know." Her cheeks flushed. For some reason it scared her to help him to his release, but it didn't feel right to have all the pleasure herself. "I eh, I don't really know what to do," she muttered.

Juice kissed her palm, enjoying her soft touch. "You can, yes..." he muttered, his breath still shaky because he really needed more. A smile formed on his lips as her cheeks flushed. "Just touch me, move your hand, that's all you have to do..." he told her, caressing her cheek before he took her hand and led it to his manhood. 

Grace stared at it for a moment, she had never seen a penis before and she had certainly never touched one. She had always thought that moment would come on her wedding night, and they were far, far away from that now. Her breathing sped up as she laid her fingers around it, not daring to back off now. It was warm and large and the tip had a different color  **‒**  it just looked weird. Insecure, she looked up to Juice, whose fingers were still on top of hers.

"Like this," he said softly, folding her hand around it, squeezing her fingers and moving her hand up and down. Would this be too much for her? No, she told him she'd say something if it was going to far.

She felt how the skin glided up and down, saw how more of the tip was exposed and how transparent drops came out of it. She had to admit that she liked the feeling of having him in her hand, feeling his heat, the muscles underneath his skin. It was so big, was it really supposed to fit into her? Her cheeks got hot at the thought and slowly she moved her hand up and down, aiming her eyes at his face again. "Like this?"

"Yeah..." he replied, licking his lips because his mouth felt dry. He looked down at her, studying her face, her expressions while his penis hardened even more in her hand. Some soft groans escaped his lips as her hand slowly moved up and down with a little more pressure. "Yes... keep doing this... feels good," he said, growling.

His low growl made her heart beat speed up. He was just... hot. Although she had been sitting next to him, she laid down again, her head on his chest, now and then kissing his skin while watching how she moved her hand as his penis even seemed to get harder. She imagined that she would kiss the skin around her fingers, but she didn't dare to, afraid he would be expecting more. Instead she looked up to his face, to the hungry look in his eyes, his tongue flicking along his lips. She held him a little tighter and increased the speed as his face told her he liked it.

The feeling was unbelievable. This wasn't exactly the first time a girl jerked him off, but this was different. He knew it was her first time  **‒**  and damn, she was good in it. Sure, he noticed that she was still a little cautious, but that was okay. His body relaxed but his muscles tensed at the same time while his arm was resting under her head, his fingers gliding trough her hair as more moans left his throat.

Grace had no idea when he would be done, but she remembered how her own tension had felt every moment that Juice had stopped teasing her, so she took her hand away, determined to just give it a short rest. She bent over him, dotted kisses in his neck while his fingers were tangled in her hair, and she kissed down his body, making sure nothing but her lips, nipples and hair touched him for she knew how that had driven him crazy before. She felt a new tension rise inside her stomach as she passed his navel and went further down, across his pubis. Nervously, she pressed two soft, slow kisses on his hard member, just at the beginning, before she worked her way up again, folding her hand around him again to continue while her other hand rested on the mattress to keep her balance.

Juice panted, almost groaned. "You know how to tease someone, girl..." He muttered under his breath, burying his hand in her curls again. Suddenly he couldn't hold back anymore. He pushed her softly on her back and bent over her, pressing the tip of his manhood against her entrance, his fingers pressing into her skin on her thigh.

Excitement took her over as he positioned himself between her legs. She looked into his lustful eyes, tasted his lips and she felt him pressing to her entrance. It felt like her brain stopped working, she could feel nothing but a deep passion. His fingers raked through her hair, his other hand held her thigh and she closed her eyes. Slowly, very slowly she felt him entering her and suddenly she realized what they were doing. "No stop!" she yelled in panic, pushing against his chest and trying to bent her knees to get him away.

"Shit!" he growled, now noticing what he was doing. Quickly, he gave her space to breathe, putting on his boxers again before he grabbed her arms. "Grace, it's okay! I'm sorry... oh shit..." he muttered, running a hand across his mohawk.

"No... no it's not okay!" In panic she grabbed the blanket to hide her nakedness, even though she knew it was ridiculous since he had seen every part of her body by now. Oh God, how could she have let his happen?! They had crossed every border, she had felt him inside her! She had committed one of the worst sins, or almost, or complete, she didn't even know. Tears filled her eyes, she felt so ashamed! She had believed that she could stop him, but she was so weak, she was so sinful, giving in to these sinful desires that had made her regret before.

"You're still a virgin... I didn't took it away... we..." He stopped, not really sure what to say in such a moment  **‒**  he had never been in a situation like this. He sighed deeply, stood up and collected her clothes, giving them to her. He noticed how uncomfortable she felt without them. "It was my fault. I knew from the beginning that you wanted to wait but I was just so... excited that I couldn't stop." Juice told her in a soft tone, sitting down next to her again.

"You know it's not your fault," she sighed, putting on her underwear. "I was supposed to stop you. I thought I'd be better, that I would be stronger, but I'm weaker than I ever thought I could be."

"Stop. You hear your own words?" he asked, pulling her close after she had put on her underwear. "This has nothing to do with strong and weak. We enjoyed it, and I should've known when to stop..."

Grace breathed in deeply. Feeling his chest against her bare skin still called up a deep longing to lay down again with him, to kiss every part of it. "You warned me that you wouldn't know if you could stop," she whispered. "I was convinced that I could, but... but I want you so, so badly it makes me... feel sick about myself." Shame colored her cheeks. He was her weak spot, her gate to a sinful life, to hell, and she just couldn't stop peeking through the keyhole. But she could never explain to him how she truly felt, he would't understand the consequences this all had for her.

Juice tried to understand her and he kinda did, but he didn't want her to feel bad, guilty  **‒**  she hadn't done anything wrong. Grace however thought she did and it hurt him, it made him even angry. Not angry at her, but at her words. She wanted him, but she couldn't because it was forbidden for her. "There's no reason to feel sick about yourself, Grace. I get that you want to wait and I respect that but I won't watch you feeling guilty about this..." he sighed, pressing her against him even more.

"Well there isn't much you can do about it, huh," she muttered, staring at her knees. "I... I can't do this anymore Juice. I'm sorry."

"Oh come on, there has to be something I can do," he said and he placed two fingers under her chin so she had to look at him. "You can't do what anymore?"

"Going... going further than kissing," she said, staring at his lips. She believed it was even better if they would stop with that too because their kisses were sometimes so passionate she couldn't keep herself from letting her hands slip underneath his shirt, but without kissing this would become a really strange relationship.

Juice raised an eyebrow, not really sure what to think about this. Yes, he respected her wishes and if that's what she really wanted he'd do it  **‒**  but it would be pretty hard for him. "Uh... we can try it," he nodded. There wasn't much more what he could say about this.

"Us 'trying' things isn't exactly working out very wel," she muttered. "We tried not to get inside each other's underwear and look where that took us." Sighing, she bent forward, burying her face inside her hands. "To be honest I don't know what to do anymore Juice. I feel like I'm just turning into some kind of sex maniac."

"We said we were trying, and we did... kinda. We're people with needs but we can't just get married so we can go further," he replied, trying to make a point. Juice let go of her and stood up, getting dressed again. "I don't know what to anymore either. I want you, all of you, that's no secret. But if it's really so hard for you, do you think this with us is the best? I don't want to be the reason why you're disgusted by yourself."

Grace rubbed her eyes. "I'm rather disgusted by myself than that I have to give you up. I tried that twice now and those were the hardest days of this year. I just... I just don't want to go that road again. I just... Have to grow stronger before we can go further than kissing again."

Juice opened the window, grabbed the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one of them, taking a deep drag. "And how are you going to do that?  Doesn't it even get worse when we see each other more often?" he asked and blew out the thick smoke. "And I have no idea how I can help you."

Grace sighed. "Maybe it won't," she said hopefully. "I mean, all this is still new to me and I have never been in love before so it's just overwhelming every time I see you, but when we're seeing each other often we can get used to each other and maybe the urge to... get intimate won't be so strong," she reasoned. "And it's just... kissing is a clear border, right? I mean, just on the lips," she mumbled, since she'd kissed half of his body by now.

Juice still stood there, smoking. Damn, just kissing? And only the lips? For how long? Months, years? "I can't promise you I can do that. Like I said, we can try, but this sounds more like a friendship, Grace, except the kissing," he replied honestly. They already went so far, got a taste of how good it felt and now they should only kiss?

"Then what do you suggest?" she asked, looking up to him. "How far do you think you can go before you can't control yourself anymore, like today?"

"I don't know, Grace. I'm not sure if I can control myself. Sex isn't the most important thing, yeah, but I need it once in a while, but I won't force you," he sighed. "I really don't know what to do. I think we just have to see how it works."

"So, what does that mean if you will need it but you won't force me?" Grace asked. "Will you go to someone else?" she asked hesitating. She didn't like the idea, but if he really needed it, she didn't want to stop him, especially not if it meant that her own virginity wasn't endangered.

He shook his head. "No, I could never do that to you. But maybe we can still... touch each other. No sex, I promise." He put out his cigarette and sat down on the bed again, looking at the blonde girl. "Something like a few minutes ago won't happen anymore." 

"But how can you be sure you won't lose control again?" she sighed, massaging her temples. "You didn't even realize what you were doing, right?"

Great, she made a point. "Yeah... right..." he muttered, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. "This is way harder than it should be."

Grace bit her lip. She wanted this to work so badly, but she just didn't know how anymore. Their needs were just so different... "I think we should stick to kissing for now," she said. "And if you really can't bear that much longer, I can help you... satisfy," she suggested. As long as her own body would stay clothed, there couldn't go anything wrong, right?

Grace's words sounded like a plan, a rough plan. He wanted to satisfy her too, but if she didn't want to, he had to accept it. "Okay good, let's try it this way. I give my best," he said, pulling her in his arms and pressing a kiss on her forehead. 

Grace slipped her arms around him and held him close. She knew she had to go home, but she hated being away from him and right now there was nothing she wanted more than to sleep here, in his arms. "It's my mom's anniversary next week," she told him. "Maybe I'll give them a weekend getaway." She searched for his eyes. "Then I could stay with you the whole night." Her cheeks flushed, it really wasn't a good reason to give such a present, but she just wanted to wake up in his arms when she got the chance.

Juice wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. This had to work. Again he noticed how important she already was to him after such a short time. Some people needed years to get that far. He looked down at her, smiling. "That's a good idea, it would be great if you could stay here for at least one night." 

"Maybe even two nights," she smiled, giving him a light kiss. "But I'm afraid I have to go home now," she sighed, tracing her forefinger along his jaw, enjoying the feeling of the rough stubble.

"Would be even better," he grinned, caressing her cheek as her lips touched his for a second. "You better go before you get in trouble with your parents. Even if I don't want you to leave," he sighed, pulling her into a hug.

It was a strange feeling to let her go now, especially after her little panic attack. Was she okay? Did she still feel guilty? Well, he did. "You uhm... be careful on your way home, okay?" he said. Juice cupped her face and kissed her once again. "Goodnight, Grace..."

"I will. I'll text you when I'm home, okay?" They hadn't spoken about Zobelle, but she knew he was still worried about it. Quickly she pecked his lips, then she turned around.

"Yeah, please do that," he told her. It wasn't so safe for her anymore ,not now she was involved with him. He walked her out and watched her leave before he went inside again.


	43. Chapter 43

Faye had spent another few hours at Jay's house. She just wanted to get a little more freedom before she was trapped in her cage again. In the evening she decided to go back after Gemma sent her another four messages. After a thirty minute walk she finally reached Happy's house and knocked on the door, leaning against it. 

Happy opened the door and nodded to her. "Glad to see you in one piece." He lifted the corner of his mouth and let her in.

Faye gave him a smirk. "I'm glad too about that," she said, walking inside. "I have to admit that I missed you and my bodyguards!" 

"Yeah? Why's that?" he asked as he followed her to the living room. He leaned with his shoulder against the wall and watched her for a while.

"Don't know. I just did..." she almost whispered, looking at him for a moment before she put her bag down in the living room. "And you? Enjoyed your free time?" she turned around to face him again. The butterflies in her stomach were back with just one look. Great. 

Happy shrugged. He wasn't going to tell her that he had been fucking two girls and that neither of them had been very satisfying. "Just hung out with the guys," he said. He didn't ask how her night was, he really didn't need to know if they had fucked.

"Okay, sounds better than playing bodyguard." She nodded briefly and ran a hand through her hair. "Uh... I ‒ maybe we... could do something tonight? Watching a movie?" She swallowed softly. She had no better idea right now. 

Happy shrugged. "Sure. You should pick on." 

"Really? Okay, great!" She gave him her typical sweet smile. "I just go take a shower, then we can watch one." Faye went to the room where her big bag was and picked some clothes before she disappeared in the bathroom.

Happy sat down on the couch and put a tooth pick between his lips, while trying really hard not to think about Faye undressing herself and stepping inside the shower. Once again he asked himself what the hell was going on with him. Sure, the sex had been good, but not  _that_ good that it was the only thing he could think about lately...

Faye took a quick shower and made her hair into a braid. For a brief moment she only wanted to put on underwear and try to wrap him around her finger again, but she shook off the thought. "No, he's just a friend..." she muttered, putting on her underwear, top and a leggings before she went back to the living room. She bit her lip and tried not to stare at Happy. 

"So, what movie is it gonna be?" Happy asked, realizing that he had no idea what kind of movies she liked.

"Not sure, let's just see what's on tv," she smiled, grabbing the remote control and switching on the tv. "Anything new about Zobelle? Any plans?" 

"Not yet," he said, although he wouldn't have told her the truth if there had been one.

"Oh, okay..." she whispered, not sure what to think. Of course she was afraid, but that was the last thing she wanted to admit. She bowed her head, playing with her top. 

Happy saw that his answer disappointed her and he turned a little more towards her. "Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing happens to you." 

"It's not just that. He can do so much more. This guy is smart..." she muttered, but his words touched her. "Thank you, for letting me stay and keeping an eye on me. I know you do this because my dad wants it, but thanks." Faye looked at him, a weak smile on her lips.

"I don't mind," he said honestly. "Although it's strange to have someone else living in this house."

"Yeah, but it's still hard for me. It really is," she sighed, looking away again. "How's your mom by the way?" she just wanted to change the topic.

Happy shrugged. "Not much different, she has a strong will, but her body is really goin' downhill. Should visit her soon again."

"Oh, that's not good. Is there no chance she will get better? Any pills, therapies?" she asked carefully.

Happy shook his head. "Got some drugs to ease the pain, but it will never go away."

"I'm sorry. I wish something could help her." She stroked his arm briefly. She couldn't imagine how hard it must be to watch your mom getting sicker week by week.

Happy nodded, not knowing what else to say about it. The situation just sucked.

Faye cleared her throat and turned off the tv again. She wasn't in the mood for a movie right now, she wanted to focus on Happy. "Talk to me. I don't care about what."

Happy was a little annoyed by her demand. "Wouldn't know about what." If she wanted to talk, she better went to someone else.

"I'm here for days now and we barely talked. It's already hard enough not to do anything stupid," she sighed and leaned back. Without a word she switched on the TV again.

Happy's jaw tensed. What did she mean by that? That her feelings were still bothering her? "Then ask me something," he said shortly. He wasn't the talkative guy; she knew that. "Or invite your new friend over."

"I don't know what to ask you," she shrugged. There were many things she could ask him actually, but not today. Her eyes shot in his direction as he mentioned her new friend. "Nah, we already spent the night and morning together, I think he needs a little space for himself."

He cringed as she mentioned that they had spent the night together, although he had already known that. But hearing her say it, was still different. He aimed his eyes at the tv, hoping there was a good movie on it for he really had no idea what to say to her.

And there it was again, the awkward silence. Maybe she really should've stayed with Jay, but Clay would never have allowed a second night. "See, that's what I mean. Maybe we're just too stupid to have a normal conversation," she muttered.

Happy rolled his eyes. "I just don't talk much. Got nothing to do with you, Faye."

"You're always talking with the other guys. Well, I'm not a guy but still. It's just strange. I don't know what to do when I'm with you, but this silence is killing me," she groaned and she leaned her head back.

Most things he discussed with the guys, were club matters or just drunk talk about the whores, and he never had been the most talkative one. "Just start a movie," he said in a grunt, not in the mood for her whining. Being around her all day was starting to annoy him. It wasn't her fault, being around any person that long would be annoying, especially if they were force into it.

Faye pressed her lips together. "Why are you letting me stay if you don't want me around? Dad could've chosen someone else then. Believe me, I'm also not happy about this situation," she hissed before she chose a random movie which was on right now.

Happy sighed. "I don't have a choice, huh? Clay wants you protected, he doesn't care how you feel around me. This is just a job, stop taking it so personally." He neither liked it to be a fucking babysitter, but the threat was real and someone needed to watch her. He knew why Clay had chosen him; he was more brutal than anyone else and he would make damn sure nothing happened to her.

"Don't take it personally? You have any idea how hard I tried to forget about you? It's hard enough already, but seeing you everyday makes it almost impossible," she raised her voice and looked him dead serious in the eye.

"What do you want me to do about it?" he snapped. "Tell your dad about it if it's such a big deal for you."

"You know what, maybe that's for the best. Don't worry, I won't mention that you fucked me two times already."

"Sounds wise. Crawling drunk in men's bed isn't exactly how a president's daughter should behave," he shot back. "He'd be ashamed of you."

"Fucking the president's daughter is a thing a member shouldn't do either, asshole. So it's not just my fault." His words hurt her. Would her dad really feel ashamed? Yeah, probably. She was ashamed of herself because of that. She had behaved like a whore two times already. But still, it pissed her off that Happy was the one telling her that Clay would be ashamed. Without thinking, she slapped him in the face.

Happy grabbed her wrist. "Enough now," he said on a calm, but low voice. "Grow up, kid."

"Yeah, maybe I should," she muttered and pulled her hand back. Quickly she stood up and took a smoke outside. 

Happy clench his fists and relaxed them again, telling himself that she was going through a lot. She was still struggling with the fact that she could no longer have children, her heart was broken and someone had tried to kidnap her. Of course she was overly tensed, of course she was acting like a little child. He shouldn't be so hard on her, should let it all slide off, but he hadn't known that she found it so hard to be around him; actually he had thought that things were going better between them.

Faye really thought about telling her father about her feelings for Happy, but she was too afraid that he would find out what had happened between them already. No one knew about it, except Juice and Grace, and none of them would say a word. After she had finished her cigarette she went back inside and leaned against the door frame in the living room. "I'm sorry, Hap. For the slap, my words, but I don't know what to do anymore. As hard as I try to get over my feelings, it just doesn't work." 

Happy had no idea what to say about it and he just shrugged, staring at the tv without seeing anything. "You don't like that new guy?" he asked after a while.

She still stood there, playing nervously with her fingers. "I do like him. He's a nice guy," she replied softly. "Did you mean what you said before? You think he'd be ashamed?" she asked. 

Happy studied her face, then he shook his head. "Nah, don't think that. We do dumb drunk things all the time."

She nodded at his words, not sure what to answer. The second time she hadn't been that drunk at all. "Uh, I... told my mom how I feel about you a while ago. But she didn't tell Clay."

Oh great, really great, Happy thought. "Does she know we slept together?" He tried to keep it cool, but there was an awful feeling in his stomach.

The girl chewed on her lip, shrugging. "Well... I-I may have told her a few things..." she answered nervously.

"Does she know we fucked or not?" he repeated, his voice tensed now. 'A few things' was way too vague for his liking. 

"No, but she knows that I've tried to get you in bed. That's all I told her, but I need to tell her. At least one parent should now what's going on with my feelings," she told him, her voice was calm this time.

"You don't have to mention we slept, right?" Happy sighed. He didn't want any of her parents to know, he felt ashamed as hell for fucking their daughter. Twice.

"I do, Happy. I already feel bad for not telling them. I won't tell my dad, I promise you that ‒ but mom always knew everything, don't want that to change," she sighed. "She won't tell him if I ask her to keep it a secret."

Happy sighed, but there wasn't much he could say about it. She would tell her mother anyway.

She wasn't stupid. Of course she knew that he wasn't happy about this. "Or... I keep trying to focus on someone else. If this with Jay would work I wouldn't have to tell my mom." Because then it would only cause trouble.

Happy didn't allow himself to feel bad about it, although there was that nagging feeling in his stomach again. "Guess that's for the best," he said.

"Yeah... I think so," she agreed. And she had this feeling the awkward silence would start again now. But there was nothing she could say to him right now. They just had to accept their situation somehow.

Happy aimed his eyes on the tv again and tried to look at the movie, but this whole situation with Faye was fucking with his head and if he was honest he didn't even know what he wanted himself anymore. He thought back to last night; the two girls had satisfied him but he hadn't felt satisfied at all, he kept thinking how things had been with her and he knew it was different than with all those whores. Maybe because she loved him, because her feelings had been true. His were not, he thought, but after having felt that jealousy yesterday, he started to doubt his own opinion of not being able to have feelings for someone.

Faye sat down on the couch again but made sure there was distance between them. They would never be able to be friends. He wasn't the type for a friendship and she knew it wouldn't work. She remembered his words, that he couldn't develop romantic feelings for anyone, and now she felt bad again for yelling at him. There was still this urge to lay a hand on his thigh, to touch him.

* * *

Happy looked to the side. The movie was meeting its end and Faye was silent for a very long time, so he wasn't surprised to discover that she had fallen asleep. Her cheek was resting against the backrest and she looked peaceful. On a whim he moved his hand to her face to caress her cheek, but right before he realized what he was doing, he pulled back his arm. Annoyed he stood up. This was just madness. She needed to go, she needed to have her own life again ‒ and he too. This was no solution ‒ Clay would see that too, right? Maybe they should force the guy to leave town. Take his daughter, instead of the other way around, and not giving her back before he had sold all his proporties. Or maybe he should just scare the crap out of that bitch, so she would beg her daddy to leave Charming. He walked to the kitchen en leaned with his hands at the counter top as he peeked through the window, determined to speak out his thoughts tomorrow.

Faye had slept for a while. The movie wasn't boring at all, but all her thoughts made her tired. She wanted Happy, but she also wanted him to be happy and it seemed like he couldn't be as long as she kept trying to force him into something serious. It was her biggest wish right now, being his Old Lady, his girl, his property. But she had promised him that she would give Jay a chance so he could relax again. Maybe it would work, Jay was a nice guy, funny, caring ‒ every other girl would be happy to find a guy like him. But as long as she was around Happy it was too hard to just forget about her feelings. She rubbed her eyes and looked around. "Hap?" she asked, wondering if he had already gone to bed.

Happy turned around and walked back to the living room. "I'm here."

Faye sighed in relief, a smile formed on her lips. "Okay... I thought you were gone," she whispered, standing up and walking over to him. Her hands slipped over his waist before she hugged him tightly. She wanted to feel his warmth once more. "Would you mind bringing me home? We both know it's better."

Happy laid an arm around her and pressed a kiss in her hair as he heard how fragile her voice sounded. He wished they could be friends, but he knew that was too hard for her. "Of course I won't leave you alone," he said. "I'll give Clay a call to hear if he's home and I can bring you there."

Faye took in his scent and swallowed softly. Did she really have to let go of him? Yeah, as long as he couldn't feel the same, she had to. Slowly, she raised her head, looking into his eyes. His words made her smile. "Okay, sounds good." She stood on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek before she took a step back.

Happy smiled at the touch of her soft lips on his cheek, but when he realized he did so he quickly stopped with it and gave Clay a call to hear if he was home. He was, it turned out. "Okay, let's get you back," he said to Faye.

"Sure!" Faye got her bag from the bedroom where she had slept the past week and left the house. It squeezed her heart to leave that house, to leave him, but it was for the best. As soon as both were sitting in the car she turned to him, a smile on her face. "Thanks for keeping an eye on me the whole time. If I can do you a favor for this, just tell me."

"I'm good. Don't worry about it." Seeing her smile again already felt as a reward. "How are you feeling? About all the no kids shit," he asked, taking off with the car. For some reason talking with her felt easier now she would be around him all day long.

"I don't know. I mean, I feel good, nothing hurts anymore. But my head is still kinda messed up," she sighed, not sure what to say. And right now she felt sad because she wouldn't be with him anymore every day ‒ but she couldn't tell him that.

Happy nodded, glad that at least the pain was gone. The full scale of her infertility probably still had to sink in, but it was a good sign that she wasn't all emotional. "You're a fighter, Faye," he said with a proud smile. "Lots of girls would have done nothing but crying."

His words made her smile from ear to ear. "Aren't we all?" she asked in a soft tone, folding her hands in her lap. "Well, I'm sad, of course, but crying won't change what happened. And I have great people around me."  Without them, she wouldn't be so strong.

Happy smirked, even though she was right. He parked the car in front of the house and left the vehicle himself too; he wanted to talk to Clay now Faye was a logical subject anyway.

The smirk made her heart jump. And again she asked herself how she could ever get over him. "Thanks for the ride," Faye gave him a sweet smile and went inside, leaving the door open for him.

Happy went inside, nodded to Gemma and looked at Clay, motioning his eyes to the side. His President walked with him to the hallway, and Happy let a hand slip inside his pocket. "This ain't a life," he told the man. "Hiding in my house. Gotta do something about it. That guy needs to go."

 "I know," Clay sighed. "Just don't like his amount of manpower." 

Happy understood that. With all those Arian shitheads they were outnumbered. "Gotta turn town against him. He needs their support." He thought about what Juice had said; that Zobelle's daughter claimed that he had raped her. He didn't care about it, people didn't like him anyway, but such a claim would surely destroy Zobelle's reputation. "He was with that church event," he mused. "Wonder what those good fellows think of him if they heard he raped someone." He thought of the church girl. It would be perfect if she would claim such a thing, as the minister's daughter. "You think we can get the church girl to lie about it?" He had his doubts, but maybe, as both Faye and Juice put some pressure on her... who knows. Nobody would expect that cute little girl to tell such lies.

Faye looked at Gemma, and both of them were curious. Since the Zobelle thing everyone wanted to find a way to get rid of this guy, maybe they both finally had found a way. The redhead followed the two men with Gemma, listening. "She won't do it," she answered softly. Sure, they weren't talking to her but Faye knew her friend. After all, she was friends with Polly. "It's her friend's father and she hates lying."

Happy snorted. "Think it's about time someone rubs the facts into her pretty face. Tell her what Zobelle did, that his friends are nazi's, that he caused your car accident and that she tried to kidnap you. If she's such a good girl she should be willing to help you, you're her only friend."

Faye sighed, shrugging. "I tried to tell her what kind of person Polly is, and her father. I can try it again, I can tell her the whole truth. But I can't do anything if she doesn't believe me," she told him. 

"It's worth a shot," Happy shrugged. "Got nothing to lose, right? Otherwise I'll talk to her." He lifted the corner of her mouth. "I can be very convincing."

"Well, that's true", she admitted. She raised an eyebrow, chuckling. Even Gemma had to laugh and Clay had a smirk on his face. "Yeah... no, let me handle this. Don't want you to scare her to death." She let out a soft laugh, knowing exactly how Happy would handle this.

Happy grinned. "I can be very charming too, you know."

"Yeah, I do," she grinned. "But still, I'm gonna do it. Is it okay if we wait until tomorrow morning? It's late and I'm tired too."

Happy nodded. "Yeah, just find the right moment. She shouldn't feel forced."

"Good, thanks! I'll definitely talk to her tomorrow," she let him know, looking at all three of them. "Thanks to all of you, I know you just wanted to keep me safe, but staying inside twenty-four hours isn't a life. Just give me a little space again," she muttered, not waiting for an answer. Smiling, she went back to her room. And there it was again ‒ the loneliness was back.

* * *

Faye just woke up after a nap. She quickly texted Jay if he wanted to do something with her after work tomorrow, then she went downstairs. Happy wasn't there anymore and neither was Clay. Maybe they had something to do in the club. After she got herself a glass of juice she went to the living room and sat down next to her mom, Abel was also there but sleeping. There was a lump in her throat, but she couldn't forbid Jax to bring over his son if he had something to do ‒ and she loved the little guy. "Can I talk to you? But you have to promise me that this stays between us," she muttered.

Gemma looked a bit skeptical, not sure what her daughter wanted from her. "Sure baby," she said, caressing her cheek. "What is it you want to talk about?"

"I already told you that I have feelings for Happy, you remember? Well, we slept together, twice," she swallowed, trying to control her voice but it still sounded shaky because she was super nervous. "But I really provoked it, mom. I don't know what to do. I still want him, but I told him I'd try to get over my feelings."

Gemma blinked her eyes, needing a few seconds to understand what the girl was saying. She and Happy had slept together? She was disappointed in him, she had expected more respect from the man. "You should focus on other men, Faye," she said softly. She loved Happy, like she loved all Sons, but she knew he wasn't exactly the sweet loving boyfriend she had in mind for her daughter. "What about that man from the fundraiser? He looked nice."

"I'm trying, it's not so easy," she replied. Hopefully Gemma wouldn't say anything to Clay or Happy. Both would be super embarrassing. "Yeah, he is nice and I really like him, but I'm not sure if it would work. I mean, what if I can't forget Happy? I don't want to use Jay and mess with his feelings."

"You will have to try, Faye. You can't stay alone for the rest of your life because you're afraid old feelings will take control of you... They will go away, I'll promise you." She gave her an encouraging smile.

Her mom was right, she couldn't stay alone forever, and this would happen if she'd wait for Happy. "I think you're right. Maybe I'll be there tomorrow again after work. I mean... if you and dad allow it," she said, a small smile on her lips.

"Let's hope Happy's plan will work," Gemma smiled. "And if not, we can ask one of the other guys to stay with you. It must have been hard, being around him the whole week."

"Yeah, I hope so," she agreed. "It was really hard but I had no other choice. I can't tell dad about my feelings, he'd never accept that."

"Of course he will, sweetheart. You can't change anything about your feelings. Just don't tell him you slept with him, don't think he'll appreciate that." She winked.

"No god, this would cause so much trouble. I still don't want to tell him, though. And if there is a other guy in the future I would have told him for nothing", she sighed. "Thanks mom... for not judging me." She smiled briefly.

"Of course not, sweetheart." Gemma kissed her cheek. She knew all about difficult loves; after all, she had fallen in love with her husband's best friend.

"I go back to bed," she kissed her stepmothers cheek and got up. "And please just let me stay here," Faye said before she went to her room again. Thank god Gemma didn't freak out. 


	44. Chapter 44

The more time went by, the more sinful Grace felt. During the night she relived every moment, feeling his tongue around her private parts, feeling the soft skin of his hard member underneath her lips, feeling it slowly glide into her. She was shocked by herself. How could she have allowed all this? Halfway the night she slipped out of bed and grabbed the belt. She needed to purify herself, she had to show God how sorry she felt, how badly she wanted to change. She took off her nightie and knelt down, slapping the belt against her back, her stomach, her breasts, her thighs – everything Juice's hands or tongue had dishonored. She hit her skin only once, spreading the pain across her body instead of focusing on one spot so it wasn't as visible as last time. She went on until she was crying, until all images had died away and the pain was the only thing left on her mind.

Next morning Grace's whole body felt stiff. She whimpered softly and went to the bathroom, where she smeared a salve across the bruises. Actually she didn't want to ease the pain, but she neither wanted anyone to find out about it. Sitting down at the table to have breakfast, she brought up the subject she was postponing for two days now. 

"I want to see Faye again," she told her parents. "We talked at the fundraiser and I just miss her. It doesn't feel right to abandon her because of her friends and she's been through hell the past weeks. I want to be there for her." 

Her father looked at her pensively and nodded, her mother pouted her lips, but didn't object. 

"But you still keep your distance from those bikers," she reminded Grace. 

Grace suppressed a sigh. She wished she could just tell them about Juice, that she could just invite him over. But if they knew what they had done last night... she was sure she would be locked up. "I'll do my best," she said. "I won't go to the clubhouse, but I can't just run away every time one of them crosses my path. They won't hurt me, mom, maybe they aren't like us but they are still friendly and they donated a lot of money at the fundraiser. I get why you want me to stay away from Juice, but the fact that we... did things doesn't mean that I do that with all of them. Not at all. He's the only one I have such feelings for." 

Her mother's gaze rested upon her face. "You still have those feelings?" 

Grace felt her cheeks glow, but she decided not to lie. "I do. I hadn't seen him in two weeks, but my feelings grew stronger anyway. I... I really like him, mom. I know he messed it up but you should really give him another chance. It would... It would make me really happy." 

"He will never make you happy," her mother huffed. 

"He wants to," she said softly. 

"Guys like him are only after one thing." 

Grace shook her head. "Stop judging him as long as you don't know him." She looked at her father, who was remarkably quiet. Almost she told them where she had been yesterday, but she was afraid they would ask her if they had became intimate again and she was afraid her red face would tell them what had happened. 

"You can't keep us apart forever, mom," she said. "If I can't forget about him, despite my prayers, then I believe that it means something. I know we went too far, but if I tell him I don't want to go further than kissing than I know he will respect my wishes. He isn't an animal, mom. He's just a man who likes motorcycles and tattoos." She bent her head. "I just... I just don't want to see him behind your backs, I don't want to meet him in secret. But I miss him and this ban is making me unhappy." She took a deep breath. She had never intended to tell them this, but keeping secrets from them just felt wrong. "Just... give him a chance," she said softly. "There are already so many people who are rejecting him because he's a Son and his own family is on the other side of the country... you really would make a change if you'd forgive him." 

"But he forced you..." 

"Stop, mom. He didn't force me into anything. Yes, I was weak and I let him go too far, but that was because I enjoyed it, because I liked it, and not because he forced me into anything. I made a mistake, but God forgave me and it won't happen again. If God can give us a second chance, why can't you?" 

Her mother sighed and looked at her husband, who shrugged. 

"I believe we should give him a second chance, like Jesus gave us a second chance." 

Grace widened her eyes, stunned by his answer. She had hoped for an answer like this, but it was hard to believe that she really just got one. "Thank you," she whispered, standing up from her chair and giving him a hug. "He won't blow it. I know he will try really hard to convince you that he wants to make me happy." She looked at her mother, who clearly wasn't happy about it, but she didn't object. Not out loud, at least. 

After breakfast Grace dialed Juice's number immediately, so she could share her relief with him.

* * *

 _'Hey, do you have time later? I need to talk to you and it's really important'_ , Faye texted Grace immediately after she had gotten up. Should she really do that? She couldn't just ask Grace to tell everyone that Zobelle or one of his people had raped her. That could ruin their whole friendship. Or was there a chance that Grace would understand if she told her the truth? It was definitely more complicated than it should be. Never before had the club had an enemy as Zobelle, and that scared her. Besides, Grace was still friends with Polly, which Faye still didn't like. Maybe she should talk to Juice about it first, at least tell him what she intended to do. Why couldn't the problems just stop? 

After a quick shower and dressing, she grabbed her bag and headed downstairs to the kitchen. "Good morning," she said with a smile and she kissed Abel's forehead. 

"You're eating with us? Jax is on his way, sweetie," Gemma asked, looking briefly at her daughter, who apparently was about to leave. 

"Uh, no, not hungry. I also have to talk to Juice. But I'll come home before I go to work." 

Only fifteen minutes later, Faye was already sitting on the sofa with Juice. First she wanted to know how he was, how it was with Grace, and then she could still tell him about the plan. 

"What exactly happened between you and Grace? Have you found a way to be together?" With curious eyes she looked at her best friend, hoping that he at least had some luck. 

Juice grinned briefly, but then he became more serious again. "She was here last night. And I idiot couldn't control myself. She broke into panic and then the mood was over. We have now decided that we do nothing but kissing," he sighed, scratching his neck. 

"Just give it some time. I mean, you guys haven't been together for a long time, I think you both find a way to make it work," she said constructively, squeezing his shoulder for a moment. 

"I hope so." Juice looked uncertain, but she also knew that he wouldn't give up so quickly ‒ which was good. "What about you? Why are you here so early?" he asked a bit skeptical, as Faye never stood in front of his door so early. 

"Do you think Grace would lie for us? I know how much she hates it, but it's about Zobelle. I'm just scared to ruin the friendship again, but we need her." With a sigh, she slid her fingers through her red waves and laid her head on the back of the sofa. She just stared at the ceiling, waiting for Juice's answer. 

"I think she would, even if I don't like it," he said honestly and sighed deeply. Grace was a girl who felt guilty quickly, he had seen it yesterday. Who knows how bad it would be if she would lie for someone else. But he knew that the club came first, they needed her help. "If it really has to happen, we have no choice," he added. 

Now they were both sitting quietly on the sofa, no one knew what to say ‒ which had never happened before. 

After a while Juice heard his phone. Faye went to the kitchen to give him some privacy, even if she didn't have to do that. "Hey, you okay?" he asked immediately after he had answered the phone. 

"Hey... yeah. I uh, I told my parents about my feelings for you. And uh, we talked about it and they want to give you a second chance. So we don't have to hide anymore," Grace said with a wide smile, feeling so relieved that she could almost cry. "They don't know that I was with you though, yesterday, so we have to keep that to ourselves."

Juice didn't say anything for a while. She really had told them? And they didn't freak out completely after what he had done? He couldn't believe that, especially because her mom had tried to kill him with her facial expressions at the fundraiser. "Seriously? They really wanna give me a second chance?" he asked, still a little skeptical. But that was great, it was a step forward. "No, I won't say anything about yesterday... I'm not sure if I even can say anything..."

"Well my mom is obviously not happy about it, but I think my dad really wants to give you another chance because he believes everyone deserves a second chance," she convinced him, since his voice told her he found it hard to believe her.

"Okay, I'm glad about that. I, uh, what now? Don't think they'll let me come over already, right? Do they wanna talk or something?" he asked, trying to relax but his body tensed. What if he didn't know what to answer when they asked him something?

Grace thought about it for a while. She couldn't see him too soon, not with all the bruises on her body. He wouldn't see it, but she was afraid she would whimper as he wrapped an arm around her; she had thought it would take a few days before they would find an opportunity to meet again. "I think you should just come over later this week for a coffee. Just like our original plan," she suggested.

"Okay sure, I'll come over in a few days. But... I want to see you before that, Grace," he said. There was no way he would wait almost a week before he could see her again. They just got the chance to be together. "You have time tomorrow?"

"Eh no," she lied. "But the day after tomorrow is okay?" She was sure she would be in less pain then.

Juice sighed. Should he ask her? Faye wanted to talk to her, but maybe it was better if he was around too. "No, we need to talk to you. Faye and me. It's really important. Just give us ten minutes and we won't bother you again until the day after tomorrow," he promised.

Grace was a bit confused when the topic changed from him meeting her parents to a serious conversation with him and Faye. What was going on? "Eh, okay," she said nervously. "You eh, want me to come to your house? Or to Faye's?"

Of course he noticed how insecure she was now. He would be too. "To my house. Want me to pick you up?" Juice asked, his voice was now softer again.

"No, I'll take the car. Have to get a couple of errands anyway." Although her parents knew about Juice now, they didn't need to know that she was going to see him again. She said goodbye and hung up, trying to ignore the nervous feeling in her stomach. He had sounded serious, she had a bad feeling about it. After taking a shopping bag from the hallway she went to her car and drove to Juice's house, pressing the doorbell. The vest she was wearing was a little to warm and the fabric annoyed the bruises, but she hoped it would muffle eventual touches.

Juice opened the door immediately, waited for Grace to come in and raised an eyebrow when he saw her in a vest. It was pretty warm today, but he didn't say anything. "Hey." There was a weak smile on his face before he kissed her. "Faye's in the living room."

Her hand briefly stroked his chest as he kissed her. She was glad that Faye was here, so that they couldn't kiss that long. She walked to the living room, sat down on the couch and gave her friend a nervous smile. "Hey. So... what's going on?"

Juice followed Grace and sat down next to her so Grace was sitting in the middle of them. "It's about Zobelle. Just listen to her until she's finished, please," Juice told her. 

Faye nervously bit her lip, searching for the right words. "Exactly, it's about Zobelle. We need him out of town, otherwise no one in the club is safe anymore. And I'm really not in the mood to share a hospital room with strangers again," she said, playing with her hands. "You could do us a favor, tell people that one of his guys or even he raped you. I know it's much I ask for, but he's not the nice guy you think he is. And Polly is just like him. No one would believe me if I tell people, but you're the nice church girl. No one would think you're lying."

For a moment Grace just stared at her, not willing to believe what she was saying. Was she really asking her to pretend like she had been raped by Ethan Zobelle? Her gaze turned towards Juice. "I really hope this is just another dumb prank, like that stupid bet?"

Juice sighed. "No, it isn't. Didn't Polly do the same thing? Telling you that Happy raped her?" He understood that she was shocked or something like that, but they had to take the risk and ask. "If you don't want to it's okay, but it would really help us." 

Faye's eyes grew wide. "Wait, what ?!" she asked, her voice higher. If Polly really said that, did Grace believe her? For a moment she forgot about the actual subject. "You don't believe her, right?"

"I don't," she said, not after how she had seen how easy Polly was around Happy at the fundraiser. "But that she does something so low to explain why her father attacked you, doesn't mean that I'm going to do the same! Do you have any idea how people will look at me if they think I'm raped?" She shook her head, tears stinging in her eyes. "I can't... I can't believe that you're asking this from me! Did you really think I would spread such a rumor? Do you really know me so little? And if he's really so dangerous, do you really want to expose me to his vengeance?!" She stood up, but she felt so stressed that her surroundings were spinning around her. "You... you're insane," she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief.

Faye sighed in relief. At least she didn't believe Polly. But now Grace was angry it made her feel bad. She knew she shouldn't have asked, she knew it would go wrong. "No, I thought you wouldn't do it, but we still had to take the chance and ask," she replied almost desperately. Great, now she probably could forget their friendship. 

"Please, Grace, don't be mad. We won't ask you again, we'll find another way!" Juice stood up too, already hating himself for asking her such a question. "Grace, just forget about it, okay?" He grabbed her hands and pulled her close, looking down at her. "Don't be pissed. We just wanted a yes or a no, that's all." He caressed her cheek, not sure if he should really do that right now.

Grace moved her head away from his touch and pushed him away, gently, to create some distance. She didn't want his touches to smooth things over; she was really disappointed in him. "You knew it would be a no. Or at least you should have known it was a no. The both of you." She took a deep breathe, she still had a hard time believing they really asked such a thing from her. "I need to go," she said as she had the feeling she was suffocating, and she turned around.

"Did you ever need a big favor? You can't blame us for asking, Grace. I know that's not your world... but you better open your eyes if you want this to work between us," he told her politely. He wasn't mad, he was disappointed in himself for asking her, but she should slowly realize what kind of life they lead. "You don't have to go." He was about to caress her cheek again, but she didn't want him to touch her so he pulled his hand back. 

Faye didn't say anything.  _She won't do it, I told you,_  she texted Happy.  _You could've told me about the Polly thing by the way,_ Faye added, turning her attention to Grace. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Well I do blame you, and if you believe that asking insane things like this from me is anything close to normal, I can already tell you that this isn't going to work between us. Not in a friendship, and especially not in a boyfriend-girlfriend way."

"Can you please calm down? We both are sorry, we told you that. It's not like we force you to anything," Faye sighed. She should've asked her alone, at least Juice wouldn't have had problems with her now. She saw how hard this hit Juice again as he left the room without a word to take a smoke on the balcony. "Don't blame him for that. He knew from the beginning that you'd say no."

"Oh, you're not forcing me into telling the world that I'm raped? Well, that's a relief!" She gritted her teeth. She didn't get angry easily, but this was just... unbelievable. "I do blame him, Faye. Both of you. You can't ask someone to lie about such a thing! I'm sorry that you were in a car crash and that you blame Ethan for it, but I won't let you two drag me into... into all this crazy stuff!"

"Grace! I told you it's okay if you don't want to do it! So I actually don't drag you into anything." she sighed deeply. Grace was angry, and that wasn't a good sign. "You're his girlfriend, let me tell you one thing; we all help each other when it comes to the club, you're a part of us now, too, that's why we asked. And we clearly understood that you don't want to do this. No reason to be pissed," she muttered.

Grace shook her head. She had the feeling everyone around her had gone crazy. "You two should really rethink what you asked of me. Something so brutal... If this is how your club solves problems, I don't want anything to do with it." She turned around and walked to door, breathing heavily in and out. Had they completely lost their minds? Did they really think, for just one minute, that she would claimed to be raped? That was one of the most horrible deeds one could carry out, and they made it sound like she had to state that he had just stolen candy!

"Then I'm not sure if the relationship between you two will work," she replied softly. Grace could never live with the club, no, she was too good for this life. She really hoped Juice and her would find a way to make this work anyway, but she had her doubts. "I have to go, maybe you can talk to him again." She gently pushed Grace aside, opened the door and left without another word. Now they had to find another way to get Zobelle out of town.

Grace watched her leave, feeling anger bubbling up. It felt like her own friend wanted to use her just to get things done. And her boyfriend agreed with it. This was just insane... She left the house as well; she was too mad to have a conversation now and Faye's words kept haunting her. More than anyone, Faye had been convinced that it could work between Juice and her, despite their differences. But she had clearly changed her mind too. She sat down in the car, breathing deeply in and out, trying to gain control of herself before she would leave. The last thing she wanted, was causing an accident.

Juice watched Grace leave from the window, sighing. What should he do now? The club was all he got, there was no way to let his brothers down, no matter how much he liked a woman. But he felt bad, and it annoyed him that they had a fight again.

* * *

Faye got into her car, called her dad and told him the outcome, after which he told her to come to the clubhouse. She was angry too, and maybe her words had been a little harsh. But what was she supposed to say? It was the truth. If this was already too much for Grace, how would she react if she finds out that they were killing people sometimes? She was on her way to become an Old Lady, she was Juice's girlfriend. But an Old Lady should accept and stand behind the club decisions ‒ and her man. Sighing, Faye drove to the club. 

"Guess it didn't work too well?" Happy asked with a raised eyebrow as Faye entered the building. Sighing, she hook his head. "Let's hope Juice has more influence." 

"He was with me," she sighed. "Didn't change anything." 

Happy was a little pissed that the church girl created such a fuss. Juice should keep his old lady under control, it was up to him to convince her to do favors for the club, like an old lady was supposed to do. But there was no doubt his emotions had taken the lead. 

"Then I'll go talk to her myself. She's our best shot." 

"Please try to stay... nice," she muttered. Just because she was angry didn't mean she wanted anyone to hurt Grace. Happy actually didn't hurt women, but he could if he needed to. "What are you going to do? She won't say yes if you just ask her. You're intimidating, but she hates lying ‒ especially when it's about something like that."

"I will just tell her very clearly what might happen if she doesn't do anything, ask her if she can live with the guilt if you end up dead because she was too much of a pussy to help you out." He didn't need to know her very well to know that she was an easy one to make feel guilty. "Which of course will never happen, but scaring her a bit might make her change her mind, don't you think?"

She didn't like the plan; dragging Grace into this by using their friendship. But what else could they do? This was the only way. "Don't make her feel too guilty, please. I know what you mean and I'm sure this could work, but who knows if she'll ever talk to us again," she admitted, bowing her head. "I don't want to mess this up, and Juice... he deserves to be happy."

Happy snorted. "Plenty of time to fix things after that fucker is gone, don't ya think? She's a Christian, it's her fucking duty to forgive you."

"We just asked her to tell people she was raped, I'm not sure if a Christian girl can forgive me for this. And just because she forgives me doesn't mean that she still want me as her friend." She growled softly. "But seriously, you won't hurt her, promise me."

"Of course I won't hurt her," he said, annoyed. What did she think he would do? Beat her up? How would that help.

"Well, good," she said enthusiastically, sitting down on a bar stool. "Why didn't you tell me what Polly said?"

Happy shrugged. "Why would I?"

"Uhm, I don't know, maybe because it's kinda important, don't you think?"

"It ain't. Just some bullshit from a whore. I don't give a fuck 'bout what she's sayin' and neither should you."

"But I do. It's a lie, she never even met you except at the fundraiser! And it makes me mad."

"She just tried to lure away the church girl from us. Don't make such a big deal out of it, Faye."

She nodded, letting out a bitter laugh. "Yeah sure, I'll just stop care about you." Faye stood up again. "You still need me here or can I leave?"

He shrugged. "Whatever you want. She works at the library, right? She gotta work today?"

"Yeah she does, and I think so. Just see for yourself." She patted his shoulder briefly before she left the clubhouse with a soft groan.


	45. Chapter 45

Faye drove home again, just as she had promised Gemma. Abel wasn't there anymore, only her dad and Gemma. 

"Hey, I heard you couldn't convince the church girl?" Clay asked, frowning. 

Faye threw her bag in the corner and lit a cigarette, leaning against the kitchen counter. "No, it's Happy's turn now. So don't worry, I'm sure he can convince her. But can't you just kill this asshole and his stupid daughter? I normally don't like killing women, but that stupid bitch really knows how to provoke people," she huffed and took a deep drag of her cigarette. 

"Yeah, can't stand that bitch either," Gemma nodded. 

Faye saw that Clay would like to kill them too, but it was too dangerous as it seemed. "You think I don't wanna kill 'em? But we have to be smart, Zobelle isn't stupid," he said, pressing his lips together. 

"Whatever. If I see that girl again I'll do something." After those words Faye disappeared in her room, ignoring that her dad called after her. She changed her clothes, putting on a jeans, a top and her boots. There was still time before she had to work, but she needed distraction so she decided to leave already.

* * *

It was a few hours ago since Grace had left Juice's house. There was still an angry flame inside of her; she still couldn't wrap her head around their question. Nevertheless she tried to let it slide off, especially now she was working. She would talk to Juice later, hopefully he would come to his senses and realize that what he had asked her was unacceptable. She was just alphabetizing books when she saw a glimpse of a cut. Her heart skipped a beat as she raised her head, assuming it was Juice, but her eyes grew wide when it turned out to be Happy. 

"Come with me," he ordered in a low voice. 

Grace just stared at him, unable to say anything. The look in his eyes sent shivers down her spine. 

Before she could say something to him, Polly showed up next to her, casting Happy a cold glare. "What are you doing here?" she said, clearly tensed. "We don't lend porn magazines." 

Happy snorted. "Heard you had a vision where I was raping you, so I guess that's what I'm supposed to do now, huh? Any suggestions where we should do it?" 

Grace swallowed. He didn't even lower his voice; everyone could hear them talk. Shame filled her; she didn't want anyone to know that she was somehow connected to him. When Polly ignored him, his attention moved to her again. 

"Not gonna say it again. You're comin' with me." He leaned over to her, this time he did lower his voice. "Or do you want me to burn down that precious church of your daddy, huh?"

Grace's lips trembled. There was no doubt in her heart that he would really do such a thing. How was it possible that Faye was in love with this man? He was so cold, so ruthless... "Okay," she said softly, not wanting to attract more attention. 

Sighing, she followed him outside. She assumed he wanted to talk to here there, but he walked straight to his car. 

"What?" he huffed as she hesitated. "Afraid I wanna wet that pussy of yours? Don't worry, Juice already claimed that." 

Grace felt her cheeks get warm. Had he – had he talked about that with his friends? She felt so embarrassed that she wanted to turn around, but Happy's demanding glare made her step into the car anyway. "Where are we going?" she asked quietly, trying not to think about the trouble he was causing at her work now. He didn't answer. Grace stared out of the window, still not knowing what this all was about.

Happy parked the car in front of his house and gestured her to go inside. He wanted to be alone with her, so nobody would disturb them. She stared at the ground as she followed him inside her house. Happy had to admit he was surprised; he had suspected that she would totally freak out but she was remarkably calm. After entering the living room, he pushed her to a chair at the table and sat down across from her. He shoved a file towards her; pictures of Zobelle and his Arian friends. 

"You think you know Zobelle so well? Look at these. He ain't who you think he is. You know any of these men?" 

Silently, she shook her head. 

"They call themselves the Nords. They're a white supremacist gang, dealing meth amongst other things. Your good friend's protectin' them." He shoved some other papers towards her. They were fake, but Grace wouldn't know it. "You see these criminal records? They're some bunch of crazy motherfuckers. Felony assault, rape... Do I really need to explain to you what they woulda done with Faye if Miles hadn't stopped 'em? Wake up girl. They tried to kill her by causing that accident, they'd planned to rape her. This isn't some fairy tale kid, this is Charming and there are a lot of bad people livin' here. People that want to hurt your friend, just because she's the president's daughter. We protect this town, and these Nazi shitheads aren't happy about it and want us gone. Well, that ain't gonna happen." He looked her in the eye and saw how she was trying to take it all in. "You can stop him, girl. Maybe he hasn't raped someone himself, but he clearly doesn't mind hanging out with people who do. That's just as sick. Think about it. Don't do it for the club, do it for your friend. They already ruined her desire for children. You wanna wait until she's raped? Until she's murdered? You think you can live with yourself, knowing that you could have done something to save her?" 

Grace stared at the pictures, at the swastika's that were tattooed on their skin. There was no way around it; Ethan Zobelle clearly wasn't the man he pretended to be. She looked at the police reports again, to the crimes. To the many times 'rape' was written down. If she could save her friend from such a horrible fate with one lie, shouldn't she do it? This man clearly belonged in jail. Was she really let her friend suffer because of her righteousness? Shouldn't she help the system a bit, helping them to lock up this man? Sighing she raked her hands through her hair. 

"I... I have to think about it," she muttered. 

"You get 'til tonight," Happy said. "You gotta choose, kid. Between Zobelle and that whore of a daughter, and Juice and Faye." 

Grace bit her lip, sighing. That wasn't a choice at all. But she still hated what she had to do and it scared her to death.

* * *

Juice was back in the clubhouse and wasn't in a good mood at all. Maybe he should have tried to be more convincing, but he saw how hard it was for Grace, he just couldn't push her to do it. Maybe the others would be disappointed in him, he would totally understand that - but the thought hurt him. Grace was already disappointed and angry, he didn't need more people to be disappointed. Gladly most of the guys were in the workshop working on cars. Maybe he should apologize - again. Sighing, he took his phone. _I'm sorry... again. It wasn't okay to ask, but I'm worried about Faye, okay? And who knows what happens next, not just to Faye. It wasn't okay to ask you such a favor but it doesn't help if I keep telling you that. Told ya I'm not_

* * *

 

Grace called in sick at work; she couldn't bear the thought to be in one room with Polly, knowing with what people her father was hanging out. She knew she couldn't avoid her forever, but right now she felt too emotional. She looked at her phone when it was buzzing. It was a message from Juice, but she didn't know what to answer and shoved the device back into her pocket. She wanted to talk about everything Happy had just told her, but not by phone. 

"Can you take me to the clubhouse?" she sighed. "I want to talk to Juice." 

Happy shrugged, looking satisfied. A moment later they went into the car and drove to the clubhouse, without saying another word to each other. Grace felt relieved as she left the car. She had the feeling that everyone was staring at her, but ignored them and walked into the clubhouse to find Juice. She found him on one of the leather couches and walked up to him, awkwardly crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

"Hey," she said as she neared him.

Juice looked up as he heard Grace's soft voice, not sure if she was here to yell at him or talk to him in peace. "Hey," he muttered and stood up, leading her to his room. He had no problem with his brothers listening to their conversation, but he wanted to be alone with her. "Why are you here?"

Grace sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed. "Happy... showed me what kind of man Zobelle is," she muttered. She bent her head and stared at her knees, her curls falling in front of her face like a curtain. 

"At least you know now what kind of man he is. We wouldn't have asked if Zobelle was an innocent person - but he isn't," he told her, sitting down next to her. He still didn't touch her, he was too insecure right now.

"I'm scared," she mumbled. "Have you any idea how people will treat me as they think I'm raped by my friend's father... I mean, it will inflict my parents so much pain..." A tear glided down her cheek. "And what if he wants to take revenge? What if... what if he goes after me? I wanna help, Juice, but I'm... I'm scared."

"He won't take revenge, he won't even be in town anymore. And if he ever comes back, we won't let anything happen to you," Juice replied and he couldn't hold himself back anymore. Quickly he pulled her into his arms and wiped away the tear.

His words made her tense. He made it all sound so easy, while they both knew it wasn't that easy at all. He was familiair with this life, he should know better than her and she broke away from his arms, bending over. It felt like he was using her, just to get Zobelle away from town and didn't care about what would happen to her. "You know with what kind of people he has ties," she muttered. "They're not just racists, Happy showed me they were rapists too. They won't leave. What will stop them from coming after me if Zobelle pays them for it? Do you think I will ever feel safe again?" She started to sob. "Do you... do you really want me to take that risk? It just feels... It just feels like you're using me."

 "No, damn it. I don't want you to take that risk but it will help the club. He won't come for you, and if he does, he's a dead man. Why would I use you ? If I would, I wouldn't be worried! You really think that low of me? Thanks, Grace," his words sounded harsh - because they hurt him.

"I honestly don't know what to think anymore, Juice. I'm your girlfriend for what, two days? And now you're asking me to destroy the life of a man who caused Faye's car accident, who wanted to kidnap her, while he has friends who don't mind to rape girls like me! Why  _wouldn't_ he come for me, Juice? Why  _wouldn't_ he send those crazy people after me? What can you do to protect me, assigning a bodyguard to me for the rest of my life?" She wiped her eyes, she still had the feeling the impact that all this would have on her life did't get through to him. He was only seeing the benefit his club would have from this and it felt like she was a sacrifice he had just agreed to make.

"What do you want me to do? I'm not sure what's wrong and what's right, I'm trying to find a solution for both sides, but there is none. I don't want you to do this, believe me," he sighed, shrugging. "And I don't want you to have this life, but I want you by my side and... everything just seems to fall apart." Should he talk to Faye again? Or Happy? Faye would understand, but he wasn't sure if Happy and Clay would be happy about it, which made him fucking nervous.

"If you don't want me to do this, then why are we having this conversation?" Frustrated, Grace raked a hand through her hair. She didn't understand it. He was the one asking her to spread the lie, and now he claimed he didn't want her to do it? "I just... you're telling me that nothing will happen to me and that you guys will protect me, but if I ask you how you're going to do that, you don't know the answer. Don't you see how empty these promises sound?"

"I don't know, maybe because it hurts to hear you think that I'm using you?!" Now he was just as frustrated as she was. Growling, he rubbed his neck and sat down again. "I told you I won't let anything happen to you, yeah. I'd be around you twenty four hours. But it's okay, you won't do it and I'll talk to the others, okay? Or we can both tell them."

"But for how long, Juice? You can't be 24 hours around me for the rest of our lives!"

"I could be. One of us always could be around you, you saw it with Faye - she was protected 24 hours the last days", he looked at her. 

"Yeah, and it drove her crazy," she sighed, raking a hand through her hair. 

"Yes, it did," he admitted with a sigh. 

"Look, I want to help and I am prepared to lie for you if that will keep Faye safe, but all this just sounds like half a plan. It feels like we're just shifting Zobelle's attention from Faye to me. I mean, you know what he has done to Faye, just to send a message. Can you imagine what he will do to me if I have ruined his life? If he has a  _real_ reason to hurt someone?"

"Zobelle doesn't even need a real reason to hurt someone. But like I said, you're not doing it. Look, I don't want you to be scared, I want to make things right, easier. We'll tell Happy he has to find someone else for this, or I can tell him alone if you don't want to." 

She decided to let the subject rest, it was clear that he didn't even want her to do it and it pissed her off that his friends asked something like this from him. "Well, let's talk to Happy," she muttered, which wasn't exactly something she was looking forward to.

Juice took her hands and helped her to her feet. He didn't want to fight with her, especially not now her parents wanted to give him a second chance. Everything could be so good. "You sure you wanna tell him?" he asked, just wanting to be sure she wanted this.

"I do. It's my decision, they shouldn't blame you for the fact that I'm too scared."

"They won't blame me, they'll be just pissed for a while, that's all, I think," he nodded.

"Well, that isn't much of a difference," she muttered, standing up. She wanted to walk to the door, but before she left the room she changed her mind, turned around and pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry about what I said, about having the feeling that you were using me. All this is just... really overwhelming and scary and sometimes it's just hard to believe that you really want to be with me just for me."

Juice wrapped his arms around her. Sighing, he shook his head. "No, it's okay. I saw how shocked and scared you were. I'm sorry that we even asked," he whispered against her ear. "And why wouldn't I want to be with you, hmm?"

She looked up to him, stroking his cheek with the back of her index finger. "Because you are the most handsome man I have ever met and I'm sure you can get any girl you want. Not to mention that you're so sweet and that you make me want to forget about everything when you hold me." Her cheeks got rosy as she heard her own rambling and she quickly hide her face against his chest.

Juice grinned slightly when she hid her face against his chest. "Well, and you're the most beautiful and nicest girl I've ever met... for real," he chuckled, cupping her face. She probably really was the nicest girl he had ever met, and in his eyes also the most beautiful one - she wasn't like every other girl.

Grace leaned into him to kiss him briefly, then she went through the door. She rather stayed here with him, enjoying their embrace, but she was still very aware of the bruises and more touches could only evoke a reaction. Together they walked towards the clubhouse. Heads turned immediately towards them and it made her feel insecure – most of these men she hadn't even properly met – but she squared her shoulders and shoved at a table next to Happy. Juice sat down next to her. 

"I have thought about it," she said. "But I can't do it. I just don't want an enemy like Zobelle, I don't want him to send his rapist friends after me when he's gone." 

Happy took the girl's face in. She was no idiot; she had thought about the consequences. He glared at Juice, annoyed because he hadn't taken her doubts away. "He won't have these friends anymore when he's gone," he said. "He's protecting their meth lab, is offering them money. Once he stops doing so, they have no interest in his wishes. Your father is a respectable man, will probably become a liked one too. The Nords won't go after you, not if that means they have to stand up against all the common people of Charming, the cops  _and_ us. And Zobelle himself will end up in jail or he will flee and go back to Hungary, there's no way he can touch you. And even if he wants revenge, he woulda want to hurt the club, not all those church people." 

Grace bit the nail of her pinky. Right. Where had those arguments been when she had shared her doubts with Juice? She sighed and leaned back in the chair, peeking at Juice. What did he think? Did he change his mind, did he still want her to do this, despite the possible outcome? Despite the chance that Happy could be wrong about the commitment of the Nords to Zobelle?

"I neither want her to do it. No matter how careful we will be, there's always a chance that something will happen to her - and you know that," he said firmly. Happy glared at him, making him swallow. Great, he wasn't exactly happy about it, and it seemed like he wasn't going to give up. Juice however was stubborn as well. Now she had told him how scared she was, he couldn't let her do it anymore. "Why can't we look for someone else, hmm? Or find another way. But it's crazy to put her in danger now. Even if we can protect her, she has to live with this lie. She has to lie to her parents, her friends, to everyone," Juice said.

"You got a better idea?" Happy huffed. "Living with a lie is easier than living with the guilt if something happens to Faye, knowing she could have prevented it." 

Grace dropped her eyes. She could never live with herself if something happened to Faye now. If she would really do it, she would tell her parents the truth one day, even if the shame was consuming her. 

"Who else could do it?" Happy asked Juice. "Some whore? She's the epitome of innocence. Everyone will believe her, without a doubt."

"You think Faye or I can live with it if anything happens to her?" he huffed. "I want them both to be safe, okay?" Of course he didn't want anything happen to Faye, she was his best friend and he loved her like a sister, but he also wanted Grace safe. He put a hand on Grace's thigh, stroking across it with his thumb. "We don't have to send a whore. There are more innocent girls in this town. I'm sure somebody knows one of 'em."

"Fine. Get me one then," Happy answered shortly. 

Grace had bowed her head and looked at Juice's thumb stroking her thigh. She was glad that he was with her and that he shared her concerns instead of pushing her into something, like Happy was clearly trying.

"Okay, I'll get you one," he nodded eagerly. To be honest, he had no idea where to find anyone who would help them, not a innocent girl. His eyes wandered to Grace. "You wanna go home? Or back to work?" he asked in a soft tone.

"I called in sick after that cave man rushed in and threatened to burn down our church," she said with an angry frown. Happy smirked, there was no regret in his eyes but he neither seemed pissed that she dared to call him names.

Juice grinned briefly. He had to admit that she was pretty cute when she was pissed, but he didn't say anything. "Okay, wanna spend the afternoon in the park? Or we can go or drive somewhere else?"

Actually she was tired and in pain, but she knew no excuses and well - she just wanted to be with him. Intending to just swallow the pain, she nodded. "Both sound good," she said.

"Okay, let's go." He stood up, grabbed her hand and laced their fingers. He wasn't in the mood to have many people around him right now, but he was afraid to take her home with him.

Grace thought back to the first time he had offered her his hand, inside this same room. Back then she never could have imagined they would be a thing a month later. She squeezed his hand briefly as they left the clubhouse and walked to his bike.

Juice stroked the back of her hand and walked outside to his bike, handing her his helmet. "I'm glad you don't do it," he said honestly, looking at her. "Hey, uh, do you wanna watch a movie?"

Grace still hadn't decided, it felt wrong to endanger another girl, but she kept silent about it and put the helmet on. "Yeah, sure!"

"Perfect." He gave her a grin, pecked her lips and got on his bike. As soon as Grace was sitting behind him he rode to the movie theater. Maybe he could pay some girl to lie for them, he thought while he was on the way, even if it felt so wrong.

It felt so good that they no longer needed to hide. Her hand slipped into his as they walked to the movie theater, but she gave him a bit of an insecure look because holding hands might affect his bad ass biker image and she didn't know if that would bother him.

Juice smiled, even though he noticed her insecure look. "What?" he asked, squeezing her hand.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to walk like this." She swung their hands back and forth. "With other people around." For some reason she couldn't picture Happy and Faye walking around like this. "Because, you know..." she shrugged. "I guess it isn't very cool."

Juice chuckled softly. "I don't have a problem with it. Why should I hide that you're my girl now, hmm? I'm glad we can finally show everyone that we're a thing," he told her with a smile on his lips.

"Me too," she admitted and she smiled back, although it still felt strange that he called her 'my girl' - even though she loved to hear him say that. She lifted his hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "You make me happy, Juice. The past weeks were tough but I'm so glad you couldn't forget about me."

Juice stopped walking, pulled her into his arms and looked down at her. "I'm happy, too. And I think now that your parents gave me a second chance, it can only get better. And I'm really glad you still wanted me... after all those things I have messed up."

Touched, Grace stroked his cheek. "I think I would always want you." Even if that was wrong. She leaned into him and kissed his lips, forgetting that they were blocking people's paths and that they weren't alone at all. Just tasting him made it easier to let the whole Zobelle thing slide off, just for a minute.

Juice closed his eyes for a few seconds as she stroked his cheek. "I'm glad to hear that..." he said, his voice almost sounding relieved. He kissed her back, one hand sliding over her back just to pull her closer, the other hand was resting on her cheek. He didn't care about the other people, he only focused on Grace.

Grace flinched as he pulled her closer, putting pressure on one of the welts on her back. Luckily he didn't notice, caught up in their kiss. Her heart however wasn't fully in it, she was too afraid he would hurt her again, and after a short while she pulled back her face, grabbed his hand again and took him inside the building. "So, what movie do you wanna see?" she asked. "As long as there isn't much blood or supernatural things in it I'm fine with it I guess."

"I don't know. If you're more into romantic movies we can watch one. I think I'll survive it," he grinned, stroking the back of her hand. "You choose the movie and I'll get us some snacks, okay?"

Grace nodded, walked to the wall where the filmposters were shown and picked the most romantic one. She wouldn't let him say that twice, she couldn't wait to snuggle up to him in some dark corner. She bought the tickets and waited until Juice was ready.

Juice got the snacks and drinks for them before he went back to Grace, looking at the tickets. "That's like the most romantic movie out of all the movies here, right?" he asked, showing her a wide grin.

Her hand slipped under his cut and her forefinger traced up and down his spine. "Maybe I'm in the mood for a little bit of romance." She was surprised by her own words, especially because a seductive tone was hidden underneath them, while they had just decided to slow things down. Ah well, those were just words, those were safer than whatever touch would be.

Juice noticed the seductive tone in her voice immediately, wondering if she had forgotten about the talk they had. Not that he minded... "Maybe I could need a little romantic stuff too right now," he grinned as his hand wandered down her back, resting only a few millimeters away from her butt.

His touches hurt, but at the same time it gave her a good feeling, as if his touch was more intense than ever. Still she felt that longing again; to find a place where they were alone, so that her fingers could slip underneath his shirt. She leaned a little more into his embrace, so the pain increased as a punishment for that persistent desire. It didn't make it go away, but at least she had a feeling that things were even. She smiled, swung an arm around his waist and walked inside the screening room. It was the middle of the day, so it wasn't very crowded and they sat down on the back row.

It already was hard enough not to touch her in the way he wanted to, but this time he could pull himself together and resist to touch her butt or whatever - maybe because they were in public. It felt weird that he was afraid of such a normal thing, but if it meant that Grace would stay with him, it was worth it. Juice shoved his hand in the back pocket of her jeans and walked inside. The room was almost empty, there were only a few other people. He set the snacks aside on the seat next to him and put an arm around Grace's shoulder after they'd sat down.

Grace rested her head against his shoulder and took the hand that wasn't around her in hers. As the movie started she tried to focus on the screen, but it was hard to concentrate. His scent just knocked her off her feet, it made her want to turn her head, explore his neck with her lips. Her thoughts annoyed her, it felt like she just couldn't be around him without wanting to go physical and a relationship was supposed to be so much more than just that. However, she fought off the longing and kept looking at the screen, being a little more distracted as he picked up the box of popcorn and put it on his lap, and slowly her thoughts drifted away from her desires and were caught by the movie.

With his fingers Juice stroked up and down her arm. It was dark in the room, they were almost alone - of course he had some other thoughts too. But he also enjoyed it to be here with her so it wasn't so hard to suppress his other thoughts. While they were focusing, or trying to focus, on the movie Juice just watched her most of the time. "You're so beautiful, " he whispered.

It was a miracle how he could make that line sound like he was noticing it for the first time, and again his whisper caused goosebumps on her arms. She had fallen so, so hard for this man. She turned her head to the side and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek, and then on the corner of his mouth. She wanted to forget about the movie, wanted to crawl on his lap and give him a real kiss, but instead she turned her head back to the screen and squeezed his hand.

Juice sighed, enjoying the kisses she gave him. She was so close to his lips and all he wanted to do was to grab her face and kiss her deeply. Maybe he could do it, there were still people around so they couldn't go much further than kissing at all. But as Grace turned her head again he was sure she was trying to resist him. However, from this moment on he couldn't focus on the movie anymore. Instead he got lost in his thoughts. Thinking about all those things they could do drove him almost crazy.

 

 

 

 


	46. Chapter 46

After dinner, Faye was finally alone. Usually it didn't bother her when someone was with her, she loved her family, but the last few days she really hadn't had much free time for herself. She sat on the sofa for a while, enjoying the silence. Since the accident and surgery, she had barely paid attention to her appearance except perhaps once or twice. Once to seduce Happy, and once at Grace's and Adrian's event. All she wanted was to stop thinking about all those things; the thing with Zobelle and the fact that she could no longer have kids. She wanted to enjoy her life again, have fun, but that wouldn't happen if she kept just sitting on the sofa, waiting until her next shift started. 

"Something has to change," she said to herself, jumping to her feet and going upstairs to pick an outfit. Maybe she could impress Jay tonight! 

After she had changed, Faye looked in the mirror and frowned. In her eyes she had simply gained weight, which was not that unlikely. After all, she had been forced to eat the last few weeks because she didn't want Happy to notice. And neither Clay nor Gemma should know about it. It wasn't that bad, but she had just enjoyed dinner a little too much. Somewhat frustrated, she went to the bathroom, brushing her hair aside. In her opinion, all the food just had to get out of her, and as of today, she would definitely pay attention to what she would eat. 

After kneeling in front of the toilet, she stuck a finger down her throat until she could vomit. It's been like this for about ten years since she started to get interested in her looks. Of course she knew she had a form of bulimia, but she was neither too thin, nor was she feeling bad. And she had no problems with her circulation either - so everything was fine. 

After five minutes, she slowly got up, wiped her mouth, and brushed her teeth before looking at the clock. "Damn..." she mumbled, running back to her room and quickly putting on her shoes before she made her way to work. She still missed her old job and regretted that she quit, though she probably never would have met Jay otherwise - that was the only good thing about the new job.

* * *

When the movie was over, Grace took his hand as they left the row of chairs. "And? Did you like the movie?" she asked as they left the room. She leaned against the wall because it was quiet here and she wasn't in a hurry to go to the crowded place a little further ahead.

"Uh, well, I actually couldn't concentrate," he blushed slightly, rubbing his neck. "I had only eyes for you," he added and rested one hand against the wall next to her head, the other rested on her hip.

The way he stood in front of her now made him look so hot that she swallowed, especially with the words he added and the blush on his cheeks. "I didn't even notice that you were looking at me that often," she admitted.

Grinning, he leaned his forehead against hers and trailed kisses down her jaw. "How couldn't I look at you the whole time?" he whispered, his lips touching her skin again.

"Well, there were pretty girls on the screen too," she said with a smirk, her breathing faltering a bit as she enjoyed the kisses.

"But none of them were as pretty as you," he grinned, but he meant it. His lips wandered down to her neck, close to the spot under her ear. His hand moved upwards, over her waist.

"Hmm, I think you haven't watched to well then. There were actually some handsome guys in it too." She closed her eyes as his lips reached a sensitive spot and leaned with the back of her head against the wall, making sure her bruised back didn't touch the wall.

"Don't make me jealous." He laughed briefly, which allowed her to feel his breath more intensively on her skin. Slowly he kissed the corner of her mouth and looked at her with a smile.

Seeing and hearing his laugh, made warmth spread through her body. Smiling back, she flung her arms around his neck. "Well, you're the only one who gets this, so there's no need for jealousy," she whispered, giving him a kiss.

Juice pulled her close to him, his arms wrapped around her waist now he held her tight. "Good to know," he whispered back and he didn't hesitate to kiss her back. His tongue slipped into her mouth, stroking hers.

After a kiss that was getting so intense that she could feel his excitement as he drew her closer, she rested in his arms, her lips slightly touching his neck. "I'm so glad we don't have to hide anymore," she sighed with relief.

His hands stroked up and down her back in a gentle way. He barely touched her, but he still wanted to hold her. "Me too. It feels so... good."

She leaned back a bit more so she could look at him. "Do you really think you can find another girl who wants to help with the Zobelle thing, Juice?"

Juice tensed as she mentioned Zobelle's name. "To be honest ? No. Maybe if I pay someone... but it's almost impossible."

Her hands rested on his chest and she looked pensively at him. "Do you trust Happy with my life?"

"Yes, I do," he replied quickly, looking into her eyes. They all trusted each other and he knew that the club would protect her if she'd help them. "But I still don't like the idea."

"I would have been pretty pissed if you would have liked it," she muttered sighing, placing her hands on his hips. "I mean, the whole town is going to think that your girl is raped and that you let him live with that." She looked up to him. He was so occupied by doing what the club needed from him that she doubted that he really realized what influence this would have on their personal lives and also on their relationship.

"How could I ever like such a plan?" he sighed. Man, this was some serious shit and he was afraid that Grace would change her mind and do it. "I know that, don't tell me. See, I really want to help the club, they're my family. But I don't want you to do something like this. I'll try to find a girl, but if I don't, we have to come up with a different plan."

Grace laid a hand against his cheek and looked into his eyes for a moment. "If you don't want me to do it, I won't." Breathing calmly, she stroked his bottom lip. "But I don't think you'll find another girl who wants to do it and who's truly an innocent. And I - I don't want you to find another one." She thought about the possibilities for a while. Could she declare an anonymous statement? Out of safety? Raping was a tough and very sensitive topic, she didn't know if an anonymous statement would be enough. The police wouldn't understand why, assuming that her rapist knew who he had raped anyway, unless he had a habit of raping people. "Can't Happy just... do what he did with me? Threatening to let everyone see with who he hangs out, so that he will lose everyone's support?" she mused. "You know, it shouldn't be that hard to find a journalist who loves to write an article about it... Maybe I can even write it myself, I've done some reporter classes last year. Then I will only need the pictures as evidence."

"You think this would work ? Would they still know your name somehow? And I can get you the pictures."

Grace shook her head. "I won't use my name, as long as I'm not the one spreading the papers I should be fine."

"Okay, that sounds actually good. I'll talk to the others about it, okay?"

Grace nodded. "Sure. I can put something together tomorrow, then they can read it and judge it." She caressed his cheek with her thumb. "Does that sound like a plan?"

"It does... but please don't mention your name, Grace. Don't change your mind about that," he told her, looking into her eyes. He was still afraid that she would change her mind to please Happy and help Faye. "But it sounds like a plan," he whispered, kissing her once more.

"There's no point in adding my name to it if the pictures and the police reports show the evidence," she said. 

"Yeah, right. Guess I'm just going crazy about this thing," he said honestly and wrapped her arms around her waist. After a kiss he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Maybe you can come over tomorrow? Then I can give you the first draft and you can meet my parents. For real."

"Sure, why not. I think it's time to show them that I'm not so bad." He tried to stay cool, but inside he was freaking nervous.

"When they realize how happy I feel when I'm with you, I'm sure they'll like you. After all, they just want the best for me." Leaning against him, she looked in his eyes. As always when a goodbye was nearing she wanted nothing more than staying with him.

"Hopefully, but it makes me still nervous. I don't even know what to say to them," he muttered. He definitely had to apologize first.

"My dad will asks you questions," Grace assured him. "My mom will probably pretend that you aren't around, since her dream of Adrian and me together has just crushed, but she'll get over it."

"Oh great, now I'm more afraid of your mom than of your dad."

Grinning, she bumped her shoulder against his. "Come on, it's just my mom. Maybe I should tell her how nervous my bad ass biker boyfriend is to meet her, I'm sure that will soften her heart."

"You think? She probably will be even more intimidating then - knowing that the bad ass biker is afraid," he chuckled, pecking her lips. "Can I bring you home?"

She took his hand as they walked to the entrance of the building. "Yeah, you can drop me off home."

He nodded and let his fingers slide between hers as they walked outside the building. Once outside, he handed her the helmet. As soon as she was sitting behind him he rode to her house, enjoying the way her arms were wrapped around him.

The rumbling of the bike clearly had drawn her mother's attention, Grace thought as she saw her mother standing before the window. "She clearly couldn't wait to see you," she said on a chuckle, getting off her bike and handing back the helmet.

Juice cleared his throat, feeling nervous. Damn, what the hell was wrong with him? "I guess so. If I kiss you now, what will she do?" he asked with a small grin on his lips, taking the helmet from her.

"Maybe she'll ran outside and drag me by my ear inside," she laughed, "I don't know, overprotective moms are kinda new to me too. You wanna try?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Nope, now you have to live without a kiss," he chuckled softly, pulling her close. Hopefully her mom wouldn't do something like that. He gave her a loving kiss, running a hand through her curls.

She flung her arms around his neck as she kissed him back, not even trying to hold back, partially hoping that her mother would just see how serious she was about this man, how much she liked him. "Otherwise I would have claimed one," she said, pulling him into a hug.

The longing to deepening the kiss was there, but he couldn't do that, not in front of her mother. "Yeah? Maybe I shouldn't give in so quickly next time," he whispered while they hugged, his hand stroking her back.

"Yeah, you're just too impatient," she grinned, pecking his lips one more time. "See you tomorrow, right?"

"Can you blame me for being too impatient?" he asked, grinning. "Just text me when you want me to come over, don't have much to do I think." 

She pulled him close one more time. She actually wanted him to come over right now, but she had told him that she had plans for tonight so she couldn't do that. "I'll text you," she said. Before heading inside, she pecked his lips. Right before she went in, she turned around and watched him get on his bike, giving him a wink as he looked at her one more time.

"Do that," he pecked her lips one more time. 

* * *

With a tensed face Grace's mother stared at the couple. Her hands were clenched to fists. How could her daughter have fallen in love with such a man? She didn't understand it, especially not if she could have someone like Adrian. He was an angel compared to this dark soul. Her husband wanted her to give the man a honest chance, but how could she? This man had violated her daughter, had stirred up dark, sinful desires. She didn't want him anywhere near her daughter and she didn't understand why her husband disagreed with her. This couldn't be the man God wanted Grace to be with, so why even try? She would get hurt, there was no way around that. Grace's mother couldn't even think of one thing that she liked about this man and it felt like her daughter was just rebellious; as if she was only doing this to hurt her parents, especially by kissing him right in front of their house! Was it because they'd moved to here? Because she had to leave all her friends? It had to be some kind of revenge, for she really could't think of a reason why she would be genuinely interested in this scary man.

Grace's father watched his wife. He knew how skeptical she was about the guy - and he wasn't his biggest fan either, but he wanted to see his daughter happy. If he really would be a bad influence, he'd say something. But right now the guy deserved at least a chance to explain himself and his behavior from last time. "Don't you see how happy she is? Just wait until we met him, okay? Then you still can decide if you want to give him a chance, darling," he told her, rubbing her back gently.

"Her current happiness is the thing that's worrying me so much," she sighed. "I just can't forget about what he has done to her, what he made her do. Our little girl. No respectful man would ever have done that. He's at least ten years older, he's not a Christian and as it seems he's even a criminal. How could I not worry about her?" Sighing, she raked a hand through her hair. "Our daughter is wise, I'm sure she knows they have no future together and she's still pushing through. I have a feeling she wants to punish us for taking her away from her friends."

"I understand, but all I want for her is to be happy - and she is right now. I will never forget the words he said to me, I know exactly what he has done, but I think he said such things because I also provoked him. I don't like the fact that he's a criminal and I still hope Grace will find someone else, just like you did. But I want to hear his side," he sighed deeply. "And I think she really likes him, it's not to punish us. We can't do anything about it if it's real love."

"That you provoked him, doesn't change a thing about the fact that he violated her," she grunted, feeling the anger flare up again. She knew Grace lacked any experience with men and she just knew the guy had known that, seducing her to go much further than she had wanted. She wrinkled her nose as her husband mentioned the words 'true love'. It was ridiculous. Of course it was no true love, it was just something new for Grace, something that made her curious. Adrian would turn out to be her true love, she had known that from the very beginning. And sure, there were some things she could do about it - and she certainly would. She however dropped the topic as Grace walked into the living room, with a wide smile on her face and an enthusiastic voice as she greeted them.

"Juice is coming over tomorrow, if that's okay with you?" she said. "After dinner. So you can get to know each other."

Grace's mother swallowed an annoyed sigh. Great. "Just tell him to be sober this time."

Grace rolled her eyes. "He isn't a drunk, mom. I told you why he was drunk last time. That was because he thought he'd lost me."

Her mother pressed her lips together; Grace could feel that she was holding more harsh words back. She tried not to feel disappointed; tomorrow Juice would show them what a great person he was, and that there was a soft heart underneath that tough exterior.

Her father just listened to their conversation, sighing. "Let's not talk about this right now. We'll wait and see what happens. It seems like you had a nice day." He smiled at his daughter and really didn't want to destroy her good mood. She had been sad enough the past weeks, seeing that smile again was all he wanted. He glanced at his wife briefly.

"It was a good day," she said. "He picked me up from work and we took a drink, but every time he's around me I feel just so happy," she said with a blush. It was strange to talk so openly about her feelings to her parents, but she really wanted them to know how much Juice meant to her..

"I'm glad you had a good day, sweetheart. I look forward to meeting the man," he nodded, pressing a kiss on her forehead. She already knew they weren't Juice' biggest fans, but they didn't need to tell her that all the time.

Grace smiled gratefully and gave him a hug. "That really means a lot to me, and to him too. He's already nervous."

"He's nervous? Can't believe that." There was an almost playful smile on her father's face. Maybe he really wasn't such a bad guy. 

"Well, I'm his first girlfriend in over ten years," she said with a shy smile. "So in a way it's also new for him."

Grace's mother walked towards the kitchen because she couldn't keep herself from shaking her head. Since when had her daughter become so naive? Everyone could sense that was only a lie to make her feel special and it made her feel desperate that she couldn't warn her daughter.

Her father suppressed a sigh. Maybe she was his first girlfriend after such a long time, but he surely wasn't an innocent lamb. It showed that he had never cared about a real relationship and he was afraid that he would hurt his daughter. There however was still a chance that the man really tried to lead a good relationship. "I hope he doesn't disappoint you. But for now, you seem happy." He smiled briefly.

* * *

Happy left the working place as he heard a bike roll up the lot. He gave Juice an upwards nod and waited until he came closer. "So? You convinced you're old lady to do it?"

Juice shook his head. "No, I don't want her to do it, but we found another solution. She'll write something - anonymous. That should he enough for now."

Happy raised his eyebrows. "Right. She'll write something. What the hell will that be? Who the hell will fall for such a transparent trap? You really think  _that_ will scare him away? C'mon, Juice!"

"It'll help! At least it will scare some people. And if nobody wants anything to do with him anymore he'll leave. At least until he saves his image," he said firmly, looking at him.

Happy was a man of violent solutions so he didn't like the new plan - not for a bit. "She was about to do the rape thing," he grunted. "Why'd you talk it out of her head? Club first, kid. Don't forget that now you're so over the moon."

Now Juice got a little pissed. Happy had no idea how it was to have an Old Lady, he never had one. "I just told her that I don't want her to do it, and that's the truth. I always put the club first, but I still won't force a girl to do such a thing!"

"She was going to do us a favor man, got nothing to do with forcin' her into anythin'. You should do what you're told,  _that's_ what it means to put the club first!" Happy was annoyed by his own anger. He knew he was crossing a line; Juice was not a prospect at who he could yell and this hadn't been a club vote. But it bothered him - it had been a good idea and it would have kept Faye safe. This new idea of those lovebirds was just dumb and Juice was clearly already so pussy whipped he couldn't even think straight anymore.

"Doesn't mean I have to put her in danger. You saw what Zobelle can do! Faye can't have a family anymore and was almost kidnapped. Do you really think I want this to happen to Grace? Maybe he'll kill her right away," he growled. It annoyed him that Happy really didn't understand him. Sure, he wanted to help the club, but in a safer way.

Happy gritted his teeth. If he was honest, he wouldn't mind to sacrifice the girl if that would keep Faye safe, but he couldn't say that to Juice. "We woulda kept her safe until the guy was far away. You know that."

Juice laughed bitterly. His best friend had to suffer for the rest of her life because of Zobelle. "We couldn't keep Faye safe either, don't you see that? The accident happened out of nowhere, no one was prepared. As much as I hate to say it, Zobelle is freakin' smart. No matter how many people would watch Grace, he'd find a way to hurt her. He found a way to hurt Faye a second time. Yes, Miles was there, I know that. But what if that blonde bitch had a gun with her? She could've just shot Miles and Faye would've been gone for good."

"It's different with the church girl. If she gets hurt, it will not only affect the club, but the whole town. He won't risk that, he wouldn't want to be considered as a rapist a _nd_ a murderer and while we keep the cops at distance, he'll know the parents of the girl won't do that."

"I still don't want it, it's too dangerous. And I don't think that she can liave with that lie for the rest of her life. Sorry, man."

"Fucking coward," Happy spat, turning away from his brother before he would punch him in the face. "You can tell the others yourself, they're all counting on you."

Juice pressed his lips together. Great, they were all counting on him and he would let them down. But at least Grace was safe. "Whatever," he muttered, annoyance in his undertone. Before he'd say more he left the bar and headed to his room.


	47. Chapter 47

Grace raked a hand through her curls and looked at her mirror image. She wanted to do something special, wanted Juice to find her more beautiful than ever, but she had no idea how to do that. She couldn't wear a dress or something, like the first time he had seen her, not when her parents were around and not when they were still trying to live up to their boundaries. Despite the fact that she knew that he liked her, she was still insecure, she was still afraid he would be distracted by one of the many girls around the clubhouse. After staring a little longer at the mirror, she only added a little bit of perfume that she had bought a while ago. 

Returning to her room, she watched the clock. Juice would be there in ten minutes. To keep the nervousness away, she read the article she had written today once more. She was content about it; it gave an elaborate description of Zobelle's activities. It wasn't blunt hatemail, it was rather a political op-ed piece that was heavily tied to the mayoral election that was running now. She knew Zobelle financed Hale's campaign, so it gave insight in the way Charming Height's money was gained and that the biggest financier had ties to an Arian group of which various men were known to be rapists in their criminal records. She had ended with the question whether the people of Charming really wanted to support a man like Zobelle, who had no problems hanging out with people like that, which clearly showed that he agreed with their standards and values and should have no place in the peaceful community of Charming. It was good - it could work, she thought, and there were no lies in it. Satisfied, she folded the piece of paper and put it in the pocket of her jeans, so she could give it to Juice later. Hopefully it would be enough to make Zobelle leave, especially after the gossip would start.

Juice had talked to the others in the morning. Sure, some of them where disappointed, others were okay with it. Most of the guys with Old Ladies understood him, but not all of them. He however was glad that no one freaked out about it completely. Still, he had disappointed some of them, making him feel guilty. On the other hand he knew that Grace was safe, which made everything better. 

Before he left he wasn't sure if he should wear his cut or not, but it was a part of him and her parents knew that he was a biker anyway - so why pretending to be someone else? He walked up to the door and knocked, there was a big lump in his throat, his mouth felt dry and he was nervous. 

Grace's father opened the door and greeted him politely but still skeptical. "Come in," he said, taking a step aside so Juice could walk inside. 

Juice looked around, not sure what to say. 

"You want to drink something?" her father asked. 

"Uh, no, not yet, thanks," Juice answered, clearing his throat.

Grace had wanted to be the one opening the door, but Juice was early and when she reached the stairs her father was already there. She went down the stairs and stepped into the living room, where Juice was standing in the middle, looking around awkwardly. Seeing him like this was kinda cute; she imagined she had looked this way when she had entered the clubhouse for the first time. "Hey," she said with a slight shiver in her voice, giving him a hug and briefly touching his lips.

Juice relaxed immediately as soon as Grace was also in the room. He was still nervous, but it was way better with her around. For a brief moment he studied her and again he noticed how beautiful that girl was. "Hey," he smiled, hugging her back and resting a hand on her cheek as they kissed briefly. Not sure what to do now, he looked at Grace. 

Grace took his hand and led him to the couch, where they sat down, a little closer to him than her mother would like but she didn't care. She just loved the feeling of their legs touching, of his side against hers. Her mother was still in the kitchen making coffee, her father sat down on a chair close to them. "How was your day?" she asked, stroking her thumb along his.

"My day was good," he nodded. Juice caressed her cheek with his thumb and almost forgot that her parents were still here. But stroking her face wasn't a crime, right? He turned his head to look at her father. "I'm sorry for last time. It wasn't okay to say such things, I was just pissed..." he blushed slightly. "I mean... mad." 

Grace's father nodded, he had to give him credit for apologizing, even though he wished the man woud regret touching his daughter, instead of just talking about her so bluntly. "I want to offer my apologies too. I said some things that weren't right either." He gave a little smile and noticed how Grace supported her boyfriend by squeezing his hand. He had to admit that they looked sweet together and Grace was right, he was clearly nervous and wanted to leave a good impression this time. "So, what kind of work do you do, Juice?" he asked the man, briefly looking over his shoulder to see where his wife was. He had a feeling she really wasn't looking forward to this meeting and was still hiding in the kitchen.

Juice scratched his neck with his free hand, squeezing Grace's hand with his other. "It's okay, I think we both overreacted a little," he nodded briefly. Maybe her parents weren't so bad at all, her father seemed actually pretty nice. He however had no idea where her mom was, or why she didn't join them. "I, uh, work in a car workshop most of the time." There was no way he'd tell him what he really did, and actually he neither lied to him. 

Grace's father wasn't surprised, although he had hoped something better for his daughter. Someone who had gone to college, who had always gotten good grades. 

"Hey, you do a lot computer work too, right?" Grace said. "He's really good with computers - I mean,  _really_ good." Her eyes were shining as she looked at her father again, she was clearly impressed and wanted him to be impressed too. 

"Yeah, that's my thing. Cars and computers," he smiled at her. 

Grace's mother knew she couldn't hide forever and when a conversation started, she lifted the platter with the coffee and took it to the living room. She put it on the table, sat down next to her daughter and frowned. "Didn't he bring you flowers, sweetheart? Like Adrian did?" She looked around in a flashy way, although she'd already seen that the man hadn't brought her anything, which once more stressed his lack of a normal behavior.

As soon as her mother had came into the room, he got even more nervous. Even sweat formed on his forehead, but her words pissed him off. He hadn't done anything to her today. But damn, he really could've brought flowers. "I was so nervous that I totally forgot about flowers," Juice replied in a polite tone.

Grace doubted that was true; he just wasn't the flowery guy and she was glad about that. She liked him for who he was and he shouldn't pretend to be someone else around her parents. Her mother's question was really low and she had to keep herself from getting angry at her, for she knew she was just trying to make Juice feel more uncomfortable. 

"If I wanted flowers, I would have asked Adrian to come over," she shrugged. "But flowers are so overrated." She gave Juice a quick wink before she looked at her mother again. "Besides, he already promised me a ride on his bike under the starry sky, that's way more romantic than flowers." He hadn't - but her mom didn't need to know that and now they had an excuse to leave within an hour. She wanted some time alone with him anyway.

"Yeah, I thought that's definitely more romantic," he agreed, smiling at the blonde girl. His hand rubbed up and down her back. Damn, her mom just gave him a look that could kill someone, but she didn't say anything. 

Grace leaned over to take a cup and looked at Juice. "You want anything in it?"

Juice shook his head. "No, just black, please," he told her. His hand rested on her back as he forced himself to talk to her parents. "And... do you like it here?"

Grace's mother pressed her lips together. She liked everything about this place expect her daughter's lover, but even she knew she could't say that out loud. "We do. Most people are friendly and well-behaving," she however still said in an obvious tone. Maybe it was mean, but she wanted to provoke him a little, see if she could call up that dark side of him.

Juice noticed what she was trying, but he wouldn't give her that satisfaction. Instead, he swallowed the anger and smiled. "That's great to hear. Charming is a nice town. I'm still sorry for my behavior last time, really!" 

"We'll see," Grace's mother answered coldly. "So, tell us. Where is the name Juice coming from? You're clearly not a man avoiding alcohol." She saw something change on her daughter's face and she suddenly wondered if she even knew his real name. Would she finally realize that it was ridiculous that she already called this man her boyfriend?

Juice really tried to ignore her behavior right now. He swallowed the anger that rose up in him. "Many of us have nicknames, I got Juice. My real name is Juan Carlos," he nodded. It was okay if they'd call him Juan. His eyes wandered to Grace, almost desperately.

"But why Juice?" she asked. "Isn't a nickname supposed to say something about you? So what does it say about you? It certainly doesn't sound "cool". Does that make you the dummy of the group?" It was clear how uncomfortable he felt, it could never take long before he would get angry again. 

Grace was a little in her own thoughts since she had realized she had never asked her boyfriend such a basic question. However, when she did catch her mother's provoking tone she tensed. "Stop it, mom! Whats going on with you? You are never so disrespectful!" 

"I'm just trying to get to know him, Grace. It's a normal question and it will reveal a lot about him. I think you're the disrespectful one here, you never even asked about his real name!" 

Her cheeks turned red. "It just never came up. I like his nickname." 

"It never came up," her mother repeated, huffing. "That's because this whole 'relationship' is just ridiculous!"

Juice swallowed again. It became harder and harder to stay calm, to behave politely. The way she talked to her daughter made him really angry. "Grace, I wait outside. I'm sorry but..." he didn't even end his sentence. Damn, he liked the girl and he really wanted to do everything right - but right now he had to get out of here before he'd lose it. He pressed a kiss on her forehead, said goodbye and walked outside with quick steps, waiting for Grace. He took a few deep breaths before he lit a cigarette. 

"Mom!" Grace yelled, so loud that even the neighbors could probably hear it. "I'm even more ashamed of you then I was of him when he was drunk! Why do you say such things to him mom!" Tears brimmed in her eyes. "I can't believe that you don't even give him a chance! He is so sweet, he's really caring and all you can see are his tattoos and cut!" 

Her mother wasn't touched at all, she just snorted. "You're in love, Grace. You don't see what everyone else sees. I'm just testing him, Grace, seeing how he handles his anger." 

"You're not testing him, you're hurting him! Can't you see that? Can't you see how nervous he was, how difficult it was for him to meet you! I hoped you could give him the love that he doesn't get from his own parents, but you're... you're just mean!" Wiping her eyes, she stood up. "I don't know what you're trying with this, but I'm not giving him up, no matter how awful you'll act." She stood up, gave her father an disappointing look because he had let her mother bulldoze over him and left the house. 

Juice was standing outside, leaning to the wall, smoking and staring forward. He looked both angry and hurt, and sobbing she pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Juice! I really believed they meant it when they said they would give you a chance."

He threw his cigarette away and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck so he could inhale her scent. "No, I'm sorry. I should've just given her the right answers but I couldn't. I was overwhelmed and I didn't wanna say something that could piss her off!" He swallowed, pressing her even closer. "Your dad really tried, he was actually pretty nice. After what I said to him the first time I thought he'd be the one judging me... but he didn't." Juice raised his head so he could look at her, sniffing. "I'm sorry that I messed it up again, but it made me angry and I was afraid I would lose it." 

"No, stop blaming yourself.' She laid a hand against his cheek and waited until he looked up. "You did nothing wrong. My mother was testing you, she was trying to get you angry so that you would step the line again. But you acted like an adult, you maintained your calmness and actually I thought it was really impressive." She took his hands in hers. "You ruined nothing. My mom was horrible and still you answered politely; she definitely discovered that you're not the hothead that she thought you would be." 

Grace's words made him feel better, but he still wasn't convinced by them. Of course her mother wanted to test him, wanted to push him, see if he'd lose it quickly. And well, he had been close to hiss at her. "Yeah, I stayed politely. But if I wouldn't have left the house it would've ended different. But I'm glad you aren't mad at me." He gave her a weak smile while he kept caressing her cheek, running his thumb over her soft skin. 

* * *

Grace's father heaved a deep sigh as he looked at his wife. He hadn't wanted to correct her, not when their daughter was around, but he had seen her disappointed look and felt sad now. "They really like each other, Lorian. I watched them for a while; he was constantly looking for her support, for her approval, and his eyes are shining every time he looks at her." 

"Of course he likes her," she said coldly. "Who wouldn't like her? I just don't trust him, I can't stand him. I can't help it." She shrugged. "All alarm bells are ringing whenever he's around, it's just mother instinct. He will hurt her, can't you see that?" 

"But we're the ones hurting her now, Lorian. You will scare her away and she will only get closer to him. There is nothing you can say to her that will make her change her feelings for him and trying to make him misbehaving isn't working either. He wants this relationship with her, it was a wise decision for him to leave the room." 

"It would be a wise decision for him to leave her alone, to understand that she deserves better than a gang member. Because she does." His wife stood up and left the room. Grace's father watched her leave, sighing, then he stood up and walked to the couple in front of the house.

* * *

Grace was just about to kiss him as the door opened. Maybe it was ridiculous, but she took a protective stance between Juice and the door, although she relaxed a little when it was her father who left the house and closed the door behind him. He came to stand next to them and laid a hand on Juice's shoulder. "I'm sorry, son. My wife didn't treat you well, she's having a hard time to let go of her only daughter." He gave Grace a sad smile. 

"Why didn't you say something?" Grace asked. She was glad that her father apologized, but it felt a little too late; her mother had already chased Juice away. 

"It didn't feel right to start a fight. We've discussed it later." 

"Oh, and watching how she was talking trash about him did feel right? I'm so ashamed of you. I know you don't want me to hang around at the club or at his apartment, but do you really think we'll hang around here more often? He's not coming back here before mom apologized – and means it! – and yes, that means I'll be at places where you don't want me to be. But that's your own fault. I tried to do this in an adult way, but mom was behaving like a pissed teenager. She has to let go of the idea that I will fall in love with Adrian, for that's never going to happen. I like Juice. A lot. I can't help it, I know he's not what you had in mind for me, but it's just the way it is and you'll just have to accept it. Our differences are causing enough trouble without the two of you making things even harder for us!" Grace took a deep breath, surprised by her own speech, but she had meant every word of it.

His body tensed as he listened to Grace lecturing her father. All of her words gave him goosebumps. Damn, he'd never seen her like this expect after the bet. His hand rested on her upper back as he pulled her closer. "Grace, it's okay. I think it's already good that he allows us at least to spend time together," he whispered in her ear, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 

Her father's features changed. Now he looked overwhelmed, not sure how to deal with this situation - but he knew his daughter was kinda right. "I told you that I'll talk to her. This won't happen again, sweetheart. But we both know your mother, she wants only the best for you - and sometimes her temperament can be intimidating," the older man told Grace. 

She snorted. She knew her mother, she wouldn't change her mind so soon. Not now she had behaved like that. "I think we should go," she said to Juice, forcing a smile. "Wanna get that ride you promised me." She needed some time alone with him, there was an unrest in her body and she hoped it would go away when she was no longer around her parents.

He nodded briefly. "Thanks for giving me a second chance. I'll bring her home later," he told her father, grabbed her hand and slid his fingers between hers before they walked to his bike. There, he took a deep breath. "Thank you... for standing up for me. I hope this doesn't cause trouble with your mom."

"Oh it will," Grace answered, there was still fury in her voice. "I don't get angry often, but I'm really pissed now."

"I see that..." he couldn't help but smirk briefly. She looked kinda cute when she was pissed. "But let's forget about this and enjoy the rest of the evening, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan." Her arms slipped around him as she hugged him, her lips slightly touching his ear as she whispered: "Just take me to a quiet place where nobody else is around."

Looking down at her, he put an arm around her shoulder and shivered as her lips touched his ear. Taking her to a place where nobody else was around? Oh great. "You sure?" he whispered back, but against her lips. 

Grace felt that she started to blush and she dropped her eyes. "I didn't mean to... you know," she muttered, even though she doubted that was the truth. She did want to feel his hands all over her body, the thought alone already caused her a dry mouth, and for a moment she had forgotten what boundaries they had set. "Just going to a quiet place so we can talk. I wrote the article about Zobelle."

"No, it's okay," he smiled. It was actually a great idea. After this he really wanted some peace with Grace and this would only work when they were alone. "We'll find a quiet place, don't worry. And there I can read the article. I mean, if you want me to read it," he told her.

"Well I wrote it so you could use it so of course I want you the read it, dummy," she said with a smirk. "You should tell me if it will work or that I will have to change parts."

"Hey, don't be rude," he chuckled. "Okay, let's get away from here so I can check it out." Juice gave her the helmet and only a few moments later they left. He decided to drive a little out of town. Around twenty minutes later he parked the bike and got off. It was a park, not a big one and there were barely people were around, actually only two with their dogs. "I hope this is okay." 

Grace took his hand and squeezed. Now she was alone with him, the anger subsided and was replaced by butterflies. With a smile she kissed his cheek. "It's perfect." They walked for some time until they found a bench with a street lantern next to it, so there was light to read it. She handed him the paper and waited a little nervously.

"Good." Smiling, he followed her to the bench and softly pulled her on his lap before he took the paper. After he had read it once, he did it again, just to make sure he got everything - and it was a pretty believable article. "This is good. I guess the others will be surprised," he muttered while he still looked at the papers. 

Grace smiled as she played with his fingers, resting the back of her head against his shoulder. "I enjoyed writing it, especially because it's just the truth. It made me wonder if I should study journalism after I'm back from Africa."

He put the papers aside and wrapped his arms around her waist. With his lips he touched a part of her neck, pressing a soft kiss on her skin. "Thanks for this. It really helps. And yeah, maybe you should become a journalist, you're good in this," he smiled. Right, there was still a time when she'd be in Africa. 

"Thank you. It actually sounds pretty cool, traveling around and making documentaries or something, or writing articles," she said with a dreamy smile. She looked over her shoulder so she could see his face. "Did you always wanted to become a mechanic?"

"Means you'll be traveling a lot, hm? When do you have time for me then?" he asked with a smirk and he brushed some strands of her hair aside. "Yeah, I think so. I never was a guy who wanted to wear a suit just because of a job. Working on cars is actually pretty interesting." 

"Well you don't have to wear a suit for most jobs." She stuck out her tongue. "I don't know, I can see you make cool computer games or something." She bent back her head and kissed his jaw. "Maybe I'll need a personal mechanic when I'm traveling a lot."

"Personal mechanic sounds good."

Grace looked at his smile. It was still hard to believe that he was with her. She pulled one of the skulls from his fingers, put it around her thumb and leaned into him. "I like this place." She pressed her lips against his neck. "And I like you and just sitting here with you."

He watched her pulling one of his skulls from his fingers and smirked mischievously. "Yeah, it's quiet. But that's probably because it's so late," he nodded, his hands wandering over her waist down to her hips. "And I like you... a lot," he whispered. 

His whisper gave her goosebumps. She was aware of his hand stroking her side and she caught herself wishing that his hand would slip underneath her shirt. His touch was so addictive. She wanted to turn around on his lap and kiss him, but she didn't trust herself, not even in this public place. To distract herself, she started talking again. "You never told me the real reason you left Queens," she mused.

He was kinda glad that she asked that question, even though he hated to talk about his past. But right now it was better. He didn't want to go too far again, to scare her again. The man cleared his throat and shrugged briefly. "I had some problems with my mom. She kicked me out when I was eighteen after a huge fight. Never talked to her since." 

"That's more than ten years," Grace realized, shocked. "Why could't you get along? Do you... miss her?"

"She had her problems, I had mine... she never acted like a mother. My sister was always her favorite," he sighed. Of course it bothered him. "I'm not sure. Sure, she's my mom, but it's better not to see each other." 

Grace's thumb stroked the back of his hand. She was a little disappointed that he didn't elaborate on their problems, but kept it to a general explanation. She however didn't push; they hadn't had a lot of deep conversations and this clearly wasn't his favorite subject, even though she wanted to know more. "What problems did you have?" she asked carefully.

His fingers slid between hers. Maybe it would be good to finally talk about this since he never talked with anyone about this subject. "She wasn't the best mother and I wasn't the easiest teenager. We got into fights so often. I don't even remember all of them. I was just pissed that she was never really there for us. She tried, I can't deny that. She loved to spend time with my sister, probably because she was a girl and loved shopping and all that shit and I didn't." 

"That has to be hard," she sighed, wondering if her mother's behavior had triggered some memories.

"I got used to it," he shrugged. It was the truth, he got used to it, but it still felt weird. "Maybe one day I'll talk to her. I mean, I don't know anything. Maybe she isn't even alive anymore or whatever."

Grace turned a little more to the side so she could watch his face. "I can't imagine how it must feel like for your mother... Not having heard from your son for ten years... I think it's a woman's biggest nightmare, I'm sure she feels so much regret..."

He had no idea how his mother felt, but probably not bad at all. After he left he didn't change his phone number for over a year in case she'd call, but she didn't. "I don't think that if I'm honest. She was never that kind of mother." He wrapped his arms closer around her waist and buried his face in her hair, sighing.

She felt sad as she sensed that it bothered him more than he wanted to show her. "That she didn't know how to deal with you, doesn't mean that she doesn't love you, Juice, or that she doesn't regret how things ended." Her thumb stroked the knuckles of his right hand when she leaned against him.

"If she'd loved me, why didn't she call? Send a text ? She did nothing. Would you do that to your child? Wouldn't you want to know where your kid is even after you kicked it out?" he asked, swallowing. His hands started to sweat and he kinda felt anger rose in him now that he finally talked about his mother.

"Because she feels ashamed," Grace mused. "Really Juice, unless you tried to murder her, there's no way a woman wouldn't feel ashamed about sending her own kid away. I dare to bet you wouldn't even have taken the first calls, and after that, it will be harder and harder to reach out." She turned on his lap so she was facing him and caressed his cheek as she saw how much this upset him. "Ten years is a long time. It's impossible to estimate how she feels about you now, but I know you, I know that there is no reason not to love you."

He couldn't hide that smile on his lips at Grace's last words. "You think?"

"I'm sure of it," she said, feeling her insides glow as a smile returned to his lips. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she looked at him for a while. "I can come with you, if you ever are ready to give her a second chance. Or if you want to reach out for your sister. So that you don't have to do it alone?"

"I'd reach out to my sister first. And maybe one day I'll talk to my mom again, but I can't promise anything. But it would be great if you could be there then," he nodded briefly. "Thank you... for listening." He pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Anytime," she promised, caressing his cheek, kissing him back. 

 


	48. Chapter 48

Happy put a plate on the table with the dinner he had just cooked and helped his mother from the bed were she was lying most of the time. Usually his little brother or the social help was around, but his brother had taken a trip to the other side of the country for work and the help was sick. Happy didn't mind too much. His brothers knew how sick his mother was and they always gave him space when he wanted to spent some time with her. 

"How is my little boy?" she asked with a weak smile. 

"I'm good ma," he said. Despite the fact that she had asked him that question four times since he was here, he answered patiently. 

"Good! Very good." After saying a prayer she started to eat from the vegetables that Happy had cut in small pieces. "And how are the ladies?" She gave him a meaningful glance. 

Happy swallowed a sigh. For a long time his mother had seemed to have found peace with the fact that he would probably stay alone for the rest of his life, until his brother and his girlfriend broke up and the chance on grandchildren was spilled. "Nothing new," he shrugged. 

For some reason his thoughts however shot to Faye, making him wonder what his mother would think of her. She would like her, definitely. She was strong, but always kind and helpful. Just like his mom. 

"You aren't lying to me now, are you?" she asked, suddenly with a stern tone. "I saw your thoughts wander off. Tell me about her,  _mijo_. She has to be very special if she attracts your attention." 

"There's no one," he grunted. He didn't know if he was lying – and his mother saw that too. 

An understanding smile appeared on her face. "You're not ready to admit your feelings to yourself. You remind me so much of your father..." She winked. "Don't wait too long, my boy. If your father had known how short his time with me was going to be, he never would have waited so long." 

Happy sighed. His father had only been three years older when he died in a car crash, leaving behind his four and one year old sons. A silence fell, and his mother's facial expressions told him that she was sucked into the memory, from which it was harder and harder to escape as her dementia increased. He didn't try to lure her back, knowing she was reliving merry memories, where she was still happy and healthy.

* * *

Faye just left Jay's apartment, she couldn't hide there forever just to forget her feelings about Happy – and she couldn't avoid the clubhouse either. She missed hanging out there, it didn't happen often anymore since she had told Happy about her feelings. With a smile she walked inside and greeted the few guys who were there. 

"Hey, spent the night somewhere else?" Jax asked teasingly but also a little worried. 

Faye gave him a smile and nodded. "Yeah, I was at Jay's apartment. Where's Abel?" she asked.

"He's with Tara, you can come over later or tomorrow." 

Faye nodded again. "I'll call you before I come over." She kissed his cheek and only a few seconds later her brother left.

* * *

After Miles had basically saved Faye's life, he had thought that she might have grown to like him more, but up to now there was no evidence of that. Even more – he had barely seen her since, and when she suddenly walked into the clubhouse he was again stunned by how beautiful she was. He walked up to her, looking as casually as he could and said. "Hey, long time no see."

Faye looked up at Miles, smiling briefly. "Yeah..." she muttered. Actually she had no idea how to behave around him, not after that one evening, but he still had saved her life, and she was thankful for that. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he nodded. "How are you?"

"Me too, thanks," she said, folding her hands in her lap. "Thank you for last time. I wasn't much around the last few weeks but I'm glad you followed me."

"Me too... Rather not think about what could have happened otherwise." He said in a soft tone.

"Nah, better not," she agreed, she wasn't in the mood to talk about that. "So, anything new?" Faye asked. Sure, she could ask her father, but she didn't know any other topic to talk about with Miles.

"Not much. Have been some quiet days." An awkward silence fell and Miles scratched his neck. Damn, since when had it became so hard to talk to her? "You uh, you wanna play pool?" he asked.

Faye bit her lower lip and nodded. "Yeah, why not!" The girl smiled and walked over to the pool table. She had nothing to do anyway. "You start!"

"You gotta go somewhere tonight?" he asked. 

"No, I don't think so."

"We can do a drinking game?" He wanted to loose things up a bit instead of feeling awkward all the time.

She was not sure if she should agree with the drinking game. She remembered last time when he was drunk, but she could definitely need a few shots. "Okay sure. What kind of drinking game?"

"If I hit a ball in the hole, you take a shot, and the other way around?" Miles suggested.

 "Well, that's easy," she chuckled briefly, getting a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from the bar. "Okay, go on, start!" she leaned against the pool table.

The first two shots were for him and for a moment he thought he would be drunk within an hour without Faye haven taken a single drop, but the alcohol seemed to improve his pool skills and it didn't take long before they were both laughing and tipsy.

Faye wasn't sure where this would end, but her being drunk wasn't so good. She however was after a few shots. Not hella drunk, but still a little drunk. "Man, you're not even so bad in this," she chuckled, pointing at the pool table.

"There are actually a lot of things where I'm good at," he said with a flirty wink, feeling bolder now.

"Oh, I'm sure about that." She raised an eyebrow, a grin on her face. But there was no way she'd challenge that, not even now that she was drunk.

The more Miles drank, the stronger his feelings for Faye became. He wanted her. But how could he get her in his bed? She was no whore, he couldn't just send her to his room and if he was honest, it was a long time ago that he had to hit on a girl. Suddenly an idea popped in his mind. If he had been sober he would have known it was the most stupid thing he could do, but he wasn't sober and right now it was the best idea that crossed his mind. "So uh, you and Happy, eh," he said on a low voice. "Aren't you afraid I will tell Clay? You know... it kinda feels like my duty as a prospect to tell my President what I have seen..." He gave her a meaningful look.

A little confused she looked at Miles and frowned. "What the hell is that, Miles? If you wanted Clay to know, you would've told him already. So what kind of game is this now, huh?" she snapped.

Her temper amused him, it made her look even hotter. "I wanted to give you the chance to make me change my mind," he winked.

Faye got really pissed now. The first time he freaked out she thought it was because she had hurt his feelings. But this? This wasn't okay. "Are you trying to blackmail me, Miles?" Wow, this was some serious shit right now and she had no idea what to do. Would he really do that? Or would he forget about this conversation when he was sober again?

"Maybe I am," he nodded, feeling more confident than he ever had done before around her.

 "You stupid idiot," she snarled. "What the hell do you want me to do, hm?" Maybe it wasn't as bad as she feared.

"First I want you to lower your voice, unless you want everyone to know about your adventures with Hap." His fingers were tingling as he felt the urge to touch her, but he kept himself from doing it with the others around. "Well, I bet you can think of a way that makes me want to keep your secret."

Faye raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "And you should overthink your attitude towards me." She already regretted that she had spent time with him. "Well, I could teach you how to suck a dick so I don't have to do it."

"I rather suck other things," he said with a smirk. "Come on girl, we both know you'll like it. What's wrong with a little bit of fun?"

She grimaced. Already the thought of doing things like this with him drove her crazy – and not in the good way. "No, I don't want to have fun with you. Seriously, just tell me what you want and then we'll see what happens."

"I want you, Faye," he answered in a low voice. "I want you so badly I'm even prepared to give up my patch. But know that I'm not the only one losing his patch if you tell anyone."

She swallowed hard, trying to find a way how to get out of here. But Miles was serious and she didn't like that. "You would really tell my dad? Shit... you're an asshole." The girl pressed her lips together, nodding. "Fine. This is a one time thing, you got it? I won't let you blackmail me again."

"Yeah, sure. Just for once," he promised, knowing she might tell the others if he pushed her for more.

"Don't expect me to do much, just fuck me and leave me alone after that. Oh and... get a condom, who knows how many croweaters you've fucked," she told him, there was no emotion in her voice. The girl didn't know if she was pissed, disgusted, sad or whatever – she just wanted to get it done.

Miles could hardly believe she would really do this and he nodded eagerly. "Sure, got plenty of 'em," he smirked. "Okay, see you in my room in a few minutes?" Miles went to his room and waited on Faye, already with a hard one as he imagined how they would do it. What would she like? A bit rough, he guessed, since Happy wasn't famous for his tender moves

"Yeah, whatever..." she muttered, bowing her head and going to the dorms and directly into his room. God, she hated this – and she hated herself for doing it. But she couldn't risk that Happy would lose his patch. Sure, she could call him and tell him, but he was with his mother and she didn't want to bother him with one of her problems again.

Sighing, she entered Miles' room and shut the door behind her. Without saying anything she sat down on the bed and stared at the floor. 

"So how do you like it, Faye?" He asked, standing up and taking off his shirt.

"You really ask how I like it? How nice of you," she gave him a fake smile, rolling her eyes as he took off his shirt. "We don't need to be fully naked."

"I want all of you," he said, feeling annoyed because she was making such a big deal of it. "And I want you to enjoy it."

Faye's bottom lip started to tremble. Why was it so hard? She was single and it wasn't the first time she'd fuck someone. Slowly, she stood up and took of her clothes until she stood in front of him with only underwear.

Miles bit his lip. Damn, she was so hot. He took off his pants and pulled her close, eagerly kissing her while her bare skin touched hers, sending a shiver down his spine. He didn't know what it was with her; right now he desired her more than his top rocker.

She couldn't kiss back, she just couldn't. Instead a soft whimper left her lips as their bodies and lips touched. "Miles, I-I can't do this. Just do what you have to do, okay? No kissing and all that shit," she whispered.

Miles let out an annoyed sigh. "Don't make such a big deal of it. It isn't like you're a virgin or something, just give me a good night cuz I deserved that after saving your arrogant ass."

She tried not to look hurt, but she was – she wasn't arrogant at all. "Yeah sure..." she huffed. Slowly, her hand wandered down to his manhood where she started to give him a hand job.

As soon as he felt her hand around his dick, his anger faded. "Ah yes," he moaned as she started to jerk him off. He took off her bra and massaged her breasts, sucking the soft skin of her neck. He pushed her on the bed as his excitement increased. Since she had also slept with Happy, he assumed she didn't need any foreplay and he pushed himself inside her.

She wanted to roll her eyes so badly but she didn't dare to. But at least he skipped the foreplay part, which was a relief. Another whimper left her lips as he pushed himself inside her. She wasn't turned on, wasn't wet enough so it just hurt. But to satisfy him she gave him a fake moan, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I knew you would like it," Miles grunted, thrusting deeper inside. He tried to control himself, tried to postpone his release, but she was so hot and he wanted this for such a long time that he couldn't stop himself.

Faye shook her head, letting out a soft sob, tears itching in her eyes. "I'm pretty sure you don't like me as much as you said. Otherwise you would never have done this!" 

"I know you liked it," he grunted. "You can drop that hard to get act now." He rolled off her as his release had came to an end and stared annoyed at the ceiling. The mood was definitely killed now.

"Oh fuck you", she hissed. It wasn't her problem if he believed it or not, he got what he wanted, that was all that mattered. She got dressed again, but before she left the room she turned around again. "If you tell Clay one thing about Happy and me, I'll tell him what you just did. You better stay quiet." After that she stormed out. 

Miles sighed, but decided to let it not overshadow his mood. He'd never planned to tell Clay anyway and he finally got what he wanted, so why would he complain?

Faye didn't talk to anyone as walked out. Quickly she made her way home and took a long shower. She felt dirty, used and the worst part was that she even hadn't said no. Instead she just let him fuck her – out of fear that Miles would tell anyone about Happy and her. Should she tell Happy? Probably not because there was a chance that Miles would be a dead man then. But on the other hand he should know, it was also about him...


	49. Chapter 49

It had been a month since Grace had officially introduced Juice to her parents. Her mother still didn't regret her behavior, so she hadn't invited him over again. There had been one evening on which her mother hadn't been around, on which her father had asked if she would like to invite Juice, but he had cancelled last minute because of some club matters. Grace had the feeling things were going well between them. Well – not fantastic. They talked a lot and by now she thought to know him pretty well, but she found it hard to be alone with him. He often took her for a ride and they made a lot of evening strolls, even when they were at his home. It happened every time when the tension rose, every time when they were afraid they could no longer control themselves. 

The memory about his fingers on her skin seemed to fade, and the longing was only there when he was around. It was doing her good; it had been two weeks since she had used her belt and she had the feeling she was finally passed that struggle; that they had finally found a way to make this work. Still she was careful, she hadn't visited the clubhouse because she didn't know what alcohol would do to her and they had never gone to his bedroom again; there was even a distance between them when they were sitting on the couch. She saw him only three evenings a week – and there were a lot of times he had to cancel. She had gotten used to it and didn't mind too much; she was busy learning Portuguese and still had a lot of preparations for her trip to Africa. Tonight however there was no way around the clubhouse; Faye had told her she wanted to introduce her boyfriend and had asked her to be there too. Grace had agreed. She hadn't told Juice, she wanted to surprise him for there had been different occasions on which he had tried to get her to the clubhouse, but she had found (good) excuses every time. But not tonight. Tonight she would be there for her friend and she hoped that Juice would like the surprise. She had bought herself a dark green dress that she would wear; it might be a bit risky since it might only encourage Juice to try something, but up to now he had held himself back very well and she didn't want him to show his girl around while she was the only one wearing a jeans and long sleeves.

* * *

The last month had been quiet, not much had happend, except the fact that she had gotten into a relationship with Jay. She liked him, she really did, he was a nice guy and treated her how a man should treat a woman. But still she couldn't fall in love with him, no matter how hard she tried. She however was sure this would come one day. Her feelings for Happy weren't gone, not a bit, but she shoved them away pretty good for now. Miles had left after he had forced her into sex, so she was no longer afraid that he would tell Clay something. 

Faye just entered the clubhouse with Jay, holding his hand. The only person who already knew about them were her mom and Juice, and she wanted to change that. "Woah... I think I'm more nervous than you are," she chuckled softly, pecking his lips.

"I doubt that," Jay answered, squeezing her hand. He wasn't a big fan of the bikers; even though he had not really something against them. Some just scared the hell outta him and he was afraid that they would find him a pushover.

Faye just looked at him for a moment, then smiled. "Hey, I'm sure they'll like you and I'm also sure you'll like them. They're cool, don't worry." She pulled him closer and kissed him again, this time a little longer than before. A little nervous, she took a step back and dragged him over to a few people. Her dad wasn't around yet but he had already told her that he might be a little late. Her hands rested in the back pockets of her tight black skinny jeans.

* * *

The last month went well but was tough too. Grace and he had spent a lot of time together, even though he often had to cancel a meeting. He had given the report Grace had written to Clay and the others, and in the end everyone was happy with it, which was a relief to him. And so Grace was not in danger either. Her mom was still not thrilled that he was with her daughter, but her father was friendlier and really tried to accept their relationship. Which made the relationship a bit easier, at least the two didn't have to hide anymore. Still, it was a bit difficult. Of course he felt the need for more intimacy, it was always hard not to go too far, to hold back - which sometimes made him simply stressed and sometimes he despaired of it. Sometimes he wasn't even sure if they would ever sleep together, if only because she wanted to avoid it before a wedding. And her parents wouldn't allow a wedding, and the relationship was still too fresh for that. But he enjoyed the moments in which both just sat together arm in arm, talking about things and feeling carefree. 

Today, Faye wanted to introduce her new boyfriend, knowing fully well that she still had feelings for Happy - but he was by her side, after all, she was his best friend. Just as he came out of his room, the redhead with the guy was already there and he went straight to the two, hugging Faye and reaching out his hand to Jay. "Hey, I'm Juice," he introduced himself, even if the two had met briefly before. He wasn't sure yet if he liked the guy, but he would give him a chance.

"Hey Juice." Jay shook his hand. He had seen the man before, he was hard to forget with his strange haircut and head tattoos, but he couldn't remember that they had spoken to each other before. "Nice to meet you." He let go of his hand and swung his arm around Faye again.

Juice nodded. "Nice to meet you too."

Faye bit her lip, hoping they would get along. For if he couldn't get along with Juice, there wasn't a chance for a future together . "Ah, I'm sure you'll like each other," she said, her voice full of excitement. 

* * *

Grace's hands felt clammy as she entered the clubhouse and took off her jacket. Her mother hadn't been too happy about the dress that she was wearing, but she had kept it to a disapproving glance this time, as if she was slowly letting go of her daughter. She looked around in the crowded clubhouse. There were a few familiar faces, but no one she really knew came into sight. She had just hung up her jacket as Kip showed up next to her. "Hey!" she kissed his cheek, it had been a long time since they had seen each other; they hadn't hung out since she was together with Juice.

Faye looked around when she heard someone coming in. "Grace, hey!" She had been afraid that Grace wouldn't come, but she had. "Come over!" 

Juice spotted Grace as well, his eyes studied her from head to toe. Damn, she was so fucking beautiful. He didn't even wait for her to come over, instead he walked over to her, grabbed her face and kissed her deeply. It surprised him that she was here, it was almost a wonder since she tried to stay away from the club. Sure, she had good reasons, but now he would make sure that she wouldn't leave so fast again.

Grace was a little overwhelmed when Juice stood suddenly in front of her and kissed her in public. Not just a greeting kiss; it was a passionate kiss that made her cheeks flush. A bit shy she looked at Faye; she hadn't even been able to greet her. "Hi," she said to both of them.

Juice put an arm around her shoulder after he had let go of her. She was probably here because of Faye, and he asked himself why she'd come for her but not for him. "Hey, what brings you here?" he asked. 

She felt very special now his arm was around her and everyone could see that he belonged to her. "Faye asked me to come and meet Jay, and well, you asked a couple of times for it too so I wanted to surprise you."

Juice looked at her, stroking some strands of her hair out of her face. "I'm surprised! And it's great to have you here. Isn't that bad at all, huh?" he asked, grinning.

"This place can't be bad when you're around," she said with a with a wink.

Faye's smile grew even bigger as the couple neared her. "I'm glad you're here," she said after she walked over to her too, hugging her. "Wow, you look great. This dress looks like it's made for you!"

"Thanks! I saw it in the shop window and I just couldn't leave it there." 

"Good choice!" She looked at both of them, smiling. In her eyes, they were the perfect couple. Sure, they had their tough times, but she really shipped them. "I leave you two alone for a moment." The young woman went back to the others and couldn't help but look around, hoping to see Happy. 

* * *

Jay had felt a little lost when Faye had walked away. He hated that feeling; he didn't want to be depended on her and he was a spontaneous guy, but he knew that Faye was everyone's little princess and that he was risking his life if he would ever piss her off; there were like ten brother or father like types around her. As she returned to him, he wrapped an arm around her waist. "That's Grace right?" he asked, since she had spoken a lot about her friend, and they had gone to the fundraiser she had organized too.

Faye nodded. "Yes, that's Grace. I'll introduce you later to her, just want to give her some time with Juice," she explained. "You don't really feel comfortable around here, right?" It was obvious that he didn't. But he probably could accept the club still better than Adrian back then. It still made her a little sad. Her lips trailed soft kisses down his neck before she rested her head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his waist. And then she saw him. The man she'd always love more than any other man. Her stomach cramped while she stared at Happy. She didn't even notice that she was staring.

Jay shrugged. "I can feel that everyone's protective like hell and that they don't know what to think of me. But don't worry about me, soon they will all know how awesome I am."

Faye looked up again, grinning. "Well, they're protective, yes. But they just need a little time to find out what an amazing guy you are," she smiled, putting a hand on his cheek and kissing him gently.

Jay kissed her back eagerly, but decided not to be too clingy. "Tell me, with which of these guys should I try to become friends and from whom should I keep my distance?"

Faye looked around, thinking. "You can definitely try to be friends with Juice, he's really great. Actually you should become friends with everyone," she chuckled before she gave him a sweet smile. "But stay away from him please," she titled her head in Happy's direction.

* * *

Happy glared at the guy that was holding Faye. He hated the sight of the two. She deserved a good man, but this guy was clearly a prick and he just didn't like him. Maybe he was prejudiced; he hadn't forgotten about his mother's words. The past weeks he had wondered if it could be true, if he could have feelings for her. Not that it mattered; Clay would never allow him to have a relationship with his daughter; he would be too afraid that she would discover the truth about her mother. He took a beer from a prospect and looked around. He was a little surprised to see Grace around; that thing with Juice lasted way longer than he ever could have imagined. He still believed she didn't belong here, but she had done a good job by writing an article about Zobelle's activities. It had stirred up quite some unrest, people had avoided him, had whispered about him and in the end the guy had just left. Happy could see him coming back, but since he didn't know who had written that text, he wouldn't know how to blame. Maybe that piece of shit would stay away for good.

* * *

Jay followed her gaze to a man who wasn't exactly the most merry man around. "He was your guard, right? Why should I stay away from him?"

"He's not that much of a friendship guy, that's all. You can talk to him if you want, but it's easier with the others." She gave him a sweet smile. It would be weird if the two of them would have a conversation, that's why she wanted Jay to stay away from him.

"Okay!" He kissed her cheek. "And which one is your brother?" He wanted to know; if he had to impress anyone it should be him.

"Wait..." She looked around to find Jax, who she found a few seconds later. "You see the blonde one next to the brunette woman? That's my brother." Faye pointed at Jax and dragged her boyfriend with her. "Jax? This is Jay, the guy I'm dating since a few weeks." She watched Jax turn around and study Jay. 

"Hey, I'm Jax. Already feeling comfortable around here?" the man asked with a slight grin.

"Yeah, it's a nice place," Jay nodded, looking around. There were a lot of scantily dressed women, but none was as beautiful as Faye.

"It is. I hope we'll see you around more often. Door's always open," he told him. 

Faye saw that Jax tried to give him a chance and hopefully they'd get along well in the future, although she didn't worry too much about that. "I'll get us a beer." She kissed him briefly before she walked over to the bar to get two beers.

* * *

Grace wrapped her arms around Juice's neck and rested her forehead against it. "I've missed you," she admitted, since it had been a few days since they had seen each other.

"Then maybe you should stop by more often now, hm? Would be great," he said. His hands rested on her hips, stroking up and down her sides. "I've missed you too baby. You think you can stay here for the night?" Juice waited for an answer, looking into her eyes with that usual smile on his lips. 

Grace held him a little tighter. "You know I can't," she muttered. "Even though it has to feel great to wake up in your arms."

Juice sighed. "Come on, one night. Just give us one night together," he replied. Of course it would be hard to keep their hands of each other, but he wanted her with him for longer than only two hours.

Grace frowned, there was something compelling in his tone that she didn't like. "You want one of my parents drag me out of your bed in the middle of the night? Cause that's what gonna happen then."

"No, of course not. All I want is you in my arms when I wake up. Damn, we're in a relationship, Grace," he sighed deeply. Her parents, especially her mom, really started to piss him off. 

She softened a bit as she saw how difficult it was for him. "Next weekend they are going to take a trip outside the city. Then I'll stay the night, okay?"

"Okay fine, better than nothing," he agreed, hoping that she'd really stay with him next weekend. 

Grace swallowed a sigh. She had been really looking forward to spend the night together, even though she would disobey her parents, but he made it sound like some consolation price instead of something special. She understood him, she really did, but she couldn't change much about the situation either. "I wish things were different too, okay? But sharing a bed, even if we don't do anything, is something I'm not allowed. If my mom knows about it, she won't let me leave the house again."

He took a deep breath, nodding. Well, he had to accept the fact that her parents still forbid her such normal things, even though she was twenty years old. "Yeah, I get it. I just wish things would be easier, you know?" Juice sighed, wrapping his arms closer around her waist. He didn't wanna fight or seem rude, not when she only had a few hours to stay.

"I know..." She studied his face for a while. Since they had been together he hadn't had a single release, unless he did it himself, which wouldn't surprise her, but she hadn't dared to ask him if he needed her to do that and the thought alone right now made her cheeks flush as she pictured him naked accidentally. "So eh, you already met Jay?" she asked to distract herself.

He noticed that her cheeks flushed, not sure what she was thinking about but she always looked cute. "Uh, yeah. He's okay, haven't talked to him much. I'm not sure if all of this makes sense, but as long as Faye's happy," he shrugged. "Did you never met him before?" 

"I have seen him at the fundraiser, but we didn't talk." She had to agree with Juice; she wasn't sure this was the right thing to do either. Faye had tried to be with someone else than Happy when she was with Adrian and it hadn't worked, but on the other hand she understood that her friend needed to do something. "I just hopes he really makes her happy," she sighed. "And that she forgets about... the other one."

"Yeah, I hope that too. I mean, she looks happy, but she isn't. Sure, she likes him a lot... but he'll never be Happy." He shrugged briefly. "You wanna drink something?" Juice asked her, stroking her cheek.

"Yeah, sure. I'll walk with you," she said as she saw that Faye was also heading to the bar. Her hand slipped in his as they walked to the bar and she smiled at her friend when they reached her. "Hey. So, does he feel more comfortable around here than I did the first time?" she asked with a wink.

Faye turned to the side when she heard Grace and smiled sweetly. "I'm not sure yet... but I hope so," she chuckled softly, taking a sip of her beer. 

"He seems easy going, I'm sure he finds his way," Grace smiled. 

"I think that too. And you'll also get used to it," she smiled. "How long will you stay tonight?"

"Um, until midnight again, I guess."

"Okay! And between you two, everything okay?" Faye knew that it was hard for both of them to stay away from each other, especially for Juice, and she hoped they wouldn't get in an argument about that one day.

Grace smiled as she looked at him; he was talking to one of his brothers who had a large scar. "I think we do. He finds it hard that I can't stay the night with him, but he isn't pushing me into anything. To be honest he deals better with the no sex thing than I expected."

"Well, it is pretty hard for him. He's frustrated half of the day but he never tells you. Juice really likes you, that's why he respects your wishes," she sighed softly and ran a hand through her hair. "Every other guy here would've freaked out, be glad you fell in love with Juice." Faye gave her a warm smile.

Grace dropped her eyes. "I... I didn't know he feels so frustrated about it," she muttered.

"He does... and you have a right to know that actually." She put an arm around her shoulder. 

 "We kinda agreed that I would give him a hand job if he really needed a release but he never... asked for one." She blushed, saying that out loud sounded ridiculous.

"Hey, don't feel bad, okay? Doesn't change the way he feels about you. Maybe he's afraid to ask you? I don't know, but his feelings are real and that's all that matters." She didn't want her to feel bad, she just wanted to tell her the truth.

Grace smiled. It was hard to imagine that he didn't dare to ask that, sex seemed as natural for him as breathing. "Faye..." she asked hesitating, a glow spreading across her face. "Can I... Can I ask you how far Adrian and you went?"

Faye raised an eyebrow, surprised by Grace's question, but it didn't bother her. "Well, we slept together. Why?"

"Only... Sleeping?" she asked, doubting that. "It's just... A taboo within our community, I'm curious how others deal with their feelings. There's a lot between doing nothing and doing everything, but I don't know what we should and shouldn't do and how to stop ourselves," she sighed. "Because when he touches me I... I always want more," she said with highly red cheeks.

"Uhm well, the first weeks we only did some foreplay, but eventually we had sex a few times. I however had the feeling he never felt truly comfortable. I'm sure he liked it, but I think you know best how he felt." She squeezed her shoulder gently. "Of course you want more. All of this is still new for you, I'm sure you want to try some things, even though you can't. And Juice is a hot guy," she shrugged. "Don't think about it too much. If it happens, it happens... and if not, he'll want you anyway." 

"Well, we've already tried a lot of things," she admitted with a blush. She raked a hand through her curls. She thought about Faye's words. "Wow, I never thought Adrian would do that," she said, fully surprised, but also a bit relieved because it meant that it probably wasn't as uncommon as she thought.

"Well, he did. It took a while before he was ready for it, I didn't force him or something."

"No, of course you didn't," she said quickly. 

* * *

Happy saw that Faye's new fling was looking around a bit lost. Normally he wouldn't have cared; it wasn't his task to make him feel comfortable, but he wanted to ensure himself that it was a good man that would give the girl what she deserved. He walked up to the man, giving him a nod. "So, you're under the spell of our lil' princess?"

Jay looked at the tall man and frowned. That was the guy who wasn't the friendship type - at least that's what Faye had said. "Yeah... I'm Jay, nice to meet you," he replied politely.

"Happy," he said, briefly looking over to Faye before he turned his attention back to the man. "If you ever hurt her, you be a dead man. You know that, huh?"

Jay swallowed softly. Happy was intimidating, he had to admit that. "I won't hurt her, man, I really like her," he answered firmly, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

"Yeah? What do you like so much about her?" He wanted to know, trying to figure out if he considered her as more than just an easy fuck.

"She's great, beautiful, caring. I have no idea how anyone couldn't notice that. But I'm lucky to have her." he said completely honest. 

"Oh many have noticed," Happy said in a dark tone. "And many know not to mess with a girl like that."

"A girl like that? Hey, I get she's the little princess around here but I really like her - believe me or not." Maybe he shouldn't talk to him like that, but he also wanted to show him that he really cared about Faye. 

Happy smirked, at least he wasn't a pussy. "Good. Want a beer?"

Jay was kinda confused. Was he just testing him? "Sure," he nodded quickly.

Happy gestured one of the two prospects to get them a beer. He still had to get used to the fact that the third was gone; he had just disappeared one day, nobody knew why or whereto. At least Faye and his secret was safe, and he never liked the guy much so he wouldn't miss him. 

Jay took the beer. "Thanks," he said to the prospect. For a moment he looked at Faye, smiling. He really hoped the guys would like him, otherwise they probably wouldn't have a future together since he knew how important the club was for her. "She talks a lot about you guys. You're like a family in this club." 

* * *

Grace looked around and saw Happy and Jay talk. "So uh, are you over, you know..." She nodded to the side.

Faye looked over to Jay and Happy, sighing. Shit, there were fifty people or more in the room and they had to talk. "I-I..." She took a deep breath and shook her head. "No, not even a bit. I love this man and I can't forget him. I tried so hard and Jay is amazing! But it'll be always Happy for me..." the girl bent her head, feeling ashamed.

Grace felt sorry for her, she couldn't imagine what it was like to love someone so dearly without him feeling the same... "Did you tell him?" she wondered.

Faye swallowed again, suppressing some tears. She hated to play with Jay's feelings, and she hated herself for being still so fragile. "Happy? Yeah, he knows how I feel. I told Jay that I'm not totally in love but that I really want to try it... and that's not even a lie. But I know that we don't have a future."

"It's good that you were honest with him," she smiled. "And you'll never know to what it will lead," she winked.

"Okay, you have a point. Maybe it could work. I mean... I really wish it will work because I know that Happy will never feel the same," she growled softly, taking a sip of her beer. "Thanks for listening," Faye smiled.

"Always," she smiled. "He's handsome and looks friendly, I would keep him." She laughed lightly.

"Oh, good to know", she chuckled softly. It was amazing to have a friend like Grace. "I hope you enjoy the evening. And if you need something... I'm always around."

Grace smiled. "I won't forget about that. Enjoy the night too, I hope they will all like him."

"I'll enjoy it. Seems like they like him", she sighed in relief. "Okay, I can't leave him alone for so long, see you later." She kissed Grace's cheek before she walked over to Jay.

* * *

Drinking from his scotch, Chibs looked at his younger brother, who clearly couldn't keep his eyes off the curly blonde lady. There was a look of admiration in his eyes; a whole other look than how he usually looked at the croweaters. "So, is she your old lady now?" he asked curiously. "I'm a little disappointed that ye haven't introduced us properly, lad."

Chibs tore him out of his thoughts. All he could do was look at Grace, how she was standing next to Faye. She was so beautiful, so hot... she was just perfect. The only problem was the sex thing. "Yeah, I think she is," he nodded briefly, hoping Grace would want this because he'd be fucking proud. "Sorry, she's a little... shy."

Chibs shrugged. "Ye think I can't deal with shy ladies?"

Juice sighed. "I know you can. Maybe I'll introduce her later to you guys... or next weekend."

"I wouldn't wait too long, kid. As long as you don't claim her, nobody's going to stay away from her. She's really pretty." He nodded to some of his brothers, who were looking curiously at her. As long as she was a mystery, everyone was curious.

Juice wasn't blind, he saw all the guys and how they studied his girl.Most of them didn't even know that she was his because he never really had the chance to introduce her. "Shit, I know that! But I'm not sure if she's ready for this Old Lady thing, she isn't like Gemma or Faye - she's the complete opposite." 

Chibs shrugged. "Your call. But I've warned you, no one is gonna stay away if she ain't yours..."

Maybe he should listen to Chibs - damn, of course he should. "Maybe I'll do it later," he muttered. 

Chibs smirked satisfied, although everyone already knew how high his brother's head was up in the clouds. If they would try something, it was only to tease him. "Would be wise," he winked.


	50. Chapter 50

It wasn't long after that Faye had left her that another girl took her place. "Hey," she said with a sweet, almost flirty smile. "I'm Leonie. You're new, right?" 

"Ehm yeah, I think I am." She shook the girl's hand. "I'm Grace." 

"What a beautiful name. You want something to drink?" Before she could answer, she shoved a glass towards Grace, who took it a little hesitantly. 

"Did you already sleep with one of the guys?" 

Grace felt her cheeks glow. Wow, that was one question she hadn't expected so soon. "Um, actually I'm with him. With Juice," she explained as she nodded to both him and the man he was talking with. 

"Ah, he's such a cutie! He was my first around here, he was so gentle, and hot." She winked. "It's been a while since we've slept together, tho. I kinda miss it." 

Grace sipped from her drink. There was no provocative tone as the girl spoke; she sounded genuinely friendly and honest. Grace wondered if Juice missed it too; she seemed to be a really nice girl and she was beautiful with her dark blue eyes and black and blonde dyed hair. 

"So, you're just going to be satisfied with him or will you try to get someone... more important." 

"Uhm, sorry, what do you mean? I – I don't want anyone else." Suddenly she understood what the girl thought; that she was a new groupie. "I'm – I'm not like that," she said quietly. "He – he's my boyfriend." 

"Oh really? Are you his old lady?" 

Old lady? What was that supposed to mean? It sounded like a wife or something and she shook his head. "No – just his girlfriend I think." 

Leonie gave her an almost apologetic smile. "Ah... I see. He didn't ask you to become his old lady? That's when they get really serious, until then they can do whatever they want, you see?" 

Uncomfortably Grace looked around. "Uh, then I guess that I'm his old lady," she muttered. "I know he's faithful to me. I'm just... kinda new to all this." 

The girl chuckled. "I can see that." Her blue eyes held hers for a while. "Well, you're one lucking girl, Grace. He's really hot and he knows damn well how to please a woman." She gave her a wink and nodded a bit to the side. "You wanna dance? I can teach you some things with the stripper pole, if you like? It's gonna make him hard as hell." 

Grace had the feeling that her cheeks were almost melting off. "Uhm no, thank you. I'm... I'm good with a drink." She raised her glass, that was still full. 

"Okay, I get it, you don't feel comfortable enough yet. That's okay sweetie, maybe later. You're a sweet girl, I won't mind to hang out with you some time. Just watch me go wild, maybe you'll change your mind." She gave Grace a kiss, a little too close to her mouth for her liking, and walked to the stripper pole.

* * *

Juice had seen a croweater talk to Grace. Not just any croweater, he knew that girl very well. She had been in his bed more than once and it made him nervous that she was the one talking to his girlfriend. It however seemed like they could get along well. Not in a hundred years he had thought that Grace would have a normal conversation with a croweater. He chuckled when Leonie gave her a kiss  close to her mouth, they always did that but it was probably new for the blonde girl. Slowly, he walked over to Grace, wrapping his arms around her from behind and pressing a soft kiss against her shoulder. His hands were stroking her sides. "What did she want?" he whispered in her ear. 

Grace shivered as she felt his breathing on her skin. She leaned in to him, looking over her shoulder. "You," she whispered back, reaching for his lips, giving him a hot kiss while barely touching his lips, their tongues dancing outside their mouths in a way she never thought to dare in public, her hands sliding across his and pressing them tighter against her flesh.

Damn, that was a hot kiss. He quickly deepened it in a passionate, yearning way. He wondered what the croweater had told her, but he just enjoyed the moment. His hand wandered across her body until he rested them on her butt. 

Grace had turned around during the kiss, enjoying the feel of his hands across her body. She breathed in sharply, feeling the excitement spread through her veins. She had missed this, she had missed this so much more than she'd wanted to admit. She flung her arms around his neck. "She said she missed sleeping with you." She looked him in the eye, but one look told her he didn't miss the girl at all and that he only wanted her. "And she asked me if I was your old lady when I told her I wasn't interested in anyone else." Her lips touched his again, their noses brushed. "She suggested to teach me some tricks around the stripper pole too, 'cause you would like that," she added, pulling him a little closer so she could feel the bulge in his pants, filling her with little tinglings everywhere. "She was actually really friendly, even when she figured I'm not like those other girls."

"Wait, you said no, right? Because no one except me is allowed to see that," Juice chuckled softly, pressing his pelvis even harder against her middle. 

Grace grinned. "You really see me do such a thing in public?" 

"No I don't and I hope I never will," he nodded, looking at her with that wolfish grin

She pressed a kiss to his nose and winked. "But maybe as a birthday gift. To you alone." 

 "That sounds like a great birthday gift."

A soft groan escaped his lips as her hands slipped underneath the hem of his shirt, her breathing falling heavier as she felt his muscles. To distract herself from the her heavy feelings, she talked on: "Leonie created the impression that there was a big difference between a girlfriend and an old lady. She even looked a bit pitiful at me when I told her I was your girl. So, what's the difference?" she asked curiously.

"Well... as long as they don't know you're my Old Lady they are somehow allowed to hit on you. But as soon as they know, they'll leave you alone because they know you belong to a club member." 

"Ah. Well, nobody but you tried to hit on me, or at least I didn't notice, so I doubt that it's necessary to be called an old lady. I'm barely twenty, you know. Sounds weird." A warm feeling spread through her chest when she felt and heard how he reacted on her touch and she traced her thumbs along his stomach, just above his waistband.

"But almost everyone studies you from head to toe. Doesn't matter how old you are. You're my girl and I'd love to call you my Old Lady." Maybe she didn't want to be fully his yet, but right now he just concentrated on her touch. 

"Well if it's such a big thing for you bikers I have nothing against it," she winked.

"Good, then we both know what you're now," he grinned proudly. She was his Old Lady now, it couldn't get better for him. Well, the sex thing still bothered him, but this was already great. His hands slipped under her dress. "You look so pretty today," he told her in a whisper before he started to kiss her again, even more passionate than before.

As his hands slipped underneath her dress and stroked her skin upwards from her knee, she held her breath. Before she could complain - out of moral reasons, for she couldn't deny she loved his touch - he kissed her again, in such an amazing and hot way that she forgot about anything else and kissed him back eagerly, still dazed that he picked her of all the girls around and that he even wanted to make it serious in biker terms.

Feeling how her breathing stopped for a second showed him that she enjoyed his touch just as much as he enjoyed hers. The problem was that he couldn't keep his hands still and they slipped  even higher under her dress as he deepened the kiss, using his tongue to explore her mouth. 

It didn't take long before Juice's fingers went so far up her legs that she didn't feel comfortable anymore since he was nearing her panties and she grabbed his wrist right through the fabric of her dress and squeezed to make him realize what he was doing. She broke the kiss, looked at him and saw the disappointment in his eyes. It was hard to assess what he would do; apologize or giving in to his frustrations.

The whole situation changed pretty quickly when Grace grabbed his wrist. God, it was so frustrating, and yes, his patience was no longer the best. But he wouldn't apologize for touching her. Why should he even apologize for a thing he enjoyed so much - and she liked it too. Well, until his hands touched the wrong spot. He didn't feel bad for finding her beautiful and hot. "How long do you wanna do this, Grace?" Juice asked, sighing. 

"Do what, Juice?" she asked in a heated tone, surprised by the frustration she felt. "I'm a decent woman, you'll never get to touch me like that in public, whatever label you're giving me. I'm not like these... slutty girls!"

"You also avoid my room, the club, sometimes even my apartment. I really tried hard but I can't do that much longer. I'm a man and I have needs like every other normal person, Grace," he growled, taking a step back. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so frustrated.

"We agreed that I would help you if you were getting too frustrated, but I didn't even know you were struggling so much until Faye told me! I would have been okay with going to your room now, you could have at least suggested that instead of just being very close to grabbing me in a crowded clubhouse," Grace said, crossing her arms in anger because of his lack of transparency.

"With a hand job, Grace. Sure, that's great but I need more. Is it so hard to understand that I want all of you? Not because I'm a horny asshole but because I want to share such a great thing with you!" he raised his voice, pissed that she really wanted him to wait months or years before they would really sleep together. 

"Well, it clearly wasn't so great that you wanted it again and instead complained to Faye," she answered bitterly. "And I know you want all of me, you want all of every girl you can get, but I'm not ready yet and grabbing me in public isn't going to change my mind. Contrary, it rather shows that you just consider me as one of all those other play dates," she answered, angry, but on a low voice because she didn't want to be a drama queen.

"Are you serious? You still think I treat you like every other girl I've fucked before? That is bullshit and you know it. I know you're not ready, but you won't even let me really touch you since that one time we went too far. I'm sorry I grabbed you like this is public, but would it have been different in my room? Don't think so." He noticed very well how angry she was, but he was too. "Just forget it." Maybe it wasn't nice to leave her alone now but he didn't want this to get even worse so he decided to get himself a drink.

Grace knew it would have been different; she had wanted to try some things again, they had gone further than the past weeks. She had just wanted to remind him where they were when his hands had almost reached her panties, she hadn't been mad at all. She watched him leave, fueling the anger she did feel now. How could he just walk away right now? What did he think she would now? Hanging around with his friends? Gritting her teeth, she turned around and left the clubhouse. She didn't want to go home, not like this, but they both needed to

* * *

 

Faye wrapped her arms around Jay's waist. "Sorry baby," she whispered against his ear before she turned her attention to Happy. "Hey..."

"It's okay," he whispered. "I think I passed the first test?"

Faye rolled her eyes playfully and smiled. "I think so, yes. Hopefully not everyone is going to test you now. I'm sorry," she kissed him again.

Happy nodded to Faye, his throat feeling dry. It felt so long ago that she had been near to him and he felt how his whole body was responding to her presence. He wanted to beat down that douchebag, grab her face and kiss her, but he pushed that sudden urge away and kept his face straight. "How ya doin'?"

Faye studied every inch of his body from head to toe. All she wanted was to kiss him, snuggling up in his arms. But he, as always, kept his straight, serious face - not showing any emotions. "I'm doing good," she muttered, her words sounding almost fragile.

She didn't sound like she was feeling good, and when he gave her a scrutinizing stare she looked away. She should know better than lying to him but maybe it was because of her boyfriend. "Good," he nodded eventually, but making perfectly clear that he didn't buy it.

Faye noticed Happy's look and she knew exactly that he didn't buy it. But what was she supposed to do? He knew exactly how she felt and if he wasn't stupid he would know that it was still hard for her. "Yeah uhm... isn't Rowena around?" she asked. God, she still couldn't stand the woman. "Babe? I need some fresh air before I introduce you to the rest. Will you wait here?" she  looked at Jay. He just gave her a nod. She pressed a kiss on his lips and walked out.

"I'm done with Rowena," Happy told her when they had gone outside. He was glad they had a minute together, although he didn't know what to say to her. What she wanted from him, what he probably wanted as well, would never happen anyway; Clay would never allow him. Not in a million years.

"You what?" she asked, kinda shocked. Great, now he was a 'free' man, which made it even more difficult. "Why's that?" She looked curiously at him. Ugh, he was so hot... and those beautiful dark eyes gave her goosebumps. _Stop it_ , she thought to herself, already feeling bad again because of Jay.

Happy shrugged. "She was startin' to get boring," he answered, not knowing how to elaborate on the subject.

"Oh, well..." she titled her head. "How's your mom, Hap?" Faye really wanted to know even though she didn't really knew her in person, but she knew how important she was to him.

"She's getting a little better. Of course she'll never be healthy, but she felt strong enough to complain about the lack of a daughter in law." He had almost said 'about the lack of grandchildren', but right in time he realized how painful those words could be for her.

The redhead laughed softly. "I hope I'll meet her one day, she seems like a great person. And I'm glad she's better", she smiled at Happy. "I miss it to have you around you know."

"I could take you to her once, if you want?" he said before thinking. He was a little shocked by his own words, but didn't pay too much attention to it; she was just a friend, there was nothing wrong with friends meeting his mom. She had met some of his brothers too.

"Yes!" she replied quicker than she should, feeling excited already. Oh great, now she would even visit his mom and give her hope to get a daughter in law. "Just tell me when you're plan to visit her again. I... have to go," she took a step closer and kissed his cheek, but she was pretty close to the corner of his mouth.

Her sweet scent was suddenly so omnipresent that it took his breathe away. Her lips were just an an inch away and before he noticed, his brushed hers. However, before he realized what he was about to do he came to his senses and turned his head away.

Their lips barely touched, but she still could feel his breath on hers and it drove her crazy. She swallowed as Happy turned his head away and  felt relieved that he did it because she was probably too weak for it. 

"Uh, sorry..." her voice was trembling but thank god no one around her noticed that in that brief moment. Without another word she stormed away, catching Jay talking to two girls; croweaters. It annoyed her but she wasn't jealous. When she saw Happy with Rowena she always got jealous immediately.

Happy gritted his teeth in frustration. What the hell was he doing? She was trying to start a life with someone, just like he wanted her to, and now he was fucking that up by fucking with her head. He however didn't go after her, assuming that she'd be with her boyfriend now and he didn't want to make everything even messier.

Faye was actually glad that Jay was still talking to the girls, so she didn't interrupt and sat down on the last bench where no one else was right now. She needed a moment for herself, or at least not with Jay - she felt bad enough already. Could it be possible that Happy maybe had also feelings for her? The look in his eyes... it was different. But that would make no sense at all. Happy wasn't a relationship type, he told her once he can't fall in love.

She was just about to go back to Jay when she saw Grace leave, so she changed her mind and followed the blond girl, sitting down next to her. It was obvious that Grace was upset. "Hey, what's wrong? The evening started so good..." she said softly, rubbing the girl's back.

Grace heaved a deep sigh and stared at the asphalt. "We had a fight when he was getting too touchy in public, and in the end he just walked away and got himself a drink."

"Oh, that's... not cool," she muttered. It seemed like everyone had  problems right now. "But why did you two get in a fight? I guess you stopped him? And he got pissed?" 

"I just squeezed his wrist to remind him where we were, and then he got angry, asking me how long I wanted this. But I'm not some Croweater, I'll never let him touch me like that in public," she said, her tone getting angrier again.

"You aren't some Croweater and he knows that too, sweetie. He's just used to touch girls like that, also in public, he needs to learn how to act different - and that won't happen so fast. That's not an excuse, I understand both of you, but he has never renounced sex for so long, which shows that he really likes you. Give him time to take a few deep breaths and you should do the same," she smiled briefly, still rubbing Grace' back.

Grace sighed deeply. "I know he likes me. But I don't think he can do this much longer. I fear that he's going to find sex more important than being with me," she whispered. "And it's just this one thing we haven't done, I gave him already pretty much everything else."

"He won't choose sex over you, but it is an important part for him. Listen, I think I can't help you with that problem because I know that you can't give him what he wants the most, but I hope you both don't give up on each other," she said honestly and smiled weakly.

"I won't give up on him," she said. "I really like him. Maybe even more than that," she muttered with a blush. "But I am afraid that he can't have a relationship like this."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's more than that, which is actually a good thing and I'm sure Juice feels the same." And she was really sure about that. Sighing, she ran a hand through her red hair and wished she could tell Grace that Juice could live without sex, but that would be a lie. "Don't let him wait too long, but also don't force yourself to do things you don't want to do."

"I won't do it before my wedding night," she said stubbornly. "And I neither want that to be the reason to take such a step. He can do pretty much everything else, just not that."

"I really love him, he's my best friend, but I'm not sure if he can do that. I don't want to mess things up between you two. But I don't think you  get married the next few months." She thought for a moment. "But maybe he can do it. I think you just have to wait and see what happens."

"I know that, Faye," she sighed. "I don't think he can do that either, not when he doesn't have faith in it himself. So that's when the sex is going to be more important than me. It's just the question when it will happen." She stared at her fingers, feeling dumb for trying to make something work that could never end well. But she knew her suspicions were true; she loved him, and she knew God worked in mysterious ways. Maybe He would make this work.

"The problem is that we all enjoy sex way too much, it's normal for us. And if you had it once, you'll always want it. You don't know yet how it feels, that's why it's easier for you. And I think that's hard for him to understand... how anyone can't want this," she replied. But the two were actually a great couple, it would be sad if they'd break up because of such a thing. 

From the corner of her eyes she studied Faye's face and decided to let the former topic rest. "So what's going on with you? There's a sad look in your eyes and I have a feeling that isn't because of Juice and me." She gave her a slight smile.

"With me? I think you know it, don't you? It's Happy. I-I can't control myself when I see him. I hate that. I hate that I don't have control over my own body. God, I'm in a new relationship and I already know that I can never love Jay as much as I love Happy."

Grace sighed, took her hand and squeezed. "I'm sorry. I really hoped that Jay could help you forget about him. I think staying away from him is the only thing you can do." She dropped her eyes. "Even if it hurts."

Faye stroked the back of Grace's hand and swallowed. "Jay is an amazing person and I feel so incredibly bad. I haven't even told him yet that I can't have kids. If this would work between us, what if he wants a family one day?" she let out a bitter laugh. "And I can't stay away from Happy. I can't turn my back to the club, it's my life and I love them. And as long as I stay in Charming, I'll always end up here. Maybe I should leave town with Jay. That's the only way we can be really happy."

"You should tell him," Grace said. "The longer you wait, the harder it will be for him." She thought about her other words. "I don't think fleeing will make you happy. You belong here, with this people. But isn't there a way to minimize contact? I've seen some of the older Sons, you don't speak a lot to them either, right?" Grace didn't even know if what she said was making sense, it was a very difficult situation and part of her thoughts were with Juice, wondering if he was still mad and how they should go on from here. She should go in soon, talk this out, even thought he idea that he just had walked away still pissed him off.

"I definitely should. Maybe I'll do it later when we are back at his apartment," she nodded. "I don't know what else to do. And sure, I talk to everyone here, also the older ones, but I don't like them the way I like Happy. I don't know why I fell in love with him. But even if I minimize contact, the feelings won't be gone." So, fleeing sounded actually pretty good to her. "Well, you don't have to stay with me, go back to Juice... talk to him." 

Grace sighed. "I'm sorry I can't give you better advice now. My head... it's just a mess." She took a deep breath."Yeah, I think I should go looking for him. I'm sorry," she said again, standing up. "We'll talk about it later again?" 

"Don't worry, I'm glad I could talk to anyone about it. Don't get into a fight again, I'm sure he feels already bad", she smiled briefly and stood up, too. "Sure!" As soon as Grace was gone Faye went back to Jay and kissed him in a way she never did before. She really wanted this to work. 

Grace turned around and walked towards the clubhouse. She didn't know what to say to Juice, but maybe they had already talked too much. Maybe they just needed to hold each other, to cuddle... expressing their regrets with something else than words

* * *

Juice had been so frustrated that he had taken one of the croweaters to his room. It was so wrong and he knew it, he knew it would hurt Grace and he already regretted it, but he couldn't resist. 

Right now he was leaning against the wall, the brunette knelt in front of him giving him a blow job. His fingers were buried in her long, meanwhile messy hair. First she had offered to sleep with him, but that was too much, he couldn't do that to Grace. Even now his thoughts were with her, imagining she was the one kneeling there. Soft grunts left his throat as the woman's head moved back and forth.


	51. Chapter 51

Grace walked around the clubhouse two times, but he was nowhere to be seen. Assuming that he needed some time alone, just like she had, she walked to his room and knocked on the door. "Juice?"

Juice was close to his orgasm, letting out another grunt. He froze as he heard Grace's voice and he quickly pushed the croweater away, pulling up his pants. 

"Get out of here," he said to the woman, even opening the door for her and waiting until she left, kinda frustrated. His eyes met Grace's. Shit, he already felt guilty, but didn't show it. "Yeah?"

Grace stared with wide eyes at the girl who left the room. Tears jumped in her eyes. "Never mind," she muttered, feeling so shocked that she couldn't add another word. She however didn't want to cry, not because of such an asshole, and she turned around, desperately trying to control her breathing.

And then he felt horribly guilty when he saw the tears in her eyes. "Grace I'm... I'm sorry," he whispered, grabbing her arm and dragging her into his room. "I was so angry and frustrated, and I still am but this shouldn't have happened." No apology in the world could probably make her feel better now.

Grace wiped her eyes. "Maybe it's for the best. Now you have no restrictions anymore."

"No, this was a stupid mistake. Maybe I'm not the guy you thought I'd be," he bent his head and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I can never be the guy you want me to be and maybe your dad was right - I can't give you the life you deserve. But I fuckin' love everything about you and I still did... this..."

"I just realized that I love you, Juice," she said softly, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I wanted to tell you that." Her lips started to quiver and she took a deep breath. "But I guess you came to another important conclusion." She turned toward the door, she felt so hurt she couldn't even bear to look at him any longer.

Now he was  shocked - and hating himself. "No, wait!" he grabbed her arm again, this time way more determining. "I love you too, Grace. I don't know why I was so stupid. I... wanted you to be my Old Lady, I told you before!" His voice sounded fragile, broken. "Just give me another chance."

She tore away her arm. "Please don't touch me," she whispered. "It... it makes me feel sick. Your hand has just been on another woman's body." His words were racing through her head. He loved her? He wanted another chance? She didn't even know what hurt her more; the fact that he had cheated on her, that he was calling that love or that he thought that she could act like this had never happened. A painful feeling spread through her chest and she leaned against the wall for support. Slowly tears were dripping down her cheeks. She didn't understand it, she just couldn't get her head around what had just happened. Their fight hadn't even been that heated. Sure, they had been angry, but they had not even yelled at each other. How long had he planned on sleeping with another woman to get his release? How could he just throw everything away for a cheap fuck? What kind of man did such a thing? It took a while before she controlled her breathing again, while his words were continuously racing through her mind. "What is it you call love, Juice? For I really can't see it in having sex with someone else while the one who you are supposed to love is just a few feet away."

Juice let go of her, but he stayed close. That he fucked it up again annoyed him, hurt him. Why couldn't he be the boyfriend she wanted? She deserved so much better than this shit. He cheated on her because of a stupid argument, not even a real fight. Seeing her teary eyes, the tears running down her cheeks... he didn't want that. "I haven't slept with her, Grace. She just gave me a blow job. I understand if you don't want to give me another chance. I know I owe you more than a apology, but I don't even know what to say. I can't wait years to finally have sex again, it's an important part in a relationship for me. Yeah, you offered me some things we could do instead but it's not the same", he said, sighing. Why should he even lie to her? Grace knew exactly that he was a guy with needs. Juice sat down on the bed, running his hands over his head.

Grace swallowed the tears. There was no point in crying now, she didn't want to look weak. She would allow her pain later, when she was alone. "Just a blow job?" she asked, still in a tiny voice. "That's... that's even worse. I could have done that for you, but instead of asking me you just go to a random girl." She wiped her eyes, understanding him even less than before. "What kind of relationship is that, Juice? How is that love? I - I just don't understand. I would never want anyone but you touching me. That's... that's why I know love you. Loved you, at least."

He was surprised that she stayed so calm. Not completely calm but he had expected more yelling. Maybe she was just done with him. Alone the thought made him feel sick. "Yeah, you could have... but I'm not sure if you'd even wanted to," he muttered under his breath, tears itching in his eyes now, too. "Just because one mistake I made doesn't mean I don't love you. That girl and the blow job didn't mean anything to me, but you? You mean a lot to me." No matter how different they were, he still wanted this to work, but her words showed him that she probably didn't want to. "So what do you want me to do? As it seems you already stopped loving me. You won't forgive me anyway, right?"

With a sigh, Grace sat down next to him, but with some space between them. "I don't know how I feel about you right now," she admitted. "My head's a mess. I never thought you would hurt me like this. I thought you would at least have the decency to break up with me before you let others blow you." She sighed, blinking away the tears that were piling up again. "I just... I don't understand how you can think that me blowing you is worse than someone else doing it. I thought..." her voice started to shake, tears slipped her eyes again. "I thought we were exclusive. Building a future."

For a moment he really wanted to grab her hand, caress her cheek or whatever but he didn't dare. "The thing is that I don't want to break up. I never had such strong feelings for a girl before, I've told you that many times." Sighing, he came a little closer but he still couldn't look her in the eye. "It's not worse. Man, I love it when you touch me, when you would blow me, but I always want more when you do it. I can't take that much longer." Now he turned his head, took her chin between his fingers and forced her to look at him. "I still want a future with you, but we have to find a solution."

"I don't think there is a solution," she muttered. "You clearly can't live without sex. The only thing that might work is an open relationship where you sleep with other girls, but I don't think I can do that, no matter how much I like you." Her lips started to tremble. "I'm sorry. You have to decide what you love more: me or sex, and I think you've found the answer today, for you knew that we would be over, the moment you let that girl into your room."

"I don't want a relationship like that. An open relationship never ends good. I let her blow me, but I didn't even think about to sleep with her. Sure, I miss it, but I couldn't do it." Slowly, he pulled her into his arms, not too close. "You're more important to me, but I also want sex, but with you and not some random girl. Don't you think you can do it before a marriage? I won't force you now, but I also won't marry you right away just because of sex."

"No, Juice, I don't want that before marriage and I neither want that to be the reason that you want to marry me. It should be the greatest wedding gift, not a reason to marry." His arms around her called up mixed feelings, but it was too soon. That she wasn't screaming bloody murder didn't mean that she was okay and gently she let his arms slide off her.

"Then I really don't know what to do. I'm sorry, Grace. I want to be the perfect man for you, but I can't." And he was tired of this shit. They'd always end up in a fight because of this and a relationship shouldn't be like that. "I won't break up with you, it's your choice what you're going to do now."

"If I wanted a perfect man, I never would have fallen in love with you, Juice." Taking a deep breath, she looked at him. "I don't think it's fair to leave the choice to me, for you are the one who can't go on like this and now you make it sound like I'm the one who should take the blame." She breathed in deeply, trying to keep herself in control for it all sounded very unfair. "But okay, despite the fact that you're saying it isn't true, I have a strong feeling that sex is still more important to you than having me as your girlfriend if you had to choose, and you have to, so I guess that's it then." As he looked up, she gave him a sad smile. "It's not a snark and I even think that you'd want it the other way around, but apparently that's just your... deepest desire." Sadly, she took his hand and pressed a kiss against the back of it. "Despite the ending you were a great first boyfriend, Juice. I always loved being around you and I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss you." Pressing her lips together, she quickly wiped away a tear with her shoulder. "I just... I hope you find a girl who calls up the same feelings that I do, but who's also sexually at the same wavelength as you are."

"But it's your choice because I don't want this to end. So why should I break up then?" It made sense to him, he wanted her, but he wasn't sure if she still wanted him. Maybe it was a bit unfair, but he wouldn't give up on her. Juice listened to her words carefully, and damn, they hurt - every single word. But what did he expect? That she'd forgive him and just forget what happened? He squeezed her hand, a tear ran down his cheek and he didn't care at all if he seemed weak right now. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be the boyfriend you deserved, baby. I still hope you can somehow forgive me one day, that we'll have another chance, because I won't give you up so fast. There will never be a girl like you", he muttered, his voice cracked at the last few words.

A lump appeared in her throat as tears slipped down his cheeks. She had never seen him cry, and it showed her how much he cared about her. "It depends on you," she said softly. "I know I can forgive you, eventually. But I lost faith in you, Juice, and I honestly don't know how to restore it, especially as long as you don't know a solution either. Then it can happen any moment again. I think that we just have to accept that we can't give each other what we need; I need a boyfriend that I can trust, that doesn't cheat on me after the slightest fight and you need a girl who can please you in bed and has no boundaries."

It sounded like all of this was his fault. Well, it kinda was, but he really felt like the biggest asshole on the planet. She couldn't trust him anymore and he had no idea how to fix this again. "You know what? Maybe it's better this way. You should find a guy like Adrian. Your mom wants him as your boyfriend anyway. He is like you, he can wait with sex, which I still don't understand. But I think he could make you happy," he shrugged, wiping away his tears. "Believe me, all I want is you, but I also want you to be happy. I don't know how to prove you that you can trust me." She was right, she needed a faithful, christian man. Juice pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Just don't forget about me."

"I won't," she said. "If you find a way to deal with your... sex drive... we can always talk about it again, but I think it's just in your nature and that I have to accept that." She briefly kissed his lips, just a last taste, and stood up.

"And we can talk again if you change your mind. It's not just me, Grace. You have to understand that it's not normal to wait so long. No one else except a christian guy would do this, so I think I have to accept that too. But I enjoyed the time with you, I really did." Juice caressed her cheek as she kissed him for the last time. "Take care of yourself."

"If you say so..." Grace knew it wasn't true, she knew plenty of stories of people whose partners had respected their wishes, but the way people thought about sex here, wasn't exactly normal. It however was useless to discuss it. She just nodded at his last words, but felt horrible about the fact that he hadn't enjoyed it so much that he'd managed to keep his stuff in his pants. Suddenly she felt that she was very close to an emotional breakdown and she quickly reached for the door handle. "Please wait until I'm gone before you go to the clubhouse," she whispered. Then she slipped through the door. As soon as it closed behind her, she lost it and started to cry uncontrollably. She could no longer breathe, could no longer stand and she glided down on the ground, her back against the wall. She had lost him. She had wanted to surprise him today and she had lost him. And because of what? Only because of a stupid discussion about making out in public. Sobbing, she pulled up her knees, no longer caring about the people who might see her. She wasn't coming back here anyway.

* * *

Leonie was holding Chibs' hand as he took her to his room. Before they reached that, their path crossed that of Grace who was sitting on the ground, crying, next to the door to Juice's dorm.

 "Ah shit," she sighed, looking pitifully at the girl. "That poor girl. She must have found out that she was just his toy instead of his girl." 

"Doubt that, love. He's really nuts about that girl," Chibs said. 

"I'm going to talk to her. Other time for us, okay?" She kissed his cheek and gave him a wink. 

"Sure, baby."

Leonie walked up to the girl, sat down next to her and pulled her in her arms. "Hey honey. Come here, nobody cries alone in this place." 

Through a blur of tears Grace saw Leonie's face. She felt so lost that she was glad with a hug from anyone and she leaned into her embrace. 

"What happened?" Leonie asked. 

Grace couldn't answer immediately and kept sniffing for a while. The door went open and Grace tensed. Leonie pushed the girl's head against her shoulder so she wouldn't have to see him, pressing a kiss into her hair. She looked up and saw the hurt look on Juice's face, that became ten times worse when he caught the two girls. With her eyes she motioned him to leave, giving him a sad smile convincing him that she would take care of Grace. As the man had disappeared from sight, she brushed her long curls. She was a really pretty girl, she could see why Juice had an interest in her. "You wanna tell me what happened honey?" she asked after a while. 

Grace stared at the ground, silent tears running down her cheeks. "He asked me to be his old lady tonight," she said quietly, wiping her eyes. "Everything felt so good and we started to kiss, but then his hand slipped underneath my dress and... I don't want that in public," she muttered, almost ashamed. 

Leonie kissed her temple. "That's okay, Grace. You should never do something you feel uncomfortable about. I know we Croweaters don't mind about things like that, but like you said, you're not like us. So I guess Juice wasn't too happy about that?" 

She sighed. "It's a subject that's coming back time and time again. I want to stay virgin until my Wedding Day. I already gave him so much in a short time, but it just never seems to be enough for him. I thought it was a good compromise, doing pretty much everything but the deed itself. But I guess I was wrong, for after our argument he took another girl to his room to blow him." 

"And you caught him?" 

Grace nodded, sighing. "I went to his room, I thought he was just cooling off just like I had done." She let out a bitter laugh. "And then this girl came out. I was just about to tell him that I loved him," she muttered. "That we could try things again, for we stopped doing that when he could no longer control himself. It was frustrating him, the not touching, but he didn't tell me and it seems that he found using another girl a better solution." 

"I'm sorry girl." Leonie kissed her cheek. She smelled really good, she would love to take her to a room to give her some love, but she knew Grace would find no comfort in that. "And you two broke up after that?" 

Grace nodded, sighing. "Yeah," she sniffed. "He said he couldn't do this anymore, not having sex, so I didn't have much of a choice, even if I would have wanted to give him a second chance. He had to choose between having sex and being with me and he couldn't live without the first. So yeah, it's over." 

"Why is it that you don't want sex?" Leonie asked carefully, wondering if there was some abuse in her history. 

"Because I'm a Christian, I want to save myself for the one I want to share my life with," she muttered, much to Leonie's surprise; it was hard to believe that here were still people so old-fashioned like that. She twisted the ring around her finger and explained: "When two people become one, they are married in God's eyes. That means we can only have one partner. If I sleep with Juice and it doesn't end well between us, I can't be with anyone else after that." She bent her head. "And I know I love him, but we're not in that stage at all; to decide if we want to spend the rest of our lives together." She bit her lip, breathing deeply. "For him, for many of you, sex is just a great way to spend time; he was used to sleep with girls he didn't care about. It's just for fun. But not for me, it means so much more. Maybe it was stupid, but I kinda hoped that it would be special for him too if we waited. That we both had something to look forward to, something that would one day be the crown of our love." She wiped her eyes. "But his pleasure is all that counts. He thinks that I'm the abnormal one, but the free sex that is promoted here isn't exactly normal, not even for not-Christians. And I don't judge you; if you enjoy it, it's up to you, but it's... conflicting." 

Leonie took her hand and squeezed. "I think it's a beautiful thought, it's sounds very romantic. I'm sorry he disagrees with you. I can see why it's hard for him, but if he really loves you, he would have waited for you, just like you want to wait for him." She brushed the skin of her thumb in a soothing way. "Maybe he'll change his mind. I know these guys; they all make stupid mistakes like this, the moment it gets serious. He tried to live without sex and he missed it too much, but if he lives without you after today, he might discover that it's even harder to live without you than without sex. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't realize yet how much you mean to him. Guys just need more time for that; they have to experience the lack of something to know its value." 

Grace raked a hand through her curls. She didn't dare to hope that Juice would change his mind, getting disappointed again would only hurt her. Even if he changed his mind, he had still cheated on her. That hurt and that wouldn't go away. Things just wouldn't be the same anymore after today, even if he really regretted his behavior. "Thanks for listening," she said to Leonie, giving her a grateful smile. Summarizing her feelings, her believes, had created some clarity in her head. She still stood behind her choice to wait, with whoever she would be in a relationship. That was how things were supposed to be, how the least people were hurt. 

"No problem. I'm glad you opened up to me. A broken heart is tough, especially when you can't vent to anyone." Leonie smiled at the girl. "I really like you, Grace. Would you like to hang out some time? Just a girl's day? I won't bring any of those hots Sons along," she winked. 

Grace smiled lightly. "That sounds nice. Let's do that!"

* * *

Juice still couldn't  believe what had just happened. Sure, her words had burned into his head, but he just didn't want it to be over. Never before had he told a girl that he loved her, he didn't even had had a real relationship - and the first he had, he messed up... twice. Grace meant so much to him and he was sorry that he had cheated on her. When he had heard Grace crying outside, he hadn't wanted her to be alone and opened the door, but she hadn't be alone. Great, of all people it was Leonie who was there for Grace now. But he had been glad she wasn't alone, and he didn't want to bother them either. He was probably the last person Grace wanted to see right now, and he understood that. Therefore, he had disappeared outside, sitting on the edge of the boxing ring and lighting a cigarette from which he first took some deep drags

Should he fight for Grace? Or should he give her the chance to be happy with a man who could give her what she needed? A happy relationship, marriage, a family. That was one thing he just couldn't decide right now, he needed a clear head for that. After he had extinguished the cigarette on the ground, he walked over to Faye. "If you have time later, I'm in my room. I could really need you right now," he said quietly and then he went inside again and in the direction of his room. He just wanted to be alone, but he still heard Grace and Leonie talking. 

It might have been wrong, but he stayed behind the corner and listened to them. It sounded like he was the bad one just because he couldn't have a relationship without sex, which made him angry but sad too. Of course he loved Grace, but that didn't mean that he had to live like a saint, but apparently nobody understood that. Sighing, he lowered his head and went back to his room, looking briefly at the two women. 

"If you talk about me, could you at least do that elsewhere?" he asked quietly, not even waiting for an answer and slamming the door behind him. He leaned against the door, slid to the floor and buried his face in his hands. Now that he was alone, he couldn't hold back his tears, it was as if all his emotions were going crazy and he hated that feeling of being weak. He had no one except the club and now he was sure this would never change - but at least he had them.

* * *

Leonie sighed as she watched Grace leave, feeling sorry for her. Softly she opened the door, feeling shocked as Juice was just a copy of Grace's sadness. "Hey," she said softly, knowing entering his room unasked was a risk but she felt that he needed someone. She crouched down before him. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

Quickly, he wiped away the tears and cleared his throat. "It's okay. Everyone told us that it wouldn't work. Maybe we should've listened." He looked at the woman, trying to control his emotions.

There was a sad smile on her face. "You're a Son. You never care about what anyone says. Was it just the fact that she wants to stay a virgin or were there more reasons that you broke up?"

"Just the fact that she wants to stay virgin. And well, because there was another girl in my room," he muttered, looking at her almost desperately. "I love her, but I can't become a totally different person."

"She told me she wasn't exactly behaving like a nun in the beginning, so not doing the actual thing, doesn't change you into someone else..." She sat down next to him. For a really long time she had hoped to become his old lady, so she knew he never had had a girlfriend since he was a Son. "You know what love is? It's making sacrifices to make someone else happy. Every couple experiences things like these. But if you really love her, you make your sacrifice. And if she's not worth that sacrifice, it's not real love and you should indeed let her go. Which is also okay, honey."

"I never said she was behaving like a nun. She did many things and it  helped for some time but why is it so hard to understand that I want all of her? She's fuckin' beautiful, I'm surprised I could hold myself back for so long." He looked at her, frowning. She had a point. "Yeah, you make sacrifices. She can't make one, she wants to stay a virgin, so I have to be the one? Man, I'm not a complete asshole, but y'all make me seem like one." He let out a deep sigh and ran a hand over his face. "Like I said, I love her. Maybe that's why I should let her go..."

"You're not an asshole, Juice, but don't you see how much bigger her sacrifice is? She can give herself to only one man. Sexual intercourse is like a synonym for marriage, so if she gives her virginity to you and you two break up, she has to stay alone for the rest of her life. You really want her to make  _that_  sacrifice for you?" She shook her head. "Letting her go if you really love her is just stupid. You really want this to be the reason to miss on the potential love of your life?"

"But that's bullshit. She doesn't have to avoid sex for the rest of her life if we'd really break up after sleeping together. You're making such a big deal out of it. It's not like that God would come down to earth and kill her if she'd sleep with more than one man," he huffed. "So it's better that I'm frustrated all the time just to make her happy? I'm sure that's not the point of a relationship." But if this would really be the only way to keep her, maybe he should just do it.

"I don't think that will happen, but I guess she does." She looked at his frustrated face. "No sex isn't the end of the world if you find other ways to find intimacy. You know, my brother had a girlfriend who got cancer, and the last two years she was too weak to have sex. Some of his friends encouraged him to seek comfort within someone else, but he stayed loyal and fought that urge, even though the temptations were there. Of course that's a whole different situation... It just reminds me of their struggle. Waiting a year or something can be really hard, but maybe a life time without her is harder. But that's something you should decide for yourself. What she's worth."

"Woah, that's really a whole different thing, Leonie. I get what you want to say and I'd love to do that sacrifice for her, but that's just not me."

"It is and it isn't," she shrugged. "Same problem, different situation."

"And what if it's longer than a year? We won't get married just because of this one reason. I want her and I don't want to give her up, we went through some shit already", and he remembered very well all the struggles they had already. " But I guess you are right. We should decide for ourselves. But I won't bother her now with that, maybe I'll give her a call tomorrow." 

She looked pensively at him. "Just keep in mind that you crushed her heart by cheating on her. That will take time to heal, even if she wants to give you another chance. And I think she will, if you can make that sacrifice. I know it sounds unfair, but it's really up to you to make things right and you should be sure that you really want it. Just take some time to figure out what you want; see what's like to be without her and if that's more frustrating than having her around but not being able to fuck."

"I'll think about it, but right now... my head is a complete mess." 

He looked at Leonie again and studied her. "Why are you so nice to her? We both know that you wanted to become my old lady... and now you're helping another girl?" He was really curious about this.

She smiled. "There's just something I like about that girl. She's smart and kind, not judgmental, and beautiful... to be honest, Juice, I doubt you'll find a girl like her again. And you're right, I wanted to be your old lady, but I also want you to find some happiness in love." She winked.

He had to laugh briefly. "Sounds like you got a crush on my girl." Juice put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. "Thanks that you were there for her in that moment, really."

She grinned. "Well maybe I have," she chuckled. "But she's really into you." She kissed his cheek, despite everything enjoying the feel of his skin underneath her lips. "Yeah you just blew my chance on a hot night with Chibbies." She winked. "But I'm glad I could talk to her, I think she needed an outsider to talk to."

"Don't you dare to impress her too much," he grinned briefly. For a moment he closed his eyes when she kissed his cheek. He enjoyed it, too, not because he was into her but he needed this right now. "Well, the night is still young... so go get your hot night with Chibs," Juice chuckled softly and then nodded. "I think that too."

"Nah, he has someone else by now. I'll make up to him tomorrow," she winked.

"But I bet you don't want to spend the rest of the night with a mess and talking about relationship problems," he smiled sadly.

She rested her head on his shoulder. "I always love being around you. And lets be honest, we never talked much." She already felt the need to give him a good distraction but she knew it would hurt Grace and mess with Juice's head. But she had to admit it, his vulnerability was a turn on.

"True, we never talked much, I kinda regret that now", he answered honestly. 

"Well, I just have a lot of different qualities," she winked.

"I'm sure about that," he winked. "But maybe it's better if you leave."

"Whatever you want baby." She patted his knee and stood up. "Hope you'll get some sleep. If you need anything, let me know okay?"

"I will, thanks again," he stood up too and sat down on the bed, she'd find the way out by herself.


	52. Chapter 52

Jay was surprised by the sudden intense kiss. He pulled her closer, answering her passion. "So why did I deserve this?" He whispered in her ear.

Faye wrapped her arms around his waist and folded them behind his back. "Because you're the sweetest guy," she whispered back and smiled at him. "If you want to go I can introduce you to my dad tomorrow." Hopefully he wouldn't ask questions, she just wanted to leave - she'd talk to Grace later on the phone.

His hands wandered to her ass, squeezing it. "You think your dad will approve a sweet guy? Have a feeling he'd want me to be bad ass."

* * *

Happy's eyes had found the two. Without noticing, he had clenched his fists while watching them. He wanted the rip off the guy's arms for laying his filthy hands on her ass, he felt all his muscles tense. He turned away his head when dark fantasies crept into his mind of all the ways he could kill that asshole.

* * *

Faye bit her lip as he squeezed her ass. "Well, you can be a bad ass, too, but also sweet. And I think he wouldn't mind if you're nice to me," she laughed softly. She snuggled up to him, her eyes still searching for Happy now and then. She studied the man from the distance. He seemed kinda upset, pissed. She felt the urge to go over and ask him what was bothering him. 

"You excuse me for a moment? I promise you that I won't leave your side again for the rest of the night." She looked up at Jay.

"Uh yeah, sure. Everything okay?" Jay asked a bit worried; it felt like she was running around the whole night.

"Honestly? No. But we'll talk later about this, okay? Don't worry... it's not so bad," she sighed. That was definitely a lie, but she didn't want him to leave.

"Okay baby, whatever you want." He winked at her. "I'll go inside to see if I can bond with some of your protective friends."

"Okay, don't get into trouble", she winked and kissed him once again. Faye waited until he was inside, then she walked over to Happy. "What's going on with you?"

Happy shrugged, not knowing what to answer. Like hell that he was going to tell her that she was fucking with his brains. "Nothing. Just like the quiet here."

"Sure, that's why you look like you wanna murder someone." His eyes were still dark and she was pretty sure that he wasn't outside because he enjoyed the silence.

He sighed. She was not stupid; she knew him. "Just don't like the sight of the two of you," he admitted, he just didn't want to tell her more lies.

"Why? That's what you wanted, Hap! You wanted me to find someone else, to forget about you. What's wrong with Jay?" she asked, looking him in the eye. "I wanted you so bad and I still fuckin' love you, but I try my best... and now you don't like it?"

"I can't help it," he grumbled. "You shouldn't care about what I think of 'm anyway."

"But I do care! You told me you'll never feel the same. Did that change? Do you have feelings for me, Happy? And please... please be honest." She almost begged him to be honest, she needed to know.

Happy heaved a deep sigh. "It doesn't matter. Won't lead anywhere anyway."

"It does matter," she whispered. Her stomach cramped at the thought that he could have the same feelings but didn't want to admit it.

"Why?" he asked. "What difference would it make? Clay's never gonna accept it anyway."

"Does that mean that you have feelings?" she asked, but then she shook her head. "Right now it sucks to be his daughter."

"I dunno. Maybe," he muttered. "So yea, it sucks that you're the Pres' kid." 

"I-I don't know what to say," she muttered. It was a tough situation, but a smiled formed on her lips anyway. He had feelings, that's all she wanted to hear. Then again she remembered her actual boyfriend. 

Suddenly Juice interrupted them, looking at Faye. "If you have time later, I'm in my room. I could really need you right now."

Before Faye could say anything, he rushed way. Happy raised his eyebrows. "Seems like the church girl dumped him."

"They had... a little problem," Faye sighed. "So maybe they really broke up." 

It wasn't much later when Grace left the clubhouse, tears running down the girl's cheeks. "Excuse me," she said to Happy and pulled Grace in her arms.

"We - we broke up," she sobbed. "He just... couldn't longer without... You know," she sobbed.

Faye sighed, wrapping her arms tighter around her. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't thought you guys would really break up," she whispered.

Grace swallowed. "He - he was with another girl when I went to his room. I never - I never thought that he would do such a thing. We talked about it so often..."

"Wait, are you serious?!" She took a step back so she could look at Grace. That was something she hadn't expected - not from Juice. "God... I'm really sorry. Why did he cheat on you? Just because of the little argument you had?"

She dropped her eyes. "I guess. She was 'only doing a blowjob' he said, but he was vague about why he wanted someone else to do it instead of me."

"Ugh, he's such an idiot." Just a blow job, sure, that's what all the guys here would say. To be honest, she was mad at Juice. "I know that cheating is one of the worst things and I'm not sure if I could forgive my man if he'd cheat on me, but maybe you two can talk again when you both slept a night about it?"

Grace sighed. "But what's there to talk about? He only wants to continue if I give him everything and I can't do that."

"I don't know, maybe he thinks about that again. But I can understand if you don't want that anymore... really," she caressed her cheek. "Listen to your heart, Grace."

Grace bent her head. "That's... just broken."

It was sad to see Grace like this, she was her only real friend besides Juice. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I don't think there is," she muttered. "I think I should go home. But I don't think I'll ever go back to this place. I'm sorry."

"No, I understand that. But I hope you still want to see me? I don't care where we meet," she gave her a soft smile and hugged her again. "Want me to bring you home?"

"Of course Faye, you're my best friend." She hugged. "I took the car, so I'll just drive home myself."

"Good! I'll call you tomorrow!" she kissed her cheek. "Drive carefully."

Grace kissed her cheek, took a deep breath and walked to the car.

Faye watched her leave, sighing. This evening couldn't get any worse. But maybe it was better to leave too, she would talk tomorrow to Juice, she was too mad now anyway. She went back to Happy. "Thanks for being honest about the feelings, but I think it's better if I leave." What if she'd end up in the same situation as Grace? What if Happy and her really had a chance and he'd cheat on her? It would break her and maybe it was for the best that she was the president's daughter. Faye kissed him briefly, she really wanted to feel those lips on hers once more. With a sad look in her eyes she walked inside to look  for Jay.

* * *

Faye spent the night with Jay again, like so often the last time. She had explained everything to him before they went to sleep. That she loved Happy, that she couldn't have kids and that she wanted to leave town. But she also told him that she really liked him and that she wanted a future with him, no matter where they would go. He wasn't mad at her, but he wanted her to stay away from Happy and she had agreed to that. Sure, she would always love that man, but she hadn't told him that. And she had feelings for Jay, even though she didn't love him - but love could grow, right? He wasn't sure if he wanted to leave town and he needed to think about it. When she woke up in his arms she felt pretty comfortable, but Happy's words were still in her head. "Morning," she mumbled, burying her face against his chest.

"Morning, beautiful," Jay said with a sleepy voice, kissing the top of her head. "How did you sleep after this rough day?"

"Pretty good, I'm surprised by myself. But I guess your arms around me helped a lot." Smiling, she looked up at him. "How did you sleep?"

"I always sleep good," he had to admit. Sure, a lot had been said but nothing they couldn't work out. He had faith in them.

"Great," she whispered against his lips before she kissed him gently. "You thought about leaving town with me?" She was a little nervous about that, and she wouldn't force him to leave everything behind just because of her.

Jay looked at her and sighed. "You really want this, Faye? Now? I mean - your two best friends just broke up, you told me... I know you, you will regret leaving now. Let's just see how it goes if we stay here, and if things get worse for you we can always talk about it again, okay?"

"I don't know. I'd feel so bad if I leave now, but do they really need me? Juice has the whole club he can talk to and Grace has Adrian." With a sigh, she sat up and ran a hand through her long red waves. "I'm actually sure that I want to leave but I don't want to leave my family, I think I should give it a chance. But if it doesn't work, you'll come with me, right?" She didn't want to lose him, because when he was around she felt wanted.

"You really think they would talk to Adrian or the club like they'd talk to you?" Jay asked, raising his eyebrows. "I think you underestimate how much you mean to them." He took her hand. "But if you really want to leave, let's see what we can do. I'm not bound to Charming, but we got our jobs here, and I got my house..."

"No, probably not," she muttered. He was right, she knew that very well. Faye squeezed his hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "It's not that I want you to give up everything, really. Just promise me you stay with me."

"I like you, Faye, I really do. You won't get rid off me so easily." He winked.

"That's what I wanted to hear." She smiled briefly. "So, now be honest. Did you feel comfortable around the club?" This was important for her and she hoped that he wouldn't lie.

"Haven't talked to much people I guess, just some of the girls and your brother. But I enjoyed myself, even when you were barely around." Grinning, he gave her a kiss.

* * *

Happy knew he had to stay away from Faye, especially now there was a chance that she would be happy. She needed to get over him and he knew that wouldn't happen when he was around. The shit with Zobelle was over, everything was quiet and that's why he decided that he would go back to Tacoma for a couple of months. He had gone to the clubhouse to tell Clay and some of the others who were around in person, but he was a Nomad so nobody asked questions. Before he would leave, he however wanted to tell Faye about his plans; leaving without a goodbye would only hurt her. Because he didn't want to say goodbye in public, he sent Faye a text to come to his apartment.

* * *

"Mhm yeah, I saw you talking to the girls," she chuckled softly. "I'm sorry, next time I won't leave your side." With a smile she kissed him back and she was just about to deepen it as she heard her phone buzzing. She let go of the man's lips and checked the message, not sure what to think of it. "I have to go. What about lunch in the cafe at the end of the street? Around 12?" she asked Jay.

"Sounds good! Where do you have to go?"

"Happy texted me." She didn't want to lie, not after she had already told him everything. "Don't worry, I only want you. I guess it's about the club or something."

Jay didn't like it, but he didn't want to forbid her things; she already knew how he thought about them seeing each other. "Good," he said, pecking her lips.

"Please don't be mad, okay? It's one last time," she nodded. "Love you." Now she was the one pecking his lips before she stood up and got dressed.

"I'm not mad. I trust you, Faye. You want to eat something before you go?"

"No, I'm not hungry, but don't wait for me with breakfast." She really wasn't in the mood to eat, like so often, especially in the morning.

"Okay baby, then we'll have a lunch date?" He wrapped his arms around her.

"Definitely!" she closed her eyes for a moment and enjoyed his arms around her body.

"Good." He brushed her cheek. "Now go, beautiful. I love you"

"See you later, I love you too." Faye put on her shoes, grabbed her bag and left the house. 

Around fifteen minutes later she parked her car in front of Happy's apartment, got out and rang the bell. She was nervous, especially because she had no idea what he wanted from her.

Happy opened the door and leaned against the door frame with his shoulder. "I'm going to Tacoma," he said without mincing his words. "Wanted to tell you in person before I leave."

Faye stared at him. "W-why are you leaving ? You can't just... leave now," she whispered. His words hit her harder than she thought, but maybe it would be better this way.

"You know why," he answered simply. "You should have a real chance with that kid. Ain't gonna happen when I'm around."

She bit the inside of her cheek, searching for the right words. "It's not fair that you have to leave now just because I don't have my feelings under control. But I guess I can't talk you out of this, right?"

"Ain't about you feelings alone, girl," he admitted. "Don't worry about me. I like Tacoma, miss the guys anyway."

"But... you'll be back one day, right?" Tears jumped into her eyes at the thought that she might never see him again.

"I'm sure it won't take long before they need me again," he said. "Come on, I'm switching charters as long as you know me, I like the freedom of being a Nomad."

"I know... but it's different this time and you know it," she muttered before she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Ain't different at all," he huffed. "Woulda gone back anyway. Just a lil sooner now."

She took a step back and crossed her arms. He wanted to go back anyway... right. "Okay. I guess that's it then. I won't be around when you are, I promised Jay."

Happy nodded, surprised she had told him. But it was something good, it meant that she really liked the guy. He didn't feel good about it at all, but rationally he could tell himself this was good. "Okay. See you around, Faye." He turned around, even though he knew she wanted to hug or even kiss him. But it was better if they didn't.

"Yeah, maybe..." she muttered where after she stormed towards her car. Her heart was literally broken, but she had many people around her... and maybe she could finally move on.

With a sigh Happy watched her leave from behind the window, peeking along the curtain. He drank in the sight of her one more time; her wavy long, red hair, all those damn perfect curves. Yeah, he would miss her, probably more than he wanted. But this was for the best, he was sure of it. That Jay-guy would make her happy and when she was over him, he would no longer feel attracted to her. Not in a different way than that he felt attractive to every hot chick, at least.

 


	53. Chapter 53

That night Juice couldn't sleep at all. He woke up around twenty times. Grace was literally haunting him in his dreams, the last time he woke up, panicking. He couldn't and didn't want to lose her, but he already had because he was such a stupid asshole. He never wanted to be a boyfriend who cheated on the girl he loved. He still however wasn't sure what he should do, but he knew that he wanted her back. He searched for his phone and thought about calling her, but it was still so early so he decided to text her.  _'Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday. I know this was the stupidest thing I ever did and I never meant to hurt you so bad. Maybe, if you want, we could talk about everything again, also about the sex thing. Leonie talked to me for a while yesterday and I think I know what I want.'_ Well, he could understand if she didn't want to talk again, but at least he wanted to try.

* * *

Grace had just muttered a goodbye when she had came home, where after she had went to bed immediately. She cried for two hours, until she was exhausted and fell asleep. When she woke up it was still dark. There was a cramping feeling in her stomach, and immediately she remembered what Juice had done. He had cheated on her, when she had been just a few meters away. He had told her that the girl, that the blow meant nothing to him, but why had he done it if it meant nothing to him and she did? She just couldn't understand, she really didn't. He hadn't wanted her to do it, because he was afraid he wanted more. How she would feel about  _this_ , clearly hadn't crossed his mind. When had he became so selfish? He had always been so gentle, so understanding. Had that just been an act? Again tears ran down her face. How would he feel now? Was he with another woman, doing what he wanted to do for so long? As she was staring at the ceiling, her phone lit up. She grabbed the device and took a look at it, her insides freezing as she saw it was a text from him. She read the message three times, trying to feel something, but there was only this hurt, this desperation, the knowledge that they could probably never go back to the way things had been. Should she go talk to him tomorrow? Could their relationship still be saved? She was curious to what Leonie had told him, and she also wondered if the two had been sleeping after she had left the clubhouse. Again she read the text; that he was sorry, that he had never meant to hurt her. She let out a frustrated sigh. Then what  _had_ been the reason that he had done it? Her fingers were trembling as she held the device. What decision would he have made? That he wanted to try it again? Grace didn't know if she could handle another blow like this, she didn't even know how this would change her. He was the first man she had loved - and he treated her like this. But maybe he had just realized that it would never work, that he loved sex too much to live without it and did he just hate the way they had split. After doubting for ten minutes, she answered "Okay", knowing she would regret it later if she wouldn't go talk to him.

Juice waited for an answer and it didn't take long before his phone vibrated. Quickly, he checked the message and it was only one word. Well, at least she gave him an answer. ' _Okay, text me as soon as you have time and where you wanna meet'_ , he texted. Was it the right thing? Or would it hurt her more to see him again?

 _'Can't sleep or eat anyway, so the sooner the better I guess. Your apartment around 8.30?'_  Grace sighed deeply, hating the hope she felt.

 _'Yeah, sure, I'm there!'_ Great, he felt even worse now, she couldn't even eat or sleep. He couldn't either, but he had deserved a sleepless night.

The hours that passed until it was 8.30 called up so many mixed feelings that she was completely stressed out, to such an extent that she was even afraid her hair would fall out. She put on some casual clothes and tried to hide her sleepless night behind some make-up, but it was a lost cause. Ten minutes before they had agreed to meet, she stepped in the car and drove to his home. Even before she had rung the bell the tears were stinging in her eyes again; tonight she had been afraid she would never see this door again and now she was staring at it nonetheless.

Juice opened the door. "Hey," he said nervously, rubbing his neck. She still looked so sad, so fragile and it broke him inside. It broke him that he was the reason for this. "Come in." He waited until she was inside and closed the door.

Grace folded her hands and looked skittishly at him as she muttered a greeting. Yesterday she had been so calm, but it felt like she had been in shock, and now she fully understood what he had done. She walked to the living room and sat down on a chair at the dinner table; the couch was giving her too much memories and she didn't want his touch to influence her thoughts.

Juice followed her and sat down on the other chair, where he could look at her perfectly. "I'm sorry about yesterday. You have to understand me, it's hard for me, which is no excuse of course." He looked at her, grabbing her hands. "Fact is that I want you... I want you more than sex. And Leonie told me that I have to make a sacrifice if you're important to me. It won't be easy, but I would want to give it a chance. I-I can understand if you don't want to, but maybe you want to think about it."

"I thought you were already giving it a chance," she muttered, pulling away her hands and staring at the table top. "What were you thinking, when you took that girl to your room? I try to understand it but I just don't... I might have gotten it if you wanted to sleep with her, wanted to do what you couldn't do with me... But this... this feels just pointless." She clenched her hands to fists, her nails cutting in the palm of her hands when the tears started to itch again.

"I don't know what I was thinking, I was pissed, frustrated... hurt. Sometimes I think that you think I'm not the right guy for you and that that's the reason you don't wanna sleep with me," he sighed, resting his head in his hands. "It was pointless, and I'm sorry."

Grace started to sob again. She tried to control her breathing, but she just could't and she was sniffling for a long time. In the end she heaved a deep sigh and thought about his words. "It feels wrong to forgive you so soon," she muttered. "But I - I love you, and I know people make mistakes. It's just... it needs time to heal." She wiped her eyes. "But how are we going to make sure this isn't going to happen again? Cause... I lost my trust in you and every night I will be scared that you cheat again..."

Juice looked at her, sadness in his eyes. He had hurt her so much, actually he didn't deserve that girl at all. "I love you too, and I understand if you can't forgive me right away, I don't ask for that. But maybe we can still try it so I can gain your trust again." He stood up and sat down on the chair next to her. "I won't do it again. Would you feel better if I don't sleep in the club for a while anymore? I don't take girls to my apartment, you were the first... well, except for Faye."

"Yeah... That might help..."

"Okay, then I'll do that. And I can call you every night if that helps too," he suggested.

" Also..." She hesitated, knowing he wouldn't like it. Nervously she twisted her ring. "I don't wanna... Do things until I have been able to forgive you."

 Juice looked at her and took her hands in his again. "Yeah... I understand. It's okay. It's my fault that you don't trust me anymore so I have to live with the consequences."

Grace looked at their hands and swallowed. In a whim she pulled back her hands and hugged him. "Please don't ever do that again," she whispered. "I can't lose you."

Juice shook his head quickly and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I won't... I won't do this again, baby," he whispered back. "You won't lose me."

Grace breathed in his scent, enjoyed his arms around her, but still she felt a bit uncomfortable. She pulled back, and looked at him, into those beautiful eyes. Eyes that had watched another girl last night. A shiver traveled through her body and she sat up straight again. Part of her wanted to go home, wanted to be alone, but she knew that completely pushing him away now wouldn't help them. "You got any breakfast?" she muttered.

It had felt so good to hold her in his arms again; yesterday he had been afraid that he'd never be able to do that again. Not one minute had passed without that fear of losing her. He cleared his throat as she pulled back, but he wanted to give her time. "Uhm sure, what do you want?" he asked, standing up and taking her hand. As soon as they were in the kitchen he let go of it again and opened the fridge.

Grace let her hands slide into her pockets; he had held her hand often enough for today. "A sandwich or something?"

"Sure!" He handed her a sandwich, something he always had in his fridge, and a glass of juice. "You have any plans today?"

Grace sat down at the table and started to eat; slowly, there was still a twisted knot in her stomach. "I have to work at 1. You?" It was Saturday; usually he only went to the garage if there was a lot of work, even though he would hang out in the clubhouse anyway.

Juice leaned against the fridge and studied her. At least she ate something. "Not much. If you want I can come to your work after I did my work in the garage."

Grace stared at her food, she was halfway but she had lost her appetite. "I think I'm just going to hang out with some friends. I eh, need some time, I think... seeing each other twice a week is enough for now."

Juice sighed, but then nodded. "Okay, if you want that. But you can call me anytime if you change your mind, I'm not busy at the moment." He wasn't sure if they could work this out, but he really hoped they would.

Grace ate in silence, feeling more and more uncomfortable with each passing second. She wanted to break the silence, but her thoughts shot back to that moment that the girl had left his room time and time again. She quickly wiped her eyes as they started to get wet again and gave up the last part of her sandwich. "I eh, I should go," she muttered, rubbing her forearm over her stomach because it ached.

"You weren't even here for half an hour," he sighed. "But if you don't feel comfortable right now... you can go."

"Sorry," she muttered. "I just... I just keep thinking about that girl. I want to forget about it but I can't control it. Maybe... maybe it's just too soon to be around you again. It was just a few hours ago that you..." Sighing, she opted silence. There was no point in keeping talking about it; they couldn't change what had happened anyway. 

"I'm just afraid this will be always in your mind now as soon as you see me. But maybe we need some space now," he agreed. Maybe it would really help if she wouldn't see him the next days.

"I just don't know how to do this. Maybe I should talk about it with my father. After all, forgiving our loved ones, and even our enemies, is something God wants us to do."

"Wait, no!" His eyes grew wide at her words. "Your father will hate me again... and he'll probably tell your mom. She already hates me enough."

Despite the situation she chuckled softly at the sight of his shocked face. "No silly, I'm going to ask him how you forgive people who hurt you, I'm not going to tell them what you did. Could be a question about a friend too - or even about my mom." She dropped her eyes. "For I haven't forgiven her either."

"Oh, okay, that's way better," he sighed in relief. Damn, he really had gotten a little heart attack. He crouched down in front of her. "Maybe you should forgive her. She was sure that I would hurt you... and I did - so she wasn't so wrong."

"I know I should forgive her, but I just don't know  _how_. I hated how she acted around you, how she still talks about you." She bent her head and fought against the tears. "Even though she might have been right. It still hurts if someone is talking trash all day long about someone you love. Even if he makes mistakes."

"Believe me, I hate it too how she talks about me, but we can't change it. You can't be mad at her forever." Wow, he was surprised by his own words, but he didn't want to be the reason why she was mad at one of the most important persons in her life. "I'm so sorry for that stupid mistake, Grace."

"I know." Grace sighed, her shoulders slumped down. "Did you enjoy it?" she muttered. She didn't even know why she was asking that. Of course he had, if not he wouldn't have done it. But she hoped that talking open about the subject helped her to make peace with it.

"Grace come on, you really wanna talk about this?" he asked, frowning. Wouldn't that hurt her even more? He stood up and leaned against the table. "Well, I think one can't  _not_ enjoy it, but it wasn't the same, not even a bit. It didn't mean anything."

Grace shrugged. "Talking about it makes it... easier to accept, I think." Actually she had wondered if guilt had plagued him during the act, but apparently not, perhaps because he could so easily distinguish meaningless sex from meaningful sex. Those seemed just to be two different things for him. "You think you would have told me?"

Juice nodded slowly and bent his head. "Yeah, I would've told you. I feel like crap and I regret what I did. The least thing I can do is to be honest."

She wondered if he would have felt so guilty too if he hadn't seen how this affected her, especially because it had meant nothing to him. "Maybe I should find a distraction by someone else too. You know, to get even." She kept her face straight, but she was obviously joking, she was just dying to make the situation a little lighter. For he was right; she was only here for half an hour and if things kept feeling so forced, she was afraid that he would lose interest in her.

"What ? No... you aren't like that. I mean - you..." he stammered, his face turning pale. No, she really wasn't like that, she just said it to give him a feeling how she felt right now. Or... would she? He brushed some of her curls behind her ear and studied her beautiful face. "I wanna be the only guy you ever think about."

She shrugged. "I wanted to be that girl too. Seems nothing but fair if I seek out for a little comfort too in the healing process, right? Might even help." She winked, the hint of a teasing grin around her lips.

"Well, it would be fair. But I don't -" he stopped talking when he saw that teasing grin of hers. "You know how to drive me crazy," he chuckled briefly, looking forward into her eyes.

Hearing him chuckle, made the longing rise to kiss his lips. She however didn't want that, not so soon, so she leaned back a little more. "Well a friend of Adrian tried to get me on a date a couple of days ago and I have to admit that he was quite attractive, so if I'm really having a hard time to forgive you I might just do that, so that we've both made the same mistake and there's no longer something to blame you for." For a brief moment she wondered if that would really help their situation. It sounded ridiculous, and she would never allow anything else than a kiss, but Juice didn't need to know that and if she couldn't find another way to forgive him, it could turn out to be a last resort. Except that she would play with someone else's feelings, she realized a bit ashamed, letting go of the idea immediately.

As he heard the story of Adrian's friend he became jealous pretty quickly. It was probably also someone from church and maybe a good match for Grace, but he wasn't a fan of that idea at all. "Can't you do a different mistake than I did? Believe me, I learned my lesson," he answered. Would the same mistake really help her? He didn't think so, it would make things worse and maybe she'd feel like a bitch in the end - and he didn't want that. Grace wasn't like that, she never would be and he was actually glad about that.

Despite the serious content it was kinda funny to watch his face and she raised her eyebrows. "Yeah? What mistake would that be?" She rested her elbows on her knees and leaned forward, looking curiously at him.

"I, uh, I don't know. Whatever you think would help... but not doing the same shit I did," he muttered, still kinda afraid she'd do it. Juice stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Don't do that to me."

Grace looked right into his eyes, ignoring his touch even though it certainly did something to her. "Why not? You know you deserve my pain."

"Yeah, I know that I deserve it. But are you really like that? That would be the complete opposite of your lifestyle." He looked at her determined.

She shrugged. "Is it? An eye for an eye is coming directly from the Bible," she reminded him with a slight grin

"Then could you stop listening to the bible for just once? Just in that case..." Now a slight grin formed on his lips too.

"Why?" she whispered, her thumb slowly stroking the curve of his lower lip. "Can be a nice way for me to solve things, making out with another hot guy," she said, holding his glance. "Just... tasting someone else for once." Now Adrian's friend wasn't exactly hot, he was cute at most, and she had never found anyone hot but Juice, but he didn't need to know that.

"You really wanna taste someone else, huh?" he asked in a whisper, his fingertips gliding over her arm, up to her neck. He rested his hand there and pulled her head closer to his. "Don't you wanna rather taste me?" His lips brushed hers but he didn't kiss her.

"You're not getting a kiss from me for at least a month, young man," she whispered to his lips. "That's why I might need someone else."

"One month without a kiss? What are you tryin' here? Killing me?" he asked with a chuckle. "Come on... one quick kiss and I'm happy."

"But that's the whole point," she said, leaning back again. "I don't want you to be happy right now." She looked him in the eye, now serious again. "I want to see how you deal with it. If you can stay faithful with zero intimacy."

Juice sighed and sat back straight again. "But that was never what we said. I'm okay with no sex, but without even a kiss? For a whole month? You know that's not a relationship at all then, right?" he asked, frowning.

"Oh you better hope that it's just for one month." She stood up. "I might not be yelling or crying anymore, but I'm still hurt, I'm still pissed. If you don't want to consider it as a relationship; fine, call it a break, but the moment another woman touches you we're done. For good," she said on a fierce tone.

"I get that you're still hurt and that's okay, everyone would be. But damn, you're asking for too much, Grace. I don't need another woman, I need you. But again this feels more like a friendship than a relationship," he huffed, sighing. "So I guess we just call it a break."

"Whatever you want." Her slipped her hands into her pockets. She would still call it a relationship, it raised too many questions otherwise. His words however gave her an unsatisfied feeling and she looked at him. "You really think I'm asking too much from you?"

"Don't act like I'm the bad one again." He stood up and looked at her, not really sure what to say anymore. This whole relationship stuff was going to be pretty complicated. "I told you that I understand you, but you can't ask me not to touch or kiss you for weeks or months, I'm your boyfriend not some guy you just met."

"Yeah, you're the boyfriend who asked some other girl to suck your dick," she huffed, not even bothering about her language anymore. Suddenly she couldn't control her anger anymore. "What do you expect from me Juice? That I can just move on? Start from where we left? That we can pretend nothing happened, that you didn't crush my heart? You say that you understand me, but I clearly doubt that, so yeah, maybe I should let another guy go into my pants so that you know how much this fucking hurts!" she yelled, tears jumping in her eyes. She breathed in deeply, clenching her fists in anger. She turned around, she was done with this talk, done with him.

"Do you even listen to me?! God damn it, I try to change for you, which I actually shouldn't do, but I do it because I love you! You don't even appreciate that I really want to try it without sex, instead you ask me to keep my hands off you completely!" Now he was the one yelling. It pissed him off that she didn't understand him at all. "Then do it! Let anyone else touch you if that's what you want!" He was so angry that he didn't even care about his own words. If that's what she wanted - fine, she could have it.

"I thought you were already trying without sex!" she yelled back. "I appreciated that all the time! You betrayed me, Juice, I can ask you whatever I want!" 

"I did, but it's getting harder and now I'm not even allowed to fuckin' touch you! Every normal girl wouldn't make such a big deal out if sex!" He knew that his words would hurt her, but her words hurt him, too. 

"Every normal girl would have given you the middle finger after what you did, but I wanted to honestly give you another chance. Yes, on  _my_ terms. And if you don't like these terms, then we're done."

"I guess we're done then. If I want a friendship, I call you again," he hissed.

Grace gritted her teeth, not knowing what more to say and stormed out of the house.

Juice let her leave, there was nothing he could say anymore to save their relationship, not right now. They were both too angry and in their own thoughts. He slammed the door behind him and shook his head.


	54. Chapter 54

Before lunch, Faye wanted to talk to Juice, after all, she had promised him yesterday to talk to him - but she hadn't wanted to leave Jay alone again. She parked her car in front of his apartment, went up the stairs and rang the doorbell. When Juice opened the door for her, she clearly realized how mad he was. 

"Sorry about last night, I didn't want to leave Jay alone," she said with a sigh, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind her. 

"It's okay, Leonie came talking to me," he said with a nod and walked into the kitchen with Faye, where they both sat on the windowsill. 

"Why did you cheat on Grace, Juice? Do you have any idea what you did to her? Man, I can understand you, but couldn't you have just talked to her again before you let some croweater blow you?" Frowning, she looked at her best friend. She was sorry for how shitty he felt, but he was the one who chose to get a blow job by another woman. "Can any of you Sons stay faithful?" she added, putting a cigarette between her lips. 

"Man, I was overwhelmed with the situation, it felt like she just didn't want me. I know it was a mistake, a stupid one, but how many times should I apologize ? The croweater meant nothing to me, you know how it works!" 

In his justification, the redhead sighed softly and blew out the smoke, which briefly formed a small white cloud of smoke around her. "Of course she wants you. Well, wanted, no idea if that's still the case. But at least you know that it was a mistake. Did you talk again?" Curious, she looked over at him, hoping that the two had reconciled again, which was probably not the case with Juice's sad yet angry face. 

"We did, at first it went very well considering what had happened, but then we argued even worse than yesterday. Isn't it enough that I give up sex for her? That I want to wait until she feels like it someday? And now she demands that we don't even kiss for weeks. That is not a relationship, Faye. I love her, but I can't do it that way." His first firm, angry voice became more and more fragile in the end, and it hurt her to see him that way. 

"Juan... you were her first boyfriend, she gave you everything except sex. I think it just hurt her incredibly when she saw the woman in your room. And to be honest, you should be glad she even gave you a chance to explain - I couldn't do it if my boyfriend cheated on me. Of course it's annoying that you seem to have to live like a saint or a monk, I couldn't, but I've never seen a woman so important to you, maybe you should just try it. Or you leave it, but don't play with her feelings. That's up to you now." With a gentle smile, she stroked his cheek and leaned against his shoulder.

 Sighing, he put an arm around her, his head resting on hers. "I don't know what to do, but I know that I want her... and need her." 

For the next few minutes the two just sat there quietly. It was really a difficult situation and no one really knew what else to say.

* * *

Grace's sadness had turned into anger now. She needed an outlet, she wasn't used to anger at all, but she had no idea how. She had two more hours before she had to work. After contemplating what to do for some time, she chose to go to Adrian's, because she had a feeling he would always understand her better than Faye, especially because she was mad at her best friend. She knocked at his door, breathing in and out heavily while Juice's words kept spinning through her head. Had he always been such an asshole? Had he really believed that promising her that it wouldn't happen again because he'd decided he found her more important than sex, would be enough to forgive him? That she would just smile and hug and kiss him, because she was so happy that he had drawn that conclusion in a completely wrong way? Did he regret at all what he had done? He clearly couldn't live with a punishment, should she just swallow his shit, being happy that he wanted her? Was that what old ladies set apart from normal girlfriends? Who did he think he was, telling her what she should and shouldn't do to make peace with what  _he_ had done? Her blood almost started to boil, and she was sure she would have kicked the door if Adrian hadn't swung it open right at that moment.

Adrian opened the door and looked right into Grace's face - and something was definitely going on with her. "What's wrong?" he asked worried, he didn't even say hello first. Gently, he dragged her inside and closed the door. He was pretty sure it had something to do with Juice, otherwise she wouldn't look so upset.

Suddenly Grace felt very small and she dropped her eyes. "I feel so stupid," she whispered. "I really thought that we had chance. But he - he cheated on me and I can't even be mad at him, according to him." Her lips quivered, but this time the tears stayed at bay.

Adrian sighed deeply, running his hands over his face. He had never said something bad about this guy because he knew how much he meant to Grace, but it had been a matter of time before something like this would happen. "He really cheated on a girl like you? I'm sorry, but he's stupid then." Slowly, he pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

Grace blinked the tears away as she buried her face in the crook of his neck, holding him tight. "Why can't I just fall in love with someone like you? Why with someone who is the complete opposite of me, who just... can't love someone?"

"Don't we always fall in love with people we shouldn't?" he asked quietly, leading her to his couch and sitting down with her. His arms were still around the girl. "I still can't believe he did that."

"Me neither," she sighed. "We had an argument, it wasn't even that heavy, and when I had cooled down outside I wanted to talk this out and then this girl came out of his room." She stared at her knees. It wasn't even that part that hurt her the most, it was mainly the fact that he thought that saying sorry and making promises would be enough. She leaned into him. "Can we... just not talk about it right now? I have to work in less than two hours, I really need to... pull myself back together."

Adrian listened to her. The only thing he could do was shaking his head. "You don't deserve this..." he muttered, stroking her back up and down. "Of course, let's talk about something else then. Is there anything special you wanna talk about?" Adrian wasn't sure what would help her the most right now, but he didn't want to see her so sad because of this guy.

"No... I just... want you to hold me," she muttered. "I just don't wanna be alone right now."

"Okay, I will," he assured her. There was nothing else he'd wanted to do at the moment.

* * *

Grace felt emotionally exhausted when she came home later that night. Adrian had tried to comfort her as best as he could, but there really wasn't a way to make her feel better right now. She glanced at her phone, deep inside hoping for a text from Juice, but there was none. Of course there was none. It was over between them. 

"Hey, what's going on?" her father asked as she sat down at the table for dinner. "You look... horrible." 

Grace bent her head. "You were right about him," she whispered. "He did hurt me." She peeked at her mom. "The news will probably make your day, but we broke up." 

"Why?" her father asked. He hadn't been too happy about her relationship, but he had seen the love that existed between the two which had made it easier to accept it. 

"I wasn't the only girl he liked," she muttered. It wasn't true, she knew the other girl had meant nothing to him, but she felt too ashamed about the real reason: that he had just cheated on her  _without_ having feelings for someone else - just because he needed a distraction for his frustration that she didn't want to make out in public. 

"I don't wanna talk about it," she whispered. "I've cried enough for today." 

"I'm sorry, I really am..." Her father covered her hand with his and squeezed. 

Grace stared her plate. Her mother said nothing, but she could feel what she was thinking: 'I told you'.

* * *

Chibs saw his younger brother sit at the bar, a whisky in his hand, staring forward. He obviously wasn't happy. He sat down on the stool next to him and slapped his shoulder. "Saw the girl cryin' last night," he said, sensing that his friend needed someone to talk to. If he couldn't vent, he'd be in his head for far too long and although Faye was usually helping him to pull through, he hadn't seen the girl today. "Didn't wanna become yer old lady?"

Juice turned his head to the side, looking at Chibs. "I don't know, but I'm sure she won't become my old lady anymore," he muttered and emptied his glass. "Guess I have to live with that."

Chibs raised his eyebrows. "Why's that? You two looked pretty in love last night."

"Well, things changed." He turned around the glass in his hand, squeezing it so hard that it could break anytime. "I cheated on her... we talked about it today, wasn't the best idea."

Chibs was so surprised that he didn't even know what to answer. "Why?" he eventually just asked. "You weren't that drunk, right?"

"No, I wasn't. I was frustrated as hell and didn't think twice," he growled softly, mad at himself. "I'm a man, I need this shit... but I also need her."

"You need what? A harem?" he chuckled. "You know that's the opposite of having an old lady huh?"

He raised an eyebrow and frowned. "Whatever. I don't even know what I want or need. I mean, what would you do in my situation?"

"Hmm..." Chibs took a drink from a prospect and turned towards the young man. "Maybe you should first explain what your situation is."

"Would you give up sex and everything else, even kissing, for weeks, well, the sex until you're married, because you love that person?" he sighed, looking him in the eye. Juice really wanted to know what he'd do.

It took some time before Chibs realized what the problem was. "She wants to stay a virgin until her wedding night?" 

Juice nodded, sighing. 

"Damn... Didn't know these people still existed." He was silent for a while. "Well, you're not that long together, so it's not a real surprise she wants to wait, right? I mean... didn't you know that before you started... this?" He chuckled briefly. "Not that I'd be the best in waiting. I wouldn't even have started something with a girl like that. How's that not gonna be boring?"

Juice thought about his words for a while before he answered again. "I knew it before, the sex thing. I didn't thought she could really do that and part of me thought I maybe could do it... but I can't. I don't wanna change completely, she wants a guy who is... perfect, and I'm not." This bothered him so much... that he couldn't be how she wanted him to be.

"Sounds like a stubborn girl," he grinned.

"She is, believe me." 

 "I like her, although I barely know her. She's a sweet girl, helped us out with the Zobelle thing... but if she really wants ye to become someone else, yer better off without her, trust me. She should, ya know, love ye for who ye are." His eyes rested for a while on his younger brother. "And the other way around son. She ain't perfect either, despite that angel face of hers. There's no such thing as perfect people."

 "I know, she's sweet, beautiful, her character is amazing. But you're right, too. I want to accept her wishes, I really do, but it doesn't work." Sighing, he bent his head. He already missed her beautiful smile, but the last thing he had seen was her sad face while she was yelling at him.

"I'm sorry lad," Chibs said honestly. "Just see it as a little adventure which was fun but is over now and pick another sweet girl." He winked, nodding to some of the Croweaters. "Are plenty of 'em." He smirked. "And they are desperate for a little bit of yer love."

Right now he wished it would be so easy, but it wasn't. Sure, every single croweater here was a beauty, but they weren't Grace, they weren't his girl, which she wasn't anymore. "Yeah... I think about it. Thanks..." he smiled briefly.

Chibs slapped his shoulder and walked to the Croweaters, sending Leonie with her eyes towards him. He knew they had talked last night, she knew what was going on and would be a good girl for him right now. Leonie waited a few more minutes before she took Chibs' spot. 

"Hey," she said softly, giving him a timid smile. "Still not decided what to do?"

Juice's eyes fell to the side were Leonie now sat. Shrugging, he shook his head. "There's nothing to decide anymore I guess."

His brown, sad eyes didn't pass her attention and she felt a strange twist in her stomach. She laid her hand across his. "What happened?"

"Do I really have to tell everything again?" he asked, looking at her hand. She probably just wanted to be there for him. "I think the biggest problem is me, not her at all."

"You don't have to tell anything," she said quietly. "I just thought... maybe I can help you get your mind straight... like last night. Or... or didn't that help at all?"

Juice squeezed her hand briefly. "No... it helped, at least I tried. I don't wanna sound rude but I think no one can help us with this. We have to figure this out by our own."

She gave him a weak smile. "That doesn't sound as hopeless, if there's still a chance to figure it out." Her thumb rubbed the back of his hand. "I know you have to solve this yourselves, but maybe... I can see things in a different perspective because I'm not the hurt one."

Juice swallowed softly and pulled his hand back. "I don't know if there's still a chance, but not at the moment. I have to deal with the fact that I lost her, can't do shit about it," the man said, taking a sip of his whiskey.

Leonie pulled back her hand, realizing that it was too soon, that he was too heartbroken. "How did you mess it up," she asked carefully. "Yesterday... I had a feeling she wanted to give you another chance."

"I acted like an asshole because I couldn't accept the fact that I'm not allowed to kiss my girlfriend. Well, I'm sorry but if I have a girlfriend I wanna touch her. Otherwise the whole relationship doesn't make sense... and that's what I told her." He was already prepared for another speech that he was an asshole.

Leonie thought about his words and tried to connect them with the girl she had spoken to yesterday. "Well that girl must be nuts if she doesn't want to kiss you," she chuckled. "But serious, eh, I don't want to be rude but you do understand why she can't kiss you the day after you cheated on her, right? I mean - I surely would have chopped off your balls if you had pulled a stunt like that on me. And that's no joke. Not getting a kiss, well that sounds like a low price to pay for what you did."

"I never complained about that. I can handle it if she doesn't want it right now, but not for weeks or months..." He stood up and ran a hand over his mohawk. "Everyone wants me to give in but... I don't know why it's so hard for me. But this time I really fucked it up and I'm pretty sure she won't give me another chance to talk."

Leonie looked pensively at him. "But do you think you can handle not being with her for weeks or months any better?" She ran her fingers through her dyed hair. "But it sounds like you've already made your choice, and I guess she needs some time now anyway. I just... wouldn't give up on her, she's a forgiving soul." She stood up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You better enjoy your freedom now, before you're caged again." She winked.

Inside he knew that Leonie was right, that everyone else was. But he was sick of being the asshole in everyone's eyes. "I'll think about it." And he would do that, but not tonight, not tomorrow, he'd give Grace a little space, that's what she wanted, right? He looked down at the croweater, licking his lips. "Wouldn't make this things worse? If she'd find out?"

"If you want her back within a year, you definitely shouldn't even get close to another woman. If you are sure that she's a lost cause..." She shrugged. "Then you're a free man, huh."

God, he hated this. She was talking about a year, just great! He grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer. "Problem is that I don't know if this will ever work again. I can't even think straight anymore and it's driving me crazy! I'm a free man right now, but at the same time I'm not."

"You need to take time for yourself too, just like she. Go for a ride, do things that you like. Come, let me give you a massage first. Just to knead the tension a bit away, okay?" Leonie offered. "You look like you can explode any moment."

Juice took a deep breath, nodding. "Okay, sounds like a plan." Because he actually really felt like he could explode anytime. "Thanks."

"No problem baby. I just want you to feel better." She walked after him inside his room, this time not grabbing his hand like she'd done in the past.

"Nice of you," he gave her a brief smile and sat down on his bed a little later. "Can I ask you a question? Have you ever had a real relationship? I mean... you're a croweater for a while now here." And she wasn't that old, but maybe she could give him some tips.

"I had three relationships I consider as serious, and a lot of flings," she chuckled as she took the massage oil from her bag and gestured him to take off his clothes. "Two girls and one guy."

He took off his cut and shirt and sat up straight. "Two girls? So I really have to be afraid that you could fall for Grace after your words about her yesterday?" he grinned briefly but of course he was hoping that Leonie wouldn't hit on Grace, that would be the worst thing she could do to him. 

Leonie sat down behind him, dripping oil in her hands and spreading it across his shoulders and neck. "You ever think she would fall for a girl?" she chuckled. "She probably believes she would be sent to the depths of hell for doing anything with a girl." Starting to knead his muscles, she said. 

"Well falling in love with you never was a sin. Falling in love with me, would. But I'm sure it will take a long time before there's someone else on her mind." Her hands stroked his body. Talking about Grace while massaging her ex's body felt a bit strange, but she couldn't deny that she had missed this great body. 

He didn't even want Grace to fall for someone else, that was the problem. Sure, he wanted her to be happy, but with him - but he could forget that now after what he did. Even if she would give him another chance, it would take a long time for her to be fully happy again.

"But my last relationship is a while ago, three years I think. I was so heartbroken that I just moved to this place where a friend was living and she took me here, and well, there was enough distraction to mend that heart." She lifted the corner of her mouth. "And you were my biggest medicine, if I'm honest. You really helped me to get over my ex."

He turned his head to look at her, smiling briefly. "Well, I'm glad I could help you get over your ex. Even if I have no idea what I did."

"That's a bit hurtful, Juicy," she whispered in his ear. "You really don't remember anything about all those hot nights?"

His muscles relaxed immediately as she started to knead them. A smirk formed on his lips and a shiver ran down his spine. "'Course I remember them. Didn't know they helped you to get over your ex," he turned his head to the side again, facing her. If this really helped her... maybe it would help him, too.

"Yeah, well I fell head over heels with you and at the same time I wasn't ready for something serious... so the situation was kinda perfect. Until I was ready for more," she chuckled, gently pushing him down so he was lying on his stomach and she could knead the lower regions of his back. "And you weren't. So in the end it was the same shit all over again."

He had hurt her too, he realized. As it seemed he was good in hurting people. Softly, he pushed her off him, sat down and looked at her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you too. I didn't even realize that back then."

Leonie chuckled. "Oh baby, there are tons of girls in love with you, hoping to become your old lady. You're the sweetest of them all and contrary to Ope and Jax you're still single, so you and Grace getting together would have broken many, many hearts." She winked. "I never blamed you. I know how it works, that I was just a hot body for you, but I never stopped hoping I would become more one day," she said honestly. "But don't feel sorry," she smiled, cupping his jaw with her long fingers. "We croweaters know what we sign up for when we sleep with you."

Juice laughed briefly. "But I never spent that much time with the others. You were one of the few croweaters that landed more than once in my bed." And that was true. He put a hand on hers, smiling. "I know that you girls know that, but it has to suck sometimes."

"Yeah I knew I were your favorite, it always gave me hope. Now I'm Chibs', as it seems, he's satisfying too tho. Just not giving me the feels like you did." She winked, trying to remember when she had slept with Juice for the last time. It must have been almost a year or so, when her feelings were growing too heavy she had distanced herself a bit.

"Yeah, I already ruined your last night with him. I'm sorry for that," he chuckled. It didn't bother him that she was Chibs' favorite now, he was the one who 'dumped' her. But he had to admit that he'd enjoyed the time with her. "Why are you still a croweater? You're a nice girl, you could have a great job, a partner." Briefly, he caressed her cheek, not even realizing what he was doing.

The sudden caress surprised her. After all these months she still loved his touch and it sped up her breathing a bit. "I do have a job," she told him. "Maybe not the greatest job in the world, just bookkeeping, but I earn some money and I like hanging out here with you guys and the other girls. I'll find that partner one day, I'm not in a hurry." She smiled. "Might as well find one here, right? Are enough hot chicks and guys around."

Juice pulled his hand back slowly as he felt her breathing sped up. "Well, at least it's a job and having money is always good." It really wasn't the greatest job, but if she was okay with it, why not ? "That's true. I think you'll find somebody one day... but don't wait too long," he winked.

"Won't be up to me alone," she grinned. "I'm the kind of girl who quickly falls in love, but always with people who also get a lot of attention from others." She pouted.

"Don't fall in love with a biker, we always get attention." Now he grinned, too. "You're beautiful, nice, sometimes guys, or girls, are just stupid..."

"You know you're talking about yourself too, huh?" She smirked. "But okay. We already knew you have your stupid moments."

"Yeah, I know that", he rolled his eyes, grinning. "Don't push it", his grin widened as he shook his head. 

She looked pensively at him. He looked a bit more relaxed by now. "You want me to finish the massage? Before I have to start all over," she said, sticking out her tongue.

"Why don't you lay down and I give you a massage, hm? See it as a thanks for listening to my problems," he suggested. Normally, croweaters were there to comfort them, but he didn't care right now.

Leonie chuckled. "Well, that's an offer I can't refuse." She took off her shirt and laid down on her stomach on the bed. In other circumstances she would have taken off her bra too without hesitation, but she wasn't sure how he would react on that, maybe he would misinterpret it and was his pain too fresh for something like that.

"Thought so," he winked, waiting for her to turn around. As she took off her shirt he had to swallow. He loved Grace, but there was still a feeling they'd never have a chance again. He unclipped Leonie's bra, she was on her stomach, he wouldn't see her breasts anyway so it was okay. He put some of the massage oil on his hands and started to knead her shoulders.

Leonie closed her eyes as she felt his hands move across her shoulders. His effect on her hadn't changed; he could still set her on fire. "Hmm," she hummed approvingly. "I'd volunteer to become your therapist if this is my payment."

Feeling her skin under his hands brought back a few old memories with her. And again he asked himself if it would help to have some fun with her. But Grace still haunted his mind. His hands glided down from her shoulders to her hip area. "Would you? Maybe I'll take the offer", he muttered.

Her muscles tensed as his hands slipped lower and in a flash she imagined what it would feel like if his hands wandered further down, as he pulled down her hotpants, as he laid down on her and took her from behind, feeling his chest against her back as he thrusted inside her, his strong arms wrapped around her, his lips sucking the region between her neck and shoulder. She tried to shake off the thought and forced her breathing back to normal, limiting her thoughts to his fingers kneading her lower back. "Think we've a deal then," she said in a hoarse voice. She was almost about to ask when the last time had been that he had massaged a girl, but she was afraid it would remind him of Grace and she didn't want to ruin the mood.

"Guess so," his voice became deeper, his eyes were fixed on the exposed skin. Slowly, he bent over her and pressed his lips against her shoulder. He knew exactly that he shouldn't do that, but right now he needed it, he needed distraction. His hands rested on her hips but his lips wandered over her neck. Maybe it was wrong to take her to his room, but it felt good to be close to someone right now.

A soft gasp left her lips as his lips touched her shoulder. How long had she craved to feel his lips again? She had pushed her feelings for him to a far, dark corner, but there had been many, many memories popping up at the most random moments, even when she was with other guys. "You surely have a special way of massaging someone," she muttered, her eyes still closed.

Hearing her gasp gave him some old memories back - good memories. "Mhm..." was all he answered before he turned her around and crashed his lips on hers in a gentle but longing way. Maybe she'd stop him, or not. He buried his hand in her long dyed hair.

Leonie's eyes widened - she didn't know why, but she hadn't seen it coming. She however kissed him back eagerly, her hands gliding across his bare back. God, she had missed this. So much.

As soon as she kissed back his tongue slipped in her mouth, stroking hers. He kissed her hungrily, as if he hadn't touched anyone since years. One hand rested next to her head, the other hand, which was buried in her hair, slipped down to her body where he stripped the straps of her bra off her shoulders.

Leonie caressed the side of his face while she kept kissing him, enjoying his fingers traveling along her skin as he slipped down the straps of her bra. Excitement filled her and she intensified the kiss, enjoying this moment to the fullest because it might be a one time thing.

As soon as the fabric didn't cover her breasts anymore he started to knead one of them, twirling her nipple with his thumb and forefinger. Now a soft gasp left his lips, but immediately he thought about Grace, how she had felt. She should be the one underneath him. He would just hurt her feelings, and Leonie's maybe too.

Leonie looked at his face as he played with her nipple. She loved his touch, but she saw how he tensed, how his breathing changed - and not because he was excited. She laid a hand against his cheek and looked at him. "Are you okay?"

Juice sighed, leaning his forehead against hers. "I can't get her out of my mind. Shit, I'm sorry... I really don't wanna hurt you again," he said, guilt was plaguing him. "I want this with you, here, to forget about the pain for at least an hour. But Grace is always in my mind and I'm not sure if I wanna use you for this..." He already missed the blonde girl, missed holding her in his arms.

"I know that, Juice. I knew what you were trying to do. Don't feel guilty about that." She sighed, sitting up a little straighter. "And you're a great guy... but if we go on, I have a feeling that those sad eyes of hers will also be the only thing I can think of. I just... have a feeling that she somehow knows what we are doing right now and... It doesn't feel right to be the one hurting her after she opened up to me yesterday," she realized now she thought about the blonde girl again.

"But I do feel guilty. I don't know, maybe she's home and is crying her eyes out and I'm... here... thinking about sleeping with another girl even if I only want her." His breathing became heavier and he really started to realize how much he needed Grace. He caressed her cheek. "It would be so wrong. I just... I don't know what happened. Please don't take this personal, you know you're a great woman."

"I get why you feel guilty towards her, just don't feel it towards me." She bit her lip as she saw the sadness taking over his face. "You really love her, don't you? I think you should try to get her back."

"Yeah, I really love her," he whispered, tears itching in his eyes. "I-I was such an asshole, it would be a wonder if she'd still want me back."

"Maybe it is. But you haven't much to lose, right? Win her back. You're charming, you're hot... Just show her how much she means to you, how wrong you were." She chuckled. "Maybe you should write her an old fashioned love letter, so you can take the time to explain your thoughts and your feelings before her emotions start to mess with your head again. And then give her time to heal and figure out what she wants. One final plea before you leave the decision to her." She chuckled as she saw his face. Yeah that wasn't very biker-ish. "Or just look into your heart to find the best way."

For a moment he thought about the love letter. Would Grace like it? What should he write? The last love letter he wrote was probably when he was in 'love' for the first time when he was twelve. "Oh, uh, you think she'd like this? Maybe I think about it... or I just tell her how I feel," he nodded eagerly. Leonie was right, he hasn't much to lose at all, but there was a little chance to get her back.

"Every girl likes a guy who fights for her," she winked. "You should do the thing that makes you the most comfortable. I don't know how she is when she's hurt and angry. Would she freak out or stay calm?"

He could give her a call later, or show up at her house tomorrow. But when she told her parents already, that might not be the best idea. "I don't know. She stayed calm for a pretty long time but today she freaked out. So I'm not sure..."

"Hmm. Think you know her best, I only spoke once to her," she admitted. "You can always try both, if one doesn't work." She picked up her bra and started to clothe herself again.

"I'll find something," he said, hoping he'd really find a way to talk to her. He turned his head to the side when Leonie got dressed again. "I owe you something. You always let Chibs down for me," he smirked briefly.

She kissed his cheek. "I would let all your brothers down for you." She winked. "I hope you two work it out, even tough I'm a little jealous. But you two are a cute couple."

"Good to know," he winked and put on his shirt again. "Don't be jealous, there are many people out there, you know that."

She caressed his side, a playful grin around her lips as she moved them to ear. "Never said she's the one I'd be jealous of," she whispered.

Juice raised an eyebrow, chuckling. "How can I not understand that?" he asked, looking down at her.

She smirked. "Well if you'll ever get her that far to do a threesome, remember that you owe me something."

The thought of a threesome with Grace and her turned him on, he had to admit that. His breath flattered for a second. "We'll see," he muttered.

"You're right, I should take one step at a time." She caressed his cheek. "Goodbye sweetheart. Good luck tomorrow. Just show her your heart, it's beautiful." Winking, she turned around and left his room.

"Yeah... thanks, Leonie," he said, smiling. After he had left his room he took a shower and tried to get some sleep.

 

 

 


	55. Chapter 55

Faye spent the lunch and noon together with Jay until he had to work. She hadn't a shift tonight so she used the time to visit Grace. Sure, Juice was her best friend, but Grace was too and she wanted to be there for her, too. She knocked on the door but no one opened, her mother shoved the curtains to the side but as soon as she saw her, she didn't even bother to open the door. She probably knew about the break up already. After knocking again, her father opened the door and smiled briefly. She saw that he wasn't her biggest fan either, but at least he wasn't rude. "Grace!"

Grace had been lying on her bed, listening to some music but literally every song passing by seemed to be a love song. It was almost a relief when her father called her. She stood up and walked to the stairs, peeking down and seeing Faye. "Hey," she said numbly.

Faye smiled briefly. "Hey, can we talk?" she asked, clearing her throat. It was a little weird with her dad standing next to her.

Grace nodded. "Yeah, come up..." She turned around, turned the music a little lower and sat down on the bed.

Faye went quickly upstairs and closed the door behind her, sitting down next to Grace. "I heard you talked to Juice again, didn't went well, huh?" She sighed and took Grace's hand in hers. "I'm sorry for what he did to you."

"No, not really," she muttered, bending her head. She didn't like the idea that she had talked to Juice about their fight, but there wasn't much she could do about. "I was just stupid for thinking he could be the one."

"No, doesn't mean you're stupid, sweetie. You fell in love, he did too. Guess you both ignored the fact that you're too different." She didn't want to force Grace to give Juice another chance just because he was her best friend, he really had hurt that girl.

"I think we did pretty well on most area's," she muttered. "Better than I thought. Just that one stupid thing." She wiped her eyes. "I don't think we're too different, I accepted him, I never complained about his biker lifestyle, about all the booze, all the half-naked girls around, the fact that half of the town is scared of him. I loved him. But he just turned out to be an asshole."

Faye took a deep breath and bit her lip. "He's not an asshole. What he did was awful and I couldn't forgive him if I were his girlfriend. But Juice is... Juice. He's actually the sweetest guy one could get, I don't know why he did what he did," she sighed deeply.

Grace dropped down on her back and stared at the ceiling. "I really hope you will soon meet other guys for if that's the sweetest guy you can think of, it's really pathetic. He even got mad because I was angry that he had cheated on me. How is that sweet," she huffed. She sighed. "Maybe he's a sweet friend, but he sucks as a boyfriend, nobody can deny that."

"He doesn't suck, Grace. But yes, what he did wasn't okay, and that he's mad now doesn't help at all because he has no reason to be mad. You have a reason to be angry at him." She looked back at her friend, realizing how hard it hit her too. "That's some complicated shit between you two."

Grace gritted her teeth. "I'm not asking you to choose between us, but please don't try to convince me that he's not an asshole or that he doesn't suck at relationships for that really is the only way I can... I can deal with losing him." She swallowed, but the lump in her throat refused to leave. "It's like you said. He had no reason to be mad at me, he cheated on me and he didn't even know why... well in my eyes that's the description of an asshole."

Faye raised an eyebrow, surprised by the way she talked to her ‒ but she kept silent. The last thing she wanted now was to fight with one of her best friends. "Okay, he's an asshole, guess you know him better," she muttered. Sure, she knew Juice since the first day he showed up at the club, but she had never been in a relationship with him. But well, if they would've been, it would've been different than his and Grace's relationship. "I just want to help. I hate to see you sad..."

"I know... But there isn't much you can do about it. It will take a while before I feel happy again." Slowly the tears filled her eyes again, but only a few managed to escape.

"I know. I hope it doesn't take too long." She knew exactly how it felt to be heartbroken, how it felt to be different than before.

There was a silence again while Grace focused solely on her breathing. When she trusted her voice again, she asked: "Can you be honest about this? I know you said you wouldn't be able to live without sex... But imagine that you can be with Happy, that it no longer matters that he is asexual or that you're the president's daughter... but that you can't have sex for some reason... Would you stay with him? Just so you can be around him, cuddle, kiss... do all those other things except the deed itself... What do you think you would do?" She thought to know the answer ‒ she had a feeling her friend didn't even have to think about it.

Faye shrugged briefly, not sure what to answer. "The problem is that Happy isn't a guy who loves to cuddle. Of course, I'd stay with him, I'd do anything for this man ‒ which sounds pretty desperate, I know that. But I guess it would be hella hard ‒ we both enjoy sex way too much," she answered honestly and she wiped the few tears away that had escaped Grace's eyes.

"But you would find other ways," she muttered. "I know you would, 'cause you love him." She sat up again, staring at her hands. "Okay I know that's not fair, he said that he really wanted to move on with me without sex..." She sighed, raking a hand through her hair. "Guess that isn't even the reason we broke up, nor the fact that he cheated on me ‒ it's the fact that he just can't give me the space to heal, I'm just... not allowed to be angry with him and I... I really hadn't seen that coming. I thought he would do anything for me if it meant that we still had a chance together, but I guess I was wrong."

"That's the problem, yes. He wants you and he wants to show everyone that you're his, and he adores you so much that he can't keep his hands from you. But he needs to give you time. I think he could handle a few days or a week, but that's too short for you, right?" Which she also could understand.

"It's impossible to say how long it will take before I feel comfortable around him again, that I'm starting to like his touches again." She bit her lip. "Especially after today, I didn't think it was possible but he managed to hurt me even more." She sighed. "If he wants me so bad, why risking losing me at all? Is one month of less contact not better than being apart forever? I just don't get it and I find it the rudest thing that he thinks he can tell me how to deal with the pain  _he_ caused.."

"Don't tell me that, I'm on your side in that case. Like I said, I couldn't forgive a man at all after he cheated on me. I think he has to learn how a relationship works because it doesn't work like that." She thought for a moment if there was another solution how they could work this out, but it was hard. "Man, I have really no idea how to help. But is there anything I can do for you?"

"I think we are beyond help," she sighed. "Guess it's for the best. I can't make him happy, he was frustrated half of the time that we were together and it's better if he just falls in love with someone like Leonie." Sighing, she buried her face against her knees. "I don't think there's anything you can do. I honestly have no idea how to deal with a broken heart."

"Leonie is a nice girl but she's not you, and Juice wants you." She put an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. "What if you go out and start dating with a guy who's more like you? And if you can't get Juice out of your head then you two should talk again."

"Yeah, that's an idea..." She sighed. "But it will take months before I'm ready to date someone else again, I guess." She leaned into Faye's embrace, sighing.

"Probably, yes. But until then, you still have your friends around. You can always call me, and I'm sure that you also can call Adrian anytime. Maybe even Leonie," she shrugged briefly. Why wouldn't she? Leonie was a nice girl. 

Grace smiled. "Yeah, that's good to know. Maybe you can figure out Leonie's number? She was really sweet the other day."

"I see her almost everyday, I'll ask her tomorrow for her number. I'm sure she'd love to talk to you more often," she smiled briefly as she saw Grace smiling. "Now... that's what I wanna see!"

"Thanks! So eh, I haven't even talked to Jay yesterday. Did he like it around the clubhouse?" she asked.

"Uh, well, I think he won't be their biggest fan but it was okay. He only talked to Jax, Hap and a few girls," she nodded.

"It's a start," Grace smiled. She chuckled. "Maybe you should set up a bet for the one getting into his pants. Gave me some interesting interaction those first times." Sure, back then she had felt horrible but she could laugh about it now.

"With the croweaters or what? I'm pretty sure the guys would prefer a woman for this and not my hot boyfriend," she laughed softly. It was great that Grace could laugh about this stupid bet now.

"They might surprise you. Juice was into a guy once, so yeah, maybe he's in for a change now and does it again," she shrugged. A little late she realized that she had promised him never to tell anyone, but right now she couldn't care less. "Especially when all other girls turn out to be disappointing after me."

Faye looked at Grace with wide eyes after what she just told her. "Wait, what? Why didn't I know about this? He really was into a guy once?" she asked in surprise. Not that it shocked her, it was rather hilarious. "Man, that's weird news."

"He was drunk, thought that it was a girl, but when he found out it was a man he still wanted to gain some experience. So yeah, he was literally into a guy, but not figuratively, I don't think there were real feelings." She shoved a hand underneath her head as she looked up to the ceiling again. "We were doing some truth-game when I was at his apartment for the first time. I freaked out when I heard it." She sighed softly. "If I look back at our first talks then I have changed so much. He thinks that he's some alien for wanting to change for the one he thinks he loves, even though he doesn't want it but feels obliged, but he doesn't even see how much I already changed because of him. Not for him, not so he would like me more. Just by his influence. I even cursed for the first time in my life today."

"I know you don't wanna hear this, but he never told me that and I'm his best friend since years, we talk about... everything. But this one... he never said a word to me but he trusted you. I guess that says a lot." She smiled briefly. "I hope he'll realize soon what he actually asked for. He's afraid to turn into a person he isn't, but he would be still him. Guys are so complicated."

"Yeah, don't tell me that," she sighed. "I know he trusted me and usually I'm good in keeping secrets, but well," she shrugged. "I don't think he minds that I told you." Actually she shouldn't even care about whether he would mind or not, but despite everything she cared about him and she knew that would never stop. "Honestly, I doubt that he will ever truly understand why I needed the distance. When we talked things through, I was really calm and rational, the emotions only came later." She sighed. "But he still didn't get it. I wanted to punish him for what he did and at the same time I thought it would be a good way to learn to trust him again. It sounded like a solution really making sense... But I dunno, maybe he had this other... image of me, being a good girl, forgiving him instantly, sweet to the max... I know it annoyed him that he thought that I was trying to be a saint, but at the same time I bet he also hoped that it would make things easier for him. Like, I dunno, I'm too sweet or friendly to have a right to be mad," she mused, knowing she was more trying to get her thoughts straight than really contributing to a conversation.

"Maybe. Maybe one day he will realize what he has lost. To be honest, I think he already knows that. You're an amazing girl, Grace. At the beginning it was hard for me to understand you, how you can live like that, but that changed. I mean, sometimes I still ask myself how you can resist a guy like Juice, but you believe in real love and you want to give yourself to the right one ‒ that makes me actually jealous that I didn't wait. Don't change for anyone, okay? You have a right to be mad, angry or whatever."

Grace smiled, blossoming up a bit as she heard that Faye did value her decision to save herself for the true one. At least someone seemed to understand. "Thank you for your kind words," she smiled. "Hope to meet a man soon who agrees with you," she said with a slight smirk. "Other than Adrian," she chuckled.

"You don't have to thank me, it's the truth." She smirked briefly, shrugging. "Adrian is a cutie and he's a good man. I'm glad you found a friend in him, I think you two are the perfect match!"

"Please, you sound like my mom now." She rolled her eyes. "I don't think we're the perfect match at all. There's no chemistry and I don't know... I liked Juice's rough edges. He always made me feel special." She sighed softly, silently wishing they could just turn back time, so she never would have gone to the clubhouse yesterday.

"No, don't get me wrong. I don't think you two should date, but he's the perfect friend for you. I guess he just knows exactly how you feel. Better than anyone else," she explained.

"Oh good," she said, smiling in relief. "Really can't handle two people pushing me to hook up with Adrian."

"You are special to Juice, he never met a girl like you before."

 She rolled on her side and sighed. "Yeah I know. Girls who can't have sex with him, are very rare." She was silent for awhile. "Did you two ever... did something?"

The redhead leaned back against a pillow and played with a strand of hair. "He's a hot guy, can't blame the girls", she sighed softly. Her eyes met Grace's and a smile formed on her lips. "No, never. I know that we're pretty close, but I swear we never touched each other in such a way."

Grace nodded slowly. "Wouldn't have been surprised, tho. With your sex without meaning mentality. I can assure you that you really missed something." She chuckled briefly, then her face became sad again and she sighed.

"Still doesn't mean we fuck around with everyone, I don't. To be honest, I had four guys yet and one girl, that's it. And I was with everyone of them in a relationship, except Happy," she shrugged, forcing a smile while trying not to think about Miles, who she didn't count in. 

Her answer surprised Grace, actually she had thought that one night stands were a regular thing for her. "That's way less people than I thought," she chuckled. "Didn't know you were into girls too, by the way." It felt weird, but for some reason the thought wasn't as disturbing as when Juice had admitted he'd done things with a man. 

"What did you think? That I slept with hundreds of people? Nah, I love sex, but I'm not a sex junkie," she chuckled. "Well, sometimes it's easier with a girl, they understand you better." When she saw Grace's face became sad again she let out a sigh. "I wish I could distract you."

"Yeah, wish I could distract myself too." She stared forward. "It's just that every single thought is ending up with him. And the fact that I'm almost sure that he's with another girl now, isn't helping either."

She took Grace's face in her hands and forced her to look at her. "If he's with another girl already, he's an idiot."

She dropped her eyes as Faye grabbed her face, even though her friend was trying to hold her glance. "Well, we already know that he's an idiot." She pressed her lips together, hating the fact that she was about to cry  _again_.

"Yeah, we do," she muttered. It was clear that her friend was close to crying again. "You wanna come with me? Jay and I can be a funny company, I think you'd be distracted by us."

"I don't know..." She looked at the alarm clock, it was close to 9. "Maybe I should try to get some sleep, I barely slept tonight." She didn't know if she would be able to sleep, but she did feel exhausted.

"Okay, but if you need anything call me, okay? No matter what time it is." She wanted Grace to know that she could count on her.

"Thank you." She hugged her friend. "I know it will be hard for you too that we broke up, and that you're a kind of... in between us."

She hugged her back. "Don't worry about that. I love you both and I won't choose between you two. Of course it's hard and I hate the fact that my two best friends broke up, but I can't change it."

"No, you can't," she said softly. Luckily there weren't a lot of occasions were they would see each other; at Faye's birthday at most and she was sure her friend wouldn't mind if she came around before he would be there. She got up from the bed and walked her out to the door.

Faye followed her to the door and hugged her one more time. Maybe she'd find a way to help them, but at the moment they both needed a little distance. "See you, sweetie," she waved at her parents who stood in the door frame of the living room and left.

* * *

Of course Grace couldn't sleep. She was lying on her stomach with her phone in her hands, swiping through the pictures of Juice and her. Now and then she zoomed in, staring at his dazzling smile while tears were gliding down her cheeks. He looked so happy, they both did. It was taken just two weeks ago, when he had taken her to a small fair out of town and he had dragged her to attractions for which they had been far too old. It hadn't stopped him, and she could still hear his laughter as they tried to fit into the too small carts, she could see the sparkle in his eyes. Had these moments not been special for him? Why was he putting always so much emphasis on their intimacy? The past weeks she had also longed for his touch like those first times, but she had also learned that there were other ways to feel that deep connection. In fact, she had valued every moment with him and despite all the tears she had shed today, she still couldn't fully believe that it was over now. 

A knock on the door distracted her from her thoughts. Her first impulse was to pretend that she was sleeping, but she was still sniffling. "Yeah?" she sighed, sitting up straight.

 Her mother came in, slowly, a little hesitating as it seemed. "How do you feel?" 

Grace glared at her. "How does it look like I feel?" 

Sighing, her mother sat down next to her. "I feel sorry for you, Grace." 

She snorted. "Just drop it. I know that you're glad that he's gone." 

"That doesn't mean that I don't feel sorry for you. I just knew he wasn't the right one for you and yes, I'm glad that you have discovered that too. Do you want to talk about it?" 

"I don't. I already talked with Adrian and Faye. They understand me better than you do. Can you please go, mom? I want to be alone." 

Sighing, her mother stood up again. "If that's wait you want, baby..." 

She ignored her, turning back on her stomach and torturing herself with the pictures again. She should delete him, but she couldn't. Not yet.


	56. Chapter 56

Faye sat in Jay's kitchen, staring at the coffee cup, lost in thoughts. Now that Happy was no longer here, she had no reason to leave, so she wondered if she should return to her old job. Of course, it would hurt to see little kids all the time, but she had to face it. Besides, she had earned more money there than at the bar, and two jobs would definitely distract her enough from anything that bothered her. Briefly she looked at her phone to see if anyone had texted her, but it was only Gemma who wanted to know if she was fine.

* * *

"Hey man, good to have you back!" With a wide grin, Kozik threw his arms around him and pulled him in a hug. Happy nodded, slapping his brother on the shoulder. 

"So why you're back?" Kozik asked as they walked inside the Tacoma clubhouse, flopping down on the couch. 

"Missed ya." 

Kozik chuckled. "Right. To be honest I thought you would transfer to Charming officially." 

"Nah man." 

"So what brings you really here?" Kozik held his glance. 

His friend's determination annoyed him, but there was no way he was going to admit that it was because of a girl. "Things just got boring," he shrugged. "Heard the Niners were pissin' you off." 

As his friend raised his eyebrows, his blue eyes revealing his disbelief, Happy quickly stood up and got himself a beer, hoping that would extinguish the sudden unrest he was feeling.

Kozik watched his brother walk away, obviously trying to escape the subject. He knew his friend for years. Trying to push him to talk never resulted in anything but a black eye. Still he was curious, it wasn't easy to distract that guy's mind and he didn't keep a lot of secrets from him. He decided to be patient, one day he would let his guard down and that what was bothering him would slip his lips.

* * *

Juice had spent the morning in the workshop, where he spent most of the time alone, which was good, giving him enough time to think about a lot, even if he had tried that half the night anyway. When he was done with everything, he took another shower, got dressed and went to his bike. He had decided to go to Grace, he wanted to talk to her in person, not just on the phone. Leonie's words were buzzing in his head, and he really hoped he could persuade Grace to give him another chance, even though he had almost given up hope. After fifteen minutes, he parked his bike in front of Grace's house, after seeing that her parents had just left. At least he had some time to talk to her alone. Nervously, he went to the door and rang the bell, rubbing his hands on his pants and swallowing.

* * *

Grace had asked Adrian to come over so they could work out some things for their volunteer work. She really needed the distraction, she welcomed everything that drifted her thoughts away from Juice. Forcing a smile on her face, she swung open the door, but she petrified as she saw that it wasn't Adrian at all, but Juice. A rush of emotions stormed through her body and she felt how every muscle tensed. Without saying anything, she just stared at him.

Juice looked at Grace, at her face. She looked like she had just seen a ghost, and he couldn't blame her for that. "Hey, I'm probably the last person you wanna see right now, but I thought about many things and I regret how I behaved." It went easier then he had thought; all the words came out in one sentence.

Grace looked reluctantly at him, crossing her arms and leaning with her shoulder against the door frame. It wasn't exactly the first time he showed up at the door after messing things up, but at least he wasn't drunk this time. "Okay. So what do you regret exactly?"

"Everything. From the moment I cheated on you until yesterday," he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I behaved like an asshole, I just didn't realize it in that moment. I was just mad that you didn't even want me to kiss you anymore. I-I don't know why I didn't understand that."

"You do now?" She couldn't ward off her cold tone. What did he expect from her now? She didn't even know if she believed him, maybe he just told her what he thought that she wanted to hear as some last resort.

"I do. All I can think about is you and I don't wanna lose you. I probably did already, but... I really love you." Her cold tone didn't left him untouched, it hurt him. The fear hat she couldn't forgive him drove him crazy.

When she heard his last words, a shiver crept down her spine. She didn't know if she believed it. "What's love, according to you?" she asked. She had asked him the same question yesterday, but he had never answered.

He shrugged briefly, looking down at the ground. "Being there for each other in good and bad times, accept the others wishes, loyalty."

It felt like he was just summing up something from a book, instead of convincing her that she was the only one his heart beat for. "So what now?" she asked with a sigh.

"I don't know. I'm not a guy of big words in that case. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry and that I love you." He was completely overwhelmed with all of this, he felt like he was thirteen years old again, and that didn't help him at all.

"Well I'm glad that you're sorry, even thought that doesn't change anything about what you did to me. It almost feels like I'm one of those clubhouse girls, who you ditch when they are not satisfying enough anymore." She held his glance. "You've been with one of them last night, didn't you?"

"I know that it doesn't change anything. And you know that you're not one of them, Grace." Sighing, he leaned against the other side of the door frame. "Yes, I was. Leonie and I talked and ended up in my room, massaging each other. And yeah, I was the one who kissed her, but... we didn't sleep together, I couldn't."

She felt cold, wrapping her arms around herself. "Did you do more than kiss?"

"Not really. I touched her breasts, that's all. Look, I'm sorry, but I wanna be honest with you," he explained desperately.

Grace dropped her eyes. The idea that he had touched her breasts made her feel sick. A tear slipped down her cheek, she searched for words but nothing came up.

Sure, he felt bad, but lying would only cause more problems. "We broke up, my feelings were so messed up. I know it's not an excuse."

"And you thought that that was the best way to win me back? Touching  _another_ girl?" she whispered defeated. "What will happen the next time we get in a fight? You end up with another one in your room because your feelings are so messed up?"

"No, of course not! I wanted to forget about everything at the moment, but I couldn't ‒ no matter how hard I tried," he answered firmly. "That won't happen again. Damn, Grace, people make mistakes and I definitely learned from them. Did you never made a mistake in your life?"

Grace dropped her eyes. "Forgiving you after showing up drunk at my door feels like a mistake. Wanting to give you another chance yesterday feels like a mistake. Every time I only end up hurt. I don't know what to do anymore, Juice, I don't know what you want from me. I can't just swallow my pain every time you apologize..."

"So, everything that has to do with me was a mistake? Is that what you wanna tell me? I guess I don't have to ask if it's really over, right?" he huffed, but he couldn't hide the pain in his voice. It really sounded like this whole relationship was a mistake, but they'd had nice moments too. However, tears formed in his eyes as he looked into hers.

A lump appeared in her throat as she saw his tears. She bent her head. "I think it was. No matter how great you made me feel, it doesn't outweigh the pain of a broken heart. For you were my whole world since I got here and I... I don't know what I am without you. How I should go on without you." Halfway she had started to sob again.

"Mine's broken, too. It's not like that I don't care about this. We could work this out, you could make me a better man... but I don't think you want that anymore and I honestly have no idea what to do now. The only thing I can do is accept your decision." The first tears ran down his cheeks and he didn't even care right now. "I-I'm sorry... for everything I did to you," he muttered. Juice turned around and left, hearing her sobs made him feel even worse, especially because he was the reason for it. She didn't want that anymore and he had to accept that.

His tears were the most awful thing she had ever seen. He was leaving. This time for real. If she would regret letting him go tomorrow, it would be too late. He would surely sleep with someone else tonight, he would feel even worse than yesterday, and it ripped her heart out. "Juice..." She whispered, realizing he didn't hear it. "Juan!" she exclaimed, not knowing why she called him by his real name, she had never done that before. It just felt like her heart was speaking now instead of her voice. As he looked over his shoulder, she breathed in sharply. "You want one final chance?"

He froze when he heard her calling him by his real name. That was something no one has done before except Faye when she was mad at him. But none of his brothers or anyone else. He turned around, surprised but still hurt. "I wouldn't be here if not, Grace..." he swallowed and wiped away the tears.

Sighing, her hands slipped into her pockets. She wasn't ready to touch him, but she did walk closer to him. "You're not gonna like it, but it's the only thing I can offer. I need time alone, to make peace with what you did, let's say for a month. And in this time you have to prove to me that you can stay faithful, even when you are frustrated to the bone."

He listened carefully to her. Sure, it would be hard to stay away from her for so long, but he wanted her back. "No, that's okay. That's the least I can do for you. I'll show you that you're the only girl for me," he answered honestly, looking down at her.

Grace was a little surprised with the easiness with which he gave in, which was such a contrast with the day before. Then he hadn't wanted to be in a relationship without kissing, but now he agreed to not see her at all. "Thank you," she murmured. She didn't know what to do now, maybe it was better to go back inside. She laid her hand against his cheek and wiped a tear away, shivering as he did the same. As a kiss goodbye, she softly pressed her lips against his, closing her eyes, cementing the feeling to her memory because she would have to feed on it for a month.

Why hadn't he reacted like this yesterday? It wasn't even hard. All he wanted was her, but he had known that yesterday too. Why did he had to lose her first to realize that? "I have to thank you... for giving me that chance," he muttered. She really had no reason to thank him at all, but she did it anyway. He tensed as she laid a hand against his cheeks and kissed him, but only because it felt so good, so real. It t

Despite her anger and her pain, she found it hard to let go of his lips, to not turn it into a real kiss ‒ especially because he had kissed another girl yesterday. Still she pulled back her head, looking a little lost at him. What if he couldn't do it? Would this have been the last time she had touched his lips? Would she ever feel his arms around her again? Letting out a shaky sigh, she stepped back. "Goodbye for now," she said, pressing her lips together.

He hadn't dared to deepen the kiss, not after what had happened. This time he really wanted to make things right, otherwise he'd lose her for good. But still, he would miss her touch, her voice, everything. "Yeah... goodbye. Take care of yourself." He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat and pressed a kiss on her forehead before he got on his bike and drove off. This would be a hard time without her.

With leaden steps, Grace entered her house. She didn't know what to feel, but there was still a tightness in her chest that would probably not go away until next month.

* * *

Two days after Juice and she had started their break, Grace was walking through the park with Leonie. She hadn't known if it was wise to give the girl a call after she had kissed Juice, but in the end she shoved the thought away because she had a feeling that she needed the girl. 

"I wanted to thank you once again for taking care of me that night," Grace started quietly, feeling her heart sink as she thought back about that moment. "And you had said that you wanted to hang out some time, so... I thought why not." 

Leonie's fingers glided around her wrist and she led her to a wooden bench, pulling her down on it. "I have to confess something to you, because I don't know if you still want to be friends after that. The day after we talked, I talked with Juice too. He was hurt, hating himself, tensed... so I offered him a massage and somehow we ended up kissing each other. The moment he went for my breast he was reminded of you and he no longer wanted to touch me – he only wanted you... and I felt also guilty about it because I knew it would hurt you." She sighed, staring at the ground. "I regret it, but I can't deny the fact that I also enjoyed the kiss. I was deeply in love with him for almost two years, our last time together was a year ago and... he's still a great and hot guy. I just... want you to know what happened. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore, but I hate having secrets."

Grace stared at her hands, feeling messed up because she had feared that Juice would do that with another woman at exactly that moment, but at the same time the fact that he only wanted her, also did something to her. "I already knew," she admitted. "He told me the day after." 

"That it was me?" 

She nodded. "It made the choice to reach out to you a little harder... but I like you, and I can't really blame you for taking your chances..." She pressed her lips together, a little unsure how to continue. "I want to ask you a favor, Leonie." 

"Sure baby..." The girl squeezed her hand. 

"I didn't give up on him, but I couldn't forgive him yet either. So we agreed that we would be separated for a month and that he will stay away from other girls." Sighing, she continued: "But my trust is broken and I don't know if he will be honest with me if he cheats again, because he will know it's over. So I hoped... that you could keep an eye on him... so that I know at least the truth." Skittishly, she looked at the girl. It was a strange question, but there was just something about this girl that she liked and trusted. 

Leonie gave her a nod. "I can do that, no problem. Juice is a popular guy and nobody slept with him the past months, so when someone does, we girls definitely talk about it. I keep my ears open." She winked. "But he loves you, Grace. He's just thinking with his dick sometimes and I'm sure he's learned his lesson now." 

"Maybe," she muttered – but she still had her doubts. If she was honest, she had no faith in him at all. She already assumed that he would cheat again, that he was just too weak to resist beautiful women, and if she already expected him to blow his chance, it hopefully would hurt less than last time. "Could you or one of your friends uh – try some things now and then? Test him? I just... I just need to know if this will ever work." 

"You sure you want that?" Leonie asked hesitating. 

Grace shrugged. "I don't have much of a choice. If my trust isn't restored after this month, it's going to have a huge impact on our relationship and in the end it will poison it. I – I need this. I need him tested to see how serious he is about me. I know he thinks that he loves me, but he might be misinterpreting his feelings. He never loved a girl before – maybe he just isn't capable of real love. I just... need to figure that out." She looked up at the girl again. "Can you do that for me?"

The girl nodded. "Sure... if that's what you want, I'll encourage some of the girls. But I'm not going to test him myself. I just... need to guard my own heart. I don't want to get heartbroken by him again." 

Grace showed a sad smile. "Yeah, he's a real heartbreaker, huh?" 

"Yeah, he's really talented." She chuckled softly, then she looked at Grace again, more serious, and sighed. "He even broke his own heart. He not only hurt you, he hurt himself too – and I know him well enough to tell you that he will do everything in his might to get you back."

 Grace stared forward, still holding back a little. "We'll see. He still has to learn to think with his head, instead of his... you know." 

"Oh, I know," Leonie chuckled in a meaningful tone, but when Grace stared at her knees in silence, she quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. I have to get used to friends who are not Croweaters."

 Grace gave her a watery smile. "And for me it's the other way around, I guess..."


	57. Chapter 57

"You're still not gonna tell me what happened in Charming?" 

Annoyed, Happy looked over his shoulder. Kozik was leaning against the wall, a very annoying smirk on his face. 

"Nothin' happened."

"So your toothpick magically turned into a cigarette?" 

"Yeah." 

"I'm going with ya tonight." He stepped closer and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and took a drag himself. "You quit. Shouldn't ruin that man." 

"Thought you'd go to your brother?" 

Kozik shrugged. "He's celebrating his birthday again next year." 

"Thought you wanted to be a better brother?" 

"Nah, too late for that. Can't do anything good in his eyes anyway." He took another drag, his curious eyes still on Happy's face. "Can't even remember I've seen you nervous before." 

"I'm not nervous." 

Kozik rolled his eyes. "Yeah you are." 

"Just shut the fuck up," he growled. 

His friend just grinned, showing his hands in defeat and turning away from him before he would end up with a black eye. 

With a sigh Happy turned his head away. The unrest that he was feeling – was that indeed nervousness? He couldn't imagine – but at the same time he knew what was bothering him. Faye was stuck in his mind ever since he had left Charming and he was afraid what he would do if he saw her again. The fact that his friend had decided to go to Chibs' birthday party too, wasn't helping either. Kozik was way too curious and he would definitely stick his nose in things that weren't his business.

* * *

Two weeks had passed since the last time Grace had spoken to Juice, and she missed him like crazy. She even avoided Faye a bit because her friend reminded him of her, making her feel even more lonely. She had even started to hurt herself again, just to bring her thoughts back to her faith, but it was Juice who occupied her mind and not God. Her parents noticed that she wasn't feeling well and her mother had arranged some company; the son of her friend who was apparently looking for a girlfriend. She had said that she was not interested, but her mother had insisted, telling her she needed more Christian friends and that she could at least have dinner with him. She hadn't dared to tell her she was still waiting for Juice and in the end she had agreed; just to be done with her constant remarks. She was nervous, he would pick her up within an hour and she didn't want to leave the house at all. At the moment she was staring at her phone, contemplating if she should call Juice. She wanted to let him know that this meant nothing, before he somehow heard that she was dating someone. Biting her lip, she took a deep breath. Then she called him, just feeling that it was something she needed to do ‒ and at the same time dying to hear his voice.

* * *

The last two weeks he hadn't done much, his motivation for like everything was gone. Sure, if the club needed him, he was there, but that's it. Faye showed up at his apartment three times a week to make sure he was fine, and he was. Well, he pretty much missed Grace, and that was fucking with his mind. When he heard his phone buzzing next to him, he checked who it was, and it was Grace. Immediately he panicked, maybe something had happened to her, why else would she call him after she had wanted to stay away from him for a month? Quickly, he answered his phone. "Hey, you okay?" he asked, concern in his voice.

Her heart jumped as she heard his voice. Breathing in deeply, she closed her eyes. She missed him. Oh, she missed him so much. Should she really wait another two weeks? She knew she loved him, she knew she wanted him back. But the trust issues were still there; she had to stand her ground, she needed the proof that he could be faithful. "I... I just wanted to hear your voice," she whispered. It hadn't been the main reason that she called, but she didn't want to throw the fact that she would have dinner with another man at his feet.

His breathing became faster, relieved that she was okay. Her words, that she wanted to hear his voice, gave him more hope that they could work this out. God, her voice, he had missed it. "Okay, I thought something had happened. It's great to hear your voice, Grace. I really miss you," he muttered, pressing the phone even harder against his ear.

"I miss you too," she admitted.

A smile formed on his lips. She missed him too. Those few words were like music in his ears. All he wanted to do now was hug her, have her around ‒ but he had to wait two more weeks. 

"I uhm..." She bit her lip, not knowing how he was going to react. "My mom kinda talked me into... having dinner with the son of her friend. I uhm... I wanted to tell you that before anyone sees it and tells you I'm dating someone... I'm not. It's just a friendly thing. At least I hope he's friendly." She chuckled nervously.

Quickly, his mood changed. She would have dinner with some other guy. Sure, she told him it wasn't a date at all for her, but still he hated it. "But... you can't..." he muttered. "Why is your mom still trying to get you the perfect boyfriend? What if you start to like this guy? I mean, maybe he's really nice and... and..." he didn't know what to say. On the one hand he was pissed, on the other hand he was scared, scared that he was a great guy.

"Because's she's my mom. She sees that I'm unhappy, that I feel lonely. I understand her, but I can't tell her that I'm trying to work things out with you. I just... don't dare to tell her why I need the space." She smiled a bit as she heard the anxiety in his voice. It was a bit ironic; he was proving that he could be faithful after he had cheated on her and now he was afraid that she would fall in love with someone else. "I honestly know a lot of nice guys. But that's all they are; nice. They're not... you."

"Yeah, I understand but it's still... weird." There was still a strange feeling in his stomach, and all he wanted to do was watch them. But first, he wasn't a stalker, and second, he didn't want to mess things up ‒ he needed to trust her. "Be careful, okay? And if you need anything... call me." He stood up and lit a cigarette. "But I'm glad to hear that those guys you know are not like me."

"I don't think there's anyone like you. And definitely not a guy my mom's trying to set me up with," she chuckled. 

"Okay, one point for you," he laughed briefly. It felt like butterflies flew in his stomach when he heard her chuckle. 

A silence fell, but she didn't want to hang up yet. "How are you?" she asked quietly. "Is it hard to... you know?"

"I'm doing okay." He paused for a moment. "No, the only thing that is hard for me, is to stay away from you. How are you?"

His answer filled her with relief, making her smile. "Yeah, sometimes I hate my own stubbornness. But it did me good. My anger subsided, it's mainly the trust that needs the grow again." She was silent for a moment, listening to his breathing. Suddenly a tear slipped down her cheek. "I miss you. I want to be yours again, even though the whole world says I'm crazy," she whispered, her voice trembling.

"We made it two weeks, we'll be fine the next two weeks, too. I know you need this time and I accept that. If it makes you feel better; that's all I want," he told her but his voice broke for a brief moment. "I miss you so much, I never missed someone that much. And I want you to be mine again, too." Listening to her trembling voice was hard, really, and he just wanted to be there for her.

She wiped her cheeks, trying to control her breathing. "Think I should go. Before my make-up is everywhere but around my eyes."

"Yeah, probably better. But, uh, maybe you can call me later again? Only for a few minutes... and only if it's okay for you," he suggested, hoping she'd say yes.

Grace hesitated. Hearing his voice only made her miss him even more. "I don't know. Maybe... we make it even harder for ourselves." She sighed, staring out of the window. "But I won't ignore you if you call me."

He sighed deeply, nodding. "That's true. I can try not to call you, but I can't promise anything. I just want to know how dinner goes," he told her honestly.

Grace shook her head, biting back a chuckle. "Really Juice, don't worry about that. I'll call you right after it's over and tell you all about how boring it was, okay?"

"Okay, that sounds good to me. I really wanna hear how boring this guy was." A small grin formed on his lips. He already hated that guy.

This time she did let out a soft laugh. Righter after that, the doorbell rang. "There he is," she sighed. "I'll call you later, okay? If not, he probably bored me to death." She closed her eyes as she heard him chuckle, making her heart ache. She hesitated, not knowing how to say goodbye. In the end she just whispered "Bye."

"Have fun," he said. Sure, he wanted her to have fun ‒ as long as that guy would keep his hands off her everything was fine. But what guy would do that? "Bye, I love you." After those words he hung up and leaned his head against the wall, sighing.

Grace felt warmth bubble up from her stomach as she heard his last words, although she was glad he hung up right after that. She wasn't ready to admit that to him too – it felt too early. She first wanted things to be normal between them again. Still she was in a good mood as she walked downstairs and with a smile she opened her door, more curious than nervous. 

"Hey!" she said to the man on the other side of the door. She got a shy smile in return. 

"Hey um, I'm Jake." He held out his hand, pushing a bouquet of flowers under her nose. 

"Oh, thank you!" She took the gift and shook his hand. "I'm Grace." 

Underneath the many freckles on his face, she could see that he was blushing. For some reason he reminded her of the first time she had met Juice. Had she also looked so insecure? She had the feeling that she had been blushing the whole time. "I'm going the put them in the water. You wanna come in?" 

"Uh, sure." His fingers were trembling as he raked them through his reddish brown hair. 

She turned around and walked through the hallway. The thought that Juice was afraid of this rival, made her chuckle inwardly. Taking a bucket from the cupboard under the sink, she filled it with water and put the flowers in it. Behind her she heard her mother talking and the tone of her voice showed her that she thought that he was a nice man – or well, he was more a boy. He seemed to be the opposite of Juice; no wonder her mother was trying this so hard. She walked back and laid a hand on his shoulder, slowly pushing him away from her mother before she would already invite him over for Christmas. "Let's go!" she said, taking her jacket from the hook and stepping outside. "So, you ever been on a blind date before?" she asked as she followed him towards the car. 

"Um, no," he muttered. "I uh, I've never been on a date before at all." 

Although he was cute and even handsome, she wasn't really surprised – he barely dared to look at her. As soon as she sat in the car, she decided to be honest with him. "I uh, I have to confess something. I'm uh, already seeing someone. It's complicated and my mom hates him so she's literally setting me up with every other man she can find... but ehm, I wanted you to know that. You look like a nice guy and I'd love to get to know you, but not in a... romantic way." 

He bowed his head, his cheeks flushing. She wasn't sure if he was really disappointed or that the word romantic just freaked him out. Well, at least she might help him to get some confidence. 

"I hope you don't mind?" 

"No, no of course not," he said quietly, skittishly looking at her. For a moment he stared at her – not in the eye, it rather felt like was looking right through her, then he started the car. "You eh, you have a restaurant in mind?" 

Grace put on the safety belt and leaned back in the seat. "Nope! Surprise me!" She gave him an encouraging smile.

* * *

Leonie hadn't spoken to Juice much since their last time. He never joined the parties anymore, he always went home straight after work or after one beer at most. She didn't know what exactly was the cause; that he just felt down because of Grace, or that he didn't trust himself. She knew Grace was keeping her distance to test his self control, but when he just avoided every girl around there wasn't much to test. Today however Chibs celebrated his birthday, so she knew he would show up and she would take advantage of that. She had asked some friends to give him a bit extra attention, although they didn't really need any encouragement. They all missed their Puerto Rican Son, with his mega watt smile and joyful eyes. Until two weeks ago, Leonie would have done the same. The last days however it was someone else's smile that she was constantly seeing. Grace's. It was stupid – she knew it. The girl had forgiven Juice for cheating on her – she had to be deeply in love with him if she was capable of doing that. Apart from that, she doubted that the girl was bisexual – she knew for sure that thought hadn't even crossed her mind, not ever – but still she couldn't get her out of her head. They had seen each other a lot the past two weeks. Despite her beliefs she was quite open minded. Leonie had introduced her to some of the other girls, but contrary than Faye she didn't seem to think she was above them and Leonie loved her for treating everyone equally. The girl had such a kind heart that there were times she hated the fact that it was a Son who would receive that love, even if it was Juice. Sometimes she just wished Grace would be hers. She was sure Grace would never hurt her in the way she had been hurt before, and Leonie would never hurt her like Juice had done. They understood each other, their lifestyles were so different but neither of them experienced any difficulties. There was just something between them that was different than all her other friendships and she even had the feeling that she wasn't the only one feeling that. Ever since they started hanging out, Grace spent more time with her than with Adrian or Faye and it filled her with hope. She felt bad about it, but part of her was wishing that Juice messed it up again. It would hurt Grace, it really would, but she would be there for the girl, showing her another kind of love and she would proof what loyalty and respect meant. She would make her happy.

* * *

Although Jay had been a few times in the clubhouse, it still didn't feel very familiar. Everyone knew each other very well, and he really felt... young and even a bit sissy around all those leather jackets, tattooed bodies and muscular arms. His arm was lying around Faye's waist as they walked inside, but in a nonchalant way; he didn't want to look clingy, nor did he want to create the impression that he was jealous. He knew all those guys were like uncles or brothers to her – with one exception and that one wasn't around. Faye had told him that he had transferred to another charter and although he sensed that she missed the guy, he was glad that he was gone. Hopefully she could finally get over him. "So, the birthday of which of these guys are we celebrating?" he asked.

Faye inhaled the scent of the nicotine and the alcohol, enjoying it. It was weird, but she grew up here and always felt safe in the club. Briefly, she looked around, but Happy wasn't here, at least she couldn't see him. The girl suppressed a sigh ‒ it was better this way. "This one. Chibs," she pointed at the man who was leaning against the bar, laughing and drinking. "This is really awkward, but I don't even know how old he is... never had the courage to ask a biker about his age," she chuckled softly, pressing a kiss on his lips. She dragged him with her and let go of his hand so she could hug Chibs. "Happy birthday! Hope you got great gifts already," she winked and gave the half naked woman next to him a small grin. Yeah, he got one of his presents already. 

"Yea, the boys never let me down," he answered, grinning.

Jay gave the man with the scarred face a simple handshake, his eyes automatically drifting to the half naked lady next to him. Although he didn't mind looking at her, he was more than glad that his own girlfriend wasn't walking around like this. He took a beer from a prospect and laid his arm around his girl again, watching her from the side as her eyes fluttered through the room. Stroking a strand of her red hair behind her ear, he asked: "Looking for someone?"

Faye quickly looked at Jay again and shook her head. "N-No, I just wanted to check out who's here," she smiled briefly at the man and snuggled up to him. God, she felt so so bad. She really fell for him, but that didn't change her feelings for Happy. Sometimes she wished she was still fifteen ‒ she never had problems like those back then.

"Well, almost everyone, I guess?" he grinned. "Feels like a sin; skipping your brother's birthday."

"It kinda is a sin." She rolled her eyes, grinning. "But not everyone's around. I think you also know who I mean."

"Yeah okay, he's in another state," he shrugged. "But all the others are here, right?"

"Yes, everyone else is here. But we don't have to stay long if you don't want to... just an hour or something," she smiled. It was important to her that he felt comfortable too.

"Why?" he asked, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger. "You think I'm too boring to enjoy myself here?" he teased.

Grinning, her hand wandered to his neck, gently she pulled his head closer. "No, you're not boring at all," she whispered against his lips.

With a smirk, he kissed her. "Good. It's kinda hard to impress you with all these bad ass guys around. I'm almost about to buy a bike myself."

"Don't you dare to change into a bad ass biker if you don't want it. But if you want a bike... I wanna be the first one who get's a ride," she smirked.

"A bike would be a good start, right? And who else should I want to give a ride," he winked, a mischievous grin on his lips because of the double meaning of those words.

She smirked. "Maybe I'll give you a good one later."

His arms slips around her, his forefingers poking her sides. "Maybe?" he repeated with faked wide eyes. "Why maybe?"

"Well, I love to tease you, that's why," she chuckled softly, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him, this time more passionate.

His hands glided up and down her sides. "That's mean," he whispered to her lips, kissing her again. "It's turning me on."

A soft sigh escaped her lips, a smile formed on her lips as she kissed back. "It's turning me on too, believe me. But you have to wait until we get home," she whispered. Her fingertips slid under the hem of his shirt, stroking his skin.

Like always, her touch set him on fire. His hands ran up and down her back, but he wouldn't even think about slipping them underneath the fabric when her father was around. "Now I'm changing my mind. Think an hour at the birthday is enough," he said with a meaningful glance.

Faye let out a soft laugh, enjoying his touch. "Wow, that changed quickly, huh? But I'm fine with it, can't wait to get home and..." her lips wandered from his neck to his ear, "moan your name while riding you," she whispered.

Jay pulled her close, so she could feel him becoming hard at her words. "The best music a man can wish for," he said in a low voice.

Faye breathed in sharply, feeling his manhood pressing against her middle sending a tingling sensation to her core. "Shit, if you keep doing this I can't even wait one hour," she muttered.

Jay grinned satisfied. "You think you're the only who likes to tease?" he whispered as his hands glided around her round ass, pulling her even closer and squeezing his fingers.

"No... and you're pretty good in teasing." She pressed her lips softly against his, sucking on his lower lip. A soft, quiet moan escaped her lips as he squeezed her ass. "J-just let's go home..."

"It won't help me to let your friends like me if I drag you away from this party," he said, kissing her lips. "At least one more hour, okay? Come on, let's dance." 

"As soon as they're horny they leave too. Don't think they would have a problem with it, but okay, one more hour." She laughed softly. 

* * *

Juice was sitting standing between Chibs and Tig, talking to them. He enjoyed the party, it was always nice to celebrate a birthday, but he couldn't stop thinking about Grace and her 'date', it drove him crazy. And that was the reason why he was already drunk, not too drunk, but drunk. He felt the urge to call or text her every five minutes, but he couldn't do that, that would mess things up again. Hopefully she was able to forgive him completely, especially after he stayed faithful, he wasn't even interested in any other women or croweaters here.

Leonie was watching Juice for some time while she was talking to Half Sack. He had pulled her on his lap and was playing with her hair. For a while she kept listening to the man, but right when he started to kiss her neck she concluded that Juice was almost drowning himself with alcohol, she gave Sack a kiss, whispered something in his ear and went to Juice. "Hey!" she said, sitting down on the stool next to him. "Long time no see!"

Juice looked up as Leonie sat next to him, frowning. "Hey. Yeah, I wasn't in the mood for much parties the past two weeks," he told her, shrugging. "But can't say no to Chibs' birthday party." 

She winked at the prospect behind the bar after she'd signaled for two random drinks; then she shoved one towards Juice. "So how are you?" she asked. "You're looking at your phone as if someone's about to die."

He took the drink in his hand and smiled briefly. "Thanks." After taking a large gulp, he looked at the girl again. "No, I'm just waiting for a call from Grace."

His answer surprised her, Grace hadn't mentioned that they were talking again. There was a little flame of jealousy in her stomach which she hated, but she couldn't help it. "Oh, you two are talking again? I'm happy to hear that!" she smiled.

"No, not really. We talked for a few minutes today, it was the first time again. But she said she'd call me again later, so I'm waiting." And he got really impatient. Hours had passed since the first call.

"What is it about?" she asked innocently. They had talked about a lot of private things, so it wasn't a strange question. "You look worried."

"Her mom saw how sad she was and thought a date with a nice guy would help, but that's bullshit. Grace just wanted to let me know that it wasn't something serious," he explained. "And a few hours passed already."

"So?" Leonie asked. Of course she knew all about the date, but she wanted to keep her closeness to Grace secret a little longer. "They probably have a good time. She's a big girl, she can take of herself. She's just having some fun, and you should have fun to." She held out her hand. "Come on, dance with me."

"I know that, but maybe he's a fine guy. Don't get me wrong, I hope it's a nice guy and not an asshole, but it's weird to know that she has a date, which she doesn't actually see as a date." All of this sounded pretty confusing, so he decided stop talking about it. The man looked at her hand and shook his head. "Sorry, not in the mood. Go have some fun with others," he smiled briefly.

It was clear as day that he was jealous that another guy did spend time with her and he didn't, but Leonie knew he had nothing to fear. "I know you're not in the mood. That's the whole point. Come on Juice, it's hard to see you sitting here in a corner all grumpy. Or do you wanna play pool? Play darts?"

"I'm not grumpy... just waitin'," he muttered. "Fine, let's play darts." With one sip he drunk the rest of the liquid in his glass and got up. "One round, then you let me sit grumpy in the corner again." A grin formed on his lips.

"Only if you win," she teased. "Otherwise you'll dance with me!" She took his hand and led him towards the dartboards.

"That's why I chose darts, I'm pretty good in it," he winked. It was not that he didn't want to dance, just not with her or anyone else except Grace. And he was never a dancer, so. As soon as they reached the dart boards he pulled his hand back and grabbed the darts, giving her three of them.

"Well, I'm not bad either," she said with a smirk, rolling one of the darts between her fingers. 

"That's the problem. You're good in pool and darts. Is there something you're not good at?" he asked chuckling. 

"I'm the worst in ball sports. So yeah, you would win a soccer match from me." She turned towards the dartboard. "What are we going to do? Round the world?"

"Mh, dunno. You tell me."

"Shots whenever we hit a triple?" she asked before she aimed at the 1.

"Yeah, fine with me," he nodded and watched her, but he couldn't resist and checked his phone one more time. Still no call.

Leonie ordered one of the girls to get some shots ready, where after they started to throw the darts. They were both skilled, climbing up from 1 to 20 in the same pace, but as the drinks were flowing they started to loose their steady hand and they even managed to miss the whole board. "I think we're not even gonna make it to twenty," she giggled as they were both stuck at 17 for at least ten minutes.

Now it was really hard to concentrate on the dart board. Not only because he was waiting for a call but because he was pretty drunk. "If we keep playing until tomorrow we maybe make it to nineteen," he chuckled. For a moment he had to sat down on the couch next to the dart board.

Leonie chuckled, stumbling over her feet as she wanted to pick up his darts. Instead of continuing the game, she flopped down on the couch next to him, a bottle in her hand. "Maybe we need a little break. Or more booze." She giggled, leaning back in the couch and winking at a few of the girls.

He turned his head to the side, shaking his head. "No more booze. Sleep would be good," he grinned. But fact was that he wouldn't be able to close his eyes before he got that call. And again the fear rose inside him at the thought that Grace would like this guy. It was okay for him if they would build a friendship, but he feared more. 

It didn't take long before one of the newest croweaters sat down on her lap and Leonie kissed her cheek, wrapping an arm around her. Another sat down sideways on Juice's lap and curiously she looked aside. The girl didn't do anything besides leaning with her cheek against his chest while talking to the new girl at Leonie's lap.

A little overwhelmed he shoved her away. "I'm sure Leonie has no problem with two girls on her lap," he muttered, but his voice was still firm. Still, there was only one girl he wanted to sit on his lap.

Leonie sighed. "Come on, Juice. It's just a girl on your lap, nothing wrong about that. You don't even trust yourself with  _that_? How are you ever going to prove her you can resist other girls if you just ignore them? Doesn't she deserve to know if you can really handle the attention? All you do now, is hiding from it."

He glared at Leonie and stayed silent for a while. "That's bullshit and you know it. Why should I let another girl sit on my lap if I don't want it? I can resist, I doesn't have to prove it in such a way," he snarled.

Leonie shrugged. "I think you're wrong. I think you're not trusting yourself with a girl coming close and I don't think it's fair towards Grace. You avoided every party up to now, just because you're afraid you mess it up again. You don't trust yourself. And before you can convince someone else to trust you, you should first learn to trust yourself, resisting your... manly instincts."

"No, I think you're wrong! I trust myself around girls, I'm just not interested. Could it be that you don't want to accept the fact that I'm not in the mood to attend at all parties? Now I maybe know why your relationships never worked!" She really knew how to piss him off right now. "Enjoy the party," he snorted, stood up and disappeared with a bottle of whiskey in his room.

His words stung. It wasn't because of her that most of her relationship hadn't end well. Sighing, she watched him leave. What was the cause of his anger? He had to know that she was hitting a sore spot, right?


	58. Chapter 58

Although the date started a bit awkward, with Jake blushing at almost every word she said without being able to keep his eyes away from the table top, the young man seemed to get used to her as the night progressed. Grace talked a lot – about her life before she moved, about her life in Charming, about the charity plans and slowly he started to open up too. When they discovered that they were both playing piano, they had a common interest that called up enthusiasm in the boy that had been so shy before. He was a sweet guy, and maybe she would have given him a chance if she had never met Juice, but those two were such opposites that she couldn't imagine that he would ever be able to call up the same feelings Juice did. She loved his confidence, that never turned into arrogance. 

A waitress handed the menu as they were ready to order their desserts. 

"So, did you like your first date? Even though it wasn't really a real one," she said in an apologetic tone. 

"I liked it more than I thought. You're easy to talk to, Grace. Usually I can't get out a single word when I'm with a beautiful girl." His honesty made her blush a bit. "Well, maybe it helped that you didn't consider this as a date," he mused. "You eh, you had a lot of dates?" 

She shook her head. "No. Actually I never had one, I think. Things eh, went pretty fast between me and my boyfriend and we already knew from the first moment that we liked each other." 

He chuckled. "Love at first sight?" 

She lifted the corner of her mouth. "I guess." 

Jake sat up a little straighter. "So why does your mother set you up with a date if you already have someone?" 

"We eh, had a fight and we are working things out now. She eh, she doesn't know. She never liked him." 

"Why not?" 

Grace took a sip of her wine. "He's a biker. Not just a motorcycle enthusiast but eh, with a cut and stuff like that. Not exactly the sweet friendly young man my mom had in mind," she winked. "Although he is. She just never gave him a second chance after he blew up their first meeting." 

His eyes had gone wide as she told him about Juice. She chuckled inwardly, it wasn't the first time people responded in a way like that. She didn't mind; before she met Juice she'd never believed to fall in love with a biker either. 

"I hope you two work it out," he said, hesitantly. "Has to be nice. Being together with someone." 

"It is." She smiled, leaning a little forward and placing her hand on his. "You'll find a sweet girl too. I'm sure of it." 

He stared at his plate. "You think? I don't even know how to flirt." 

"Well, it isn't that hard. Looking a girl in the eye and smiling is a start." He raised his head and skittishly looked at her, showing her a brief smile. 

"Yes, exactly. You have a beautiful smile, I'm sure it will make the blood of many girls flow faster." She felt warm when she saw how his face relaxed a little. "Why don't we go to a bar after we've finished our desserts. Try to flirt with some girls. I'll be your instructor," she chuckled. "Not that I'm an expert but I remember exactly how Juice stole my heart." And that of many others. 

"Juice?" the boy frowned. 

"It's uh, his biker name. Juan Carlos, is his real name. But I never called him that." She shrugged. "So, what do you think? Shall we use this date to get you a real one?" 

"Uh – we can try." 

That was good enough for Grace. "Okay," she said excitedly. "We're going to find you a sweet girl, I promise."

* * *

Grace chuckled as she failed to put the key in the hole. She had drank too much. For the first time in her life she was tipsy and it was ironic that it was because of a date her  _mother_ set her up with. It was around twelve. As she had finally opened the door, her mother walked up the hallway, looking tired. 

"Sorry," she said. "I drank too much. But it was a reaaaally sweet guy." She hugged her mother. "Thanks mom. I had fun tonight." 

Her mother kissed her cheek. "I'm surprised you stayed away for so long!" 

"Yeah, we went to a bar and talked a bit more." She yawned, leaning to her mother and feeling too tired to climb the stairs. "Going to sleep now, kay?" 

"Of course, my dear. I'm happy that you had a good night." 

Grace nodded and dragged herself upstairs, flopping down on her bed. She remembered that she had told Juice to call him when the date was over. Which was now. It was however late – although he had told her once that she could call him whenever she wanted. So why not in the middle of the night? Grabbing her phone, she discovered that she had already received a message of him, almost an hour ago, asking her how her night was. Would she send back a text? No, she had promised to call him and a good girl never broke her promises, so she scrolled through her contact list until she had found his name.

It felt like hours had passed when he finally heard his phone buzz. Quickly, he sat up and answered his phone. "Hey!" He didn't even hear her voice yet but he was relieved that she called. Still, Leonie's words were buzzing in his head. Who the hell did she think she was? The last two weeks he hadn't looked at any girl and it wasn't even hard for him.

"Hey you," Grace said with an elated voice, instantly smiling as she heard his voice. "Well I'm finally home! And I would call. So... here I call!" she chuckled, resting her head in her pillow as she pressed the device to her ear.

Juice frowned. "Are you drunk?" he chuckled.

"No I'm not! Well, maybe a little," she had to admit, giggling. 

Damn, even drunk she sounded so cute. But now he was even more afraid that she had more fun than ever. He leaned back against his pillows. "How was your evening?"

"I had a really good night. Jake is just the cutest guy I've ever seen, but he was so shy that he could only blush the first hour! But after listening to my rattling for an hour he started to open up and well... when he told me he didn't know how to flirt I kinda taught him in a bar, but he needed so many drinks to gather courage to go to a nice girl that I couldn't let him drink alone so yeah I drank too much now," she rattled, stumbling over her words now and then.

Juice tried to follow all her words, but he was drunk too and it was kinda hard, but he understood most of it. "So you actually went out on a date to get him another date? Man, this is confusing." He let out a laugh, rubbing his neck. 

"Yeah, we got him another date," she laughed. "It was kinda cute. I told him how you wrapped me around your finger and he well, tried it too, and it worked for him 'cause I left the place when he was talking to a girl for at least fifteen minutes. Guess he's worshiping you now." 

 "You think? I'm sure he's worshiping you more. You probably helped him to get a girl," he smirked, running his fingers over the sheets. 

"But only because I could pass on your magical moves. Verbally," she added, chuckling. 

"My magical moves? Now that sounds interesting," he chuckled. 

"They were interesting," she giggled. 

He grinned. "Well at least I don't have to be afraid that you two end up together, seems like he's a nice guy. And your mom has no problem with you being drunk?" He raised an eyebrow.

She rolled on her stomach, her arms folded around the pillow and the phone on top of it, on speaker at the lowest volume so she didn't have to hold it the whole time. "I'm not drunk, you know, my mom can handle one drink too much. She probably thought I was just happy. But how was your your night? You didn't worry to much, right?"

He closed his eyes while he kept listening to her. It felt so... normal. Both were calm, no one was tensed. Sure, that was the alcohol's fault, but right now he was glad that she was a little drunk. Maybe their phone call would last longer than a few minutes. "Bet she's probably already planning your wedding with him. My night was okay. I wasn't in the mood for a party, but I couldn't say no to Chibs."

"Well my mom can plan whatever she wants. At least it keeps her busy," she said shrugging. "I'm glad your night was okay." She stared at the screen. "It's so weird to talk to a screen," she thought out loud.

"Oh yeah, phones are so weird, aren't they?" he grinned briefly. "I wish you'd lay next to me... in my arms. Would be way better."

"Hmm yeah, I wish I was lying in your arms right now too." She pouted, even though he couldn't see that.

Oh, those words were better than anything he could have imagined. She wanted to be with him, too. Was that the alcohol speaking ? Or did she really want that? "I can't wait for the two weeks to be over. To have you with me again, to be my girl again," he muttered.

"We're halfway," she tried to cheer him up, hating to hear him sad, even though he had deserved to feel sad for a few days. "But yeah, I feel you. I miss you. I want to see you."

"I know! I just miss you a lot. God, I sound like a whining toddler," he laughed. "Okay, let's change the topic. That only makes it harder for us. What did you wear today?" It was such a random question, but he really wanted to know. It had been a date, but he hoped she wore a grey sweater or something not too sexy.

She chuckled. "I wanted to make my mom believe that I cared about the date so I'm wearing a cute red dress... it's new, I don't think you have seen it. You wanna see it?"

"What kind of question is that? You really think I'd answer with no?" he asked, his tone way more flirty now than before. 

She pressed some buttons on the screen. "There is a way to videochat, right?" she muttered to herself, not knowing what she was actually doing.

"Just hang up and start a video call, I'll wait." He laughed briefly. He hadn't seen her in two weeks so he couldn't wait to see her now. Well, at least through the phone.

"Okay." She ended the call, went back to her contact list and started the video call. The moment she saw him, she waved enthusiastically at him. "Hi!" she said with a shining smile, feeling warmth bubble up the moment she saw his face. Oh, he was so handsome and his wide smile gave her butterflies. Wobbly, she stood up, turning on the light and standing in the middel of the room and keeping the phone as far as she could, showing her dress with a not so steady hand. "What do you think?" she asked, playing with the hem right beneath her knee. "Can you imagine I barely bought dresses before I met you? I think I look hot." She chuckled, suddenly feeling more confident than she'd ever done.

Juice stared at the screen for a few seconds. "Damn, you're so beautiful!" He nodded enthusiastically, a big smile on his lips. He watched her, studied the dress she was showing him. It fit her perfectly. She looked cute in it... and pretty hot. For a moment he wondered what she was wearing under the dress, if the lingerie would fit to the dress. "It looks stunning, it really does. You should definitely buy more dresses," he winked, his eyes were still fixed on the screen. "I'm really jealous of the guy who saw you first in this dress." He licked his lips, his smile turning into a grin. "And yeah, you look pretty hot."

Grace laid down on her stomach on the bed again, placing her phone against a book atop of her pillow, so she didn't have to hold it. With her hand she supported her head while she looked at him. "Well, I think Jake was too busy studying the table top to be impressed by my dress. But maybe you'll get to see it too. And maybe... you can even take it off." She moved her eyebrows up and down.

His eyes grew wider at her words. "Well, I'd love to take it off, watching you in your underwear and kiss every exposed part of your body," he replied, his voice was a little darker now. Alone the thought made him hard.

His words made her hold her breathe. How she had missed that, hearing him talk like that, messing up her head. "Yeah, you would?" she said in a low voice, slowly lowering the left straps of her bra and dress until her shoulder was exposed. "I'd love to feel those lips," she whispered, "here..." her fingers glided across her collarbone, and danced across her shoulder, "and here..." She bit her lip, the dark look in his eyes making her glow to the core.

His eyes followed her fingers, how they slowly glided across her soft skin. "Show me more. Show me where you wanna feel my lips, Grace." There was a dominant tone in his voice, yet it sounded gentle.

She chuckled, his firm tone was funny. "Now why would I do that?" she asked playfully.

"Because you started to drive me crazy, you can't let me down now," he answered with a grin, it was just as playful as the tone of her voice.

"No? Would I be a bad girl if I'd let you down?" she pouted. "Isn't that what you secretly want me to be?" she asked, playing with the other strap of her dress.

"You would be a pretty bad girl. And right now I want you to be a good girl and continue." He had to pull down his jeans a little because it became pretty tight in there. 

"Okay," she whispered softly, dropping her eyes to create a shy impression. "I'll be a good girl." Slowly, she exposed her other shoulder to, running her fingers across her skin, up to her neck and down again until she reached her cleavage, she looked up to him, feeling an enormous tension in her lower regions. "What do you want me to do now?" she whispered, her throat feeling dry as she held his glance. "Tell me what you want me to do."

He shook his head, grinning. She really knew what to do to turn him on. "I can tell you later if you were a good girl," he winked. He wanted to feel her skin under his touch so badly, but this was also hot. His free hand wandered down, his member was pressing against his boxers. "Touch your breasts the way you want me to touch them. Knead them; slowly, gentle," he whispered back as he looked her in the eye. "Do that for me, baby."

Biting her lip, she shoved a little backward and sat on her knees, stripping of the straps of her dress and folding back the fabric until it was resting on her hips. Before doing what he told her, she slowly ran up her fingers, up from her stomach to her bra, around it, imagining his touch while she looked at his face. Slowly, she took off her bra. She took both of her breasts in her hands and kneaded them, her breathing speeding up. There was no hesitation, she fully trusted him and the way he looked at her called up deep, dark longings. Slowly, she squeezed her breasts, her nipples between thumb and forefinger, pushing them up and down in circular movements. "I wish you were behind me now," she whispered, "and that those hands were yours... while your lips traveled down my neck..." She tilted her head a little to show him where his lips would be and let out a little gasp.

Juice looked around briefly, got up and went to the small desk that stood in his room. He set the phone on the table so it leaned against the wall and sat down on the chair in front of it, so he could watch Grace perfectly as she touched herself and he had both hands free. Comfortably he leaned back after taking off his shirt, maybe Grace would feel a little better if he had less clothes on, too. Without really realizing it, he wrapped his hand around his hard member and he began to move it slowly up and down as Grace touched her breasts and nipples. "Just imagine that I'm the one kneeling behind you as I twirl your nipples between my fingers, as my hand slowly slides further down..." At his words he exerted some more pressure with his hand and gasped softly.

The background changed as Juice moved his phone to another place and sat down on a chair. First she was so wrapped up in touching herself, that it took a while before she saw that his hand had slipped into his boxer. "Hey knock it off," she chuckled. "You should start with your nipples too." She drank in the sight of his bare chest and his muscular tattooed arms, and she felt the heat spread through her veins while her right hand moved lower, until she was hindered by the dress around her waist.

"No way I'm gonna play with my nipples, they aren't as satisfying as yours," he chuckled and he stopped moving his hand for a moment. His tongue glided over his lips again as his mouth started to feel dry. "Take the dress off, Grace. I wanna see your perfect body, your curves," he told her while her hand moved lower. He felt his manhood twitch in his hand.

Grace started to laugh. "And what if it's a real turn on for me?" she asked, gathering the fabric of her dress and pulling it over her head, so that she was only wearing her panties. 

"Then you have to find something else that is a real turn on for you," he winked, smirking. 

Her hands slipped across her hips while she curved her back so that her breasts came more to the front. "This the curves you were looking for?"

He looked at her, stunned. Her curves were perfect, the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "Yes, those curves. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" he asked with a playful grin.

"Hmm, it's been a while," she hummed. "So, what's the most beautiful part of me?" she asked, sitting on her knees, slowly brushing her fingers across different parts of her body."

"Damn, don't make me choose," he muttered, thinking for a moment. "Your eyes and your smile. Then your breasts. They're just... perfect. Especially when you touch them." He smirked slightly.

Grace smiled at his answer, she didn't know if it was true but it was cute that he mentioned her eyes and smile first. "I like them more when you touch them," she said with a grin.

"I'll touch them again... soon. We just have to be patient, which is pretty hard," he nodded. "Go on, don't stop being a good girl, darlin'."

"Darlin'?" she raised her eyebrows. "Well that one is new." 

"I like it. Sounds... more mature," he laughed, shrugging. 

"It sounds like you're a grandpa" she chuckled. 

"Well, thanks for the compliment." He rolled his eyes playfully

She stuck out her tongue, then she slipped back into her innocent role, looking at him with wide expectant eyes. "Tell her how she can be a good girl."

The innocent look in her eyes almost gave him goosebumps. "As long as you do as I say you are one. And now I want your hand in your panties, do yourself something good." His voice was darker again.

As she heard his instructions, she blushed slightly. "I eh, I have never done that." Despite the alcohol, she felt a little nervous now, but she shoved her hand in her panties and stroked the soft hairs.

With a smile he looked at her, how her cheeks turned slightly red. "Hey, you can always stop if you don't like it, right? Just... give it a chance," he told her because he was sure she'd like it. And he'd definitely like it too. His eyes followed her hand, which disappeared in her panties. "How does that feel?"

With her fingertips she touched herself, trying to remember how he had done that. It however had been so overwhelming that it was hard to copy his acts. "Umm, when you did it there were like sparks everywhere,"she blushed. "I don't really know what I'm doing now." She had looked down, to her knuckles that were visible through her panties, but now she looked up to him, almost desperately until he told her what to do.

He could clearly see that she had no idea what she was doing, but he liked that. "Just do what I did, you remember what I did?" he asked her, leaning forward a little. "Let your fingers slide through your slit, when you're ready, push one or two of them inside you, slowly. You can also rub your clit, will give you a even better feeling." He smiled briefly, still looking at her hand in her panties.

Grace took a deep breath and nodded, following his instructions, putting her legs a little more apart. She stroked her clit, for some reason she didn't feel comfortable to look at him until it started to feel good. All this time he was silent, but when she looked to her phone again, he gave her a smile that intensified her feelings immediately. A soft moan left her lips as it started to throb below, and while looking at him she let one finger slip inside, her mouth half open. Without thinking about it, her other hand kneaded her breast.

Juice couldn't see much since she was still wearing her panties, but her moan showed him that she was enjoying it. "Yeah, that's it baby, keep doing this." Now he started to move his hand again, faster than before. His body relaxed immediately.

As she saw the movements of his arm, she realized that he was also playing with himself again. Heat arose inside her, even though she could only see the edge of his boxers; the rest was taken from sight. Softy she said: "I- I'd like to watch you." Nervously she bit her lip, it was still very intimate and a little strange through the phone.

Juice smirked. She still looked so innocent and nervous. "As you wish," he winked, leaning forward and placing the phone in a position so she could also see what he was doing. "You see everything ?" He just wanted to make sure before they'd continue.

"Yes..." she said in a shaky voice as she watched how he folded his hand around his member and started to move it. She remembered the time he had taught her how to do it. He had never came because he had lost control and Grace realized that this was a safer way to do things. The sight of his nakedness however also called up other memories, and she thought about the girl whose lips had been around it. Shaking off the thought, she focused on her own body again, spreading the wetness and stroking herself. She put on the volume louder so she could hear his gasps, that made her lower regions tense in a way screaming for more. Whatever he had done last time, now she was the one on his mind.

Juice moved his hand in a slow but intense rhythm, imagining it was Grace's hand. He always had enjoyed her touch and he longed for it. "Remember, I wanna see how much you enjoy it," he muttered, letting out another gasp. "What do you feel, Grace?"

"I uh, I think it feels nice," she muttered - every time she touched herself, it took a little longer before the feeling disappeared. "It's just... I find it hard to surrender. But... but watching you is... is making me wetter," she whispered. "It makes me... want to feel you inside me," she added as she noticed how her own words turned her on. Slowly, she let two fingers glide inside. Closing her eyes, she imagined his fingers, and his... thing. As her breathing sped up, she tilted back her head a little and squeezed her right nipple until she softly moaned.

He was surprised by her words; that she really wanted to feel him inside her. They almost helped him over the edge, but he didn't want to come yet, he wanted them to come together. "Yeah? Want me to fill you out? Thrusting inside you while you lay under me, moaning my name?" he asked in a whisper, his voice filled with lust. He started to move his hand faster, watching her. "Let me hear how much you like that baby."

Grace swallowed as she heard those words. She leaned back a little, pretending him inside her. Putting more pressure on her clit, she started to moan louder, moving her hips in a rhythm she couldn't control. Now and then she glanced at the phone. His face was tensed, she could see how he was trying to hold himself back until she was also ready. She tried to break all her walls, tried to surrender... and then the door slammed open. 

Shocked, she looked over her shoulder. Quickly her hand left her panties as she saw her mother, her eyes wide, her face disgusted. She was so shocked that she responded too late. Her mother grabbed the phone from her pillow and snapped: "Stay away from her, you pig!" Then she ended the call. 

Before Grace could say something, her mother slapped her in the face. "What's going on with you Grace?! Are you crazy? Why do you do these filthy things?!" Suddenly she started to cry. "Why do you do this to us?! You're going to end up in hell if you keep on this track!" 

Grace just stared at her. Her cheek burnt. "I - I love him," she muttered. 

Slap. This time her other cheek. "He poisoned your mind! He got you drunk, right? You never went out with Jake!" 

Grace bent her head. Tears were burning in her eyes. She didn't know what to say, so she turned away. "Just leave me alone!" she yelled. "I can't help it! I love him and you can't change anything about it!" 

"Oh I can," her mother said in a dark tone. "This isn't over. We'll continue this when you slept your drunkenness off." She slammed the door shut, taking the phone with her. She'd never get that back.

Grace curled up on her bed and started the cry. She didn't know what to feel, didn't know whether she should feel angry or guilty. She just wanted Juice near, she wanted him to hold her until the tears stopped coming.

* * *

Even after the call had ended, Juice stared at the screen in shock. He wanted to say something but her mom didn't even gave him a chance. Fear filled him; what would she do to her daughter? But what could he do? He couldn't just show up at their house and check if everything was okay. "Shit," he cursed, running a hand over his mohawk.

 

 


	59. Chapter 59

They danced, they talked and they laughed, but Jay was still counting down the hour and when he believed it was okay to leave, he leaned into Faye and whispered: "Let's go home."

"That's what I was waiting for," she winked, lacing their hands and dragging him to the entrance.

* * *

Happy and Kozik got off their bikes and walked towards the clubhouse. They were late, but they first had to drop their stuff at Happy's place and Kozik had been a little too enthusiast when they had chosen an all you can eat spareribs restaurant halfway their ride. He just neared the entrance when Faye walked out, holding hands with her boyfriend. Happy tensed at the sight of them, his breathing falling heavier. 

"Hey Faye!" Kozik called, hurrying towards the girl and squeezing her in his arms. "Damn, you look good girl." He smirked. "Ya already leavin'?"

Faye had just wanted to say something to Jay when she was pulled into a hug. Laughing, she looked at the man who hugged her and hugged back. "Wow, long time since you've been here!" she smirked, looking at him again. "Uh well, you look good too! And yeah, we were just about to leave." Her eyes found Happy, who stood behind Kozik now. It felt like she hadn't seen him in months and the weird feeling in her stomach was back immediately. Slowly, she took a step back and took Jay's hand again. "I hope you guys have fun!"

Kozik threw his arms around both Faye and her boyfriend. "Why the rush? Kid can keep it no longer in his pants?" He smirked at the boy. "Just use one of the rooms in the back for a quickie. Come on Faye, I missed you! I'm only here for the weekend." 

"Maybe I'm the one who can't wait," she chuckled, resting her arm around Kozik's waist. "Nah, I prefer his bed for it! But okay fine, we'll stay a little longer, can't just leave now." With an apologetic look she looked at Jay. She knew that he wasn't a fan of Happy, but Kozik was only here for a few days. 

Happy stood a few steps behind Kozik, feeling more awkward than he had ever done in his life. She should go, that'd be better for everyone, but there was no way he was going to join this conversation and when his brother started to talk about doing a quickie, his jaws tensed and he walked past them, just nodding at them.

Briefly, she looked at Happy's back. It pissed her off that he couldn't even say 'Hello'. "You brought a real party animal with you," she said sarcastically.

"He's having his period," Kozik shrugged, no longer surprised by Happy's grouchy behavior. "So, who's your new fling?" He looked curiously at the young man whose expression was rather confused. Contrary to her last boyfriend, he looked a bit rougher – more like a type he would have expected her to fall in love with. 

"I'm Jay," Jay said quickly before he would look shy or something. He kinda liked the guy, he seemed much brighter than most of his brothers. 

"Kozik." The man shook his hand. "So, where did you pick up this one?" he asked Faye with a smirk.

"I met him at the bar I'm working now. He helped me a lot to fit in and then we started dating. Guess I'm a lucky girl," she smirked. To be honest, she really was a lucky girl. "Why aren't you staying for a little longer, hmm? I think the others would be glad if you'd stay here." She always liked Kozik, he was one of the nicest guys she had ever met and was good company.

"We're staying for a couple a days, was a long ass drive man." He rubbed his ass, it still felt sore. "Gonna pick up a croweater to massage me after we caught up." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked back in. "I kinda miss Charming." It was five years ago since he had left, and he wouldn't mind to come back. No place was better than the original charter. "But you know what happened. Tig's not gonna vote me in."

She leaned into him as they walked inside but her hand was again laced with Jay's. "Oh come on, you two have to get over this. Maybe you can talk again. I'm sure Tiggy isn't even that mad anymore." She looked up at him, pouting.

Kozik raised his eyebrows. "Tig will always be mad. It's in his nature. No girl, I'm afraid I have to keep fighting the boredom in Tacoma unless things are really gettin' out of hand around here."

"Okay, you're kinda right. I really hope things won't get out of hand, but I still want you here!" She ordered three drinks at the bar. "So uhm... is there anything going on with Happy? Is his mom okay?" she asked quietly, not wanting to upset Jay because she talked about Happy.

Kozik sighed. "I have no idea. To be honest; he is off ever since he left this place. Any idea what happened?" he asked. He knew Happy would break his jaw if he knew he was snooping around to discover what the hell his problem was, but Faye was an observant girl. Maybe she'd noticed something. This wasn't a topic that he would start around any of his brothers.

* * *

Happy had congratulated his brother and talked with some others, realizing how much he missed this place. He was standing with his back towards Faye, trying to ignore her presence even though he could feel her all around him, and cursing the fact that Kozik had persuaded her to come back inside.

* * *

Faye swallowed, staring at Happy's back. He wouldn't hear them, the music was loud and he wasn't so close to them, but he'd be really pissed if she'd tell Kozik about them. "I, uh, no. I don't know what's going on with him. Maybe the Zobelle thing still pisses him off?" she shrugged, trying to stay calm so he would believe her. Faye knew she could trust Kozik, he wouldn't say anything but she couldn't gather the courage.

"Nah, the guy's gone, right?" Sure, maybe he rather would have seen him dead, but that was no reason to leave Charming. 

"Yeah, he is," she nodded briefly.

"You noticed no friction with his brothers?" he asked casually.

 Great, she should have thought about this before. "No, not at all. Otherwise he wouldn't be here today. Maybe he's just..." the girl shrugged. "I don't know, sorry."

Kozik's eye caught one of the prospects, making him wonder if that had anything to do with it. "That prospect that disappeared... did Hap like the kid?" He knew his friend didn't easily get attached to others, but in the rare case it did happen, he wasn't the best in letting people go.

Faye shook her head slightly, shrugging. "They weren't best friends, but I don't think they had a problem with each other. Miles left because he fucked a few things up, that's all." She really wondered where Miles had gone to, but he wasn't a danger anymore to them so she was fine with it. But talking about him made her even more nervous than she already was.

"He did?" Kozik asked surprised. "Thought that they had all been surprised by his disappearance. That something had scared him off or something." He frowned. If anyone was capable of scaring someone off, it was Happy. He however couldn't see why he would keep it a secret, so he dropped it.

"Uh... yeah. They all where surprised and... just forget it, I think I had too much drinks already." That was a total lie but she had no idea how to explain everything without telling him about everything else. "I wasn't much around the last few months."

"No of course you weren't. You were all over this guy, huh?" he winked at the brown haired man, who didn't seem to feel very comfortable around here. Their relationship was probably still in an early stage. "So, you work at a bar?" he asked the man, trying to get a conversation going since most of his brothers were just selfish assholes at parties.

When Kozik tried to start a conversation with Jay she took her chance. "I'll leave you two alone for a moment, I need a smoke." She pecked Jay's lips, walked over to Happy and tapped his shoulder, then she went outside. She was glad that Kozik wasn't like the other guys. Sure, she loved them, but Kozik was one of the few who genuinely showed interest in people he didn't know.

Happy considered to just ignore her, but he didn't know how much she had drank and she had a habit of becoming very dramatic when she was wronged and drunk. Slipping his hands in his pockets, he went outside, giving her a nod as she was clearly waiting for him.

The redhead frowned, studying the man. "A hello is still too much, huh?" she asked quietly. Sighing, she ran a hand through her straight red hair. "Didn't know you'd be here today. Kozik told me you stay for the weekend."

"Yeah. Needed to get to my house anyway. Got a guy who's gonna rent the place," he shrugged. "Was easy to combine it with the party."

"Oh, you're really serious about leaving, aren't you?" she asked with a sad smile. "How, uhm, how have you been? How is it in Tacoma?"

"I'm fine," he said shortly. "We shouldn't talk. Just go back to your sissy boyfriend."

"No, fuck that, Happy. We are old enough to lead a normal conversation, right? I know I should ignore you, but I don't want to, also I just want to know how you've been," she said firmly.

"We're not," he said. "Last time your lips ended up mine. Want that again?"

"Don't worry, I have myself under control, and I really like Jay, that's why it won't happen again," she shrugged. "But if you're afraid it could happen, you can go inside again."

"Ain't your self control I'm worried about," he said, since he couldn't even properly look at her without the longing to lift her up and bang her against the first wall he could find. "So yeah, I'll go in."

"You had your chance, you know that, you didn't want me. So don't punish me now by ignoring me because you hadn't the balls to take your chance," she muttered.

"There never was a chance," he grumbled, suddenly feeling fucking frustrated. "I don't wanna talk to you. Just go spoil your boy instead of wastin' your time on me. You did that long enough."

She looked at him, hurt. It annoyed her that his words still could hurt her so much. "You're an asshole. Just get the fuck out of my sight if you don't wanna talk to me."

"Yeah, my idea." Happy turned around and walked back to the clubhouse. He felt like shit, he hated himself at the moment, but there was nothing he could do about it. He had to keep her away until she no longer messed up his mind.

"And I really let Miles fuck me to protect you from losing your patch," she let out a bitter laugh and went back inside too. She put on a fake smile and put a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Can we go? I'm sorry you had to wait so long."

Before Jay could answer, Happy grabbed her upper arm and pulled her away. "What were you saying?" he hissed. What the hell had she been talking about?

Faye pulled her arm back and glared at him. "Don't touch me," she hissed back. "None of your business. You don't wanna talk. I tried to start a conversation with you, mostly because of what I just said!"

"You should have told me this a long time ago girl," he snapped, grabbing her arm again and pulling her away from the crowd. There was no way that he would let her go before he knew what had happened.

Jay tensed as Happy grabbed Faye's arm for the second time. He wanted to stand up and go after them, but Kozik pushed him back on the stool and shook his head. "Stay out of it. He won't hurt her." 

"All he does is hurting her," he hissed. 

Kozik raised his eyebrows. Was Faye the reason that he had left? Had he banged Clay's daughter? Happy couldn't have been that disrespectful, right? He couldn't imagine. And if he had, why didn't he just tell Clay about it? The man tore away his arm and wanted to go after them again, but Kozik grabbed his arm once more. "He's not gonna hurt her, but he is gonna hurt you. Badly. So if you don't wanna be the beaten down boyfriend, you wait here with me until those two are done talking." 

Jay clenched his jaws. He knew he was no match for Happy and he would only humiliate himself, but doing nothing felt wrong too.

* * *

Faye was embarrassed, completely. She really did feel like a five year old kid when he dragged her away from the crowd. Of course many people turned around, but no one said anything. "And then what? I couldn't just call and tell you what happened." She sighed deeply, wrapping her arms around her own body. "He said he'd tell Clay about you and me if I didn't give him what he wanted, so I gave him what he wanted. That's it, there's nothing more to say."

"You should have called the moment he threatened you," Happy sat, crossing his arms. "He never would have dared to tell Clay."

"It doesn't matter anymore, okay? He's gone anyway and I'm sure he won't come back."

"If he ever shows his ugly face again, he will certainly be gone," he grumbled.

"Stop. He didn't force me, I was the one who said yes. I could've said no. But I couldn't risk it." She leaned against the wall, looking down at the ground. "I hate this... that you don't even want to talk to me. You already moved to Tacoma."

Then he sighed. "We can talk later," he shrugged. "Not... now."

"Don't have time later. I have to spoil my boy, you forgot that ?"

"With later I mean later. After a few months. If I ever come back," he said.

"If you ever come back? This is bullshit, Hap. You liked it here, won't you miss the guys? You were here for years and now you want to throw everything away because of... us?" The sadness returned to her voice. She should've left, not him.

"I'll get over it. Just give me time. When I no longer feel the need to jump your bones the moment I see you, I'm gonna come back," he sighed, being more honest than he had ever been the past months.

"I didn't know it was so hard for you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm the reason you're in this situation now," she whispered, holding back her tears. "I should never have told you how I feel about you."

"Well, you did." He shrugged. "I don't blame you, you shouldn't do that either. It's on me. I'm the weird one."

She sat down next to him, her arms crossed. "What makes you think you're the weird one?"

Happy huffed. "You really need to ask that?"

"Yeah, I wanna know why you think you're weird." She looked at him questioningly.

"If you can't think of that you're indeed the weird one. I'm a killer. A torturer. Someone who only fucks whores ‒ and you."

"Maybe I am. See, everyone's here is actually a killer. There's no one in this club who didn't kill someone yet, except the prospects and Juice. Yeah, maybe you have a strange way to kill some people, but you're not a bad person. And you thought you aren't able to love someone in a romantic way your whole life, that explains the whores," she shrugged. "I'm weird, too. I dated guys even though I loved someone else. I was so fucked up after that accident that I didn't even wanna see my own nephew. I shoved my finger down my throat after I ate. Now, seems like we both have some problems, huh?" She didn't care at all what she had just told him, after this weekend he'd be gone anyway.

Happy didn't know what to answer. Maybe she was right. Maybe they were both fucked up. "Is he making you happy?" he asked after a while, staring forward.

Faye still looked at him. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" she asked quietly, nodding. "Y-yeah, he's a great guy. I'm happy with him."

"What am I doing to myself?" Happy grunted

"Asking if I'm happy. It will hurt you even more," she swallowed, folding her hands in her lap.

"It's not. You say you're happy. That's all I want," Happy answered stubbornly, not getting her point.

His words made sense, she wanted him to be happy, too. No matter what it would take. "Are you happy?" She took his chin between her fingers so he was forced to look at her.

Happy shrugged, pulling his face away from her hands. "I'm fine."

"Mh, guess there isn't much to say anymore then," she whispered. Faye gave up, he wouldn't talk to her. "Was great to see you." That's all she said before she stood up and disappeared inside.

Happy couldn't decide if that was sarcasm or not, but he didn't care much. He was glad the talk was over. Hopefully she would leave now and stay away the next few days. He walked back inside, with a nagging feeling now Kozik knew there was something off with Faye, and once more he wished his friend had stayed in Tacoma. Or maybe he should have done that himself...

Jay's face lightened up as Faye finally returned. She looked upset, but he felt a little relieved because it meant that she wasn't going to dump him for that other guy. "Hey, you okay?" he said, kissing her cheek.

Faye wrapped her arms around Jay's waist and buried her face against his shoulder. "Yeah, I'm fine," she muttered, pecking his lips. "I wanna go home. Can we, please?" she asked quietly.

"Sure baby." He noticed that she wasn't okay, but he didn't insist. If she wanted to talk, she would. He nodded to Kozik, who had been nice company and wrapped an arm around her. "Come on."

"Thank you," she whispered, turning to Kozik. "Was great to see you again." Faye hugged him tightly and let go again after a few seconds. After that she grabbed Jay's hand and left the clubhouse. "I'm sorry. I promised you I wouldn't talk to him again." Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair.

A little absent minded, he stroked her back. "What was it about?" he wanted to know.

"Something happened a few weeks ago, before you and I became something serious... not with him, but I told him about it because it had something to do with him too." She looked at the ground, feeling pretty guilty because she broke her promise.

There was a nasty feeling in his stomach because of the way she was avoiding the subject. "What happened?"

"There was a guy. He knew about Happy and me. And he knew exactly that my dad would've never allowed a relationship between us, so he tried to blackmail me," she shrugged. "But that's over, won't happen again, I just wanted Happy to know."

Jay looked at her with a slight frown, not entirely sure if she was honest, but in the end he shrugged. "Okay baby. Let's just forget about this night."

Faye smiled weakly, nodding. "Sounds good." The rest of the walk she stayed quiet, not sure what to say. When they were inside his house a while later she took off her shoes and leather jacket. "But hey, Kozik was the first guy who really started a conversation with you. I'm glad someone finally did!"

"Yeah, he's a really nice guy," he said as they walked to the living room, where he pulled her in his arms on the couch.

"Oh, sounds like you like him!" She smiled happily. The last weeks she had been really afraid that he'd never really like someone from the club. She snuggled up to him, pressing a soft kiss against his neck.

"Yeah..." His hands slipped underneath her shirt. "But I like you more."

"Better for you," she chuckled, letting out a satisfied sigh when she felt his hand underneath her shirt, touching her skin. Her lips wandered across his neck.

"For you, actually," he smirked, loosening her bra and grabbing both of her breasts, massaging in the way he knew she liked it.

Her nipples immediately reacted to his touch. "True." 

Jay took off her shirt watched her naked upper body like he was seeing it for the very first time. "You seem to become more beautiful with every day passing by," he said, scattering kisses across her chest.

His words took away her breath. Everything he said sounded so honest and sweet. "You know how to make me smile, don't you?" she whispered, smiling. The girl closed her eyes, moaning softly. Her hands slipped under his shirt, taking it off.

"That's my life goal," he grinned, his muscles tensing as her fingers caressed them.

"That's a great life goal." A soft laugh left her lips. 

"Yeah, thought so. And what's your life goal?" he asked, opting exactly that moment to suck her nipple.

She panted and buried her nails in his shoulders, arching her back as he sucked on her hard nipple. "To make you the happiest man. In every way."

"Well that was an easy answer," he said, shaking his head and leaving her breasts untouched. "Give me a better one."

She pouted. "Hey, that was actually a good one. Well, I haven't really thought about one, no reason not to touch me anymore, mister," she chuckled.

"Then I suggest you find one. Life goals are really important, baby." With a grin, his fingers floated above her skin, but he didn't touch her.

"I will, I promise," she smirked, running her fingertips over his arms, his muscles. A few seconds later she stood up and took off her black jeans, moving her hips in a seductive way.

Jay had wanted to wait for an answer before he went on with their make out session, but the moment she was almost naked, he lost himself. Quickly taking off his own jeans, he pulled her on his lap, his hands gliding across her back as he kissed her neck.

Faye shook her head, laughing softly. "Never saw you taking off your pants so fast," she teased. Her legs rested next to him, one left, the other on the right side. The redhead started to rub her middle against his, feeling the moisture spread.

Like always, Faye knew perfectly well what to do to make him go crazy. His hands slipped to her ass and he pulled her closer, so that her movements intensified the excitement that he was already feeling. "Hmm your skin always feels so smooth," he hummed as he kneaded her bottom and started kissing her neck.

At the beginning she had thought she could never get used to his, or anyone else's, touch because of Happy. But Jay was the first one who could get her excited too. That was a good sign. "And I love it when you touch it... when your hands are all over my body," she whispered against his ear, smiling. She titled her head to the side, closing her eyes. "That feels good..."

Jay felt his manhood press against her, but he rather left the initiative to her to go further. From her shoulder he trailed kisses to her lips while his left hand moved to her breast and played with her nipple. "You're the hottest girl I ever had, Faye," he said in a hoarse voice.

For a moment she let him touch her. She relaxed completely. But as he started to play with her nipples again she opened her eyes and left soft bite marks on his shoulder. "Am I?" she asked in a low voice and sat down next to him. "Take off the rest of your clothes... I'll do the rest." She smirked slightly.

Jay was only wearing socks and his boxers, so that was easy. "So, what rest is that?" he asked with a grin. 

"Well, I promised you a good ride," she winked and studied his body. He looked hot, almost perfect. The redhead stripped down her panties, sat down on his lap again and let his hard member glide trough her wet crevice, moaning softly.

Jay grabbed a hand full of her beautiful red hair and gently pulled back her head so he could bite her neck as her hips moved against his. His free hand playfully slapped her ass and he moaned in approval as he managed to get himself inside her. Even without a lot of foreplay she was wet enough, which turned him on even more.

"God, you really know what you're doing," she breathed out, gasping when she felt him inside her. The girl started to move her body up and down, let his manhood slide deep inside her again and again. Her fingernails glided down his chest, leaving slightly red marks.

"Of course I do," he panted, moving his hips in the same rhythm as hers. It didn't take long before he wanted deeper inside her, so he flipped her on her back and filled her out completely. "You like it this way, huh?"

Her breathing became heavier, faster, and her moans became louder. "Yes, so much," she whispered, nodding eagerly. "Harder... please," she almost begged and looked him in the eye. She could feel her wetness everywhere down there.

He sped up his pace, no longer holding himself back, knowing that she liked it a bit rough. If she wanted him to slow down she would let him know anyway. It however didn't take long before he lost it, clinging to her body and moaning her name, a little embarrassed because he had come so fast.

Most times when they had rough sex, she thought of Happy. But it got better and better. Now, she didn't think about the man at all, she only focused on Jay, his face, his movements. Maybe, but only maybe, she could forget about the man she loved one day. 

It didn't took long before her orgasm rolled over her, too. With her nails she left some more slightly red marks on his back, breathing out his name before she pressed her lips on his once more.

Jay wrapped his arms around her after they had both released and kissed the corner of her mouth. "I think I'm starting to fall in love with you, Faye," he whispered. They were exclusive, but since there was still another guy on her mind he sometimes had a hard time putting their relationship in the right place, but right now he knew that he wanted this to last.

The redhead closed her eyes and snuggled up to him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. For a moment she stared at him. She hadn't expected to hear those words, but just a few seconds later a smile formed on her lips. "To be honest... I think I'm starting to fall for you too. And believe me, that never happend before," she whispered. 

That was the truth, she had never fallen for anyone but Happy before. Adrian was a really cute and nice guy, but not the right one. And there hadn't been many other guys.

Those words meant a lot to him and he loved that she was always so honest. "So uhm, I thought maybe it's time to meet my family? If you want?"

She raised an eyebrow, surprised. "Really? You want me to meet your family? I, uhm, sure, can't wait to meet them." She nodded eagerly. That was kind of a big step, but she loved the thought to meet his family.

"Awesome! They live a little away from her, a three hours drive so maybe we can book a hotel or something," he suggested.

"How about we stay there for a whole weekend ? I think a little trip outside of Charming would be great," she suggested, pecking his lips. "Thank you, Jay, for everything," she muttered.

"Sounds good," he smirked, raking a hand through her hair. "There's really no reason to thank me."

"Oh, there is. You helped me a lot. You stood by my side even after I told you I had feelings for someone else. You showed me how a relationship should feel. I have to thank you a lot." 

"I think there are a lot of people who have feelings for exes or something, it's just refreshing that you're so open about it," he said with a wink.

"Tell me, do you have a ex girlfriend you still have feelings for? Please say yes, otherwise I feel pretty bad," she chuckled, hoping there wasn't really an ex he still liked.

"Okay, yes," he laughed. "Secretly I dream about her every night." He gave her a playful kiss. "But she never kisses better than you do."

"Hey, that's not cool," she laughed softly, running a hand through his dark hair. "Well, then I can live with it. But you better start dreaming about me."

"Hmm, but what should I dream about? You give me already everything I want."

"Don't know. Maybe you have some fantasies or something," she winked.

"Hmm. I'm not very fanciful. Sounds like you have some fantasies, tho," he grinned.

"I don't have any fantasies. I'm an innocent girl" She rolled her eyes in amusement and sat up a little. "You think your family will like me?"

"What there's not to like about you?" Jay asked with raised eyebrows.

"Uh, I don't know. Are they like you ? Relaxed, nice... or the opposite? Should I bring something? Do they like wine?" she asked nervously. She really wanted them to like her.

"Nah, they're relaxed. My father is a real wine connoisseur, they''ll surely appreciate a good bottle," he grinned.

"Then I see what I can find, I'm not really a wine expert," she smirked. But hopefully her mom could help her with that. "I'm really excited. Do you actually have siblings? God, I don't even know that!"

"I actually have a twin brother," he said with a smirk. "And an older brother."

"Are you kidding ? I swear, don't joke around with me when you two are together," she winked. "That's pretty cool. But you parents won't ask questions about grand children, right?" she asked quietly.

"Oh no, don't worry. I've never heard them talk about that, to be honest, and my older brother has a girlfriend for a long time." He squeezed her hand.

"Okay, it's still new for me and I have no idea what I should answer," she said honestly and gave him a weak smile.

"Just tell them it's too early for that," he shrugged. "But they won't bring it up anytime soon, I'm sure of it." 

"I think I already like them! And it's really not a problem for you? That we can never have a family?"

He looked pensively at her. "Well, I like kids and I honestly hope that you will be ready to adopt one one day, but if that's too hard for you, I understand. It isn't like it's my biggest dream or something."

 Again she raised an eyebrow, surprised that he would adopt a child. "No, I think this would be a good solution. I love kids, I always wanted one or two, and you can give a child without parents a family."

"Exactly." He stroked her cheek, the thought to have a family with her made his heart swell. "Then we'll find a few cute kids once we're ready for that." He gave her a light kiss.

She laughed softly, wrapping her arms around his neck. "A few kids? Then we need a bigger house. But yeah, I could get used to that thought," she smiled, giving him another kiss.


	60. Chapter 60

"You love her?" 

Startled, Happy turned his head to the side. Kozik's question was so random that it was too late to respond nonchalantly. "The hell are you talkin'?" 

"She's the reason you left, hmm?" 

"It's none of your damn business why I left," he answered grimly, dragging from his cigarette and staring into the distance. It was good that she was gone, even though there was still this nasty feeling in his stomach. 

"If you leave because of a girl it has to be really bad," Kozik mused. Although he knew he was entering dangerous waters, he couldn't keep his mouth shut. "You fucked her?" 

Happy didn't answer, and just ignored him. 

However, his friend knew him well enough to fill in the blanks himself. "Does Clay know?" 

Happy glared at him. "Of course not." 

"Then why leave? Or wasn't it a one time thing?" 

Happy sighed, right now he just wanted Kozik to fuck off and the easiest way would be to answer his questions. "She's in love with me. Told me she loved me and shit like that. Told her I wasn't, but somehow she's gotten under my skin." 

Kozik chuckled. "Never thought that would happen. So why don't you man up and tell Clay?" 

"Because there's no point in tellin' him. He's not gonna accept it. Not ever." 

"You can keep her safe, you know her way of life... I think he can handle it." 

"I killed her mom. On Clay's orders. And obviously she can't know that." 

Kozik was silent for a while. "Aah. Yeah, that sucks." He watched Happy's face for some time and saw that it was really bothering him. "You're sure you can't keep it from her?" 

"The guilt would eat me alive," he muttered. "It already does." 

"I'm sure she deserved it," Kozik shrugged. "Clay wouldn't have ordered that if there was another way. She was probably a rat. You did what you had to do." 

"I know. Doesn't help. Clay's not gonna take the risk and neither am I." 

Kozik sighed, not knowing how to help except going back inside and getting the both of them something strong.

* * *

It was the stupidest thing Juice could do, but he wouldn't sleep tonight without knowing if Grace was okay. The man was too drunk to get on his bike, so he decided to walk, so it took a while before he reached the girl's house. His heart was pounding heavy. He looked around, there was still light in the kitchen. There needed to be another way to get inside. A little tipsy he walked around the house and looked at the fire stairs. "Could work," he muttered to himself and he climbed the stairs, knocking against the window. Hopefully no one but Grace would hear it. He could see her already on her bed, not sure if she was still awake. But she probably was.

After crying for a long time, Grace was dozing off. Just when she was about to fall asleep, she heard a knock on the window. Sitting up straight, she looked forward. That had to be Faye. Juice had probably told her what had happened and wanted to make sure that she was okay. She stood up and walked to the window, her eyes widening as she found Juice behind it. Stunned, she let him in.

He climbed awkwardly through the open window and looked at Grace, there was a sad smile on his lips. "I'm sorry. I-I couldn't sit in my room... not knowing if you're okay. I know you wanted to wait another two weeks but I was worried. I saw your mom's face and she clearly wasn't happy. I, uhm, I was even afraid she would do something to you. I know I shouldn't think about her like that," he rambled.

Only now he was standing in front of her, she realized that he wasn't sober at all either. She could smell the alcohol, heard it in his voice and he couldn't even stand straight. "I'm fine," she muttered. "She's my mom, Juice. She's strict but she won't hurt me." Her hand however touched the cheek her mother had slapped, but it didn't hurt anymore.

He took a deep breath, sitting down on her bed. Gently, he pulled her next to him, holding her hand ‒ that was all he did. "I cause you so many problems. You... you had to go through so much because of me already." His mood changed quickly, now he was sad, mad at himself.

Grace sighed and stared at the ceiling. "It's my own fault. I drank too much. I wouldn't have done this without alcohol." She closed her eyes, a tear rolled down her cheek. "She's never going to accept you, Juice. She hates you."

Now he felt even worse. It really was only the alcohol and he had used that. Staring at the floor, he swallowed. "I should've known you wouldn't do that but I still went further. Like always." 

"You were drunk too. I can't blame you for not thinking straight when I'm not thinking straight either." She let out a cynical laugh. "I didn't even notice until you got here."

"True, but I still feel bad." With a frown he looked at her and put an arm around her shoulder. "Grace, do we really have to wait? I want you back, so bad. I'll do everything you want as long as you feel good."

Sighing, she rested her head on his shoulder, her arm across his stomach. She was so glad she could hold him again that she was loss for words. "You're really asking me this now? My mom's not gonna leave me out of the house any time soon anyway."

He ran his fingertips over her arm, up and down. "Yeah, I ask you that now. I know we won't have it easy, not even a bit, but I miss you so much. And your mom ‒ she can't keep you in here forever."

"No, not forever," she muttered. "I'm going to talk to her tomorrow, when I'm sober. Who knows what will happen." She sighed. "But these two weeks, I think I need it. Especially now my mom is freaked out."

Sighing, he nodded. If she wanted that, he would respect it. "Okay, if you need them. But could we maybe talk two times a week? Would that be okay? And what do you think your mom is going to do?"

"I think I won't get my phone back the next month," she sighed. "So that might be a bit hard."

"You think Faye is allowed to come over sometimes? Maybe you could use her phone then. If that's okay for you," he suggested, looking at her questioningly.

"Yeah, that might work," she agreed.

"Good, then let's try that. How have you been the last two weeks?"

Grace chuckled softly. "Think we should have asked that question before we took off our clothes. I was okay. There are still times that I'm really angry or sad, but it's getting better. The fact that I miss you is becoming stronger than those feelings, so that's a good thing I guess."

"I can't blame you for that. I was afraid you'd never talk to me again, that you would be happier without me. But I'm glad you missed me too, that I'm not the only one," he admitted.

Grace swallowed a sigh and stared at the ceiling. Her thoughts drifted now back to his mistake and she felt the cold creep back into her body.

Juice rested his elbows on his legs and buried his face in his hands. He gave Grace a moment and stayed silent. "What's going on in your mind?" he asked quietly.

The last thing Grace wanted, was bringing up the girl again, so she kept the memories to herself. It took a while before she answered, knowing it wasn't wise but she just wanted him near. "Can you stay with me tonight?" she asked quietly. "Just until the sun comes up?"

Juice looked up, surprised. A weak smile formed on his lips. "Yeah, of course," he answered immediately. That's what he wanted, what he needed. "You, uh, you really want me to stay? You sure?"

Grace didn't know if she was sure. Right now she wanted him close, but she had no idea how she would feel after a few hours, when all the alcohol had left her blood. She however knew she would only keep staring at the ceiling if he left now and right now she just wanted to sleep. "I guess," she muttered, briefly overlooking the small single bed. "Although it will be quite narrow and maybe not very comfortable," she hesitated.

He looked back at the bed, shrugging. "That's okay. I can hold you in my arms... or I can sleep on the floor," he muttered. Well, he wouldn't mind sleeping on the floor as long as she was around.

She chuckled. "I can't ask you to sleep on the floor." She lifted the blanket and crawled underneath it, with her back against the wall to give him space. There was a nervous tickle in her stomach since she'd never slept next to a man before and she knew hell would break loose if her mom would enter her room now, but as long as they were quiet there would be no need for her to come looking.

Juice kicked off his shoes and took off his cut before he laid down next to her, not sure if she really wanted him close or more at the edge of the bed.

"I don't even have two pillows," she muttered, shoving her pillow a bit to the middle so they could both use the edges of it.

"I don't care. As long as you're next to me," he smiled briefly. 

Before she closed her eyes, she set her alarm clock and turned off the light on her nightstand. "Goodnight," she whispered, looking up to his face which she could barely see in the dark.

Juice put an arm around her waist, hoping it wouldn't be too much for her. "Night. Sleep well," he whispered back, looking at her. There was no chance to see much, but he could feel her. Slowly, he closed his eyes. Hopefully he'd wake up before her mother would come in in the morning.

* * *

It was strange to share a bed with someone else and Grace woke up a lot. Every time only an hour had passed, which gave her a relieved feeling and she snuggled up closer and closer to him. He was softly snoring and his arm felt heavy around her waist, but she was really glad that he was around and sighed softly as her phone started to buzz around 5 AM. She watched his sleeping face for a while, until she gently shook his shoulder. She had a headache and there was a cramping feeling in her stomach as she finally fully realized what she had done, and she felt so ashamed that she looked away when Juice opened his eyes.

A little confused he sat up. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked quietly.

Grace sat up straight, pulled up her knees and pressed her face against them. "What do you think is wrong," she muttered. "You don't remember what happened last night?"

Juice sighed and leaned back against the headboard. "Of course I remember. We were both drunk, Grace. Things like that happen. There's no reason to be ashamed. It wasn't the first time we saw each other naked."

"Well it was the first time that my  _mother_ walked in my room and caught the both of us naked," she muttered against her knees. "How can I  _not_ feel ashamed."

"Okay, that's true, that was embarrassing," he muttered. "She saw me naked... God, she'll hate me forever and I can't even blame her. But it pissed me off that she yelled at you like that. I was really worried."

"Well the worst has yet to come," Grace muttered. She couldn't blame her mother either, if she had caught her own daughter like this she would have freaked out too.

"Did you ever think about moving out? For real, you're twenty and your mom treats you like a twelve year old." He brushed some strands of her hair behind her ear. "I know, you don't get much money, but you can't let her have so much power over you."

"I never considered to go look for my own place. I just imagined to live with them until I met my husband." Would she want to live alone? Sure, things were tensed at home now, but she was afraid that she would feel lonely all by herself. "And I don't have the money, like you say. I'm saving the most for my ticket to Africa now. To be honest I never had problems with my parents before I met you."

"Oh great..." he sighed. "But the first time in your life you experienced something else, something normal. Do you regret it? Be honest." He looked away, afraid of her answer. 

Grace thought about his words for a while. She noticed that he didn't dare to look at her, which made her want to stir around the truth, but he had asked her to be honest. "There are certain things I regret," she admitted. "I wished that we had built up things more slowly, then the bet never would have mattered much, you wouldn't have been drunk and maybe you wouldn't even have been so frustrated that you wanted to cheat on me. I think it would have saved us a lot of trouble, if I had been stronger those first times we made out."

He listened to her, still looking at the blanket. "You were there at the party, the first time. They would've made that bet anyway, with or without me. We already took things slow, Grace. Sure, maybe we should've build a friendship first... but I couldn't get you out of my mind. And to be honest, I'm glad about it. I don't regret anything, I love you, no matter how hard it is to have a relationship. I think we'll always have problems." 

Grace knew they both had a whole different definition of 'taking things slow' and she decided not to discuss that subject again. It didn't matter anyway, they had already gone far. His last words however were the ones that stung. "Well, that sounds promising," she muttered. "That we will always have problems."

Juice stood up and put on his shoes. It was morning, her mom would probably check on her daughter soon. "Well, you want me to lie? As long as your mom is against us, we never can be truly happy. And you know that too," he said firmly, turning around to look at her. "But that doesn't mean I give up on you."

"So that means you think you'll never be happy with me?" she asked quietly, for she knew her mother would never support them. She sat up straight and wrapped her arms around her knees. She dropped her eyes. "I know it affects the relationship with my mom, but I hadn't expected that there will always be problems between the two of us because of it."

"I am happy with you, but I hate all those problems. I have to sneak in and out of your room, while I'm twenty-eight." Sighing, he sat down next to her again and put an arm around her shoulder. "I'm just afraid it all becomes too much for us."

Grace huffed. Really,  _that_ was the problem that bothered him? "If I can get over you letting another girl suck you, I can get over this too. I will tell her how I feel about you, it's just hard to explain to her that I love a man who just cheated on me but who I want back nevertheless."

"Come on, she already hated me before she even saw me for the first time, it's not just the cheating thing." 

"Well it certainly didn't make her feel better about you," she answered bitterly. 

"I can't blame her now. But I did nothing to her before." 

"What do you mean, you did nothing before? You showed up at her door drunk and said lots of stupid things.  _That_ was the moment she met you," she said a little annoyed.

"And? I apologized, even your dad gave me another chance. I'm sorry that she lived like a nun and never did anything stupid in her life, but some people do stupid things." Now he was annoyed, too. She protected her mother every time. 

"Well your apologies aren't some magical spell that makes everything better," she spit out before she knew it. Tears gathered in her eyes and upset she squeezed her eyes. Seeing him was too soon, she realized now, she hadn't forgiven him yet. She was still too hurt by what he had done. The alcohol might have draped a veil across her pain, but now he was in the same room and annoyed, she still felt powerless and broken.

Juice let out a bitter laugh and let go of her. "I know that, okay? But again it seems like I'm the biggest asshole around. Just... call me when you're ready to forgive me." 

Only a few hours ago they had talked and laughed and now they were in another fight. But he was sick of getting treated like that, so it was better to stay away and wait. Without another word he climbed out of the window and used the fire stairs to get down. 

"Call me when you're ready to forgive me," she repeated embittered, shaking her head. "Well maybe I'll never get there." She sat down on the bed again and wiped her eyes. Great. He really was an asshole, leaving her like this, still giving her the feeling that she was overreacting on his disloyalty.


	61. Chapter 61

To Grace's surprise, her mother ignored her for the biggest part of the day. However, when the stair cracked just after her father had left to do a hospital visit, she knew her mom had waited for that moment. She had been sitting at her desk when the door opened, studying her Portuguese even though she lacked the concentration for it. Sighing, she turned around. Disappointment dripped from her mother's face and Grace couldn't look her in the eye, she felt too ashamed. 

"Have you done horrible things like last night before?" she asked in a stern voice. 

"No," she muttered. "It was my fault. I had drank too much and then I called him because I missed him. I told him about the date and I wanted to show him my dress, and well, one thing led to the other..." she muttered. 

"It was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," she said firmly. 

Grace cringed, she didn't know what to say. 

"Do you still use the belt?" 

"Barely," she muttered. "Things were going better, I thought I wouldn't need it." 

"Well, as it seems you do, as long as you don't banish that man from your life." 

"I'm not going to banish him mom," she said softly. "I need time apart, but I'm trying to forgive him. I love him." 

"If you really loved him, there would be no difficulty in forgiving him. Let go of these illusions, Grace. You don't love him." 

"I haven't forgiven you for how you treated him either," she shot back. "Does that mean that I don't love you? The more we love someone, the more it hurts, the harder it is to forgive." 

Her mother sighed deeply. "I did nothing but warn you for his true nature. And I was right, he was unfaithful, right? You should have listened to me." 

Grace sighed, she had a headache and she really didn't want to talk about this. 

"Do you even feel sorry about what you did last night?" her mother asked in a dark tone. "Do you even feel ashamed?" 

"I feel ashamed because you saw us," she answered. "I drank too much and I wouldn't have done it if I was sober, but that doesn't matter because I wasn't. It happened, we can't change that." 

"You know that guy is making you sin! Why can't you let him go, Grace? What's wrong with the church boys?" 

"Like Adrian?" she said, rolling her eyes. 

"Exactly! He would be the perfect match, he..." 

"He isn't a virgin either, mom. He's not perfect – nobody is!" 

Her mother stared at her with wide eyes. 

"Yeah, you heard that well. He also slept with his former girlfriend, he did all the things you are so disgusted by. It's normal! I really want to stay a virgin until the day I marry but doing nothing isn't healthy either. Juice and I are trying to find our way around this, okay? And if this is our way..." She shrugged. 

"These are still sins, Grace!" her mother yelled. "Do you want to go to hell? You shoved God to the side, only to get your pleasure! You refuse to accept his guidance and now the darkness inside you is growing." Tears dripped down her cheeks. "Can't you see that I want the best for you? I don't want to lose you to the darkness! But you have to fight, Grace, you have to fight that darkness, those sick longings! You're unhappy and you think it's because of that man, but it's because your sins are blocking God's love!" 

Grace was silent for a while. Was she right? God did feel far away, the past weeks. She was still reading the Bible, she prayed every day... but sometimes she doubted that He was still listening to her. 

Her mother knelt down in front of her and took her hand. "I know this is a tough fight, Grace. I know your feelings are new and Satan uses them to drift you away from God. Don't give him that chance. Keep God's love close, accept his guidance. Only he can make you a better person. And if that biker really fits into His plan, He will also show you how to make a relationship with him work." 

With hopeful eyes, she looked at her mother. Did she hear that right? Did she believe there was a chance that Juice and she belonged together? "I... I don't know how to get closer to Him," she whispered. "I tried but..." She shrugged, sighing. 

"Your sins are blocking contact. You have to confess them, you have to regret them. For real. You did it before, right? You said you were doing better when you used the belt. Then that's the answer. Find God back, only then you can restore your relationship with that man." She stood up and patted her knee, a sad look in her eyes. 

Grace was silent. Tears were itching in her eyes. "I... Can you stay? Decide if I... do it hard enough? I'm scared that I'm too weak." 

Her mother caressed her cheek. "Of course. I am here for you. Or do you want me to do it?" 

Grace dropped her eyes. Someone else punishing her... would that be easier? At least she would know that she was trying it hard enough. "Okay," she whispered, taking off her shirt and kneeling on the ground.

* * *

Faye laid her feet comfortably on the coffee table in front of the sofa and sat back. Her eyes wandered to Juice, who sat next to her like a wet sack and played with the lighter in his hand. "You wanna tell me what's going on? I have a guess, it's because of Grace, right? What happened this time?" she asked, frowning while she was wrapping a strand of hair around her finger. 

Juice shrugged slightly, staring into the flame of the lighter. "We wanted to keep our distance, four weeks. But she called me, she was drunk, I was drunk and one thing led to the other. Her mom caught us when we had, well, phone sex." 

Faye had to grin for a moment when she saw how red her best friend's cheeks turned. "Let me guess, she freaked out? Man, Juice, you should have expected her mom to catch you. But was that all?" she asked curiously. 

"No, I went to her house and wanted to see if everything was okay, then we talked and I stayed the night. I thought we were getting closer again, but in the morning we had the next fight." He paused for a moment, sighed deeply and put the lighter on the table. "And I was the asshole again. Man, I know I made a mistake, but I tried to do my best. Nevertheless, I still seem to do everything wrong." 

The redhead lifted an eyebrow and looked at Juice extensively. Sighing, she pulled him over and wrapped her arms around him. "You are not an asshole. Grace just needs a little more time, and the situation with her mom is certainly not easy. I know it's annoying and it makes you angry. I would react in exactly the same way as you. But maybe you should really keep your distance," she advised, putting a hand on his neck. With an encouraging smile, she looked at him, but that didn't help much. 

"I just want to do it all right so we can have a fresh start. How am I supposed to prove to her that I'm serious if we don't even talk to each other?" The desperate look in his eyes made Faye crazy, she hated to see him like that. Juice was really a good guy, every person made mistakes, no one was perfect. 

"But you can't do much right now. Maybe she'll call you when she's ready, by then you'll have to be patient, even if it's hard. But if you want, we can do more things together again, then I can distract you a bit." With a now gentle smile, she stroked his cheek. Jay would surely understand, and she missed spending time with Juice. 

"Yeah, maybe you're right. We could really see each other more often. But what about you? That with you and Jay seems to be something serious. What about Happy?" He looked questioningly at her and Faye realized that he just didn't want to talk about Grace anymore, probably it would only make his mood worse. 

"Mh, I really like Jay... and I think I fell in love with him. Of course, my feelings for Happy aren't gone, but it's been easier since he's in Tacoma. The two of us would never have worked, I was just too blind to realize. With Jay, on the other hand, I can have a real future," she told Juice, sighing and leaning against him as he put an arm around her shoulder.

"You think that works? We both know how much you wanted Happy. But if you're really happy with Jay, I'm happy for you," he said honestly, pulling her a little closer.

* * *

More than a week had passed since she had seen Juice. She hadn't heard from him again. Even though she wanted space it bothered her; she still had the feeling that he believed that she was overreacting and that she just had to get over with it. The past days had been hard – and painful above all. The welts on her back however purified her thoughts and she had a feeling that God was closer than before. Her mother's tactics really seemed to work. 

Right now she was at Leonie's home, her friend had asked her to come. They saw each other a lot those days – their bond seemed to be stronger than with Faye. It was just hard to maintain a friendship when she was angry with her best friend. 

"How are you?" Grace asked Leonie. 

Even though she was usually a bright spirit, she heaved a sigh now. "I have to tell you something and I find it really hard."

Her heart sank. She squeezed her fingers to fists. "Is it – is it about Juice?"

Leonie nodded silently, without looking her in the eye. "I'm really sorry. I kept an eye on him, like you asked me. He avoided almost all the parties and he behaved really well, no matter how many girls tried to get his attention. But yesterday..." She bit her lip and took Grace's hand. "Yesterday he was drunk and I lost sight of him. I wasn't very worried, I thought that he was just tired. But this morning my friend came to tell me that she had slept with him. At first I didn't believe her – she's the type of girl that always has these tall tales, but they... they made a porn and well... there really wasn't a way around it. I'm sorry, I really am Grace. I know that you were starting to have faith in him again."

Grace had no idea what to say. She just stared numbly forward. "Can't she... can't she be mistaking? If she was drunk too?"

"I wish she could baby." She picked up her purse and took some printed pictures out of it. "I hoped you wouldn't need him, but maybe you do."

With shaking hands she folded the papers open. A sob escaped her lips as she saw a picture of a girl who was riding him. His face was clearly visible – there was no doubt about it and he was definitely enjoying himself. 

The paper dropped out of her hands as she started to cry. Her stomach cramped and she bent over. Ever since he had slept in her bed, she had no longer feared that he would sleep with others. Somehow her trust had been restored, it was just the pain with which she still had to deal . But this... this changed everything. This was the definite end and she wondered if he ever would have told her. 

"I'm sorry Grace, I really am." Leonie wrapped her arms around her. "I'm so sorry, but I wanted to be honest. You deserve so much better than him. I don't want you to give him another chance to break your heart. This is how he is. I really believe he tried, but like all men he can't fight his weak moments."

Grace didn't answer. All she could do, was cry.


	62. Chapter 62

It had been two months since Happy had transferred to Tacoma and Kozik felt that his friend missed Charming. He had tried to talk about it, but often it was easier to talk with a tree than with Happy, so he had given up and decided to call for some help from someone else. Although Happy could handle a lot of shit, things were harder for him now his mom was getting sicker and he traveled a lot back and forth. Going to Charming would be so much better, but he didn't want to go back because he had promised Faye to stay away. In two months a lot could have happened, so Kozik decided to give the girl a call to hear if she wanted to come over. When he was in Charming he had always considered her as a friend, especially when she had been befriended with his ex, but as time passed by they had lost sight of each other and even without Happy, he would love to have her around for a few days.

* * *

The past two months had been great. Jay and her relationship became pretty serious, they were officially a couple, everyone knew about them. She had also met his family and they had spent a great weekend with them. It became easier for her to live without Happy since she could push her feelings aside. Also the friendship with Juice had became much stronger again, they spent a lot of time together. Still, it didn't help him to get over his broken heart. And then there was Grace, she was so mad at her since the girl ignored her, but she also missed her so bad. She was just about to leave the house when she heard her phone ringing. Quickly, she accepted the call as she saw Kozik's name on the screen. "Hey! How are you?" she asked, smiling. It was always nice to talk to him, but she wondered why he called.

"Hey girl. I'm good... but I miss ya. Thought maybe you can come over for a couple of days?" He lifted the corner of his mouth. "I have a feeling you never leave Cali at all."

"I miss you, too, and I'd love to come over but... I don't think it's a good idea," she muttered, running a hand through her hair. "Why don't you come to Charming? Cali is beautiful!"

"Because I can never get a break there, your dad is like a slave driver," he joked. "Come on, I'll find some cool parties to go to, just like ol' times. Or are you totally whipped by that boyfriend of yours?"

Sighing, she sat down on the bench before the house. She had no idea how to say no, it was almost impossible to say no to Kozik. "No, my boyfriend isn't the problem. Fine, if you promise me we won't stay at the clubhouse twenty-four hours I'll come over."

"Awesome! No just one clubhouse party because you're the president's daughter, and I'll get you to some other clubs. Gonna be fun girl. Maybe I will feel young again," he laughed.

"Well, I guess I can't say no to that. I'm sure we'll have some fun," she laughed softly. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, as long as she wouldn't see Happy. "Hey uhm, can I bring a friend?" She had no idea why, but she thought about taking Grace with her.

"What, you think you'd be bored with me?" he teased.

"No, I won't be bored with you, don't worry about that," she smirked. "She's a nice girl."

"Oh nice girls are always welcome," he said. "Especially when she's hot. Is she?"

"She is, but she's Juice ex girlfriend. So, she's a taboo for any of you," she informed him. "Okay, when can we come by?"

"Too bad," he grinned, trying to remember an ex from Juice but failing. "You two can get over for the weekend? I don't expect any clubshit."

She rolled her eyes in amusement. "Yeah, the weekend sounds great. I'll text you when I know exactly when we will be there, okay?"

"Sure. Awesome. See you then!" Kozik ended the call and smirked satisfied. Hap was probably going to kill him, but hopefully it would be worth it.

After he hung up she felt the urge to slap herself. How could she be so stupid and say yes? Of course Happy would be there. Everything was getting better and now? Sighing, she texted Grace.  _'Hey, I don't know why you're ignoring me, but I really miss you. A friend asked me to come to Tacoma and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me. I'd love to spend a weekend with you.'_

* * *

Grace was starting to feel a little better. The first two weeks she hadn't been able to eat or sleep at all, but slowly she was accepting that Juice never had been the right man for her. She kept herself busy with working and studying and a new world had opened for her when Leonie had shared a Netflix-account with her, which was a great way to distract herself. At home things were going better as well. She had told her mother that she had had broken up with Juice again – and this time for real, where after her mother had given her her phone back. She hadn't heard a single word from Juice, so she assumed that he didn't miss her that much after their last fight. Apparently he felt too ashamed to tell her what he had done and did he believe that her silence was an easy way out. She was glad about it – she never wanted to see him again. The only thing that was bothering her, was that she was keeping Faye at bay. She however found it too painful to see her friend, knowing that she was Juice's best friend and she couldn't bear the thought of hearing his name. Maybe she already knew that Juice had cheated on her again, he always told her everything, but there was also a chance that he felt too ashamed of his action – he had been drunk after all – and she didn't want to ruin their friendship, even though she had started to hate him. But Faye needed her best friend, and Grace would never want to be in the way of that. She was dragged out of her thoughts by a text and sighed as she read the message. Great. What should she answer? She missed her friend, she shouldn't suffer because of something that Juice had done but she found it still hard.  _'Maybe. I miss you too, just find it really hard that you're friends with him,'_ she texted back eventually.

Faye read the message, pressing her lips together.  _'I know, but he won't be there and I won't talk about him, I promise. He's my best friend, but you're my friend too, Grace. Well, at least I hope that we're still friends. Give it a chance.'_ She really hoped that Grace would say yes, she could need a friend.

Grace heaved a deep sigh, but decided to give it indeed a chance.  _'Okay. But the moment you bring up his name I'm gone.'_

 _'And you don't say anything bad about him. Do we have a deal?'_  It could work if no one if them would talk about Juice, that shouldn't be that hard.

 _'Don't worry. I really don't feel the need to talk about him.'_  Grace sighed. Don't say anything bad about him... He was the one who had cheated - twice! She knew that Faye would always choose Juice over her, no matter what he would do but it hurt, especially because she was the one who was heartbroken. She however understood; she knew Faye for only a couple of months and Faye and Juice knew each other for years.

 _'Good. I'll pick you up Friday morning, is that okay?'_  She hoped for weeks that Grace was able to forgive Juice. Yes, he made one mistake but he felt really bad about it. But it was better not to mention his name. She wanted to use the weekend to get closer to Grace again. Everything seemed to go better except the friendship with Grace and her eating disorders. She still tried to hide it from everyone, but she lost much weight the last few weeks since it became worse. Maybe the thing with Happy and the fact that she couldn't have kids bothered her more than she thought. But no one really noticed yet, maybe because she didn't dress like she had done in the past anymore. She preferred hoodies and leggings, but she missed her old style. Maybe she could be more like herself again when she was in Tacoma. No one would notice there, they barely knew her.

* * *

Grace was nervous as she went into Faye's car. She wasn't sure if she was glad she had agreed with her to go to Tacoma, but there was no way back. She looked briefly at her friend and was a little startled as she noticed how skinny the girl looked. She really had no figure that needed to lose weight, but she didn't dare to say anything about it and just whispered a 'Hey'. It was strange. She had felt okay the past weeks, but now she was sitting next to her friend she was immediately reminded to Juice and she felt ice cold.

Faye gave Grace a small smile as she got into the car. It was weird to see her again, but she was glad. "Hey, you look good", she said, trying to make things easier. It didn't took long before she started to drive. "We'll visit the Tacoma charter first. Kozik wants to see me. But tomorrow we can do some sightseeing if you want."

"Okay," Grace muttered, having no idea what she meant by 'charter'. "So, who is this Kozik?"

"Kozik is a good friend, he's a really nice guy, you'll see," she nodded briefly. "And... Happy will be there too, I'm sure about that," the girl added quietly.

"So it's another biker club," she sighed. "Great. Right what I need." She stared out of the window, not understanding why Faye wanted to take her to another club. If she'd never gone to the clubhouse in the first place, she wouldn't have been such a mess right now. "Can't you just drop me in the hotel? Or did you plan to sleep at your friend's house?"

"I'm sorry. It's only for a few hours. I know you want to avoid all this biker club stuff but it would be cool if you could stay with me. And no, we'll search for a hotel." She looked at the girl with an apologetic glance.

Grace pressed her lips together. She hadn't much of a choice, she was already in the car. "Why do you even go there? I thought you were avoiding Happy?"

"I tried but I couldn't say no to Kozik. Believe me, if you meet him and talk to him, you'll know why," she muttered. "I don't wanna see him. I know this will make things worse again."

An awkward silence fell - again. "Are things well with you and Jay? Or are you still struggling with your feelings for someone else?"

"Yeah, actually it's really something serious. We even talked about adopting a child in the future." She paused for a moment. "But I still love him. Happy."

"You love Jay too?" she wondered.

"I-I do. But it's not the same. Shit, I really don't know what to do anymore," she swallowed, trying to hold back the tears. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Hey, it's okay. You can love more people in different ways," she gave her friend a reassuring smile.

"You think? I don't know. It feels wrong to love Happy in such a way while I'm in a relationship with someone else," she sighed.

Grace shrugged. "You can't help how you feel. I think that it's better if you stop fighting those feelings and allow your feelings for Jay to grow," she mused.

"I did that and it worked! But now I was so stupid and said yes to Kozik. I still hope Happy won't be there, but he definitely will be."

"He is not the most talkative person, maybe he'll stay away?"

"If there's a party he will be there. But yeah, maybe he's trying to ignore me again... and I won't make a move."

"And if he doesn't ignore you we can always leave, right? We'll just tell that Kozik that I don't feel comfortable or something. That won't even be a lie, I think."

"That's a plan. Man, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you before where we're going. We won't stay long, I'm sure Kozik will understand," she gave her another smile before she focused on the street. It was a long drive, the longest she ever had and she was pretty tired in the end.

* * *

The night had already fallen when they reached Tacoma. Faye had received a text that Kozik had made the guest room ready, so they could save money for a hotel. Grace wasn't all too happy about it, she didn't exactly like to stay a few days with a man she didn't know, but Faye assured her that she would like him. When they parked the car in front of the address, Grace started to feel nervous. She didn't speak a word as they walked to the front door and rang the bell. It didn't take long before a blonde man opened the door, showing them a disarming smile. 

"Hey there!" He pulled Faye in a hug, and right after that he did the same with Grace, who was a little overwhelmed. "So, you're the mysterious friend? I'm Kozik," he said, leaning on both her shoulder and Faye's. 

"I um, I'm Grace," she muttered.

"Exactly, that's Grace! Probably the nicest girl you'll ever met," Faye chuckled as she stepped inside. This place hadn't changed since the last time she had been here. "So, uhm, I need a smoke." The ride had been long and all she wanted to do now was relax. She disappeared on the balcony and lit a cigarette.

Grace felt a little lost now Faye had walked away. She looked around in the living room, that wasn't as cleaned up as Juice's apartment and... She squeezed her eyes for a while. She didn't want to think about him. They were wearing the same cut, that was the only similarity between them. She shook off the image of Juice's face and looked at the man again. He was older than she was, she estimated him around his end thirties, which meant that he was probably only a few years younger than her parents, giving her a strange feeling. She had always had friends of her own age. Juice was eight years older and Faye and Adrian five, that had been the limit and she realized that she must be Faye's youngest friend. "Well... nice place," she said after a while, as she was feeling how he was studying her face.

"Thanks," he smiled. "So, how long do you know Faye?" he asked as he led her to the kitchen.

"I moved to Charming around... four months ago. She's my neighbor, so she showed me around." Grace took a drink from him and had to admit that he looked very sympathetic, much more than most bikers that she had met. "You know her a long time, I guess?"

"Yeah, ever since she was a little kid. I prospected in Charming, almost twenty years ago." He chuckled. "Damn, I'm old. Forty in a few months." He gave her a sad smile, giving her the impression that he found it hard to get older. 

"Well, you don't look like forty," Grace admitted with a little smirk. 

"Let's hope that you mean that I look younger, otherwise you'll be sleeping on the doormat tonight girl." 

Grace chuckled, the glimmer in his eyes made her feel comfortable immediately. "A lot younger," she promised. "Thirty, or something." 

"Yeah you wish." Laughing, he slapped her shoulder. "I say; let's interrupt Faye from that nasty habit of hers and I'll show you what a good party looks like. They really don't know how to do that in your little town." He walked towards the balcony and knocked on the glass door. "Yo Faye, it's party time!"

Faye put out the cigarette in the ashtray as Kozik knocked and got a gum from her bag before she went inside. "I'm ready, just have to change my shoes," she smiled and patted both of their shoulders. Quickly, she changed into heels and put her sneakers to the side. "You two already got to know each other a little?"

Kozik swung an arm around Grace's shoulder. "Yeah, think I got a new best friend." He noticed that she didn't feel very comfortable to stand so close to him, but he was sure she was more relaxed by the end of the night. If she had been with Juice and hung out with Faye she must have had some experience with guys, right? The girl looked sweet, but also a bit reluctant and he couldn't wait to loosen her up a bit and make her have some fun.

"Well, then have fun with your new best friend at the party," she grinned, shaking her head. They walked out to the car and Kozik's bike. "You come with me or him?" she asked Grace.

"Um no I'll come with you," she said quickly. She had never been on anyone's bike but Juice's and really didn't want to be reminded about that.

"Okay, sure," she shrugged, smiling. "We see you at the clubhouse then," the girl told Kozik and got in her car. Actually it was a stupid question. Grace didn't even know him yet. Of course she wouldn't go with him.

Grace felt nervous when they parked the car in front of the clubhouse. It was a smaller building than the one in Charming, but the row of bikes in front of it and the scantily dressed women around the cut wearing men created the same atmosphere. Her eyes flashed to the side. As she saw Faye's pale face, her hand slipped into her friend's and she squeezed. Having some experience with being in love with a biker, it wasn't hard to put herself in her shoes; she was probably terrified that she would enter the room and find Happy with another girl. For a moment her thoughts drifted to Juice, wondering if he was also in his clubhouse, with a girl on his lap that he would take to his room later tonight. Her heart squeezed painfully and she took a deep breath, trying to banish the thoughts from her head. There was no doubt that he would do that, and thinking about it wouldn't stop him from doing it.

Faye squeezed Grace's hand, holding it tight. She wanted to run and never come back here. Of course there was a chance that Happy was with another girl, which would be good because he may forget about his feelings for her, but it would also hurt her. But she couldn't blame him, she was with someone else, too. For a moment she looked at her friend, noticing that it was hard for her too. They kinda shared the same fate. "We still can go back..." she muttered.

Grace looked over her shoulder when Kozik's bike rolled up the compound. She had a feeling he wouldn't let them go that easily, not when Faye couldn't explain herself and she understood why her friend wanted to keep her feelings for Happy secret. At the same time she also had the feeling that Faye needed to do this; maybe she would discover that she really was getting over Happy. "We'll just have a quick drink, okay? I'm sure he keeps his distance from you - or from other girls, just not to hurt you." She had no idea if that was true, Happy didn't look like a man who cared a lot about anyone's feelings, but she didn't share that thought. After all, she had only had a few conversations with him.

Faye looked surprised. Surprised that Grace was the one who wanted to go in there. But one quick drink shouldn't hurt and Kozik would be happy. It was just a party, nothing more. "Okay, one quick drink," she nodded briefly, taking a deep breath. They waited for Kozik before they went inside.

Kozik swung his arms around the shoulders of both girls as he walked them in, trying to enjoy the last minutes that his face would be intact. For Happy would be mad. Oh, he would be so fucking mad. But Kozik really believed he needed a good talk with Faye, instead of running away from her. He never lived much up to his name, but the past weeks he had been more grumpy than ever.

Faye wondered if Happy knew that she was coming, but she guessed not. How would he even react? Ignore her like the last time? Probably. She looked nervously at Kozik. "Would you be mad if I leave?" she asked in a whisper.

"Why?" Kozik asked, raising his eyebrows. "Threw this big party for you man, we don't have the daughter of the infamous Clay over all the time." He winked. "You're afraid of a little bit of attention?" he asked surprised.

Now she kinda felt bad. "No, I love parties, you know that! And I'm glad to be here with you. But... I'm..." she shook her head and gave him a sweet smile. "Forget it, it's gonna be a great evening."

"Yeah it is! No worries girls. Tonight's gonna be awesome." He entered the building and saw the wide grin of his brothers as the two girls entered. Grace swallowed as some of the men were cheering. Sure, it was meant for Faye but she had a feeling that everyone was watching her and she couldn't wait to go back to the shadows.

Faye nodded, still feeling uncomfortable. She looked over to Grace and she didn't look excited at all, which was understandable. The redhead waved at the crowd and smiled, saying 'Hi' to some of them. "Come on, let's get a drink." She grabbed the girls hand and dragged her to the bar. "You tell me when you want to leave, yeah?"

Grace sighed. She actually wanted to leave right now, this whole place reminded her of Juice and suddenly there was this gnawing feeling inside her chest again, that part of her that missed him, despite her hateful feelings, and she hated herself for it. "All this reminds me of him," she muttered. "I guess I gonna need a few drinks before I feel comfortable around here."

"I know," she sighed, caressing her cheek. "And I know how hard it is. But we still can have some fun, let's not think about guys, okay?" Faye gave her an encouraging smile and ordered two drinks. Only a moment later the prospect handed each of them a glass of whiskey.

Grace gave her a shaky smile. "Yeah, let's do that."

She nodded. They had a few drinks, not too many, but enough to loosen up a little, get more comfortable. Kozik was always close to them but he also gave them time for themselves.

* * *

Happy had known that someone from another charter would stop by tonight, but his eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he saw that Faye entered the clubhouse. The wide grin on Kozik's face made him clench his fist. He waited a few minutes, but the anger was so apparent that he couldn't control it. He barged his way towards the bar, grabbed his brother by the collar and barked: "Outside. Now." Kozik almost tripped over his feet as Happy dragged him through the crowd. As soon as they were outside, Happy threw him against the wall and lashed out. Kozik was quick and dove down, causing Happy's fist hitting the wall which made him even more furious. 

"Knock it off bro. This got nothing to do with you." 

Happy's hateful glare told him he didn't buy it. "Shut you fucking mouth." 

This time he wasn't in time and Happy's fist hit his cheek, and the next his chest.

* * *

Faye just wanted to ask Grace if she wanted to dance when she saw Happy and Kozik walk out of the building. Well, at least one of them walked out, the other one was dragged outside. 

"Shit," she muttered to herself. The redhead dragged Grace also outside, but way more gentle than Happy did with Kozik. "Happy stop! Why are you two even fighting?!" she growled, letting go of Grace's hand and trying to get between them, which probably wasn't the smartest thing.

Grace grabbed Faye's arm and pulled her away from the fighting men when she was almost hit by one of them. Shocked she stared at the two, not knowing what to do. Kozik clearly was the one who was on the losing side and she was really afraid of what Happy would do to him. 

"Stay out of this," Happy snapped. Her sudden presence however distracted him, so that Kozik landed a punch on his jaw and grunting, he turned his attention to his brother again. 

"You two need to talk," Kozik said in a fierce voice, limping with his leg because Happy had kicked his knee. "You hiding from her is just madness."

"What is he talking about? Does he know?!" With wide eyes she looked at Happy. It was clear that Kozik knew something and she was surprised that Happy had told him about them.

Kozik pushed Happy away; there was no point in fighting any longer. Blood was dripping from his nose and when he touched it, he grunted because of the pain, although he felt bruises all over his body. "Yeah, I know. It took some time before I figured out that he loves -" He didn't see the punch coming. He fell backwards, but the wall kept him from falling. Pain spread through his eye and he was seeing stars. 

"One more word and I kill you," Happy grunted.

"Would you finally stop punching him?!" Faye yelled at Happy, pulling him away from Kozik after he had to take another punch. "It's not his fault that you fell for me! No reason to beat the shit out if him." 

"Well it's the reason you're here now, huh? You and your boyfriend were doing fine without me, you never should have come here. What the hell were you thinking!" he snapped. 

"He wanted me here and I couldn't say no, that's why I'm here. You think I'm happy about it? Believe me, I prayed you wouldn't be here tonight," she huffed. Sighing, she took Kozik's face in her hands and looked at him worried. "Grace? Could you take care of him? Bring him home or... whatever..." she turned her head to look at the blonde girl, a pleading look in her eyes.

Kozik limped toward the girl. "You got any experience with patching people up?" he grinned. 

"Not really," she muttered, feeling shaky all over her body. She stared with wide eyes at Happy. "I'm not going to leave her with him," she whispered. 

"Don't worry. He won't hurt her. Come on, let's go to my place. Those two really need to talk."

Skittishly she looked at Fay, who gave her a nod. 

"Go with him, I'll be there later," she assured her.

"You two; talk!" Kozik yelled over his shoulder as he walked to his bike. "Want the both of you back to SAMCRO after the weekend!"

"Don't worry, I won't stay," Faye said to Happy. "I just wait until they're gone and spend a few hours in a diner or something."

"Why don't you just go with 'em?" Happy snorted. "Or is he fucking the church girl now? You're offering her to all your friends?"

"Offering her to all my friends? What the fuck is wrong with you? She's a friend and we wanted to spend the weekend together. The only reason I'm still here is because Kozik would force me to go back and talk to you!"

Happy took a deep breath, not really knowing what to answer. He just wanted her to leave, he was behaving like an idiot and he wasn't used to that. Even worse; they had surely attracted some attention from the others and he felt ashamed. "I'm out," he grunted. "Just man up and tell Kozik to go to hell."

"I'm not you. I care about people's feelings. Kozik just tried to help. It wasn't the smartest thing he did, he's probably just trying to be a good friend." She really didn't blame Kozik for bringing her here. "And in the end it was my decision to come here."

"Well it was a stupid decision. Does you boyfriend even know you here? You really ruining everything for this stupid discussion?" Happy growled, lighting up a cigarette to calm himself down a little.

"Yes, he does know, there's no reason to lie. I don't ruin anything because nothing will happen," she shrugged and leaned against the cold wall. Some people were still looking at them, which didn't bother her.

Happy's eyes rested upon her for a while. He was wondering if she was over him, if it would be safe for him to come back but he dreaded the answer and kept silent, just nodding at her words and staring in the distance. "How's home?" he asked after a long silence, as he had calmed down a little.

"Like always. But you really should come back, they miss you," she replied softly. Again there was a long silence but she wanted to know about his feelings. "You found some distraction here? Or... do you still have feelings for me?" With her green eyes she looked into his.

Happy sighed. Not a single day had passed without thinking about her, and he hadn't fucked a single woman while she was on his mind. "I gotta stay here," he answered, not willing to admit his feelings.

"Okay, can't force you to come back," she mumbled. Of course it made her sad. It still wasn't fair that he stayed away because of her. "I-I think I should go. I really don't know what to say anymore and we both don't feel comfortable right now. Please just tell Kozik that we have talked, I don't want him to be disappointed. Could you do that ?"

Happy sighed. It felt wrong that she had to leave a party that was organized for her. "You shouldn't leave your own party," he said. "You think you can handle being with me in the same room? Otherwise I'll be the one leaving. I promise to keep my hands off you," he said, and he meant it.

"Still feels weird that this is my party," she laughed softly. There was never thrown a party for her except when it was her birthday. "You won't leave another place because of me. I can handle being in a room with you, I promise." She gave him a warm smile and titled her head to the side. "Come on, let's get a drink."

 


	63. Chapter 63

Leonie regretted what she had done. She had done it on a whim, without thinking too much about the consequences. Grace seemed to be well on her way to leave her pain behind, but Juice... He seemed heartbroken and Leonie knew it was because of her. It had been a mistake – she had thought that he would be over the girl by now but he clearly wasn't. Even though a month had passed without any word from Grace, he still paid no attention to other girls. It however was too late – Leonie didn't dare to admit what she had done. She knew these guys; he might kill her for showing Grace those old pictures, pretending they were recent. To justify what she had done she said to herself that there never really had been a future for Grace and Juice – they were too different. The girl was way too sweet for this life. The moment she would discovered that the club financed a porn studio she would freak out, and all the violence was even worse. No, it was for the best of them, Leonie kept telling herself. They just had both been too blind to see it. Despite her attempts to convince herself that she had done the right thing, she did feel sorry for Juice, seeing him in a corner and staring into his glass. She couldn't even remember the last time she had spoken to him, for some reason she had always been afraid that he would sense that she had been with Grace, as if her scent was surrounding her, every day they had hung out. Now she was however in Tacoma with Faye and the distance somehow encourage her to sit down next to him and greet him. "You okay?" she asked softly. She bit her lip. "Never mind, I know you aren't. I'm sorry. It's just hard to see you staring into that glass... I miss your smile."

It was hard for Juice, everything. He indeed was heartbroken and he felt like shit. All the time he hoped Grace would call, send a message. He wished he would at least see her on the streets, but he didn't dare to visit her, to call her. And he wasn't even sure if he wanted it. If they would talk again, they would start another fight anyway. She didn't understand him, and he probably didn't understand her. But he still loved her, his feelings didn't go away, not even a bit. The talks with Faye helped a little, but as soon as she was gone, or when he was lost in his thoughts, this feeling of loneliness became worse. He missed her but he wasn't about to apologize again, he already had done that so many times and it never really helped. So why keep apologizing if there wasn't a chance that Grace would forgive him? A little dazed, he looked at Leonie, shrugging. "That smile won't be back so soon," he mumbled, annoyed. The last few weeks it seemed like he was annoyed by everything and everyone.

Leonie was startled by his cold voice, and if she was honest, it scared her a little. "Don't you think um, it's time to forget about that girl? I don't wanna be rude but... it feels like she made her decision. How long is it ago since you... cheated on her? Around two months right? That's... really long, Juice," she said softly, in a worried tone.

"Forget about her? How could I forget about her? You know her, you talked to her  yourself. She's... perfect." First his voice was firm, but it sounded fragile at the end of the sentence. Grace was like a light in the dark. "I know she made her decision, I'm not stupid. But I'm not over her yet."

Leonie sighed softly. She felt the urge to grab his hand, but she kept her distance. "She's almost... angelic. I don't wanna be rude, but don't you think this life would have ruined her eventually? She might look perfect, but is she also the perfect match for you? I know you love her, but I think you know deep inside that you can never completely be honest with her. She will never understand the club matters and I honestly don't think she's the type of girl who will be okay with the fact that you're living some secret life. Honesty is really important to her."

Juice frowned, putting down the empty glass on the table. "I don't wanna be rude either, but are you trying to talk me out of this relationship? You did that already once, now again. It seems like you don't want to see people being happy around you." It really was weird. It was like she was trying hard to keep them apart. "If she'd give me another chance I'd be honest with her. But I couldn't tell her right at the beginning what life I lead."

"There is no relationship anymore, Juice. And it's the other way around: I find it hard to see unhappy people around me, and I know you are unhappy. Really unhappy. I think you have to let her go. She's not going to give you that chance, and even if she did; the moment she realizes what life you lead, it will lead to another fight. Your worlds are so contradicting that you'll have to choose: hers or yours. And we both know you'll never leave the club for a girl."

"I know that! I know it's not a relationship anymore but it still feels like I'm in one. I'm not interested in other women anymore, I could watch them strip and it wouldn't do anything to me. And yeah, it would lead to another fight, but somehow there's always a chance to work things out. Just mind your own business," he sighed.

Leonie dropped her eyes, feeling incredibly guilty. What if she was wrong? What if he would have stayed faithful to Grace, if they would have worked it out? He was right – she should have minded her own business. But she cared about him, she cared about Grace, hell, she had even fallen for that girl and it had felt like these two had only been hurting each other. She wished them all the luck of the world – just not with each other. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I just wanted to help."

Juice scratched his neck and stood up. "Just stop talking about her and everything's fine. Maybe it'll be better in a few weeks or months, but until then stop trying to help, because it's not helping," he replied, this time his voice was a bit softer but still stern.

"Okay," she sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. She had really believed that she had been helpful in the past and it kinda hurt her that he rejected her again. "I'll see you when you want to talk to me again, I guess," she muttered, turning around and walking outside. She sat down on the picknick table and stared to the sky, suddenly feeling lonely and wishing someone loved her like Juice loved Grace.

Juice sighed and watched her leave. Great, now he was feeling bad. Leonie just wanted to help, but it really was more like she didn't want them to be happy. The man got lost in his thoughts for a moment and decided to apologize. After he had followed her he sat down next to her and stared forward. "I'm sorry, you just wanted to help. But at the moment no one can help me, I need to get over her or get her back. There's no third way."

A bit ashamed Leonie wiped a tear from her cheek. "I know there's no third way. That's what I was trying to tell you. There is only one, but I guess you need more time to accept that." She sighed deeply, staring forward. "I find it just hard to see you so sad, I couldn't ignore it... like everyone else does," she muttered.

"There's not only one way, Leonie. I know it's stupid to hold on to the thought that she could give me another chance, but maybe she will, maybe one day she'll be ready to forgive me for that one stupid mistake I've made," he sighed, his eyes still fixed on the ground. "I'm glad that everyone's ignoring it, it's hard to talk about her."

"She's moving on, Juice," she admitted softly. Grace didn't want him to know that they were seeing each other on a regular basis, but she wanted him to move on too. She just couldn't see him withering away like this. "She tried to forgive you but she can't. I don't think anyone can ever forgive a mistake like you made, not truly. She realized that she was fooling herself while hoping she would find some miraculous way to forgive you. It would always be in the back of her mind. You fucked up, I'm sorry, I really am. She's moving on, and you really should let go of that hope for you will never be happy otherwise. She's not coming back to you."

"Wait, how do you know all this? You talked to her twice, right? And it was at the night I had cheated on her." Now he raised his head and looked at the girl confused. "And there are many couples who can work out things like that. But even if she can't forgive me... I can't just move on, that's impossible. I'll need time, much time." Hearing again that he fucked it to pissed him off, but he stayed calm.

"She called me, after a few days," Leonie explained. "She wanted to thank me for being there for her after you cheated on her. After that we spent some more time. I know how it feels to have a cheating boyfriend, so I could relate to how she was feeling and it created a bond, I guess." She stared at her fingers, the guilt seemed to set her guts on fire. "I was honest to her. I told her how it ended for me, but I also told her that you weren't like my ex. She wanted to try to forgive you and she thought it was going well, but then when she was seeing you again after two weeks all the pain was back and she had to go through it again... it was just too much for her." A tear slipped down her cheek. "It's something that never truly goes away," she said. "That reminder of the moment you heart broke will always be around, lurking in the darkness, jumping at you when you least expect it. In all your future relationships."

He let out a bitter laugh as he stood up and kicked some small stones with his feet. "You saw her the whole time? You talked to her about her and me? Why the hell haven't you said anything?" No, all of this became even weirder. "And it created a bond between you? What kind of bond?" He knew exactly that Leonie was into girls, too, and the way she talked about Grace... he didn't like it. Maybe she liked his girl more than she should. He ignored her tears and the rest of her words, just staring at her.

"She needed someone she could talk to, someone she could trust," Leonie answered calmly. "I like you, Juice, but we aren't exactly as close and Faye and you and Grace needed someone like me. She didn't want you to know about our friendship, she just wanted to be left alone, and I respected that. What had you expected me to tell you? More reminders of the way you broke her? Of her suffering? I knew it wouldn't do you any good, and her neither. I'm trying to help you, the both of you!"

"And she can trust you? A croweater? Yeah, you know so much about great relationships," he hissed. "Grace and I are not your business. She has a friend she can trust and talk to, that church boy. You're not trying to help, Leonie, I think there's another reason why you are spending so much time with her. Are you so desperate, really?" he asked her in a calm voice but the look in his eyes was cold.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Leonie reacted irritated. "I haven't always been a Croweater, I have more experience with relationships than the both of you together and I'm a trustworthy person! More than you are! And why am I desperate for being friends with her? She's great, at least she isn't as judgmental as you are!" she tried to keep her voice down because she didn't want to start drama, but his words hurt her, he made her feel like she was trash.

"Yeah, and none of them worked. Maybe you should keep your advises to yourself! And are you really just friends with her? Or do you long for her touch? For her to fall for you? You liked her from the moment you saw her." He shook his head, running his hands over his face. "Feels shit when you're judged by someone else, huh?" At least now she knew how he had felt this month.

"Well none of my broken relationships were my fault," she answered fiercely. "I have always been loyal and caring, just like Grace is. Or is it her fault that you wanted another girl around your dick? Yeah, maybe I do have feelings for her, 'cause she's a great woman and I never would have hurt her in the way you did. If you really love her so much, you should let her go so she can be happy with someone who's worthy of her love. Cause you're never going to make her happy and you know it."

"So that's why you kissed me back that night in my room? You knew Grace and I were still a thing. If you care so much, why are you not with her? Why are you still talking to me?" Her words hurt. He had to admit that he probably couldn't make Grace happy. "Maybe she'll find someone else, but I'm sure it's not you. You can't make her happy either, her mom would never accept that." Before he'd get even more pissed he went back inside and left her there.

"I talk to you because I care about you too!" she yelled, although he was already leaving. It was true. She had always cared about him, had always craved for his attention. It was less now she had fallen in love with Grace, but she would always have a soft spot for him, and she truly wanted him to be happy – just with someone who fitter better than Grace. Sighing she turned her face away and stared at her feet. She knew he was right. Grace's mom would never accept her daughter to have a gay relationship an she doubted that Grace was bisexual at all. But still she believed that she could make Grace happy, she could love her like Juice couldn't and she just hoped her friend would see that one day and dared to open up for her love.

 


	64. Chapter 64

"So, I heard you are Juice's ex?" 

Grace tensed. They were at his house for at least half an hour now and she had felt remarkably relaxed, just listening as he told her lots of anecdotes from drunken parties that made her laugh every time. But now, with bringing up that one name, she froze to the spot. "Yeah," she muttered, staring into her drink. She didn't even know how many drinks she had had, but she felt the urge to drink a lot more now if this was the topic. 

"You were together for long? I don't think I've seen you before, right?" 

"No, just a couple of weeks. Didn't work between us. I eh, I rather not talk about him." 

"Then we won't talk about him." 

As she looked up gratefully, he winked at her, which had to be painful since he had quite a shiner. Groaning, he stood up from the couch. "It's too early to go to bed. You wanna play a game? I'm not really the movie type of guy, I'm too easily bored." 

"You mean you fall asleep?" she joked. "Must be the age." 

"Hey, watch your tongue girl. You can still sleep outside." 

Grace chuckled as she watched him open a closet with games. 

"I'll show you how in shape my body is." He turned around, a box of Twister in his hands. 

She shook her head in surprise. "That your way of doing work-outs?" 

"Uhu. Is one I can do with my kid." 

"Oh, you got a kid?" she asked surprised. 

"Yeah, she's eight. Kendra. Lives with her mom tho." He opened the box and spread the mat on the floor and put the spinner next to it. "So, you wanna do it the easy way or a more challenging game?" 

"Uh, since you're just beaten up, doing the easy way might be the best?" she grinned. 

"Ey, don't underestimate my skills. I'll win from you with my eyes closed." 

She chuckled. "Okay hotshot, let's do the challenging one." 

He gave her a crooked smile and went into one of the rooms, returning with shaving cream in his hands, which he started to smear all over the mat. 

"You do that with your kid too?" she wondered, taking off her shoes and socks. 

"No, only with the girls. Some slippery stripping version but you can keep your clothes on. Or not," he smirked. 

She stuck out her tongue. "Maybe I'll take something off if you win." Which definitely wouldn't happen; he was groaning with every move he made but she secretly liked the fact that he was going to play twister while he had just been beaten up. 

They played various rounds, adding more and more drinks so that it was harder and harder to keep from falling. Grace enjoyed herself – for the first time in forever, it felt. He was obviously flirting with her, but it was in such an innocent and playful way that she didn't feel uncomfortable. She even liked it, she had to admit to herself. He was fun, he was good looking... and it felt like a long time since someone had given her attention like this. 

It had been coming for quite some time when they both fell during the game, chuckling and not finding the strength to get up. She had no idea how, but suddenly his hand raked through her curls and his face was very close while they were both lying on their sides. Suddenly nervous, she looked him in the eye. He said nothing but she felt that he wanted to kiss her. She thought about Juice, wondering what he would think of it. He'd probably hate it, it would tarnish his honor if she messed with one of his brothers. Exactly what she wanted – him to feel bad for once. He shouldn't feel special because of her love, and so she scooted closer to Kozik and started to kiss him. Despite his bruised lips he returned the kiss fiercely. 

Kozik knew it was wrong. Juice might not be his best friend, but he was still his brother. But the hurt look in the girl's eyes when he mentioned her ex's name had given him the impression that Juice was the one who had messed it up – and knowing his brothers, he dared to bet that it was because of a croweater. There was something about this girl that drove him crazy. It was more than her beauty and sweet smile alone, there was some kind of innocence that made her different than all the other girls he had slept with. He shoved one arm underneath her side, then he rolled her on top of him, ignoring the bruised ribs although he couldn't bit back a groan. 

"I'm hurting you, huh," she whispered against his lips. 

"Nah, you're rather healing me." His fingers entangled in her hair, he pushed her face closer so he could kiss her again. 

After a while his body however started to feel really sore, distracting him too much. "You mind a bed?" he asked. "I don't wanna be done with you yet but the pain is a real pain in the ass." 

She chuckled. "I'm not going to sleep with you." She looked at him, with curious eyes. 

He caressed her cheek. "Nah, already figured you aren't that type of girl. It's probably what I like about you. But we can do more kissing, right?" 

Her lips stroked his, very slowly, making him ache for more. "Yeah... you're not a bad kisser." 

A moment later they were both lying in his bed, their clothes sticking because of the shaving foam. Their kisses became more passionate, and when his hand glided underneath her shirt Grace's didn't object. Juice however was still on her mind. She couldn't help but comparing his touches to Kozik's, but there were no sparks, no fireworks in her head. She enjoyed it – but in a different way than she had craved for Juice's touches. It felt like they were still playing a game. Trying to get Juice out of her head, she took off Kozik's shirt and started to kiss the bruises on his impressive upper body. His skin was paler than Juice's and... Frustrated, she breathed in. 

Kozik lifted her head and looked at her. "Hey, what's up? You don't like it, you should stop." 

She blushed. "I've never been with anyone but Juice," she muttered. "It just... calls up memories. But I... I want to forget him."

Kozik gave her a pensive look, then a smirk appeared on his face. "Then I'll make you forget him." He pulled off her shirt, laid her on her back and started to kiss her neck, her shoulders. 

Grace closed her eyes, feeling his lips, his stubble. His rough hands moved up her stomach, higher and higher until both his hands and his lips ended close to her bra. She arched her back so he could open the clasp of her bra, then she quickly took off the garment. She watched him massaging her breasts, watched him suck her nipples, but it didn't call up the feelings she had hoped, all she saw were flashes of Juice's face when he had been doing that and the amazing way that had felt. She however didn't say anything, she didn't want to destroy the mood. 

But Kozik was no fool. He felt that she didn't enjoy it, that she wasn't ready. He laid down next to her and pulled her in his arms. "I'm sorry for what he did to you," he said softly, kissing her temple. "But this isn't going to heal your broken heart. For some people it works.... For others not." 

Grace sighed. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "For using you." 

He chuckled. "Don't worry girl." His thumb stroked her cheek. "I like to be used this way." 

Grace looked up to him and gave him a brief kiss. "You're sweet." 

"I do my best to be bad ass and sweet," he smirked. "Which results in all those bruises." 

Grace smiled slightly, then she laid her head on his chest. "Can I stay here tonight?" she asked, enjoying his strong arms around her. 

"You don't have much of a choice. My arms feel too stiff to let you go."

 Softly laughing, she pressed a kiss to his chest and closed her eyes. She liked him – she really did. But she had learned her lesson; she would never date a Son again.

* * *

Happy started to relax a little around Faye. Yeah, he still felt the need to kiss her, to take her to his room, but it didn't result in harsh words just to keep her away and as the night wore, her smile made him feel better than he had done in weeks. He tried not to think about it; but he kept thinking what would have happened if Clay had never given him that order. Would she have been his old lady then? He slowly started to realize that he'd want that – if she had been single. If he hadn't killed her mother. But those were not the facts, and he just had to find a way to get rid of those feelings that he had never wanted in the first place.

Faye had to admit that it felt great to be around him again, to feel his presence. Every time she looked at him guilt plagued her, because Jay was waiting for her to come home Monday morning. But all she could focus on right now was Happy. She still wanted him so bad. Jay didn't deserve her, he was a good guy, he deserved a better girl than her. 

"So, tell me, is there something new? What did you do the last few weeks?" she asked the man, trying to build a conversation. This time she was hoping that it wouldn't end in a fight, she wanted at least a friendship between them. Which would probably never work again.

"Well, not a damn thing," he sighed. "This place is the definition of boring. I have lots of respect for Kozik for staying here."

"For real, nothing?" she asked, frowning. "This really sounds boring. I bet Kozik is bored too, but he won't go back to Charming 'cause of Tig."

"Yeah I know. But I would have tried a little harder." He stared past her, to some girls. "Even the croweaters are boring."

Briefly, she looked in the same direction he did. "But most of them are really beautiful. Or are they boring in bed?" she smirked, looking at him again. She couldn't blame him if he would've slept with them.

"Both," he shrugged, on the verge of telling her that everyone was boring since her.

The girls looked pretty experienced and she asked herself if they really were boring. "Well, one more reason to get out of here!"

"I will... In time," he promised her. "You look happy. Not gonna ruin that "

"Stop it..." she whispered. "I'm happy, yeah... but I want you back in Charming, where you belong." She was silent for a moment, playing with the glass in her hand. "I don't think that I'll stay with Jay anyway."

He raised his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Because he's a great guy." She had to laugh at her own words. Everyone would think she would be crazy for dumping a guy like Jay.

"That's the point right? You wanna be with an asshole?"

"No, I still wanna be with you. See, he doesn't deserve this. We even talked about kids already. I know I should be the happiest girl, and it's not that I'm unhappy, but I'm the asshole in this relationship."

"You really think you'd be happier with me?" he asked after a long silence.

"Don't know, never got the chance to be your girl," she muttered.

He sighed. "Yeah I know that."

"I learned to live with that, so it's okay I guess," she shrugged, emptying her glass. "How's your mom?"

The former topic was still better than this one, he thought. "Not good."

"Is there a chance she'll get better again?" She didn't want to destroy his mood, but she knew how important his mom was to him and she wanted to know how she was.

"No," he muttered. "'s only gettin' worse. We're basically waitin' until her body gives up. But she's a fighter."

For a while she didn't say a word. But seeing Happy like that did something to her. The redhead hesitated for a moment but then took his hand. No one would notice, they were all drunk or dancing. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "Sometimes I just wish it was over, but at other times she's having a revival, making me feel guilty and shit."

"You don't want her to suffer, that's all. I don't know what I'd do if it was my mom. Don't feel guilty, Hap," she answered softly.

Happy studied her face for a while. "My mom would really have liked you," he said with a sad smile, even though he didn't even know why he was telling her that.

She was touched by his words. "I'm sure I would've liked her too," she answered honestly, caressing the back of his hand with her thumb. "You said she's a fighter. Who knows, maybe I get the chance to get to know her. If you'd want that."

Happy bowed his head and stared at their hands for a while. He had never thought he would feel anything because of a gesture like that, but he did. A bit awkwardly he cleared his throat. "Yeah, maybe..."

Of course she noticed that he was staring at their hands, she watched him the whole time. Faye slowly shoved her fingers between his, as if it was the first time she was holding hands with someone.

Happy's breathing fell heavier. He looked up, and as their eyes met he felt that strange feeling in his stomach again. As if her hand was burning his skin, he pulled back his hand and shoved it deep into his pocket, looking awkwardly away from her.

She pressed her lips together when he pulled his hand back. God, she had enjoyed it so much. "Happy... you didn't give me an answer when I asked about your feelings for me," the girl sighed.

Happy sighed deeply. "You already know the answer to that question."

"But I wanna hear it. And actually I'm not sure how you feel. You're hard to read."

"Kozik just spelled it out for you," he reminded her. He wasn't going to repeat it, no way.

"Yeah, Kozik, not you." She stayed stubborn at this point. Sighing, she shook her head. "Sorry..."

He didn't know what to say and lit up a new cigarette. "I was wrong," he said in the end, knowing she deserved the truth. "Apparently I can have romantic feelings for someone."

This time she couldn't resist and lit up a cigarette too. With a frown she kept looking at him and blew out the smoke. "I noticed that. How does it feel? I know you never had romantic feelings for anyone, it must be hard but also amazing to feel such feelings for the first time."

"I fuckin' hate it," he said. "Makes me feel like a fuckin' pussy."

"Just because you have feelings for someone doesn't mean you're a pussy. The right partner can give you so much. Strength, happiness. You just have to give it a chance." She smiled weakly.

Happy couldn't look her in the eye. "Not for me," he said softly. "You're the only one I wanna be with and that will never happen."

"Even for y-" she broke off the sentence and stared at him. Sure, Kozik had told her that Happy loved her, but hearing such words from him made her speechless. That's all she ever wanted, but it was so complicated. "Look at me, please..." she whispered.

Hesitating, he moved his eyes lower, to hers, not knowing what to say or do. He hated this vulnerability and it took him a lot of effort not to walk away.

Faye waited until their eyes met. "Would you give us a chance if Clay wasn't my dad? Is it only because of him that you stay away from me?" she asked quietly.

Happy was silent for a while, contemplating his words. "If you hadn't been his daughter, I'd given it a try."

She closed her eyes, suppressing her tears. Everything could've been so easy. "Can I stay with you this night?"

He shook his head. "You got a boyfriend." When she looked at him again, there were tears in her eyes, making him swallow. "I'll talk to Clay, okay? Don't think it will lead to something, but at least I tried..."

"I'm not planning to get fucked, Happy. I just... need you," she sniffed. This time she looked away. "No, you know what could happen. There's no way he'll ever understand that."

"Why not?" he asked. "He got an old lady too..." Sure, he knew why Clay would never allow anything between them, but Faye knew nothing about that secret.

"You sure about this ? I mean, why talk to him if we can't be together anyway?" She wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek.

With his thumb he brushed away the tear from her cheek, for once not caring what other people would think. "If you believe that you can't be truly happy without me, I gotta try."

Again she was surprised by his actions. "I can't. I tried, so hard, but there's this emptiness inside me no one else can fill. And it drives me crazy."

"Then tell him that," he answered. "He wants you to be happy. We both want that." He would keep the secret. At times it would be hard, but he knew he could do it and he just had to convince Clay he would.

"I think I can try. Gemma knows about my feelings. Maybe she has already told him," she mumbled, thinking. No, she had promised not to say anything. "Or not. I'll talk to him when I'm back home."

Happy nodded. "Okay. Then I'll talk to him after that."

"Okay, sounds... good." He really was serious about it. "And after that I need to talk to Jay."

"Yeah..." he sighed. "Okay. Let's do it."

"Thank you, Happy. I know how hard this is for you with all those new feelings and I really appreciate it..." She squeezed his hand.

He gave her a hesitating smile. "I'll manage. I think Kozik is the one who needs a thank you."

"Yes, and an apology. From you," she chuckled softly. "So, can I stay? I'll be gone before you wake up, promise."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Faye. Even if we don't sleep together, it's not fair for your boyfriend and well... you brought your friend here and just left her with worlds biggest womanizer. She's probably counting down the minutes until you come home..."

"The worlds biggest womanizer? Come on, Kozik is one of the cutest guys," she smirked. But yeah, maybe she should check on them. And she didn't even want to think about Jay. She was going to break his heart and her own. She had fallen for him, but she loved Happy more than any other man on this earth. 

"Yeah, why do you think the girls like him so much?"' he smirked. "I know him, he'll love that girl's innocence. I'm sure she's already in his bed. Or is she still with Juice?"

"Maybe I should be worried," she let out a laugh. Sighing, she rubbed her neck. "No. You have no idea how down Juice is. Since they broke up he's a completely different person."

Happy studied her face. She was always really involved with others, so he could see how difficult she found the break-up. "I already warned him that it would end bad."

"Maybe he should've listened. I always thought they were cute together, but I think they really are too different," she shrugged, folding her hands.

"Being cute isn't enough for being an old lady. I think she'd be the worst old lady someone can think of."

"I don't know. She's not made for this life, but everyone can change."

"Not a change like that. She would betray who she is."

"That's true. But I hate to see him like this. And she's not happy either." But she was also sure that they both were really over.

"There's nothing you can do about it," Happy shrugged. "They'll fall in love again."

"Maybe," she sighed deeply. "But that's why I'm sure she'll stay away from Kozik. Men in cuts aren't her favorite!"

Happy smirked. "Oh, but I bet she's Koz' favorite. You better save the saint before it's too late."

"Fine, I'll go. I bet they're already sleeping... in different rooms!" With a grin she stood up and smoothed her dress. "Uhm, I see you in Charming next week?" she mumbled, not sure what to say more or do.

"Just give me a call when you've talked with your dad, then we'll decide what's best," he said, feeling a bit awkward because he was saying 'we'.

"Yeah, good." She gave him a smile and slightly squeezed his shoulder. "Thanks for the party guys!" She yelled through the room and went to her car, still a smile on her face.

Happy watched her leave, feeling lighter than he had done in the past weeks. Still he felt the doubt rise. What if he ruined it? What if he was giving her false hopes, what if she would break up with Jay and figure out that being his old lady wasn't what she had expected at all? Shaking his head, he turned towards the bar. His old lady... well a lot had to happen before he could really call her that.

 

 


	65. Chapter 65

Around twenty minutes later Faye reached Kozik's place and closed the door behind her, kicking her heels off her feet. She needed someone to talk to, no matter if it was Grace or Kozik, she trusted both of them. She however wouldn't wake up one of them if they were already sleeping, it was late. However, she couldn't find Grace at all. She wasn't on the couch, not in the bathroom and she wasn't in the extra room. There was a strange feeling in her stomach. What if she left alone? Maybe the fight between the two guys had been too much for the church girl. No, Kozik would've called her in that case. There was only one room left where she could be.

"You better not be in there," she mumbled to herself as she stood in front of Kozik's room, knocking twice. No answer. Sighing, she entered the room and raised an eyebrow. "What the hell, Grace?!" she shook the girl's shoulder to wake her up. What the hell were they doing? Both of them were half naked and she was afraid that Grace would regret this. Kozik was a Son, just like Juice. Faye was shocked and wanted an explanation for this.

Confused, Grace opened her eyes as someone pulled her out of her sleep. Questioning she looked at Faye, knowing she had said something but not realizing the words. "Hmm, what?" she asked in a sleepy voice. Suddenly she felt an arm around her and as she looked to the side, her eyes went wide as she saw the blonde biker she had met a few hours ago. The next realization that hit her, was the fact that her upper body was uncovered. Quickly she pulled the blankets closer and covered her nakedness, skittishly looking at the man who was just sleeping along. She sat up straight so that his arm slid off her body and slowly she remembered how Kozik and she had been playing twister and how they had ended up in his bed. How they had kissed, how he had kissed her breasts... and how Juice had been the only one on her mind. A little helplessly she looked at Faye, not knowing what to say.

Faye noticed the helpless look in the girl's eyes, sighing. "Get out of there," she muttered, dragging Grace gently out of the bed and the room. She didn't care if she was half naked, she had seen breasts before. "Do I have to ask what happend in there? God, Grace, why? If Juice finds out he'll freak out. Why did it have to be one of his brothers?" she asked, desperately searching for Grace's eyes. She should never have left her alone with him. "It's my fault. I asked you to bring him home." Faye leaned against the wall, running a hand through her hair.

Grace had managed to grab her shirt, even though her bra was still somewhere in his room. She pulled it over her head and sighed deeply as she leaned against the dinner table. "We had fun, we kissed and we went a little further. He's a nice guy, I thought I'd deserved a little bit of fun."

"You do, that's not the problem. I'd be the last person who'd stop you from having fun," she sighed. "But what stopped you?" Faye knew the answer to that. Well, at least she thought it was because of Juice, but she wasn't hundred percent sure.

"What do you mean, what stopped me? Touching my breasts was enough and he respected that," she said, stressing the last words. Juice had always been pushing for more, but Kozik hadn't. "I feel no regret," she said, even though she should. Letting herself touch by a man who wasn't her boyfriend, was wrong and she knew it, but right then she had just wanted to fill the void that Juice had left. "I liked it. For the first time in weeks I felt a little bit of happiness again, and that was even before the kissing stuff."

"He's a son, I thought you were done with guys like them." She couldn't understand why it was so hard for her to forgive Juice but have some make out session with the same type of guy. Sure, Kozik was sweet and kinda different from all of them, but still. "Listen, I'm glad you had a nice evening, you deserve a little happiness. But... why can't you give Juice another chance? You had happy moments with him, too. I know, he let another chick suck him, but you have no idea how much he regrets this."

"Oh he did a lot more than just letting a girl suck him," she said embittered and she let out a cynical laugh. "And yeah, he made pretty clear how much he regretted it by cheating on me a second time."

"Woah, hold on." She stood up from the chair and studied Grace's face. "Who told you this bullshit? Since weeks he's sitting in his room, alone. And if he's not in his room or apartment, he's with me or has some club business to do."

"I've seen it, Faye, with my own eyes!" She stood up too, feeling anger flare up. 

"And when was that? Never saw you around!" Faye tried to stay calm, control herself. 

"See, this is why I never told you. Because he can never do anything wrong in your eyes. You keep protecting him and it's making me sick!" Frustrated she wiped her eyes, but there were too many tears. The disappointment because she kept picking Juice's side suffocated her and she started to head for the door.

"That's not true. He did some things wrong, Grace. Especially the cheating thing, I don't always protect him. But he didn't do it a second time!" Quickly, she grabbed the girl by her arm. She wasn't done here yet. "He would've told me. And I know when he's lying or not."

"Well if he would have the slightest bit of dignity he would have been too ashamed to tell you. Plus he was drunk as fuck, maybe he doesn't even remember it anymore," she said angrily.

"What did he do, Grace? When did you saw him? That's all I wanna know," she asked firmly, still holding Grace's arm.

"What he did? Well the only thing I didn't want to do with him," she said through gritted teeth. Suddenly the anger extinguished and she just felt broken. She leaned against the wall, her legs were shaking. "I've gotten to know some of the girls via Leonie and I had asked some of them to test him, because I needed the insurance that he wouldn't do it again. He avoided the clubhouse most days, paid no attention to anyone but a couple of days after we had a fight again, he was drunk and he did sleep with one of the girls and I saw some pictures of what they'd been doing." She breathed out shakily, a tear dripped down her cheek. "I hoped he would at least confess it to me, but I never heard anything from him. Maybe he can't remember, I don't know, but he did cheat on me again." Her lips started to tremble and she wrapped her arms around herself. "And I keep seeing those images. That girl on top of him and his euphoric face, his hands around her breasts..."

Faye let go of her, leaving her some space. She tried to understand her, why she would think that Juice had cheated again. Of course she felt sorry for Grace, seeing her like this. But why would Juice lie? Sure, she would've been pissed but she'd never reject him. "Leonie? Right, your new bestie," she said with a sigh. "And images? Who the hell would take pictures of him while he's fuckin' someone ? I-I don't know what to believe anymore. You're saying he cheated again and he's saying the opposite. You're both my friends," she muttered, wrapping her arms around Grace. "You should've talked to me earlier. But you should see him, he's totally heartbroken. I've never seen him like this. Juice isn't even interested in other women. You're the only girl he's thinking about."

"Well clearly images were needed for even with them you don't believe me. I don't care that he's heartbroken, I hope he stays that for the rest of his life," she said fiercely. "It's his own stupid fault and I'm almost wishing that I slept with his brother because it would have hit him even harder." 

"Stop talking like that." She groaned softly. "Would that make you feel better? Sleeping with his brother so you have your revenge? Go on, do it, but you won't feel better after that."  

"I know that his pain will make me feel better," she said in a dark tone. "But no, I'm not going to give myself away to another biker just because I hate him." She turned around, walked to the spare room and grabbed her bag. "I'm going home." She didn't care that it was in the middle of the night and that she wasn't sober; she'd find a cab.

Faye followed her and grabbed the bag. "You're not going, not now. You're not sober and you're too upset. If you really wanna go home I wake up Kozik and tell him that we're leaving." No matter how angry Grace was at her, she wouldn't let her go alone.

She swung her bag over her shoulder and walked to the door. "I'll find my way back home. Just stay here with your biker friends. I'm sure that one over there knows how to cheer you up." She stepped into her shoes and slammed the door behind her.

It almost scared her how Grace talked. It felt like she was a complete different person at the moment, which showed how hurt she actually was. "Grace wait!" She followed the girl outside, still barefoot and without her bag. "Please, I don't want you to leave like this. At least calm down a little, then you can go."

"I can take care of myself," she yelled over her shoulder. "I was perfectly fine before I met you and your stupid friends." Grace sped up her pace and disappeared in a small alley, not at all affected by the darkness that would have scared her in normal circumstances.

Her words hit her like a truck. But she was right. Without her, Grace would never have met Juice or anyone else of the club. She wouldn't have problems with her parents, with heartbreaks and whatever. 

Faye needed a moment before she went inside again. After she had swallowed the lump in her throat and took a few deep breaths, she called Juice and waited until he answered his phone, which took a while. 

"Juice, you need to do something for me, it's about Grace." Before he could say something she already continued. "We had a fight and she left. She had never been here before and isn't really sober. I'm sure you know a way how to track her down, find her? Would be great if you could do that." 

It didn't even took a second before he started to speak. And he sounded hella worried. "Why didn't you stop her?! It's late, who knows where she is right now. Why did you even fight?!" 

While he was talking tears ran down her cheeks - she was worried and still hurt by her words. "She told me you cheated on her again, that she saw images. She asked Leonie if she could keep an eye on you, and she did. Why did you lie to me, Juice? I'm your best friend," she asked, sobbing. 

Both were silent for a moment. 

"I text you when I've found her." After that, he hung up. 

Paralyzed, Faye stared at her phone. There was a darkness in his voice she'd not often heard before, probably never before.

* * *

Juice put his phone aside, dragged his laptop on his lap, and tracked down Grace's phone. It wasn't the first time he did that, so it didn't take long. He sent the location to Faye, jumped out of bed and got dressed. With quick steps he walked through the club and looked around, but Leonie wasn't here. One of the croweaters was still sitting at the sofa. 

"Hey, can you give me Leonie's address?" he asked with a feigned smile. 

"Yes, wait a moment. She'll be happy to see you," the brown-haired girl said, who stood up and wrote the address on a note. 

"Yeah, I'm sure about that." With a wink, he tore the note out of her hand and went outside. Fifteen minutes later, he parked his bike in front of the building, searching for her name, which he quickly found. He waited impatiently after he'd rang, the lights were still on so she had to be home. 

Leonie was just about to go to bed when the door bell rang. No one ever was at her door that late, so she wondered if one of her neighbors needed help. She walked to the door and opened it, her eyes growing wide as she saw Juice's angry face. In a reflex she tried to close the door, but he already barged inside and she stumbled backwards.

Leonie behaved so conspicuously that he immediately knew that she had something to hide. "You wanna tell me something? I'd advise you not to lie," he spat out the words and pushed her against the next wall. He was so angry, but she was still a woman - so he tried his best to control himself a little.

Fear crept into her soul. Did he know? No – that was impossible. He didn't even talk to Grace anymore. She tried to push him away, but he was way stronger than she was. "I already told you a lot of things today," she answered. "I got nothing more to tell you. Leave my house!"

"Yeah, that's true, but you left the important part out," he hissed. Now he was pressing her against the wall. "You told Grace I cheated again. Tell me, is it funny to ruin things? Did you enjoy it?"

Leonie's thoughts went incredibly fast. What should she do? Deny it? Admit it? She didn't want Grace to know, she didn't want to lose her friend so she rather suffered a beat up and stuck to the story. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she said. "She had asked a lot of girls to spy upon you. I'm not the one you picked with your drunk head!"

"Bullshit! I heard your name, yours. You wanna say she's a liar now, huh?!" he yelled in her face. "And the look in your eyes is telling me you're lying." Juice grabbed her by her throat and squeezed. "The truth, now."

She had no choice. She saw the hatred in his eyes, that look which reminded her that he was part of a gang who killed people now and then. As he kept squeezing her throat and she was starting to see stars, she squeaked. "Okay." As he let go of her throat, she rubbed the burning skin silently, wondering if he really would have killed her - or that he would do it anyway. "She asked me to keep an eye on you. To... test you and to tell her if you stepped the line again. You didn't, but I'd fallen in love with her myself and I asked Ima for some pictures of the porn you made a long time ago. I told Grace you were drunk and that it was recent." Yes - she felt ashamed. She had regretted it - but it had been too late to do anything about it.

"You selfish bitch," he grumbled, stepping closer to her again. "All this time you lied to both of us. We could've worked things out,  _you_ were the problem. But now I know why she never called me again." He grabbed a hand full of her hair and slammed her face against the wall. The blood dripping down her nose wasn't bothering him. He had never hurt a woman, he wasn't like that, but she had gone too far and he lost himself right now. "You'll tell her the truth, you understand? Or I'll do it."

Leonie squeezed her eyes for a moment, feeling dizzy. "I'm not selfish. I just love her and I know you will hurt her again. It's just in your nature. She's too sweet for this life, she deserves better than the both of us and you know it." She stood a little straighter and wiped the blood from her nose. "She didn't even ask questions when I showed her the pictures, all this time she already counted on the fact that you would let her down again. You've broken something inside her, that moment you shoved your dick in someone else's mouth and it left a scar on her of which she will be reminded every fucking day."

"And lying to her makes it better? You broke her heart even more by showing her those shitty pictures! If you really loved her, you would have found a different way for her to get over the heartbreak. Instead you ruined two lives. Does that make you feel better now?! It was none of your business, it was a thing between her and me. Get a fuckin' life, girl!"

"At least those pictures helped her to get over you," she answered coldly, stepping away from him. "Now leave my house or I'll call the cops."

"A lie helped her to get over me. A lie you created. Remember, you tell her or I do. One more lie and next time you're dead." He glared at her. When he walked out, he turned around again. "And stay away from the club. Don't wanna see you there anymore."

"You showing her your real dark side will scare her only further away," she mumbled. 

"I already lost her. Got nothing else to lose. But I want her to know the truth about this lie."

"Whatever, just tell her yourself. Don't think she's gonna believe you anyway, she hates you. The love that she felt for you is long gone." 

He shrugged. "But you won't be by her side either, that's a relief."

 _We'll see,_ Leonie thought, but she didn't say another word to the man and turned around, closing the door to her bedroom behind her.

* * *

Grace had sat down on a stairs leading to a church. She had figured that she had no cash and she had no idea where she could get it. It was around two o'clock, maybe she could just sit here and find a lift tomorrow, for right now she lacked the strength to do anything.

* * *

Kozik woke up as he heard the slamming of a door. The first thought crossing his mind, was that it was probably one of his neighbors, but he started to doubt as he noticed that Grace was no longer lying next to him. Determined to check if she was all right he left his bedroom, but there was no one around. The spare room was empty either and frowning, he headed outside to catch a glimpse of the girls. "Hey, what's going on?" he asked as he saw Faye, she was crying and holding her phone in her hand. "Where's Grace?"

"She left," she whispered and she turned to Kozik, shrugging. "I asked Juice to track her down. We just have to wait." Faye wiped away the tears, sniffing. She hated it to cry in front of a Son. Briefly, she looked at the message Juice send her and showed it Kozik. "You know where this is?"

"Yeah, there's a church." He took the keys. "You're sober enough to drive? And why the hell did she leave? Did I do something wrong?"

"How ironic," she muttered, nodding. "Yeah, I can drive, get in the car. And no, you did nothing wrong, it was my fault."

Kozik sat down in the seat and watched Faye from the corner of his eye. "What happened?" he wanted to know.

Faye started to drive. She couldn't really concentrate. "I found her in your bed, half naked. We talked for a while and we ended up talking about Juice." The girl took a deep breath. "She told me that he had cheated again and that she had seen it with her own eyes. The problem was that I didn't know what to believe anymore."

Kozik nodded, not really knowing what to say. He barely knew the girl and he knew nothing about Juice's actions. He could see the guy cheat on her, that guy had proven to be an idiot a lot of times. "You think she made it up?" he asked after a while, while he guided her towards the church. "That's hard to believe..."

"No, I don't think that! She's not like that. I do believe her, and I believe that she saw images. But maybe those were old pictures or... I don't know. But when I called Juice, there was this dark tone in his voice. Something's going on but I don't know what it is," she tried to explain. 

Kozik shrugged. "Well, maybe the fact that his little secret has come out, made him angry with himself?"

"Who knows. I have to talk to him again as soon as I'm back in Charming," she sighed. 

A while later she parked the car and looked at the church. "Can you talk to her? She won't listen to me."

 "Yeah, sure."

"Okay, thanks, and not just for that. I'm sorry for the beat up."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I saw that coming the moment I called you. Is he going back?"

"Why the hell would you risk a beat up because of our problems? You're way too sweet to be a Son." She smirked briefly. "Well, he will talk to my dad, but I don't know if he really comes back."

"Like I wouldn't survive a beat up," he shrugged. "Hap's my best friend. I've seen that grim face of him for far too long, I was starting to get nightmares of it," he joked.

"Yeah, that grim face can be terrifying. But you could've told me that you knew about us!"

"Yeah well, I like a little surprise," he winked. He looked through the windscreen and watched the sad girl on the stairs. "Gonna cheer that one up now. Damn I feel like a saint today, I'm sure I have saved my spot in heaven by now," he said with a smirk, leaving the car.

"If anyone can cheer her up at the moment, it's you. And yeah, you're such a saint," she rolled her eyes in amusement and leaned her head against the window, watching Grace. Maybe she should leave her alone, forever.

Grace looked up as she heard footsteps and didn't know how to react when she saw Kozik. She blushed a bit as she saw that he wore no shirt, and felt even more uncomfortable as he sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms. "Hey girl. What's all this? Hmm?" With a hand against her cheek he forced her to look up. 

Grace sighed. Before she knew it, she was crying again. 

He kissed her forehead while he pulled her between his legs and wrapped both of his arms around her, whispering: "It's okay to cry. I'll hold you, you won't be alone." 

Grace closed her eyes and leaned against his chest, softly sobbing while his hand was rubbing up and down her back. 

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked after a while, brushing a few tears from her cheeks. 

She wiped her eyes and bent her head. Kozik was his brother – he would undoubtedly pick Juice's side too. But there was something trustworthy about this guy, something that persuaded her to be honest. "Juice cheated on me, two months ago. He felt miserable about it, so I decided to give him another chance but I needed... insurance that he wouldn't do it again. So we were supposed to keep our distance for a month, but then he did it again." Breathing shakily, she wiped her eyes. "But Faye just can't see anything bad in him. She keeps defending him, even though I saw the pictures myself.' 

Kozik stroked her hair, not saying anything for a while. "Who gave you that pictures? Any chance they're fake?" 

Grace tensed. She wanted to break away from the embrace, but his arms were strong. "You're also picking his side?" 

"I'm not choosing any sides. I'm just trying to get the picture clear. It just... sounds a little weird."

 "Why? I asked girls to test him. Those pictures were just proof that he did it again." 

Kozik looked at her sad face and sighed. There wasn't much he could say about it – he had no idea how Juice really felt about this girl and what he had or hadn't done. He brushed a strand of hair between her hair. "Grace... it's in the middle of the night. I get that you're angry with Faye, but I can't let you sit on the streets here and I can't drive you home yet cause I'm not sober. So how about you come back with me, ignore Faye and just sleep a few hours. Then I'll bring you back tomorrow, if you still want to leave." She looked up to him, the tears in her eyes sending a shiver down her spine. She really must have loved Juice, she was completely broken. 

"Okay," she whispered. "T-thank you." 

For a moment her lips lingered on his, and he tasted her helplessness. Not wanting to abuse that, he moved his lips to her forehead and kissed it. "Come on." 

As they stood up, Kozik laid a hand against her lower back until she climbed in the back of the car. He sat down next to Faye again and nodded briefly, while Grace stared out of the window in silence. 

"You want me to call Juice?" he asked after he had left Grace in his room and had returned to the living room. "You uh, you're having a tough time too, huh?" He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. "Maybe a man to man talk will help."

"Don't know. Seems like you're good in talking to people. Maybe it could help," she whispered, staring forward. "Why am I like this? Why does everybody regret that they met me? I disappointed so many people in my life already. And in two days I'll disappoint even more. I try to be a good friend, but it never works." Faye buried her face in her hands. "Maybe he'll tell you the truth."

"You're a great friend, Faye," he said, stroking her hair. "You're just standing too close to the man who broke her. You two are connected and because of that it feels like you've hurt her too. She'll come around, trust me. She just needs time to heal."

"He's broken too. That's why I can't believe he did cheat on her again. You should see the sad look in his eyes when someone mentions her name, he really loves her. But maybe it's better if I stay away from her, for real. We all should. It was a mistake to bring her with me, but I'm glad you could make her smile for a few hours."

"I'll talk to him, maybe he'll be honest with me," he said. "And she'll get through this, I'm sure of it. You're a great friend, she's just going through a hard time. But I'm sure things will get easier." He gave her a wink. "Now try to get some sleep, okay? She'll sleep in my bed, I guess I'll take the couch and you can have the guestroom. Tomorrow we will talk. Maybe things are a bit clearer after I've talked with Juice."

"I hope you're right." The girl was too lazy to change into her pajamas. "I'll take the couch, it's comfortable. You can take the bed." Faye smiled and kissed his cheek, then she lied back and closed her eyes. "Thanks for all your nice words."

"It's gonna be okay, Faye. I promise," he winked before he went to the guestroom where his daughter was usually sleeping. Sighing, he sat down on the bed and called Juice.

Juice answered his phone when he saw Kozik's number, maybe he wanted to inform him about Grace. "Hey, you found her?" was his first question. Actually that was all that mattered now; that they had found her, unharmed.

"Yeah, she's safe," he assured him, hearing the tension in his voice. "Sleeping like a rose now."

He sighed in relief, nodding to himself. "That's good. Please keep an eye on her." He pressed his lips together. "Maybe you can drive her home? I don't want her to be alone and I'm not sure if she'll get into Faye's car after that fight."

"Yeah, I already offered to bring her home. I'll get her home safely, don't worry." 

"Thank you, means a lot", he said honestly. Actually he wanted to pick her up and bring her home himself, explaining her what had happened, but she'd rather walk two days before she'd get into his car

Kozik was silent for a while and heard his brother's nervous breathing. Knowing that he had panic attacks now and then, he asked: "How are ya?"

"I-I don't know. Not really good. I'm sure you heard what an asshole I am." Tears itched in his eyes, like so often the last few weeks.

Kozik shrugged. "We're all assholes." He smirked. "I'm no exception." He was silent for a while. "Is her anger justified?"

It was stupid, but it made him feel better that he wasn't the only asshole. "No, it isn't. I cheated once, but not a second time. Hell, I would be the world's biggest idiot if I'd risk losing her again."

He chuckled. "Yeah, gotta admit that. It's a damn pretty girl you got there with a smile that makes you feel like a teenage boy." He lifted the corner of his mouth. "So... it's a weird story huh? With those pictures. Got no jealous ex who's fucking things up?"

"It's a croweater. She fell in love with Grace and used old pictures, changed the date. Grace believed her, can't blame her tho."

Kozik sighed deeply. Yeah, he could understand too. "She's not over you. At all. So I'm sure you two will work it out, once she knows the truth."

"I just have to find a way to prove it to her, not sure how to do this. She eh, she's really not over me?" His eyes grew big and his heart almost jumped out of his chest.

"No. She tries hard, though." He cleared his throat. "Hey I told you I'm an asshole too sometimes. So yeah, last night Faye was at the clubhouse and Grace was here with me... so uh, we made out a bit. She didn't enjoy it for long tho, you were still on her mind so we stopped," he confessed. "So that's why I know she's not over you." He knew it would hurt his brother, but there was no way he was going to keep it secret from him. It happened, they couldn't change a thing about it.

His face went pale when he heard what Kozik was telling him. He hadn't expected that. Sure, he knew he could do nothing about it, Grace wasn't his girl at the moment. But it hurt bad that she was making out with one of his brothers. "You knew that she was my girl." He swallowed, trying to control his breath. Quickly, he rubbed his eyes as the tears in them itched even more. He wasn't mad, but kinda disappointed.

"Yeah I did. Didn't know you still loved her tho. She said your relationship lasted only a few weeks until you cheated on her, so I figured you weren't that serious about her and that she was the hurt one. Couldn't exactly resist her when she kissed me. I feel sorry now, tho," Kozik said honestly, really feeling bad now he had heard the hurt in Juice's voice.

"You couldn't know. Sure, it sucks, and it hurts. But she's not my property." And he neither could blame Grace for kissing him. He let a girl suck his dick, he'd survive a kiss. "Just try not to kiss her again, please," he muttered.

"I won't - you got my word," he said, meaning it. "I'll bring her home tomorrow, that's all. And then you're going to win that girl back and the next time I visit Charming I wanna see the both of you, looking totally smitten."

"Good, thanks." He believed him. Kozik never lied before and he always kept his word. "Like I said, I'm gonna do all I can to make her mine again. That's all I want. Could you text me when you're back in Charming with her?"

"I will let you know when she's home," he promised. "Take care, brother." He ended the call and laid down again. And now - now he just wanted to sleep.

 


End file.
